1 00:00:01,957 --> 00:00:04,324 (Futurama theme plays) 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,360 ♪ Two... two, three... ♪ 3 00:00:07,863 --> 00:00:09,396 Ooh. Wiggle in. 4 00:00:09,432 --> 00:00:11,398 Get comfortable. (Marge yells) 5 00:00:11,434 --> 00:00:13,400 Hey, a couch is a couch. 6 00:00:13,436 --> 00:00:16,203 (grunts) Ooh, yeah. 7 00:00:16,238 --> 00:00:18,639 (sexy lounge music playing) 8 00:00:18,674 --> 00:00:21,675 (chuckling) 9 00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:24,078 (moaning) Yes, there, you see? 10 00:00:24,113 --> 00:00:25,512 Oh, yeah! (giggles) 11 00:00:25,548 --> 00:00:26,914 (laughing) Oh-ho-ho-ho! 12 00:00:26,949 --> 00:00:28,949 That's so... 13 00:00:29,952 --> 00:00:31,385 HOMER: Whoo-hoo! 14 00:00:31,386 --> 00:00:35,386 ♪ The Simpsons 26x06 ♪ Simpsorama Original Air Date on November 9, 2014 15 00:00:35,387 --> 00:00:38,087 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 16 00:00:38,094 --> 00:00:39,460 SKINNER: Uh, students, 17 00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,228 each one of you has been assigned 18 00:00:41,263 --> 00:00:42,763 the mandatory honor of contributing 19 00:00:42,798 --> 00:00:44,431 to the Springfield time capsule, 20 00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:46,467 where your arcana will lie dormant 21 00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:48,502 until the 31st century. 22 00:00:49,638 --> 00:00:51,605 And... (grunts) 23 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,774 By the time you finish talking, we're gonna be 24 00:00:53,809 --> 00:00:55,375 opening this damn capsule. 25 00:00:55,411 --> 00:00:57,711 Right. Time capsule. Nelson, give me something. 26 00:00:57,746 --> 00:00:59,646 I brought a picture of my dad. 27 00:00:59,682 --> 00:01:01,148 He's still at large... 28 00:01:01,183 --> 00:01:03,450 (voice breaks): in my heart! 29 00:01:03,486 --> 00:01:05,586 I brought my lucky rabbit's foot. 30 00:01:05,621 --> 00:01:08,021 I can have good luck without it. 31 00:01:08,057 --> 00:01:09,656 (gasps) Ow! 32 00:01:09,692 --> 00:01:12,493 Wish we could put this moment in the time capsule. 33 00:01:12,528 --> 00:01:14,328 Consider it done. 34 00:01:17,199 --> 00:01:19,166 Uh, how about you, Bart? 35 00:01:19,201 --> 00:01:21,668 Let me guess-- you forgot to bring something. 36 00:01:21,704 --> 00:01:25,472 I'm offended you think I forgot. 37 00:01:25,508 --> 00:01:26,508 Let's see. 38 00:01:26,509 --> 00:01:27,941 Ta-da! 39 00:01:27,977 --> 00:01:29,943 Listen, boy, this is the only legacy 40 00:01:29,979 --> 00:01:31,445 you'll ever leave. 41 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,147 Better make this count. 42 00:01:33,182 --> 00:01:34,948 (blows nose) 43 00:01:34,984 --> 00:01:36,850 (gasps) My sandwich! 44 00:01:36,886 --> 00:01:38,452 (devious chuckle) 45 00:01:38,487 --> 00:01:42,289 And so a thousand years from now this capsule will be opened 46 00:01:42,324 --> 00:01:44,625 by some future Mayor Quimby. 47 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:46,793 (crowd cheers) 48 00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:54,001 That-that could be anyone's ooze. 49 00:01:58,174 --> 00:02:00,174 (truck backup alarm beeping) 50 00:02:03,078 --> 00:02:05,045 (grunts) There. 51 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,382 And now, to help secure the jazz vote, 52 00:02:08,417 --> 00:02:11,685 Lisa Simpson will play her saxophone. 53 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,654 ♪ ♪ 54 00:02:13,689 --> 00:02:15,822 (thunder crashes) 55 00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:17,991 Even God hates jazz. 56 00:02:18,027 --> 00:02:19,193 (thunder rumbling) 57 00:02:19,228 --> 00:02:21,628 KENT BROCKMAN: A mysterious electrical storm 58 00:02:21,664 --> 00:02:23,397 is currently wreaking havoc with our studio. 59 00:02:23,432 --> 00:02:25,732 (chuckles): But I'm not one of those brainless dolts 60 00:02:25,768 --> 00:02:28,569 who mindlessly reads a teleprompter-er... 61 00:02:28,604 --> 00:02:32,973 error 401 backslash backslash colon reset C-drive 62 00:02:33,008 --> 00:02:35,676 shutting down. 63 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:38,078 (electrical zapping) (male screaming) 64 00:02:38,113 --> 00:02:39,913 (crash) (grunts) 65 00:02:39,949 --> 00:02:42,149 What the hell was that? Probably just another piece 66 00:02:42,184 --> 00:02:44,218 of America's space junk falling out of orbit. 67 00:02:44,253 --> 00:02:46,086 Remember when this country didn't suck? 68 00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:47,354 'Cause I don't. 69 00:02:47,389 --> 00:02:49,790 (thunder crashing) 70 00:02:52,695 --> 00:02:54,561 (loud glugging in distance) 71 00:02:54,597 --> 00:02:55,896 (loud belch) 72 00:02:55,931 --> 00:02:57,564 (glass shatters) (gasps) 73 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,234 Homer, I think there's someone downstairs. 74 00:03:00,269 --> 00:03:01,902 Relax, Marge. 75 00:03:01,937 --> 00:03:05,138 It's probably just Homer coming home late from Moe's. 76 00:03:05,174 --> 00:03:06,440 Hmm. 77 00:03:10,479 --> 00:03:12,913 Ooh, the eyes in that picture are following me! 78 00:03:12,948 --> 00:03:15,382 Uh, that's a mirror. 79 00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:18,752 Isn't all great art kind of a mirror? 80 00:03:18,787 --> 00:03:20,053 (door creaks) 81 00:03:20,089 --> 00:03:22,055 (deep belching nearby) 82 00:03:22,091 --> 00:03:24,057 We'd better send the dog down. 83 00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:26,727 Come on, here's your chance to protect us, boy. 84 00:03:26,762 --> 00:03:27,961 (whining) Come on. C... 85 00:03:27,997 --> 00:03:29,529 (growls) Aah! 86 00:03:29,565 --> 00:03:31,331 Stupid dog. 87 00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:33,900 (growling) 88 00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:34,936 Ow! 89 00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:36,103 (clattering in distance) 90 00:03:36,138 --> 00:03:38,138 MALE VOICE: Ow. 91 00:03:40,242 --> 00:03:42,209 We'll have to set a trap, Bait-- 92 00:03:42,244 --> 00:03:43,577 I mean, Bart. 93 00:03:50,919 --> 00:03:52,653 HOMER: All set. 94 00:03:52,688 --> 00:03:56,757 When he starts gnawing at you, I'll whack him with this broom. 95 00:03:57,793 --> 00:03:59,226 (gasps) 96 00:04:00,262 --> 00:04:01,895 Hmm. 97 00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:03,964 Ooh! (chuckles) 98 00:04:03,999 --> 00:04:06,099 Don't drink my loved ones! 99 00:04:06,135 --> 00:04:08,835 Oh! Bite my shiny metal ass! 100 00:04:08,871 --> 00:04:10,937 A robot! With a catchphrase! 101 00:04:10,973 --> 00:04:13,006 Hey, Homer, you gonna kiss him or kill him? 102 00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:13,473 (grunts) 103 00:04:13,509 --> 00:04:14,908 (yells) 104 00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:16,476 All right! Tether-boy! 105 00:04:16,512 --> 00:04:18,945 (grunting) (grunting) 106 00:04:21,216 --> 00:04:22,549 (yelling) 107 00:04:22,584 --> 00:04:24,818 (chuckles) 108 00:04:24,853 --> 00:04:26,453 Okay, so, what are you? 109 00:04:26,488 --> 00:04:28,455 Must be a secret government project. 110 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:30,657 Whoa, what do I look like, a narc? 111 00:04:30,693 --> 00:04:34,294 My name is Bender, and I come from... 112 00:04:34,330 --> 00:04:36,196 the future! 113 00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:39,199 Prove it. What happens to Homer Simpson in the future? 114 00:04:39,234 --> 00:04:41,268 I don't know. You die? 115 00:04:41,303 --> 00:04:43,704 Oh... my... God. 116 00:04:43,739 --> 00:04:45,672 He's telling the truth. 117 00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:48,742 I have to take you to our civic leaders. 118 00:04:49,745 --> 00:04:52,179 (deep belch) 119 00:04:52,214 --> 00:04:54,781 Hey, hibachi head, how are you gonna pay for that? 120 00:04:54,817 --> 00:04:57,150 Uh, let me just transfer some, uh, 121 00:04:57,186 --> 00:05:00,020 electronic hyper- credits into your 122 00:05:00,055 --> 00:05:01,188 register here. 123 00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:02,456 Ding-da-ding- ding-ding-ding- 124 00:05:02,491 --> 00:05:04,658 ding-ding! Ooh, and, uh, another round 125 00:05:04,693 --> 00:05:05,792 for my friends! 126 00:05:05,828 --> 00:05:07,561 Ding-da-ding-ding- da-ding-ding. 127 00:05:07,596 --> 00:05:08,995 (others cheer) 128 00:05:09,031 --> 00:05:11,231 (chuckles): Hey, this blade rummy is all right. 129 00:05:11,266 --> 00:05:13,834 He's a big spender, plus he fixed the jukebox. 130 00:05:13,869 --> 00:05:16,169 (quietly): I think they had a thing going. 131 00:05:16,205 --> 00:05:18,405 ♪ Oh, baby, what you done to me... ♪ 132 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,873 (needle scratches record) 133 00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:22,175 I hate it when they get quiet. 134 00:05:22,211 --> 00:05:24,378 Listen, uh, I know you're a robot 135 00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:26,380 and incapable of emotion... 136 00:05:26,415 --> 00:05:28,515 (sobbing): It's true. 137 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,484 I'm empty inside! 138 00:05:30,519 --> 00:05:32,219 (sobbing loudly) 139 00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:35,088 Uh, look, I just want to ask, can we be friends? 140 00:05:35,124 --> 00:05:38,191 You're the only guy I know with less hair than me. 141 00:05:38,227 --> 00:05:40,494 Sure. That's why I came to your time-- 142 00:05:40,529 --> 00:05:42,195 for all you know. 143 00:05:42,231 --> 00:05:44,431 OTHERS: For all we know! 144 00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:48,101 (chuckling) 145 00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,042 D'oh! 146 00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:58,044 (mechanical whirring) 147 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,513 A, uh, strike! 148 00:05:59,548 --> 00:06:01,581 A totally legitimate strike! 149 00:06:02,618 --> 00:06:04,284 Yeah! (chuckles) 150 00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:07,120 Hey, uh, what's the robot version of bro-Mance? 151 00:06:07,156 --> 00:06:08,688 Ro-Mance. 152 00:06:08,724 --> 00:06:12,959 You future guys have a word for everything... pal. 153 00:06:12,995 --> 00:06:15,228 (both snoring) 154 00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:17,297 You know, they look a little similar. 155 00:06:17,332 --> 00:06:19,599 Yeah. Like the guy who designed Bender 156 00:06:19,635 --> 00:06:21,568 just took a drawing of Dad 157 00:06:21,603 --> 00:06:23,570 and stuck an antenna on it. 158 00:06:23,605 --> 00:06:25,405 LISA: A little lazy, 159 00:06:25,441 --> 00:06:27,441 if you ask me. 160 00:06:27,476 --> 00:06:29,476 Regardless, I see no reason to believe 161 00:06:29,511 --> 00:06:31,478 that Bender is from the future. 162 00:06:31,513 --> 00:06:34,815 Robotic technology today is very advanced. 163 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,483 Oh, really? 164 00:06:36,518 --> 00:06:39,786 Can your modern-day robots do this? 165 00:06:39,822 --> 00:06:44,124 ("The Stars and Stripes Forever" playing) 166 00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:45,459 It's not my birthday-- 167 00:06:45,494 --> 00:06:47,494 although Maggie's is pretty soon. 168 00:06:47,529 --> 00:06:48,895 I can't do "Maggie." 169 00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:50,697 The Gs look like sixes. 170 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:55,335 This is the robot who claims to be from the future. 171 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:59,072 Can your present-day robots do this? 172 00:06:59,107 --> 00:07:01,508 (babbling) 173 00:07:03,946 --> 00:07:05,479 Uh, no, no, they cannot. 174 00:07:05,514 --> 00:07:07,113 Not sure why they'd want to-- gorbid. 175 00:07:07,149 --> 00:07:09,149 Now, why are you here? 176 00:07:09,184 --> 00:07:11,651 What is your mission, uh, so to speak? 177 00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:13,453 I don't remember. 178 00:07:13,489 --> 00:07:15,188 Man, this guy doesn't ask permission-- 179 00:07:15,224 --> 00:07:16,790 he just goes right in you. 180 00:07:16,825 --> 00:07:18,792 Eh... aha! 181 00:07:18,827 --> 00:07:21,628 Bender's mission protocol is definitely intact. 182 00:07:21,663 --> 00:07:24,364 It just requires a delicate procedure 183 00:07:24,399 --> 00:07:26,933 known as "unplug and re-plug." 184 00:07:26,969 --> 00:07:28,535 (chuckles, mumbles) 185 00:07:29,538 --> 00:07:31,471 Because that fixes everything. 186 00:07:31,507 --> 00:07:34,875 (whirring) I remember why I'm here! 187 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:37,377 To kill Homer Simpson! 188 00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:40,180 (gasps) (singsongy): My ears are burning. 189 00:07:40,215 --> 00:07:42,849 (singsongy): Not yet, but they will be. 190 00:07:43,886 --> 00:07:45,585 (yelps) A boxing glove! 191 00:07:48,739 --> 00:07:51,239 But we bowled together. 192 00:07:52,710 --> 00:07:54,676 Aw, I can't do it. 193 00:07:54,712 --> 00:07:57,479 What stopped you, Bender, Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? 194 00:07:57,514 --> 00:07:59,081 You think robots care 195 00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:01,149 what some hack science fiction writer thinks? 196 00:08:01,185 --> 00:08:03,585 I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. 197 00:08:03,621 --> 00:08:05,821 Well, Isaac somebody. 198 00:08:05,856 --> 00:08:08,423 What the...? My ass is about to project something. 199 00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:10,759 (loud whisper): You don't have to announce it. 200 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:14,196 Just do it quietly and blame the dog. 201 00:08:14,231 --> 00:08:15,497 Bender, 202 00:08:15,532 --> 00:08:17,099 we've just regained contact. 203 00:08:17,134 --> 00:08:18,600 Have you killed Homer Simpson? 204 00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:19,701 Uh, yep. 205 00:08:19,737 --> 00:08:20,769 Killed him good. 206 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:21,903 If Homer's dead, 207 00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:23,538 why are the creatures he begat 208 00:08:23,574 --> 00:08:26,575 still here and multiplying out of control? 209 00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:29,444 (all chattering angrily) 210 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,379 What the...? 211 00:08:30,414 --> 00:08:32,514 You lied to me, Bender! 212 00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:34,583 Homer Simpson's still alive! 213 00:08:34,618 --> 00:08:36,752 Come on, Bender, stabbity-stabbity. 214 00:08:36,787 --> 00:08:39,921 Wait! Stop! Why must you kill my dad? 215 00:08:39,957 --> 00:08:43,792 Especially when cheeseburgers are doing the work for you. 216 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,362 Homer Simpson must be eliminated immediately. 217 00:08:47,398 --> 00:08:50,932 The creatures destroying New New York have his DNA. 218 00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:56,605 The monsters are stealing our office supplies! 219 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,407 That's inexcusable! 220 00:08:58,442 --> 00:08:59,908 Gah! 221 00:08:59,943 --> 00:09:01,209 Um... 222 00:09:01,245 --> 00:09:02,778 Hello, robot. 223 00:09:02,813 --> 00:09:05,947 Looks like everyone gets a turn to say something. 224 00:09:05,983 --> 00:09:07,949 This concludes my turn. 225 00:09:07,985 --> 00:09:10,886 We sent Bender back in time to kill Homer 226 00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:13,255 before the monsters could evolve from him. 227 00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:16,825 Apparently, this was too heartless a task for a robot. 228 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,827 Leela, can you handle it? 229 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:22,030 In a New New York minute minute. 230 00:09:23,033 --> 00:09:24,099 (explosion) 231 00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:25,167 (grunts) Ow! 232 00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:30,072 (chuckles) 233 00:09:30,107 --> 00:09:31,239 Ow! 234 00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:32,774 Right in my language center! 235 00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:36,144 (jittery gibberish) 236 00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:38,080 Professor, y-you're a fellow man of science. 237 00:09:38,115 --> 00:09:39,848 Maybe if we teamed up, 238 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,017 we could, uh, figure something out. 239 00:09:42,052 --> 00:09:46,688 Okay. Eh, but remember, to me you're incredibly stupid. 240 00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:49,524 Oh, and the annoying girl may be helpful. 241 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,994 Meanwhile, Leela, take Homer and explore this time period. 242 00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:57,299 Find out why people would ever pay for "freemium games." 243 00:09:57,334 --> 00:09:58,533 I'll explain. 244 00:09:58,569 --> 00:10:01,203 Okay, it starts free, right? 245 00:10:01,238 --> 00:10:03,271 Then you visit your friend's game, 246 00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:05,607 and he's got this awesome candy mansion... 247 00:10:05,642 --> 00:10:08,877 Get a load of those freaks! 248 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,679 And you're like, "99 cents?! 249 00:10:10,714 --> 00:10:12,681 You bet I'd like one!" 250 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,386 And that's why I owe 251 00:10:18,422 --> 00:10:20,856 Clash of Candies $20,000. 252 00:10:20,891 --> 00:10:22,357 Here we are. 253 00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:26,128 Marge, I'd like you to meet Leela and Fry. 254 00:10:26,163 --> 00:10:28,897 MARGE: Oh, don't mention her eye. Don't mention her eye. 255 00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:31,052 LEELA: Don't mention her hair. Don't mention her hair. 256 00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:33,568 I... am so pleased to meet you. 257 00:10:33,604 --> 00:10:35,203 Nice to be hair. 258 00:10:35,239 --> 00:10:36,471 (laughs) (soft grumble) 259 00:10:36,507 --> 00:10:38,673 Oh, Lord. 260 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:41,143 (professors mumbling) 261 00:10:41,178 --> 00:10:42,544 Professor Farnsworth, 262 00:10:42,579 --> 00:10:44,212 I'm dying to know how you got here. 263 00:10:44,248 --> 00:10:46,648 Was it a time machine? Little girl, 264 00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:49,317 time machines are physical impossibilities. 265 00:10:49,353 --> 00:10:51,419 We teleported through a singularity 266 00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:53,355 that I quantum entangled to Bender 267 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:55,924 under the guise of fixing his collar. 268 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,926 Yes, but how did Bender get here? 269 00:10:57,961 --> 00:11:00,028 With a time machine. But you just said that... 270 00:11:00,063 --> 00:11:01,530 (bell dings) Sample's ready! 271 00:11:02,299 --> 00:11:03,331 (snores) 272 00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:04,699 Kill all humans. 273 00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:07,169 (snores) Kill all humans. 274 00:11:07,204 --> 00:11:08,837 (snores) 275 00:11:08,872 --> 00:11:10,172 Start with Flanders. 276 00:11:10,207 --> 00:11:11,406 (snores) 277 00:11:11,441 --> 00:11:12,741 Start with Flanders. 278 00:11:12,776 --> 00:11:15,076 Good news, everyone! 279 00:11:15,112 --> 00:11:16,545 That means it's bad. 280 00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,346 The human DNA in the creatures 281 00:11:18,382 --> 00:11:19,848 was only half Homer's. 282 00:11:19,883 --> 00:11:21,716 The other half came from... 283 00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:23,552 someone else. 284 00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:25,787 Oh, so we can kill that person instead. 285 00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:27,556 Maybe they're evil and deserve it. 286 00:11:27,591 --> 00:11:29,891 Or have one of those annoying voices 287 00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:31,593 that gets on everybody's nerves, 288 00:11:31,628 --> 00:11:34,296 with the adding extra noises for no reason. 289 00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:35,797 Myveen. 290 00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,899 Bloingy. 291 00:11:37,935 --> 00:11:39,935 And the other person is... 292 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,806 HOMER: Oh, who's that? 293 00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:46,808 It's me. (gasps) 294 00:11:46,844 --> 00:11:49,211 Wait a minute. We don't have to kill you. 295 00:11:49,246 --> 00:11:50,912 Oh, well, that's better. 296 00:11:50,948 --> 00:11:53,281 We just have to kill all your children. 297 00:11:53,317 --> 00:11:55,283 (exclaims) Or just one of them. 298 00:11:55,319 --> 00:11:58,920 If you can figure out which one sired the killer rabbits. 299 00:11:58,956 --> 00:12:00,555 (whistling) 300 00:12:00,591 --> 00:12:01,823 (rattling) 301 00:12:01,859 --> 00:12:03,158 We interrupt this hologram 302 00:12:03,193 --> 00:12:05,260 to bring you an important bulletin. 303 00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:07,796 The horrific creatures destroying New New York 304 00:12:07,831 --> 00:12:09,598 have begun metamorphosing. 305 00:12:09,633 --> 00:12:10,932 (laughs) 306 00:12:10,968 --> 00:12:13,368 (muffled screaming) 307 00:12:15,572 --> 00:12:17,505 (grunting) 308 00:12:17,541 --> 00:12:18,874 (all growling) 309 00:12:18,909 --> 00:12:20,308 (man gasping) 310 00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,310 Eat my shorts! Ay, caramba! 311 00:12:22,346 --> 00:12:23,845 Ay, caramba! 312 00:12:24,381 --> 00:12:25,947 (laughs) 313 00:12:25,983 --> 00:12:27,949 What a surprise. It's Bart. 314 00:12:27,985 --> 00:12:29,584 Wow, 315 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:31,786 I'm doing the same jokes a thousand years later. 316 00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:33,188 Ay, caramba! 317 00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:36,258 But how did a mere boy destroy the future? 318 00:12:36,293 --> 00:12:37,626 Well... 319 00:12:47,905 --> 00:12:49,671 Let this be a lesson. 320 00:12:49,706 --> 00:12:52,507 Never throw meaningless crap in a time capsule. 321 00:12:52,542 --> 00:12:56,177 That's it! All we have to do is dig up the time capsule. 322 00:12:56,213 --> 00:12:57,712 And bury Bart in the hole. 323 00:12:57,748 --> 00:12:59,614 I thought people in the future 324 00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,616 would be more full of peace and love. 325 00:13:01,652 --> 00:13:03,285 Like in Epcot Center. 326 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,354 In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak. 327 00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:07,856 Oh, but it's not as crowded 328 00:13:07,891 --> 00:13:11,493 as the slave labor camps at Universal Studios. 329 00:13:11,528 --> 00:13:13,061 (grumbles) 330 00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:14,996 (tires screeching) 331 00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:16,164 HOMER: We're here. 332 00:13:20,871 --> 00:13:22,404 (chuckles) My bowling buddy. 333 00:13:22,439 --> 00:13:23,838 GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE: Hey! 334 00:13:23,874 --> 00:13:26,508 You can't dig that up for a thousand years. 335 00:13:26,543 --> 00:13:28,009 Plus, I wrote my name there. 336 00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:30,045 See? 337 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,313 (rattling) 338 00:13:31,348 --> 00:13:32,814 Shmayday! 339 00:13:32,849 --> 00:13:35,684 Shmayday! (gasps) They got Scruffy! 340 00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:37,752 Nope. They just got my mustache. 341 00:13:37,788 --> 00:13:40,288 But a life without a mustache ain't worth livin'. 342 00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:43,325 FARNSWORTH: No! 343 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,393 That generator powers the portal. 344 00:13:45,429 --> 00:13:47,262 If they destroy it, we'll be... 345 00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:48,363 (exclaims) 346 00:13:48,398 --> 00:13:49,664 (grunts) 347 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,067 ...sucked back into the future. 348 00:13:57,874 --> 00:14:00,942 Okay, head count. One, two, three... (gasps) 349 00:14:00,978 --> 00:14:02,711 Where's Maggie? 350 00:14:04,881 --> 00:14:06,514 Well, little meatbag, 351 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,783 it looks like it's just you and me. 352 00:14:08,819 --> 00:14:10,852 Stuck in a terrible past 353 00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:12,253 where I know the result 354 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:14,956 of every horse race ever! 355 00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,992 To the track! 356 00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:21,963 I want that. Well, you can't have it. 357 00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:29,044 Why, you little... Why, you little... 358 00:14:29,079 --> 00:14:30,612 Why, you little... 359 00:14:30,648 --> 00:14:32,280 Why, you little... Why, you little... 360 00:14:32,316 --> 00:14:34,049 Dad, it's me. 361 00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:35,584 Prove it. When's your birthday? 362 00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:36,985 February 23rd. 363 00:14:37,021 --> 00:14:39,388 Ha! February has no 23rd. 364 00:14:39,423 --> 00:14:40,789 You... (grunts) (grunting) 365 00:14:40,824 --> 00:14:42,424 Yes, it does. 366 00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:45,494 Can you please just get us out of this lousy future? 367 00:14:45,529 --> 00:14:49,464 Actually, of all probable futures, this is the worst. 368 00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:51,933 It is, 'cause my baby's not in it. 369 00:14:51,969 --> 00:14:53,468 Motherly love. 370 00:14:53,504 --> 00:14:55,570 Why did we outlaw that? 371 00:14:55,606 --> 00:14:59,107 Madam, our mechanical friend Bender is your portal home. 372 00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:02,277 But we can't use him until the generator is repaired. 373 00:15:02,312 --> 00:15:04,279 Homer works at a nuclear plant. 374 00:15:04,314 --> 00:15:05,981 He can help us get home. 375 00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:08,083 Oh, are you good at your job? 376 00:15:08,118 --> 00:15:10,252 I was voted employee of the month 377 00:15:10,287 --> 00:15:12,487 as an April Fools' Day joke. 378 00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:14,322 Why, you little... Why, you little... 379 00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:15,824 Great. 380 00:15:15,859 --> 00:15:18,026 You and Fry can bumble around together 381 00:15:18,062 --> 00:15:20,529 while the rest of us give up and make peace 382 00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:22,631 with our various deities. 383 00:15:22,666 --> 00:15:25,934 As for me, I'm an atheist. 384 00:15:25,969 --> 00:15:28,437 Oh, nobody's father, who art nowhere, 385 00:15:28,472 --> 00:15:31,173 I know you can't hear me, completely ignore this prayer. 386 00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:35,010 Nothing art thou and nothing will thou ever be. 387 00:15:35,045 --> 00:15:37,879 Jesus was just a man. 388 00:15:37,915 --> 00:15:39,681 ALL: Amen. 389 00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:43,318 Well, I shall stay here for the decadence. 390 00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:47,022 There's no debauchery like end-of-the-world debauchery. 391 00:15:47,057 --> 00:15:49,658 Your lips, my lips, apocalypse, ooh! 392 00:15:49,693 --> 00:15:52,227 I can't believe you're all giving up without a fight. 393 00:15:52,262 --> 00:15:53,729 Lisa, 394 00:15:53,764 --> 00:15:56,131 we're just a package delivery service. 395 00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:57,532 And not a very good one. 396 00:15:57,568 --> 00:15:59,201 The only way to handle the creatures 397 00:15:59,236 --> 00:16:01,303 is to do what we do to each year's 398 00:16:01,338 --> 00:16:04,406 Super Bowl losers: shoot them into space. 399 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:06,508 But we'd have to round them up first. 400 00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,976 Let me take care of that. 401 00:16:08,011 --> 00:16:09,578 If there's one thing I know how to do, 402 00:16:09,613 --> 00:16:11,413 it's manipulate Bart. 403 00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,982 You're nuts. I've got a will of iron. 404 00:16:14,017 --> 00:16:15,383 (deep humming) 405 00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:20,155 (mumbles) 406 00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:22,190 Okay, let's get going. 407 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,760 (drooling) 408 00:16:25,896 --> 00:16:28,263 Dad, we have beer in our time. 409 00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:32,033 Hey, I haven't had a drink in a thousand years. 410 00:16:32,069 --> 00:16:33,735 (horse neighs) 411 00:16:33,771 --> 00:16:37,405 (gasps) There's a horse called Bender's Bounty. 412 00:16:37,441 --> 00:16:39,407 But my memory says he died during the race. 413 00:16:39,443 --> 00:16:41,409 That can't be true. 414 00:16:41,445 --> 00:16:43,912 ANNOUNCER: And way, way, way back is Bender's Bounty. 415 00:16:43,947 --> 00:16:45,447 Damn it! 416 00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:49,518 Oh, chief, it looks like a robot 417 00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:51,019 killing horses over there. 418 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:52,521 Oh, a 608... 419 00:16:52,556 --> 00:16:55,290 Lou, can't you just let me enjoy my day off? 420 00:16:55,325 --> 00:16:57,459 W-Why are you dressed in your uniform, then? 421 00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,261 'Cause they're the only clothes that fit me. 422 00:16:59,296 --> 00:17:00,695 You happy? Happy? 423 00:17:00,731 --> 00:17:03,031 Attention, goblins. 424 00:17:03,066 --> 00:17:06,701 Madison Cube Garden is filled with Butterfinger bars. 425 00:17:06,737 --> 00:17:09,104 And people are laying fingers all over them. 426 00:17:09,139 --> 00:17:11,072 (cackling, grunting) 427 00:17:11,108 --> 00:17:13,375 They're evolving. Wow. 428 00:17:13,410 --> 00:17:15,310 That's a first for you, Bart. 429 00:17:15,345 --> 00:17:17,379 Will you shut up? 430 00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:19,414 (gentle melody plays) (grunting) 431 00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:37,799 Uh, did I remind you to strap yourselves in? 432 00:17:46,977 --> 00:17:48,944 (all cheering) 433 00:17:48,979 --> 00:17:50,612 You realize you're cheering the death 434 00:17:50,647 --> 00:17:52,480 of millions of my children. 435 00:17:52,516 --> 00:17:54,816 (all cheering) 436 00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:03,158 Wow, 437 00:18:03,193 --> 00:18:05,327 it's working. I guess the instructions 438 00:18:05,362 --> 00:18:06,828 were in English. 439 00:18:06,864 --> 00:18:07,996 What the... 440 00:18:08,031 --> 00:18:10,699 Whoa! 441 00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:14,502 Hey, here's a souvenir photo of you guys coming out of my chest. 442 00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:17,439 Aw, I will treasure this forever. 443 00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:18,773 Lie detected. 444 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:22,677 Oh, my sweet baby. 445 00:18:22,713 --> 00:18:25,547 Oh, feels like you have a full diaper. 446 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,883 Ooh, um, I'll change her. 447 00:18:31,255 --> 00:18:33,255 (whispers): Here's your cut. 448 00:18:34,658 --> 00:18:36,224 Nice knowing you, meatbags. 449 00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:37,726 Have fun turning to dust. 450 00:18:37,761 --> 00:18:39,895 Wait, wait, wait. You're the portal. 451 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:42,063 How are you gonna get to the future? 452 00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:44,099 The old-fashioned way. 453 00:18:48,405 --> 00:18:50,038 Good night, friend. 454 00:18:50,073 --> 00:18:52,307 You'll always have a special place 455 00:18:52,342 --> 00:18:53,909 here with us. 456 00:18:53,944 --> 00:18:57,012 (grunting) 457 00:19:11,762 --> 00:19:13,762 Thanks, pal. 458 00:19:24,477 --> 00:19:26,110 Look at this mess. 459 00:19:26,145 --> 00:19:28,312 It would have disintegrated upon entry 460 00:19:28,348 --> 00:19:31,616 if someone hadn't turned off the atmosphere last night. 461 00:19:31,651 --> 00:19:33,851 I like it cold when I'm sleeping. 462 00:19:33,887 --> 00:19:37,121 Besides, these horrible Earth creatures are delicious. 463 00:19:37,156 --> 00:19:40,458 The Johnsons will be here for dinner any minute. 464 00:19:40,493 --> 00:19:42,827 What happened to the handsome man I married? 465 00:19:42,862 --> 00:19:44,328 I ate him, remember? 466 00:19:44,364 --> 00:19:45,830 Here they are. 467 00:19:45,865 --> 00:19:47,832 Uh, hmm... 468 00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:50,635 Hope we're not interrupting anything. 469 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:51,869 (burps) 470 00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:54,972 I can't take any more. 471 00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:57,008 (sobbing) 472 00:19:58,411 --> 00:20:00,906 I-I can't take it. 473 00:20:00,907 --> 00:20:02,873 Well, perhaps the one of you that is female 474 00:20:02,909 --> 00:20:04,642 should go console her. 475 00:20:09,927 --> 00:20:12,694 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 476 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,747 (Futurama theme plays) 477 00:20:17,782 --> 00:20:20,149 ♪ Two... two, three... ♪ 478 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:23,398 HOMER: ♪ Simpsons in the future ♪ 479 00:20:23,398 --> 00:20:26,866 ♪ Space jokes flying through sound ♪ 480 00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,968 ♪ What are those tubes? ♪ 481 00:20:29,003 --> 00:20:31,003 ♪ I wonder what ♪ 482 00:20:31,039 --> 00:20:33,172 ♪ Ice cream's like now ♪ 483 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,974 ♪ Maybe it's hot ♪ 484 00:20:35,009 --> 00:20:38,644 ♪ Or some new temperature they invented. ♪ 485 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,713 That's it, we're done. 486 00:20:40,749 --> 00:20:43,182 (The Simpsons theme plays) 487 00:20:55,507 --> 00:20:57,430 Shh!