1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,007 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:21,660 --> 00:00:23,862 Monday. 3 00:00:23,929 --> 00:00:25,699 Here we go again. 4 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,831 ♪ The Simpsons 23x19 ♪ A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again Original Air Date on April 29, 2012 5 00:00:34,856 --> 00:00:38,856 == sync, corrected by elderman == 6 00:00:41,683 --> 00:00:48,121 ♪ And I was a boy from school ♪ 7 00:00:48,189 --> 00:00:54,293 ♪ Helplessly helping all the rules ♪ 8 00:00:57,130 --> 00:01:03,471 ♪ And there was a boy at school ♪ 9 00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:09,644 ♪ Hopelessly wrestling all his rules. ♪ 10 00:01:18,590 --> 00:01:20,925 Sorry, kid, but there comes a day when 11 00:01:20,992 --> 00:01:22,927 that just doesn't do anything anymore. 12 00:01:26,332 --> 00:01:28,133 Stuck in a rut? Hmm... 13 00:01:28,201 --> 00:01:29,869 Ready for a change? 14 00:01:37,678 --> 00:01:41,080 We built heaven and made it float. 15 00:01:41,147 --> 00:01:45,451 Royalty Cruises, one week away from the everyday. 16 00:01:45,518 --> 00:01:47,319 Visuals and commercial, if anything, underplay 17 00:01:47,387 --> 00:01:48,954 the thrill of actual cruise experience. 18 00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:50,255 Want, want, want, want, want, 19 00:01:50,323 --> 00:01:52,224 want, want, want, want! 20 00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:54,960 Want!! 21 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,129 Mom, Dad... 22 00:01:57,197 --> 00:01:59,298 do you know there's a boat out there where nothing sucks? 23 00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:00,934 It's called Royalty Cruises, 24 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,736 and Royalty Cruise specialists are standing by now! 25 00:02:02,803 --> 00:02:05,372 I'm sorry, sweetie. 26 00:02:05,439 --> 00:02:08,108 Maybe we could afford a vacation if some big shot 27 00:02:08,175 --> 00:02:11,110 didn't pick up the tab for his buddies at Mr. Steak. 28 00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:16,149 Again with Mr. Steak! Do you know why I go to Mr. Steak? 29 00:02:16,216 --> 00:02:19,785 Because at Mr. Steak, they don't get mad at me 30 00:02:19,853 --> 00:02:22,589 for ending a lot of money at Mr. Steak! 31 00:02:22,656 --> 00:02:24,257 Well, of course they don't! 32 00:02:24,325 --> 00:02:26,025 Why don't you talk to Mrs. Steak? 33 00:02:26,093 --> 00:02:27,777 There is no Mrs. Steak! 34 00:02:27,845 --> 00:02:29,612 Who could stay married to such a man? 35 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,914 Okay, maybe I can pay for the cruise. 36 00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:34,383 Let's see how much it costs for a cabin on a low deck. 37 00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:40,456 No porthole... group Z lifeboat access... 38 00:02:40,524 --> 00:02:43,292 Aw, it's still a ton of money. 39 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,027 Face it, we're just kids. 40 00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:47,563 We can't afford stuff with zeroes in the prices. 41 00:02:47,631 --> 00:02:50,967 All we have in the world are the things our parents give us. 42 00:02:51,034 --> 00:02:52,502 Hmm... 43 00:02:54,338 --> 00:02:56,806 Bart! There's a really mean squirrel in the backyard. 44 00:02:56,874 --> 00:02:58,574 I need you to dare me to fight him! 45 00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:00,142 Huh?! 46 00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:03,646 Bart's been raptured! And his crap's been craptured! 47 00:03:08,702 --> 00:03:10,503 Ah... 48 00:03:14,775 --> 00:03:18,227 Why do you want a box of Bart's baby teeth? 49 00:03:18,295 --> 00:03:21,964 Doctor says I need more calcium, and I ain't "Tums Rich." 50 00:03:26,053 --> 00:03:28,621 I sold all my stuff, 51 00:03:28,689 --> 00:03:30,723 and it's still not enough money for the cruise. 52 00:03:30,791 --> 00:03:33,175 Just try to enjoy your dinner, sweetie. 53 00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:35,561 I can't, I sold my "dinner futures." 54 00:03:35,629 --> 00:03:38,064 Nice doing business with you, boy. 55 00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:39,599 Homer! 56 00:03:41,368 --> 00:03:43,252 It's okay. I don't have much of an appetite. 57 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,354 I'm going to floor. 58 00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:52,311 Mom! Dad! 59 00:03:52,379 --> 00:03:54,146 I woke up and the money jar was full! 60 00:03:54,214 --> 00:03:56,065 That means the devil accepted my bargain. 61 00:03:56,133 --> 00:03:58,100 Now, to uphold my end of the deal! 62 00:03:58,168 --> 00:04:00,886 Snowball II! No! 63 00:04:00,954 --> 00:04:03,256 We saw how much this cruise means to you, 64 00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:05,691 so we all sold something special. 65 00:04:05,759 --> 00:04:08,744 And we made just enough for an economy cabin! 66 00:04:08,812 --> 00:04:11,280 I sold a couple of my rare jazz records. 67 00:04:11,348 --> 00:04:13,482 After a while they all start to sound the same. 68 00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,384 Still love the genre, of course. 69 00:04:15,452 --> 00:04:18,287 Not even close to getting sick of it. 70 00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:20,723 And I sold our good china. 71 00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:22,191 Really?! 72 00:04:22,259 --> 00:04:24,560 But that's been in your family for generations. 73 00:04:24,628 --> 00:04:26,162 Yeah... 74 00:04:26,229 --> 00:04:29,799 actually, my mom stole it from a woman she cleaned for. 75 00:04:29,866 --> 00:04:31,667 Took her years to get the whole set. 76 00:04:31,735 --> 00:04:33,769 And Dad donated something, too. 77 00:04:33,837 --> 00:04:35,855 What happened to my mini-pool table?! 78 00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:38,724 I was training to be a mini-pool hustler. 79 00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:41,894 We sold it to pay for a family cruise. 80 00:04:41,962 --> 00:04:46,132 I never even got to realize this jacket was too small. 81 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,467 It's weird to hear myself saying this, but... 82 00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:49,735 I love you guys. 83 00:04:49,803 --> 00:04:52,405 This is going to be the best vacation ever! 84 00:04:52,472 --> 00:04:54,840 Yeah, for you kids, maybe. 85 00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:59,278 For dads, a family vacation is a 24-hour-a-day babysitting job. 86 00:04:59,346 --> 00:05:00,946 "Are you wearing enough sun block?" 87 00:05:01,014 --> 00:05:02,982 "Is that splashing or drowning?" 88 00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:07,253 "Why does every sand castle require my participation?" 89 00:05:07,321 --> 00:05:10,156 Then a kid disappears, and it's total panic 90 00:05:10,223 --> 00:05:12,391 until you find him at the swim-up bar... 91 00:05:12,459 --> 00:05:14,660 ...eating a 30-dollar cheeseburger, 92 00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:17,263 which he drops in the water! 93 00:05:17,331 --> 00:05:20,700 And here's the worst part: I never get any time alone 94 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:24,537 with my wife because we're all sleeping in the same room! 95 00:05:24,604 --> 00:05:26,439 Look, that's our ship! 96 00:05:43,523 --> 00:05:47,209 Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but your cruise is overbooked. 97 00:05:47,277 --> 00:05:49,545 What? I can offer you a cabin 98 00:05:49,613 --> 00:05:51,747 on our sugar-free fitness cruise. 99 00:05:51,815 --> 00:05:53,315 Welcome to eight days and seven nights 100 00:05:53,383 --> 00:05:55,484 of pushups and kale! 101 00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:59,855 Well, well, Mr. Never-Wrong was right again: 102 00:05:59,923 --> 00:06:02,591 Family vacations always suck. 103 00:06:02,659 --> 00:06:04,060 I called it! 104 00:06:04,127 --> 00:06:05,828 Called... it. 105 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,364 Homer, this is bad for you, too. 106 00:06:08,432 --> 00:06:10,199 ♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪ 107 00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:11,967 ♪ Worth it to be ri-ght! ♪ 108 00:06:13,637 --> 00:06:15,938 Wait a minute, I can get you back on your original ship, 109 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:17,573 but in a different cabin. 110 00:06:17,641 --> 00:06:20,426 Upgrade! 111 00:06:20,494 --> 00:06:22,812 I'm sorry, there's been a mistake. 112 00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:25,581 This isn't your cabin. 113 00:06:25,649 --> 00:06:28,384 Double upgrade! All right! 114 00:06:30,053 --> 00:06:33,055 I knew it. It was all a dream. 115 00:06:33,123 --> 00:06:34,874 No, honey. You just passed out 116 00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:38,043 when you saw the private bedroom in our triple upgrade! 117 00:06:38,111 --> 00:06:41,781 I actually did it-- a perfect vacation. 118 00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:50,720 You'll never guess how many bath towels they gave us... 119 00:06:50,787 --> 00:06:53,622 - enough! - Whoo... 120 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,891 And there's a DVD library of movies 121 00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:57,460 that haven't been released yet. 122 00:06:57,527 --> 00:06:58,728 Whoa... 123 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,162 Whoa. 124 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:01,764 Greetings, cruisers! 125 00:07:01,832 --> 00:07:04,867 I'm your cruise director, Rowan Priddis, 126 00:07:04,935 --> 00:07:07,636 and welcome aboard the Royalty Valhalla, 127 00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:11,007 where the only rule is "Always Have Fun!" 128 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:14,210 Your every need will be catered to from our toddler's club 129 00:07:14,277 --> 00:07:18,681 to "Condolences," our award- winning luxury morgue. 130 00:07:18,749 --> 00:07:20,716 Your enjoyment pays my salary, 131 00:07:20,784 --> 00:07:22,918 so in a sense, each of you is my boss... 132 00:07:22,986 --> 00:07:24,253 and as my boss... 133 00:07:24,321 --> 00:07:26,756 I'd like to ask you for a week of vacation. 134 00:07:26,823 --> 00:07:29,358 A week I will spend here on this cruise, 135 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:31,794 performing my normal duties as cruise director. 136 00:07:33,730 --> 00:07:36,599 That's how much I love my job. 137 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:37,833 Bon voyage! 138 00:07:39,536 --> 00:07:41,937 Whoa, a "Fun Schedule"! 139 00:07:42,005 --> 00:07:43,756 There's so much to do: 140 00:07:43,824 --> 00:07:45,624 Laser-Tag, Waterslide Bobsled... 141 00:07:45,692 --> 00:07:48,994 Oh! Ice Cream Snowball Fight starts in five minutes! 142 00:07:50,430 --> 00:07:56,352 Homie, we actually have the cabin all to ourselves. 143 00:07:59,356 --> 00:08:01,757 Sex on a family vacation? 144 00:08:01,825 --> 00:08:04,193 I never thought such a thing was possible! 145 00:08:04,261 --> 00:08:06,195 Oh, ho... 146 00:08:06,263 --> 00:08:09,265 And the ocean will do all of the work. 147 00:08:11,101 --> 00:08:13,335 Ocean sex rules! 148 00:08:13,403 --> 00:08:15,521 Go to hell, land sex! 149 00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:19,358 KidZone. 150 00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:21,494 Let me guess: a broken foosball table 151 00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:23,829 and a game of Clue missing its candlestick. 152 00:08:23,897 --> 00:08:27,633 Lisa Simpson? Our KidZone pre-screeners have placed you 153 00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:29,819 with our most sophisticated children-- 154 00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,520 "KidZone: Elite". 155 00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:38,961 Help me study the effects of rising ocean acidity. 156 00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:42,064 No, help me tag and release seabirds. 157 00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:43,749 It's so diverse. 158 00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:46,318 I've died and gone to a PBS Kids show! 159 00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:50,689 Two?! 160 00:08:54,845 --> 00:08:57,813 All right, Fun Schedule, you're about to get did! 161 00:09:37,904 --> 00:09:41,473 Two diplomats' sons are in love with me. 162 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,943 Who will I choose: Ghana or Portugal? 163 00:09:44,010 --> 00:09:46,212 Boy, thanks to you, we're having fun-- 164 00:09:46,279 --> 00:09:48,280 "before you were born" fun. 165 00:09:48,348 --> 00:09:49,915 Where did the ship stop again? 166 00:09:49,983 --> 00:09:53,118 I don't know, a lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, 167 00:09:53,186 --> 00:09:56,755 shell necklaces; they really hid the poverty nicely. 168 00:09:56,823 --> 00:10:00,726 Anyplace is fun if you're there with "Super Lips." 169 00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:04,997 Your names... 170 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:08,000 I'm just glad everyone is having the best week of their lives. 171 00:10:10,303 --> 00:10:13,105 Whenever we reach the halfway point of our voyage, 172 00:10:13,173 --> 00:10:15,541 I like to take a moment to reflect. 173 00:10:15,609 --> 00:10:17,810 Hit it, Gary Ocean and the Motion! 174 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:22,031 ♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪ 175 00:10:22,098 --> 00:10:25,668 ♪ Ice-sculptures, conga lines, and working on your tan ♪ 176 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:29,605 ♪ Enjoy it while you're here ♪ 177 00:10:29,673 --> 00:10:33,442 ♪ One week of glitz and glam instead of pain and fear ♪ 178 00:10:35,111 --> 00:10:38,330 ♪ In just a few days' time, this boat pulls into dock ♪ 179 00:10:38,398 --> 00:10:43,085 ♪ And when it does, you lovely people may be in for a shock ♪ 180 00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:44,937 ♪ Here you've made exciting friends ♪ 181 00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:47,056 ♪ Back home, you'll all lose touch ♪ 182 00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:48,657 ♪ Here, Hawaiian shirts are cool ♪ 183 00:10:48,725 --> 00:10:50,776 ♪ Back home, well, not so much ♪ 184 00:10:50,844 --> 00:10:54,964 ♪ Back home, you'll be to tired for making magic in the sack ♪ 185 00:10:55,031 --> 00:10:56,982 ♪ So, eat buffet, and play and pray ♪ 186 00:10:57,050 --> 00:11:00,486 ♪ There's some delay on our way back ♪ 187 00:11:00,553 --> 00:11:04,623 ♪ Enjoy it while you can ♪ 188 00:11:04,691 --> 00:11:07,159 ♪ Here at sea, we drink and frolic ♪ 189 00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,011 ♪ Back home, that's called alcoholic ♪ 190 00:11:09,079 --> 00:11:12,681 ♪ Your future's up but parabolic ♪ 191 00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:19,505 ♪ Enjoy it while you can. ♪ 192 00:11:19,572 --> 00:11:20,456 Bravo! 193 00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:21,890 Yeah, all right! Oh, yeah! 194 00:11:26,846 --> 00:11:28,080 The song's right. 195 00:11:28,148 --> 00:11:30,416 No matter how much fun I cram into this cruise, 196 00:11:30,483 --> 00:11:32,051 it only lasts a week. 197 00:11:32,118 --> 00:11:34,637 Then it's back to Mom and Dad fighting, Lisa moping, 198 00:11:34,704 --> 00:11:36,989 homework, bullies and a lunch bag sandwich 199 00:11:37,056 --> 00:11:40,175 soggy with the sweat of a juice box! 200 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:44,947 After this cruise, for the rest of my life, it's all downhill. 201 00:11:49,719 --> 00:11:51,887 Only good week of my life. 202 00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:03,615 Haw-haw! 203 00:12:05,819 --> 00:12:09,288 Why can't vacation last forever? 204 00:12:09,356 --> 00:12:12,090 I've got to do something. 205 00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:14,226 Sorry. 206 00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,868 There's something I see 207 00:12:22,936 --> 00:12:25,688 that's even more beautiful than Ganymede, Lisa. 208 00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,456 I... Oh. 209 00:12:27,524 --> 00:12:29,274 That's right, Io. 210 00:12:29,342 --> 00:12:33,746 But no moon of Jupiter is as beautiful as you. 211 00:12:33,813 --> 00:12:34,697 Oh. 212 00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:40,803 Purple! 213 00:12:51,164 --> 00:12:53,799 This is General William Sullivan with an emergency message. 214 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,885 I'm speaking to you from a CDC clean zone. 215 00:12:56,953 --> 00:13:00,539 Outbreak of the deadly Pandora virus is spreading rapidly. 216 00:13:00,607 --> 00:13:04,276 precedented threat requires a worldwide quarantine. 217 00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:07,496 All ships must remain at sea until further... 218 00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:09,348 Humanity must endure. 219 00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:10,916 A virus?! 220 00:13:10,983 --> 00:13:13,736 - We're stuck on the ship?! - What should we do?! 221 00:13:17,524 --> 00:13:20,559 They're buying it. They're buying it. 222 00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:22,895 "Chillingly plausible" indeed, 223 00:13:22,962 --> 00:13:25,297 Joe Morgenstern of The Wall Street Journal. 224 00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:28,000 Now to make sure no one can call home to check, 225 00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,803 with a little help from the make-your-own-sundae bar. 226 00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:34,706 Squirt, squirt. 227 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:36,925 Mmm. 228 00:13:40,747 --> 00:13:41,847 Mmm. 229 00:13:47,387 --> 00:13:49,154 Our attempts to contact the mainland 230 00:13:49,222 --> 00:13:50,823 have met with nothing but static. 231 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:53,826 It appears we have no choice-- to avoid the virus, 232 00:13:53,893 --> 00:13:57,463 we must remain at sea indefinitely. 233 00:13:57,530 --> 00:13:59,031 Oh, no! 234 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,165 We're stuck here! 235 00:14:00,233 --> 00:14:01,066 Woo-hoo! 236 00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:03,802 Vacation forever! 237 00:14:09,662 --> 00:14:11,897 Good morning, everyone! 238 00:14:11,965 --> 00:14:15,567 As we greet a sunny Day 12, After Virus. 239 00:14:15,635 --> 00:14:17,703 While the world deals with their pandemic, 240 00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:20,873 we're having a "fundemic," under the capable hands 241 00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,609 of our Norwegian Captain Svalbard. 242 00:14:23,676 --> 00:14:27,412 I always knew mankind's hubris would doom us all. 243 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,048 Ja, he spoke of it often. 244 00:14:30,116 --> 00:14:31,683 Once we reach our exciting 245 00:14:31,751 --> 00:14:33,752 and hopefully virus-free destination, 246 00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:36,688 romantic Antarctica, our activities will include 247 00:14:36,756 --> 00:14:38,557 building shelter, hunting for food 248 00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:41,460 and starting civilization anew. 249 00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:43,529 While supplies may be running a little low, 250 00:14:43,596 --> 00:14:46,331 not to worry, as today's delicious buffet 251 00:14:46,399 --> 00:14:50,402 features fresh seagull and hull-scraped barnacles. 252 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:54,907 In the Chuckles Comedy Club, we have Joey Scazzazone, 253 00:14:54,974 --> 00:14:57,042 with his no-longer-observational take 254 00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:58,977 on our pre-virus lives. 255 00:14:59,045 --> 00:15:00,362 Hey, so what's the deal with 256 00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:03,098 how many Starbucks there used to be, huh? 257 00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:05,367 I don't know why that bothered me so much. 258 00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:07,302 Hug your kids. 259 00:15:09,389 --> 00:15:10,889 Need a break? 260 00:15:10,957 --> 00:15:13,892 Then don't check out the Sensations Luxury Spa, 261 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,979 which is now the stronghold of charismatic cult leader 262 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,513 Dave the Lifeguard. 263 00:15:18,581 --> 00:15:21,633 Mankind was warned not to run near the pool! 264 00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:23,435 Mankind did not listen! 265 00:15:23,503 --> 00:15:25,504 The virus is his reward! 266 00:15:25,572 --> 00:15:28,106 Ohm... ohm... 267 00:15:28,174 --> 00:15:32,177 So, remember, rule number one is "always have fun," 268 00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:35,781 because fun is the only thing that will keep us alive. 269 00:15:35,848 --> 00:15:37,883 Fun! 270 00:15:37,951 --> 00:15:40,836 Worthless, worthless, worthless. 271 00:15:40,904 --> 00:15:43,555 Hey, guys, can you believe how awesome this is? 272 00:15:43,623 --> 00:15:45,140 If it wasn't for this virus thing, 273 00:15:45,224 --> 00:15:47,175 we'd all be back at our old sucky lives. 274 00:15:47,243 --> 00:15:50,646 Instead, you're here, where you can be lovey-dovey all the time. 275 00:15:50,713 --> 00:15:52,381 Come on, kiss. 276 00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:53,966 Kiss! 277 00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:57,836 Bart, we're too worried to enjoy each other's mouths. 278 00:15:57,904 --> 00:16:00,138 Yeah, and the customer service on this cruise 279 00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:01,540 has really gone downhill. 280 00:16:01,608 --> 00:16:03,609 Drop dead, fat-ass! 281 00:16:04,978 --> 00:16:08,113 Last week, that steward brought me extra shampoo. 282 00:16:08,181 --> 00:16:10,382 He called me "lovely lady." 283 00:16:10,450 --> 00:16:13,368 Hey, Lis, at least you nerds are still geekin' it up. 284 00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:16,204 What could be sweeter than a vacation that never ends? 285 00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:17,873 Sweet? Sweet?! 286 00:16:17,941 --> 00:16:19,207 The passengers on this ship 287 00:16:19,275 --> 00:16:20,809 could be the last people on earth. 288 00:16:20,877 --> 00:16:21,810 Like monks during the Dark Ages, 289 00:16:21,878 --> 00:16:24,212 it's up to the KidZone: Elite 290 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,381 to make a record of human culture. 291 00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,333 This group is adapting children's classics 292 00:16:28,384 --> 00:16:31,836 for the stage to entertain generations of survivors. 293 00:16:31,888 --> 00:16:34,556 Erik, we must work with the humans. 294 00:16:34,641 --> 00:16:36,758 You are so naive, Charles. 295 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,027 We should rule them as conquerors. 296 00:16:39,095 --> 00:16:42,931 Can't anybody enjoy their forever vacation? 297 00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:45,767 Check it out! The gallery was gonna 298 00:16:45,835 --> 00:16:47,135 throw these paintings overboard, 299 00:16:47,203 --> 00:16:49,671 like they were worthless garbage. 300 00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:51,873 Bart, glad you're here. 301 00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:53,809 We're all gonna watch a movie together. 302 00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:55,394 Yeah, a movie! 303 00:16:55,461 --> 00:16:58,463 It is about time you guys started having some fun. 304 00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:01,933 Humanity must endure. 305 00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:03,719 General, it's worse than we thought. 306 00:17:03,786 --> 00:17:05,153 The virus is getting bigger. 307 00:17:09,175 --> 00:17:10,676 Bart, how could you? 308 00:17:10,743 --> 00:17:12,227 Uh, got to go! 309 00:17:12,311 --> 00:17:15,998 Man, I kicked butt in the gladiator arena today. 310 00:17:16,065 --> 00:17:19,051 I won the last package of hot dogs on the ship. 311 00:17:19,118 --> 00:17:21,787 I got robbed by marauders on the way home. 312 00:17:21,854 --> 00:17:23,689 There is no virus! 313 00:17:23,756 --> 00:17:26,074 Bart faked the whole thing with a DVD. 314 00:17:26,142 --> 00:17:29,378 A direct-to-video DVD. 315 00:17:29,445 --> 00:17:32,647 You stand accused of letting down your team 316 00:17:32,715 --> 00:17:34,416 during music trivia. 317 00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:38,854 Your fun-ishment: eight hours in the penal conga line. 318 00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:46,111 Excuse me, Cruise Director Priddis. 319 00:17:46,179 --> 00:17:48,346 My son has something to tell you. 320 00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:51,516 Speak passenger, son of passenger. 321 00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:53,585 It was all a hoax; there's no virus. 322 00:17:54,904 --> 00:17:56,755 But the warning from the general! 323 00:17:56,823 --> 00:17:59,424 That was just Treat Williams in a virus movie. 324 00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:02,127 You know, I thought that general looked familiar. 325 00:18:02,195 --> 00:18:03,095 What? 326 00:18:03,162 --> 00:18:04,930 I'm in a lot of movies. 327 00:18:08,534 --> 00:18:10,952 I take back everything I said to you 328 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:13,288 that night in the dolphin lab. 329 00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:16,858 All that happened is we got a little extra vacation. 330 00:18:16,926 --> 00:18:18,560 Is that so bad? 331 00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:20,262 I think I ate people meat! 332 00:18:21,664 --> 00:18:23,432 I know my son did a terrible thing. 333 00:18:23,499 --> 00:18:25,567 But there's a chapel on this ship, 334 00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:27,619 and in that chapel there's a book, 335 00:18:27,687 --> 00:18:30,689 and it says, "Judge not, lest ye..." 336 00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:34,226 After this, I'll be lucky to get work 337 00:18:34,293 --> 00:18:37,295 on a clothing-optional Jimmy Buffett cruise! 338 00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:39,798 What about the duty-free stuff we bought? 339 00:18:39,866 --> 00:18:42,134 "Never have fun!" 340 00:18:42,201 --> 00:18:44,069 My booze and cologne! 341 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,293 That's fair. 342 00:19:00,294 --> 00:19:01,599 Sorry. 343 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,851 I deserve it. 344 00:19:02,918 --> 00:19:04,953 Ow! That one really hurt. 345 00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:08,757 Sorry, sweetie, I just needed to get that out of my system. 346 00:19:08,824 --> 00:19:12,327 This stupid prank is the most selfish thing you've ever done! 347 00:19:12,395 --> 00:19:14,496 I wasn't being selfish. 348 00:19:14,563 --> 00:19:16,831 I did it for you guys, too. 349 00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:19,534 Lisa, you made friends with kids just like you. 350 00:19:19,602 --> 00:19:23,071 Mom and Dad, you were more happy and in love than I ever saw you. 351 00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:25,473 It was the best week of all of our lives, 352 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:27,008 and I wanted it to last forever. 353 00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:30,311 Choke on my numb blue hands! 354 00:19:32,181 --> 00:19:34,015 Oh... what the... 355 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,519 Hey, up here! 356 00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:38,920 You got to see this! 357 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,956 Ooh! 358 00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:44,759 From egg to baby to grownup, 359 00:19:44,827 --> 00:19:46,327 we can see them living 360 00:19:46,395 --> 00:19:48,129 their entire penguin lives from up here. 361 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,634 What a load of crap. 362 00:19:52,702 --> 00:19:56,104 They spend all their time trying to raise a baby, and why? 363 00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:58,773 So it can grow up and do the same dumb thing, 364 00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,542 on and on forever. 365 00:20:00,609 --> 00:20:02,377 The penguin's life isn't all bad. 366 00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:03,912 Those ones are having a blast. 367 00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,401 But the slide's just like our cruise: 368 00:20:09,468 --> 00:20:11,186 a short awesome thing that just shows you 369 00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:13,021 how boring the rest of your life is. 370 00:20:13,105 --> 00:20:15,857 Well, sure, life is full of pain and drudgery, 371 00:20:15,941 --> 00:20:18,793 but the trick is to enjoy the few perfect experiences 372 00:20:18,861 --> 00:20:20,595 we're given in the moment. 373 00:20:20,663 --> 00:20:22,430 Yeah, stupid. 374 00:20:22,498 --> 00:20:25,784 Stop thinking about fun and have it! 375 00:20:28,070 --> 00:20:29,754 Whoa... whoa...! 376 00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:32,891 Hey, wait for me! 377 00:20:51,177 --> 00:20:53,278 What a great ride. 378 00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:25,123 == sync, corrected by elderman == 379 00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:46,147 Shh!