1
00:00:03,488 --> 00:00:04,988
Ay-yi-yi!
2
00:00:19,189 --> 00:00:20,756
D'oh!
3
00:00:43,914 --> 00:00:44,914
♪ ...Show. ♪
4
00:00:46,817 --> 00:00:52,755
In these
d-d-dark t-times...
5
00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:15,912
Can't get enough
Itchy and Scratchy!
6
00:01:15,979 --> 00:01:18,047
And now it's time for...
7
00:01:18,115 --> 00:01:19,866
another Itchy and Scratchy?
8
00:01:19,933 --> 00:01:23,085
Who's the star of this show,
me or...?!
9
00:01:23,129 --> 00:01:27,129
♪ The Simpsons 23x08 ♪
The Ten-Per-Cent Solution
Original Air Date on December 4, 2011
10
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:31,154
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
11
00:01:38,001 --> 00:01:43,456
♪ When you were here before ♪
12
00:01:43,523 --> 00:01:49,428
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye ♪
13
00:01:49,496 --> 00:01:52,398
Why is my show all cartoons?!
14
00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,016
And all the movies
they're making fun of
15
00:01:54,084 --> 00:01:55,484
are over a year old.
16
00:01:55,552 --> 00:01:57,053
It's like those parodies
were written
17
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,989
when the movies came out, but
it took so long to animate them
18
00:02:00,057 --> 00:02:01,457
that we look dated and hacky.
19
00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:02,458
Why can't we...?!
20
00:02:16,573 --> 00:02:17,940
Kids, that's
enough TV.
21
00:02:18,008 --> 00:02:19,742
Maggie's eye is
starting to wander.
22
00:02:22,529 --> 00:02:24,363
- Mom, what are you doing?!
- What a rip!
23
00:02:24,431 --> 00:02:25,865
No more TV.
24
00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:27,617
We're gonna get some fresh air
25
00:02:27,684 --> 00:02:30,569
and visit the Museum...
of Television.
26
00:02:30,637 --> 00:02:32,371
Why can't we visit
a real museum?
27
00:02:32,439 --> 00:02:33,873
One that doesn't
have the skeletons
28
00:02:33,941 --> 00:02:35,608
of the Three Stooges
in the lobby.
29
00:02:35,676 --> 00:02:38,878
We have to see the Museum of TV
before next Wednesday
30
00:02:38,946 --> 00:02:40,613
when it closes forever.
31
00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:42,098
It's closing?!
32
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:44,667
But where will people
find clips of old TV shows
33
00:02:44,735 --> 00:02:46,836
if they're not housed
in a giant building?
34
00:02:46,903 --> 00:02:48,154
Where? Where?!
35
00:02:54,828 --> 00:02:55,728
Ay, caramba!
36
00:03:02,369 --> 00:03:04,036
(King of the Hill theme
playing)
37
00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:16,148
Hmm, they're selling off
all the old TV relics.
38
00:03:18,385 --> 00:03:19,652
Whoa!
39
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,287
The gun Sheriff Baby wore!
40
00:03:21,355 --> 00:03:22,705
Hmm.
41
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,325
Bart!
42
00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:29,228
Thank God I had this
in my pocket.
43
00:03:36,203 --> 00:03:39,071
Oh, my pants are
splitting wide open.
44
00:03:39,139 --> 00:03:43,175
And people will see my tattoo
of Donald Duck smoking a doob!
45
00:03:43,243 --> 00:03:45,144
That was for
Marge's eyes only.
46
00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:49,115
Oh, my God!
47
00:03:49,182 --> 00:03:50,766
Fatso Flanagan!
48
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,935
Who's Fatso Flanagan?
49
00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:56,005
Only the funniest
black-and-white man ever.
50
00:03:56,073 --> 00:03:58,641
Isn't that just a rip-off
of The Honeymooners?
51
00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:01,010
Everything's a rip-off
of The Honeymooners.
52
00:04:01,078 --> 00:04:03,746
Margie, you're the greatest.
53
00:04:03,814 --> 00:04:07,550
Oh, Ralph, Fred,
Archie, King of Queens,
54
00:04:07,617 --> 00:04:08,934
I mean Homer.
55
00:04:10,504 --> 00:04:11,670
You'll see, Eunice.
56
00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:13,839
I'm gonna win
the Irish Sweepstakes,
57
00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:16,242
and then I'm buying you
a mink coat.
58
00:04:18,011 --> 00:04:19,145
Are you getting excited?
59
00:04:19,212 --> 00:04:20,179
No.
60
00:04:20,247 --> 00:04:22,415
That's me not holding my breath.
61
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,051
Just you wait, Eunice.
62
00:04:25,118 --> 00:04:26,052
Just you wait.
63
00:04:26,119 --> 00:04:28,521
Ka-chik, kaboom, ka-splatter!
64
00:04:28,588 --> 00:04:30,656
See your grave there?
65
00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:38,664
They were so childless
and miserable.
66
00:04:38,732 --> 00:04:40,533
The size 48s.
67
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,268
That's when he was the funniest.
68
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:43,502
How would you know?
69
00:04:43,570 --> 00:04:45,471
I was Fatso's agent.
70
00:04:45,539 --> 00:04:47,039
Annie Dubinsky.
71
00:04:47,107 --> 00:04:50,209
If you ever hear a star's name
and wonder, is he dead?
72
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:52,945
The answer is either
I represent him or yes.
73
00:04:53,013 --> 00:04:55,364
Now, let me ask you something:
is there a place for
74
00:04:55,432 --> 00:04:58,567
an old-fashioned lard-ass
like me on today's television?
75
00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:02,321
Um, would you play a
bloated corpse on CSI?
76
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,639
Would I?!
77
00:05:05,659 --> 00:05:08,060
Wow, that's good
bloat work!
78
00:05:08,128 --> 00:05:10,346
He always comes back
really religious.
79
00:05:11,948 --> 00:05:14,650
You're killing me here
with this Catchy and Patchy.
80
00:05:14,718 --> 00:05:16,452
I'm barely on my own show.
81
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,921
Today's kids are uncomfortable
with a clown
82
00:05:18,989 --> 00:05:21,791
whose every reference they have
to look up on Wikipedia.
83
00:05:21,858 --> 00:05:24,493
Wikipedia, Twitter--
who names these things?
84
00:05:24,561 --> 00:05:26,061
Percy Dovetonsils?
85
00:05:28,198 --> 00:05:29,598
Get it?
86
00:05:29,666 --> 00:05:34,036
Come on, he was on Ernie Kovacs
with a smoking jacket...
87
00:05:35,238 --> 00:05:36,138
Krusty,
88
00:05:36,206 --> 00:05:38,240
we want to make some changes.
89
00:05:38,308 --> 00:05:39,975
What kind of changes?
90
00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:43,712
Krusty, um, this is never easy,
91
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,381
but you're fired.
92
00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:47,049
Oh, that was easy.
93
00:05:47,117 --> 00:05:48,417
Oh, no!
94
00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,719
My contract states
there's only one way
95
00:05:50,787 --> 00:05:52,321
you're allowed to fire me!
96
00:05:54,941 --> 00:05:57,076
Yep, everything's
nice and legal!
97
00:06:01,364 --> 00:06:02,898
Could this be
more awkward?
98
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:09,038
They took my dressing room, my
parking space, even my writer,
99
00:06:09,105 --> 00:06:11,006
so I don't have a
funny third item.
100
00:06:11,074 --> 00:06:15,177
But at least I got you,
my agent and best friend.
101
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,781
Krustila, I'm gonna
drop you as a friend first,
102
00:06:18,849 --> 00:06:20,683
so that when I drop you
as a client,
103
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:22,051
you'll know it's only business.
104
00:06:22,118 --> 00:06:23,886
But we shared everything!
105
00:06:23,954 --> 00:06:26,155
Boats, girlfriends, condos.
106
00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:29,592
And when I finished, every one
of them was spic and span.
107
00:06:29,659 --> 00:06:31,894
Krusty, I'm gonna prove
that it's over.
108
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,996
What? I'm on
your garage door opener?
109
00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:35,931
It's a smartphone,
you out-of-it hack.
110
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:43,889
Little help?
111
00:06:43,957 --> 00:06:46,942
This only shuts the door.
112
00:06:48,745 --> 00:06:52,248
So, what was everyone's
favorite moment at the museum?
113
00:06:52,315 --> 00:06:54,483
I liked the
knowledgeable docents.
114
00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,819
I liked the early
closing time.
115
00:06:58,255 --> 00:06:59,255
Krusty?
116
00:06:59,322 --> 00:07:01,991
Fate is so cruel.
117
00:07:02,058 --> 00:07:05,778
This morning I was a star,
with a top agent.
118
00:07:05,845 --> 00:07:08,547
Now I'm strung out
in a ball pit!
119
00:07:10,617 --> 00:07:11,951
Go away.
120
00:07:12,018 --> 00:07:14,987
No kid should see
his hero sunk so low.
121
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:16,789
Well, you're not
exactly my hero.
122
00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:18,624
I see you more as
a cautionary tale.
123
00:07:18,692 --> 00:07:20,059
What?!
124
00:07:20,126 --> 00:07:21,760
I'll show you
who's a cautionary tale.
125
00:07:23,196 --> 00:07:25,331
I'll show everybody!
126
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:30,469
You're not licked,
Krusty.
127
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:31,937
People love a comeback.
128
00:07:32,005 --> 00:07:34,607
Look at Robert Downey Jr.,
Mickey Rourke.
129
00:07:34,674 --> 00:07:37,009
I don't know if
I got it in me.
130
00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:38,844
Well, people also
love a quitter--
131
00:07:38,912 --> 00:07:40,746
Sarah Palin, The Beatles...
132
00:07:40,814 --> 00:07:42,915
Eh, it's hopeless
without an agent.
133
00:07:42,983 --> 00:07:44,116
You need an agent?
134
00:07:44,184 --> 00:07:45,784
We met a ten percenter today.
135
00:07:45,852 --> 00:07:47,586
She'll get you meetings
with the eye,
136
00:07:47,654 --> 00:07:49,188
the peacock,
the alphabet web.
137
00:07:49,256 --> 00:07:51,657
You'll have a skein on the sked
before you can say
138
00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:54,860
"Krusty's wardrobe furnished by
Ha-Has of Beverly Hills."
139
00:07:54,928 --> 00:07:56,495
A new agent?!
140
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,646
I better freshen up.
141
00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:04,820
Also better get back on
those anti-psychotic meds.
142
00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:09,925
Oh, this is a bad sign.
143
00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:11,961
I've been to classier
gas stations.
144
00:08:13,697 --> 00:08:15,431
I know that laugh!
145
00:08:15,498 --> 00:08:17,533
It's the laugh of
the most ungrateful,
146
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,034
credit-grabbing,
147
00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:21,937
other-people's-room-service-
eating man that I ever met.
148
00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:25,674
I will never forgive you
for what you did to me.
149
00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:28,210
Krusty, you know her?
150
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:32,925
Ms. Dubinsky,
can you please just tell us
151
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:33,960
why you hate Krusty?
152
00:08:34,027 --> 00:08:36,078
Come on in.
153
00:08:36,146 --> 00:08:38,030
It's a long story.
154
00:08:38,115 --> 00:08:40,116
Oh, now
I hate him, too.
155
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,034
It was the mid '60s.
156
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:44,470
I was a virgin agent,
157
00:08:44,538 --> 00:08:46,939
looking for a first client
or a fourth husband.
158
00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:48,324
And then I saw him.
159
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:49,592
Hey-hey.
160
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,093
Scary world.
161
00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:53,930
They start with the A-bomb,
then skip right to the H-bomb.
162
00:08:53,997 --> 00:08:56,132
These geniuses can
blow up the planet,
163
00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:57,550
but they don't know
the alphabet.
164
00:09:01,772 --> 00:09:03,472
I knew he could be big.
165
00:09:03,524 --> 00:09:05,141
He just needed
some savvy fingers
166
00:09:05,192 --> 00:09:07,994
to mold his clay into an Ali.
167
00:09:09,213 --> 00:09:11,781
Herschel, you killed
them tonight!
168
00:09:11,849 --> 00:09:14,984
There wasn't a
dry turtleneck in the house.
169
00:09:15,052 --> 00:09:16,552
But mark my words:
170
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,554
the bohemian crowd
is small potatoes.
171
00:09:18,622 --> 00:09:20,456
You're gonna have to
broaden your act
172
00:09:20,524 --> 00:09:22,225
if you want to play in Peoria.
173
00:09:22,292 --> 00:09:23,759
I don't want
to play in Peoria.
174
00:09:23,827 --> 00:09:26,429
They're always doing
construction on Highway 74.
175
00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:29,498
I mean, if you want to hit it
big, you got to lose this...
176
00:09:32,102 --> 00:09:34,003
stick this on...
177
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:38,040
and make your comedy
a touch more physical.
178
00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:39,342
How do I do that?
179
00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:40,826
Like so.
180
00:09:48,468 --> 00:09:49,769
Wow.
181
00:09:49,836 --> 00:09:52,655
This is the best kind of
comedy of all: cheap!
182
00:09:52,723 --> 00:09:55,975
Herschel, you are gonna get
everything you want:
183
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:57,493
money and women...
184
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,161
There's only one
thing I want:
185
00:09:59,229 --> 00:10:01,180
ice for my ding-dong!
186
00:10:01,248 --> 00:10:02,748
And you.
187
00:10:02,816 --> 00:10:05,251
Every night, he had them
rolling in the aisles,
188
00:10:05,335 --> 00:10:07,520
followed by a roll
in the hey-hey with me.
189
00:10:14,244 --> 00:10:16,979
This is the part where I get
the kids out of the room.
190
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:18,381
Oh, grow up.
191
00:10:18,448 --> 00:10:21,350
Today's kids are less sensitive
than an army condom.
192
00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:24,620
They see more on TV than my
mother did on her wedding night.
193
00:10:24,688 --> 00:10:27,356
And they don't complain about it
for the next 50 years.
194
00:10:27,424 --> 00:10:30,693
I got big plans
for us, Krusty.
195
00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:32,295
This is just
the beginning.
196
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:34,563
Actually, sweetheart,
it's the end.
197
00:10:34,631 --> 00:10:37,667
I'm leaving you for Ron
Rabinowitz at United Parasites.
198
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:40,069
You waited until now
to tell me that?!
199
00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:42,605
I can only tell the truth
right after sex.
200
00:10:42,673 --> 00:10:44,874
But all during sex
I was thinking it.
201
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:45,975
Get out!
202
00:10:47,911 --> 00:10:49,946
You ungrateful pig!
203
00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:51,814
I made you!
204
00:10:51,882 --> 00:10:54,817
Deep down, I'm doing this
to get back at my father.
205
00:10:54,885 --> 00:10:56,185
Don't blame
this on me.
206
00:10:56,253 --> 00:10:57,920
Your childhood
was heaven.
207
00:10:59,439 --> 00:11:01,107
I was so mad at him
208
00:11:01,174 --> 00:11:03,709
I didn't have sex with a clown
for five months.
209
00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:04,877
What about mimes?
210
00:11:04,945 --> 00:11:06,846
Come on.
I'm not made of stone.
211
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:11,117
Annie, would you ever consider
taking Krusty back as a client?
212
00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:14,120
No! Absolutely not!
213
00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:16,589
Trust with me is
like a candle.
214
00:11:16,657 --> 00:11:19,258
When you blow it out,
it's gone for good.
215
00:11:19,326 --> 00:11:20,893
What about a comedy candle?
216
00:11:20,961 --> 00:11:23,262
You know, that relights itself?
217
00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:25,097
I don't find those funny,
just frustrating.
218
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:26,299
They're pretty funny.
219
00:11:26,366 --> 00:11:27,800
Once, I used one on Milhouse.
220
00:11:27,868 --> 00:11:30,102
He was wishing for his parents
to get back together,
221
00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,504
but the flame never went out.
222
00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:34,390
Good one, boy.
223
00:11:34,458 --> 00:11:37,393
Annie, I'm down on
my rebuilt knee.
224
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:40,029
Can't you forgive me?
Please?
225
00:11:40,097 --> 00:11:42,565
For the sake of me
getting what I want?
226
00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:48,304
Fine.
But no nonsense.
227
00:11:48,372 --> 00:11:49,739
Except, of course,
during working hours,
228
00:11:49,806 --> 00:11:51,407
then it's all nonsense.
229
00:11:52,209 --> 00:11:53,809
Great. So we're booked
230
00:11:53,877 --> 00:11:57,013
for three weeks in June
at the Springfield Playhouse.
231
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,716
I promise you Krusty will show
up on time or sober.
232
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:03,019
Yeah, that's right, I said "or."
233
00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:05,104
Let me get this straight:
234
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:07,473
you want me
to do my kids' show for adults?
235
00:12:07,541 --> 00:12:10,042
They're gonna want F-bombs and
all I can give 'em is
236
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,844
"ca-ca" and "ta-tas."
237
00:12:11,912 --> 00:12:15,247
Krusty, there is nothing people
love more than the things
238
00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:16,482
they loved when they were kids.
239
00:12:16,550 --> 00:12:19,251
So you re-create
your show for adults!
240
00:12:19,319 --> 00:12:21,487
It worked like magic
for Pee-Wee Herman
241
00:12:21,555 --> 00:12:23,022
after his setback.
242
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,757
What did he get in trouble for?
243
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:27,960
That's all?!
244
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:30,429
I did that while
you were on the phone!
245
00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:37,036
You know, I'm
a little nervous
246
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,038
about doing
live theater again.
247
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,340
Come on. Didn't you do
your TV show in front
248
00:12:41,408 --> 00:12:42,875
of an audience
for years?
249
00:12:42,943 --> 00:12:45,678
Yeah, but they were kids and we
gave 'em candy if they laughed.
250
00:12:45,746 --> 00:12:46,846
And if they didn't,
251
00:12:46,913 --> 00:12:49,482
until the '70s,
I hit 'em with a stick.
252
00:12:49,549 --> 00:12:51,917
Some jerk tracked down the kids
and made a documentary.
253
00:12:51,985 --> 00:12:54,253
It's called Circus of Shame
or something.
254
00:12:56,022 --> 00:12:58,324
And now, let's welcome a man
255
00:12:58,392 --> 00:13:03,729
the Spanish call "Señor No-Fun":
Krusty the Clown!
256
00:13:03,797 --> 00:13:05,865
Hey-hey, kids!
257
00:13:05,932 --> 00:13:07,767
Hey-hey, Krusty!
258
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:09,935
Who here likes nostalgia?
259
00:13:11,304 --> 00:13:13,339
Everything's perfect
about the past
260
00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:15,040
except how it led
to the present.
261
00:13:15,108 --> 00:13:18,994
Then welcome back the original
Tick-Tock the Clock!
262
00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:21,480
Would that I could
turn back time
263
00:13:21,565 --> 00:13:23,783
and never play this
career-killing role.
264
00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:29,121
Ooh, looks like Tick-Tock is
telling us it's time for...
265
00:13:29,189 --> 00:13:31,924
What's In Krusty's Pocket?!
266
00:13:31,992 --> 00:13:34,360
Mmm. Ah!
267
00:13:44,871 --> 00:13:47,373
I've pulled out everything
but my Little Krusty.
268
00:13:47,441 --> 00:13:50,376
Aw, what the heck?
269
00:13:54,514 --> 00:13:56,182
Oh, that was great, man!
270
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:58,467
I feel like I'm
ten again!
271
00:13:58,535 --> 00:14:00,286
Everything I loved
as a kid
272
00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:03,088
and hated as a teenager
I love as an adult!
273
00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:05,007
No one knows better
than me
274
00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:07,643
that it's "Here today,
gone tomorrow."
275
00:14:07,711 --> 00:14:10,379
But I'm here today!
276
00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:12,281
Thanks to you, honey!
277
00:14:12,349 --> 00:14:14,250
Mmm... mwa!
278
00:14:14,317 --> 00:14:15,918
Uh, um, sorry...
279
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:17,720
This one, I think,
is mine.
280
00:14:17,787 --> 00:14:19,088
Yeah, I'll take that...
281
00:14:19,156 --> 00:14:20,189
I'll, give me
that one.
282
00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:21,690
Well, that looks
better on you, honey.
283
00:14:21,758 --> 00:14:23,392
Yeah.
No, no, no, it screams you.
284
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:24,426
Let's just keep smooching
285
00:14:24,494 --> 00:14:26,395
till everything sorts
itself out.
286
00:14:26,463 --> 00:14:27,429
Mmm... I'm done.
287
00:14:29,013 --> 00:14:32,065
Krusty, you're getting
the best reviews of your career!
288
00:14:32,594 --> 00:14:34,695
Yep! I'm back on top!
289
00:14:34,762 --> 00:14:38,599
And this time I'm not blowing it
on cocaine for my horses.
290
00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:41,735
They start well, then they get
paranoid around the third turn.
291
00:14:41,803 --> 00:14:43,871
And you'll have plenty
to invest.
292
00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:46,139
The networks have
come crawling.
293
00:14:46,207 --> 00:14:47,708
Which ones? Telebozo?
294
00:14:47,775 --> 00:14:50,310
Shtick at Nite? E.S.P.U.?
295
00:14:50,378 --> 00:14:51,979
Better, baby.
296
00:14:52,046 --> 00:14:54,047
Our premium cable network is
a little different
297
00:14:54,115 --> 00:14:55,616
from what you're used to.
298
00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,751
Our brand is classy
and upscale.
299
00:14:57,819 --> 00:15:00,854
And we pay for everything
with soft porno and boxing.
300
00:15:00,922 --> 00:15:03,857
Wait a minute.
There's soft porno?
301
00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:05,826
And here you don't have
to worry about budgets,
302
00:15:05,894 --> 00:15:07,361
and the critics are
in our pocket.
303
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,962
en the Boston Phoenix?
304
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:11,481
If not, we'll burn it
to the ground!
305
00:15:11,549 --> 00:15:13,634
And that will be the end
of that phoenix.
306
00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:17,688
All good. I just have one
non-negotiable demand:
307
00:15:17,755 --> 00:15:21,725
This brass begonia here is
my producer now
308
00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:24,011
until the end of time.
309
00:15:24,078 --> 00:15:25,612
Really?
Yep.
310
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,081
And you know
that anything said
311
00:15:28,149 --> 00:15:31,451
at a network pitch meeting
can be taken to the bank.
312
00:15:35,924 --> 00:15:37,691
♪ ♪
313
00:15:44,382 --> 00:15:46,416
Krusty, my man,
you finally hit it big.
314
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:47,801
You said it!
315
00:15:47,869 --> 00:15:50,537
The Entourage actors are
now my interns!
316
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:51,788
I got your coffees,
Mr. K.!
317
00:15:51,856 --> 00:15:53,373
Too hot!
318
00:15:53,441 --> 00:15:54,424
Too cold!
319
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,228
Genius!
320
00:15:58,296 --> 00:15:59,496
No, no, no!
321
00:15:59,564 --> 00:16:01,114
What, are you crazy?!
322
00:16:01,182 --> 00:16:02,933
You can't put
a green wall behind
323
00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:04,735
a clown with green hair!
324
00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:06,069
Beloved entertainer...
325
00:16:06,154 --> 00:16:07,137
sad old man!
326
00:16:07,205 --> 00:16:08,605
Beloved entertainer...
327
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:10,190
sad old man!
328
00:16:10,258 --> 00:16:14,144
He ain't changing, so everything
else in the world has to!
329
00:16:14,212 --> 00:16:15,946
Annie, it's your
first day on the set.
330
00:16:16,014 --> 00:16:18,198
Scream something nice.
331
00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:21,067
Krusty, I am here to serve
you and no one else.
332
00:16:21,119 --> 00:16:24,321
"Nice" gets booked
at birthday parties!
333
00:16:24,389 --> 00:16:26,990
Hey, birthday parties got me
through some tough times.
334
00:16:27,058 --> 00:16:29,793
For years I lived on
piñata candy!
335
00:16:29,861 --> 00:16:32,963
Yeah? Well, from now on
the only birthday parties
336
00:16:33,031 --> 00:16:34,965
you are gonna do are
for the insane sons
337
00:16:35,033 --> 00:16:37,000
of rich Middle Eastern
dictators.
338
00:16:37,068 --> 00:16:38,902
Your going rate is 100
barrels of oil.
339
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,271
Whoa, that's Beyoncé volume.
340
00:16:54,268 --> 00:16:56,937
Wait one hairy, banana-peeling,
scene-stealing minute here!
341
00:16:57,005 --> 00:16:58,038
Wha...?
What'd I do?
342
00:16:58,106 --> 00:16:59,740
Whose show is this?
Huh? Huh?!
343
00:16:59,807 --> 00:17:01,208
Whose name is on
that sign?!
344
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:05,045
Yeah, that's right,
little buddy boy!
345
00:17:05,113 --> 00:17:06,179
Krusty! Krusty!
346
00:17:06,247 --> 00:17:08,582
And don't you ever
upstage him
347
00:17:08,650 --> 00:17:10,851
or craft service will be
serving chimp tacos!
348
00:17:12,136 --> 00:17:14,371
Yeah, I'd like to squeeze
a lime on that!
349
00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:20,861
Now apologize to Krusty!
350
00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:25,766
Not so hard.
351
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,834
She'll know
we have a past.
352
00:17:27,902 --> 00:17:29,987
What's going on,
yanking me out of my schvitz?!
353
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:31,972
I look like an unwrapped mummy.
354
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,374
Ooh! Idea for sketch:
rapping mummy.
355
00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:36,510
Notorious T-U-T.
It writes itself.
356
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,944
Find someone to write it.
357
00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:39,079
Where's Annie?
358
00:17:39,147 --> 00:17:40,831
Annie is what we need
to discuss.
359
00:17:40,898 --> 00:17:42,399
She's out of control.
360
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,968
She called a network
vice president "unhip."
361
00:17:45,036 --> 00:17:47,487
And he reads GQ
and he's straight.
362
00:17:47,555 --> 00:17:49,589
And recently
we had this incident.
363
00:17:49,657 --> 00:17:52,592
Wait!
What are you doing?!
364
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:53,977
She claimed this intern
365
00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:55,812
sharpened her pencil
"too pointy."
366
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,249
Oh, I see what's
going on here:
367
00:17:59,317 --> 00:18:01,718
if a woman does it,
she's a bitch.
368
00:18:01,786 --> 00:18:04,454
But in a man, those traits would
be considered...
369
00:18:04,522 --> 00:18:05,305
Uh-oh!
370
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:11,762
That hallway looks
familiar.
371
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,547
I'm only getting
college credit for this!
372
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,631
My legs!
373
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,748
Wow, I can't believe
we're in the audience
374
00:18:19,749 --> 00:18:21,217
of a pay-cable show!
375
00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:25,455
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
Krusty's favorite part
376
00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:28,425
of the taping: talking to the
audience before the show.
377
00:18:28,492 --> 00:18:31,344
Hey-how-are-ya-don't-talk-to-me
-the-show's-starting.
378
00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:37,884
And now... the clown
that never lets you down...
379
00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:42,455
Krusty the... Clown!
380
00:18:44,675 --> 00:18:47,711
Hey, hey, premium cable
subscribers!
381
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:52,082
Tonight we've got the cast of
the hit Boardwalk Vampire!
382
00:18:52,149 --> 00:18:54,784
We've also got Janeane Garofolo.
383
00:18:54,852 --> 00:18:56,152
Wait a minute!
384
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:58,722
We have very specific
language in our contract
385
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:02,359
saying "No guests who are
funnier than Krusty."
386
00:19:02,426 --> 00:19:05,228
Janeane has promised to be
strictly angry and polemical.
387
00:19:05,296 --> 00:19:07,697
And I'll keep my promise,
like Obama did with Guantanamo.
388
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,369
Oh! That's funnier
than I can ever hope to be!
389
00:19:12,436 --> 00:19:15,205
Sorry, Janeane.
Grab some shrimp and go.
390
00:19:15,273 --> 00:19:17,707
You can fill
your stupid beret once.
391
00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:21,194
Burn on you! I brought
my expandable beret!
392
00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:24,664
Krusty, this is
exactly the kind of meddling
393
00:19:24,732 --> 00:19:26,666
that only we're allowed to do.
394
00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:28,285
Fire her as we discussed!
395
00:19:28,352 --> 00:19:29,753
Don't make us
threaten you.
396
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:31,488
Krusty?!
397
00:19:31,555 --> 00:19:32,756
What did you tell them?
398
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,125
Oh, I, I did that laugh
that people interpret
399
00:19:35,192 --> 00:19:36,159
any way they want.
400
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,830
I thought that laugh meant
"I love you."
401
00:19:40,898 --> 00:19:43,066
It can...
402
00:19:43,134 --> 00:19:44,668
Well, there's no room
for waffling anymore.
403
00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:46,603
You're with me
forever or never.
404
00:19:46,671 --> 00:19:47,621
Which is it?
405
00:19:47,688 --> 00:19:49,789
What, uh, when you said...
406
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:52,959
I'm paying extra
for this channel?
407
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:55,428
Hasn't been good since
The Wire. Ah, who am I kidding?
408
00:19:55,496 --> 00:19:56,896
I never watched The Wire.
409
00:19:56,964 --> 00:19:59,499
Had to bluff my way through
so many conversations.
410
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:00,800
Well, Annie,
411
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:04,587
I think you know my answer.
412
00:20:04,655 --> 00:20:09,476
Wow, Krusty, adjusting
for age, that was amazing!
413
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:12,078
Hey, hey.
And the best thing is
414
00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:16,132
I kept my word
and I got a new show.
415
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,202
Sex over 60: The Mechanics
of the Impossible. Take two!
416
00:20:24,906 --> 00:20:27,040
Is it over?
Can I open my eyes?
417
00:20:27,108 --> 00:20:31,302
Hey, come on, wake up.
418
00:20:31,303 --> 00:20:35,303
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
419
00:21:14,544 --> 00:21:16,444
- Shh!
- Oh, grow up!