1
00:00:06,285 --> 00:00:08,344
The Simpsons S19E11
- That '90s Show -
2
00:00:36,038 --> 00:00:37,842
Dad, I'm freezing.
3
00:00:37,843 --> 00:00:39,149
Don't worry, kids.
4
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:42,934
These wool socks and down
parkas will keep you warm.
5
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,407
We wouldn't be in
this trouble if you'd just
6
00:00:48,408 --> 00:00:49,737
paid the heating bill!
7
00:00:49,738 --> 00:00:52,198
I thought global warming
would take care of it.
8
00:00:52,199 --> 00:00:54,342
Al Gore can't do anything right.
9
00:00:54,368 --> 00:00:56,082
I got some old magazines to burn.
10
00:00:56,366 --> 00:00:57,720
Popular Science.
11
00:00:58,934 --> 00:00:59,889
Redbook.
12
00:01:00,829 --> 00:01:03,164
Big & Tall Halloween
Costume catalogue.
13
00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:05,251
Next item.
14
00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:06,252
No!!!!!
15
00:01:11,957 --> 00:01:14,660
Mom, I didn't know you
went to college!
16
00:01:14,678 --> 00:01:16,441
Yeah, you always said that
after high school,
17
00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:19,670
Dad "blessed" you with
the unplanned miracle of me.
18
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,313
Hey, parents are allowed
to keep some secrets.
19
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,210
Like which kid's their favorite!
20
00:01:25,327 --> 00:01:26,280
It's Lisa.
21
00:01:27,736 --> 00:01:32,543
You know, Mom and Dad
are almost 40, and Bart is ten.
22
00:01:33,455 --> 00:01:36,373
That means you didn't have him
until way after high school.
23
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:39,050
Yeah, what happened while
I was chillin' in Dad's junk?
24
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,062
There is a part of our past that
25
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,221
we haven't told you kids about.
26
00:01:43,246 --> 00:01:45,040
A turbulent part.
27
00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:47,412
Come on.
More turbulent than now?
28
00:01:47,427 --> 00:01:49,483
We're in every kind of therapy.
29
00:01:49,486 --> 00:01:52,340
Things happened between your mother
and me that we're not proud of.
30
00:01:52,366 --> 00:01:55,960
It was the middle of a wild decade
known as the 1990s.
31
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,742
The '90s? Never heard of it.
32
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,973
Oh, it was a wonderful time.
33
00:01:59,978 --> 00:02:02,400
The Iraq war was over
once and for all,
34
00:02:02,408 --> 00:02:05,361
a struggling Matt Groening
created Futurama,
35
00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:07,902
and young people believed
in their dreams,
36
00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:11,700
thanks to a TV show called
Melrose Place.
37
00:02:12,438 --> 00:02:13,961
Your mother and I were dating,
38
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,330
and we had just moved into
39
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:16,940
our first apartment together.
40
00:02:21,306 --> 00:02:23,281
Luann, a picture of you
cheating on me
41
00:02:23,288 --> 00:02:25,023
is downloading onto my computer.
42
00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:27,870
I'll know who you were with
in less than six hours!
43
00:02:27,925 --> 00:02:29,730
Unless someone picks up
the phone.
44
00:02:29,746 --> 00:02:31,280
No, no, no, no! Oh!
45
00:02:31,915 --> 00:02:33,461
We didn't have a lot of money,
46
00:02:33,466 --> 00:02:35,273
but we were young and in love.
47
00:02:37,207 --> 00:02:37,992
Oh!
48
00:02:37,996 --> 00:02:40,141
I'm afraid it's Top Ramen again.
49
00:02:40,156 --> 00:02:41,080
With you, baby,
50
00:02:41,088 --> 00:02:43,662
Top Ramen tastes like
Cup O' Noodles.
51
00:02:46,378 --> 00:02:51,250
You know, these IKEA foam
futons do Velcro together.
52
00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:53,310
Uh, I-I'm sorry.
53
00:02:53,328 --> 00:02:55,152
I'm not ready to do that yet.
54
00:02:55,196 --> 00:02:56,903
I want to wait until I'm married,
55
00:02:56,916 --> 00:02:58,210
or at least really drunk.
56
00:02:58,285 --> 00:02:59,212
I understand.
57
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:02,122
We should follow the lead
of today's celebrity role models.
58
00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:03,792
Sonic The hedghog says
"Wait until marriage".
59
00:03:03,875 --> 00:03:05,253
Like all young people,
60
00:03:05,255 --> 00:03:06,461
I had a musical dream,
61
00:03:06,466 --> 00:03:08,590
a dream called inoffensive urban light
62
00:03:08,595 --> 00:03:10,280
hip-hop smooth grooves.
63
00:03:10,286 --> 00:03:12,722
Okay, everyone,
let's warm up our harmonies.
64
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,223
Homer
65
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,370
Lenny
66
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:16,332
Carl
67
00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:17,890
Lou the Cop
68
00:03:19,998 --> 00:03:24,810
I'll make rub to you Show
respect for you
69
00:03:24,915 --> 00:03:30,181
Hug so safe and strong Backrub
all night long !
70
00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:32,590
I'll make rub to you!
71
00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:35,470
But our happiness was
about to unravel
72
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,980
just like Kevin Costner's career:
73
00:03:37,996 --> 00:03:40,100
because of the postman.
74
00:03:40,575 --> 00:03:42,031
You applied to college?
75
00:03:42,036 --> 00:03:43,312
Why didn't you tell me?
76
00:03:43,327 --> 00:03:44,551
I did tell you.
77
00:03:44,566 --> 00:03:46,422
I thought you were telling
me you wanted
78
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,990
to apply yourself to
making a collage.
79
00:03:49,007 --> 00:03:50,610
And as I recall, I was against it.
80
00:03:50,616 --> 00:03:52,521
I can't believe I got in.
81
00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:54,502
It's like a dream come true.
82
00:03:54,967 --> 00:03:57,232
An expensive dream.
83
00:04:01,378 --> 00:04:04,000
Oh, baby, you deserve
every last bit of it!
84
00:04:04,007 --> 00:04:05,160
I can get the money,
85
00:04:05,225 --> 00:04:07,840
but it'll mean swallowing my
pride and working for...
86
00:04:07,987 --> 00:04:09,442
my dad!
87
00:04:10,477 --> 00:04:12,171
Well, Well, Well,
88
00:04:12,175 --> 00:04:15,802
look who's come crawling back
to work for your old man.
89
00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,521
What do you need the money for?
90
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,123
Medicine?
91
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,221
None of your business.
92
00:04:20,246 --> 00:04:22,062
Now give me a job at your business.
93
00:04:22,066 --> 00:04:22,890
You're dead!
94
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,310
Die! Die! Die!
95
00:04:24,317 --> 00:04:25,302
Suck my beam!
96
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:29,193
Okay, all right! Time's up!
97
00:04:35,038 --> 00:04:36,912
This counts as your break.
98
00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:39,000
But Marge's education was worth
99
00:04:39,008 --> 00:04:41,952
all the pistol-whipping in the world.
100
00:04:42,126 --> 00:04:44,560
This place is just like
the brochure:
101
00:04:44,565 --> 00:04:46,320
Autumn leaves.
102
00:04:46,325 --> 00:04:47,951
Bull sessions.
103
00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,273
And that is why
104
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:51,761
The Lord of the Rings can
never be filmed.
105
00:04:51,818 --> 00:04:54,703
Fraternity pledges in their beanies.
106
00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:57,822
I think I'm gonna like it here.
107
00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:04,240
So, have you all bought the required
textbooks for this class?
108
00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:05,723
Good.
109
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,762
Now throw them all away!
110
00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:14,530
Everything you think you know
about history is a lie.
111
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:17,261
For example: the Founding Fathers.
112
00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:18,523
What did they have in common?
113
00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:19,510
They defied a king?
114
00:05:19,515 --> 00:05:21,913
They created a system of
checks and balances?
115
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:22,751
Wrong!
116
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:26,523
They were all white, Protestant,
property-owning males.
117
00:05:28,926 --> 00:05:30,240
Evil
118
00:05:32,868 --> 00:05:37,903
Are you saying that America was
founded on misconceptions?
119
00:05:38,178 --> 00:05:39,122
Who said that?
120
00:05:44,908 --> 00:05:47,983
That is exactly what I'm saying.
121
00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,623
Fall semester,
you just got interesting.
122
00:05:53,506 --> 00:05:54,831
The bridges of Madison county.
123
00:05:56,175 --> 00:05:58,770
This book sucks so much.
124
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,952
Homie, my mind has been opened
in so many ways!
125
00:06:01,956 --> 00:06:04,120
Did you know that every US president
126
00:06:04,128 --> 00:06:06,273
has been a straight white man?
127
00:06:06,277 --> 00:06:07,893
Even Walt Disney?
128
00:06:07,907 --> 00:06:11,112
And did you also know that history
is written by the winners?
129
00:06:11,117 --> 00:06:11,613
Really?
130
00:06:11,627 --> 00:06:13,480
I thought it was written by losers.
131
00:06:16,655 --> 00:06:17,700
If you think that,
132
00:06:17,717 --> 00:06:19,251
you should meet my new professor.
133
00:06:19,258 --> 00:06:23,181
Professor August has shown me
a side of the world I never knew.
134
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,651
Professor August, eh?
135
00:06:24,656 --> 00:06:26,991
Who is he, somegray-haired
old bookworm?
136
00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:29,042
Uh, not exactly.
137
00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:29,840
Marge,
138
00:06:29,846 --> 00:06:32,680
I hope I'll be seeing you
tomorrow during office hours.
139
00:06:34,788 --> 00:06:36,561
Uh, 3:00 to 5:00, right?
140
00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,770
If my beads are parted,
come right in.
141
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,450
I will!
142
00:06:43,008 --> 00:06:44,822
To the faculty club!
143
00:06:48,635 --> 00:06:50,690
I never heard that noise before.
144
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:51,769
Are you sick?
145
00:06:53,049 --> 00:06:56,274
Hmm. I wonder what's on your mind.
146
00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,581
Okay, I relate your pilot light.
147
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,072
Now I just need to do a
little work on the thermostat.
148
00:07:06,265 --> 00:07:08,370
Would you like me to
tell you a story while I work?
149
00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:10,620
One about a woman I loved and lost?
150
00:07:10,627 --> 00:07:12,750
We're in the middle of
our own story, thank you.
151
00:07:12,756 --> 00:07:15,561
Right. No one wants to hear
about the gasman's girl.
152
00:07:15,606 --> 00:07:18,501
"Just shut up, monkey man,
and make the gas flow. "
153
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,062
Anyway, I was growing to admire
154
00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:23,590
my professor more and more.
155
00:07:23,808 --> 00:07:26,073
...so that's why instead of "X-X",
156
00:07:26,075 --> 00:07:29,231
I think of the female genes
in a more positive light...
157
00:07:30,828 --> 00:07:32,151
Plus-Plus.
158
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:37,073
Professor, do you think
white male scientists
159
00:07:37,076 --> 00:07:40,872
have marginalized the
contributions of the Third World?
160
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:41,691
Great question.
161
00:07:41,706 --> 00:07:43,660
And the answer is "of course."
162
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,070
Could a tribe of bushmen have
invented penicillin?
163
00:07:46,078 --> 00:07:47,381
Maybe they already have.
164
00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:48,712
But no one asked them.
165
00:07:48,966 --> 00:07:50,821
No one asked them.
166
00:07:57,015 --> 00:08:01,592
Oh, Elaine, will you ever find
someone who's sponge-worthy?
167
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:05,511
Professor August says the situation
comedy is a doomed genre.
168
00:08:05,516 --> 00:08:06,883
Here's what I say to that:
169
00:08:06,896 --> 00:08:07,733
no soup for you!
170
00:08:07,736 --> 00:08:10,580
Because I am "master of my domain".
171
00:08:10,587 --> 00:08:12,240
Newman.
172
00:08:12,247 --> 00:08:14,672
I wish you would support my comments.
173
00:08:14,677 --> 00:08:17,332
Hey, I worked hard all day to
pay for your education.
174
00:08:17,337 --> 00:08:19,022
Can't I get all Zima'd up and have
175
00:08:19,027 --> 00:08:21,432
my best girl put salve
on my laser burns?
176
00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:24,432
Are the lasers supposed
to burn you?
177
00:08:24,446 --> 00:08:26,110
Apparently if all the kids fire
178
00:08:26,115 --> 00:08:28,510
at your stomach at once, it adds up.
179
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:49,182
Closing time open all the doors
180
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:53,812
and let you out into the world...
181
00:08:56,216 --> 00:08:59,642
Marge, your art project for
"protest studies" is very impressive.
182
00:09:02,345 --> 00:09:04,520
Thank you, Professor August.
183
00:09:04,526 --> 00:09:06,291
Oh, please, I'm your advisor.
184
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:07,460
Call me Steffan.
185
00:09:09,886 --> 00:09:11,273
Oh, thanks.
186
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:13,523
It-it's just a note from
my boyfriend.
187
00:09:13,526 --> 00:09:14,381
Let me guess:
188
00:09:14,386 --> 00:09:15,732
he's a high school flame
189
00:09:15,735 --> 00:09:17,223
who's preventing you from flowering.
190
00:09:17,226 --> 00:09:18,803
Homer's perfect for me!
191
00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,112
Just look at this note:
192
00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:22,020
"I miss you". Aww.
193
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,942
Actually, Marge, if I may
deconstruct that letter.
194
00:09:24,947 --> 00:09:26,743
When he writes "I miss you,"
195
00:09:26,745 --> 00:09:29,611
"I" is the subject
and "you" is the object.
196
00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:31,732
You are his object.
197
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,493
But Homer's so supportive.
198
00:09:33,497 --> 00:09:35,722
He's paying for me to
go to college.
199
00:09:35,726 --> 00:09:37,141
He's paying for you?
200
00:09:37,147 --> 00:09:38,441
Like he owns you?
201
00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:40,401
I'm sorry, but that is oppression.
202
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:43,442
Well, I know you'd never say
anything that isn't objective...
203
00:09:43,445 --> 00:09:45,241
Marge, your assignment is
to think about
204
00:09:45,247 --> 00:09:47,343
what I've said about
your relationship.
205
00:09:47,348 --> 00:09:48,572
When is it due?
206
00:09:48,586 --> 00:09:50,890
Before it's too late.
207
00:09:50,977 --> 00:09:52,491
Steffan!
208
00:09:53,236 --> 00:09:54,253
Marge! Marge!
209
00:09:54,255 --> 00:09:55,310
Where are you?!
210
00:09:56,777 --> 00:09:59,893
Are you by that Joan Miro Statue?
211
00:09:59,905 --> 00:10:01,760
lt's "Juan" Miro!
212
00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:03,412
Stupid townie!
213
00:10:04,545 --> 00:10:07,211
Hey, it's townies like me
that cook your food and
214
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:08,140
clean your bathrooms!
215
00:10:08,147 --> 00:10:11,950
If you did the former better
we'd use the latter less.
216
00:10:13,076 --> 00:10:14,553
That's it, townie!
217
00:10:14,555 --> 00:10:15,222
Run!
218
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:17,172
Run back to your town!
219
00:10:17,177 --> 00:10:20,312
Marge, this dreamcatcher
was given to me by a warrior
220
00:10:20,318 --> 00:10:23,423
of the Lakopane tribe,
a tribe ruled by women.
221
00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:25,423
I think it has already
caught my dream.
222
00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:31,722
What the hell is going on here?
223
00:10:31,726 --> 00:10:32,580
Chanting?!
224
00:10:32,587 --> 00:10:34,511
Homer! You're embarrassing me!
225
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,981
Marge, what are you doing
in this crazy college?
226
00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:39,310
This place is nothing
like Animal House!
227
00:10:39,316 --> 00:10:42,952
I smashed a beatnik's guitar
and he sued me for damages!
228
00:10:43,117 --> 00:10:44,883
Successfully!
229
00:10:44,887 --> 00:10:46,391
Homie, go home.
230
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,961
We'll talk about this later.
231
00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:48,692
Fine!
232
00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:52,291
Slam!
233
00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:00,241
I can't do it!
234
00:11:00,308 --> 00:11:01,921
Our harmony-laden R&B doesn't
235
00:11:01,926 --> 00:11:03,652
make sense in this cruel world.
236
00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:05,580
I'm taking our music to
the next level:
237
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:09,891
Guitar Rock Utilizing
Nihilist Grunge Energies.
238
00:11:09,896 --> 00:11:12,531
Or, as I call it: Grunge!
239
00:11:12,535 --> 00:11:14,831
We are Sadgasm,
240
00:11:14,835 --> 00:11:16,531
and this song is called...
241
00:11:16,537 --> 00:11:18,600
"Politically Incorrect."
242
00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:30,373
Pain is brown
243
00:11:31,068 --> 00:11:34,270
Hate is white
244
00:11:35,298 --> 00:11:38,322
Love is black
245
00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:42,431
Stab the night
246
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:47,112
Kingdom of numb
247
00:11:48,896 --> 00:11:51,083
Closet of hurt
248
00:11:52,988 --> 00:11:55,553
Feelings are dumb
249
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,603
Kisses are dirt...
250
00:11:59,648 --> 00:12:00,603
Kurt? Kurt?
251
00:12:00,626 --> 00:12:01,520
It's Marvin!
252
00:12:01,545 --> 00:12:03,781
Your cousin, Marvin Cobain!
253
00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:05,640
You know that new sound
you're looking for?
254
00:12:05,648 --> 00:12:06,952
Well, listen to this!
255
00:12:11,238 --> 00:12:12,751
Marge! Marge!
256
00:12:15,975 --> 00:12:17,192
Hey, Marge.
257
00:12:17,197 --> 00:12:20,153
Homer, your music is so
angry and bitter.
258
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,732
Now why would I be angry and bitter?
259
00:12:21,737 --> 00:12:23,712
Because I'm paying for you
to make goo-goo eyes
260
00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:25,682
at some smooth-talking professor?
261
00:12:25,688 --> 00:12:27,071
Well, here's a question for you:
262
00:12:27,077 --> 00:12:30,363
why should I stay with a man
who resents how I've flowered?
263
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,272
Well, if you feel that way
maybe you can find
264
00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:34,533
someone who wants to nurture
the new you,
265
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:37,270
maybe someone a little
older and more sophisticated,
266
00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:40,420
who can take you to Europe
during the summer.
267
00:12:40,428 --> 00:12:42,283
- Fine by me.
- D'oh!
268
00:12:46,537 --> 00:12:48,811
Hey. Will you sign my boobs?
269
00:12:48,838 --> 00:12:49,691
Yeah.
270
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:51,691
Marge come back.
271
00:12:55,756 --> 00:12:58,921
Mom, why did you stop talking
for two and a half minutes?
272
00:12:58,925 --> 00:13:00,462
It seemed like 20.
273
00:13:00,465 --> 00:13:01,211
Whatever.
274
00:13:01,216 --> 00:13:03,383
Homer and I had the wrenching task
275
00:13:03,387 --> 00:13:05,721
of dividing up a shared life.
276
00:13:06,658 --> 00:13:09,661
Okay, I'll keep the LPs,
and you take the CDs.
277
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,941
I'll take the typewriter;
you take the computer.
278
00:13:11,948 --> 00:13:15,022
I'll take the Enron stock;
you take the Microsoft stock.
279
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:15,900
And, um...
280
00:13:15,908 --> 00:13:18,213
Who gets... Cutie-puss?
281
00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:20,903
I just want a tentacle.
282
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,000
I was so depressed,
283
00:13:36,006 --> 00:13:38,752
I spent all my time in a bar.
284
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,003
Gimme a beer, Moe.
285
00:13:40,008 --> 00:13:41,473
I don't sell booze no more.
286
00:13:41,496 --> 00:13:43,243
This is a cigar bar now.
287
00:13:44,666 --> 00:13:46,471
Fine. Cohiba me.
288
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:49,303
Leave the humidor.
289
00:13:54,846 --> 00:13:56,441
I don't feel so good.
290
00:14:01,986 --> 00:14:03,570
I wasn't trying to steal your watch.
291
00:14:03,578 --> 00:14:05,513
I-I was just comin' on to ya.
292
00:14:05,518 --> 00:14:08,570
Okay, let's go back to my place.
293
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:09,702
Oh, boy.
294
00:14:10,447 --> 00:14:13,042
Ready to take my personal
tour of Springfield's
295
00:14:13,048 --> 00:14:15,813
most wheelchair-unfriendly
restaurants?
296
00:14:15,816 --> 00:14:17,263
I sure am!
297
00:14:17,265 --> 00:14:19,602
I want your knowledge inside me.
298
00:14:25,105 --> 00:14:28,323
Seeing Marge always reminds
me of Marge.
299
00:14:31,876 --> 00:14:34,740
Now where will I get my oxygen?
300
00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:45,132
Razorblade of apathy
301
00:14:45,658 --> 00:14:48,823
Shave me with your irony
302
00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,810
Shave me!
303
00:14:52,028 --> 00:14:54,060
Shave me!
304
00:14:57,797 --> 00:15:00,681
Have you really read all
of these books?
305
00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,522
Morally, I couldn't display them
on shelves if I hadn't.
306
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:04,903
But I watch sports as well,
307
00:15:04,906 --> 00:15:06,731
just like a regular man.
308
00:15:07,816 --> 00:15:09,073
Good Goddess!
309
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:12,390
The Patriots deep
in Redskin territory.
310
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:13,850
This isn't entertainment;
311
00:15:13,856 --> 00:15:15,372
it's genocide!
312
00:15:19,056 --> 00:15:21,383
Why don't we put on some music?
313
00:15:21,515 --> 00:15:22,890
Shave me!
314
00:15:23,535 --> 00:15:24,512
No! No!
315
00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:26,070
I need whale songs!
316
00:15:26,168 --> 00:15:27,083
Oceans of the sea
317
00:15:33,436 --> 00:15:36,041
Marge, may I compliment
your appearance?
318
00:15:36,045 --> 00:15:37,072
Yeah, sure.
319
00:15:37,078 --> 00:15:38,693
You look lovely.
320
00:15:38,728 --> 00:15:40,662
If I were to approach you
for a kiss,
321
00:15:40,665 --> 00:15:42,920
would you construe that
as harassment
322
00:15:42,928 --> 00:15:44,382
or give your willing consent?
323
00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:46,363
Consent, of course.
324
00:15:46,366 --> 00:15:48,772
Ah. Continuing in that
line of thought,
325
00:15:48,886 --> 00:15:51,721
may I kiss your mouth
with my mouth?
326
00:15:51,727 --> 00:15:53,553
Just do it already!
327
00:15:55,378 --> 00:15:59,200
I had finally realized
every rock star's dream:
328
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,032
hating being famous.
329
00:16:06,688 --> 00:16:08,452
Why aren't I happy?
330
00:16:08,455 --> 00:16:11,500
I'm the hottest grunge
artist on Mucous Records.
331
00:16:11,508 --> 00:16:13,842
Weird Al is doing a parody
of my song.
332
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:17,492
Raisin bread with applesauce
333
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:21,491
Tony Danza, he's the boss
334
00:16:22,295 --> 00:16:24,252
Brain freeze!
335
00:16:24,447 --> 00:16:26,493
Brain freeze!
336
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:28,703
Brain freeze!
337
00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:30,753
Brain freeze!
338
00:16:31,897 --> 00:16:35,601
He who is tired of Weird
Al is tired of life.
339
00:16:38,135 --> 00:16:39,323
Look at that lighthouse.
340
00:16:39,325 --> 00:16:43,392
That's the ultimate expression of
phallocentric technocracy,
341
00:16:43,395 --> 00:16:45,160
violating Mother Sky.
342
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:47,590
I thought they were just
tall so boats could see them.
343
00:16:47,595 --> 00:16:48,331
No, Marge.
344
00:16:48,337 --> 00:16:50,662
Everything penis-shaped is bad.
345
00:16:52,616 --> 00:16:54,271
Look, a wedding!
346
00:16:54,887 --> 00:16:57,592
Slavery is alive and well
in Springfield.
347
00:16:57,597 --> 00:16:59,533
You oppose marriage?
348
00:16:59,536 --> 00:17:02,742
Marge, marriage has oppressed
women for centuries.
349
00:17:02,745 --> 00:17:03,922
But, Steffan,
350
00:17:03,925 --> 00:17:06,280
I would like to get married someday.
351
00:17:06,296 --> 00:17:10,733
Oh, Marge, it's statements like that
make people say women are stupid.
352
00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:12,430
It's statements like that that...
353
00:17:12,508 --> 00:17:13,423
are mean!
354
00:17:13,488 --> 00:17:14,910
Well, it may sound mean,
355
00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:17,012
but I'm just trying to
help you evolve.
356
00:17:17,028 --> 00:17:19,743
Oh, evolve yourself, Professor Jerk!
357
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,530
Or should I say,
Associate Professor Jerk!
358
00:17:26,435 --> 00:17:30,191
I only got denied tenure because
my department head is an idiot!
359
00:17:30,255 --> 00:17:33,671
Der, duh, what did you
say about me?
360
00:17:33,688 --> 00:17:35,312
I'm sorry, Professor Moose.
361
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:38,090
You're about to get your PhD...
362
00:17:38,127 --> 00:17:40,131
Pound Head Down.
363
00:17:50,548 --> 00:17:54,463
Spread yellow gunk on
my pancake heart
364
00:17:54,555 --> 00:17:57,960
Country-churned girl
in my grocery cart...
365
00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,433
Could he be singing about me ?
366
00:18:02,908 --> 00:18:03,840
He is!
367
00:18:04,187 --> 00:18:06,081
I paid for her dreams
368
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,013
She taught me to cry
369
00:18:08,056 --> 00:18:09,520
Like watery knives
370
00:18:09,845 --> 00:18:11,791
Like rain from my eyes
371
00:18:13,395 --> 00:18:17,322
I can't believe you're not mine
372
00:18:20,865 --> 00:18:24,610
I can't believe you're not mine
373
00:18:24,986 --> 00:18:26,752
Mar-ge-rine
374
00:18:28,545 --> 00:18:30,602
Mar-ge-rine
375
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:34,550
Mar-ge-rine
376
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,982
Mar-ge-rine!
377
00:18:39,705 --> 00:18:41,891
Mar-ge-rine!
378
00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:45,680
He loves me so much
after what I did to him.
379
00:18:48,115 --> 00:18:51,073
We interrupt this "Bleak Block"
to bring you a breaking story.
380
00:18:51,078 --> 00:18:54,280
Grunge trailblazer Sadgasm
have broken up.
381
00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:58,360
Reclusive front man
Homer Simpson has
382
00:18:58,365 --> 00:19:00,612
holed himself up in his mansion,
as rumors swirled
383
00:19:00,616 --> 00:19:03,201
about an out-of-control
narcotics addiction.
384
00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,972
This is Kurt Loder reporting from...
385
00:19:05,007 --> 00:19:05,772
the '90s.
386
00:19:06,497 --> 00:19:08,790
No, narcotics!
387
00:19:14,997 --> 00:19:16,682
Oh, my God, you're a junkie!
388
00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:18,053
I need it...
389
00:19:18,058 --> 00:19:19,691
I'm getting you off this stuff.
390
00:19:19,695 --> 00:19:21,100
But I need it!
391
00:19:21,108 --> 00:19:22,633
No, you don't!
392
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:29,592
Unfortunately, as I later learned,
393
00:19:29,595 --> 00:19:30,780
that wasn't heroin.
394
00:19:30,785 --> 00:19:31,823
It was insulin.
395
00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:34,292
Homer really did
need those injections.
396
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,983
I had become diabetic from
drinking too many Frappuccinos.
397
00:19:39,196 --> 00:19:42,053
Homie, I got so caught
up in the world of college
398
00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,831
that I forgot how
important your love was.
399
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,263
Can you find it in your heart
to take me back?
400
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:48,333
Of course.
401
00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:52,113
The thing that stood between us
the '90s is almost over.
402
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:52,851
You're right.
403
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:55,113
But I'm worried about what's
on the horizon:
404
00:19:55,118 --> 00:19:57,450
reality shows, Britney Spears,
405
00:19:57,458 --> 00:20:00,150
the suspicious number
of home runs being hit...
406
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:03,261
At least we know there'll never be
a president worse than Bill Clinton.
407
00:20:03,278 --> 00:20:06,740
Imagine, lying in a
deposition in a civil lawsuit.
408
00:20:06,745 --> 00:20:09,293
That's the worst sin a
president could commit.
409
00:20:09,296 --> 00:20:11,403
There'll never be a worse president.
410
00:20:11,415 --> 00:20:12,141
Never.
411
00:20:12,258 --> 00:20:13,011
Never.
412
00:20:13,358 --> 00:20:15,223
With the '90s drawing to a close,
413
00:20:15,225 --> 00:20:17,312
and the Sydney Olympics
to look forward to,
414
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:19,003
our love rekindled.
415
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:20,620
And one moonlight night,
416
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,752
I finally had fun at
a mini-golf course.
417
00:20:27,696 --> 00:20:29,013
Homer, stop!
418
00:20:29,076 --> 00:20:31,840
You don't have to tell
the kids everything!
419
00:20:32,295 --> 00:20:33,772
What did I miss? How did it end?
420
00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:35,190
You two ever get back together?
421
00:20:35,196 --> 00:20:37,792
Yep, that professor couldn't
keep me and Marge apart.
422
00:20:37,798 --> 00:20:40,882
I mean, unless he had been
a little nicer at the beach.
423
00:20:42,085 --> 00:20:45,293
Well, that professor did teach
me one good lesson:
424
00:20:45,295 --> 00:20:47,802
Homie is where my heart is.
425
00:20:49,086 --> 00:20:50,892
And once we were back together,
426
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:54,081
I was to happy ever to grunge again.
427
00:20:55,665 --> 00:20:56,911
Townies.