1
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:06,256
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,306
There you are.

3
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,020
Wait a minute.

4
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:36,661
Come and get me, you
syrupy stack of man-cakes.

5
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,420
It's too much work.

6
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,172
Why don't you come
and get me?

7
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,098
Jeez Louise,
are you okay?

8
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,808
Just give me a minute.

9
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,311
Uh, but feel free
to go nuts on me.

10
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,277
Oh, boy, dinner time!

11
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,655
The perfect break
between work and drunk.

12
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,242
Wait. What's that smell?

13
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:20,747
It's like a stalk of broccoli
fell in a pot of boiling water.

14
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,459
It's your new diet!

15
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,378
But I have all those old diets
I still haven't finished.

16
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,715
Your lack of bedroom pizzazz
last night started me worrying,

17
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,510
so I hired this nutritionist,
Betsy Bidwell.

18
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,888
Homer, did you know I
used to weigh 400 pounds?

19
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,390
I'll bet no man
would touch you.

20
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,643
Well, I went from
fat to "all that"

21
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,645
using my simple,
foolproof diet.

22
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,106
It's all about little
substitutions.

23
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,690
Instead of French
toast for breakfast,

24
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,150
why not eat
a bell pepper?

25
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,485
When you crave
something sugary,

26
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,986
eat a bell pepper.

27
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,738
Want a beer?
Bell pepper!

28
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,744
It's tangy like a pepper,
but crunchy like a bell!

29
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:00,954
Bell pepper!

30
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,413
Hot dogs!

31
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,706
Get your hot dogs.

32
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,084
One, please.

33
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:10,046
Bell peppers... piping cold,
crunchy and bland.

34
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,297
Three, please.

35
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,700
Not quite.

36
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,952
Yeah. Get out.

37
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,710
You've gained
seven pounds!

38
00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,129
Well, they say muscle
weighs more than fat.

39
00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,423
Homer, your body
is all fat.

40
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,134
Homie, have you been
cheating on your diet?!

41
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,719
What?!

42
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,722
I'm not even gonna
dignify that with eye contact.

43
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,568
What you doin',
Mom, goin' crazy?

44
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,195
Searching for evidence.

45
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,322
I know your father's cheating
on his diet.

46
00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,240
Hey, Marge, looking
for something?

47
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,159
I'm looking
for something, too...

48
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,785
A bell pepper
I don't like.

49
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,787
Maybe it'll be
this one.

50
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,459
Wrong again.

51
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,589
See that fat lady
with the moustache?

52
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,882
That's you.

53
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,425
See that hippo
rolling in dung?

54
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:38,718
You're the dung.

55
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,095
Now, that's enough.
You each got one in.

56
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,514
Oh, but hers
was better!

57
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,309
Meet Jennifer.

58
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,228
She's worried
her acupuncturist boyfriend

59
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,480
is sticking it
to someone else.

60
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,815
He used to be so loving.

61
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,026
Now he says
he's always working late,

62
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,029
but when he comes home,
his needles aren't even bloody!

63
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:01,366
I've tried everything
except talking to him.

64
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,326
Help me, TV show!

65
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,370
We'll find out
if Jennifer's boyfriend

66
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,372
has been fooling around

67
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,748
on Sneakers.

68
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,125
If you suspect a loved one
of cheating on you,

69
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,710
call the Sneakers hotline.

70
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,979
Also call
if you don't suspect.

71
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:14,879
Most cheating happens

72
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,673
when you think
everything is just great.

73
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:21,094
Hmm. Could this show help me
with eating cheating?

74
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,053
Out of the
house, kids!

75
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,930
I have to make an
adult phone call.

76
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,139
Oh, man,
not again...

77
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,557
How would you...?
Come on.

78
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:27,850
Go, go, go, go, go!

79
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,232
Hey, I didn't know
this park was here.

80
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,484
You wrote a report
on it last week.

81
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,652
The Internet wrote it.

82
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:40,738
I just handed it in.

83
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,657
Whoa,
check that out!

84
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,993
Cool! The strong
kicking the weak's butt.

85
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,620
It's disgusting!

86
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,748
Now you two play nice!

87
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,881
This is my husband.

88
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,258
I think he's been.

89
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,968
Sneakering
on his diet.

90
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,304
I didn't used to mind it

91
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,015
when he'd lock the
bathroom door and snack off,

92
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,017
but when he's getting it
regular,

93
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,768
night after night
after night...

94
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,771
There, there.

95
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,149
I'm sorry
I'm so emotional.

96
00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,651
No, I mean, cry
to the camera over there.

97
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,861
There.

98
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,780
Yeah!

99
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,076
Hey, Martin,
what are you doing?

100
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,537
Excavating for
arrowheads!

101
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,598
Dude, it's Saturday. What
kind of a freak wastes his...?

102
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:32,999
May I join you?

103
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,792
Care to make it
a trio, Bart?

104
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,461
You can brush,
and I can blow!

105
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,504
Well, I agree you blow.

106
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,922
Then it's a plan.

107
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,800
A lot of people blow,
but no one blows like you.

108
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,510
High praise indeed!

109
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,511
When you look up blow
in the dictionary...

110
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,139
- Bart, he's not gonna get it!
- Fine.

111
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,401
The bone's the very
thing, methinks,

112
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,695
to prank my sister
and the dink.

113
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,285
Martin, I've made
a major discovery!

114
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,665
A bone?!

115
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,043
It could be one
of the major homos!

116
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,419
You're one of
the major...

117
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,004
Forget it.

118
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,768
- Martin!
- Oh, my God!

119
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,522
Grab onto this!

120
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,067
Come on, wake up!

121
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,077
Bart!

122
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,079
You can't just run
away from this!

123
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,540
You're right.

124
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,291
I can bike away much faster,

125
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,460
and ring the bell
to drown out bad thoughts!

126
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,630
But Bart...

127
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,932
Bart, Martin could be
seriously hurt, or worse.

128
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,642
You're right.
We have to do something.

129
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,687
Let's watch TV!

130
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,023
Happy, happy safe at home.

131
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,316
Happy, happy...

132
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,609
We interrupt.

133
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:24,944
Kaptain
Kiddy's Komfort Karnival

134
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,779
to report on
a grisly incident

135
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,906
involving a small child,
who has apparently

136
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,784
plunged off a guardrail here
at Springfield National Park.

137
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,704
According to this pocket
protector, the victim's name is.

138
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,247
Martin Prince.

139
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,750
Sadly, his pocket was protected,
but nothing else.

140
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,336
And we know exactly
who is to blame.

141
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,464
No one.

142
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,827
The boy clearly fell
by accident.

143
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,842
He crashed through

144
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:48,968
the tree canopy there,

145
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,762
and was presumably eaten
by this cougar,

146
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:55,057
who is still coughing up
parts of the boy's clothes.

147
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,352
Tragic, just tragic.

148
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,830
You think this would fit
little Ralphy?

149
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,023
Chief, that's evidence.

150
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,775
I know, but after it's evidence,
it's a shirt again, isn't it?

151
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,403
So Chief, what's your final word
on the Prince boy?

152
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,404
Hmm? Oh, dead.

153
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,655
Definitely dead.

154
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,657
Uh, Chief, aren't
we supposed to, uh,

155
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,159
notify the
family first?

156
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,203
What do you think
I'm doing right now?

157
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,706
Happy, happy,
safe at home.

158
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:19,582
Oh, my God!

159
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,665
We're murderers!

160
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,460
Hey, I was trying
to help him.

161
00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,712
At worst,
I'm an accomplice.

162
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,256
I'm an accomplice!

163
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,058
Bookmobile.

164
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,477
Got any Joyce Carol Oates?

165
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,020
Nope. It's all
Danielle Steel.

166
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,733
I've been in trouble,
but never like this.

167
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,610
Guess I'll go
turn myself in.

168
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,742
Uh, let's think
about this.

169
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,370
Martin's gone,
but it was an accident.

170
00:08:57,453 --> 00:09:00,122
Ruining our lives
won't bring him back.

171
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,500
Lisa! You're saying we
shouldn't tell the truth?!

172
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,211
I'm saying this is worse
than a million A minuses!

173
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,963
So, how was
your outside time?

174
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,215
We were never outside.
We were here all day.

175
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,592
That quick talking
is never a good sign.

176
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,803
That's usually true,
but in this case, it's not.

177
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,306
Hmm. The kids are acting
awfully strange.

178
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,892
Maybe I should sit down
with them and...

179
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,352
Homer,
where are you going?!

180
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,687
Work.

181
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,189
It's 4:00 o'clock
on a Saturday.

182
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,692
I, uh, have to
count the atoms

183
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:28,985
at the nuclear plant.

184
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,403
Conservation of mass.

185
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,612
It's the law.

186
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,869
The load is on the road.

187
00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,417
This episode's
gonna be great.

188
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,211
It'll finally win me
the respect of my father,

189
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,297
the Reverend Billy Graham,
Junior.

190
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,982
Martin Prince was known
by many names...

191
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,860
Martin Priss, Martin Princess,
Fartin' Prince,

192
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,486
Martin the Brown-Nosed
Reindeer...

193
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,779
That was mine.

194
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,073
Martin was a shy,
awkward child

195
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,075
who will never
fulfill his promise

196
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,369
to become a weird,
unloved adult.

197
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,830
The Audio-Visual Club
has prepared a video tribute

198
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,665
to their fallen associate.

199
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:39,722
I will remember you.

200
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,894
Will you remember me?

201
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,067
Don't let your life
pass you by.

202
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,570
Jimbo, stop that.

203
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,365
Usually when I do
something bad, I feel good.

204
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,699
But not this time.

205
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,410
Martin was like Jesus,
only real.

206
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,372
Bart, keep it
together.

207
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,082
People are looking.

208
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,165
I'm filled
with rue.

209
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,919
You know,
something bugs me.

210
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,129
Martin was afraid of heights.

211
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,589
What's he doing on a cliff?

212
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,924
It don't add up.

213
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,926
Hey,
look who's trying to add.

214
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,052
You wuss.

215
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,441
The pig is in the sty.

216
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,361
You know, I used
to make documentaries

217
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,822
about coal miners,
migrant workers,

218
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:38,823
things that mattered.

219
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:39,782
Yeah, yeah,
we're all whores.

220
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,076
Just get in there.

221
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:57,591
Into your hands,
I commend this crap.

222
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,690
Well, enough burning ants.

223
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,150
Time to investigate.

224
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,961
I now declare you
chips and salsa.

225
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,135
Oh, hey, kids.

226
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,887
Um... what's up?

227
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:43,888
What do you mean
"what's up"?

228
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,306
Why would something
be up?

229
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,450
Yeah, nothing's up,
nothing's down,

230
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,933
except for Martin,
who died.

231
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,435
Idiot!

232
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,566
Well, I certainly wasn't
eating chips and salsa

233
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,026
from this briefcase.

234
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,027
- What's up?
- Nothing.

235
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,110
- Nothing.
- Nothing.

236
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,272
Mmm, lamb.

237
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,604
Uh, I've never said this
before,

238
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,338
but turn the camera off.

239
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,344
Hey, you little murderer.

240
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,804
What?!

241
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,681
Those shades are killing
me, they're so cute.

242
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,687
Act like
you're shopping.

243
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,438
We can't be
seen together.

244
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,642
But we're brother
and sister.

245
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,066
Exactly.

246
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,442
Give me
an Indian burn.

247
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,246
- But...
- Don't make me say "Indian" again.

248
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,198
Afternoon.

249
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,033
Doing a little shopping, huh?

250
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,703
Shopping at the Kwik-E-Mart.

251
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,997
I like how "Kwik"
is spelled with a "K."

252
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,957
It's a quicker way
of spelling "quick."

253
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,792
Well, you're busy people.

254
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,586
I'll let you get on
with your day.

255
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,964
Oh, there is
one other thing.

256
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,508
I was up
in Springfield National Park.

257
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,468
You know,
where Martin bit the big one?

258
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,346
Found this bone tied
to a string.

259
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,975
Almost like someone
was playing a prank on him.

260
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,102
You like pranks,
don't you, dingus?

261
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,770
I... like pranks.

262
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,981
Everyone likes pranks,
e-even Dr. Hibbert.

263
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,316
I hate pranks.

264
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,984
Well, I'd better
get going.

265
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,028
The missus is cooking
meatloaf tonight.

266
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,280
My mom... Mrs. Muntz.

267
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:11,952
Bart, I have a plan.

268
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,663
We go to the morgue
and come back with a hand,

269
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,041
put its fingerprints
all over the railing...

270
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:19,960
Why are you being
so quiet, Bart?

271
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,295
Are you judging me?

272
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,088
Please don't judge me.

273
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:27,009
"I can't live with the guilt.

274
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,928
I'm going to Martin's house

275
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,554
to end it all"?!

276
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,227
Come on, pick up, pick up,
I know you're there.

277
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,441
Listen, baby,
the other night was great,

278
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,734
but it can never happen again.

279
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:44,817
Oh, who am I kidding?

280
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,980
I have to see you right now.

281
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,460
Bart, no, don't do...

282
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:04,046
whatever the heck
you're doing.

283
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,632
I'm tending to Martin's
butterfly enclosure.

284
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,426
His butterflies are emerging
from their chrysalises tonight.

285
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,428
You said you wanted
to end it all.

286
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,013
By which I meant

287
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,057
bring Martin's butterfly
project to completion.

288
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,266
I can't take it anymore.

289
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,476
The stress is killing me.

290
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,395
I'm on a freight train
to Crazy Town.

291
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,689
- Calm down.
- You calm down!

292
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,316
What was that?

293
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,281
The butterflies
are hatching.

294
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,200
Aren't they beautiful?

295
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,202
Greetings, my friends.

296
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:38,497
This beguiling lute solo

297
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,125
will ease your metamorphoses.

298
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,338
Oh, it's a tape.

299
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,923
Martin must have set it
to go off

300
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,009
when the chrysalises
hatched.

301
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,928
Now, if I may mimic
your mother's feeding call...

302
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,807
Clawdy-claw,
clickety-cloo, clawdy-claw...

303
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:57,890
Thank you.

304
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,228
I thought I turned

305
00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,355
that tape off.

306
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,858
Maybe you just put
it on auto-reverse.

307
00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,153
"Congratulations
on purchasing the Sanyo DL30,

308
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,196
the finest non-reversing
tape player"...

309
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,957
Here you go, hon...
One Butterscotch Stallion.

310
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,460
Homer Jay Simpson!

311
00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,420
Pudding power, activate!

312
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,505
Oh, no, you don't.

313
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,007
Let him have it,
Marge.

314
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,176
Sweetheart, I didn't want
to deceive you.

315
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,386
I just couldn't stand
to see the disappointment

316
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,680
in your beautiful eyes.

317
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,309
That's it, Marge.

318
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,392
Slap him good.

319
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,812
Zack, you're not trying

320
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,272
to help our marriage.

321
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,232
You're trying
to split us up.

322
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,111
I'd rather have a chubby
hubby than a sexy exy.

323
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,655
Aw, Marge,
if there was a reality show

324
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,658
called Fat Guys
Who Really Love Their Wives,

325
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,703
not only would it be
an enormous ratings success,

326
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,705
but I'd be
the first one on it.

327
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,000
Marge,

328
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,603
you've given me a lot
to think about today.

329
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,212
Now, if you'll excuse me,

330
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,506
I'm going to the editing room
to make you look insane.

331
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,342
To the post-production
trailer!

332
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,060
Where is this music coming from?

333
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,361
Get off me!

334
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,951
His foot is caught
in my button hole.

335
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,452
I almost flicked

336
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,870
an innocent butterfly.

337
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,706
Bart, we're turning
into monsters.

338
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,707
Cool.

339
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,501
No, not cool.

340
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,420
We have to do the right
thing and come clean.

341
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:54,341
Listen, world, we
killed Martin Prince!

342
00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,718
That's all I needed to hear.

343
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,011
You almost got away with it,

344
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,556
but here's
where you got sloppy:

345
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,474
Shouting out
that you did it.

346
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,102
Oh, man, I'm too pretty
to go to jail.

347
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,520
You don't know
how lucky you are.

348
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,568
I'm just glad it was you
who brought us in, Nelson.

349
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,361
Remember
when we used to date?

350
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,989
If you let me go, we
can get back together.

351
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,408
I never let you cherry-
bomb my Malibu Stacy.

352
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,659
I'll let you do it now.

353
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:21,910
Save it for the warden.

354
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,203
Please,

355
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,372
keep it down
around the newborns.

356
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,332
To quote Mark Twain,

357
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:31,128
"rumors of my death
have been greatly exaggerated."

358
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,338
Yeah, and rumors
of your wussiness

359
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,840
are a hundred percent true.

360
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,717
Now tell us
how you survived the fall.

361
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,010
For years
I've worn underwear

362
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,512
with a wedgie-accommodating
waistband.

363
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,181
On that fateful day,

364
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,726
these mighty whiteys
saved my life.

365
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,815
Malheureusement, I landed

366
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,484
right next
to a cougar's lair.

367
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,236
He saw me as easy prey.

368
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,531
I feared death
was a certainty

369
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,201
until I was saved
by simple physics.

370
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,541
I landed on a small isle
in the middle of a murky lake.

371
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,336
I spent an hour
fashioning an escape raft

372
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,589
and three days crafting
this modesty skirt.

373
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,929
Well, it's good to have
you alive, Dorkburger,

374
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,598
and as for you two, I hope
you learned your lesson.

375
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,975
I learned that beneath
my goody two-shoes

376
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,561
lie some very dark socks.

377
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,480
And I learned
that killing a nerd

378
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:32,981
is not as fun as it sounds.

379
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,487
There is
just one more thing.

380
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,239
You folks
have a good night now.

381
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,392
Captioned by VISUAL DATA.

382
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,483
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