1
00:01:14,598 --> 00:01:22,400
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:01:33,851 --> 00:01:36,219
Dad, how can you call
it a ski weekend
3
00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:38,188
If we're going home
at dawn on Sunday?
4
00:01:38,255 --> 00:01:39,956
Got to leave early
to beat the traffic.
5
00:01:40,024 --> 00:01:42,325
Now, to get
on route 205,
6
00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,194
And it's a straight
shot home.
7
00:01:44,261 --> 00:01:45,695
(chuckles)
8
00:01:45,763 --> 00:01:48,164
Homer:
Oh, for crying out...!
9
00:01:48,232 --> 00:01:49,866
(grunting angrily)
10
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:53,303
I hate traffic--
the band and the phenomenon.
11
00:01:53,370 --> 00:01:54,704
Well, there's only one game
12
00:01:54,772 --> 00:01:56,739
We can play in the car
over and over
13
00:01:56,807 --> 00:01:58,975
And over again: Bonk it.
14
00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:00,610
Oh, I'm sorry, kids.
15
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,979
We lost the batteries for that.
16
00:02:03,047 --> 00:02:05,215
(chuckling)
17
00:02:05,282 --> 00:02:07,283
No problem. A couple
just rolled out
18
00:02:07,351 --> 00:02:09,252
From behind
your seat.
(groans)
19
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,687
Computerized voice:
Bonk it. Twist it.
20
00:02:10,754 --> 00:02:11,988
Smack it. Thwack it.
21
00:02:12,056 --> 00:02:14,090
Whack it. Bonk it. Bop it.
22
00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:16,192
Thwack it. Twist it. Bop it.
(marge and homer sigh)
23
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:17,327
Smack it. Whack it.
24
00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:18,461
Thwack it. Bonk it.
25
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,029
Twist it. Smack it.
26
00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:21,464
Bonk it. Twist it. Smack it.
27
00:02:21,532 --> 00:02:24,334
Thwack it. Whack it. Bonk it.
Twist it. Smack it.
28
00:02:24,401 --> 00:02:25,768
Thwack it. Whack it. Bonk it.
29
00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:27,270
Twist it. Smack it.
30
00:02:27,338 --> 00:02:28,771
Thwack it. Whack it. Bonk it.
31
00:02:28,839 --> 00:02:30,974
I can't take it anymore!
32
00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,876
Whack it. Thwack...
33
00:02:32,943 --> 00:02:34,510
Bonk it. Twist it.
34
00:02:34,578 --> 00:02:36,579
I can't take
it anymore!
35
00:02:37,948 --> 00:02:38,848
(gasps)
(gasps)
36
00:02:38,916 --> 00:02:40,583
Bonk it. Twist it. Smack it.
37
00:02:40,651 --> 00:02:42,619
Bonk it. Whack it. Twist it.
D'oh!
38
00:02:42,686 --> 00:02:44,053
(slowed down):
Twist it.
39
00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:45,855
Smack it.
40
00:02:45,923 --> 00:02:47,323
Oh, darn.
41
00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:49,025
The batteries
are dead.
42
00:02:49,093 --> 00:02:50,560
Not to worry--
it plugs
43
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:51,895
Into the cigarette lighter.
44
00:02:51,962 --> 00:02:53,529
Bonk-bonk-bonk it.
Twist it. Smack it. Thwack it.
45
00:02:53,597 --> 00:02:54,831
Whack it. Bonk it. Bop it.
46
00:02:54,899 --> 00:02:55,865
Hey, kids, it's
daddy's turn.
47
00:02:55,933 --> 00:02:57,133
Bonk it. Bop it. Twist it.
48
00:02:57,201 --> 00:02:58,534
Smack it. Thwack it. Whack it.
49
00:02:58,602 --> 00:02:59,535
Stomp it!
50
00:02:59,603 --> 00:03:00,603
Crush it! Kill it!
51
00:03:00,671 --> 00:03:01,738
(slowed down):
Bonk it.
52
00:03:01,805 --> 00:03:04,107
Bonk... It.
53
00:03:04,174 --> 00:03:06,643
Finally, some
peace and quiet.
54
00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:08,645
(horn honks, marge gasps)
55
00:03:08,712 --> 00:03:10,280
(stammering)
56
00:03:10,347 --> 00:03:12,982
Oh, why do my actions
have consequences?
57
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:14,217
(grunting)
58
00:03:14,285 --> 00:03:16,219
(tires screeching)
59
00:03:16,287 --> 00:03:17,587
(screaming)
60
00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:21,691
(screaming)
61
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:30,500
(thud)
62
00:03:30,567 --> 00:03:32,335
(creaking)
63
00:03:34,138 --> 00:03:36,873
Now, kids, we're about
to get really cold,
64
00:03:36,941 --> 00:03:39,943
Then really warm.
65
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,277
(moans)
66
00:03:48,919 --> 00:03:50,954
Homer (groggily):
Bonk it. Twist it. Smack it.
67
00:03:55,159 --> 00:03:58,094
(moaning)
68
00:03:58,162 --> 00:03:59,529
Drink up, sweetie.
69
00:03:59,596 --> 00:04:01,631
Let the possum work its magic.
70
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:03,700
(gags)
possum?!
71
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,034
Oh, don't worry,
we don't kill it.
72
00:04:05,102 --> 00:04:06,669
We just dip it.
73
00:04:06,737 --> 00:04:08,571
(frightened chattering)
74
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:09,939
What happened?
75
00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:11,040
What happened is,
76
00:04:11,108 --> 00:04:12,408
I saved your life.
77
00:04:12,476 --> 00:04:14,677
Now, you's had a rough day.
78
00:04:14,745 --> 00:04:17,080
Why don't you have
a pull on this?
79
00:04:18,615 --> 00:04:19,816
Where's the hooch?
80
00:04:19,883 --> 00:04:22,118
Oh, excuse my faux pas.
81
00:04:22,186 --> 00:04:24,287
That jug was fo' pa.
82
00:04:24,355 --> 00:04:26,756
(snoring)
83
00:04:26,824 --> 00:04:27,957
Come on, now.
84
00:04:28,025 --> 00:04:30,326
We'll go on back
to the still.
85
00:04:30,394 --> 00:04:33,162
And in case we run
into trouble...
86
00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:34,464
(sighs)
oh, brandine!
87
00:04:34,531 --> 00:04:36,666
Where is the bazook?
88
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,434
(chuckles)
89
00:04:38,502 --> 00:04:41,204
Oh, he's gonna shoot
those google earth folks
90
00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:44,107
What caught me
with my breeches down.
91
00:04:44,174 --> 00:04:47,977
This here's my pride and joy:
'ol betsy.
92
00:04:48,045 --> 00:04:51,347
A female that gives birth
to alcohol.
93
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:53,916
Cletus:
Now, gentlemen, let us toast
94
00:04:53,984 --> 00:04:56,786
Our new friend's escape
from death's icy grip
95
00:04:56,854 --> 00:04:59,389
With my latest batch
of whoopee water.
96
00:04:59,456 --> 00:05:02,525
(excited whoops and hollers)
97
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,761
So, what y'all think?
98
00:05:04,828 --> 00:05:06,896
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good.
99
00:05:06,964 --> 00:05:08,231
(chuckles)
100
00:05:08,298 --> 00:05:10,900
It angrys up my fists!
101
00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:13,870
I just remembered my feud
with this here tree!
102
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:16,739
Get her done. Get her done.
103
00:05:18,342 --> 00:05:20,476
What's your take,
city boy?
104
00:05:20,544 --> 00:05:22,345
Well, uh...
105
00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:26,649
It's got a rich mash base
and a sense of danger.
106
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:30,119
And I detect notes
of elderberry, tobacco, oak--
107
00:05:30,187 --> 00:05:32,155
No, poison oak--
108
00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:34,057
And hints of game.
109
00:05:34,124 --> 00:05:35,792
(impressed murmuring)
110
00:05:35,859 --> 00:05:37,727
That is amazing!
111
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:40,329
You have the eloquence
and urgency
112
00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:43,733
Of a census worker
caught in a bear trap.
113
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,135
We's gonna invite you
to all our soirees,
114
00:05:46,203 --> 00:05:47,804
Mixers and drink-'em-ups.
115
00:05:47,871 --> 00:05:49,505
(cheering)
116
00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:52,175
Now let's enjoy
the bluegrass stylings
117
00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:54,444
Of the country bear jamboree.
118
00:05:54,511 --> 00:05:56,345
(growling, clanging)
119
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:06,089
(homer laughing)
120
00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:09,492
So, you guys have
any video games?
121
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,827
Nope, but my mama
brought some
122
00:06:10,894 --> 00:06:13,596
Of these boom potatoes
back from iraq.
123
00:06:22,573 --> 00:06:23,940
(booming)
124
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:26,409
Set 'em up again.
125
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:31,280
So, I'll hide,
and you guys
126
00:06:31,348 --> 00:06:33,149
Count to 100.
127
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,484
One.
Two.
128
00:06:34,551 --> 00:06:35,651
Backwards "e".
129
00:06:35,719 --> 00:06:36,719
One-legged triangle.
130
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:37,820
Banana hot dog.
131
00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:39,255
Double banana hot dog.
132
00:06:39,323 --> 00:06:40,823
60 corncob two.
133
00:06:43,927 --> 00:06:45,695
(giggles)
this is the best hiding place.
134
00:06:45,762 --> 00:06:47,830
They'll never find me.
135
00:06:50,901 --> 00:06:51,868
I'm here.
136
00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:53,069
Come find me.
137
00:06:53,137 --> 00:06:54,871
Olly olly oxen free.
138
00:06:54,938 --> 00:06:57,473
Olly olly oxen free!
139
00:06:57,541 --> 00:07:00,209
(whimpers)
140
00:07:00,277 --> 00:07:03,179
Why did I do poetry club
instead of girl scouts?
141
00:07:03,247 --> 00:07:06,215
Why did I do poetry club instead
of girl scouts?
142
00:07:06,283 --> 00:07:08,818
Female voices:
Dark is she,
but brilliant.
143
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:12,455
Black are her wings--
black on black.
144
00:07:13,657 --> 00:07:15,525
She is lilith,
145
00:07:15,592 --> 00:07:18,961
Who leadeth forth the hordes
of the abyss.
146
00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,104
(chuckles nervously)
147
00:07:28,172 --> 00:07:30,540
You are going to
be so embarrassed.
148
00:07:30,607 --> 00:07:32,375
There are two other
people at this party
149
00:07:32,442 --> 00:07:33,910
Dressed just like you.
150
00:07:33,977 --> 00:07:35,144
(chuckles nervously)
151
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:39,250
State thy business.
152
00:07:39,318 --> 00:07:41,452
My name's lisa,
and I was playing hide-and-seek
153
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,921
When I met you ladies.
(chuckles nervously)
154
00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:44,389
Please don't hurt me.
155
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:45,990
We're not going
to hurt you.
156
00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:48,593
But we don't like outsiders
observing our esbat.
Uh-huh.
157
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:50,061
What's an esbat?
158
00:07:50,129 --> 00:07:52,864
An ancient ritual
in celebration of the full moon.
159
00:07:52,932 --> 00:07:54,165
We're wiccans.
160
00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:55,400
You mean witches?
161
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:56,768
Technically...
162
00:07:56,836 --> 00:07:58,436
But we're not
into broomsticks
163
00:07:58,504 --> 00:08:00,238
Or pointy hats.
164
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:02,473
Well, I'm glad
you're not witches.
165
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,510
Wouldn't want you
to cast a spell on me.
166
00:08:05,578 --> 00:08:07,312
Oh, we cast spells.
167
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,147
And they work.
168
00:08:09,215 --> 00:08:10,715
Sure, they do.
169
00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:13,218
If magic was real,
I'd use it to get out
170
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:15,653
Of my pipe cleaner art project
that's due tomorrow.
171
00:08:16,922 --> 00:08:19,324
You should keep
an open mind.
172
00:08:19,391 --> 00:08:20,959
Things said in the circle
173
00:08:21,026 --> 00:08:22,861
Have a surprising way
of coming true.
174
00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:25,230
Homer:
Lisa. Lisa!
175
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,399
Dad, over here!
176
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,734
Come, sisters
of the elements.
177
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:32,270
Let us leave this place
in a manner most wiccan.
178
00:08:32,338 --> 00:08:33,571
What are you
talking about?
179
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,340
Text your mom
to pick us up.
180
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:39,644
Oh, sweetie,
I found you.
181
00:08:39,712 --> 00:08:41,546
Now, who's going
to find us?
182
00:08:41,614 --> 00:08:43,381
Help!
183
00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:48,286
Uh-oh.
184
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:54,325
(ticking)
185
00:08:54,393 --> 00:08:57,528
I have one minute to avoid
my first late assignment ever.
186
00:08:57,596 --> 00:08:59,030
(frustrated grunting)
187
00:08:59,098 --> 00:09:02,033
The pipe cleaner fur
is coming off on my hands.
188
00:09:05,871 --> 00:09:08,740
Class, miss hoover
will not be in today,
189
00:09:08,807 --> 00:09:10,675
So you all get a's
190
00:09:10,743 --> 00:09:12,477
On your pipe cleaner
sculptures.
191
00:09:12,544 --> 00:09:14,145
(students cheering)
192
00:09:14,213 --> 00:09:15,280
Yes!
Ha ha!
193
00:09:16,715 --> 00:09:18,249
What happened to miss hoover?
194
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,585
Came down with a spell
of stomach flu.
195
00:09:20,653 --> 00:09:22,253
Spell? Those girls couldn't
196
00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:24,422
Have made her sick...
Or could they?
197
00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:27,525
Maybe we'll pass the time
with another craft project.
198
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:29,260
I'll let one of you pick.
199
00:09:29,328 --> 00:09:30,561
Uh... Lisa.
200
00:09:30,629 --> 00:09:31,963
Which craft?
201
00:09:32,031 --> 00:09:32,964
(gasps)
202
00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:34,732
Which craft?
203
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,167
(gasps)
204
00:09:36,235 --> 00:09:38,469
Which craft?!
205
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,738
(sighs)
206
00:09:40,806 --> 00:09:42,840
Cletus:
This here country is home
207
00:09:42,908 --> 00:09:45,610
To over 300
family-owned stills.
208
00:09:45,678 --> 00:09:48,379
None of them big
corporate moonshiners,
209
00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:50,348
Like crazy-think
white lightning
210
00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,451
Or dwayne saggery's
demento juice.
211
00:09:53,519 --> 00:09:56,854
So, let's go taste some
independent hooch!
212
00:09:56,922 --> 00:09:58,957
¶ ¶
213
00:10:14,073 --> 00:10:15,540
¶ ¶
214
00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:26,918
Hey, thanks for bringing us
down here, homer.
215
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:28,453
Yeah. There's
something wonderful
216
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,221
About being
drunk outdoors.
217
00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:31,889
I wonder if
moe misses us.
218
00:10:31,957 --> 00:10:33,424
Moe:
No, I don't miss you.
219
00:10:33,492 --> 00:10:36,060
Now, get back to my bar
for happy hour,
220
00:10:36,128 --> 00:10:39,197
Or I'll paint the snow pink
with your brains.
221
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,066
(guns cocking)
222
00:10:42,134 --> 00:10:45,336
Drop your fire sticks,
man possum.
223
00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:47,638
Oh, uh, so, uh... So I guess
this means you hillbillies
224
00:10:47,706 --> 00:10:49,407
Are going to have your way
with me, huh?
225
00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:50,908
Oh, for god's sake.
226
00:10:50,976 --> 00:10:52,944
You know, one hillbilly
has his way
227
00:10:53,012 --> 00:10:55,146
With one fat guy in deliverance,
228
00:10:55,214 --> 00:10:58,449
And suddenly, people think
that's all hillbillies do.
229
00:10:58,517 --> 00:11:02,020
I suppose you think all space
is star wars.
230
00:11:02,087 --> 00:11:04,122
No, I... I thought we had
a connection here,
231
00:11:04,189 --> 00:11:06,290
And we're out in the woods
and everything, and...
232
00:11:06,358 --> 00:11:09,660
Hey, forget it!
I...I ain't gonna beg for it.
233
00:11:09,728 --> 00:11:11,896
You'll never know
what you missed out on.
234
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:12,830
(horse neighs)
235
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,636
(cat meows)
236
00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:21,839
Did you girls make
miss hoover sick?
237
00:11:21,907 --> 00:11:26,110
Oh, no, we would never ask
the goddess to harm a teacher.
238
00:11:26,178 --> 00:11:28,479
But if the goddess
chose to help you
239
00:11:28,547 --> 00:11:31,416
By giving miss hoover
the hershey squirts,
240
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,384
Such is her divine wisdom.
241
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:37,555
Oh, listen, not that
I've lost my skepticism,
242
00:11:37,623 --> 00:11:39,891
But I am interested
in learning more about wiccans.
243
00:11:39,958 --> 00:11:41,125
Are you a minority group
244
00:11:41,193 --> 00:11:42,794
As defined by
ivy league admissions?
245
00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:43,961
Cornell and dartmouth.
246
00:11:44,029 --> 00:11:45,396
What else ya got?
247
00:11:45,464 --> 00:11:46,731
We worship nature.
248
00:11:46,799 --> 00:11:48,366
I worship nature!
249
00:11:48,434 --> 00:11:49,801
Want to join us?
250
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:52,470
Well, it is an honor
to be asked.
251
00:11:52,538 --> 00:11:53,838
But I never make
a final decision
252
00:11:53,906 --> 00:11:55,740
In the middle of a
forest at night.
253
00:11:55,808 --> 00:11:57,208
Frankie: Hey, hey,
that's smart thinkin'!
254
00:11:57,276 --> 00:11:58,509
Shut up and dig
your own grave.
255
00:11:58,577 --> 00:11:59,710
What if I don't dig it?
256
00:11:59,778 --> 00:12:01,012
What are you gonna do then?
257
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,047
Guess I'll have to
dig it for ya.
258
00:12:03,115 --> 00:12:05,950
With your bad back?
Forget about it!
259
00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:07,852
(grunting)
260
00:12:09,221 --> 00:12:10,688
Lisa:
Hmm...
261
00:12:15,661 --> 00:12:17,662
Is that a pentagram?
262
00:12:17,729 --> 00:12:21,032
Lis! You've finally come
over to the dark side!
263
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,301
Um, it's the wiccan home page.
264
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,070
I'm thinking of joining.
265
00:12:26,138 --> 00:12:27,672
No, no, no.
266
00:12:27,739 --> 00:12:29,740
You're too young
to be a witch.
267
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:32,477
Savor the steps
leading up to it.
268
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,079
College anorexic,
string of bad marriages,
269
00:12:35,147 --> 00:12:37,915
Career disappointments,
failed pottery shop.
270
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:39,684
And then when you're
old and alone,
271
00:12:39,751 --> 00:12:41,652
You can hit
the witch thing hard.
272
00:12:42,855 --> 00:12:43,721
(dissonant note)
273
00:12:46,758 --> 00:12:49,694
Hey, every witch
needs a familiar.
274
00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:52,897
I'm gonna put a spell on you!
Yes, I am,
275
00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:54,665
My tuna-breath familiar.
(meows)
276
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,968
(giggling):
Zap! Zap! Zap!
277
00:12:57,035 --> 00:12:58,569
Zap! Zap! Zap!
278
00:12:58,637 --> 00:13:00,138
I curse you, hell's kitten!
279
00:13:00,205 --> 00:13:02,073
Just as I feared.
280
00:13:02,141 --> 00:13:04,375
Her buddhism has led
directly to witchcraft.
281
00:13:07,713 --> 00:13:09,814
(gasps) and she's
teleconferencing the devil
282
00:13:09,882 --> 00:13:11,549
Using that computer from hell!
283
00:13:11,617 --> 00:13:13,484
I think it says "dell."
284
00:13:13,552 --> 00:13:15,186
We'll let the authorities
sort that out.
285
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:29,200
(slurping)
mmm, not bad.
286
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,436
(sirens wailing)
what's that twirly ruckus?
287
00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:34,906
(gasps) the gummiment!
288
00:13:34,973 --> 00:13:36,007
(panicked chattering)
289
00:13:39,378 --> 00:13:42,847
("cursum perficio" plays)
290
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,653
Initiate, how does one
enter the circle?
291
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,656
With perfect faith
and perfect love.
292
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:55,760
Wiccans (chanting):
Join us, join us, join us.
293
00:13:58,730 --> 00:14:00,631
Do not sanctify that witch!
294
00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:01,532
(music stops)
295
00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:07,905
I kinda feel sorry for them,
crammed in that back seat.
296
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,308
Toss them a judy blume
novel, lou.
297
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:12,310
Uh, all we've got
is wifey, chief.
298
00:14:12,377 --> 00:14:13,644
Nothing with kids in it?
299
00:14:13,712 --> 00:14:15,880
Damn budget cuts.
300
00:14:17,564 --> 00:14:20,966
Crowd (chanting): Burn, burn,
burn! Burn, burn, burn!
301
00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:24,536
Double bubble boil and trouble?
302
00:14:24,603 --> 00:14:25,737
Today, springfield will see
303
00:14:25,805 --> 00:14:28,606
Its first witch trials
in 12 years.
304
00:14:28,674 --> 00:14:30,608
Oh, I think I see
the witches now.
305
00:14:30,676 --> 00:14:32,210
This reporter
has never encountered
306
00:14:32,278 --> 00:14:34,112
Such disfigured crones.
307
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,647
We're not the witches!
308
00:14:35,714 --> 00:14:37,248
Oh, well then
you must be victims
309
00:14:37,316 --> 00:14:39,150
Of the witches'
hideous curse.
310
00:14:39,218 --> 00:14:42,220
You didn't think I was so
hideous that night we made out
311
00:14:42,288 --> 00:14:44,189
In the back booth
at the seafood hut.
312
00:14:44,256 --> 00:14:46,391
We all did crazy
things on 9/11.
313
00:14:46,459 --> 00:14:47,959
Ah, here come the witches.
314
00:14:48,027 --> 00:14:50,361
Do you have a statement
for us mortals?
315
00:14:50,429 --> 00:14:53,898
Goddess lilith, who knows
our hearts are pure...
316
00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:58,169
All:
Oh, queen of magic, show our
persecutors that they are blind.
317
00:14:58,237 --> 00:15:00,171
They are blind!
318
00:15:02,241 --> 00:15:04,542
I'm blind! I'm blind!
319
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:06,444
What goes around,
comes around.
320
00:15:11,050 --> 00:15:13,485
Dear, god, I've gone blind.
321
00:15:13,552 --> 00:15:15,720
Nurse, you'll have
to be my eyes.
322
00:15:15,788 --> 00:15:17,722
I'm blind, too!
323
00:15:17,790 --> 00:15:20,358
Then I guess it's up to me.
324
00:15:24,396 --> 00:15:25,964
(gavel pounding)
325
00:15:26,031 --> 00:15:28,933
Gwendolyn nightshadow,
326
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:31,603
Did you use
your supernatural powers
327
00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:33,838
To blind half this town?
328
00:15:33,906 --> 00:15:35,340
We're just kids.
329
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:37,709
My real name isn't even
gwendolyn nightshadow.
330
00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:40,245
It's stacey, stacey deathsatan.
331
00:15:40,312 --> 00:15:41,613
(gallery gasps)
332
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,281
(thunder rumbles)
333
00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:44,816
So...
334
00:15:44,884 --> 00:15:47,018
The defendants recruited you,
335
00:15:47,086 --> 00:15:50,155
A young innocent,
into their evil coven.
336
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:51,723
They're not evil!
337
00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:53,725
They believe in friendship
and respecting the earth.
338
00:15:53,792 --> 00:15:55,560
And they made me feel
like I belonged.
339
00:15:55,628 --> 00:15:58,363
Your honor, I'd like to enter
something into the record.
340
00:15:58,430 --> 00:15:59,531
Strangely, I'll allow it.
341
00:15:59,598 --> 00:16:00,999
Ladies and gentlemen,
342
00:16:01,066 --> 00:16:02,867
I am a big dummy
with a stupid job.
343
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:04,302
I write down what
other people say,
344
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,137
Just like a big dummy would.
345
00:16:06,205 --> 00:16:08,339
Could the court reporter
read that back?
346
00:16:08,407 --> 00:16:11,142
"I am a big dummy
with a stupid job"?!
347
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:13,244
Hey!
(chuckling)
348
00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:16,881
In all my years
of being a judge,
349
00:16:16,949 --> 00:16:18,816
I've never seen
such a flimsy case.
350
00:16:18,884 --> 00:16:20,218
Are you sure?
351
00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:22,086
'cause we've brought you
a lot of flimsy cases.
352
00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:24,923
Like that goat we accused
of income tax evasion.
353
00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:26,391
I still think he was guilty.
354
00:16:26,458 --> 00:16:27,292
¶ ¶
355
00:16:27,359 --> 00:16:29,060
(goat bleating)
356
00:16:29,128 --> 00:16:30,695
Well, I'm not wasting
another minute on this.
357
00:16:30,763 --> 00:16:31,996
Case dismissed!
358
00:16:32,064 --> 00:16:34,199
(relieved sighs)
359
00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:35,800
There's no justice here.
360
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:37,635
They made me blind!
361
00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:39,704
And now I can really
hear how I bomb!
362
00:16:39,772 --> 00:16:42,340
Well, I say we take them out
and have our own trial!
363
00:16:42,408 --> 00:16:44,075
(gallery clamoring)
364
00:16:44,143 --> 00:16:45,210
(gunshots boom)
365
00:16:45,277 --> 00:16:47,478
Oh, uh, don't mind me.
366
00:16:47,546 --> 00:16:49,581
I'm just trying to get
a fly on the ceiling.
367
00:16:51,951 --> 00:16:53,952
Ah, I got you now.
368
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,193
All (chanting):
Burn the witch! Burn the witch!
369
00:16:59,261 --> 00:17:00,594
Burn the witch!
370
00:17:00,662 --> 00:17:02,062
Not so fast!
371
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:05,332
As citizens, we are still
bound by the rule of law.
372
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,400
All:
Boo!
373
00:17:06,468 --> 00:17:08,235
17th-century law!
374
00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:09,503
(cheering)
375
00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:12,873
I have reconstructed
the ultimate instrument
376
00:17:12,941 --> 00:17:16,010
Of colonial justice:
The dunking stool.
377
00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,312
If the alleged witches
survive the dunking,
378
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,414
They clearly were witches!
379
00:17:20,482 --> 00:17:24,018
If they drown, then they
were clearly innocent.
380
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,719
After this,
it will be featured
381
00:17:25,787 --> 00:17:27,822
In the fifth-grade play,
the crucible.
382
00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:29,323
Good seats still available.
383
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:32,660
By which I mean, seats in the
back where you can fall asleep.
384
00:17:32,727 --> 00:17:35,729
(creaking)
385
00:17:35,797 --> 00:17:36,997
(gasping)
386
00:17:39,734 --> 00:17:41,702
Don't dip those wiccans!
387
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,703
(mob gasping)
388
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,238
They didn't blind anyone.
389
00:17:44,306 --> 00:17:45,573
I have proof!
390
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,640
(mob murmuring)
391
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:48,475
When my father was attending
392
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:50,277
The moonshine competition
last Saturday...
393
00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:52,680
You said you were
at a parenting class!
394
00:17:52,747 --> 00:17:54,181
Marge, please.
395
00:17:54,249 --> 00:17:56,116
You're embarrassing me
in front of the mob.
396
00:17:56,184 --> 00:17:57,685
...You heard sirens, which
you thought were police
397
00:17:57,752 --> 00:17:59,620
Coming to arrest you.
398
00:17:59,688 --> 00:18:01,288
To ditch their stills,
399
00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:03,958
The moonshiners
pushed them down a hill.
400
00:18:04,025 --> 00:18:05,960
The moonshine
landed in a river,
401
00:18:06,027 --> 00:18:09,230
Temporarily blinding anyone
or anything that drank it.
402
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,365
(thudding)
403
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:13,968
(tapping)
404
00:18:17,272 --> 00:18:19,673
That river led to the reservoir
405
00:18:19,741 --> 00:18:22,109
Which made anyone who drank
the town's tap water
406
00:18:22,177 --> 00:18:25,012
Also go temporarily blind.
407
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,615
Moonshine in the water?
408
00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:29,183
I'll be the judge of that.
409
00:18:31,353 --> 00:18:32,987
(slurping)
410
00:18:33,054 --> 00:18:34,054
Hmm...
411
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:37,992
(gasps) hillbilly moonshine!
412
00:18:38,059 --> 00:18:39,727
The little witch is right!
413
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:42,429
(mob groaning, murmuring)
414
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,502
Wait, wait, wait, don't unform!
You're a great mob!
415
00:18:48,570 --> 00:18:50,571
We'll think of something else
to get upset about!
416
00:18:50,639 --> 00:18:53,374
How about all that construction
on route one, huh?
417
00:18:53,441 --> 00:18:54,842
Huh?
(mob groaning)
418
00:18:54,910 --> 00:18:57,578
Oh, you ain't no mob.
419
00:18:57,646 --> 00:18:59,513
You're just a bunch of
spineless weasels.
420
00:19:00,949 --> 00:19:02,483
Hey, hey, hey, it's
just a figure of speech.
421
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:04,051
Kill the weasel hater!
422
00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:05,519
(all cheering)
423
00:19:05,587 --> 00:19:08,289
Now this is what
I'm talking about!
424
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,191
Sister lisa, thank you
for saving us.
425
00:19:11,259 --> 00:19:12,660
You were awesome.
426
00:19:12,727 --> 00:19:14,261
No, thank you.
427
00:19:14,329 --> 00:19:16,797
I've been rational
but nerdy my whole life.
428
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:20,234
But these past few weeks,
you girls made me feel cool.
429
00:19:20,302 --> 00:19:24,605
Cool! Me, lisa simpson!
430
00:19:24,673 --> 00:19:27,608
Well, I think you're
very interesting girls,
431
00:19:27,676 --> 00:19:29,376
But from now on,
432
00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:31,679
The only "witch"
in lisa's life
433
00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:33,747
Is which boy
will marry her.
434
00:19:33,815 --> 00:19:35,749
Right, homer? Homer?
435
00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,151
Start the ride!
436
00:19:41,756 --> 00:19:43,691
(giggling):
Again!
437
00:19:43,758 --> 00:19:45,192
(spluttering)
438
00:19:47,696 --> 00:19:49,296
Huh?
Hmm.
Hmm.
439
00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:55,202
(men laughing)
440
00:19:55,270 --> 00:20:04,106
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com