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00:00:51,783 --> 00:00:52,733
Ooh!
2
00:01:04,479 --> 00:01:05,879
D'oh!
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00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:20,310
Oh!
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00:01:20,335 --> 00:01:24,335
♪ The Simpsons 22x20 ♪
Homer Scissorhands
Original Air Date on May 8, 2011
5
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,360
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
6
00:01:31,974 --> 00:01:33,341
Mm!
7
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:58,834
Hey... huh?!
8
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,308
Lisa, this is going
too slow for me.
9
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,310
And I work at the DMV.
10
00:02:27,378 --> 00:02:28,678
Mind if we
take a nap?
11
00:02:28,746 --> 00:02:30,296
I'll have to make it
more neo-classical
12
00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:32,832
and less Mannerist, but okay.
13
00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:34,600
You say such
cute little...
14
00:02:37,771 --> 00:02:40,089
I jumped in front
of your picture.
15
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:41,391
Now it's ruined.
16
00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:44,043
Bart, this isn't a photograph.
17
00:02:44,111 --> 00:02:46,045
I'm not gonna
just paint you into my-- aw!
18
00:02:46,113 --> 00:02:48,848
You just ruined
six months' work!
19
00:02:48,916 --> 00:02:50,983
I'm really sorry
it wasn't a year.
20
00:02:52,569 --> 00:02:55,605
Aw! You're gonna regret
the day you were born.
21
00:02:55,672 --> 00:02:57,807
I already do.
It's too close to Christmas.
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00:02:57,875 --> 00:02:58,724
Ugh!
23
00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:10,787
Not to worry.
24
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,007
Now what?
25
00:03:15,075 --> 00:03:18,945
Bart, I'm afraid we need the
help of someone older and wiser.
26
00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:24,784
Oh, I get to enjoy this,
but I'm not responsible.
27
00:03:26,937 --> 00:03:29,806
Actually, Dad, as the
supervising parent today,
28
00:03:29,873 --> 00:03:31,240
you'll get your share
of the blame, too.
29
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:33,342
What do I do?
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00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:34,577
Patty's gonna kill me.
31
00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:35,995
Unless...
32
00:03:36,063 --> 00:03:38,030
I kill her first.
33
00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:40,366
I put the body in the car,
I dump the car in the lake,
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00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:42,468
I put a James Taylor CD
in the stereo
35
00:03:42,536 --> 00:03:44,170
so they think it's a suicide...
36
00:03:44,238 --> 00:03:46,539
Why don't you just cut the paint
out of her hair?
37
00:03:46,607 --> 00:03:49,725
Oh, fine, whatever.
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00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:53,012
I'll just keep cutting
till I hit something solid.
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00:03:57,651 --> 00:04:01,504
And now, to break the news
as gently as I know how.
40
00:04:01,572 --> 00:04:04,140
Wake-up-and-look-at-your-hair!
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00:04:06,043 --> 00:04:08,060
What happened to you?
42
00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:12,782
Whoa! Who undid my do?
43
00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:15,918
I didn't do diddily,
and certainly not squat.
44
00:04:15,986 --> 00:04:18,955
Hmm, actually,
it's kind of cute.
45
00:04:19,022 --> 00:04:21,057
You look like Posh Spice.
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00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:22,892
That's just what
I was going for.
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00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,810
I was going for Scary.
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00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:26,546
You did this?
49
00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:29,665
With your fat fingers and your
brain the size of a Superball?
50
00:04:34,338 --> 00:04:36,072
And stay out.
51
00:04:36,139 --> 00:04:39,141
I can't believe
I'm saying this...
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00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:40,943
Homer Simpson, do me.
53
00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:44,380
I meant my hair.
54
00:04:44,448 --> 00:04:46,199
Oh! Oh...
55
00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:47,099
Idiot.
56
00:04:50,454 --> 00:04:52,872
Milhouse, check it out.
57
00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,773
I put a roadblock
on the curly slide.
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00:04:57,661 --> 00:04:59,595
Isn't this the
greatest day ever?
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00:04:59,663 --> 00:05:02,632
There are
no more great days, Bart.
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00:05:02,716 --> 00:05:04,000
Just days.
61
00:05:04,084 --> 00:05:05,601
What's wrong, man?
62
00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:07,653
Something happened
last night.
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00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:11,390
Something that
really changed me.
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00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:14,477
My mom put in the
Finding Nemo DVD,
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00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:16,512
but then she got
a phone call.
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00:05:18,048 --> 00:05:19,582
So I started it myself.
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00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:24,020
Did you know it has a chapter
before chapter two?
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00:05:24,087 --> 00:05:27,156
A chapter where we meet
Nemo's mother.
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00:05:29,142 --> 00:05:30,526
Nemo doesn't
have a mother.
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00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:33,963
Not after Chapter One,
he doesn't.
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00:05:42,822 --> 00:05:47,093
If death can happen to a fish,
it can happen to anyone.
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00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,445
You've gotta live life
while you can.
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00:05:49,513 --> 00:05:53,182
So I'm gonna finally proclaim
my love for Lisa.
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00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:55,418
That's your take-away
from Nemo?
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00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,954
I think you've already made
your feelings for Lisa clear.
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00:05:58,021 --> 00:05:59,956
Well, I can make them
more clear.
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00:06:00,023 --> 00:06:01,691
You see, in the past,
I've been too subtle.
78
00:06:01,758 --> 00:06:04,060
It's my curse-- subtlety!
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00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:10,132
Homer, thanks to your
unlicensed barbery,
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00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,068
Patty and Selma have been
getting compliments
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00:06:12,135 --> 00:06:13,769
all day at the DMV.
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00:06:13,837 --> 00:06:15,404
You two look good.
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00:06:15,472 --> 00:06:17,139
Open-casket good.
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00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:18,374
Well!
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00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,344
I hear this is the home
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00:06:21,411 --> 00:06:22,912
of Springfield's hottest
hairdresser.
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00:06:22,996 --> 00:06:26,549
I need a haircut-- and I need
it in three, two, one, now.
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00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:28,117
Lady, I'm not a hairdresser.
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00:06:28,185 --> 00:06:31,103
I just put a new lid
on a couple of trashcans.
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00:06:34,341 --> 00:06:36,175
A hundred dollars?!
91
00:06:36,243 --> 00:06:38,477
Marge, how much is
that in smackaroos?
92
00:06:38,545 --> 00:06:39,879
One hundred.
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00:06:48,422 --> 00:06:50,373
Wow. Wow.
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00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,273
Wow!
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00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:02,251
Wow!
96
00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:05,321
Hello, airport piano bar.
97
00:07:05,389 --> 00:07:07,239
And it'll look good
in the morning, too.
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00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:09,575
Are you sure you
don't have a salon?
99
00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,877
Well, I open
a lot of crazy things
100
00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:14,363
when I'm drunk,
but I don't think so.
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00:07:14,431 --> 00:07:16,298
Too bad.
102
00:07:16,383 --> 00:07:18,534
Just call me
"Homer Fingerhands."
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00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:22,054
I'd rather call you by your
normal name, if that's okay.
104
00:07:22,105 --> 00:07:24,423
But I never knew you
were so good with hair.
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00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:28,394
Marge, when someone loses their
hair, they miss it the most.
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00:07:28,445 --> 00:07:31,147
It's like a beloved dog
that died on your head.
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00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:36,135
You better not be brushing
your hair again.
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00:07:36,203 --> 00:07:38,337
Uh, uh, no, I'm, uh...
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00:07:38,405 --> 00:07:40,039
just exploring my body.
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00:07:40,107 --> 00:07:41,957
You better be.
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00:07:42,025 --> 00:07:43,325
Oh, hair.
112
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:45,895
I'll love you
when you're old and gray.
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00:07:45,962 --> 00:07:47,196
Huh?
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00:07:47,264 --> 00:07:49,231
Well, two can play at that game.
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00:07:52,969 --> 00:07:57,073
Now that my soft,
chestnut mane is gone,
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00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,208
I dream of cutting hair,
styling hair,
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00:07:59,276 --> 00:08:02,978
making hair shorter
in exchange for money.
118
00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:05,147
Maybe I should open
a hair salon.
119
00:08:05,215 --> 00:08:08,718
Well, Newsweek magazine did say
it's good to change careers,
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00:08:08,785 --> 00:08:10,453
right after they laid off
all their editors.
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00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,071
Yeah.
122
00:08:12,139 --> 00:08:15,341
But what if I can't find any
commercial rental property?
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00:08:25,652 --> 00:08:29,572
I really thought people would
like to harvest their own honey.
124
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,107
Oh, how they hated it.
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00:08:37,573 --> 00:08:40,308
Attention, lovers of love.
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00:08:40,317 --> 00:08:42,151
Let it be known by all:
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00:08:42,219 --> 00:08:46,222
Lisa Simpson is
the smartest, sweetest,
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00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:49,325
most perfectest girl
in the whole world,
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00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:52,729
and I shall not rest
until I am her boyfriend.
130
00:08:54,415 --> 00:08:58,434
I know you like music, Lisa,
so I'm gonna perform a love song
131
00:08:58,502 --> 00:09:00,253
I wrote... for you.
132
00:09:03,324 --> 00:09:05,975
Oh yeah, it's a theremin.
133
00:09:09,013 --> 00:09:13,049
♪ Teacher said, don't
eat the paste ♪
134
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:16,786
♪ 'Tis apt to make you spew ♪
135
00:09:16,854 --> 00:09:20,790
♪ I ate the paste,
and liked the taste ♪
136
00:09:20,858 --> 00:09:24,093
♪ Passed out
and dreamed of you. ♪
137
00:09:24,161 --> 00:09:26,713
Okay--
first of all, it's never wise
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00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:28,614
to use the word "spew"
in a love song.
139
00:09:28,682 --> 00:09:32,285
♪ Lisa, Lisa, maid so fair ♪
140
00:09:32,353 --> 00:09:35,788
♪ With crimson dress
and pointy hair ♪
141
00:09:35,856 --> 00:09:40,226
♪ Do you mind
if I stop and stare ♪
142
00:09:40,294 --> 00:09:44,747
♪ Look in your mind
and I'm there. ♪
143
00:09:44,815 --> 00:09:45,948
Yeesh... Ew....
144
00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:48,885
So, Lisa, I love you.
145
00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:52,121
Is that love
"requited" or "un"?
146
00:09:52,189 --> 00:09:56,059
I'm sorry, but I don't love
you, Milhouse, and I never will.
147
00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:04,667
I thought that was beautiful.
148
00:10:06,437 --> 00:10:08,037
You did?
149
00:10:08,105 --> 00:10:11,507
Yeah. It was romantic
and it rhymed.
150
00:10:11,575 --> 00:10:14,644
Well, I used a rhyming
dictionary,
151
00:10:14,712 --> 00:10:17,046
but it only
gives you options.
152
00:10:17,114 --> 00:10:20,166
The job of the poet is to say,
"This one, I guess."
153
00:10:21,101 --> 00:10:22,235
I'm Taffy.
154
00:10:22,302 --> 00:10:24,871
Would you like to help me
roll the theremin
155
00:10:24,938 --> 00:10:26,806
back to the A.V. closet?
156
00:10:26,874 --> 00:10:28,207
It's a date.
157
00:10:30,711 --> 00:10:34,080
Hm! That theremin has paid
for itself again and again.
158
00:10:35,549 --> 00:10:38,484
All day long, Apu goes
on about Lady Gaga,
159
00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:41,254
who is doing nothing that
Rava Khatan was not doing
160
00:10:41,321 --> 00:10:44,891
20 years ago, while she was
a member of Parliament.
161
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,310
Oh, now, how could
someone as young as you
162
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:49,128
know about 20 years ago?
163
00:10:49,196 --> 00:10:52,131
Oh!
164
00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:56,119
Funny how my Timothy always
uses the short-form baptism
165
00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:57,937
when there's a basketball game
he wants to watch...
166
00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,205
The worst know-it-all!
I can't--
167
00:10:59,272 --> 00:11:00,490
Wears the same pants
for a month!
168
00:11:00,574 --> 00:11:02,008
I could just talk on and on!
169
00:11:08,715 --> 00:11:10,600
Homie, are you even
listening to me?
170
00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:13,453
Because I have
so much to tell you:
171
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,321
The mailman did
the other side of the street
172
00:11:15,389 --> 00:11:16,956
before our side.
173
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,025
Turns out it was
a substitute.
174
00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:20,860
I'm sorry, honey.
175
00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:23,996
All day long I have
to listen to women talk.
176
00:11:24,064 --> 00:11:25,932
Not a good time!
177
00:11:31,839 --> 00:11:33,840
Hey, Lise, those books aren't
gonna pick themselves up.
178
00:11:33,907 --> 00:11:35,575
Oh. Usually,
Milhouse does it.
179
00:11:35,642 --> 00:11:37,193
Hey, guys.
180
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,594
Uh, Lisa, you
dropped your books.
181
00:11:38,662 --> 00:11:40,029
When you pick 'em up,
182
00:11:40,097 --> 00:11:41,764
make sure you bend
your knees.
183
00:11:41,832 --> 00:11:45,301
You know so much about
body mechanics!
184
00:11:45,369 --> 00:11:48,704
Well, I've worn a lot of
different braces in my time.
185
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,541
This dame is
really into you!
186
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:53,176
She sure is.
187
00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:55,178
This morning I got
to second base...
188
00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:57,547
on our walk around
the softball diamond.
189
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,669
Why would a popular
fifth-grader like Taffy be
190
00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:05,571
interested in a Milhouse
like Milhouse?
191
00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:07,373
I dunno.
It's one of those mysteries,
192
00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:10,443
like how do my clothes get clean
and put back in my drawers?
193
00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:12,762
Well, I'm gonna find out
why, because this is...
194
00:12:14,665 --> 00:12:16,949
Knees, Lisa!
Knees!
195
00:12:18,606 --> 00:12:20,406
Mm-hmm. Oh, yes, right.
196
00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:21,787
Ooh, oh! Mm-hmm.
197
00:12:21,855 --> 00:12:24,807
I know Kirk resents
that the dog likes me more,
198
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:29,312
but Rex is just establishing
dominance over the weaker male.
199
00:12:29,379 --> 00:12:30,780
That's what
miniature dachshunds do.
200
00:12:30,848 --> 00:12:32,315
Oh, yeah.
201
00:12:32,382 --> 00:12:35,184
Men are such dogs,
and vice versa.
202
00:12:35,252 --> 00:12:36,986
Is there anyone in here
that just wants
203
00:12:37,054 --> 00:12:38,788
a haircut with
no chitchat?
204
00:12:38,856 --> 00:12:40,806
No, not me.
No.
205
00:12:40,874 --> 00:12:42,925
Hey, I don't want a
conversation.
206
00:12:42,993 --> 00:12:45,628
Oh?!
I just want you to listen
207
00:12:45,696 --> 00:12:47,847
while I talk about
the loser I'm married to.
208
00:12:59,726 --> 00:13:01,661
These are really good scissors.
209
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:07,233
All day long, they tell me
stupid, pointless,
210
00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:11,170
boring stories, and I have
to stand there listening
211
00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:13,973
with a phony grin
plastered on my face.
212
00:13:14,041 --> 00:13:15,041
Uh-huh.
213
00:13:15,108 --> 00:13:17,043
Well, Homer,
you're safe here.
214
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,878
You can forget everything
they said.
215
00:13:31,909 --> 00:13:33,209
When I look at you,
216
00:13:33,277 --> 00:13:36,012
all I see are the foibles that
drive your women crazy!
217
00:13:36,079 --> 00:13:38,781
Foibles! Foibles! Foibles!
218
00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:40,049
Calm down there, Homer.
219
00:13:42,419 --> 00:13:44,387
What got into him?
220
00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:46,672
The freaky ad campaign
they're running.
221
00:13:50,822 --> 00:13:54,341
Homer, can you make me
look fan-cy?
222
00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:56,176
Sorry, Sarah,
I'm retired.
223
00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:57,845
But tonight's
the Policemen's Ball!
224
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,513
And if you let
my Sarah down,
225
00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:02,700
I can make life
very difficult for you.
226
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,918
I'd like to see you try.
227
00:14:05,003 --> 00:14:07,004
Huh, where you goin'?
Excuse me.
228
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,255
Uh-uh-uh!
229
00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,423
Come on! Would you...?
No, no.
230
00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:10,824
Oh, buh!
231
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:13,694
I, uh, I can also make
very annoying noises.
232
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,537
Come on, bro,
don't hassle me!
233
00:14:24,873 --> 00:14:26,106
Stop that!
234
00:14:26,174 --> 00:14:27,975
Okay, okay, you win.
235
00:14:28,043 --> 00:14:30,644
I'll teach you how
to make love to your wife!
236
00:14:30,712 --> 00:14:32,029
What? No!
Just cut her hair!
237
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:33,364
Right.
238
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:38,585
Homer, I thought
you were gonna quit.
239
00:14:38,653 --> 00:14:39,987
I can't.
240
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:41,422
They won't let me.
241
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,924
Lenny, be a pal and
saw off my hands.
242
00:14:43,992 --> 00:14:45,609
Why don't you do here
what you do
243
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,678
at the nuclear plant--
namely, suck?
244
00:14:47,746 --> 00:14:49,046
Suck!
245
00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:50,514
Of course!
246
00:14:50,582 --> 00:14:52,349
So, I told Timothy
247
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:55,586
you cannot keep basing sermons
on old Seinfelds.
248
00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:00,991
Oh, my God.
249
00:15:01,059 --> 00:15:03,427
Like Mozart and
Johnny Knoxville,
250
00:15:03,495 --> 00:15:05,062
my genius cannot be stopped!
251
00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:09,900
Oh, there's only one way out!
252
00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:11,435
I'm committing Barbicide!
253
00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:18,592
Oh, why doesn't anything
kill me?
254
00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:24,331
Hmm...
255
00:15:24,399 --> 00:15:26,216
Hey, that's Taffy's page.
256
00:15:26,284 --> 00:15:29,019
Ooh, I see that she's in
a relationship.
257
00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:30,454
Shut up.
258
00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:32,956
I just want to know what
she's up to with Milhouse.
259
00:15:33,024 --> 00:15:35,159
A girl like her could get
a fifth-grader,
260
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,860
maybe even Kyle LoBianco!
261
00:15:38,747 --> 00:15:41,749
I hear he goes to California
on his vacations.
262
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,885
That's the first thing everyone
knows about Kyle LoBianco!
263
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:46,286
Taffy's up to something.
264
00:15:46,354 --> 00:15:49,356
And I won't find out what it is,
sitting at a computer.
265
00:15:49,424 --> 00:15:51,592
It's time
to get boots on the ground.
266
00:15:52,694 --> 00:15:55,596
You like my boots?
267
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,664
Once you get past the
sister ick, they're fine.
268
00:16:00,969 --> 00:16:04,371
Oh, my poor Homie.
269
00:16:06,541 --> 00:16:08,025
Marge, do you hear it?
270
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,259
Listen!
271
00:16:09,327 --> 00:16:10,827
It's the hair... growing!
272
00:16:10,879 --> 00:16:11,995
Always growing!
273
00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:15,132
Blonde, brunette,
auburn!
274
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,034
This ends now!
275
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,103
I need some highlights
for a bridal shower!
276
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,171
You can start with
the rinse! Shoo!
277
00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:23,006
Please?!
278
00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:24,308
I'll even buy... product!
279
00:16:30,218 --> 00:16:32,052
Here, my love.
280
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,971
Thank you.
281
00:16:34,022 --> 00:16:35,773
Anything for
my silly Milly.
282
00:16:41,446 --> 00:16:43,380
Who'd follow Milhouse around
like that?
283
00:16:43,448 --> 00:16:46,083
Sneaking around after them
all day has taught me
284
00:16:46,151 --> 00:16:48,285
a lot about this sicko.
285
00:16:48,353 --> 00:16:49,887
Evening.
286
00:16:56,878 --> 00:16:59,313
I am never gonna get
my homework done tonight.
287
00:17:08,974 --> 00:17:11,508
All right, sister,
what's your game?
288
00:17:13,261 --> 00:17:14,662
We're just trying
289
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,397
to put our relationship
back together.
290
00:17:16,464 --> 00:17:18,365
In the sack,
he's Salisbury steak,
291
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:21,535
everywhere else, creamed corn.
292
00:17:21,603 --> 00:17:23,637
I am so sorry.
293
00:17:27,058 --> 00:17:29,243
Lisa?
294
00:17:30,378 --> 00:17:32,580
Ugh!
Not her again.
295
00:17:32,647 --> 00:17:35,049
Yeah, Lisa,
can't you leave me alone?
296
00:17:35,116 --> 00:17:36,350
We're over.
297
00:17:36,418 --> 00:17:37,985
You're not over,
you never were!
298
00:17:38,053 --> 00:17:40,187
Milhouse,
you're a great guy,
299
00:17:40,255 --> 00:17:42,256
but we're not gonna work out
for one reason.
300
00:17:42,324 --> 00:17:44,625
Is it 'cause when
I wore cuffed pants
301
00:17:44,693 --> 00:17:46,126
they filled up
with leaves?
302
00:17:46,194 --> 00:17:48,929
That wasn't
a great day for us.
303
00:17:48,997 --> 00:17:52,499
But it's because you'll
always be in love with her.
304
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,235
He likes his
apple pie warm
305
00:17:54,302 --> 00:17:55,703
and his
a la mode cold.
306
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,638
Good luck.
307
00:17:57,722 --> 00:17:59,556
You don't want me
to be with you,
308
00:17:59,624 --> 00:18:01,992
you don't want me to be
with someone else.
309
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:05,562
How miserable do I have
to be before you're happy?
310
00:18:07,732 --> 00:18:11,485
Milhouse, I, I...
311
00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:16,807
Lisa, does this mean
you like me?
312
00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:18,275
Yes. No!
313
00:18:18,343 --> 00:18:20,411
I don't know!
It means that...
314
00:18:20,478 --> 00:18:22,579
that life is full
of unexpected things
315
00:18:22,647 --> 00:18:24,214
and you should
never give up.
316
00:18:24,282 --> 00:18:25,616
And you're cute in
the moonlight.
317
00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:27,051
Aah!
318
00:18:29,638 --> 00:18:32,840
Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
319
00:18:37,612 --> 00:18:40,848
Doctor and Mrs.
Julius Hibbert!
320
00:18:40,915 --> 00:18:44,468
Mr. Discotheque Stuart,
unaccompanied!
321
00:18:44,536 --> 00:18:47,638
My girlfriend
isn't feeling well tonight.
322
00:18:47,706 --> 00:18:52,960
Krusty the Clown and
Disco Stu's girlfriend!
323
00:18:53,028 --> 00:18:56,630
Mr. Homer J. and Mrs. Marge
Bouvier Simpson!
324
00:18:59,267 --> 00:19:02,569
Her hair!
325
00:19:02,637 --> 00:19:05,589
Move over, Lard Lad statue,
326
00:19:05,657 --> 00:19:08,625
it's the eighth wonder
of the Springfield world!
327
00:19:08,693 --> 00:19:11,028
You've outdone
yourself, Homer!
328
00:19:12,597 --> 00:19:15,099
Oh, yes, ladies,
I've outdone myself.
329
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:18,769
Outdone myself
by not doing it at all!
330
00:19:18,837 --> 00:19:20,604
Stop talking crazy talk!
331
00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:23,340
I'm afraid it's all too true.
332
00:19:23,408 --> 00:19:25,326
My wife has betrayed me...
333
00:19:25,393 --> 00:19:26,894
with another hairdresser!
334
00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:28,762
Another hairdresser?
335
00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:30,314
Who is it?
We must know!
336
00:19:30,365 --> 00:19:33,901
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Julio is my little secret!
337
00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:37,571
I've said too much!
338
00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:38,839
Julio?
339
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,407
That's right, ladies.
340
00:19:40,475 --> 00:19:43,193
And I never heard a complaint I
didn't sympathetically cluck to.
341
00:19:44,512 --> 00:19:45,763
That's how I roll.
342
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:48,332
Okay, first five customers
get a discount.
343
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,051
Next five hear secrets
about the first five.
344
00:19:51,136 --> 00:19:52,336
Come on, get in line.
345
00:19:54,255 --> 00:19:55,956
It worked perfectly.
346
00:19:56,024 --> 00:19:59,660
As if anyone but you could
make me feel this beautiful.
347
00:19:59,728 --> 00:20:01,061
Aw, sweetie,
thanks for saving me
348
00:20:01,129 --> 00:20:02,996
from the horrible life
349
00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:06,066
Warren Beatty lived
in Shampoo.
350
00:20:06,134 --> 00:20:08,635
Now it's time
to pay you back.
351
00:20:14,242 --> 00:20:17,111
Oh... ooh...
352
00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:20,280
Homie, you're making
my toes curl.
353
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:22,716
You sure know how
to please a woman.
354
00:20:22,784 --> 00:20:25,586
As long as it doesn't
355
00:20:25,670 --> 00:20:29,957
involve losing weight
or changing my pants.
356
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:36,263
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
357
00:21:19,339 --> 00:21:21,173
Shh!