1 00:00:07,469 --> 00:00:08,669 D'oh! 2 00:00:19,202 --> 00:00:23,202 ♪ The Simpsons 26x18 ♪ Peeping Mom Original Air Date on April 19, 2015 3 00:00:23,203 --> 00:00:28,803 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 4 00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,256 Excuse me? 5 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,658 I'm having trouble 6 00:00:31,692 --> 00:00:33,426 with the on-off button on my phone. 7 00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:35,761 Okay, let me check your settings, your photos. 8 00:00:35,796 --> 00:00:37,930 I don't see why you need to do that. 9 00:00:37,964 --> 00:00:39,865 Wow, that guy's really fat. 10 00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:42,334 That's my husband! Oh! 11 00:00:42,368 --> 00:00:44,002 Let me talk to another salesman. 12 00:00:44,037 --> 00:00:45,370 Oh, I'm not a salesman. 13 00:00:45,405 --> 00:00:47,339 I'm just a guy in a blue shirt. 14 00:00:47,373 --> 00:00:49,341 Oh! 15 00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,208 Okay, Maggie, from now on, 16 00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:53,778 we only talk to people at stores with name tags. 17 00:00:53,813 --> 00:00:57,014 I've said it before, but this time, I mean it. 18 00:00:57,049 --> 00:00:58,917 What happened? 19 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:01,285 Oh, someone snuck into the construction site, 20 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,556 stole a bulldozer and went joyriding all over town. 21 00:01:11,563 --> 00:01:14,731 Don't worry. I have a suspect. Ha! 22 00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:19,736 I can't stand to see anything suffer. 23 00:01:19,771 --> 00:01:22,806 Now I've got everything I need to convict your boy, 24 00:01:22,841 --> 00:01:25,575 except for motive, means and opportunity. 25 00:01:25,609 --> 00:01:27,076 You also have no evidence. 26 00:01:27,110 --> 00:01:28,711 That's implied! 27 00:01:28,745 --> 00:01:30,480 So, I'm remanding him... 28 00:01:30,514 --> 00:01:31,914 Is that a word-- "remanding"? 29 00:01:31,949 --> 00:01:33,749 Yeah, uh, to your custody. 30 00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:37,219 Maybe a mother can find out what a police chief can't. 31 00:01:37,253 --> 00:01:38,888 Hmm? 32 00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:40,255 What? 33 00:01:41,824 --> 00:01:43,257 Oh! 34 00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:45,226 Let's go. 35 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:47,963 Monarch butterfly, earwig, 36 00:01:47,997 --> 00:01:50,164 roly-poly, doodlebug, 37 00:01:50,199 --> 00:01:53,668 beer cap, ant, beer bottle, Barney. 38 00:01:53,703 --> 00:01:55,403 All right, I'm on a list! 39 00:01:57,473 --> 00:02:00,407 Flanders got a new dog! 40 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,647 Aw, what's her name? 41 00:02:06,681 --> 00:02:09,583 Mahershalalhasbaz. We just call her Baz. 42 00:02:09,618 --> 00:02:11,585 Now it's time for her Christian doggy training. 43 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,086 This will be interesting. 44 00:02:13,121 --> 00:02:14,922 Sit. Kneel. 45 00:02:14,956 --> 00:02:17,490 Pray. Play dead. 46 00:02:17,525 --> 00:02:19,592 Now resurrect. 47 00:02:19,627 --> 00:02:22,128 And sit in glory at the right hand of Todd. 48 00:02:23,731 --> 00:02:26,766 Finally, a religion that makes sense. 49 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,669 All right, Mr. Smarty, what went on back there? 50 00:02:29,703 --> 00:02:32,371 Mom, why is it the only time you call me smart 51 00:02:32,406 --> 00:02:33,972 is when you're being sarcastic? 52 00:02:34,007 --> 00:02:35,641 Really? Do I do that? 53 00:02:35,675 --> 00:02:37,442 Because I really shouldn't. 54 00:02:37,476 --> 00:02:40,145 You're the one in trouble here, bub! 55 00:02:40,179 --> 00:02:42,614 Why don't you think about what you just did? 56 00:02:42,649 --> 00:02:44,482 Why don't you think about what you just did? 57 00:02:52,223 --> 00:02:55,325 Hmm. I will live with that forever, 58 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,294 but this is about you. 59 00:02:57,328 --> 00:03:00,464 I swear to you on my mother's grave, I didn't do a thing! 60 00:03:00,498 --> 00:03:02,266 Sorry, sorry. 61 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,704 So, the Flanderses got a new dog, and it knows my name! 62 00:03:07,738 --> 00:03:10,840 Good for you, little girl! 63 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,241 Marge, Bart, I've noticed 64 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,510 neither of you have said a word all meal. 65 00:03:14,545 --> 00:03:17,313 Are there feelings going unexpressed here? 66 00:03:17,347 --> 00:03:19,482 Because if there are... 67 00:03:19,516 --> 00:03:23,152 I believe someone at this table isn't telling us the truth. 68 00:03:24,187 --> 00:03:26,421 Master Bart Simpson! 69 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,361 Kids, could you excuse us for a moment? 70 00:03:33,396 --> 00:03:36,999 Your mother and I need to have an adult conversation. 71 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,734 What'd he do? What'd he do? 72 00:03:38,768 --> 00:03:40,168 Your son stole a bulldozer. 73 00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:42,503 How do you know? - A mother knows. 74 00:03:42,537 --> 00:03:44,706 Does a wife know things? - Yes. 75 00:03:46,141 --> 00:03:48,009 I believe we were talking about Bart. 76 00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:50,444 I'm afraid I don't know how to handle him anymore. 77 00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:53,748 Oh, Bart's ten. He's too old to be handled. 78 00:03:53,782 --> 00:03:57,085 We should just think of excuses for when he goes bonkers. 79 00:03:57,119 --> 00:03:58,551 Oh. "Acne medicine." 80 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,420 When in doubt, blame the acne medicine. 81 00:04:00,454 --> 00:04:02,089 No, I'm not giving up on Bart, 82 00:04:02,123 --> 00:04:04,190 just like I didn't give up on our marriage 83 00:04:04,225 --> 00:04:07,127 when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League. 84 00:04:07,161 --> 00:04:09,429 The NASL would have made money 85 00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:13,399 if someone had washed a few sumo loincloths for me! 86 00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:17,302 I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo. 87 00:04:20,107 --> 00:04:23,408 Bart, get in here! 88 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:25,711 Look me in the eye and tell me 89 00:04:25,746 --> 00:04:28,447 you know nothing about that bulldozer. 90 00:04:28,481 --> 00:04:30,783 I know nothing about that bulldozer. 91 00:04:30,817 --> 00:04:32,450 This is bad. 92 00:04:32,484 --> 00:04:34,418 He can't tell his mother what he does. 93 00:04:34,453 --> 00:04:36,788 Where will that lead? 94 00:04:36,822 --> 00:04:38,723 Any last words, boyo? 95 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:40,291 I know nothing about that bulldozer. 96 00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:42,493 Give him the juice! 97 00:04:43,929 --> 00:04:45,296 Which one's yours? 98 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,065 The one being electrocuted! 99 00:04:47,099 --> 00:04:49,499 I've never seen an eyeball pop so fast. 100 00:04:51,269 --> 00:04:53,436 I wish I could tell you about that bulldozer, 101 00:04:53,471 --> 00:04:56,106 but how can I explain something I know nothing about? 102 00:04:56,141 --> 00:04:58,075 I am not cable news. 103 00:04:58,109 --> 00:04:59,943 Stop it! Stop it! 104 00:04:59,978 --> 00:05:01,645 Stop lying right now! 105 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,413 But-but you have to believe me. 106 00:05:03,447 --> 00:05:05,315 You're my mom! 107 00:05:05,349 --> 00:05:08,151 All right, I will believe you on this. Smart. 108 00:05:08,185 --> 00:05:11,087 But until then, I'm going to keep my eye on you. 109 00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:12,521 All the time. 110 00:05:12,556 --> 00:05:13,923 All the time? 111 00:05:13,957 --> 00:05:16,358 How are you gonna change Maggie? 112 00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:23,732 Ah, close enough. 113 00:05:25,134 --> 00:05:27,502 All aboard. 114 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,604 Mom, what are you doing? 115 00:05:29,638 --> 00:05:32,774 I told you, to trust you, I have to watch you. 116 00:05:32,809 --> 00:05:35,476 All the time. 117 00:05:37,780 --> 00:05:38,880 Mmm. 118 00:05:38,915 --> 00:05:40,547 You're gonna be riding this bus? 119 00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:44,218 I'm going to be watching my son wherever he goes. 120 00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:45,485 Then you'd better go out the back, 121 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,754 'cause that's where he went. 122 00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:49,289 D'oh! 123 00:05:55,384 --> 00:05:58,919 Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog. 124 00:05:58,954 --> 00:06:00,755 I just want to apologize in advance 125 00:06:00,789 --> 00:06:02,857 for the things I'm gonna blame on you. 126 00:06:02,891 --> 00:06:04,258 Homer, meet Baz. 127 00:06:09,898 --> 00:06:11,398 Oh, sorry, Flanders. 128 00:06:11,432 --> 00:06:13,067 I'm sure she has fun with you. 129 00:06:13,101 --> 00:06:15,301 She sure likes you. 130 00:06:15,335 --> 00:06:17,470 Must be the cheeseburgers in your sweat. 131 00:06:17,504 --> 00:06:20,439 Cheeseburgers in my sweat. Really? 132 00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:24,577 Now, apparently, I have cheeseburgers in my sweat. 133 00:06:28,415 --> 00:06:30,583 I can leave any time, Bart. 134 00:06:30,617 --> 00:06:33,252 Just tell me what happened with that bulldozer. 135 00:06:33,286 --> 00:06:35,287 Next question. - Fine. 136 00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:37,289 Which papers on the walls are yours? 137 00:06:37,323 --> 00:06:39,124 None of them. 138 00:06:39,159 --> 00:06:41,393 Is that the boy who copies off you? 139 00:06:41,427 --> 00:06:43,428 I copy off him?! 140 00:06:43,462 --> 00:06:48,333 What brand of poppycock is this miscreant feeding you, madam? 141 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,401 Okay, Mom, I admit it. 142 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:53,070 There's a few lies I told you that you're gonna find out. 143 00:06:53,105 --> 00:06:54,939 Simpson, you said your mother was dead. 144 00:06:56,842 --> 00:06:59,277 She's become a zombie! Run! 145 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,083 Mom, churros are good for you. 146 00:07:07,118 --> 00:07:08,751 They're ethnic. 147 00:07:08,786 --> 00:07:10,620 Hey, Simpson, you need your mommy 148 00:07:10,654 --> 00:07:12,455 to cut your carrots for you? 149 00:07:12,489 --> 00:07:14,324 He can cut his own carrots. 150 00:07:14,358 --> 00:07:16,860 Baby carrots 'cause he's a baby! 151 00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:20,530 Brilliant! 152 00:07:20,531 --> 00:07:21,932 Mom, Dad does plenty of stuff 153 00:07:21,966 --> 00:07:23,332 you don't like. 154 00:07:23,366 --> 00:07:24,834 Why don't you follow him? 155 00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,268 Following an adult is creepy. 156 00:07:26,303 --> 00:07:28,838 Following your kid is parenting. 157 00:07:28,872 --> 00:07:32,308 I'm so lucky my mom's in Gainesboro, Florida... 158 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:33,843 I think. 159 00:07:35,212 --> 00:07:37,112 Is my mom still outside? 160 00:07:37,147 --> 00:07:40,715 She's swinging on a swing, and Ralph's pushing her. 161 00:07:40,749 --> 00:07:42,717 Hello! Good-bye! 162 00:07:42,751 --> 00:07:44,518 Hello! Good-bye! 163 00:07:44,553 --> 00:07:46,120 Hello! Good-bye! 164 00:07:46,155 --> 00:07:48,356 Hello! Good-bye! 165 00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:50,024 Hello! Good-bye! 166 00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:53,361 I am never leaving this tube. 167 00:07:53,395 --> 00:07:56,064 Sorry, lad. You've been in more than five minutes, 168 00:07:56,098 --> 00:07:57,865 so I've got to remove you. 169 00:07:57,899 --> 00:08:01,801 And I'm authorized to use the greatest weapon at me disposal. 170 00:08:04,538 --> 00:08:06,173 No! 171 00:08:06,207 --> 00:08:08,876 Scotland! 1,200 years, 172 00:08:08,910 --> 00:08:10,911 and we've only written one song! 173 00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,149 Man. 174 00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:20,987 Staying on this all-pork-chop diet is easier than I thought. 175 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,588 That diet doesn't work. 176 00:08:22,622 --> 00:08:24,924 You have to give it a year. 177 00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:26,392 So, how was school today? 178 00:08:26,426 --> 00:08:28,027 Well, actually, 179 00:08:28,061 --> 00:08:30,662 I caused quite a ruckus in the nurse's office 180 00:08:30,697 --> 00:08:32,597 by pointing out they weren't putting fresh paper 181 00:08:32,631 --> 00:08:34,499 on the lay-down table. 182 00:08:34,533 --> 00:08:36,501 Very good, sweetie. Could you lean back? 183 00:08:36,535 --> 00:08:38,236 I have to focus on your brother. 184 00:08:38,271 --> 00:08:40,838 Sure, sure. No need to worry about Lisa. 185 00:08:40,873 --> 00:08:42,240 Lisa's always fine. 186 00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:43,608 No worries there. Nah. 187 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,216 Aw. What are you doing here? 188 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:55,085 I bet you escaped, and now Flanders is worried sick. 189 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,621 I should call him... after I scratch your tummy! 190 00:08:57,655 --> 00:08:59,390 That's right! 191 00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:02,226 Who likes their tummy scratched while Flanders is worried sick? 192 00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:05,061 You do! You do! Yes, you do! 193 00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:06,930 Oh, he doesn't know where you are. 194 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:09,365 Yes, he's probably crying right now. 195 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,036 Come on, boy. We'll go to my room. 196 00:09:13,070 --> 00:09:16,072 I can play jazz, or give you a bath, or... 197 00:09:17,507 --> 00:09:18,874 Never chooses jazz. 198 00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:21,010 Hmm? 199 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,581 Middle child. No one cares about the middle child. 200 00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:28,116 Never, ever gonna change. 201 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,918 Lisa, can I talk to you? 202 00:09:29,953 --> 00:09:31,553 Oh, here it is, the quick check-in 203 00:09:31,587 --> 00:09:33,755 every two years just like clockwork. 204 00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:37,225 All right, let me speak to you in a language you'll understand. 205 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,893 Oh, boy, oh, boy, Lisa never gets it. 206 00:09:39,928 --> 00:09:41,228 She's great, and everyone knows that. 207 00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:43,064 Oh, man, trying to stay mad. 208 00:09:43,098 --> 00:09:44,798 I'm kind of impressed that Dad's making an effort. 209 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,500 It's not really like him. I shouldn't say this. 210 00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:47,835 I should never say this, but I will. 211 00:09:47,869 --> 00:09:49,270 She's my favorite child. 212 00:09:49,304 --> 00:09:51,238 Oh, now he's pulling out the big guns. 213 00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:52,773 Oh, I don't want to pout anymore. 214 00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:54,842 If he offers me ice cream, I'm gonna break. 215 00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:56,977 You want some ice cream? - Yes! 216 00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:58,878 Ice cream. Oh, yeah, it's kid whiskey. I knew he was gonna break. 217 00:09:58,912 --> 00:10:00,880 I'm gonna write a song. That makes them happy, and the best part is... 218 00:10:00,914 --> 00:10:01,567 Is there such a thing as happy blues? 219 00:10:01,591 --> 00:10:03,383 There is now. ...I get some ice cream, too. 220 00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:08,688 Boys, isn't that the ball that she won't play with? 221 00:10:08,722 --> 00:10:11,257 She likes it when Uncle Homer throws it. 222 00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:12,959 He's not your uncle! 223 00:10:12,993 --> 00:10:15,427 So that means I can marry Maggie? 224 00:10:15,462 --> 00:10:16,996 Quit asking me that! 225 00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:21,433 Be ye friend or foe? 226 00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:24,836 Well, be ye? 227 00:10:24,871 --> 00:10:26,771 This is the only place I can go 228 00:10:26,806 --> 00:10:28,273 my mom doesn't know about. 229 00:10:28,308 --> 00:10:29,941 Bart, you know you're always welcome 230 00:10:29,976 --> 00:10:31,709 to come stay in my tree house. 231 00:10:31,743 --> 00:10:33,144 You don't have a tree house. 232 00:10:33,178 --> 00:10:34,812 My dad's gonna build it. 233 00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:36,881 That's why I didn't get a present from him 234 00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:38,682 last birthday and Christmas. 235 00:10:38,717 --> 00:10:41,486 It's gonna be some tree house. 236 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,221 Milhouse, you don't even have a tree. 237 00:10:43,255 --> 00:10:44,655 He's gonna plant it soon. 238 00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,790 He just has to get enough money together 239 00:10:46,825 --> 00:10:48,791 to buy a pack of apple seeds. 240 00:10:48,826 --> 00:10:50,527 Just hand me the Mountain Doo. 241 00:10:50,561 --> 00:10:52,562 Your mom says that makes you bloated. 242 00:10:52,596 --> 00:10:54,331 Give me the damn Doo! 243 00:10:54,365 --> 00:10:56,199 Finally safe from my mom. 244 00:10:56,234 --> 00:10:58,201 She wouldn't want to come way out here 245 00:10:58,236 --> 00:11:00,237 and ruin her dainty little shoes. 246 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,711 When she's got that much hair spray, 247 00:11:09,746 --> 00:11:12,014 nothing can stop her. 248 00:11:12,049 --> 00:11:13,916 How'd you find me? 249 00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:15,551 Spool of thread in your pants. 250 00:11:15,585 --> 00:11:17,053 I'll respool it for you. 251 00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:18,687 I'm good at doing things 252 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:21,389 so I can pretend there isn't a fight going on. 253 00:11:21,424 --> 00:11:23,224 Mom, you have gone too far. 254 00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:26,694 Superman's mom would never go in his Fortress of Solitude! 255 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,364 Actually, the Fortress of Solitude has a statue 256 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,032 of Superman's mother. 257 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:32,867 Stop reading my comics! 258 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,103 I can't help it-- you leave them out everywhere. 259 00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:37,105 When will you leave me alone? 260 00:11:37,139 --> 00:11:39,673 When you tell me about that bulldozer. 261 00:11:39,707 --> 00:11:42,842 I know nothing about that bulldozer! 262 00:11:42,877 --> 00:11:46,380 Milhouse, is there something you know about the bulldozer? 263 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:49,849 Well, I know the bulldozer was invented in 1923 264 00:11:49,884 --> 00:11:52,519 by James Cummings and J. Earl McLeod. 265 00:11:52,554 --> 00:11:56,122 Now, please, let me focus on the thread! 266 00:11:57,391 --> 00:11:59,725 Got to get out. Get to get out. 267 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,896 D'oh! 268 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:06,232 Dad, are you gonna snitch on me? 269 00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:09,469 Moe's before bros! 270 00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:11,471 ♪ 271 00:12:11,505 --> 00:12:14,739 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Mom. 272 00:12:14,773 --> 00:12:16,608 Whoopsy. 273 00:12:28,887 --> 00:12:30,554 Hmm? 274 00:12:30,589 --> 00:12:32,123 Oh! 275 00:12:38,863 --> 00:12:41,232 "Property of Ned Flanders"? 276 00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:43,834 That means you got this from Homer. 277 00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:47,570 Lord, I truly love this dog, 278 00:12:47,605 --> 00:12:49,572 but maybe she'd be happier next door. 279 00:12:49,607 --> 00:12:53,009 But I don't want to give her up unless you think it's the best. 280 00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:56,179 As always, I will interpret the lack of any sort of response 281 00:12:56,213 --> 00:12:57,780 as a sign of thy will. 282 00:13:02,486 --> 00:13:04,853 ♪ 283 00:13:09,058 --> 00:13:10,992 Well, the kid passed through again. 284 00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:13,428 We can all go inside. 285 00:13:13,463 --> 00:13:17,132 ♪ 286 00:13:40,488 --> 00:13:42,055 Nice rowing, Bart. 287 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,456 Good job. 288 00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:45,425 Stop caring about me! 289 00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:51,331 Sweetie, let me help you up. 290 00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:54,567 Your nagging is melting my bones. 291 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,642 Okay, fine! 292 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,378 I'm giving you one more chance, buster. 293 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,480 Tell me about that bulldozer! 294 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,948 What bulldozer? 295 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,849 You're in charge of yourself. 296 00:14:11,883 --> 00:14:13,484 Get home whenever. 297 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,720 My parenting stops now. 298 00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,188 Oh. 299 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,258 Okay, now. 300 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,264 At last! 301 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,365 A way off Lepers Island! 302 00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:29,899 Oh... 303 00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:34,344 Boys, I realize now that Baz would be happier 304 00:14:34,345 --> 00:14:35,813 in another home. 305 00:14:35,847 --> 00:14:39,984 So we're giving her to Ho... Ho... Ho... 306 00:14:40,018 --> 00:14:41,685 We're giving her to Santa? 307 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,120 No! Someone fatter. 308 00:14:43,154 --> 00:14:44,321 Oh, I'm sorry, boys, 309 00:14:44,355 --> 00:14:46,322 that you had to hear that mild insult. 310 00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:48,958 Mild insults are like mild salsa-- 311 00:14:48,993 --> 00:14:50,960 they still burn! 312 00:14:50,995 --> 00:14:53,630 Bart, should I shut the door? 313 00:14:53,664 --> 00:14:55,297 No need. My mom's cool now. 314 00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:57,867 Check it out-- last night, I stayed up till 10:45. 315 00:14:57,901 --> 00:14:59,702 Oh, my God! 316 00:14:59,737 --> 00:15:01,470 I took a picture so I could show everybody. 317 00:15:01,505 --> 00:15:03,605 Now let me show you what I've been planning. 318 00:15:04,874 --> 00:15:06,474 Er, uh, 319 00:15:06,509 --> 00:15:09,811 welcome to our celebration of, er, uh, 320 00:15:09,846 --> 00:15:12,313 our city's lame-o sign. 321 00:15:12,348 --> 00:15:13,581 You nailed him! 322 00:15:24,459 --> 00:15:26,661 "Fie"? Yeah. Look it up. 323 00:15:26,695 --> 00:15:29,263 "Used to express disgust or outrage"? 324 00:15:29,297 --> 00:15:33,000 That's the worst F-word there is! 325 00:15:33,035 --> 00:15:35,036 Bart, I'm not butting in anymore, 326 00:15:35,070 --> 00:15:37,704 so you don't have to hide things under your blanky. 327 00:15:37,738 --> 00:15:39,505 It isn't a blanky anymore. 328 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,274 Hasn't been for three months! 329 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,276 So, we want you to have our dog. 330 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:46,713 You just give her love, and I'll pay for all the shots. 331 00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:48,715 Shots? What, is she going to India? 332 00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:50,249 Bye, Baz. 333 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,093 Aw, geez, I can't stand 334 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,761 to see Flanders sad. 335 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,362 Or happy. 336 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,198 Pretty much can't stand to see Flanders. 337 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,366 But he'll need something to cheer him up 338 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,735 when his boys run away. 339 00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:11,969 You know what, Flanders? 340 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,537 I think you should take her back. 341 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:15,372 Homer, don't be crazy. 342 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,408 Look at that tail wag for you. 343 00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,643 Have you seen what it does for me? 344 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:24,048 No, no, no. To her, I'm just another dog. 345 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,218 A dog she's in love with but can never have. 346 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,485 But she's only got one of you, Flanders-- 347 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,989 the guy who will take care of her forever. 348 00:16:33,024 --> 00:16:34,991 Oh, thank you, Homer. 349 00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:37,928 This has been the happiest dog day afternoon ever. 350 00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:39,196 Aw... 351 00:16:44,768 --> 00:16:48,403 I'm still not sure-- did you do that bulldozer thing before? 352 00:16:48,438 --> 00:16:50,606 You were there. Maybe when I hit you with the blade, 353 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,841 you forgot some stuff. 354 00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:53,175 I was trying to get your attention, 355 00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:54,610 but it was heavier than I thought. 356 00:16:54,644 --> 00:16:56,946 Well, no one fought more than Cummings and McLeod 357 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,480 when they invented the bulldozer. 358 00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:01,483 Even the name "bulldozer" was a great source of... 359 00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:02,617 Aah! 360 00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:04,619 Bart, I can't do this. 361 00:17:04,653 --> 00:17:08,022 No offense, but I have a mother who still loves me. 362 00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,595 We come here today to honor this sign, 363 00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,798 which was purchased, letter by letter, 364 00:17:16,832 --> 00:17:19,032 from other failed towns. 365 00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:22,136 Huh? 366 00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,436 Aw, stupid Mom. 367 00:17:23,471 --> 00:17:25,605 Stuck something in my backpack. 368 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,641 Typical. 369 00:17:28,843 --> 00:17:32,112 Oh, man, she makes good chicken. 370 00:17:32,147 --> 00:17:35,382 You're the best boy a mom could want. 371 00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:39,051 I've failed as a mother! 372 00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:45,624 I'm growing a conscience! 373 00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:48,027 I've got to change this prank. 374 00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:55,033 Much better. 375 00:17:56,435 --> 00:17:59,137 Our iconic sign is aquiver! 376 00:17:59,172 --> 00:18:01,673 Everyone remain calm. 377 00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,842 This is a part of the show. 378 00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,944 VIP's, follow me. 379 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,880 Much better. 380 00:18:08,915 --> 00:18:11,348 I don't seen nothing wrong. 381 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,354 Better to die a VIP 382 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:20,691 than to live as an ordinary American citizen. 383 00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:26,063 It says "F-D." 384 00:18:26,097 --> 00:18:28,198 It's a tribute to the fire department. 385 00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:33,069 The chili-cooking saints of the city! 386 00:18:33,103 --> 00:18:35,205 It's true-- we do love our chili. 387 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,106 The secret is stirring it. 388 00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:39,742 I'm a huge fan. That's why I wear suspenders 389 00:18:39,776 --> 00:18:41,744 and start little fires here and there. 390 00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,379 Mom, Mom... 391 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,447 I learned there's a line I won't cross, 392 00:18:45,481 --> 00:18:47,782 and it's 'cause of you and your chicken. 393 00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:50,052 That woman does make convincing chicken. 394 00:18:50,086 --> 00:18:53,355 You're the best boy a mother could want... 395 00:18:53,389 --> 00:18:56,024 if you tell me about the bulldozer. 396 00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:57,525 All right. It was me. 397 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,028 Why, you little... 398 00:19:03,398 --> 00:19:06,734 Yeah, harder to strangle than it looks, isn't it, Marge? 399 00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:08,135 Oh... 400 00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:10,137 And you're under arrest. 401 00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:12,806 How'd you figure it out? I heard you say it. 402 00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:14,909 The only way I solve any crime. 403 00:19:14,943 --> 00:19:17,178 You don't have to stop hugging. 404 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,545 So you see, Mom, 405 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,213 because of the wrinkled lay-down paper 406 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,716 in the nurse's office, I got mono. 407 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,685 You really should've kept your eyes on that ball. 408 00:19:29,719 --> 00:19:31,886 Oh, all these problems. 409 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,055 You kids are like whack-a-moles. 410 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:35,624 Oh, that reminds me. 411 00:19:35,658 --> 00:19:38,159 Maggie hurt herself playing whack-a-mole. 412 00:19:38,194 --> 00:19:39,328 Aw. 413 00:19:48,169 --> 00:19:50,137 Come here, you. 414 00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:52,640 Come here. I know I've been having my fun elsewhere, 415 00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:55,743 and no one could blame you if you didn't take me back, 416 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:58,312 but if you'll have me, I'll take you 417 00:19:58,347 --> 00:20:01,548 on the longest walk of your life! 418 00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:04,050 No hills. 419 00:20:04,084 --> 00:20:07,821 Dogs-- so easy to make up with. 420 00:20:30,175 --> 00:20:33,944 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 421 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:26,361 Shh!