1
00:00:09,825 --> 00:00:10,592
Ah!
2
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,962
D'oh!
3
00:00:47,987 --> 00:00:51,587
♪ The Simpsons 22x15 ♪
The Scorpion's Tale
Original Air Date on March 6, 2011
4
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:55,312
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
5
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,387
Meep, meep.
6
00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:35,360
Meep, meep.
7
00:01:35,444 --> 00:01:39,247
Hey, this was one of the
planets on Star Trek.
8
00:01:39,315 --> 00:01:42,384
It's so hot I want
to wedgie the sun.
9
00:01:42,451 --> 00:01:44,419
I wet my arm-pants.
10
00:01:44,487 --> 00:01:47,389
Children, I hope we all have
a pleasant and orderly day
11
00:01:47,456 --> 00:01:49,324
here at "Satan's Anvil."
12
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,409
No one knows why the early
settlers called it that,
13
00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:52,994
and I suppose we never will.
14
00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:55,230
Now remember to stay
hydrated, and...
15
00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:57,015
Rattlesnake!
16
00:01:58,867 --> 00:02:01,336
Ha! You fall for that
every year, Seymour.
17
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:04,305
And the one year I didn't, I was
bitten by an actual rattlesnake.
18
00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:07,258
Yes, if I recall, you took
a sick day you did not have.
19
00:02:07,343 --> 00:02:08,943
I was going to
lose my foot.
20
00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:11,312
Of which you have two.
Mm...
21
00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:12,680
Ah!
22
00:02:17,269 --> 00:02:19,220
Greetings,
desert dwellers.
23
00:02:19,288 --> 00:02:20,505
Git out.
24
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:23,108
The second we let one
trespasser on our land,
25
00:02:23,192 --> 00:02:24,926
then every goldang...
26
00:02:24,994 --> 00:02:26,478
Aw, for crying out loud,
27
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:28,530
It's like Grand Central Station
around here.
28
00:02:28,597 --> 00:02:30,098
Now, Delbert, be nice.
29
00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:31,282
He's just a boy.
30
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,902
Oh, sure, first they send a boy,
31
00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:35,136
then a prairie dog,
32
00:02:35,204 --> 00:02:37,105
then they send in them
black helicopters.
33
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:47,932
Sir, you have won a National
Endowment For The Arts grant
34
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,400
for your scrap-metal sculptures.
35
00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:52,353
You'll have to put that check
in my cold dead hands.
36
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,275
Hmm.
37
00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:02,280
This park's environment
has been preserved
38
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:06,217
free of invasive species,
except for one-- rock climbers.
39
00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:10,705
Uh, my jaw is not a toe-hold.
40
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,190
But if I reach your summit,
41
00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,025
I'll have climbed rangers
on seven continents.
42
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,210
Fine.
43
00:03:19,181 --> 00:03:21,082
Oh, I sprained my ankle!
44
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:22,834
I'm gonna die up here.
45
00:03:22,918 --> 00:03:25,436
Hang on, I'm coming up for you.
46
00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:27,789
Hurry before it gets dark.
47
00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:30,625
This next move is tricky. Yeah.
48
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,665
Oh, my God.
49
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:39,234
The legends are true.
50
00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:41,186
Did you find gold?
51
00:03:41,253 --> 00:03:44,022
Better-- the prospectors
left naughty French postcards.
52
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:46,774
Whoa, mama!
53
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,976
Bart, this is fool's porn.
54
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,029
I'll take it off your hands.
55
00:03:51,096 --> 00:03:52,514
C'est si bon.
56
00:03:52,581 --> 00:03:54,749
Si bon. Si bon.
57
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,168
And... remorse.
58
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:26,447
"While beautiful, the desert
also harbors hidden dangers:
59
00:04:26,515 --> 00:04:29,717
"cacti, poisonous snakes,
and most deadly of all...
60
00:04:29,785 --> 00:04:32,153
Scorpions!"
61
00:04:37,993 --> 00:04:41,196
They calm down when they're near
the Springfield Silvertongues.
62
00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:44,415
Hmm.
63
00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:46,584
Now they're aggressive again.
64
00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:48,086
I'm sure there's a correlation,
65
00:04:48,153 --> 00:04:51,439
but could there be a...
causation?!
66
00:04:57,162 --> 00:05:00,748
These flowers saved me
from a terrible fate--
67
00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:02,901
not getting an "A" on
my next science project.
68
00:05:04,153 --> 00:05:05,870
Lisa, we have to go.
69
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,056
Milhouse found a hippie
skeleton and he's freaking out.
70
00:05:08,123 --> 00:05:10,091
Never get off the bus!
71
00:05:10,159 --> 00:05:11,793
Never get off the bus!
72
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:18,316
Check it out! Something
pathetic's going on.
73
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,885
You can't throw me out!
I'm not dead yet!
74
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:22,320
That's the deal, man!
75
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,889
I'm sorry, Abe,
but you're just too cranky.
76
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,542
I got a right to be cranky.
77
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,511
The food stinks and the TV's
only got one channel.
78
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:31,963
That's a fish tank.
79
00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:33,364
You're a fish tank.
80
00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,366
That is so hurtful.
81
00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,136
I wish I was a fish tank.
82
00:05:38,203 --> 00:05:40,571
Then I could filter
out his nasty words.
83
00:05:40,639 --> 00:05:42,624
Call me a fish tank...
84
00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:44,225
Just go, Abe.
85
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:46,327
That doesn't seem fair--
86
00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:48,763
they won't let him escape,
then they kick him out.
87
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,315
I wonder where he'll go.
88
00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:52,317
Either the grave or
somewhere much worse.
89
00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:55,553
Sour cream and chives?
90
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,755
In my day,
all we put on potatoes
91
00:05:57,823 --> 00:06:00,224
was pine needles
and barber hair.
92
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:01,793
I hate this century.
93
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:06,230
Okay, we're going to take turns
having Grampa as a roommate.
94
00:06:06,298 --> 00:06:07,732
Who wants to go first?
95
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,617
Me! Me!
96
00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:13,121
I want him every night,
forever and ever.
97
00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:15,306
'Cause I love my...
98
00:06:17,042 --> 00:06:20,178
Nose in a funny book,
how rude.
99
00:06:20,245 --> 00:06:21,696
Ain't you never heard
of conversation?
100
00:06:21,764 --> 00:06:23,264
Fine.
101
00:06:23,332 --> 00:06:24,432
How's it going?
102
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,800
Terrible.
103
00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:28,152
I got this new roommate
and he won't stop yapping.
104
00:06:28,237 --> 00:06:31,489
Here's an experiment
for you:
105
00:06:31,573 --> 00:06:34,509
Find a man who wants
to marry a lady poindexter.
106
00:06:36,111 --> 00:06:37,795
Homie...
107
00:06:37,863 --> 00:06:39,897
Hey, you call that
making love?
108
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,400
Homer, I told you he
wouldn't sleep through it.
109
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,669
In my day, women
didn't make a sound.
110
00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:51,326
This calls for some
Springfield Silvertongue.
111
00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,731
Dad, look.
112
00:06:56,799 --> 00:06:58,366
This essence
of a wildflower
113
00:06:58,434 --> 00:07:00,868
makes these angry
scorpions docile.
114
00:07:00,936 --> 00:07:02,603
That's great, honey.
115
00:07:02,671 --> 00:07:05,306
If you were a boy,
you'd be a scientist.
116
00:07:05,374 --> 00:07:06,541
Back off, you mutt.
117
00:07:06,608 --> 00:07:08,810
Or I'll make dog-head
soup out of you.
118
00:07:08,877 --> 00:07:14,899
Hmm, if it works on nasty
scorpions, then maybe...
119
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,985
it'll work on nasty stains.
120
00:07:20,422 --> 00:07:22,790
It does.
121
00:07:26,328 --> 00:07:29,197
And there's something else
it might be good for.
122
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:36,454
Why are you guys
eating so fast?
123
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:40,007
Trying to get out of here
before Grampa wakes up.
124
00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:43,694
That's him!
125
00:07:43,762 --> 00:07:44,896
Mom, quick, our lunches!
126
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:46,714
Go! Save yourselves!
127
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:51,602
Good morning, family.
128
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:53,237
It's such a beautiful day,
129
00:07:53,305 --> 00:07:55,540
I thought I'd take my little
friend here for a walk.
130
00:07:55,607 --> 00:07:57,575
Abe, are you
feeling all right?
131
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,243
Never better.
132
00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:02,213
The sun is shining, there's
a spring in my slippers
133
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:06,651
and my wonderful son woke me up
with a delicious cup of coffee.
134
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:08,486
Hmm...
135
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:13,257
Dad, is there anything
unusual in Grampa's coffee?
136
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:14,625
Uh, you look tense.
137
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:18,463
Let's discuss this over a cup
of Grampa's coffee.
138
00:08:24,699 --> 00:08:25,866
Here you go, champ.
139
00:08:25,869 --> 00:08:28,171
Go buy yourself some
rock-and-roll records.
140
00:08:28,239 --> 00:08:29,522
To the antique store.
141
00:08:30,824 --> 00:08:33,359
Now, what can I do for you?
142
00:08:33,427 --> 00:08:34,994
Eat something green?
143
00:08:35,062 --> 00:08:36,763
Vote for someone brown?
144
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:40,266
Dad, I know what you did.
145
00:08:41,719 --> 00:08:43,636
And I locked the back door.
D'oh!
146
00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:47,924
...and that's why you're
acting so sweet and kind.
147
00:08:47,992 --> 00:08:49,909
Because Dad drugged you.
148
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:56,466
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
149
00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:58,618
Your kisses feel
like raw liver.
150
00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,670
But it's not
real happiness.
151
00:09:00,738 --> 00:09:03,172
It's just because
of an untested drug.
152
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,741
So what?
153
00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:06,209
There are no
guarantees in life.
154
00:09:06,277 --> 00:09:08,577
We don't know if this...
155
00:09:08,629 --> 00:09:09,912
knife is safe.
156
00:09:11,749 --> 00:09:13,182
Turns out it's not.
157
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:18,154
The point is, when I'm cranky,
nobody likes me, sweet pea.
158
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:22,725
Let me live as a happy man
for my remaining 30 years.
159
00:09:22,793 --> 00:09:25,662
Come on, come on,
make with the laffy juice.
160
00:09:25,729 --> 00:09:28,131
I want to take Grampa to have
his belly button pierced.
161
00:09:28,198 --> 00:09:29,949
I could hang
my Purple Heart from it.
162
00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:33,987
♪ Ya-da-dee-dee-dee,
la-da-da-da-da-da-da... ♪
163
00:09:34,054 --> 00:09:36,422
♪ Ya-da-dee-dee... ♪
♪ Do-do-do,
do-do-do-do... ♪
164
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:41,661
It was wrong
of me to play goddess.
165
00:09:58,612 --> 00:10:02,932
Everything everyone just said
is either obvious or wrong.
166
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,118
Homer, do something
about your dad.
167
00:10:05,185 --> 00:10:07,687
He's casting a pall over this
grim dungeon full of losers.
168
00:10:07,755 --> 00:10:09,305
Pfft! Dungeon?!
169
00:10:09,373 --> 00:10:10,656
We can leave
anytime we want.
170
00:10:12,276 --> 00:10:15,128
Homer, why don't you just make
some more of the serum yourself?
171
00:10:15,195 --> 00:10:18,564
Oh, because Lisa won't tell
me what flower it's from.
172
00:10:18,632 --> 00:10:19,766
Excuse me...
173
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:22,201
My name is Walther Hotenhoffer
174
00:10:22,269 --> 00:10:24,570
and I'm in
the pharmaceutical business.
175
00:10:24,638 --> 00:10:26,205
I was wondering
when that guy
176
00:10:26,273 --> 00:10:27,940
was gonna state his
name and occupation.
177
00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,258
Quiet!
178
00:10:29,326 --> 00:10:31,444
Sir, has your daughter
found a drug
179
00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:34,847
that renders old people
tolerable to us normals?
180
00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:37,150
Yeah, but Lisa won't
tell me how to make it.
181
00:10:37,217 --> 00:10:38,551
Lisa is irrelevant.
182
00:10:38,619 --> 00:10:40,119
You'd better elaborate.
183
00:10:40,187 --> 00:10:43,056
All I need is one
drop of extract,
184
00:10:43,123 --> 00:10:45,691
and I can synthesize
the drug at my plant.
185
00:10:45,759 --> 00:10:48,044
But where do I find
that drop?
186
00:10:49,279 --> 00:10:50,580
Nein...
187
00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:51,748
Nein...
188
00:10:51,815 --> 00:10:52,915
Nein...
189
00:10:52,983 --> 00:10:53,950
Nein...
190
00:10:54,017 --> 00:10:55,118
Aha!
191
00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,639
Not so fast, Fritz.
192
00:10:59,706 --> 00:11:03,042
Before you waltz off with my
grampa grease, I want to know--
193
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,845
what did you do
during the war?
194
00:11:05,913 --> 00:11:07,547
World War II?
195
00:11:07,614 --> 00:11:08,815
I wasn't born yet.
196
00:11:08,882 --> 00:11:12,552
Funny how many Germans
say that these days.
197
00:11:17,858 --> 00:11:19,192
Hmm?
198
00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:32,605
From that one droplet,
199
00:11:32,689 --> 00:11:35,891
I have synthesized
50 different compounds.
200
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:38,894
Please identify the one
that is ausgezeichnet.
201
00:11:38,946 --> 00:11:41,180
Nothing. Nothing.
202
00:11:41,248 --> 00:11:42,498
Can't feel my fingers.
203
00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:43,733
Feel 'em too much.
204
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,001
Erection.
205
00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:46,035
Derection.
206
00:11:46,103 --> 00:11:48,104
I smell music.
207
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:50,139
Oh, this'll never work.
208
00:11:50,207 --> 00:11:52,442
But when you're doing it
with people you love,
209
00:11:52,509 --> 00:11:55,311
you just can't help smiling.
210
00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,180
Jawohl.
211
00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:58,898
I've isolated the molecule.
212
00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:00,066
Nerd.
213
00:12:00,134 --> 00:12:03,152
Now we test him.
214
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,455
"How do you feel about
the high salaries
215
00:12:05,522 --> 00:12:07,924
of today's
baseball players?"
216
00:12:07,991 --> 00:12:10,793
Oh, don't get me
started on that one.
217
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,663
They're just plain better
than the greats of my day.
218
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:17,283
God bless them, and their
refusal to learn English.
219
00:12:19,887 --> 00:12:21,070
Huh?
220
00:12:21,138 --> 00:12:22,755
This one didn't
make me feel anything.
221
00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:25,625
D'oh!
222
00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:30,329
These are my "Suitcase Suzies,"
223
00:12:30,397 --> 00:12:32,882
who will use their beauty
and free giveaways
224
00:12:32,949 --> 00:12:35,551
to make sure our drug
is prescribed.
225
00:12:35,619 --> 00:12:37,119
Cool.
226
00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:38,554
Are they robots?
227
00:12:38,622 --> 00:12:41,290
No, robots can develop
human feelings.
228
00:12:41,358 --> 00:12:44,477
We're graduates
of Arizona State.
229
00:12:44,561 --> 00:12:47,413
We scoop them up
by the sorority.
230
00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:51,234
Uh... this is
the nerd fraternity.
231
00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:53,819
Drop them in research.
232
00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:56,272
Nice.
233
00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:59,975
Thank you for the tour
of your factory, Mr. Wonka.
234
00:13:00,027 --> 00:13:02,762
I am not Willy Wonka.
235
00:13:02,829 --> 00:13:03,963
No, no.
236
00:13:04,031 --> 00:13:06,032
You're Augustus Gloop,
the fat German boy.
237
00:13:06,099 --> 00:13:09,802
Ja, it is true, I am Gloop.
238
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:13,306
Being stuck in that tube
changed me in so many ways.
239
00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:16,709
Gentlemen, we've been doing
a lot of funny things today,
240
00:13:16,777 --> 00:13:19,145
but now I must be scary.
241
00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:22,815
Go ahead.
Here is the prototype of our pill.
242
00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:26,552
Grampapa, no one but you
should take this drug
243
00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:29,105
until it has been through
rigorous trials.
244
00:13:29,172 --> 00:13:31,974
Be careful-- if the wrong
hands got hold of it,
245
00:13:32,042 --> 00:13:33,776
a fortune could be made
246
00:13:33,844 --> 00:13:35,811
by selling this drug
on the black market.
247
00:13:35,879 --> 00:13:38,831
Hmm... wrong hands, eh?
248
00:13:38,899 --> 00:13:40,683
That's your cue, boys.
249
00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:46,138
You sell drugs.
250
00:13:46,206 --> 00:13:47,873
Why can't you
dress like that?
251
00:13:47,941 --> 00:13:49,675
Because I use them,
too, idiot.
252
00:13:56,288 --> 00:13:58,591
MRS. SKINNER: No wonder you've
still got pimples at your age.
253
00:13:58,635 --> 00:14:00,603
You got all this
candy in your desk.
254
00:14:00,671 --> 00:14:03,005
They're Tums,
for my acid reflux.
255
00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:04,907
Even your acid wants out of you.
256
00:14:08,278 --> 00:14:10,112
I got something to
stuff in that old bag.
257
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:16,986
Accursed tide.
258
00:14:17,054 --> 00:14:19,455
Flee from my wrath.
259
00:14:19,523 --> 00:14:22,942
No! I've been moistened!
260
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:25,344
I've got some junk to put
a smile on that corpse.
261
00:14:40,143 --> 00:14:41,210
Don't player hate.
262
00:14:41,278 --> 00:14:42,678
I'm just a businessboy.
263
00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:45,081
All right, Bart.
What are you up to now?
264
00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:03,549
Now that's what
I call a fishing trip.
265
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,434
That's what I
was gonna call it.
266
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:10,172
Wait, I can't go in there
grinning like a Swede on payday.
267
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,241
It'll rile up poor Lisa
268
00:15:12,309 --> 00:15:15,077
if she knows I'm still
popping that smiley-pill.
269
00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:16,946
Oh, yeah-- you better
"grump it up."
270
00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:31,594
Three dollars for
a cup of coffee?!
271
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:34,964
In my day it cost you a dime and
they gave you back a quarter.
272
00:15:35,032 --> 00:15:37,500
And another thing-- the, uh...
273
00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:40,403
It's okay, Grampa--
you don't have to act grumpy.
274
00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:41,771
I know you're
taking the drug,
275
00:15:41,838 --> 00:15:43,506
and I don't mind,
'cause you're happy.
276
00:15:43,574 --> 00:15:45,675
Oh! Thanks, sweetie.
277
00:15:45,742 --> 00:15:47,443
I'm sorry I was so stubborn.
278
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,178
I hope you're not mad.
279
00:15:49,246 --> 00:15:50,713
Oh, I ain't mad,
280
00:15:50,781 --> 00:15:52,949
and I never will be again--
281
00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,051
thanks to your
wonderful, wonderful...
282
00:15:57,988 --> 00:16:03,259
Let me finish: thanks to your
wonderful, wonderful drug.
283
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:12,833
It happened
to the scorpions, too.
284
00:16:12,901 --> 00:16:15,202
The flower essence
must have the side effect
285
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:17,905
of lubricating the eye sockets
to the point of popping.
286
00:16:17,973 --> 00:16:20,207
More saline, please.
287
00:16:20,275 --> 00:16:22,893
At some point, I think
we should see a doctor.
288
00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:25,996
No, it's cool-- it's like
we got our own monster.
289
00:16:26,064 --> 00:16:27,965
Your grandfather
is not a monster.
290
00:16:28,033 --> 00:16:29,850
Now, let's chain him
in the basement
291
00:16:29,918 --> 00:16:31,185
until the circus
comes to town.
292
00:16:31,269 --> 00:16:32,519
Sounds good.
293
00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:35,923
At least no one else
has taken this drug.
294
00:16:37,359 --> 00:16:39,593
Bart, why are you
tugging on your collar?
295
00:16:39,661 --> 00:16:41,779
It better be tonsillitis.
296
00:16:41,846 --> 00:16:43,480
Well, actually...
297
00:16:43,548 --> 00:16:47,518
I may have accidentally traded a
few of those pills for money...
298
00:16:48,653 --> 00:16:50,688
Which I may have already spent,
299
00:16:50,755 --> 00:16:53,090
ironically,
on these novelty eyeglasses.
300
00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,626
Howdy, handsome.
301
00:16:55,694 --> 00:16:56,827
Look!
302
00:17:04,753 --> 00:17:06,353
Ooh!
303
00:17:11,893 --> 00:17:13,327
Ooh, yeah, yeah.
304
00:17:13,395 --> 00:17:14,762
Who loves Mommy's eyeballs?
305
00:17:14,829 --> 00:17:16,964
Oh, there's a kitty
gonna sleep good tonight.
306
00:17:17,032 --> 00:17:18,332
Yes, you are.
307
00:17:22,804 --> 00:17:25,673
So, I guess we're all
in the same boat, huh?
308
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,241
Nein, nein.
309
00:17:27,309 --> 00:17:29,860
My boat is me
and hundreds of lawyers.
310
00:17:29,928 --> 00:17:32,212
Your boat has you
and a lot of people
311
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,914
with their eyes falling out.
312
00:17:33,999 --> 00:17:37,034
Walther, when a man puts
something on a Frisbee,
313
00:17:37,085 --> 00:17:38,519
he should stand by it.
314
00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:40,054
See?
315
00:17:40,121 --> 00:17:41,455
You are right.
316
00:17:41,523 --> 00:17:46,794
As always, the Frisbee is
the mirror to the soul.
317
00:17:46,861 --> 00:17:48,062
Mr. Hotenhoffer,
there's a mob outside.
318
00:17:48,129 --> 00:17:50,564
An angry mob?
319
00:17:50,632 --> 00:17:52,166
No, a cheerful mob.
320
00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:55,302
I'd like to have just one day
321
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:57,838
when I don't put
a gun to my head.
322
00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,777
Now, I ain't much
for speeches...
323
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:09,917
But we sure do appreciate
what you done for us,
324
00:18:09,984 --> 00:18:13,654
and, uh, we were just hoping
we could get more of that drug.
325
00:18:15,674 --> 00:18:16,940
Lots more.
326
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:21,645
Those poor googly-eyed fools.
327
00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:23,847
I cannot exploit them like this.
328
00:18:23,915 --> 00:18:26,750
I will have to be content
exploiting their fear
329
00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:28,786
of losing hair and penis.
330
00:18:28,853 --> 00:18:31,689
I will destroy the drug.
331
00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:33,490
What? Well, I never...
332
00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:36,560
Walther, let's
not be so hasty.
333
00:18:36,628 --> 00:18:38,762
Who would begrudge
them a few years
334
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,365
of shambling, dope-fogged,
into the grave?
335
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:45,002
Besides, our generation's got
everything under control.
336
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:47,187
Now, if you'll excuse me,
337
00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:49,073
I was supposed to be
drunk an hour ago.
338
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:50,574
To Moe's.
339
00:18:52,544 --> 00:18:54,361
Flat tires?
340
00:18:54,446 --> 00:18:55,779
No problem.
341
00:18:57,716 --> 00:18:58,866
Oh!
342
00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:01,235
Homer, use your head.
Just buy a new car.
343
00:19:01,302 --> 00:19:03,520
Great idea, but I don't
have any money.
344
00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:06,240
You could take out a loan
with your house as collateral.
345
00:19:06,307 --> 00:19:09,326
And I wouldn't have to pay it
back for three more years.
346
00:19:09,377 --> 00:19:11,428
What are the odds
of that much time happening?
347
00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:13,530
Pretty close
to zero, I'd say.
348
00:19:13,598 --> 00:19:15,065
Problem solved.
349
00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:17,501
Generation awesome
does it again.
350
00:19:17,569 --> 00:19:20,020
Boo-ya!
Oh, yes!
351
00:19:20,088 --> 00:19:22,606
All right,
you googly-eyed geezers,
352
00:19:22,673 --> 00:19:25,259
turn up your hearing aids--
I've got something to say.
353
00:19:27,112 --> 00:19:29,680
Together, we survived the
Depression, won a few wars
354
00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:31,682
and put a man on the moon.
355
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:34,985
In fact, the only mistake
our generation made
356
00:19:35,053 --> 00:19:37,237
was creating that generation.
357
00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:41,325
If we want to set
these bumblers straight,
358
00:19:41,392 --> 00:19:44,578
it's going to take all the
crankiness we can muster.
359
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:47,714
So put down those pills,
pop in your eyeballs
360
00:19:47,782 --> 00:19:50,184
and "upside-down" them smiles.
361
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,054
Let's do as he says.
362
00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:08,635
Wow, their "can-do"
363
00:20:08,703 --> 00:20:12,673
will bail out our
"won't-try" every time.
364
00:20:12,740 --> 00:20:15,609
So I guess the lesson here is...
365
00:20:15,677 --> 00:20:18,479
If you go on a field trip,
don't break off from the group.
366
00:20:18,546 --> 00:20:22,049
And if you are a fat little boy
in a chocolate factory,
367
00:20:22,116 --> 00:20:23,884
never try to drink
from the river.
368
00:20:23,952 --> 00:20:24,852
The tube.
369
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:25,886
My God.
370
00:20:25,954 --> 00:20:28,288
Every night I see the tube.
371
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:33,475
-- sync, corrected by elderman --
372
00:21:19,133 --> 00:21:20,333
Shh!