1
00:00:33,572 --> 00:00:34,922
D'oh!
2
00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:43,981
What the...!
3
00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:46,750
Hmm?
4
00:00:46,784 --> 00:00:49,319
Ew, cheap PVC smell.
5
00:00:49,354 --> 00:00:50,420
Oh, no.
6
00:00:50,455 --> 00:00:51,622
I'm an action figure!
7
00:00:51,656 --> 00:00:53,390
And I hate action.
8
00:00:53,424 --> 00:00:55,292
Hiddiley-ho,
articulated neighborino.
9
00:00:55,326 --> 00:00:56,627
Beautiful day, isn't it?
10
00:00:56,661 --> 00:00:59,263
Why, it's practically
mint on card.
11
00:00:59,297 --> 00:01:00,914
Shut up, Flanders!
12
00:01:07,138 --> 00:01:08,472
This reality ain't all bad.
13
00:01:09,657 --> 00:01:11,391
Pastry power, activate.
14
00:01:14,245 --> 00:01:15,195
Whoa!
15
00:01:16,247 --> 00:01:18,232
Beep, beep, beep.
16
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,823
Homer, give me a yank.
17
00:01:26,858 --> 00:01:27,958
I'm lonely.
18
00:01:27,992 --> 00:01:28,992
Typical.
19
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:31,028
Homer, this isn't
the way to the mall.
20
00:01:31,062 --> 00:01:33,880
The mall?
I thought you said Badass City!
21
00:01:38,219 --> 00:01:39,620
Tokyo drift.
22
00:01:41,306 --> 00:01:44,306
♪ The Simpsons 24x20 ♪
Fabulous Faker Boy
Original Air Date on May 12, 2013
23
00:01:44,307 --> 00:01:47,307
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
24
00:01:47,712 --> 00:01:49,913
I'm fatality.
25
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:54,201
All right, Dad!
26
00:02:03,194 --> 00:02:05,562
Hey, put the
chicken one back on.
27
00:02:13,054 --> 00:02:15,055
Urgent message
from Nelson Muntz.
28
00:02:15,089 --> 00:02:16,123
Go on.
29
00:02:16,157 --> 00:02:17,491
Haw. Haw.
30
00:02:22,614 --> 00:02:25,999
Well, I am going to write
a note back to Mr. Muntz.
31
00:02:28,152 --> 00:02:29,403
Sorry about that.
32
00:02:29,437 --> 00:02:31,204
So, Mrs. Simpson,
the reason you're here...
33
00:02:31,239 --> 00:02:32,205
Let me guess.
34
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,574
You need a field trip mom.
35
00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:36,259
A library volunteer?
36
00:02:36,294 --> 00:02:38,895
Someone to Purell the CPR dummy?
37
00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:41,615
Resusci-Kate is just fine,
thank you.
38
00:02:43,384 --> 00:02:45,085
We're here to talk about Bart.
39
00:02:45,119 --> 00:02:47,354
What did he do now?
40
00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:49,656
Oh, today, I'm not here to talk
about what he did.
41
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,091
I'm here to talk
about the future.
42
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,794
What did he do in the future?
43
00:02:53,828 --> 00:02:55,662
I'm not sure
what he's planning,
44
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,497
although there is a lot
of Internet chatter.
45
00:02:57,532 --> 00:02:59,249
I want to change
his character:
46
00:02:59,283 --> 00:03:00,600
less Dennis the Menace,
47
00:03:00,635 --> 00:03:01,902
more Casper the Ghost,
48
00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:03,270
if he were still alive.
49
00:03:03,304 --> 00:03:05,639
What if Bart took music lessons?
50
00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:08,742
Music classes could channel
his destructive impulses
51
00:03:08,776 --> 00:03:10,744
into artistic expression.
52
00:03:10,795 --> 00:03:13,246
I myself have been taking
flamenco lessons.
53
00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:20,721
Got it, music lessons.
54
00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,734
Mother!
55
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,570
Right. Right.
56
00:03:36,604 --> 00:03:37,938
Inside.
57
00:03:39,340 --> 00:03:41,525
Oh, stupid clog.
58
00:03:44,879 --> 00:03:47,781
My head hairs!
59
00:03:47,815 --> 00:03:49,616
I'm bald!
60
00:03:49,650 --> 00:03:50,801
Get... get...
61
00:03:50,835 --> 00:03:52,169
get in there.
62
00:03:55,056 --> 00:03:55,789
D'oh!
63
00:03:59,277 --> 00:04:00,410
Aw, damn it!
64
00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:03,163
Welcome back...
65
00:04:03,197 --> 00:04:05,699
to America's Most Tattooed Baby.
66
00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,201
Now, if the Lindblads can fit
just one more tattoo
67
00:04:08,236 --> 00:04:10,303
on baby Jennifer--
and she's getting pretty full,
68
00:04:10,338 --> 00:04:11,471
I can tell you that--
69
00:04:11,506 --> 00:04:14,541
they win the grand prize
of $100.
70
00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:15,976
So what'll it be?
71
00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,310
Walk away! Walk away!
72
00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:20,647
TV's gotten so lousy.
73
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:22,749
Did you ever wonder
if hippopotamuses
74
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,718
think that rhinos
are unicorns?
75
00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:26,820
TV's not so bad.
76
00:04:27,822 --> 00:04:29,573
Sweetie...
77
00:04:29,607 --> 00:04:31,241
did you ever think
of doing something
78
00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:33,160
a little more creative
with your time?
79
00:04:33,194 --> 00:04:34,795
If you're worried about
your Mother's Day present,
80
00:04:34,829 --> 00:04:35,829
it's in the works.
81
00:04:40,301 --> 00:04:43,203
I was thinking something
more artistic.
82
00:04:43,237 --> 00:04:44,838
Something musical.
83
00:04:44,872 --> 00:04:46,306
You could take advantage
84
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:49,543
of a fantastic musician
living right here.
85
00:04:55,249 --> 00:04:57,784
That's the kind of riff
you can aim for
86
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,653
after years of practice.
87
00:04:59,687 --> 00:05:02,389
We start off with the
fun stuff: music theory.
88
00:05:04,025 --> 00:05:05,659
Don't worry,
music theory's
89
00:05:05,693 --> 00:05:07,260
just a fancy word
for music math.
90
00:05:09,614 --> 00:05:10,797
My dear boy,
91
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,966
you undoubtedly think
of the slide whistle
92
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,435
as merely a whistle
that slides.
93
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:18,755
Let me disabuse you
of that misperception.
94
00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:24,578
Pass.
95
00:05:24,612 --> 00:05:26,596
Do you have any idea
how difficult...
96
00:05:26,631 --> 00:05:28,765
Bye, now.
97
00:05:31,636 --> 00:05:33,003
Behold!
98
00:05:33,037 --> 00:05:35,505
From the pages of Dune
and Dune Messiah,
99
00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,374
Gurney Halleck's beloved zither:
100
00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:38,959
the baliset.
101
00:05:41,529 --> 00:05:42,696
Pass.
102
00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:44,431
When I die,
103
00:05:44,465 --> 00:05:47,884
you will carry on the tradition
of... the Frink-e-min.
104
00:05:53,124 --> 00:05:54,090
Pass.
105
00:05:55,459 --> 00:05:57,160
Ah, Mr. Homer.
106
00:05:57,195 --> 00:05:59,863
I see you are wearing
the bald man's beret.
107
00:05:59,897 --> 00:06:01,364
Is it that obvious?
108
00:06:01,399 --> 00:06:02,566
Oh, yes.
109
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,100
The only thing that screams
110
00:06:04,135 --> 00:06:07,103
"I am hiding hairlessness" more
is a goatee.
111
00:06:07,138 --> 00:06:10,407
I'm as smooth as jazz.
112
00:06:14,045 --> 00:06:16,746
Oh... my wife has never seen
my head naked.
113
00:06:16,781 --> 00:06:18,748
Maybe I should wear
a cowboy hat.
114
00:06:18,783 --> 00:06:20,183
A cowboy hat means
115
00:06:20,218 --> 00:06:22,652
"I'm ashamed of my small penis."
116
00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:25,105
Don't even ask me
what this means!
117
00:06:25,139 --> 00:06:26,873
Yee-haw!
118
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,009
I'm a-compensatin'!
119
00:06:38,085 --> 00:06:39,452
New student.
120
00:06:39,487 --> 00:06:40,453
Sit at piano.
121
00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:42,556
My daughter teach you.
You, mother!
122
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:45,125
Come to kitchen and see
picture of my dead wife.
123
00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,826
That's okay. I...
124
00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:48,345
No, no, no, no.
125
00:06:48,379 --> 00:06:50,380
She is not dead in picture.
126
00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:52,249
Uh... she is dying.
127
00:06:52,283 --> 00:06:54,451
Let's go, Bart.
128
00:07:05,997 --> 00:07:08,098
So, you want lesson?
129
00:07:08,132 --> 00:07:10,100
Yes. I want lesson.
130
00:07:10,134 --> 00:07:11,534
I accept your whip.
131
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:15,105
A girl who likes candy?
132
00:07:15,139 --> 00:07:16,723
Wow.
133
00:07:23,522 --> 00:07:25,256
So, how much are lessons?
134
00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:27,358
I give you something you want...
135
00:07:27,392 --> 00:07:29,794
you give me something I want.
136
00:07:30,813 --> 00:07:32,997
I'm sorry,
did my voice go all evil?
137
00:07:33,031 --> 00:07:35,066
It is common
with Russian accent.
138
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,635
You'd better be asking
for something PC:
139
00:07:37,669 --> 00:07:39,103
pie or cake.
140
00:07:39,138 --> 00:07:41,506
Here's my offer:
my daughter give lessons,
141
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,107
you teach me to drive car.
142
00:07:43,142 --> 00:07:45,343
There might be
some nagging involved.
143
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,344
Deal!
144
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:48,346
Now we toast with vodka.
145
00:07:49,348 --> 00:07:51,149
Ah.
146
00:07:52,451 --> 00:07:53,718
Now we drive!
147
00:07:53,752 --> 00:07:55,603
Huh?
148
00:07:56,939 --> 00:07:58,806
Homer, I recommend
getting drunk
149
00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:00,741
on my most
expensive beer:
150
00:08:00,776 --> 00:08:02,610
Duff Platinum.
151
00:08:02,644 --> 00:08:03,661
Hey, what the...?
152
00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:05,463
But I used the best label paste.
153
00:08:07,766 --> 00:08:11,903
Those two hairs were what
was left of my youth, Moe.
154
00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:15,773
Hey, come on, there's
sexy bald, like, um...
155
00:08:15,807 --> 00:08:17,775
Babar, king of the elephants.
156
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:19,777
I read his books as a kid.
157
00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:21,646
He married his cousin, Celeste.
158
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,114
That was my takeaway.
159
00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:26,651
Those royal elephants have
trainers to keep them in shape.
160
00:08:26,685 --> 00:08:28,953
Average schmoe like me,
forget it.
161
00:08:28,987 --> 00:08:31,239
Well, let me see
how bald you are.
162
00:08:31,273 --> 00:08:34,108
Whoa... whoa!
Dear Lord.
163
00:08:34,142 --> 00:08:35,109
Here. Oh.
164
00:08:35,143 --> 00:08:36,577
You need this more than I do.
165
00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:44,585
Just... just what exactly
is this good for?
166
00:08:47,689 --> 00:08:50,291
It's nice when something
you plan in your head
167
00:08:50,325 --> 00:08:53,077
for so long
comes to fruition.
168
00:08:54,096 --> 00:08:55,796
Where you going, Bart?
169
00:08:55,847 --> 00:08:56,931
Piano lesson.
170
00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:59,383
Ooh, piano lesson.
171
00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:01,035
We put two of
those guys up there
172
00:09:01,069 --> 00:09:03,037
just for using
a big word.
173
00:09:03,071 --> 00:09:04,989
"Caché" is not a big word.
174
00:09:05,023 --> 00:09:08,793
Clickety clack!
175
00:09:08,827 --> 00:09:10,144
Wait, wait.
176
00:09:10,195 --> 00:09:11,562
I'm not learning anything.
177
00:09:11,597 --> 00:09:13,164
I'm just going
'cause the teacher's pretty.
178
00:09:13,198 --> 00:09:14,432
Okay.
179
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,267
But you'd better steal bananas
for all of us.
180
00:09:16,301 --> 00:09:17,435
I will!
181
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:18,669
Let me go.
182
00:09:18,704 --> 00:09:21,439
I have a swim lesson
with a gorgeous lifeguard.
183
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:22,440
What gender?
184
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,108
You're not allowed to ask.
185
00:09:24,142 --> 00:09:25,443
Okay.
186
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,811
Check your mirrors.
187
00:09:28,313 --> 00:09:30,681
Hands at 10:00 and 2:00.
188
00:09:30,716 --> 00:09:33,384
Slowly back out
of the driveway.
189
00:09:33,418 --> 00:09:35,436
Aah!
190
00:09:36,471 --> 00:09:37,471
Mmm...
191
00:09:39,124 --> 00:09:41,759
Daddy said I was
a accident.
192
00:09:43,028 --> 00:09:44,862
Okay, let's try again.
193
00:09:51,236 --> 00:09:52,820
That is so beautiful.
194
00:09:52,854 --> 00:09:53,821
Did you write it?
195
00:09:53,855 --> 00:09:55,323
These are scales.
196
00:09:55,357 --> 00:10:00,027
Now, memorize:
Every good Boris deserves farm.
197
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:01,128
Let me try.
198
00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:04,565
Every good booger
deserves flicking.
199
00:10:04,599 --> 00:10:06,267
Your tongue is nimble,
200
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,135
unlike sausage fingers.
201
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,588
Sausage fingers!
202
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:11,889
Do what I do.
203
00:10:17,162 --> 00:10:19,997
♪ Druguyu nevestu
204
00:10:20,032 --> 00:10:23,000
♪ Drugoi iyunya
205
00:10:23,035 --> 00:10:25,987
♪ Drugoi solnechni
206
00:10:26,021 --> 00:10:29,557
♪ Medovyi mesyats...
207
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,996
♪ Yeshche odim sezon
208
00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:37,615
♪ Yeshche odna prichina
209
00:10:37,649 --> 00:10:41,452
♪ Dlya vupi makin'...
210
00:10:42,287 --> 00:10:43,287
Ah...
211
00:10:43,322 --> 00:10:45,323
♪ Dlya makin'...
212
00:10:45,357 --> 00:10:46,457
♪ Whoopee...
213
00:10:46,491 --> 00:10:47,491
Scales!
214
00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:50,995
Lesson over.
215
00:10:52,531 --> 00:10:54,498
Lesson over.
216
00:10:59,938 --> 00:11:01,038
Aah!
217
00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:02,423
What are you doing?
218
00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:03,924
I want to go backwards.
219
00:11:03,975 --> 00:11:05,643
Like Russian economy,
under Putin.
220
00:11:07,713 --> 00:11:09,880
Stop making Putin jokes.
221
00:11:09,915 --> 00:11:11,315
You sound like police...
222
00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:12,750
under Putin.
223
00:11:12,784 --> 00:11:14,802
Ugh. Speaking of police...
224
00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:16,437
I'm sorry, Officer.
225
00:11:16,471 --> 00:11:18,189
I believe my license is, uh...
226
00:11:18,223 --> 00:11:21,442
...somewhere in these pairs
of easy-fit blue jeans.
227
00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:23,110
Eh? Eh?
228
00:11:23,145 --> 00:11:26,697
That's not the way
American police do things.
229
00:11:26,731 --> 00:11:27,848
Finally.
230
00:11:27,883 --> 00:11:29,583
Someone who knows
what a traffic stop
231
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:31,135
is really all about.
232
00:11:31,169 --> 00:11:34,138
Uh, Chief, don't you think
those jeans are a little tight?
233
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:38,793
We're all not high-waisted
like you, Lou, okay?
234
00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:41,762
I'm just gonna lie down
in the backseat here.
235
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:45,666
Okay.
236
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:49,103
All right, the blue knight
is ready for action!
237
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,344
What's wrong?
238
00:11:57,379 --> 00:11:58,679
Every note you play
239
00:11:58,713 --> 00:12:01,482
sounds like dying animal
writhing on keys.
240
00:12:01,516 --> 00:12:02,616
Awesome!
241
00:12:02,651 --> 00:12:04,919
I just want to get more students
242
00:12:04,953 --> 00:12:07,455
and help my father
with his dream.
243
00:12:08,723 --> 00:12:10,357
Buying a limo.
244
00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:12,560
He could tell big shots
in the back that,
245
00:12:12,594 --> 00:12:14,595
no, they cannot smoke.
246
00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:16,897
Seriously,
I'm gonna make you proud.
247
00:12:16,932 --> 00:12:18,999
I have hidden talents.
248
00:12:19,034 --> 00:12:23,938
Oh, Bort, if only you make
such a miracle happen...
249
00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:27,508
I would love your
hands forever.
250
00:12:46,244 --> 00:12:47,394
Wait a minute.
251
00:12:47,429 --> 00:12:48,796
You can't hear.
252
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:55,202
I am so proud.
253
00:12:55,237 --> 00:12:58,572
I would've been happy
if Bart was just a piano mover.
254
00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:02,910
Thank you.
255
00:13:02,944 --> 00:13:04,512
I owe it all to Zhenya.
256
00:13:04,546 --> 00:13:06,480
Can you teach my boys?
257
00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:08,149
But no tickling
the ivories.
258
00:13:08,183 --> 00:13:09,567
You treat them
with respect.
259
00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:11,602
Can you teach my monkey?
260
00:13:11,636 --> 00:13:13,971
Then I can deal
with the Musician's Union
261
00:13:14,005 --> 00:13:15,973
instead of the Humane Society.
262
00:13:16,007 --> 00:13:17,208
Much easier to muscle.
263
00:13:17,242 --> 00:13:19,710
Zhenya, I couldn't have
done it without you.
264
00:13:19,744 --> 00:13:20,945
And you.
265
00:13:23,482 --> 00:13:24,465
Bart!
266
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,502
Bart, I've never been
so proud of you.
267
00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:31,405
Never, never, never!
268
00:13:31,439 --> 00:13:34,742
And now I'll always be
at home in a saloon.
269
00:13:34,776 --> 00:13:36,610
Something smells fishy.
270
00:13:36,645 --> 00:13:38,179
Yar, that would be me.
271
00:13:38,213 --> 00:13:39,413
But I agree.
272
00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:41,415
There's something
funny here.
273
00:13:41,449 --> 00:13:42,550
Is it me?
274
00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:44,068
No!
Oh...
275
00:13:47,587 --> 00:13:50,923
Hey, your baseball cap's one
plastic bump tighter than usual.
276
00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:51,924
What gives?
277
00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:54,026
Okay, guys, here's the deal.
278
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,761
I've gone bald.
279
00:13:57,030 --> 00:13:58,163
Then again,
who cares?
280
00:13:58,198 --> 00:14:00,065
Yeah, you already
landed a hot wife.
281
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,934
That's the only reason
men evolved hair.
282
00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,068
What are you talking about?
283
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,137
You lured Marge in
with your hair.
284
00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:06,672
You trapped her
with marriage.
285
00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:08,974
You skinned and field-gutted
her by having kids.
286
00:14:09,008 --> 00:14:10,876
Now she's mounted on
your wall for good,
287
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:13,145
with fake glass eyes
and a rubber tongue.
288
00:14:13,179 --> 00:14:15,614
The way you put it,
it sounds so perfect,
289
00:14:15,648 --> 00:14:16,932
but it's not.
290
00:14:16,966 --> 00:14:18,634
You sound seriously depressed.
291
00:14:18,668 --> 00:14:20,502
Why don't we talk
about it over at Moe's?
292
00:14:20,537 --> 00:14:21,904
It's not even noon.
293
00:14:21,938 --> 00:14:23,589
Yeah, I've got
a watch, egghead.
294
00:14:24,908 --> 00:14:27,142
I couldn't help overhearing
your predicament.
295
00:14:27,177 --> 00:14:29,645
Mainly because
my hearing is so great.
296
00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:30,646
Who are you?
297
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,648
The answer to your prayers.
298
00:14:32,682 --> 00:14:34,550
Are you my guardian angel?
299
00:14:34,584 --> 00:14:37,453
If so, can you turn a
pumpkin into a chariot?
300
00:14:37,487 --> 00:14:39,655
Even a used Camry would be okay.
301
00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:42,991
No, just a regular
hairless Joe like you.
302
00:14:43,026 --> 00:14:45,327
Been bald since I was 23.
303
00:14:45,361 --> 00:14:47,863
With the money I've saved,
I bought a yacht.
304
00:14:47,897 --> 00:14:49,198
Whoa...
305
00:14:49,232 --> 00:14:50,382
You're cool with it?
306
00:14:50,417 --> 00:14:52,317
I haven't even told my wife.
307
00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:53,919
You wait for
the right moment,
308
00:14:53,953 --> 00:14:56,155
you show her
that glorious dome,
309
00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:58,957
and then you rest it sweetly
on her bosom
310
00:14:58,992 --> 00:15:01,560
and let the kisses
flow like rain.
311
00:15:01,594 --> 00:15:04,062
Wow, is that what
your wife did?
312
00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:05,364
No wife.
313
00:15:05,398 --> 00:15:08,133
I just slept with
thousands of bald women.
314
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:16,108
Caught your recital, Bart.
315
00:15:16,142 --> 00:15:17,776
Lisa, isn't it great
316
00:15:17,811 --> 00:15:19,678
to have a musical genius
in the family?
317
00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:21,213
Helen Lovejoy,
318
00:15:21,247 --> 00:15:23,515
you always have to stir the pot.
319
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:26,185
Unlike you, when you make
your lumpy clam chowder.
320
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:28,520
I guess Bart must be
a musical genius,
321
00:15:28,555 --> 00:15:31,023
because frauds are
always found out.
322
00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:32,758
Always.
323
00:15:42,235 --> 00:15:43,852
My work is done.
324
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:47,206
Now to reward myself
with a case of wine.
325
00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:51,543
Hi, Zhenya.
I'm here for my lesson.
326
00:15:51,578 --> 00:15:53,512
Good to see you, my love.
327
00:15:53,546 --> 00:15:54,880
Sit on porch.
328
00:15:54,914 --> 00:15:56,181
Are there other
people in here?
329
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,116
Because of your performance,
330
00:15:58,151 --> 00:16:00,118
I win many new students.
331
00:16:00,153 --> 00:16:01,620
♪
332
00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:04,723
me on. I got to learn my mom's
stripper music by midnight.
333
00:16:04,757 --> 00:16:06,692
But if I got you
all these students,
334
00:16:06,726 --> 00:16:07,893
shouldn't you be grateful?
335
00:16:07,927 --> 00:16:10,095
Oh, of course I'm grateful.
336
00:16:10,129 --> 00:16:12,397
Here is cushion for porch chair.
337
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:17,302
Go to "bata boom."
338
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,475
Mopped myself into a corner.
339
00:16:27,714 --> 00:16:29,364
Oh...
Mom,
340
00:16:29,415 --> 00:16:30,699
you'd still be proud of me
341
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,484
if I couldn't
play the piano, right?
342
00:16:32,502 --> 00:16:33,869
Of course.
343
00:16:33,903 --> 00:16:37,105
But very, very, very angry
344
00:16:37,140 --> 00:16:38,824
at all the time I wasted.
345
00:16:39,626 --> 00:16:40,909
Gulp? Was that a gulp?
346
00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:42,594
Are you getting
a sore throat?
347
00:16:42,629 --> 00:16:44,279
Let me give you
some castor oil.
348
00:16:44,314 --> 00:16:45,681
Hmm...
349
00:16:49,953 --> 00:16:52,487
You'll need your voice
to say, "Thanks, Mom,"
350
00:16:52,522 --> 00:16:54,223
after your next recital.
351
00:16:54,257 --> 00:16:55,324
My wha...?
352
00:16:55,358 --> 00:16:56,491
I signed you up for
353
00:16:56,526 --> 00:16:59,711
the 10-And-Below Talent Show
next week. Huh?
354
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:02,714
You know, I'm almost 11.
It's not really fair.
355
00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:04,816
Bart, when you were
on that stage,
356
00:17:04,851 --> 00:17:06,985
it felt like you were
pouring those notes
357
00:17:07,020 --> 00:17:08,654
right into my heart.
358
00:17:08,688 --> 00:17:10,522
Hey, one of those notes
359
00:17:10,557 --> 00:17:12,324
could go to your brain
and kill you.
360
00:17:12,358 --> 00:17:14,393
Are you sure you want
to take that chance?
361
00:17:14,427 --> 00:17:17,629
A proud mother
always does.
362
00:17:21,084 --> 00:17:22,818
First of all,
you're over ten years old.
363
00:17:22,852 --> 00:17:24,486
Second, you're clearly
Justin Bieber.
364
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,122
That's another 25 bucks
we'll never see.
365
00:17:27,156 --> 00:17:28,490
Gosh!
366
00:17:31,027 --> 00:17:34,029
♪ Who can make the sun rise?
367
00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:36,398
Why won't anybody tell me?
368
00:17:51,681 --> 00:17:52,648
Oh...
369
00:17:52,682 --> 00:17:53,815
I'm sorry.
370
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,017
I was faking it.
371
00:17:58,955 --> 00:18:01,189
I lied so I could see Zhenya.
372
00:18:01,224 --> 00:18:03,625
Zhenya. Oh, Zhenya.
Everyone knows Zhenya.
373
00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:09,031
But there's really only one girl
whose opinion matters to me.
374
00:18:09,065 --> 00:18:10,983
My mom.
375
00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,951
I'd like to go home now.
376
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:16,421
And to think you'd do this
on Mother's Day.
377
00:18:16,456 --> 00:18:18,697
Is it too late to make you
breakfast in bed?
378
00:18:23,984 --> 00:18:25,184
Uh, Mom?
379
00:18:25,218 --> 00:18:27,820
I'm sorry I pretended
to be good at piano.
380
00:18:27,854 --> 00:18:30,022
And I'm really ashamed
that I lied.
381
00:18:31,491 --> 00:18:33,008
Excuse me.
382
00:18:34,327 --> 00:18:37,796
Mrs. Marge, I took
my driver's test.
383
00:18:37,831 --> 00:18:38,864
Did you pass?
384
00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,832
More or less.
385
00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:44,520
If I eat an orange wedge,
the whole thing's gonna blow.
386
00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:46,956
Well, I'm glad your side
of the deal worked out.
387
00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:48,123
What are you talking about?
388
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:49,792
Your boy is genius!
389
00:18:49,826 --> 00:18:51,794
No, he cheated.
390
00:18:51,828 --> 00:18:55,431
Marge, in Russia,
everyone succeeds by cheating.
391
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:58,300
Even Russian dressing
is just Thousand Island.
392
00:18:59,502 --> 00:19:01,704
But your son is a good boy.
393
00:19:01,738 --> 00:19:05,307
He cheated for love,
and he cheated for you.
394
00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:09,879
Thank you!
395
00:19:11,865 --> 00:19:13,365
All right.
396
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,167
A chance to make a new friend.
397
00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:20,506
Listen, sweetie...
398
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:23,509
it was wrong of me
to force my dreams on you.
399
00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:26,779
Yeah, your generation won't have
any dreams come true.
400
00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:30,249
Sweetie, you're just
gonna be who you are.
401
00:19:30,283 --> 00:19:31,367
Well, who am I?
402
00:19:31,401 --> 00:19:34,503
You are unique,
you are special,
403
00:19:34,537 --> 00:19:37,039
and at some point,
that's gonna come together
404
00:19:37,073 --> 00:19:38,340
and work for you.
405
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:40,409
I know it.
Thanks, Mom.
406
00:19:40,443 --> 00:19:42,077
And that means
no punishment, right?
407
00:19:42,112 --> 00:19:43,279
Wrong.
408
00:19:43,313 --> 00:19:45,481
You have to walk
all the way over to Grampa
409
00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:47,516
to take a plate
of cookies I baked.
410
00:19:48,885 --> 00:19:50,853
Here's your
new plate, Grampa.
411
00:19:50,887 --> 00:19:52,054
Oh, boy!
412
00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:53,589
There's crumbs on it!
413
00:19:57,294 --> 00:19:58,260
Marge...
414
00:20:00,096 --> 00:20:01,880
I have something to show you.
415
00:20:01,914 --> 00:20:04,600
Is it your impression
of Mr. Burns eating soup?
416
00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:06,368
Because I'm not in the mood.
417
00:20:06,403 --> 00:20:08,270
No, it's something else.
418
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,607
So?
419
00:20:12,943 --> 00:20:15,577
I've always wondered
what you were hiding
420
00:20:15,612 --> 00:20:17,046
under your curly locks,
421
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,349
my beautiful yellow melon.
422
00:20:21,952 --> 00:20:23,118
Hair, no hair...
423
00:20:23,153 --> 00:20:25,354
I don't really think
about it.
424
00:20:25,388 --> 00:20:27,723
Confidence is so
attractive in a man.
425
00:20:27,757 --> 00:20:29,358
Tell me about it.
426
00:20:29,392 --> 00:20:31,994
Oh, Marge, when you
hold me like that...
427
00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,415
Thank you, God.
428
00:20:36,449 --> 00:20:41,449
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
429
00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:27,697
Shh!