1 00:00:01,326 --> 00:00:05,326 ♪ The Simpsons 26x22 ♪ Mathlete's Feat Original Air Date on May 17, 2015 2 00:00:08,657 --> 00:00:11,158 D'oh! 3 00:00:15,164 --> 00:00:16,630 Oh, my God, Morty, what did you do? 4 00:00:16,665 --> 00:00:18,365 You killed the Simpsons, Morty! Oh, my God, no! 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,800 No, I-I-I-I didn't mean to! Oh, no, no! 6 00:00:19,835 --> 00:00:21,301 This is horrible! I killed the Simpsons! 7 00:00:21,337 --> 00:00:23,870 God, look at the baby one! Oh, my God, Morty! 8 00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:25,405 You killed the entire Simpsons, Morty! 9 00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:27,708 They're a beloved family, Morty! 10 00:00:27,743 --> 00:00:29,609 They're-they're-they're-they're a national treasure. 11 00:00:29,645 --> 00:00:31,211 And you killed them. I-I-I-I'm just a kid! 12 00:00:31,246 --> 00:00:32,245 I'm just a kid! I don't want to go to jail! 13 00:00:32,281 --> 00:00:33,281 Relax, Morty, calm down. 14 00:00:33,315 --> 00:00:35,415 We'll take care of it. 15 00:00:35,451 --> 00:00:37,150 Okay, I want you to take that vial of Simpsons' goo 16 00:00:37,186 --> 00:00:39,086 and this picture to this address. 17 00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:41,321 They'll make us new Simpsons-- you understand me, Morty? 18 00:00:41,323 --> 00:00:43,256 Me?! W-W-What are you gonna do? Morty, 19 00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:44,558 I got to clean this place up 20 00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:45,926 before somebody comes snooping around. 21 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:47,561 You know how many characters there are 22 00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:48,962 in The Simpsons, Morty? There's, like, a billion 23 00:00:48,998 --> 00:00:50,664 chara... characters. 24 00:00:50,699 --> 00:00:52,632 They did an episode where George Bush was their neighbor. 25 00:00:52,668 --> 00:00:54,668 All right, can't argue with that. 26 00:01:38,213 --> 00:01:39,646 Hi-diddly-ho, neighbor! 27 00:01:39,681 --> 00:01:41,882 Looks like you got a spaceship in your... 28 00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:44,351 Who are you? 29 00:01:51,026 --> 00:01:52,993 Rick, I'm back! Wake up! Wake up! 30 00:01:53,028 --> 00:01:54,961 Geez, it's about time, Morty. 31 00:01:54,997 --> 00:01:56,997 Give me those. 32 00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,040 Huh, wow. 33 00:02:07,076 --> 00:02:09,176 Hey, Morty, a little tip. 34 00:02:09,211 --> 00:02:11,244 Don't clean DNA vials with your spit! 35 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,547 Let's go. I'm driving this time. 36 00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:18,852 Aw, no more guest animators, man! 37 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:28,728 Okay, children. 38 00:02:28,764 --> 00:02:29,996 I think it's safe now 39 00:02:30,032 --> 00:02:32,432 to put on your math T-shirts. 40 00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:35,602 Wait here. 41 00:02:35,637 --> 00:02:36,903 Nerd! 42 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,406 Model U.N., and step on it! 43 00:02:39,441 --> 00:02:40,707 Ha-ha! 44 00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:46,713 Very good. 45 00:02:46,748 --> 00:02:49,516 That is really... Oh! 46 00:02:49,551 --> 00:02:51,518 Dog in box. 47 00:02:51,553 --> 00:02:53,920 Genius. 48 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,794 All right, let's meet our two teams of Mathletes, shall we? 49 00:03:00,829 --> 00:03:04,264 First, the Springfield Elementary Action Fractions! 50 00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:05,799 They rhyme and they... 51 00:03:07,002 --> 00:03:09,136 And, uh, from the right side of the tracks, 52 00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:11,605 the Waverly Hills Elementary 53 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,807 No Equals. They're spoiled and rich. 54 00:03:13,842 --> 00:03:17,310 Yo! What did the right angle say to the wider angle? 55 00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:19,980 Well, not knowing these fellows, I-I couldn't say. 56 00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:21,081 You're obtuse! 57 00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:26,553 Now, let's welcome our celebrity guests, 58 00:03:26,588 --> 00:03:29,055 former winners of this very contest 59 00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:31,158 and current high-flying-- yes, you heard me-- 60 00:03:31,193 --> 00:03:32,993 I said high-flying, high flying-- 61 00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:35,262 tech entrepreneurs! 62 00:03:35,297 --> 00:03:37,230 Gary, Doug and Benjamin, 63 00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:38,965 who invented Whereditgo. 64 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,768 That's an app that finds the other apps on your phone. 65 00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:45,505 Enables you to glayvin with your friends' mobile hoyvin. 66 00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:47,807 One year ago, we were dateless nerds 67 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:49,643 living in our mothers' basements. 68 00:03:49,678 --> 00:03:52,979 Now the basement we live in is in a giant mansion. 69 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,848 Yeah! Yeah! 70 00:03:54,883 --> 00:03:57,250 And we own some kind of sports team. 71 00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,153 All right, calm down, just calm down. 72 00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:02,289 Now, here to support these fine student scholars 73 00:04:02,324 --> 00:04:04,691 is the man who loves math... 74 00:04:04,726 --> 00:04:06,927 Math?! I thought you said "meth"! 75 00:04:06,962 --> 00:04:08,662 Drug reference! 76 00:04:09,865 --> 00:04:11,798 Uh, seriously, what am I here for? 77 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,366 Nobody told you? 78 00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:15,001 They send a limo, I get in. 79 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,369 It takes me somewhere. 80 00:04:16,405 --> 00:04:18,605 Then I watch the news later to see what I did. 81 00:04:21,109 --> 00:04:22,142 What a nightmare. 82 00:04:22,177 --> 00:04:23,810 That's fair enough. Boo-hayvin! 83 00:04:23,845 --> 00:04:25,212 The teams have created 84 00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:27,781 introductory videos about themselves. 85 00:04:27,816 --> 00:04:31,017 Let's watch them, shall we, with our eyes? 86 00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:35,322 Springfield Elementary was originally designed 87 00:04:35,357 --> 00:04:38,291 as a storage facility for salt pork. 88 00:04:38,327 --> 00:04:40,293 At some later point, it was turned into a school. 89 00:04:40,329 --> 00:04:41,661 Chalmskinn. 90 00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:42,829 On hot days, pork grease 91 00:04:42,864 --> 00:04:44,030 still comes out of the walls. 92 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,999 Oh, quit your whining. 93 00:04:46,034 --> 00:04:47,734 And now, Waverly Hills. 94 00:04:47,769 --> 00:04:51,171 Hi, I'm movie genius Michael Bay. 95 00:04:51,206 --> 00:04:52,706 I used to be all like, "Math? 96 00:04:52,741 --> 00:04:54,207 Who needs that noise, am I right?" 97 00:04:54,243 --> 00:04:56,009 But I wasn't right. 98 00:04:56,044 --> 00:04:58,578 The Waverly Hills math team made me realize 99 00:04:58,614 --> 00:05:01,381 that quadratic equations are hotter 100 00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:03,316 than a million Megan Foxes. 101 00:05:03,352 --> 00:05:05,752 Math on! 102 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:11,558 Yo, Waverly Hills! 103 00:05:11,593 --> 00:05:13,059 You guys rock! 104 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,427 Like my friend The Rock! 105 00:05:14,463 --> 00:05:15,895 I know his real first name! 106 00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:16,931 It's Dwayne! 107 00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,366 I win Hollywood! 108 00:05:23,939 --> 00:05:25,905 Celebrate now, you stuck-up snobs. 109 00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:30,777 But our plucky little school is going to surprise you. 110 00:05:30,812 --> 00:05:33,213 We will surprise you all! 111 00:05:33,248 --> 00:05:35,015 Well, Lisa, 112 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:36,716 we didn't score a single point. 113 00:05:36,752 --> 00:05:38,118 That was surprising. 114 00:05:40,989 --> 00:05:44,124 Oh, you'll get them next time, honey. 115 00:05:44,159 --> 00:05:46,359 No! No, we won't! 116 00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:49,029 That school is so rich! 117 00:05:49,064 --> 00:05:52,365 Every kid has a laptop! 118 00:05:52,401 --> 00:05:55,802 Her crying is sadder than a child actor 119 00:05:55,837 --> 00:05:58,571 "Where are they now?" story. 120 00:05:58,607 --> 00:06:00,674 It's true. 121 00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:03,143 As graduates of Springfield Elementary, 122 00:06:03,178 --> 00:06:04,811 we want to give back. 123 00:06:04,846 --> 00:06:06,913 We're going to buy every student a tablet computer 124 00:06:06,948 --> 00:06:08,815 and upgrade your entire school 125 00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:11,484 with the latest cloud-based technology. 126 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,787 Here's a check. Take this check. 127 00:06:13,822 --> 00:06:15,221 The first black president... 128 00:06:15,257 --> 00:06:17,791 is decades away from being a reality. 129 00:06:19,494 --> 00:06:21,394 Come back with my fall semester! 130 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:22,962 We don't need filmstrips 131 00:06:22,998 --> 00:06:24,831 like Life in These 48 States anymore, 132 00:06:24,866 --> 00:06:27,534 because our school is going all digital! 133 00:06:28,570 --> 00:06:30,103 Ow, damn it! 134 00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:31,905 The teachers union won't stand for this. 135 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:33,406 It means less work for you. 136 00:06:33,442 --> 00:06:35,508 I didn't know it was possible to do less work. 137 00:06:35,544 --> 00:06:38,845 How intriguing. 138 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,082 ♪ He said I've been to the year 3000 ♪ 139 00:06:42,117 --> 00:06:44,084 ♪ Not much has changed ♪ ♪ Not much has changed ♪ 140 00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:47,954 ♪ But they lived underwater ♪ ♪ Underwater ♪ 141 00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:51,958 ♪ And your great-great-great granddaughter ♪ 142 00:06:51,993 --> 00:06:53,460 ♪ Is pretty fine ♪ 143 00:06:53,495 --> 00:06:57,297 ♪ Is pretty fine ♪ 144 00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:59,366 ♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪ 145 00:06:59,401 --> 00:07:01,334 ♪ This song had gone multiplatinum ♪ 146 00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:04,137 ♪ Everybody bought our seventh album... ♪ 147 00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:06,206 And if we're ever invaded, just click this. 148 00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:08,775 ♪ I took a trip to the year 3000 ♪ 149 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:10,844 ♪ This song had gone multiplatinum ♪ 150 00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:13,680 ♪ Everybody bought our seventh album. ♪ 151 00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:15,181 Oh, it's wonderful. 152 00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:17,917 We can finally afford attractive teachers. 153 00:07:17,953 --> 00:07:21,855 I was the only one here who understood osmosis. 154 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:24,257 Spare me, ug-o. 155 00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,794 Willie, since all our books have been digitized, 156 00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:30,130 we have no need for the paper versions-- burn these. 157 00:07:30,165 --> 00:07:31,965 Wouldn't it be easier just to toss them out? 158 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,467 Nonsense! We now have this state-of-the-art 159 00:07:34,503 --> 00:07:36,903 digital book burner. Hmm. 160 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,174 Listen to her hum. 161 00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:42,876 What's that?! 162 00:07:42,911 --> 00:07:44,191 Well, we didn't want to leave you 163 00:07:44,212 --> 00:07:45,478 out of the digital revolution. 164 00:07:45,514 --> 00:07:46,913 Willie, meet your new supervisor. 165 00:07:46,948 --> 00:07:50,183 Aw, I have to take orders from a machine? 166 00:07:50,218 --> 00:07:51,418 Oh, it can't speak. 167 00:07:51,453 --> 00:07:53,052 But should it ever learn, yes. 168 00:07:59,761 --> 00:08:01,060 Will there ever be a technology 169 00:08:01,096 --> 00:08:02,395 that teaches stupid children 170 00:08:02,431 --> 00:08:05,765 how to ding a dang triangle?! 171 00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:09,068 This school has spent the last 50 years mired in the 1960s. 172 00:08:09,104 --> 00:08:12,372 Let us spend the next 50 mired in now! 173 00:08:16,411 --> 00:08:18,545 Bo-Ron! 174 00:08:19,481 --> 00:08:21,047 And with this ring, 175 00:08:21,082 --> 00:08:23,683 we unite these ancient warring clans, 176 00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:26,352 who frolic unclothed, even in winter, 177 00:08:26,388 --> 00:08:29,255 and bring peace to Decapita! 178 00:08:34,129 --> 00:08:35,895 Pay cable is awesome! 179 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:38,264 Who knew they had nipples in castle times? 180 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,366 You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network! 181 00:08:40,402 --> 00:08:42,735 You shouldn't have made your password "password." 182 00:08:42,771 --> 00:08:44,304 Well, it was the name of the street I grew up on. 183 00:08:44,339 --> 00:08:45,672 Password Drive! 184 00:08:52,013 --> 00:08:53,746 Seymour, you plugged the servers in 185 00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:55,315 with surge protectors, didn't you? 186 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,716 Oh, yes, power strips. 187 00:08:56,751 --> 00:08:57,951 You fool. 188 00:08:57,986 --> 00:09:00,386 Surge protectors are always power strips. 189 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:01,788 But not vice versa! 190 00:09:08,864 --> 00:09:10,396 Was that us? 191 00:09:10,432 --> 00:09:11,664 No, sir. 192 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,666 I like it when it's not us. 193 00:09:31,461 --> 00:09:32,461 Let's see. 194 00:09:32,497 --> 00:09:33,863 Roman numerals. 195 00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:35,197 Photosynthesis. 196 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:37,266 Uh, Robert E. Lee. 197 00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:39,668 Miss Hoover, are you teaching or are you just saying 198 00:09:39,704 --> 00:09:42,004 anything that comes into your head? 199 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,440 Miss Hoover, please report to the main office. 200 00:09:44,475 --> 00:09:46,642 You just did that in your hand! 201 00:09:46,677 --> 00:09:48,511 Ralph Wiggum, put your head down. 202 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,780 You're the mouth-hand! 203 00:09:50,815 --> 00:09:52,848 All right, class. We don't have computers 204 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,683 and we don't have keyboards. 205 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:58,287 But that doesn't mean we can't practice our typing. 206 00:09:58,322 --> 00:09:59,722 Now, put your index fingers 207 00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:02,892 on marshmallows F and J, and... 208 00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:04,193 tap-tap-tap. 209 00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:05,528 Tap-tap-tap. 210 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,797 Tap-tap... Nelson, stop that! 211 00:10:07,832 --> 00:10:08,864 This is my dinner. 212 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,366 I'm eating steak. 213 00:10:11,602 --> 00:10:13,035 Mmm! Mmm! 214 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,670 Needs sauce. 215 00:10:18,843 --> 00:10:21,410 Great news, children. I found an educational movie 216 00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:23,412 I can play on my phone. 217 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,714 Crowd in-- it's kind of a little phone. 218 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,750 Mathematics! Agriculture! 219 00:10:27,785 --> 00:10:29,685 Are there two more exciting words? 220 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,987 Since the time of the Romans, they used scythes 221 00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:33,689 to kill each other. 222 00:10:33,724 --> 00:10:36,692 The ancient farmer needed tools to measure his land. 223 00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:38,561 Ten stick knots right. 224 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:40,529 Five left. 225 00:10:40,565 --> 00:10:41,697 Hmm. 226 00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:47,770 Oh, come to mock ol' Willie, have you? 227 00:10:47,805 --> 00:10:51,540 "Ooh, Willie has to work in the hot sun all day. 228 00:10:51,576 --> 00:10:55,511 Willie's best friend is a stick and a string." 229 00:10:55,546 --> 00:10:57,079 I'm not here to mock you. 230 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,914 "Ooh, Willie doesn't know 231 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:01,684 when someone's being sincere!" 232 00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:02,952 I'm just here to hang out. 233 00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:04,753 What's that device you're using? 234 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,889 My rummlie scob. Nothing exciting. 235 00:11:06,924 --> 00:11:10,459 Just a measuring stick dating back to the ancient druids. 236 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:13,262 Oh! Could you tell me how it works? 237 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,365 Each knot marks the length of a sheep's bladder. 238 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:20,302 The play field is 75 stomachs by 52 kidneys. 239 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:24,106 That's 163 square haggises. 240 00:11:24,141 --> 00:11:25,541 Move over, metric system! 241 00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:27,643 I'm learning the gastric system! 242 00:11:27,678 --> 00:11:29,378 Clever. 243 00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:30,913 Uh, good news, sir, I have assembled 244 00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:33,782 a page on "the piglims" at "Rhymouth Pock." 245 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,051 Yes, well, that's the best we can hope for. 246 00:11:36,087 --> 00:11:38,954 Uh, apply the transparent tape. 247 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,790 Principal Skin-ner! 248 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,393 Willie has showed me that losing our technology 249 00:11:44,428 --> 00:11:47,263 doesn't have to be the end of our learning. 250 00:11:47,298 --> 00:11:50,099 We can turn our school into a Waldorf school. 251 00:11:50,134 --> 00:11:51,500 You mean like the hotel? 252 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,402 Nope! In elementary school, 253 00:11:53,437 --> 00:11:55,137 Waldorf education focuses 254 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,840 on hands-on activity and creative play. 255 00:11:57,875 --> 00:11:59,575 In secondary education... 256 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,243 Ah, not our problem. 257 00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:03,612 After sixth grade, it's good-bye and good luck. 258 00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:05,481 Yes, yes, it is. 259 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,182 Well, it sounds good, but I have one more question. 260 00:12:07,218 --> 00:12:09,985 Is it based on the book where you find the guy in the hat? 261 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,454 Where's Waldo? That's not even the name. 262 00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:15,357 I'm surprised you guys didn't think it was based on the salad. 263 00:12:15,393 --> 00:12:17,293 There's a Waldorf salad? 264 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,430 Behold-- Waldorf education in action! 265 00:12:21,465 --> 00:12:24,600 We're getting our hands dirty and learning by doing. 266 00:12:24,635 --> 00:12:27,536 So I have to make 360 sloppy Joes, 267 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,439 but I only have one pound of hamburger meat. 268 00:12:30,474 --> 00:12:34,276 How many cubic feet of Styrofoam peanuts should I add? 269 00:12:34,312 --> 00:12:36,111 Assuming four peanuts per Joe, 270 00:12:36,147 --> 00:12:38,347 37 cubic feet. 271 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,716 Well, you're a smart little fatso. 272 00:12:40,751 --> 00:12:44,053 It says here that students don't have to raise their hands. 273 00:12:44,088 --> 00:12:45,321 They should just ask every question 274 00:12:45,356 --> 00:12:46,689 that comes to their mind. 275 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,891 Oh. Why are pine needles pointy? 276 00:12:48,926 --> 00:12:50,626 And, um-um-um, what's the difference 277 00:12:50,661 --> 00:12:52,628 between an asteroid and a meteor? 278 00:12:52,663 --> 00:12:54,196 And, mm... ooh-ooh! 279 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,532 Can you shrug anything other than your shoulders? 280 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:59,568 Does anyone else have any questions? 281 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,870 Um, if Mommy's purse didn't belong in the microwave, 282 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,473 why did it fit? 283 00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:07,476 We won't need computers, we won't need books. 284 00:13:07,511 --> 00:13:09,912 I learned not to drink out of the crick. 285 00:13:09,947 --> 00:13:12,815 You mean this isn't crick water? 286 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:14,249 My daddy raised me 287 00:13:14,285 --> 00:13:17,720 and all my 11 dead siblings on crick water! 288 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,588 Huh, everyone wears a hat. 289 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:22,391 Sun hats in the summer, wool hats in the winter. 290 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,859 Ooh, look at this. 291 00:13:23,894 --> 00:13:26,495 Weekly Friday night parents' meetings. 292 00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:27,930 Oh... Wait. 293 00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:29,431 There might be a safety hatch. 294 00:13:29,467 --> 00:13:30,933 Does the apostrophe come before 295 00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:33,335 or after the "S" on "parents"? 296 00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:36,238 After, which means both parents. 297 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,044 Well, I'm not wearing a hat. 298 00:13:42,079 --> 00:13:44,079 People might think I'm bald. 299 00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:50,219 Before we share announcements 300 00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:52,221 and see the results of grade three's 301 00:13:52,256 --> 00:13:54,390 dance study of willows and drooping trees, 302 00:13:54,425 --> 00:13:57,626 we greet the day with a school song. 303 00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,528 Now I have to sing a song?! 304 00:13:59,563 --> 00:14:00,643 Why did those idiots mix up 305 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,765 power strips and surge protectors? 306 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,735 ♪ Every single living creature ♪ 307 00:14:06,771 --> 00:14:10,105 ♪ Every cat and every flea ♪ 308 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:14,576 ♪ All things with a facial feature ♪ 309 00:14:14,612 --> 00:14:17,980 ♪ Have the right to smile at me ♪ 310 00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:21,984 ♪ Every family is a unit ♪ 311 00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:25,921 ♪ Sometimes yelling, sometimes mad ♪ 312 00:14:25,956 --> 00:14:30,459 ♪ Divorced or gay or even foster ♪ 313 00:14:30,494 --> 00:14:34,329 ♪ Even Billy with three dads. ♪ 314 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:38,233 I feel like Beethoven 315 00:14:38,269 --> 00:14:41,503 when Charles Grodin finally accepted him as his dog. 316 00:14:47,243 --> 00:14:49,043 This school is so great now. 317 00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:50,878 Kids learn by doing. 318 00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:52,480 If it's so great, why aren't you helping 319 00:14:52,515 --> 00:14:53,747 your kids do their homework? 320 00:14:53,783 --> 00:14:55,616 Bart's here doing it right now. 321 00:14:55,651 --> 00:14:57,885 No, no, no! Not two-thirds, one-half! 322 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,720 Now that's one-third each. 323 00:14:59,755 --> 00:15:02,890 Now you're learning! 324 00:15:02,925 --> 00:15:04,692 Enjoy. 325 00:15:06,162 --> 00:15:08,295 One earthworm... Gah! 326 00:15:08,331 --> 00:15:09,630 Two halves. 327 00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,632 Wow! 328 00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,134 Willie! Willie! 329 00:15:13,169 --> 00:15:15,402 They want you to coach our school math team! 330 00:15:15,438 --> 00:15:18,672 I'll have to check with my supervisor. 331 00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:21,509 Good to go! 332 00:15:21,544 --> 00:15:24,945 So, if Willie gets paid three cents per square foot 333 00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:26,947 for seeding, and if the field 334 00:15:26,983 --> 00:15:29,650 is 2,500 square feet, 335 00:15:29,685 --> 00:15:31,685 what is Willie getting? 336 00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:33,954 I'd say "screwed." 337 00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:35,623 You're right! 338 00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:37,658 You! Chalmers! 339 00:15:37,693 --> 00:15:39,326 Aah! 340 00:15:39,362 --> 00:15:40,928 Uh-oh. 341 00:15:40,963 --> 00:15:43,898 Come back here, you Willie-chiseling cheat! 342 00:15:51,174 --> 00:15:53,140 Hey, who threw that egg 343 00:15:53,176 --> 00:15:56,010 at a most efficient 45-degree angle? 344 00:15:56,045 --> 00:15:58,512 It was me, sir. 345 00:15:58,548 --> 00:16:01,382 Kids, meet your new math team captain. 346 00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:02,683 It's about time. 347 00:16:02,718 --> 00:16:04,485 But I'm the captain. 348 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,653 Not anymore. 349 00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:07,021 I can't see. 350 00:16:07,056 --> 00:16:08,889 I can't see. 351 00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:16,330 Welcome to the long-anticipated rematch 352 00:16:16,365 --> 00:16:20,067 between Waverly Hills and Springfield. 353 00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:27,041 Um, can you tell me which college I should go to? 354 00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:29,710 It's not a sorting hat! 355 00:16:29,745 --> 00:16:32,846 Please! Early applications are due next week! 356 00:16:32,882 --> 00:16:34,682 All right. 357 00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:37,318 Uh, Miami of Ohio. 358 00:16:37,353 --> 00:16:39,653 Okay. 359 00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:42,356 Our first question is a toss-up. 360 00:16:42,391 --> 00:16:44,592 "What is the least common multiple 361 00:16:44,627 --> 00:16:47,361 of six, eight and 16?" 362 00:16:47,396 --> 00:16:49,597 48! Is correct! 363 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,000 Whoa! No one said there'd be math! 364 00:16:53,035 --> 00:16:54,668 We said there'd be nothing but math! 365 00:16:54,704 --> 00:16:57,271 And you're the math team captain! 366 00:16:57,306 --> 00:16:59,406 I thought I wouldn't have to do anything. 367 00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:02,109 You know, like an Italian cruise ship captain. 368 00:17:02,144 --> 00:17:03,744 You're lucky that captain's not here 369 00:17:03,779 --> 00:17:05,946 right now to answer your insult! 370 00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:08,716 He'd crash a ship right into your house! 371 00:17:08,751 --> 00:17:10,117 Aah! 372 00:17:21,631 --> 00:17:24,431 ♪ Oh, he love, he love, he love ♪ 373 00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:28,035 ♪ He does love his numbers ♪ 374 00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:30,738 ♪ And they run, they run ♪ 375 00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:33,641 ♪ They run him in a great big circle ♪ 376 00:17:36,445 --> 00:17:39,947 ♪ In a circle of infinity ♪ 377 00:17:42,451 --> 00:17:45,019 ESPN isn't covering this. 378 00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:47,421 D'oh! 379 00:17:47,456 --> 00:17:50,291 ♪ Point one, four ♪ 380 00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:53,527 ♪ One, five, nine ♪ 381 00:17:57,933 --> 00:18:01,902 ♪ Two, six, five, three, five ♪ 382 00:18:01,937 --> 00:18:05,005 ♪ Eight, nine, seven, nine ♪ 383 00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:08,509 ♪ Three, two. ♪ 384 00:18:08,544 --> 00:18:12,413 And so, with the score knotted at 29-all, 385 00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:15,949 it comes down to one last question. 386 00:18:17,553 --> 00:18:20,020 Drawing three straight lines, 387 00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:22,189 construct nine non-overlapping-- 388 00:18:22,224 --> 00:18:24,792 that's non-overlapping, not overlapping, 389 00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:28,062 but non-overlapping-- triangles. 390 00:18:35,871 --> 00:18:38,839 Huh? Ooh. 391 00:18:40,543 --> 00:18:42,009 I have the answer! 392 00:18:43,379 --> 00:18:45,045 As someone whose dad's hair is 393 00:18:45,081 --> 00:18:47,514 made of Ms, it's child's play. 394 00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:50,050 Oh, not this again. 395 00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:53,287 Whoo-hoo! I'm a solution! 396 00:18:53,322 --> 00:18:56,190 The Action Fractions win! 397 00:18:56,225 --> 00:18:58,392 You guys might be richer and better looking, 398 00:18:58,427 --> 00:19:02,096 but we won a contest to even the series! 399 00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,533 Mm, that'll look great in our trophy case. 400 00:19:06,569 --> 00:19:07,901 Willie, build a trophy case. 401 00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:09,536 Aye, sir. 402 00:19:09,572 --> 00:19:13,040 But you know what we should really thank for our success? 403 00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:15,909 Lower standards! 404 00:19:15,945 --> 00:19:17,378 Lower standards! 405 00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:18,445 Aye. 406 00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,222 You're wonderful, Willie. 407 00:19:27,257 --> 00:19:29,758 You and the ancient Scottish scientist 408 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,894 that invented the rummlie scob. 409 00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:36,498 Well, the truth is, it wasn't invented for science. 410 00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:37,766 Really? 411 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,401 Then what for? 412 00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:42,437 Oh, it was used for hanging sheep stealers! 413 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,773 The wee knots kept them alive longer 414 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,908 to make the punishment more cruel. 415 00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:49,644 Maybe I don't want to know these things. 416 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,147 Can you say something nice about Scotland? 417 00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:54,916 Well, sometimes the fog comes in 418 00:19:54,952 --> 00:19:57,519 and covers everything terrible. 419 00:19:57,554 --> 00:20:00,270 Very atmospheric. Oh. 420 00:20:04,050 --> 00:20:10,550 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 421 00:21:13,145 --> 00:21:14,945 Shh!