1
00:00:05,632 --> 00:00:08,333
♪ Tea for the tillerman ♪
2
00:00:08,368 --> 00:00:10,635
♪ Steak for the son ♪
3
00:00:10,670 --> 00:00:15,039
♪ Wine for the woman
who made the rain come ♪
4
00:00:15,075 --> 00:00:18,676
♪ Seagulls sing
your hearts away ♪
5
00:00:18,712 --> 00:00:20,778
♪ 'Cause while the sinners sin ♪
6
00:00:20,814 --> 00:00:24,215
♪ The children play ♪
7
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:27,285
♪ Oh, Lord,
how they play and play ♪
8
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,520
♪ For that happy day ♪
9
00:00:29,556 --> 00:00:34,806
♪ For that happy day ♪
♪ Happy day. ♪
10
00:00:34,807 --> 00:00:38,807
♪ The Simpsons 26x03 ♪
Super Franchise Me
Original Air Date on October 12, 2014
11
00:00:38,832 --> 00:00:40,198
D'oh!
12
00:00:40,222 --> 00:00:46,722
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
13
00:00:54,914 --> 00:00:56,881
You're never bored
paintin' the Lord.
14
00:00:56,916 --> 00:01:00,017
Daddy, could you help us
with our school project?
15
00:01:00,053 --> 00:01:02,220
We're huntin'
vampire appliances!
16
00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:03,855
Say no more.
17
00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:05,089
Mm-hmm.
18
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:06,491
Okay.
19
00:01:09,596 --> 00:01:11,262
Diddily, diddily...
20
00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,233
Well, we pulled more plugs
than a Dutch doctor.
21
00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:17,502
Now let's take a trip
to the side of the house.
22
00:01:17,537 --> 00:01:18,736
Yay!
23
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,372
Why, that's a higher power
24
00:01:21,408 --> 00:01:22,540
than even I believe in.
25
00:01:22,575 --> 00:01:24,008
What is going on?
26
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:26,177
My room, kids' room,
27
00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:29,380
knick-knack nook, Beatles
Bunker, Left-hand Lounge...
28
00:01:29,416 --> 00:01:30,915
What's this?
29
00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:40,558
Huh?
30
00:01:40,593 --> 00:01:42,427
Hey, I was listening to that.
31
00:01:42,462 --> 00:01:44,295
Homer Simpson.
32
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:46,564
Got any other sockets
in my pockets?
33
00:01:46,599 --> 00:01:48,966
Absolutely not.
34
00:01:49,002 --> 00:01:50,234
Really? Really?
35
00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:51,602
Really?!
36
00:01:51,638 --> 00:01:54,605
My one weakness--
the third "really."
37
00:01:54,641 --> 00:01:56,741
Come with me.
38
00:01:58,411 --> 00:02:00,611
Turn right here.
39
00:02:00,647 --> 00:02:03,581
I keep this frozen meat
in case society collapses
40
00:02:03,616 --> 00:02:04,982
but we still have power.
41
00:02:05,018 --> 00:02:06,984
Homer! This is my freezerino.
42
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:12,390
Seriously, I am getting so tired
of those stupid Flandersisms.
43
00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:14,392
It's the name
of the freezer!
44
00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,494
Okily Dokahama?
45
00:02:16,529 --> 00:02:19,163
Right next to Mount Fu-Gee,
I'm glad to see ya!
46
00:02:22,635 --> 00:02:24,268
Aw. It's all gonna thaw!
47
00:02:24,304 --> 00:02:26,737
Don't you give up on me!
48
00:02:26,773 --> 00:02:30,308
I'll cook this meat, cut it up
and make it into sandwiches.
49
00:02:30,343 --> 00:02:33,444
And I will wait and worry!
50
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:07,278
So, I cooked the meat,
sliced it up, made sandwiches,
51
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:10,214
cut off the crust,
fed those to the dog...
52
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:13,217
Aw, somebody wants more crust.
53
00:03:13,253 --> 00:03:14,385
Here you go, boy!
54
00:03:19,058 --> 00:03:21,425
Here you go.
Have some more.
55
00:03:23,696 --> 00:03:25,029
Still hungry, buddy?
56
00:03:25,064 --> 00:03:27,465
Dad, dogs don't know
when to stop eating.
57
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,566
Lucky.
58
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,469
Ta-DA!
59
00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:32,504
Whoa!
60
00:03:34,274 --> 00:03:38,075
Oh, Marge, once again you've
taken one of my screwups
61
00:03:38,111 --> 00:03:39,911
and turned it into food.
62
00:03:39,946 --> 00:03:42,413
Man, if only you could
do that with Bart.
63
00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:47,051
Mom! Dad's imagining me
as food again!
64
00:03:47,086 --> 00:03:48,819
He does it
to all of us.
65
00:03:48,855 --> 00:03:50,655
Can someone put
butter on me?
66
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:52,089
Family-icious.
67
00:03:53,793 --> 00:03:56,928
Come on, where's
that butter?
68
00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,065
Hey, Mom,
can you pack me
69
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,367
a dozen sandwiches
in my lunch tomorrow?
70
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:05,369
Meat, no meat,
it's all good.
71
00:04:05,405 --> 00:04:06,405
Sandwiches, Mom.
72
00:04:06,439 --> 00:04:07,439
Fill 'er up.
73
00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:08,506
And the garment bag.
74
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,907
What's going on?
75
00:04:09,943 --> 00:04:11,876
Are you kids
eating your feelings?
76
00:04:11,911 --> 00:04:13,811
No, whenever anything
bothers me,
77
00:04:13,846 --> 00:04:15,980
I harmlessly vent it to Maggie.
78
00:04:18,484 --> 00:04:22,053
I smash fluorescent lights
at the gravel pit.
79
00:04:22,088 --> 00:04:23,955
But that's
so many sandwiches.
80
00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:24,990
Kids love them.
81
00:04:24,991 --> 00:04:26,290
We trade them
at school.
82
00:04:26,326 --> 00:04:27,959
They replaced cigarettes
as our currency.
83
00:04:27,994 --> 00:04:29,427
Bubble gum cigarettes?
84
00:04:29,462 --> 00:04:30,895
Yeah, sure.
85
00:04:33,466 --> 00:04:36,400
What are you doing here,
freezer stealer?
86
00:04:36,436 --> 00:04:39,937
Ned's letting us use his freezer
to store the extra sandwiches.
87
00:04:39,973 --> 00:04:42,974
Well, I felt a little guilty for
taking back what belonged to me.
88
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,543
Flanders isn't perfect!
89
00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,078
Never claimed to be.
90
00:04:47,113 --> 00:04:48,613
Yeah, and aren't.
91
00:04:52,452 --> 00:04:53,918
Marge, see this face?
92
00:04:53,953 --> 00:04:55,052
It's opportunity.
93
00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:56,487
Blink, and you'll miss it.
94
00:04:57,523 --> 00:04:58,656
Huh?
95
00:04:58,691 --> 00:05:00,124
Just kidding.
I'm right behind you.
96
00:05:00,159 --> 00:05:01,492
I'm Trudy Zengler,
97
00:05:01,527 --> 00:05:03,394
vice president
of development
98
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,630
for Mother Hubbard's
Sandwich Cupboards.
99
00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:09,300
How would you like to
run your own business?
100
00:05:09,335 --> 00:05:11,702
Take control of your
financial future.
101
00:05:11,738 --> 00:05:12,970
Hmm.
102
00:05:14,607 --> 00:05:17,642
Homie, how much money
do we have put aside
103
00:05:17,677 --> 00:05:20,277
in case something
happens to you?
104
00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:24,015
None.
105
00:05:26,052 --> 00:05:29,420
If that flashback you
just described is true,
106
00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,522
you can't afford not
to open this franchise.
107
00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:32,857
I'm in.
108
00:05:35,338 --> 00:05:36,938
Wow, Mom!
109
00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:38,406
You're gonna open
a sandwich store?
110
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:39,574
Uh-huh.
111
00:05:39,609 --> 00:05:41,209
Mom, if you're
gonna do this,
112
00:05:41,244 --> 00:05:43,411
there's one thing
I need to know.
113
00:05:43,447 --> 00:05:44,579
And be honest.
114
00:05:44,614 --> 00:05:46,414
What's your soda refill policy?
115
00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:49,484
All you can drink,
if you buy a jumbo cup.
116
00:05:49,519 --> 00:05:52,420
Careful, Marge, that's
how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.
117
00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:57,959
Mmm... that's good.
118
00:05:57,994 --> 00:06:00,428
More, more.
119
00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:02,230
Refill...
120
00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:03,431
Free!
121
00:06:03,467 --> 00:06:04,499
I-I just... I...
122
00:06:04,534 --> 00:06:05,867
Where is it going?
123
00:06:12,709 --> 00:06:14,909
My store.
124
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:17,111
My offset spatula.
125
00:06:17,147 --> 00:06:18,413
Mine!
126
00:06:21,651 --> 00:06:23,451
Well, well, well.
127
00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:25,119
Seems like someone forgot
128
00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:28,456
there's a Krusty Burger
two blocks away.
129
00:06:28,492 --> 00:06:29,757
Go ahead, Teeny.
130
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:31,960
Show 'em what we did to Arby's.
131
00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:45,673
She did the one thing
I never could-- feed him.
132
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,709
You're a cool
customer, Marge.
133
00:06:47,744 --> 00:06:49,043
And we've got
your back.
134
00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:51,279
With everything from
pre-sliced tomatoes,
135
00:06:51,314 --> 00:06:53,348
to the homey needlepoint
on the walls.
136
00:06:53,383 --> 00:06:55,149
Aw...
137
00:06:55,185 --> 00:06:58,453
And now, the best part of
running your own franchise--
138
00:06:58,488 --> 00:07:00,388
picking your Sammy Fammy.
139
00:07:00,423 --> 00:07:01,990
You'll want to avoid that.
140
00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:09,831
Your monkey just
ate all my turkey.
141
00:07:09,866 --> 00:07:11,733
You want some monkey meat
to replace it?
142
00:07:11,768 --> 00:07:12,834
No.
143
00:07:12,869 --> 00:07:13,902
It's low-fat.
144
00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:15,904
As you can see, I was just two
145
00:07:15,939 --> 00:07:17,171
credits short
at Southern Illinois, and...
146
00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:19,073
I got to be honest
with you, Marge.
147
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:21,743
I need this job bad.
148
00:07:21,778 --> 00:07:25,413
Hmm... You seem to have had,
and lost, a lot of jobs.
149
00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:27,248
It's a whole
new world, Marge.
150
00:07:27,284 --> 00:07:28,850
A whole new world.
151
00:07:28,885 --> 00:07:31,219
Why, my dad spent his
whole life at one company.
152
00:07:31,254 --> 00:07:33,021
Started in the
basement mailroom,
153
00:07:33,056 --> 00:07:36,190
and ended his career jumping out
the window from the top floor.
154
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,360
Yeah, he was
wearing this suit.
155
00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:40,396
Corpse suit.
156
00:07:44,434 --> 00:07:46,034
I'm not sure...
157
00:07:46,069 --> 00:07:47,902
this is going to work out.
158
00:07:47,938 --> 00:07:49,270
Oh, I get it.
159
00:07:49,306 --> 00:07:50,939
You won't hire me
because I'm pretty.
160
00:07:50,974 --> 00:07:52,273
That could be
a lawsuit.
161
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:54,342
No lawsuit! You're hired!
162
00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:56,044
Okay, so I don't
want to do anything
163
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:57,579
that'll ruin
my manicure.
164
00:07:57,614 --> 00:07:59,247
Well, then why do you
want this job?
165
00:07:59,282 --> 00:08:01,115
So I can get manicures.
166
00:08:01,151 --> 00:08:02,183
Duh!
167
00:08:02,218 --> 00:08:03,785
Professor,
could you say,
168
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:06,354
"Welcome to Mother Hubbard's
Sandwich Cupboard"
169
00:08:06,389 --> 00:08:08,089
without making
any other noises?
170
00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:10,091
Of course I can, my dear child.
171
00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:11,359
Welcome to...
172
00:08:11,394 --> 00:08:12,760
Mother Hubbard's...
173
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,762
uh... Sandwich
174
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:18,766
mcboing boing glavin
flyvy hyvy goyvyn,
175
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:21,235
and now I'm running
to the unemployment office.
176
00:08:21,271 --> 00:08:22,804
Blervyk.
177
00:08:25,475 --> 00:08:27,375
I'm too nervous to sleep.
178
00:08:34,317 --> 00:08:35,817
I'm sorry I
woke you up.
179
00:08:35,852 --> 00:08:38,553
I'm just so anxious
about tomorrow.
180
00:08:38,588 --> 00:08:40,054
What if the
store fails?
181
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:41,422
What if I fail?
182
00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:44,726
Well, you woke up
the right man in bed.
183
00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:46,227
I love you, Marjorie.
184
00:08:46,262 --> 00:08:48,730
And I've had my share
of failures, sure.
185
00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:51,232
And sometimes
I get pretty nervous.
186
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:53,601
But thanks for
talking it out with me.
187
00:08:53,637 --> 00:08:56,404
I think I can finally
get to sleep now.
188
00:08:56,439 --> 00:08:57,772
No! No, no, no!
189
00:08:57,807 --> 00:08:59,474
It was me that
couldn't get to...
190
00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:05,913
Oh, make love now?
191
00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:10,585
Say there, buddy,
192
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:13,021
are you interested
in our Two-For-One Tuesday?
193
00:09:13,056 --> 00:09:15,123
I never would have been,
till I got this flyer!
194
00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:17,592
Interested in some
exotic dancers, huh?
195
00:09:17,627 --> 00:09:20,428
Today's "Tell You
Their Real Name" Tuesday.
196
00:09:20,463 --> 00:09:22,597
Are you working
two jobs here, Gil?
197
00:09:22,632 --> 00:09:25,700
No, and I resent
the accusation.
198
00:09:25,735 --> 00:09:28,336
Tell me, it's
pointing west, right?
199
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:29,971
Hola.
200
00:09:30,006 --> 00:09:31,706
No change
for the meter.
201
00:09:31,741 --> 00:09:35,109
No, no, I'd like
to see the manager.
202
00:09:35,145 --> 00:09:36,611
Mrs. Boss!
203
00:09:36,646 --> 00:09:38,646
Some fat blob wants
to see you.
204
00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:39,682
Homer!
205
00:09:39,683 --> 00:09:40,683
Marge.
206
00:09:40,684 --> 00:09:41,883
Come on, let's celebrate!
207
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:43,051
It's your first day!
208
00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:44,819
Homie, I'm
a little worried.
209
00:09:44,854 --> 00:09:49,323
Do you know there were no
customers between 2:00 and 4:00?
210
00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:52,560
Hey, Tony Roma's wasn't
built in a day.
211
00:09:52,595 --> 00:09:55,329
But don't worry, I told everyone
about this place,
212
00:09:55,365 --> 00:09:57,231
and they're all going
to support you.
213
00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:58,833
You do have drone delivery,
right?
214
00:09:58,868 --> 00:09:59,967
I kind of promised that.
215
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:01,869
We don't have drone delivery!
216
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,705
You'll have
to find a substitute.
217
00:10:06,109 --> 00:10:07,408
Damn it!
218
00:10:18,755 --> 00:10:20,021
What's wrong?
219
00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:22,356
Mother Hubbard Central
expects you to buy
220
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:24,258
a lot of stuff
from them.
221
00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:26,194
Uniforms, fixin's.
222
00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:28,062
It's like they don't care
if you make money
223
00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:29,731
as long as
they make money.
224
00:10:29,766 --> 00:10:32,300
What kind of corporation
does that?
225
00:10:33,970 --> 00:10:36,204
I'm not trying
to be political,
226
00:10:36,239 --> 00:10:39,407
but I'm the only one
you can trust here.
227
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:46,180
Shauna! I saw that!
228
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:47,949
I'm going to have
to let you go.
229
00:10:47,984 --> 00:10:49,717
Oh, so you're,
like, firing me
230
00:10:49,753 --> 00:10:52,019
like in that movie
where that girl gets fired?
231
00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:53,354
I'm sorry.
232
00:10:53,389 --> 00:10:54,389
If I'm fired,
233
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:55,424
then he's quitting!
234
00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,391
I am?!
235
00:10:57,427 --> 00:11:00,762
Oh, that's what
holds them up.
236
00:11:00,797 --> 00:11:03,197
What am I going to do?
237
00:11:03,233 --> 00:11:05,533
I'm down two employees
and it's the afternoon rush.
238
00:11:07,837 --> 00:11:09,470
I need a six-foot party sub.
239
00:11:09,506 --> 00:11:11,939
Lots of mayonnaise.
And I mean lots.
240
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:13,875
Never stop squirting mayo.
241
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:15,443
Don't worry, baby.
242
00:11:22,452 --> 00:11:24,652
Thank you, Homie.
243
00:11:24,687 --> 00:11:27,655
Why does this have
to be so hard?!
244
00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:30,224
Oh, uh, sorry
there, Marge.
245
00:11:30,260 --> 00:11:32,226
This is my changing room.
246
00:11:32,262 --> 00:11:34,495
You are working two jobs!
247
00:11:34,531 --> 00:11:36,430
No, these are my real legs.
248
00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:39,267
I'm... I'm not a
well man, Marge.
249
00:11:41,871 --> 00:11:43,504
This is so sad.
250
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:46,641
In his homeland,
Dad was a nuclear engineer.
251
00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:50,011
Oh, I was short-staffed
and your father volunteered.
252
00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:53,614
Actually, I was wondering if you
two might want to lend a hand.
253
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,016
No, no.
254
00:11:55,051 --> 00:11:57,185
You want to make
American kids work?
255
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:58,586
You're supposed
to be driving me
256
00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:00,421
to a tennis class
I said I wanted,
257
00:12:00,456 --> 00:12:03,024
then I changed my mind
and I hate it so much
258
00:12:03,059 --> 00:12:04,792
I'm faking stomachaches
to get out of it.
259
00:12:04,828 --> 00:12:07,261
Would it kill one of you
to wash a bell pepper?
260
00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,764
Um, I'm not sure this is
the best use of my skills.
261
00:12:09,799 --> 00:12:10,998
I said wash!
262
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,301
And, Bart, go work
the deep fryer.
263
00:12:13,336 --> 00:12:15,469
Well, if I'll be doing this
when I'm 40,
264
00:12:15,505 --> 00:12:17,505
might as well start now.
265
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,313
I'm home.
266
00:12:25,348 --> 00:12:27,682
Guys, this is gonna be
hard for a while.
267
00:12:27,717 --> 00:12:30,184
But we'll get through this
as a family.
268
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:31,953
Yes, we will.
269
00:12:31,988 --> 00:12:34,889
The Simpsons
and old Uncle Gil.
270
00:12:34,924 --> 00:12:36,891
Uh, Gil?
271
00:12:36,926 --> 00:12:39,193
I've been meaning to
tell you you're fired.
272
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:41,896
Yeah, well,
guess I had it coming.
273
00:12:41,931 --> 00:12:43,965
Can I take
some bologna heels?
274
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,066
As many as you like.
275
00:12:45,101 --> 00:12:46,167
You sure?
276
00:12:46,202 --> 00:12:47,702
Take them!
277
00:12:47,737 --> 00:12:50,805
Aw, yeah!
It's a big ol' fat one!
278
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,041
♪ The best things
in life are free ♪
279
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:57,445
♪ But you can give them
to the birds and bees ♪
280
00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,748
♪ I need money ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
281
00:13:00,783 --> 00:13:03,784
♪ That's what I want ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
282
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:08,089
♪ That's what I want ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
283
00:13:08,124 --> 00:13:11,259
♪ That's what I want ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
284
00:13:13,263 --> 00:13:16,330
♪ Your love give me
such a thrill ♪
285
00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:18,799
♪ But your love
don't pay my bills ♪
286
00:13:18,835 --> 00:13:22,737
♪ I need money ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
287
00:13:22,772 --> 00:13:26,073
♪ That's what I want ♪
♪ That's what I want ♪
288
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,042
♪ That's what I want... ♪
289
00:13:36,552 --> 00:13:37,952
Good baby.
290
00:13:37,987 --> 00:13:39,854
Oh, yeah.
Real good baby.
291
00:13:39,889 --> 00:13:41,255
Good everybody.
292
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:42,690
You won't believe it,
293
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:45,493
but we actually turned
a profit today.
294
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,864
Kids, we're taking
some shredded lettuce,
295
00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:52,833
pre-sliced cheese and cold cuts,
296
00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:57,605
and turning them
into the American dream.
297
00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,441
Uh, guys,
what the hell is that?
298
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:07,081
They're opening
another Mother Hubbard?
299
00:14:07,116 --> 00:14:09,984
Across the street?!
How could they?
300
00:14:10,019 --> 00:14:11,385
How could they?!
301
00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:13,888
Move, move, move!
302
00:14:17,593 --> 00:14:19,060
Eh, Chief, uh,
who are you fooling
303
00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:21,095
with this one sandwich
a day diet?
304
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:23,030
It's on whole wheat, Lou.
305
00:14:23,066 --> 00:14:25,599
Cleans up your insides.
306
00:14:25,635 --> 00:14:26,968
I'm gonna sit
next to it.
307
00:14:28,058 --> 00:14:31,840
How could they open another
franchise so close to me?
308
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,041
Don't worry, Marge.
They can't beat us.
309
00:14:34,076 --> 00:14:35,842
Because we're family-run.
310
00:14:35,878 --> 00:14:38,278
Aah! Hillbillies!
311
00:14:40,049 --> 00:14:43,517
Okay, in you go,
Minimum Wade, Addem-up,
312
00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:47,221
Oxycontin, Fontanelle
and Pediculus.
313
00:14:47,256 --> 00:14:49,690
You make way for those
that's nocturnal
314
00:14:49,725 --> 00:14:51,658
coming off the night shift.
315
00:14:53,262 --> 00:14:54,928
Huh?
316
00:15:00,069 --> 00:15:02,436
Mom, I need a few hours off.
317
00:15:02,471 --> 00:15:05,239
It's Milhouse's birthday party
and I'm all the guests.
318
00:15:05,274 --> 00:15:06,740
I understand, honey.
319
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,042
Did you get someone to cover?
Mm. Grampa.
320
00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:11,044
I'm working the drive-through!
321
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,946
There is no drive-through!
322
00:15:14,116 --> 00:15:17,251
No, thank coo!
323
00:15:21,824 --> 00:15:24,524
Ah, finally-- a customer!
324
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,093
Aah!
325
00:15:26,128 --> 00:15:27,561
Simpson,
why aren't you at work?
326
00:15:27,596 --> 00:15:29,630
Whoa, hold
that famous temper, Smithers.
327
00:15:29,665 --> 00:15:31,765
Who is this?
328
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,903
Simpson, introduce me
to this almond-eyed beauty,
329
00:15:36,939 --> 00:15:38,939
and all is forgiven.
330
00:15:38,974 --> 00:15:41,074
Uh, Mr. Burns, I'd
like you to meet...
331
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,143
Mother Hubbard standee.
332
00:15:43,178 --> 00:15:45,078
From the Wisconsin Standees!
333
00:15:45,114 --> 00:15:47,914
Milk-fed, yet so slim.
334
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:51,752
Permit me to play you a tune
on my mouth organ.
335
00:15:51,787 --> 00:15:53,287
Sir, maybe we should go.
336
00:15:53,322 --> 00:15:54,721
Sorry you died!
337
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:57,157
Put the body with the others.
338
00:16:00,029 --> 00:16:01,595
Whew.
339
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,630
Homer, if I ever
seem that senile,
340
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:05,232
get a gun and...
341
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,434
What are you doing
with that gun?!
342
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:09,569
Marge, have you ever
343
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:10,605
seen pants do this?
344
00:16:12,141 --> 00:16:15,108
You're working so hard
you've lost weight!
345
00:16:15,144 --> 00:16:16,677
We're killing ourselves
trying to run
346
00:16:16,712 --> 00:16:18,945
a restaurant no one goes to.
347
00:16:18,981 --> 00:16:20,614
I've never said
this to you before,
348
00:16:20,649 --> 00:16:22,115
but I'm saying it now.
349
00:16:22,151 --> 00:16:24,284
I'm going to Moe's.
350
00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:30,257
Now I know why you
come here so much.
351
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:32,859
No matter how sad
you are inside,
352
00:16:32,895 --> 00:16:34,995
what you see looks worse.
353
00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,264
Yeah. It was really hard
for me to make this place
354
00:16:37,299 --> 00:16:39,633
look old but not
in any way comfortable.
355
00:16:39,668 --> 00:16:42,169
Now maybe some
TV will cheer you up.
356
00:16:42,204 --> 00:16:45,172
If you's in the mood
for a sammich, come on down
357
00:16:45,207 --> 00:16:47,974
to Mother Hubbard's
Sandwich Cupboard Express,
358
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:50,610
for all the sandwiches you love!
359
00:16:50,646 --> 00:16:51,778
Bread sammich.
360
00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:52,946
Yesterday's what's-it
361
00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,281
with ketchup.
362
00:16:54,316 --> 00:16:56,483
And the thing
what ate our chickens.
363
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:59,052
Looks like a fox, but it ain't.
364
00:16:59,088 --> 00:17:03,056
Be sure to follow us
on Kinterest and Critter!
365
00:17:04,593 --> 00:17:07,127
Aw! "Yesterday's what's-it"?
366
00:17:07,162 --> 00:17:09,129
Why does everyone go to them?
367
00:17:09,164 --> 00:17:10,964
It's express, Marge.
368
00:17:10,999 --> 00:17:13,867
Yeah, with our busy lifestyle,
we got to have express.
369
00:17:17,606 --> 00:17:19,706
Aw. Listen there, Midge.
370
00:17:19,742 --> 00:17:22,476
I know how to get yous
out of your contract.
371
00:17:22,511 --> 00:17:24,010
But I got to warn you...
372
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:26,713
you will never work in the
fast-food industry again.
373
00:17:26,749 --> 00:17:28,949
Go on. Please.
374
00:17:30,419 --> 00:17:32,319
So, you see, Ms. Zengler,
375
00:17:32,354 --> 00:17:34,521
the Mother Hubbard's Express
across the street
376
00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:36,823
is stealing all our business.
377
00:17:36,859 --> 00:17:38,392
It's not fair.
378
00:17:38,427 --> 00:17:40,994
If you want fairness,
work at a Sunglass Hut.
379
00:17:41,029 --> 00:17:43,063
This is the sandwich game.
380
00:17:43,098 --> 00:17:44,698
I don't understand you.
381
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:46,233
I grew up in the
pageant system.
382
00:17:46,268 --> 00:17:49,469
Oh. Now I completely
understand you.
383
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:51,538
I'm a litigious
businessman,
384
00:17:51,573 --> 00:17:53,874
and I need a
coffee to go.
385
00:17:53,909 --> 00:17:56,042
One jumbo Joe to go!
386
00:17:59,982 --> 00:18:01,948
Get the first-aid kit!
387
00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:03,850
One Florence Nightingale
in a box!
388
00:18:03,886 --> 00:18:05,352
And make it snappy!
389
00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:07,387
Ow!
390
00:18:07,423 --> 00:18:09,356
I got this.
391
00:18:09,391 --> 00:18:10,857
Ow!
392
00:18:10,893 --> 00:18:13,860
Oh, why do these things happen
to innocent victims?
393
00:18:13,896 --> 00:18:15,862
I was just
about to become
394
00:18:15,898 --> 00:18:18,432
a million-dollar
crotch model!
395
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:21,101
Hey, hey, hey!
It's not corporate's fault!
396
00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:22,136
Really?
397
00:18:22,171 --> 00:18:23,804
But the franchise
agreement says
398
00:18:23,839 --> 00:18:25,705
Mother Hubbard Inc. would
provide adequate training
399
00:18:25,741 --> 00:18:27,974
for all employees,
which they didn't.
400
00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:30,977
Clause 27C-3.
401
00:18:31,013 --> 00:18:32,813
You actually read this thing?
402
00:18:32,848 --> 00:18:34,614
It was written
by two lawyers who had
403
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,383
to keep waking the other one up.
404
00:18:36,418 --> 00:18:39,820
If you'll just give me back
my original investment,
405
00:18:39,855 --> 00:18:43,056
I'll take full responsibility
for this man's injuries.
406
00:18:43,091 --> 00:18:46,993
Please... tell me
I'm still beautiful!
407
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:49,362
All right, Marge.
You've got a deal.
408
00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:56,336
Well, family, we
should be proud.
409
00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:59,606
We took on corporate
America and broke even.
410
00:18:59,641 --> 00:19:01,141
Hear, hear!
411
00:19:01,176 --> 00:19:02,742
Sir?
412
00:19:02,778 --> 00:19:04,811
I-I think we've
gone far enough
413
00:19:04,847 --> 00:19:06,179
to dispose of the body.
414
00:19:06,215 --> 00:19:07,681
Dispose? Ooh.
415
00:19:07,716 --> 00:19:10,250
I've come here to pitch woo.
416
00:20:02,262 --> 00:20:04,262
D'oh!
417
00:20:05,365 --> 00:20:08,945
Mmm. Sandwich.
418
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:15,446
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
419
00:20:55,703 --> 00:20:56,703
Shh!