1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:05,634 ♪ The Simpsons 26x20 ♪ Let's Go Fly a Coot Original Air Date on May 3, 2015 2 00:00:08,752 --> 00:00:10,119 D'oh! 3 00:00:19,221 --> 00:00:25,421 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 4 00:00:27,117 --> 00:00:28,949 Lewis, my man. 5 00:00:28,983 --> 00:00:30,582 Present table's over there. 6 00:00:32,025 --> 00:00:34,089 Make sure you hit the Squishee station. 7 00:00:34,123 --> 00:00:36,659 They mixed up a custom flavor just for me! 8 00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:45,893 These kids' birthday parties have gotten out of control. 9 00:00:45,927 --> 00:00:47,894 How can a normal family compete? 10 00:00:47,928 --> 00:00:49,662 They rented chairs. 11 00:00:49,696 --> 00:00:51,861 The kind with puffy seats! 12 00:00:51,895 --> 00:00:54,028 And check out this gift bag. 13 00:00:54,062 --> 00:00:55,731 Full-size candy bars, 14 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:59,036 hummingbird in a plastic bag, a CD 15 00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:00,870 of The Gay Men's Chorus of Springfield 16 00:01:00,904 --> 00:01:03,208 singing "Happy Birthday, Milhouse." 17 00:01:03,242 --> 00:01:06,250 Dad, I want self-driving mini-cars at my next birthday! 18 00:01:06,284 --> 00:01:08,788 To the petting zoo! 19 00:01:08,822 --> 00:01:10,895 That would cost a fortune! 20 00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,328 Who do you think I am, a professional bowler? 21 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,100 It's worth it to see my son 22 00:01:17,142 --> 00:01:20,039 as spoiled and ungrateful as the richest brat in town. 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,646 Dad, 24 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,343 you were supposed to cut this cheese 25 00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:25,311 in the shape of Pokémon characters. 26 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,849 You said you wanted Disney's Muppets! 27 00:01:27,891 --> 00:01:30,428 That was the meeting before the last meeting! 28 00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:35,295 This birthday party arms race is unsustainable. 29 00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:39,608 Unless... the sanest man in town declared war on these parties 30 00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:42,408 in a last best attempt to bring things back to normal. 31 00:01:42,442 --> 00:01:45,241 I will secretly destroy these children's birthdays, 32 00:01:45,282 --> 00:01:47,281 or die trying. 33 00:01:58,663 --> 00:02:00,461 Two of... several animals! 34 00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:02,535 Looks like it's time to build me an ark. 35 00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:06,538 Rice cakes?! 36 00:02:06,579 --> 00:02:08,106 I pronounce this party dead. 37 00:02:08,148 --> 00:02:09,475 Nurse, note the time. 38 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,758 Time to make 50 bucks. 39 00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:20,159 ♪ Yah-dah, dah-dat... ♪ 40 00:02:20,193 --> 00:02:21,726 Ooh! 41 00:02:23,264 --> 00:02:24,462 Look at that. 42 00:02:24,496 --> 00:02:26,367 Let's see what else is in the noose. 43 00:02:27,634 --> 00:02:31,440 I was the last kid on Earth who liked clowns. 44 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,713 Homer Simpson, do you know anything 45 00:02:34,747 --> 00:02:36,345 about these epic birthday fails? 46 00:02:36,379 --> 00:02:38,513 ; Just what I read in the papers. 47 00:02:38,547 --> 00:02:41,450 You did suck the helium out of all these balloons! 48 00:02:41,484 --> 00:02:43,650 All right, Marge, maybe I did cut the strings 49 00:02:43,692 --> 00:02:45,586 on a few party hats, but when I was a kid, 50 00:02:45,628 --> 00:02:47,963 a birthday party was nothing more than a supermarket cake 51 00:02:47,997 --> 00:02:49,859 and sticking pins in a donkey's butt. 52 00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:53,196 And we looked forward to it 53 00:02:53,230 --> 00:02:55,203 for one whole year. 54 00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:56,900 And the gift bag was... 55 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,740 You didn't need a frickin' gift bag, 56 00:02:58,774 --> 00:03:01,844 because you just went to a frickin' party! 57 00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:03,108 You have a point. 58 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,709 But when the bounce house renters 59 00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:07,646 and the pony ride operators find out what you've done... 60 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,350 Mm.... 61 00:03:09,384 --> 00:03:12,919 I'm not afraid of Big Birthday. 62 00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:16,497 Big Birthday! 63 00:03:19,236 --> 00:03:23,139 You have meddled with the primal forces of nurture, 64 00:03:23,173 --> 00:03:26,507 Mr. Simpson, and I won't have it! 65 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:29,043 Do you think you just stopped a few lavish parties? 66 00:03:29,077 --> 00:03:30,443 Oh, no, sir. 67 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:34,483 There is simply one endless birthday celebration 68 00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:39,988 where everyone gets a gift bag and no parent gets off easy. 69 00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,156 Do you think this country makes cars anymore? 70 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,156 Do you think we smelt steel? 71 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,324 No. The only thing we do 72 00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:48,861 is throw elaborate children's cotillions 73 00:03:48,902 --> 00:03:50,869 with enormous inedible cakes 74 00:03:50,903 --> 00:03:54,405 out from whence Yale graduates pop! 75 00:03:54,439 --> 00:03:57,069 Eh. 76 00:03:57,111 --> 00:04:01,174 Mr. Simpson, the very fabric of our existence is birthdays! 77 00:04:01,216 --> 00:04:03,510 The quarks and bosons of your soul? 78 00:04:03,552 --> 00:04:05,550 Birthdays! 79 00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:08,982 You have tried to unwind the world, 80 00:04:09,024 --> 00:04:11,886 and you... will... atone! 81 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:12,920 Sorry. 82 00:04:12,928 --> 00:04:14,494 You will be sorry. 83 00:04:14,529 --> 00:04:17,495 We are officially blacklisting you, my friend. 84 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:21,031 Your children will never have a balloon animal maker 85 00:04:21,065 --> 00:04:24,304 or customized cake again! 86 00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:26,336 No! No! 87 00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:28,505 No-oh-oh-oh! 88 00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:31,316 I don't want to live. 89 00:04:31,351 --> 00:04:33,783 Not their birthdays! Take Easter! 90 00:04:33,825 --> 00:04:35,488 Easter's nothing. 91 00:04:35,522 --> 00:04:38,827 Geez, kids, I guess you've had your last birthday. 92 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,067 You're gonna stay your current ages 93 00:04:41,102 --> 00:04:43,068 for the rest of your lives. 94 00:04:43,102 --> 00:04:44,773 Please. I'll do anything. 95 00:04:44,807 --> 00:04:46,038 All right. 96 00:04:46,072 --> 00:04:49,008 The next birthday that comes up in this town is, uh, 97 00:04:49,049 --> 00:04:51,281 Rod Flanders, 98 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:54,355 and you have to throw him a party. 99 00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:55,691 Oh. 100 00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,892 Um, how bad do you kids want birthdays? 101 00:04:57,926 --> 00:04:59,155 Dad! 102 00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:01,859 How bad do you want to sleep in Saturdays? 103 00:05:03,197 --> 00:05:04,763 Hey, hey, hey, I was just kidding around. 104 00:05:04,797 --> 00:05:06,595 You know that. I was just... 105 00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:08,035 You have a deal. 106 00:05:08,069 --> 00:05:09,466 Let me make this clear. 107 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:12,138 This event has to be magical. 108 00:05:12,172 --> 00:05:13,706 You mean, hire a magician? 109 00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,369 No, no, no. Magical. 110 00:05:15,411 --> 00:05:19,609 Magical events change people's lives forever. 111 00:05:29,722 --> 00:05:33,120 Welcome to Rod Flanders' birthday party. 112 00:05:33,154 --> 00:05:36,960 I'm your host Homer Simpson, and I can't take it anymore! 113 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:39,663 Stupid golden age of flight! 114 00:05:39,698 --> 00:05:42,432 Mmm. I love you, mean neighbor! 115 00:05:42,466 --> 00:05:44,368 Attention partygoers! 116 00:05:44,402 --> 00:05:48,271 Prepare for the arrival of our guest of honor... Lulu! 117 00:05:48,305 --> 00:05:51,840 This majestic B-17 has been lovingly restored 118 00:05:51,874 --> 00:05:53,944 by the same World War Two veterans 119 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:57,544 who see her every night in their horrible flashbacks. 120 00:06:00,618 --> 00:06:03,287 Thanks for coming out and... 121 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,191 Abe Simpson?! 122 00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:12,462 That's Mach Ridley, my old Air Force buddy! 123 00:06:12,496 --> 00:06:14,294 You said you were in the Army. 124 00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:16,198 You said you were in the Navy. 125 00:06:16,232 --> 00:06:17,901 That's the kind of mix-up that used to happen 126 00:06:17,935 --> 00:06:19,765 when I was in the Marines. 127 00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:22,870 So, what brings you boys to Springfield? 128 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,405 Uh, we just want to make sure kids have a chance 129 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:27,341 to meet one of the lovely ladies 130 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,245 that brought freedom to the world. 131 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,541 Why are planes and boats always women? 132 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,717 Because they require a lot of upkeep 133 00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:36,086 and a firm hand at the controls. 134 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,917 I knew there'd be a sexist joke behind it. 135 00:06:37,951 --> 00:06:39,149 I knew it! 136 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,085 Abe, can you join us for a drink? 137 00:06:41,127 --> 00:06:42,526 I'm sorry, guys. 138 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,760 My dad can't handle that much excitement. 139 00:06:44,794 --> 00:06:47,466 Please, son. I want to gab about the days 140 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,173 when nurses kissed ya instead of beating ya. 141 00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:53,279 Now, Dad, memory lane's not what it used to be. 142 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,144 If you hang out with your old buddies, 143 00:06:55,178 --> 00:06:58,522 it'll remind you of when you were a proud stallion 144 00:06:58,556 --> 00:07:01,155 instead of a broken-down nag. 145 00:07:04,061 --> 00:07:06,227 That's the lack of spirit. 146 00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,834 Look at how he treats his own father. 147 00:07:11,868 --> 00:07:13,970 Like we used to treat P.O.W.s 148 00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,969 when the Red Cross wasn't looking. 149 00:07:17,474 --> 00:07:20,472 Boys, I think we have one last mission. 150 00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,147 Make a wish, Roddy. 151 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,147 I'll never grow up and marry Daddy! 152 00:07:30,917 --> 00:07:32,291 Very amusing. 153 00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:36,323 Whoa! 154 00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:38,491 I've seen all I need to see. 155 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,499 But just in case, the face. 156 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,667 Oh! 157 00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:44,132 May I chuckle in Dutch? 158 00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:47,341 Bart, meet my cousin from the Netherlands, Annika. 159 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:48,805 Isn't she gorgeous? 160 00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:53,174 Whoa! You smoke? 161 00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,182 It's an e-cigarette. 162 00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,783 Care to vape? 163 00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,521 Don't you want to be one of the cool kinderen? 164 00:08:10,972 --> 00:08:12,466 Refreshing. 165 00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:17,371 Hey, look at you guys, still not dead. 166 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,139 Good for you. 167 00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:21,011 Mister, we're gonna pound your thick skull 168 00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:22,379 till you treat your father 169 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,714 with the kindness every human being deserves. 170 00:08:24,748 --> 00:08:27,080 Do your worst, you old goats. 171 00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:31,348 This won't be a tropical vacation like Iwo Jima. 172 00:08:31,382 --> 00:08:33,578 It's you and me, Blubber McGee. 173 00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:34,881 Ha! 174 00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:38,350 Oh. 175 00:08:45,756 --> 00:08:48,417 You done girly punching? Yes. 176 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:56,765 Once again, I win at Sjoelbak. 177 00:08:56,799 --> 00:08:58,501 Everybody's got one gift. 178 00:08:58,535 --> 00:09:02,070 Mine is portable indoor Dutch shuffleboard. 179 00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:07,782 Bart, I'm out of cartridges. 180 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,678 Be my little almond cookie and run down to the Kwik-E-Mart. 181 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:11,918 Hup, hup. 182 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,085 You can kiss me. 183 00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:17,254 Oh, that felt so good. 184 00:09:17,288 --> 00:09:19,990 Now you know what nuzzling me would be like. 185 00:09:20,024 --> 00:09:21,726 Now not so good. 186 00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:25,060 Five packs of e-cigs, Apu. E-cigs? 187 00:09:25,094 --> 00:09:27,059 Although legal for children in this state, 188 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,065 you are asking for a nicotine delivery device 189 00:09:30,099 --> 00:09:32,097 that could quite possibly leave you breathing 190 00:09:32,131 --> 00:09:33,601 through a hole in your neck. 191 00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,242 Eat your spinach, Bart. 192 00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,706 Ha, ha, ha, ha! 193 00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,178 Ay carumba! 194 00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,714 Cool! I was just doing this for a girl, 195 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,747 but give me two more packs for myself. 196 00:09:44,781 --> 00:09:48,453 Oh, you have the right, but remember, this is not kid stuff. 197 00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,253 Now, would you like bubblegum flavor, 198 00:09:50,287 --> 00:09:52,957 strawberry shortcake or watermelon dream? 199 00:09:52,991 --> 00:09:54,990 Homer, you're late! 200 00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:57,830 In the Air Force, when we showed up late, people died. 201 00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,998 When we showed up on time, other people died. 202 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,230 The right people. 203 00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:02,799 Homer J. Simpson, 204 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,703 if I wasn't wearing my smiling teeth, I'd look very angry. 205 00:10:08,472 --> 00:10:09,878 Hangar those choppers, airman. 206 00:10:09,912 --> 00:10:12,046 Now, the best way to get to know each other is 207 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,150 to share a rugged outdoor activity. Suggestions? 208 00:10:15,184 --> 00:10:17,414 Movie. Well, we could walk to the theater. 209 00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,063 Drive. 210 00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:20,050 Well, at least we can walk to a seat at the top. 211 00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:21,421 Handicap seat. 212 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,325 Companion chair. 213 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,997 Ooh, previews! 214 00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:30,965 ♪ ♪ 215 00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:33,868 In a dystopian future... 216 00:10:33,903 --> 00:10:36,802 Finally! A movie about a dystopian future, 217 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:40,263 unlike The Hunger Games, Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion, 218 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:42,567 Elysium, Snow Piercer, 219 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,765 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, 220 00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:47,802 X-Men: Days of Future Past, Enders Game... 221 00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:50,168 The Road, World War Z, Children of Men, 222 00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:52,166 After Earth, I Am Legend, 223 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:54,572 Mad Max: Fury Road, The Maze Runner, 224 00:10:54,606 --> 00:10:57,971 District Nine, The Purge, Looper, Cloud Atlas, 225 00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:00,139 Divergent, Insurgent, The Island, 226 00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:03,875 Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play, and Chappie. 227 00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:07,083 Sir, the movie's been over for 20 minutes. 228 00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:08,948 You'll have to clear out of the theater 229 00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:11,356 and come back for the next show. D'oh! 230 00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:15,590 So, you are the best America could send 231 00:11:15,624 --> 00:11:17,927 to stop Sheik Abu Nadal Abdul 232 00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:20,832 Nabal Nabu Dubal Nabadul Kashik? 233 00:11:20,866 --> 00:11:23,232 I'd like to request a hip replacement: 234 00:11:23,274 --> 00:11:25,104 yours. 235 00:11:25,138 --> 00:11:27,176 I was a fool to fight America. 236 00:11:30,946 --> 00:11:32,279 Homer, take me to the bathroom. 237 00:11:32,313 --> 00:11:33,847 What? Are you crazy? 238 00:11:33,881 --> 00:11:36,015 If you love your father, you'll make sure he doesn't 239 00:11:36,049 --> 00:11:38,782 get disoriented trying to work the knob-less faucet. 240 00:11:38,816 --> 00:11:41,719 I'm too cold to trigger the infrared. 241 00:11:53,202 --> 00:11:55,872 You were in there for 25 minutes! 242 00:11:55,906 --> 00:11:58,040 I thought the mirror was another movie. 243 00:11:58,074 --> 00:12:00,272 You made me miss the denouement! 244 00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:03,241 Homer, I think it's time I showed you something. 245 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,776 I get it. 246 00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:08,448 You brought me here to show me 247 00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:11,416 how much Grampa went through for people like me. 248 00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,584 No, we brought you here 249 00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,688 'cause we're gonna set you straight once and for all. 250 00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,023 I think I just went W.W. Two. 251 00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:22,391 All right, all right. 252 00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,166 I love my father. 253 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,830 And if that makes me less of a man, so be it. 254 00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:32,071 Dad, I apologize. 255 00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,672 I only say this at gunpoint, but it's true: 256 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:35,840 I love you. 257 00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:36,840 Oh. 258 00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:39,448 But it's been a long night... 259 00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:41,352 I did not say "at ease." 260 00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:45,584 Fear-- that's how we, the greatest generation, 261 00:12:45,618 --> 00:12:47,823 raised you, the worst generation. 262 00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:51,928 My turn! 263 00:12:53,826 --> 00:12:55,528 God, I love spijkerpoepen. 264 00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:57,463 Annika, you've introduced me 265 00:12:57,497 --> 00:12:59,495 to a whole new world of butt games. 266 00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:03,039 And you've introduced me to a world of un-milled wind, 267 00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,175 a game called "baseball" 268 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,904 that is neither fun nor fittening, 269 00:13:06,946 --> 00:13:08,840 and private-use bicycles. 270 00:13:08,882 --> 00:13:13,312 Still, you are small and cute like Lichtenstein. 271 00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:14,783 Now vape up. 272 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,384 Bart Simpson! 273 00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:21,656 It's still legal in this state! 274 00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,920 The bill's stuck in committee. 275 00:13:22,962 --> 00:13:26,161 God, you just can't protect your kids enough. 276 00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:33,414 Mmm. 277 00:13:33,448 --> 00:13:34,550 Sharing a beer. 278 00:13:34,584 --> 00:13:37,687 Just like we did after your first merit badge. 279 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,422 Ah, yes, basketry. 280 00:13:40,457 --> 00:13:42,023 Aw... Aw... 281 00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,791 I still have what I made. 282 00:13:44,832 --> 00:13:45,798 D'oh! 283 00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:47,062 Bart's smoking! 284 00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,134 E-cigarettes! 285 00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:50,670 Oh, those are totally legal. 286 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,933 Tell me, does he like bubblegum or strawberry? 287 00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:54,701 He doesn't even want to. 288 00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,603 He's doing it to impress a girl. 289 00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:58,771 They're sending Annika back to Holland! 290 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,441 She was just about to teach me to Dutch kiss. 291 00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:03,008 Stuck on a girl, eh? 292 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,776 I know a story that'll fix you right up. 293 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,048 It was the 1950s... 294 00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:09,784 suitcases were hard, 295 00:14:09,818 --> 00:14:12,954 mid-century architecture had indoor-outdoor flow 296 00:14:12,988 --> 00:14:15,660 and the world was our garbage basket. 297 00:14:24,005 --> 00:14:25,771 Nature will take it. 298 00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,009 Mach was a test pilot 299 00:14:29,043 --> 00:14:31,441 and I had a crucial job, too: 300 00:14:31,483 --> 00:14:33,776 keeping desert turtles off the runway. 301 00:14:33,818 --> 00:14:35,215 Shoo! Shoo, now! 302 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,510 Just pick them up! 303 00:14:36,552 --> 00:14:38,078 Uh... they feel weird. 304 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,149 At night, we cooled off at the local watering hole, 305 00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,053 where they gave you a free steak dinner 306 00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:45,251 if'n you set a new speed record and lived. 307 00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:50,993 If you died, your widow got surf and turf. 308 00:14:51,027 --> 00:14:53,687 Meanwhile, I was trying to make time 309 00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:57,863 with the only cocktail waitress on a base full of heroes. 310 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,198 We called her "Sunny" 311 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,366 'cause she was bright and yellow. 312 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,703 And if you got too close, you got burned? 313 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,703 Who's telling this story, you or me?! 314 00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,135 I hope it's you. 315 00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:09,271 Okay, well, I would imagine 316 00:15:09,305 --> 00:15:11,943 as you were flirting with Sunny, Mach came up. 317 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,207 Uh-huh, go on. 318 00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:14,815 And asked her to dance? 319 00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:16,878 Ooh, I did not see that coming! 320 00:15:16,912 --> 00:15:20,119 ♪ ♪ 321 00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,951 Mach was scheduled to test-fly a new fighter plane. 322 00:15:22,985 --> 00:15:25,519 And then I heard something I shouldn't have. 323 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:26,855 Colonel, with all due respect, 324 00:15:26,889 --> 00:15:28,624 that new jet is a deathtrap. 325 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,896 It's the 1950s. 326 00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,464 Everything's a deathtrap. 327 00:15:33,498 --> 00:15:34,936 Now have three martinis, 328 00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,800 a pack of smokes, and get in that plane. 329 00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:39,640 I'm not quite sure why I did what I did next. 330 00:15:39,674 --> 00:15:42,041 Did I want Sunny to see me in a different light? 331 00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,880 Or had they tested a little too much LSD on me 332 00:15:44,914 --> 00:15:46,912 the night before without me knowing it? 333 00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,551 Abraham Simpson, you damn fool! 334 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,887 When did you learn how to fly? 335 00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:55,887 When you're in the Air Force for ten years, 336 00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:57,286 you learn a few things. 337 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,326 Ah! What the hell just happened? 338 00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:11,070 It was as if I could see the face of God. 339 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,038 Oh, boy. 340 00:16:16,944 --> 00:16:21,180 At 50,000 feet, amazing things happen. 341 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,844 The frigid air forms 342 00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:27,285 a beautiful rainbow of ice crystals in your lungs. 343 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,421 D'oh! 344 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,789 Luckily, my frozen hand on the stick 345 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,093 was exactly what that plane needed. 346 00:16:33,127 --> 00:16:36,957 That day, I broke the sound barrier and then some. 347 00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:43,100 Oh! My highball glasses. 348 00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:45,268 I headed back to tell the base 349 00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:48,205 there wasn't one damn thing wrong with that plane. 350 00:16:50,407 --> 00:16:52,405 This is gonna take some fancy flyin'. 351 00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:03,557 I hitched a ride back to the base 352 00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:06,293 with a young feller who was hoping to be a writer. 353 00:17:08,631 --> 00:17:10,493 Thanks for the ride, Jack Kerouac. 354 00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,661 Could you please mail this polished final draft 355 00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,426 of my novel to my publisher? 356 00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:17,263 And here's my rambling, repetitive first draft. 357 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,662 Promise me you'll destroy it, 358 00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:21,598 so no one will ever read this total gibberish. 359 00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:28,467 Boy, was he mad when he read that book. 360 00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,435 Started drinking like a fish. 361 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:33,170 I was about to reel one in. 362 00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:38,073 So, you want to marry a glamorous flyboy? 363 00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:40,977 Or the dummy who tried to save him? 364 00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:43,081 I'm a sucker for reckless nitwits. 365 00:17:43,115 --> 00:17:45,081 Aw, Mona. 366 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:46,417 Shut up and kiss me. 367 00:17:46,451 --> 00:17:48,818 Seriously, I'm already tired of your voice. 368 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,859 Mona? 369 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,795 Sunny is Mona Simpson? 370 00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:53,091 Homer's mother? 371 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:54,995 Gee, she wasn't too sunny when I knew her. 372 00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,499 Although she really cheered up after she left you forever. 373 00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:58,962 That's the point! 374 00:17:59,004 --> 00:18:02,433 If you make a grand gesture, you can get any girl you want, 375 00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,633 even if she's completely wrong for you. 376 00:18:04,675 --> 00:18:06,768 But it won't last if you're pretending 377 00:18:06,809 --> 00:18:08,839 to be someone you're not. 378 00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:10,039 I see. 379 00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:11,509 I've got to make a grand gesture. 380 00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:13,739 And her flight boards in 38 minutes. 381 00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,936 And KLM is never late! 382 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,339 He didn't get a single word. 383 00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:22,306 You got the point, didn't you, son? 384 00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,945 Um, you used to work with turtles? 385 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,040 Yeah, that's pretty much it. 386 00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:29,678 I used to work with turtles. 387 00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:31,780 ♪ ♪ 388 00:18:58,375 --> 00:18:59,973 Annika! Wait! 389 00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:01,844 Before you leave-- I couldn't live with myself 390 00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:04,244 if I didn't at least try to tell you how I feel. 391 00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:05,580 A grand gesture. 392 00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:06,716 How American. 393 00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,716 I don't actually like you. 394 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,684 You're only pleasant when you want something. 395 00:19:10,718 --> 00:19:12,020 You've been in this country three weeks 396 00:19:12,054 --> 00:19:13,155 and you hated everything. 397 00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:14,155 That's not true. 398 00:19:14,189 --> 00:19:15,283 I liked that there were 399 00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:16,723 new things here to complain about. 400 00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,755 Well, I'm really relieved you're leaving. 401 00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,722 And take these poison pen lights with you! 402 00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:26,666 Oh, thank God! 403 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,835 I'm so tired of breathing clean air! 404 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,444 Rejected by a friend of Milhouse. 405 00:19:34,478 --> 00:19:37,380 I will change into the striped leggings of shame. 406 00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:46,556 If it's the blue hair and the schnozz you're digging, 407 00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,389 I've got plenty more cousins. 408 00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:49,893 Thanks, Milhouse. 409 00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,725 I think I'm gonna steer clear of Van Houtens for a while. 410 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,325 More for me. 411 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,661 Marrying a cousin worked out great for my parents. 412 00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,397 Storm's a-comin'. 413 00:20:02,863 --> 00:20:05,823 Homer, it's time for us to go. We've got an air show in Reno, 414 00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:07,590 where the silver-haired foxes 415 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,958 are as common as Frisbees on the Jersey shore. 416 00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:10,957 Come on, Dad. 417 00:20:10,991 --> 00:20:12,829 In honor of that record you broke, 418 00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:16,227 I'm gonna cook you the thickest steak of your life. 419 00:20:16,261 --> 00:20:17,531 Thank you, son. 420 00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:20,834 But the days when I can eat a steak are long gone. 421 00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:22,433 I wouldn't be so sure. 422 00:20:31,609 --> 00:20:34,143 No. Still too tough. 423 00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:42,887 Aw, that's the best steak I ever breathed. 424 00:20:42,921 --> 00:20:44,687 I'm full. 425 00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:52,178 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 426 00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:32,989 Shh!