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00:00:45,414 --> 00:00:46,981
D'oh!
2
00:00:49,935 --> 00:00:52,170
♪
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00:00:52,195 --> 00:00:55,695
♪ The Simpsons 23x11 ♪
The D'oh-cial Network
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
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00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,220
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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00:01:07,369 --> 00:01:09,137
D'oh!
6
00:01:26,438 --> 00:01:27,939
So what are we doing here?
7
00:01:28,007 --> 00:01:30,975
What, is it the thing where the
family runs in and sits down?
8
00:01:32,861 --> 00:01:34,095
That's it?
9
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:37,365
We flew you in and
put you up for that?
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00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,733
I, I think
we're done here.
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00:01:38,801 --> 00:01:40,001
Paul.
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00:01:40,069 --> 00:01:42,170
(playing The Simpsons
theme song)
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00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,635
Lisa Simpson, your actions
have brought devastation
14
00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:59,003
upon this town,
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00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:01,522
and all because
of your selfish desire
16
00:02:01,573 --> 00:02:03,574
to be accepted
by others.
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00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,277
Leave her alone.
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00:02:06,345 --> 00:02:08,112
That's my only
talking daughter.
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00:02:11,183 --> 00:02:13,017
Lethal inject her
on the electric chair.
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00:02:13,085 --> 00:02:16,554
Bart, it's okay to say that
at home but not in court.
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00:02:16,622 --> 00:02:17,555
Take it back.
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00:02:17,623 --> 00:02:19,057
Withdrawn.
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00:02:19,124 --> 00:02:23,895
Now, Lisa, tell your side of the
story, and use your big voice.
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00:02:23,963 --> 00:02:25,997
Well, it all started
a couple of months ago.
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00:02:26,065 --> 00:02:27,265
Your Honor,
I'd like to request
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00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,968
that everyone in the court
picture in their minds
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00:02:30,035 --> 00:02:31,919
what the witness
is describing.
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00:02:31,987 --> 00:02:34,022
I'll allow it,
but no flights of fancy.
29
00:02:34,089 --> 00:02:35,606
Like all too
many stories
30
00:02:35,691 --> 00:02:39,777
about my family, it began with
somebody watching television.
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00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:41,646
Well, McBain,
you certainly picked
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00:02:41,714 --> 00:02:43,915
a bad time to come
out of retirement.
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00:02:43,983 --> 00:02:46,284
I hope you have
a COBRA plan.
34
00:02:48,253 --> 00:02:52,523
You are suffering from
a reptile dysfunction.
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00:02:52,591 --> 00:02:55,242
Down in front.
36
00:02:55,294 --> 00:02:57,912
Damn it,
why do kids have heads?
37
00:02:57,963 --> 00:03:01,265
Homie, stop watching the movie
in the other people's car.
38
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:04,218
Oh, but I'm invested
in the characters.
39
00:03:04,286 --> 00:03:07,188
You'll miss the turnoff
to the fancy new mall.
40
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,673
I make my own
turnoffs.
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00:03:11,677 --> 00:03:14,095
And that, kids, is
how you stick it
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00:03:14,146 --> 00:03:17,231
to the Towne Centre Real
Estate Investment Trust.
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00:03:17,282 --> 00:03:19,067
No, no, no.
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00:03:19,118 --> 00:03:20,101
Whoo-hoo!
45
00:03:21,103 --> 00:03:22,670
Someone thinks
we're leaving.
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00:03:22,738 --> 00:03:24,405
I'll wave them off.
47
00:03:24,473 --> 00:03:26,891
No, no, no, no, let's see how
long we can keep 'em waiting.
48
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,526
Everyone act like
we're buckling up to go home.
49
00:03:29,495 --> 00:03:30,912
Homie.
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00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:32,246
Marge, if you were
married to Da Vinci,
51
00:03:32,314 --> 00:03:33,815
you wouldn't tell
him not to Da Vinch.
52
00:03:53,569 --> 00:03:55,570
Damn it, are you
leaving or not?!
53
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:56,954
Leaving?
54
00:03:57,022 --> 00:03:59,123
Why on earth
would you think that?
55
00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:05,780
We totally
wasted his time.
56
00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:06,814
And ours.
57
00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,821
This place
is so great.
58
00:04:13,889 --> 00:04:15,656
When the trolley hits you,
it doesn't even hurt.
59
00:04:21,797 --> 00:04:23,264
You try it, Maggie.
60
00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:30,088
Ooh, condos.
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00:04:30,155 --> 00:04:31,722
Lenny, do you live here?
62
00:04:31,790 --> 00:04:33,091
Yeah, I just
moved in.
63
00:04:33,158 --> 00:04:35,259
I have a Drippin' Dots
for breakfast every morning;
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00:04:35,327 --> 00:04:37,478
at lunch, I get a massage
in front of strangers;
65
00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:40,181
and then I spend the afternoon
browsing cell phone skins.
66
00:04:40,249 --> 00:04:41,816
Ever get tired
of those dancing waters?
67
00:04:41,884 --> 00:04:44,619
(Strauss' "The Blue Danube"
playing)
68
00:04:46,455 --> 00:04:47,922
The day I moved in.
69
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,590
So what are we all going
to do together?
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00:04:49,658 --> 00:04:54,362
Actually, we just came to do
some shopping as a family.
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00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:55,797
Oh, no worries.
72
00:04:55,864 --> 00:04:58,683
Mr. Mall can make
his own excitement.
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00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:02,236
Give me one doll
from every time period,
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00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:04,472
and set me up for a tea party
in a private room.
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00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:07,575
Lenny, you asked me to stop you
from coming back in here.
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00:05:07,643 --> 00:05:09,260
Let me help you.
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00:05:09,328 --> 00:05:12,830
You can help me by giving
me Ellis Island Emily.
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00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,433
Hi, dear, I'm your Uncle Lenny.
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00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:17,168
I'm going to buy you
an all-new wardrobe,
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00:05:17,236 --> 00:05:19,320
fix your teeth,
send you to the best schools,
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00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,355
and you're going to hate
and resent me for it
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00:05:21,423 --> 00:05:23,624
'cause you're an American now.
83
00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:28,062
I was hanging on to these
gift cards as investments,
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00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:30,398
but then half the companies
went out of business.
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00:05:30,466 --> 00:05:32,316
Better sort those out.
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00:05:36,788 --> 00:05:39,123
Aw...
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00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:49,467
Aw...
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00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:53,538
D'oh!
89
00:05:53,605 --> 00:05:54,489
Do-over.
90
00:05:54,556 --> 00:05:56,057
Hmm.
91
00:05:56,108 --> 00:05:57,074
Whoo-hoo!
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00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:02,196
Unspool it
into my mouth
93
00:06:02,264 --> 00:06:04,966
till that card
is at zero.
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00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:06,868
Draw the curtain.
95
00:06:16,011 --> 00:06:17,845
Sir, as a complexion
scientist,
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00:06:17,913 --> 00:06:20,181
I must advise you
against using any more.
97
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,700
This is the most powerful
hydrator we sell.
98
00:06:22,768 --> 00:06:24,886
Less blathering,
more slathering.
99
00:06:28,574 --> 00:06:30,391
Hey!
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00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:31,342
Watch it!
101
00:06:31,426 --> 00:06:33,027
Yo, Bart dude.
102
00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:34,345
Can I get a ride
to the food court?
103
00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:36,063
Hop on.
104
00:06:36,131 --> 00:06:38,399
Ho-ho!
105
00:06:47,175 --> 00:06:48,326
Hmm.
106
00:06:48,393 --> 00:06:50,461
I kind of want to
create my own thing.
107
00:06:50,529 --> 00:06:52,396
Do you sell any
just plain sets?
108
00:06:52,464 --> 00:06:54,565
No. We do
all the imagining for you.
109
00:06:54,633 --> 00:06:56,434
Well, I'll
just buy one of these
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00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:57,702
and build something
different.
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00:06:57,769 --> 00:07:00,338
You do and you'd better
build yourself a lawyer.
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00:07:00,405 --> 00:07:03,507
Miss Simpson, does
the court really need to hear
113
00:07:03,575 --> 00:07:04,909
everything that happened
114
00:07:04,977 --> 00:07:07,812
in every store
your family visited?
115
00:07:07,879 --> 00:07:11,566
Trust me, I've left a lot out
and cleaned up the swears.
116
00:07:11,633 --> 00:07:13,551
Anyway, I ran into
some schoolmates
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00:07:13,635 --> 00:07:15,052
and thought they
might be friendly.
118
00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:17,972
That's what kids do, right,
hang out at the mall together?
119
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,507
But when I went over...
120
00:07:19,575 --> 00:07:22,009
Hi, guys, what
are you doing?
121
00:07:22,077 --> 00:07:25,413
Duh, having feathers
woven into our hair.
122
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,398
Those girls are
snotty and shallow.
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00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:28,566
Tell them off.
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00:07:28,634 --> 00:07:30,551
Can I join you?
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00:07:32,588 --> 00:07:35,556
Lisa, how can
we put this?
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00:07:35,624 --> 00:07:38,960
You're the reason no one wears
Silly Bandz anymore.
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00:07:39,027 --> 00:07:41,729
Wha...?
They, they don't?
128
00:07:43,899 --> 00:07:45,099
What the...?
129
00:07:48,136 --> 00:07:49,136
Enough.
130
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:54,342
I don't trust this place.
131
00:07:54,409 --> 00:07:56,010
Where are the cashiers?
132
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,011
Huh?
133
00:07:57,079 --> 00:07:58,379
Oh.
134
00:07:58,447 --> 00:07:59,447
Huh?
135
00:07:59,514 --> 00:08:00,681
Oh.
136
00:08:00,749 --> 00:08:03,200
Yeah, the lightest,
most desirable computer
137
00:08:03,268 --> 00:08:06,971
in the world for the next
three weeks: the Mapple Void.
138
00:08:10,008 --> 00:08:13,361
I'll take it,
provided you charge me
139
00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:16,230
for services
that Google offers for free.
140
00:08:16,298 --> 00:08:17,264
I already have.
141
00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:18,633
Sweet.
142
00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:22,169
This computer
is so great.
143
00:08:22,237 --> 00:08:24,238
I'm watching the latest
Sofia Coppola movie
144
00:08:24,306 --> 00:08:27,642
at 20x speed to make it seem
like a normal movie.
145
00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:29,110
I think it
just froze.
146
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:32,413
Oh, no, no, that
bird just moved.
147
00:08:32,481 --> 00:08:35,683
Uh-oh, a draggy backpack.
148
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,152
I have no friends.
149
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:41,422
Aw, sweetie, hey,
why don't you make friends
150
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:43,157
with my new computer?
151
00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:44,825
- Okay.
- Let me just finish downloading
152
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,560
the complete works
of Shakespeare.
153
00:08:52,034 --> 00:08:54,535
Now who's the greatest writer
of all time?
154
00:08:58,473 --> 00:09:00,808
I'd have more friends
if I knew what people liked,
155
00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:03,377
but I won't know what people
like unless I'm their friend.
156
00:09:03,445 --> 00:09:04,779
It's a conundrum.
157
00:09:04,846 --> 00:09:06,247
Helpful hint: If
you want friends,
158
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,049
don't use words
like "conundrum."
159
00:09:09,184 --> 00:09:10,184
Co-what-drum?
160
00:09:10,252 --> 00:09:11,352
Jimbo heard me say it.
161
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,086
I'm dead.
162
00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:22,680
Hmm.
163
00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:31,806
It's easier to be friends
with lots of people online
164
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:34,075
than one person in person.
165
00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:36,377
What if I started
an online meeting place
166
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:40,414
where all are equal
and I am the undisputed center?
167
00:09:43,285 --> 00:09:45,920
How's this
for a conundrum?
168
00:09:45,987 --> 00:09:47,705
It's not really
a conundrum.
169
00:09:47,773 --> 00:09:50,441
Sit at my feet
and I will elaborate.
170
00:09:52,751 --> 00:09:56,608
So, to summarize, Your Honor,
Lisa Simpson created
171
00:09:56,609 --> 00:09:59,278
this "social network"
172
00:09:59,345 --> 00:10:02,481
because she had
no friends.
173
00:10:02,549 --> 00:10:04,450
No, that is
not true.
174
00:10:04,517 --> 00:10:06,385
I...
May I remind you you're under oath?
175
00:10:06,453 --> 00:10:07,953
All right
already.
176
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:09,288
I had no
friends.
177
00:10:09,355 --> 00:10:12,958
With a attitude like that,
I wouldn't be her friend.
178
00:10:13,026 --> 00:10:15,861
Life is
too dang short.
179
00:10:15,929 --> 00:10:19,098
So, since I had no friends,
I assembled a motley crew
180
00:10:19,165 --> 00:10:22,000
of the friendless to help me
construct my social network.
181
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:23,268
Did we become friends?
182
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:24,269
No.
183
00:10:29,409 --> 00:10:32,194
As the CEO of SpringFace,
I want you all to have fun
184
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:33,495
as you write source code
185
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:35,697
until you fall asleep
at your consoles.
186
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,065
Delightful.
187
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:40,402
Here's my favorite
computer game: Angry Nerds.
188
00:10:44,107 --> 00:10:48,210
Nelson, is there any way
I could be your friend?
189
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:50,779
The only way
I would be your friend
190
00:10:50,847 --> 00:10:53,465
is if I could click a box
under your picture saying
191
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:55,834
"Accept friendship request
from."
192
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:59,304
Nelson, you've just given us
the template for our site.
193
00:10:59,372 --> 00:11:01,373
I don't care.
194
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,149
If we don't move, his
odds of getting us both
195
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,568
are 374 to one.
196
00:11:13,903 --> 00:11:15,654
Ooh-oo-ooh, ooh.
197
00:11:15,722 --> 00:11:17,873
Bye.
198
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,077
Now, to skip ahead,
199
00:11:22,145 --> 00:11:25,330
your diabolical plan
was an instant success.
200
00:11:25,398 --> 00:11:27,649
I never said it was diabolical.
201
00:11:27,717 --> 00:11:29,017
Withdrawn.
202
00:11:31,087 --> 00:11:33,121
This social network
quickly unified
203
00:11:33,189 --> 00:11:36,758
the disparate children
of Springfield Unified.
204
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:39,811
Oh, I just got invited
to make out with Shauna.
205
00:11:39,879 --> 00:11:40,979
See?
206
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:43,415
That went out to 200 guys.
207
00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,418
And seven girls.
208
00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:47,619
Oh...
209
00:11:47,687 --> 00:11:49,388
Santa's Little Helper's friends
210
00:11:49,455 --> 00:11:51,123
with Snowball Two?
211
00:11:51,191 --> 00:11:53,091
Now I've seen everything.
212
00:11:53,159 --> 00:11:56,328
Ha, all my friends
have birthdays this year.
213
00:11:59,032 --> 00:12:01,233
I just un-friended Skinner
214
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:02,401
Doggone it.
215
00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:03,569
I'm less popular
216
00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:05,170
than the hornet's nest
in the gym.
217
00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,506
You said you were
getting rid of that nest.
218
00:12:07,574 --> 00:12:09,508
We trade the honey
for chalk and yardsticks.
219
00:12:09,576 --> 00:12:10,909
Hornets make honey?
220
00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:13,312
Better than wasp honey,
not as good as bee.
221
00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,947
Is this how you
talk on dates?
222
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:16,615
I wish my dates
were this interesting.
223
00:12:18,218 --> 00:12:19,218
Hit refresh.
224
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:20,586
Hit refresh.
225
00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:22,521
I have a thousand friends.
226
00:12:22,589 --> 00:12:24,456
And only eight
of them are Milhouse.
227
00:12:24,524 --> 00:12:25,891
A thousand kids?
228
00:12:25,959 --> 00:12:28,093
If you could get each of
them to send you a dollar,
229
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,595
you'd be a millionaire.
230
00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:31,964
Well, it's not just
kids using SpringFace,
231
00:12:32,031 --> 00:12:34,766
it's moms
like me, Marge.
232
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:36,969
Wait a minute,
grownups are on this?
233
00:12:37,036 --> 00:12:38,804
Yeah, look.
234
00:12:45,361 --> 00:12:47,212
We've got to thank you, kiddo.
235
00:12:47,297 --> 00:12:49,765
We've gotten so much more
action since we signed up
236
00:12:49,832 --> 00:12:51,567
and used this picture
of ourselves.
237
00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:54,236
That's not you.
You can see
238
00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:57,489
our reflection
in the sunglasses.
239
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,594
Wow, I've created something
incredibly popular.
240
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:03,996
And I've created something
241
00:13:04,063 --> 00:13:06,565
that created something
incredibly popular.
242
00:13:06,633 --> 00:13:08,533
And I created
an alcoholic hippo.
243
00:13:08,601 --> 00:13:10,135
You never showed it to me.
244
00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:12,237
A stupid alcoholic hippo.
245
00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:13,272
I still want to see it.
246
00:13:13,339 --> 00:13:14,906
There is no hippo.
247
00:13:14,974 --> 00:13:16,141
Then why did you say it?
248
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,643
'Cause you're the hippo.
249
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,077
Are you just saying that
250
00:13:19,145 --> 00:13:20,846
'cause you don't want
me to see the hippo?
251
00:13:20,913 --> 00:13:22,447
I don't have a hippo!
252
00:13:23,293 --> 00:13:26,702
And so, this so-called
"SpringFace"
253
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:29,504
spread from the world
of children to adults.
254
00:13:29,572 --> 00:13:32,341
Man, this Web site
makes talking drunk
255
00:13:32,408 --> 00:13:34,476
to my wife so much safer.
256
00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:36,845
I am sitting here...
257
00:13:36,913 --> 00:13:39,681
zero sheets to the wind...
258
00:13:41,618 --> 00:13:43,619
...counting the moments
to closing time
259
00:13:43,686 --> 00:13:45,821
when I can stumble home to you.
260
00:13:45,889 --> 00:13:47,489
Another round, Moe.
261
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:49,191
Uh-oh, did I type that?
262
00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:50,993
Delete! Delete!
263
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,428
Hm, typing "delete"
does not delete.
264
00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:58,767
It is gratifying to see
all of you bowing in prayer,
265
00:13:58,835 --> 00:14:02,471
the light of God
shining on your faces.
266
00:14:02,538 --> 00:14:06,375
Uh-oh, Bernice Hibbert keeps
"liking" Bumblebee Man'sos.
267
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:08,277
That's how it starts.
268
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:09,578
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.
269
00:14:09,646 --> 00:14:12,681
Why did I make this church
a Wi-Fi hotspot?
270
00:14:12,749 --> 00:14:15,384
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
271
00:14:15,451 --> 00:14:18,453
Let's see, which Muppet am I?
272
00:14:18,521 --> 00:14:19,788
Beaker?
273
00:14:19,856 --> 00:14:21,523
Hm, I guess that's fair.
274
00:14:21,591 --> 00:14:23,358
Friend, friend,
275
00:14:23,426 --> 00:14:25,527
awaiting reply, friend...
276
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:26,895
Sherri? Terri?
277
00:14:26,946 --> 00:14:27,996
Hopscotch?
278
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:29,031
Double Dutch?
279
00:14:29,082 --> 00:14:30,115
Ringolivio?
280
00:14:30,183 --> 00:14:32,067
Anyone?
281
00:14:35,171 --> 00:14:37,472
Oh, I have a thousand friends,
282
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:39,308
and I feel more alone than ever.
283
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:40,776
Whee!
284
00:14:40,843 --> 00:14:42,778
I am trying to
set a mood here.
285
00:14:42,845 --> 00:14:44,212
Whee.
286
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,181
So, to sum up,
287
00:14:46,249 --> 00:14:47,749
Lisa's social network
288
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:50,636
turned into the biggest
Internet failure since...
289
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:52,704
Well, there've been so many.
290
00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:54,523
"Ask Jeeves," anyone?
291
00:15:13,957 --> 00:15:17,626
And so SpringFace became
too big to control,
292
00:15:17,694 --> 00:15:20,830
just like the 60-foot baby
in my self-published novel,
293
00:15:20,897 --> 00:15:22,398
The 60 Ft. Baby.
294
00:15:22,466 --> 00:15:23,399
Order it online now,
295
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:24,567
while you can still cheat
296
00:15:24,634 --> 00:15:25,835
the government on sales tax.
297
00:15:25,902 --> 00:15:29,005
As I was saying,
298
00:15:29,072 --> 00:15:32,074
SpringFace was used
in ways I never expected.
299
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,331
Thanks for SpringFacing me
your head cleaver, Bart.
300
00:15:45,839 --> 00:15:48,374
Check this out: I'm hiding a
bomb in this pile of corpses,
301
00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:50,042
so when Kearney
loots their ammo,
302
00:15:50,110 --> 00:15:52,128
he gets a face full
of ass shrapnel.
303
00:15:53,563 --> 00:15:55,398
Damn, I got ass-shrapped!
304
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,537
What the...?!
305
00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:03,155
That idiot cut me off.
306
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,107
I'm gonna run his plates,
307
00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:08,577
find out who he is, then change
his SpringFace profile picture
308
00:16:08,628 --> 00:16:09,962
to a shot of a monkey.
309
00:16:10,047 --> 00:16:11,497
(chuckle
Get that, Marge?
310
00:16:11,581 --> 00:16:12,948
A monkey!
311
00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:15,284
Homer, watch the road.
Right.
312
00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:18,387
Homer...
is... watching... the...
313
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,197
Dislike! Dislike!
314
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:41,577
Somebody call 911!
315
00:16:41,644 --> 00:16:43,796
I don't know how to use
the phone on my phone.
316
00:16:45,565 --> 00:16:47,550
Hey, did you guys get
my picture of the fire?
317
00:16:47,617 --> 00:16:48,701
Yeah, I did;
nice grab.
318
00:16:48,769 --> 00:16:50,152
I didn't get it yet.
319
00:16:50,203 --> 00:16:51,387
Yeah, funny
how that works.
320
00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:54,423
Lisa Simpson, can you
give us any reason
321
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:58,010
why the city should not force
you to shut down your site?
322
00:16:58,078 --> 00:17:01,180
I know it's awful and insular
323
00:17:01,248 --> 00:17:04,650
and caused 35 deaths,
but I had friends.
324
00:17:04,718 --> 00:17:07,052
Four digits of friends!
325
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:09,688
I had a friend in common
with Malcolm Gladwell.
326
00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,624
He friends everybody.
327
00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:12,558
Fine.
328
00:17:12,626 --> 00:17:13,943
I'll shut down the site.
329
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:20,916
♪ When you were here before
330
00:17:20,984 --> 00:17:23,052
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
331
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,589
Time to get a life.
332
00:17:26,656 --> 00:17:32,728
♪ You're just like an angel
333
00:17:32,796 --> 00:17:35,965
♪ Your skin makes me cry
334
00:17:38,602 --> 00:17:40,169
We don't need your
crummy Web site.
335
00:17:40,237 --> 00:17:42,004
We can make
anything into guns.
336
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:45,791
Lisa.
337
00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:47,593
Lisa!
338
00:17:47,661 --> 00:17:49,795
Want to play Marco
Polo with us?
339
00:17:49,863 --> 00:17:52,181
We just realized you don't
have to play in a pool.
340
00:17:52,249 --> 00:17:53,616
You really want me?
341
00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:54,550
No.
342
00:17:54,618 --> 00:17:56,018
We want your Dad.
343
00:17:56,086 --> 00:17:57,319
Marco.
344
00:17:57,387 --> 00:17:58,621
Come on, Lisa.
345
00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:02,458
Polo!
346
00:18:02,526 --> 00:18:04,076
Fish out of water.
347
00:18:07,981 --> 00:18:14,520
♪ When you were here before
348
00:18:14,588 --> 00:18:20,075
♪ Couldn't look you in the eye
349
00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:25,464
♪ You're just like an angel
350
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,754
Hey, Winklevosses.
351
00:18:31,821 --> 00:18:34,156
You're gonna lose yet again.
352
00:18:34,224 --> 00:18:36,258
You should see
the expression on your faces.
353
00:18:36,326 --> 00:18:37,726
Oh, wait, you can.
354
00:18:37,794 --> 00:18:39,695
They're fat, they smoke,
355
00:18:39,763 --> 00:18:41,113
they started
training a week ago.
356
00:18:41,181 --> 00:18:42,698
Why can't we pull away?
357
00:18:42,766 --> 00:18:44,099
Because we can't
stop concentrating
358
00:18:44,167 --> 00:18:46,468
on that $65 million
Facebook settlement,
359
00:18:46,536 --> 00:18:48,103
which somehow wasn't
enough for us.
360
00:18:48,171 --> 00:18:49,939
Even though we were rich
in the first place.
361
00:18:50,006 --> 00:18:53,008
So long, you big babies!
362
00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:54,643
Hope you like
the taste of silver!
363
00:18:54,711 --> 00:18:57,046
Help us, Larry Summers!
364
00:18:57,113 --> 00:18:59,715
Come on, Wonder twin!
365
00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:01,617
Pull!
366
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:14,663
- And now, for a Simpsons
- "Show's Too Short" story.
367
00:19:17,534 --> 00:19:20,769
Once there was
a young rascal named Bart.
368
00:19:20,837 --> 00:19:24,957
This lad was trouble
from the very start.
369
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:30,963
When it came to mischief,
he had a black thumb.
370
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:34,850
It didn't hurt
that his daddy was dumb.
371
00:19:34,918 --> 00:19:36,885
And when it came
to best friends,
372
00:19:36,953 --> 00:19:39,321
it was Milhouse who picked him.
373
00:19:39,389 --> 00:19:45,110
Sometimes the sidekick,
sometimes the victim.
374
00:19:45,178 --> 00:19:49,214
Then one day
at school engulfed in ennui,
375
00:19:49,299 --> 00:19:53,185
Bart dreamed of wrapping
the place in T.P.
376
00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:56,322
So off to the discount store
they did skulk.
377
00:19:56,389 --> 00:20:00,376
With the evil intent
of buying in bulk.
378
00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:03,746
They went to the school
and put up a ladder.
379
00:20:03,813 --> 00:20:08,801
Only to wait
for Milhouse's bladder.
380
00:20:08,868 --> 00:20:13,122
All that evening
they unfurled with delight.
381
00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:16,392
And soon the school
was covered in white.
382
00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:19,712
The mischievous boys
had done their best.
383
00:20:19,796 --> 00:20:24,233
When an eagle approached,
needing a nest.
384
00:20:24,301 --> 00:20:27,670
They tried to escape
with struggles and squirms.
385
00:20:27,721 --> 00:20:32,057
But all they got
was a diet of worms.
386
00:20:32,142 --> 00:20:35,177
There they remained
to this very day.
387
00:20:35,245 --> 00:20:38,180
So now you know,
pranks do not pay.
388
00:20:38,248 --> 00:20:40,549
Simpson!
389
00:20:40,617 --> 00:20:44,617
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
390
00:20:47,223 --> 00:20:49,958
(The Simpsons theme
performed by The Tiger Lillies)
391
00:21:24,972 --> 00:21:25,839
Shh!