1 00:00:01,291 --> 00:00:05,291 ♪ The Simpsons 26x21 ♪ Bull-E Original Air Date on May 10, 2015 2 00:00:05,292 --> 00:00:11,592 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 3 00:00:11,635 --> 00:00:12,667 D'oh! 4 00:00:19,376 --> 00:00:20,542 Seymour. 5 00:00:20,577 --> 00:00:22,911 I'm here to tell ya I'm returning to Scotland 6 00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,713 and you'll never see me again. 7 00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:27,048 But I have hand-picked my replacement. 8 00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,384 Mr. Johnny Mathis. 9 00:00:29,419 --> 00:00:32,187 ♪ Chances are ♪ 10 00:00:32,222 --> 00:00:35,423 ♪ I will give this hedge a trim ♪ 11 00:00:35,459 --> 00:00:39,127 ♪ And I will kill the gophers, too ♪ 12 00:00:41,665 --> 00:00:43,932 Mmm. So beautiful. 13 00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:50,438 You're late for school. 14 00:00:50,474 --> 00:00:52,240 And Friday's lunch 15 00:00:52,276 --> 00:00:54,776 will be fish sticks, peas... 16 00:00:54,811 --> 00:00:56,545 I'll finish those morning announcements. 17 00:00:57,915 --> 00:00:59,047 And lime Jell-O. 18 00:00:59,082 --> 00:01:00,282 Pathetic. 19 00:01:00,317 --> 00:01:02,384 Also, Friday night is the school dance. 20 00:01:02,419 --> 00:01:05,287 And that's a treat for the, uh, popular children, 21 00:01:05,322 --> 00:01:07,822 and a chance for the rest of you to look within yourselves 22 00:01:07,858 --> 00:01:09,424 and ask what's wrong. 23 00:01:09,459 --> 00:01:13,128 Seymour. Let me know if you make a BM today. 24 00:01:13,997 --> 00:01:15,497 Oh, 25 00:01:15,532 --> 00:01:18,900 my special little guy's first school dance. 26 00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:21,736 Why do I have to go to some stupid dance? 27 00:01:21,772 --> 00:01:23,371 It makes just standing around with your friends 28 00:01:23,407 --> 00:01:25,207 feel like you're a loser. 29 00:01:26,877 --> 00:01:29,311 Bart, some of your biggest heroes are dancers. 30 00:01:29,346 --> 00:01:31,346 Krusty was on Dancing with the Stars 31 00:01:31,381 --> 00:01:34,649 until a panel of experts determined he wasn't a star. 32 00:01:34,685 --> 00:01:37,252 Dad, help me. 33 00:01:37,287 --> 00:01:40,088 Son, for the rest of your life, 34 00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:42,691 you're going to go to all sorts of horrible events 35 00:01:42,726 --> 00:01:44,993 just to spend time with girls. 36 00:01:45,028 --> 00:01:48,296 Dances, stores, your wedding. 37 00:01:48,332 --> 00:01:49,965 You don't like those things? 38 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,600 Oh, no. No, no, honey. 39 00:01:51,635 --> 00:01:53,969 I love everything you force me do. 40 00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:56,004 And sometimes if you do all that, 41 00:01:56,039 --> 00:01:58,773 you get a very special night. 42 00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:00,875 And what does that get you? 43 00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,110 Hopefully, not a you. 44 00:02:02,145 --> 00:02:04,946 ♪ Not gonna make another Bart tonight ♪ 45 00:02:04,982 --> 00:02:07,616 ♪ If I do it right, no more Barts tonight ♪ 46 00:02:07,651 --> 00:02:08,883 ♪ No more Barts ♪ 47 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,220 ♪ Tonight... ♪ 48 00:02:12,256 --> 00:02:13,321 ♪ No Barts! ♪ 49 00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:14,422 Hmm? 50 00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:15,724 Hmm. 51 00:02:15,759 --> 00:02:18,693 And... done. Proud of you boys. 52 00:02:18,729 --> 00:02:21,229 Thanks for painting my fence, Stupid Flanders. 53 00:02:21,265 --> 00:02:23,164 Homer Simpson, reorder that border. 54 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,799 We've been painting since sunup. 55 00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:26,301 Half the fence is mine. 56 00:02:26,336 --> 00:02:29,537 Fine. Let the good Lord decide. 57 00:02:29,573 --> 00:02:31,806 D'oh! Woo-hoo! D'oh! Woo-hoo! 58 00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,241 D'oh! Woo-hoo! 59 00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:35,076 Now I say good day. 60 00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:36,645 Good day, Homer. 61 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,079 I said good day. 62 00:02:39,483 --> 00:02:41,716 Well, if it isn't the Frown Princes of Gloomania. 63 00:02:41,752 --> 00:02:43,151 What's wrong, boys? 64 00:02:43,186 --> 00:02:45,820 Uncle Homer's not nice to you. 65 00:02:45,856 --> 00:02:48,690 Your name's not Stupid. It's Ned. 66 00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:49,924 Whoa, there, Roddy. 67 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,593 Someone's getting a little too familiar. 68 00:02:51,628 --> 00:02:53,461 Sorry, Mr. Daddy. 69 00:02:54,865 --> 00:02:57,432 Time to hop aboard the 70 00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:00,535 School... Train. 71 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,871 School Train? 72 00:03:16,753 --> 00:03:18,853 I'm going to die, children. 73 00:03:18,889 --> 00:03:20,855 And so will you someday. 74 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:32,434 ♪ ♪ 75 00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,712 Thanks a lot, Bart. 76 00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:46,448 That orange drink machine was my mom's fiancé's 77 00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:48,450 only source of income. 78 00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:53,822 What a relief. This dance has turned into a fight. 79 00:03:53,857 --> 00:03:55,590 Would you dance with me? 80 00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:58,493 Where'd you come from? Fifth grade. 81 00:03:58,528 --> 00:04:00,929 Be careful, Bart. If you take her hand now... 82 00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:03,765 Your puberty has started! 83 00:04:06,336 --> 00:04:07,969 Who the hell are you? 84 00:04:08,004 --> 00:04:11,639 I am the puberty demon. 85 00:04:13,176 --> 00:04:15,009 For a thousand lifetimes of man, 86 00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:18,613 I have been going through changes I don't understand. 87 00:04:20,150 --> 00:04:23,351 You can join me if you just take her hand. 88 00:04:23,387 --> 00:04:25,353 I'd certainly like to help a demon, but I... 89 00:04:25,389 --> 00:04:28,089 Do it. Enter the world of body spray, 90 00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:31,459 wiry hairs and wondering what boobs feel like. 91 00:04:31,495 --> 00:04:32,694 Do you know? 92 00:04:32,729 --> 00:04:34,996 Sure, sure. Of course I do. 93 00:04:35,031 --> 00:04:36,865 ♪ She's up all night to the sun ♪ 94 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,066 Eh, why not? 95 00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,068 ♪ I'm up all night to get some ♪ 96 00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:41,970 ♪ She's up all night for good fun ♪ 97 00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:44,038 ♪ I'm up all night to get lucky ♪ 98 00:04:44,074 --> 00:04:45,940 ♪ We're up all night to the sun ♪ 99 00:04:45,976 --> 00:04:47,842 ♪ We're up all night to get some ♪ 100 00:04:47,878 --> 00:04:50,211 ♪ We're up all night for good fun ♪ 101 00:04:50,247 --> 00:04:52,080 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 102 00:04:52,115 --> 00:04:54,349 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 103 00:04:54,384 --> 00:04:56,217 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 104 00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:58,086 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 105 00:04:58,121 --> 00:05:00,221 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 106 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:02,490 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 107 00:05:02,526 --> 00:05:04,859 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 108 00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:06,694 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky ♪ 109 00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,496 ♪ We're up all night to get lucky. ♪ 110 00:05:08,532 --> 00:05:10,999 Huh? 111 00:05:11,034 --> 00:05:13,034 I'll have him good as new. 112 00:05:13,069 --> 00:05:15,069 I just have to get me hammers. 113 00:05:17,073 --> 00:05:18,873 Bart Simpson. 114 00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:20,909 This is for you. 115 00:05:20,944 --> 00:05:23,478 I'll meet you outside. 116 00:05:25,749 --> 00:05:27,182 Hey, look. 117 00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:28,716 It's someone who does stuff. 118 00:05:28,752 --> 00:05:30,485 The bullies' natural enemy. 119 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,687 Nice dancing, Bart. Hey, knock it off! 120 00:05:32,722 --> 00:05:34,889 You're a real leotard. 121 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,027 That works on two levels. 122 00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:41,029 Yeah. Just like the old Springfield Galleria. 123 00:05:42,432 --> 00:05:45,233 Do what you want to me. Just don't touch the trophy. 124 00:05:46,269 --> 00:05:47,969 Yeah, right. 125 00:05:52,609 --> 00:05:53,609 Hi. 126 00:05:53,643 --> 00:05:54,876 This is for you. 127 00:05:54,911 --> 00:05:56,845 Let me give you a life lesson. 128 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,379 This isn't your fault. 129 00:05:58,415 --> 00:06:00,482 But it's the end of us forever. 130 00:06:05,121 --> 00:06:06,588 Oh, uh, hey... hey, Cassidy. 131 00:06:06,623 --> 00:06:08,623 Ugh. 132 00:06:11,561 --> 00:06:13,228 Sweetie, what happened? 133 00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:15,363 Bullies broke my trophy. 134 00:06:16,399 --> 00:06:17,665 Oh, don't worry. 135 00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:20,168 When you grow up, you're gonna have a hell of a career. 136 00:06:20,203 --> 00:06:21,436 Oh, wait, you're not the girl. 137 00:06:21,471 --> 00:06:23,071 You're gonna have a hell of a career. 138 00:06:23,106 --> 00:06:24,772 Thank you. 139 00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:27,876 Bullying is wrong, and I'm going to work to change it. 140 00:06:27,911 --> 00:06:30,945 If I can get them to open up another register at Kroger's, 141 00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:33,281 I can do something about this. 142 00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:36,184 Wha... Marge, we don't have Kroger's money. 143 00:06:36,219 --> 00:06:38,319 Completing our long-overdue 144 00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:41,155 apologies to the witches and their families. 145 00:06:41,191 --> 00:06:45,059 Our final new business is a proposal from Marge Simpson. 146 00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:47,962 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to show you 147 00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,964 the world's filthiest word. 148 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,834 Oh, boy, I can't wait to see this word. 149 00:06:55,505 --> 00:06:56,905 You know, I thought you were gonna say 150 00:07:04,681 --> 00:07:07,649 Now, Midge, uh, thanks for coming and alls, but, uh, 151 00:07:07,684 --> 00:07:11,085 since frontier days, we've needed bullies to steal land 152 00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:14,422 from Indians and, uh, uh, punch locusts. 153 00:07:14,457 --> 00:07:16,324 But not anymore. 154 00:07:16,359 --> 00:07:19,294 Let's push bullying to the ground and make it cry 155 00:07:19,329 --> 00:07:21,362 and point and laugh at it. 156 00:07:21,398 --> 00:07:23,031 Yeah, yeah! Absolutely! 157 00:07:23,066 --> 00:07:25,066 Let's pass this legislation 158 00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:27,669 without any discussion whatsoever. 159 00:07:27,704 --> 00:07:30,605 So moved. All in favor? 160 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,607 316, 317, 161 00:07:32,642 --> 00:07:35,510 318, 319 to one. 162 00:07:35,545 --> 00:07:37,478 Who didn't vote for it? 163 00:07:37,514 --> 00:07:38,780 I didn't. 164 00:07:38,815 --> 00:07:40,381 You better freaking vote for it, 165 00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:42,717 or we'll bust your face, you little troll. 166 00:07:44,054 --> 00:07:47,288 The anti-bullying law has passed without objection. 167 00:07:47,324 --> 00:07:48,823 Ow. 168 00:07:53,716 --> 00:07:56,484 Hey, Simpson. Come over and get your Christmas socking. 169 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,487 By the unregulated power 170 00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,889 vested in us by the hastily passed bully law, 171 00:08:01,924 --> 00:08:04,358 you're under arrest. Take 'em away, boys. 172 00:08:06,863 --> 00:08:08,829 Yeah, grab that hat. 173 00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:10,931 Boys, I predict you're gonna have clear sledding 174 00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:13,501 from here on out. Uh, except on those sleds. 175 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,069 Uh, I'm gonna need 'em as evidence. 176 00:08:15,104 --> 00:08:16,771 Uh, is that a candy cane, Milhouse? 177 00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:18,773 'Cause, uh, yeah. That-that's also evidence. 178 00:08:20,309 --> 00:08:22,410 Mmm, mmm. 179 00:08:22,445 --> 00:08:25,713 Uh, yes, Kent, the law gives us broad authority here. 180 00:08:25,748 --> 00:08:29,183 We're not just going after your garden-variety nurple purpler. 181 00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:32,286 No, no. We're also arresting adult bullies. 182 00:08:32,321 --> 00:08:34,455 The long-trouser crowd. 183 00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:36,290 And let me tell you, arresting people 184 00:08:36,325 --> 00:08:38,726 who don't think they're criminals-- it's, uh... 185 00:08:38,761 --> 00:08:40,428 it's a hell of a lot easier. 186 00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:42,229 Mmm. 187 00:08:43,599 --> 00:08:45,533 All you worthless writers ever do 188 00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,535 is stare into your phones. 189 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,171 Why don't you text me some freaking jokes? 190 00:08:53,076 --> 00:08:55,976 A TV star criticizing his writers. 191 00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:57,712 What has this world come to? 192 00:08:57,747 --> 00:09:00,247 Another bully for your collection, boys. 193 00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:03,317 I need some prison jokes. Quick. 194 00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,653 How about "Orange is the New Blecch"? 195 00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:07,955 Beautiful. 196 00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:10,357 Uh, yeah. A car just cut me off. 197 00:09:10,393 --> 00:09:13,461 License JDB 653. 198 00:09:13,496 --> 00:09:15,262 He's a bully. 199 00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,334 Oh, and the guy that filled my soda 200 00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:22,169 gave me mostly ice. Bully. 201 00:09:22,205 --> 00:09:24,004 Mostly ice. Dear God. 202 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,007 I'll never grow a tough enough skin for this job. 203 00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:28,609 Excuse me, this is madness. 204 00:09:28,644 --> 00:09:30,644 The ice costs me more than the soda. 205 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,113 Do you realize this? 206 00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:33,781 Ay, ay, ay. 207 00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:35,649 What hath Mom wrought? 208 00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:38,919 The police are arresting basically anyone they want to. 209 00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:42,022 Lisa, you got to learn to trust your government. 210 00:09:42,058 --> 00:09:44,558 That's what I do. 211 00:09:47,730 --> 00:09:49,930 Daddy, can we make cocoa? 212 00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:51,932 Boys, I'm afraid Mr. Simpson... 213 00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:53,968 borrowed our mix and our mugs. 214 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,036 Why don't you ask for things back? 215 00:09:56,072 --> 00:09:57,872 Are you being bullied? 216 00:09:57,907 --> 00:10:00,541 Now, boys, I'm just turning the other cheek, like Jesus. 217 00:10:00,576 --> 00:10:02,576 Do you think he was bullied? 218 00:10:05,314 --> 00:10:08,516 Come on, guys. Give it back. 219 00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:11,285 Oh... forgive them, Father. 220 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,988 I raised a wuss. 221 00:10:15,725 --> 00:10:18,192 Dear Lord: Please demonstrate unto us 222 00:10:18,227 --> 00:10:20,795 Uncle Homer's not a jerk. 223 00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,334 See you in hell, old bed. 224 00:10:32,074 --> 00:10:33,908 Oh, come on, Chief. Why am I in here? 225 00:10:33,943 --> 00:10:35,042 You're a workplace bully. 226 00:10:35,077 --> 00:10:36,877 Chief, I put my name on my lunch 227 00:10:36,913 --> 00:10:38,512 because you are always eating it. 228 00:10:38,548 --> 00:10:40,247 Bully! Bully! Bully! 229 00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:43,851 Springfield PD. Chief speaking. 230 00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:46,821 Hello? We'd like to report a bully. 231 00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:49,190 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh! 232 00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:52,326 Wow. This bully's going down! 233 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,061 Yeah. 234 00:10:56,566 --> 00:10:58,966 Ooh, I wonder who this could be! 235 00:11:00,403 --> 00:11:02,336 Homer Simpson, I'm here to charge you 236 00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,873 with multiple counts of bullying your neighbor, Ned Flanders. 237 00:11:05,908 --> 00:11:07,708 What the...?! Oh, I never dreamed 238 00:11:07,743 --> 00:11:10,544 that a law I had abused could be applied to me! 239 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,479 All right, time for the perp walk. 240 00:11:12,515 --> 00:11:15,783 Walk? But I just watered up the Slip'N Slide. 241 00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,720 I have no comment at this time! 242 00:11:19,755 --> 00:11:21,622 I sentence you to 90 days treatment 243 00:11:21,657 --> 00:11:24,725 in our new Biff Stiffler Bully Reeducation Center. 244 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,093 Is it a school? 245 00:11:26,128 --> 00:11:27,528 More like a prison. 246 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,196 Phew! Thank God. 247 00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:30,764 Welcome, friends. 248 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,867 Welcome. Welcome. No need for names. 249 00:11:32,902 --> 00:11:34,535 Well, there are need for names, 250 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,270 or there'd be billions of people 251 00:11:36,305 --> 00:11:37,872 walking around without knowing each other, 252 00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:39,607 but I meant here. 253 00:11:39,642 --> 00:11:41,275 I know what you're going through 254 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,077 because I'm a recovering bully myself. 255 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:45,579 I was bullied for years and years. 256 00:11:45,615 --> 00:11:48,415 I tried to solve it in a way that I don't suggest. 257 00:11:48,451 --> 00:11:49,884 I shot a man. 258 00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:51,385 But that didn't fix it. 259 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:54,054 It fixed it for him. He died. 260 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:56,891 But I then went to a lot of training. 261 00:11:56,926 --> 00:12:00,261 I went into the Army, and I was punished, 262 00:12:00,296 --> 00:12:02,930 and they told me I got over it. 263 00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:05,699 I don't feel it, but I'm told I got over it, 264 00:12:05,735 --> 00:12:07,434 and I have something on the wall 265 00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,069 that says I do. Ow! 266 00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:12,840 Time for step one on the path to empathy, you maggots. 267 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:15,476 Can I do yard work like the kids? 268 00:12:15,511 --> 00:12:18,646 Your work is internal. You mean like vacuuming? 269 00:12:18,681 --> 00:12:20,915 Did you really think I meant vacuuming? 270 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:23,284 When I said "internal," your brain went 271 00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:26,120 to something inside your house like vacuuming? 272 00:12:26,155 --> 00:12:28,155 Is that what you thought? 273 00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:31,659 Do you know that's why that Dyson is a billionaire? 274 00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:34,628 Something is wrong with you when you think vacuuming. 275 00:12:34,664 --> 00:12:36,764 I'm talking about inside your head. 276 00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,198 In your head! 277 00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:40,501 Oh, it's so boring in there. 278 00:12:40,536 --> 00:12:41,969 Oh, is it? 279 00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,871 And I thought it might be like the Louvre. 280 00:12:43,906 --> 00:12:45,306 Now, no more talking! 281 00:12:45,341 --> 00:12:46,707 I know how this works. 282 00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:48,876 You find the toughest one, you crack that person, 283 00:12:48,911 --> 00:12:50,678 and the rest of you fall in line. 284 00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:52,880 You'll never crack me. 285 00:12:52,915 --> 00:12:55,015 Ah, you're probably right. 286 00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:57,818 Just like you never heard your mother say, 287 00:12:57,853 --> 00:12:59,119 "I love you." 288 00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:04,458 There's not enough tissue in the world for what I'm feeling! 289 00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:07,628 There, there. 290 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,463 The first six tissues are free. 291 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:10,831 The rest you pay for. 292 00:13:10,866 --> 00:13:12,433 Use the first two again. 293 00:13:12,468 --> 00:13:14,068 They don't seem very wet. 294 00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:15,402 Every bully 295 00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:17,037 is woven from the colorful thread 296 00:13:17,073 --> 00:13:19,073 known as humiliation. 297 00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:21,575 Gary, who humiliated you? 298 00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:22,876 Well... 299 00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,979 my father was a psychologist. 300 00:13:25,014 --> 00:13:28,816 He was a big believer in the methods of B.F. Skinner! 301 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:32,653 I had to go through a hamster maze to get to my breakfast. 302 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,655 Which way is love, Daddy? 303 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,223 Which way is love? 304 00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:42,196 He made me go through a maze. 305 00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:45,065 Ah. Breakthrough. 306 00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:46,500 Just sit down, Gary. 307 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,569 Have the free potato chips. 308 00:13:48,604 --> 00:13:50,270 You, we'll just heavily medicate. 309 00:13:50,306 --> 00:13:51,839 I'm sorry, there's no other hope. 310 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,207 Give me your money. 311 00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:54,742 Oh, beautiful. 312 00:13:54,777 --> 00:13:56,610 You're just proving my point. 313 00:13:56,645 --> 00:13:58,045 What about you, Homer? 314 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,347 Why do you hate this... Flanders? 315 00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:03,617 Well, he thinks he's so perfect, with his organized garage 316 00:14:03,652 --> 00:14:06,587 and his barbecue grill that never has crud on it. 317 00:14:06,622 --> 00:14:08,288 That's very good. Keep exploring. 318 00:14:08,324 --> 00:14:10,591 I'm already hating him a little bit. 319 00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:13,394 Kids who love him and rub his back. 320 00:14:13,429 --> 00:14:16,563 And he's got enough extra hair for a mustache! 321 00:14:16,599 --> 00:14:19,099 All I got are Archie and Wicket here. 322 00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:21,101 I'm so bald. 323 00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:23,604 Deeper. You've got to go deeper! 324 00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,272 I'm so bald. 325 00:14:25,307 --> 00:14:28,542 Deeper! And if you think I mean on the ground, 326 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,077 I'm going to punch you! 327 00:14:30,112 --> 00:14:32,246 Why do you hate Flanders? 328 00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:34,214 Oh, everybody hates Flanders. 329 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,783 No, just you. 330 00:14:35,818 --> 00:14:36,818 That's right. Great guy. 331 00:14:36,819 --> 00:14:37,951 He ain't no chooch. 332 00:14:37,987 --> 00:14:40,087 Homer, you've got to find the answer to this. 333 00:14:40,122 --> 00:14:42,322 It's been bothering you your whole life. 334 00:14:42,358 --> 00:14:44,391 Also, it's five to 11:00. 335 00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,293 I have ten more people before noon! 336 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:48,729 Oh, can you just tell me the answer? 337 00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,297 If I told you the answer, 338 00:14:50,332 --> 00:14:53,067 then you would not have discovered it for yourself. 339 00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:55,903 Did you see that, uh, Indiana Jones movie? 340 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:59,239 Did anybody tell him where that thing was? 341 00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,141 Does this guy know? Well... 342 00:15:01,177 --> 00:15:03,911 Only you know! All right. 343 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:07,314 I hate Ned Flanders because... 344 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,919 ...because he's better than me in every way! 345 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:15,289 I think we have a breakthrough. 346 00:15:15,324 --> 00:15:16,857 I was gonna say that, too. 347 00:15:23,855 --> 00:15:25,988 I used to be a jerk. 348 00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:29,792 I never cared whose feelings I hurt as long as it got a laugh. 349 00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:32,695 I took a thumb when a pinky would do. 350 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:36,132 But we have learned our lesson, so I hereby promise... 351 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,533 I promise. 352 00:15:37,568 --> 00:15:38,634 I promise. 353 00:15:38,669 --> 00:15:39,869 Te prometo. 354 00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:41,637 We all promise. 355 00:15:41,672 --> 00:15:44,373 To be a better human being. 356 00:15:44,409 --> 00:15:46,008 Better human being. 357 00:15:46,044 --> 00:15:47,910 Ugh! Once again, people. 358 00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:50,413 ALL To be a better human being. 359 00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:51,881 Better being. 360 00:15:51,916 --> 00:15:53,482 Does he have to be in this? 361 00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,851 Well, surprisingly, that was our best take. 362 00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:58,988 Uh, question: What will this video be used for? 363 00:15:59,023 --> 00:16:01,690 Oh, in schools, by police groups. 364 00:16:01,726 --> 00:16:04,260 CNN. They're doing a lot of things now 365 00:16:04,295 --> 00:16:06,328 that have nothing to do with news. 366 00:16:06,364 --> 00:16:09,031 This is great. Nothing America likes better 367 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,901 than someone who screws up, goes away for a little while, 368 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:13,369 then comes back and tells everyone 369 00:16:13,404 --> 00:16:14,770 how to live their lives. 370 00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:17,106 Oh, I forgot to include remorse. 371 00:16:17,141 --> 00:16:18,774 Oh, it's okay. 372 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:21,210 When it kicks in, it'll be a thousand times worse. 373 00:16:21,245 --> 00:16:22,912 What happened to me? 374 00:16:22,947 --> 00:16:24,880 My mother told me she loved me. 375 00:16:24,916 --> 00:16:26,682 Maybe I couldn't hear her 376 00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,285 because my hand was over her mouth. 377 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,221 Let yourself out, please. 378 00:16:32,256 --> 00:16:34,523 And here to throw out the first pitch, 379 00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:36,492 reformed bully Homer Simpson. 380 00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:41,130 And the pitch hits the umpire, 381 00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:42,965 but it's not an umpire at all. 382 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,601 It's a returning serviceman from Iraq. 383 00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:48,904 And the crowd goes wild. 384 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:50,439 You're a hero. 385 00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:52,174 No, you're-you're the hero. I... 386 00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:54,076 No, no, you're wrong. You're the hero. 387 00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:55,311 I... No, I just... I'm not. 388 00:16:55,346 --> 00:16:57,113 I-I just have a little PTSD. 389 00:16:57,148 --> 00:16:58,948 No, if you see a hero, 390 00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:01,617 you're looking into a mirror, man, because you're the hero. 391 00:17:01,652 --> 00:17:04,120 Why is Mr. Simpson a hero? 392 00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:06,689 Well, I suppose it's because 393 00:17:06,724 --> 00:17:09,525 he used to be bad and now he's good. 394 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,227 Yay? Yay? 395 00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:15,297 Jenny, the Costington's float contains 10,001 flowers, 396 00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:18,501 and work started the day after last year's parade finished. 397 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:20,369 You say that every year, 398 00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:21,804 and it's just not true. 399 00:17:23,107 --> 00:17:25,307 Well, there you go again. 400 00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:28,911 Daddy, maybe someday you'll be a hero like Mr. Simpson. 401 00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:31,981 He's a hero, all right. A hero sandwich full of baloney. 402 00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:34,350 Huh. I almost said that in front of the boys! 403 00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:36,986 Time I gave that Homer a real tongue bath! 404 00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,555 Ooh. Glad I didn't say that, either. 405 00:17:40,691 --> 00:17:43,425 Uh-huh! Uh, wait. 406 00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,194 What do you want me to do with this? 407 00:17:45,229 --> 00:17:46,662 How about writing, "I'm sorry, Ned"? 408 00:17:46,697 --> 00:17:48,697 What are you doing here? 409 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:50,266 Homer, sorry is not just 410 00:17:50,301 --> 00:17:51,941 the most exciting board game ever devised. 411 00:17:51,969 --> 00:17:54,036 It's a word I need to hear from you. 412 00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:55,938 Fine. Sorry. We good? 413 00:17:55,973 --> 00:17:57,706 No, we're not good! 414 00:17:57,742 --> 00:18:00,042 You really think one little "sorry" makes up for years of, 415 00:18:00,077 --> 00:18:03,712 "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Flanders"? 416 00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:06,849 I'm starting to think you don't want an autograph. 417 00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:08,284 This is what I want. 418 00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:11,187 I want you to understand how you make me feel. 419 00:18:11,222 --> 00:18:16,692 Homer Simpson, you made me less of a man in my sons' eyes. 420 00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:18,694 Now do you feel remorse? 421 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:22,198 Oh, my God. I'm a monster. 422 00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:23,566 Mm-hmm. 423 00:18:23,601 --> 00:18:25,034 Wait! You can't go! 424 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,503 I need your forgiveness! 425 00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:30,839 You can't push a guy around forever, Dad. 426 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:33,342 You better take a long, fat look in the mirror. 427 00:18:33,377 --> 00:18:34,743 I know. 428 00:18:38,616 --> 00:18:41,217 Oh, driveway! Oh! 429 00:18:41,252 --> 00:18:44,086 I crawled here on my knees, all the way from my house, 430 00:18:44,121 --> 00:18:46,055 to ask for your forgiveness. 431 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:49,058 Well, sir, I appreciate that, but I don't bend that easily. 432 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:51,026 Well, I'm gonna wait right here on my knees 433 00:18:51,062 --> 00:18:53,162 till you change your mind. Okily-dokily. 434 00:18:53,197 --> 00:18:55,497 On my knees! Mm-hmm. I hear you. 435 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,533 Not too comfortable. Nor should it be. 436 00:18:58,836 --> 00:19:00,836 ♪ ♪ 437 00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:20,522 I think he's suffered enough, Daddy. 438 00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:22,925 And he seems to be sinking. 439 00:19:24,395 --> 00:19:27,096 We're losing him. 440 00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:29,198 "And when you stand praying, 441 00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,967 "if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, 442 00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:34,870 so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins." 443 00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:36,939 That's from that ribbon book. 444 00:19:36,974 --> 00:19:38,574 Yes, it is, Homer. 445 00:19:38,609 --> 00:19:41,210 And I forgive you, transgressoreeno. 446 00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:45,748 Now, Ned, why don't you join us for an all-is-forgiven brunch? 447 00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:47,650 Oh, can I make my famous mimosa? 448 00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:50,753 A little sparkling water and a glass full of regular water? 449 00:19:50,788 --> 00:19:53,756 Stu... pendous, Flanders. 450 00:20:04,022 --> 00:20:06,990 Hey, Miss Drizzle! Otto! Otto! 451 00:20:07,025 --> 00:20:08,925 How many tabs did you take? 452 00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:11,928 I took a whole sheet of Hello Kitties! 453 00:20:11,964 --> 00:20:13,763 Oh, Otto! That will have 454 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:16,333 a most deleterious effect on your brain. 455 00:20:16,368 --> 00:20:19,269 The cerebrum, the cerebellum, the medulla. 456 00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:21,304 But why am I telling you about it 457 00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:24,674 when we can visit the inside of your head? 458 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:27,878 Bus, do your stuff! 459 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,217 Aah! Get it out! Get it out! 460 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,993 Mr. Foreman? 461 00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:44,895 Mr. Foreman, please wake up! 462 00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:46,963 Aah! Who murdered who again? 463 00:20:46,999 --> 00:20:53,499 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 464 00:21:33,114 --> 00:21:34,911 Shh!