1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:06,464
The Simpsons.

2
00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:35,160
Why do we have to
get here so early?

3
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:36,883
The football game
doesn't start for hours.

4
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:40,081
We're not here for the game.

5
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,291
The game is nothing.

6
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,459
The game is crap.

7
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,419
The game makes me sick!

8
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:47,380
The real reason we Americans
put up with sports is for this:

9
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,841
Behold the tailgate party,

10
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,843
the pinnacle
of human achievement!

11
00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:53,720
Since the dawn of parking lots,

12
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:56,848
man has sought to stuff his guts
with food and alcohol

13
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,684
in anticipation
of watching others exercise.

14
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:02,103
What childbirth is to women,

15
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:05,523
eating trunk meats
is to the bewanged.

16
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,738
What could be greater than
eating and drinking for hours

17
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,364
in a drizzly parking lot?

18
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,699
Anything.

19
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,076
No. Everything
is better.

20
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,243
- Anything!
- Everything!

21
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,244
- Everything!
- Anything!

22
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,662
- Anything!
- Everything!

23
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,415
- Everything!
- Anything!

24
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,417
Daddy, I made
a Ralphwich!

25
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:28,129
Aw! It tastes hurty!

26
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:31,758
That's 'cause
it's not food, Ralphie.

27
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,843
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
It's food. It's food.

28
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,804
Everything's
what you say it is.

29
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:40,058
All right.

30
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,017
Time to dig in.

31
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,268
I brought everything we need.

32
00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,104
It's just forks and plates.

33
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,647
Didn't we bring any food?

34
00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,607
The food is all around us!

35
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:49,150
You brought us here to beg?

36
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,485
Up-bup-bup-bup-bup!

37
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,487
When you know the people
you're begging from,

38
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,114
it's mooching.

39
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:58,785
Moleman! Come here,
ya big bag o' skin!

40
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,162
How the hell
are ya, huh?

41
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,251
No kidding!

42
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,378
Well, that sounds like
you're going to have fun.

43
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,133
Springfield U sucks!

44
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:16,719
A&M cheerleaders are clumsy!

45
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,390
Your superstar professors treat
undergrads like an afterthought!

46
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,768
Your tenure track
is heavily politicized!

47
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,395
Oh, that's it!

48
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,858
Lisa, honey, just
because you're a girl

49
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,734
doesn't mean you can't
join in the fun.

50
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,779
Maggie and I are washing
the soiled foam fingers.

51
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,702
Well, I guess I could cut loose
and do a little homework.

52
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,746
I can start working
on my school video project.

53
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,666
The assignment is to film
the beauty of the everyday.

54
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,749
So let's see.

55
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,694
There's drama and inspiration
everywhere I look.

56
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,075
I am a born filmmaker!

57
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,459
Really
interesting stuff.

58
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,336
Three points out
of a possible five.

59
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,173
Ah, that's a funny joke,
Mr. Kincaid.

60
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,634
Is this an art class
or a comedy class?

61
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,052
Seriously, why is it three?

62
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,261
I can make it a two.

63
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,679
Three it is!

64
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,599
You're the teacher,
and I accept your decision.

65
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,476
The man is an idiot!

66
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,977
Agreed.
The film has everything:

67
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,146
Emotion, conflict,
Milhouse.

68
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,482
Lisa, you're a gifted filmmaker.

69
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,235
It's as if Ingmar Bergman
and Penny Marshall had a baby.

70
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,363
Principal Skinner, I didn't know
you knew so much about film.

71
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,658
Cinema is my secret passion.

72
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,451
I've even written
a screenplay or two

73
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:06,079
on speculation.

74
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,372
When Edna Met Seymour,

75
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,455
Ghost Willie,

76
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,874
Killing Seymour's Mother,

77
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,459
The Principal
Who Sold a Screenplay.

78
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:12,627
They sound great.

79
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,462
I'd love to read them sometime.

80
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,714
Unfortunately, the studios
have made it clear

81
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,591
they're not interested
in my work.

82
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,218
In fact, I'm...
I'm no longer welcome

83
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,803
on the Universal
Studios tour.

84
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,388
Orlando or Hollywood?

85
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:25,390
There's one in Hollywood?!

86
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:27,141
Yeah, getting back
to my grade...

87
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,476
Forget grades!

88
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,621
With the right subject,
you could be a great filmmaker.

89
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,314
What comes to mind
when you think of drama?

90
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,483
Well, according to Aristotle,

91
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:37,318
drama contains six elements:

92
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,861
Plot, theme, character...

93
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,030
Not the smarty-pants answer.

94
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,532
Where's the drama in your life?

95
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,784
Okay, but can I just finish
the smarty-pants answer?

96
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,868
No! In your life!

97
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,078
My family!

98
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:48,496
Language, rhythm
and spectacle.

99
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,873
Family, eh? That's right!

100
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,792
Your brother is Bart Simpson,

101
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:55,003
one of Mrs. Krabappel's
fourth graders,

102
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:57,547
and your father is
a local character of note.

103
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,385
Lisa, if you make a documentary
about your family,

104
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:03,720
I can help you.

105
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,931
I'm giving you the key
to the AV cage.

106
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,521
This is so generous.

107
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,398
How can I ever repay you?

108
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:18,568
All I ask is,
if you ever win an Oscar...

109
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,694
give it to me.

110
00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:21,070
Um, okay.

111
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,242
Those cabinetmakers
laughed at me,

112
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,368
but they'll see.

113
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,623
Lisa, what
are you doing?

114
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:35,752
I'm making a documentary
about a very special family.

115
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,835
Smithers and Burns?

116
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,171
No. Us!

117
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,631
- Can I be Smithers?
- No, Dad, I want you to play.

118
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,716
Homer Simpson.

119
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,926
Why, 'cause I'm fat?

120
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,220
I love documentaries!

121
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:48,890
Especially the one
that came with our lawnmower.

122
00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:52,393
Although it was suspiciously
pro-lawnmower.

123
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,562
Okay, everyone,
just be yourself.

124
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:57,106
Don't look in the camera.
Pretend I'm not here and...

125
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,400
no toupees.

126
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,694
What, I'm going
for a Shia LaBeouf thing.

127
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,529
Not quite a nerd,
not quite a hunk...

128
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,739
Shia LaBeouf!

129
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,451
And let's roll.

130
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,704
Uh-oh, there's already
an on-set romance.

131
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:17,752
Homie, she's not
making a snuggle film.

132
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:21,089
Ew, Lisa,
make them stop!

133
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:24,092
I'm sorry, but as a filmmaker,
I have to face the truth.

134
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,552
I turn my camera on

135
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,639
I cut my fingers on the way.

136
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,683
On the way.

137
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,227
The way I'm slipping away

138
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,646
I turn my turn
my feelings off.

139
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:40,108
You made me untouchable
for life.

140
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,485
- Yeah.
- Yeah-hey.

141
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,569
And you wasn't polite.

142
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,783
It hit me like a tom.

143
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,579
You hit me like a tom.

144
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:59,085
No-no, no.

145
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:03,131
Oh, yeah.

146
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,510
Skinner!

147
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,886
Yes, Superintendent Chalmers?

148
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,763
I hear you've been encouraging

149
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,473
a student's creativity!

150
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:13,575
Please, sir, I can explain...

151
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,143
I'm thrilled!

152
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,104
Or would have been, if not
for your knee-jerk assumption

153
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,731
that I'm angry at you,
which I am now.

154
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,276
Anyway, we have got
to support Lisa Simpson's film.

155
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,319
This is our chance
to finally show up

156
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,989
that fancy Springfield Creative
Arts Academy.

157
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,995
The whole school
is made up of modeling clay.

158
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,747
Every afternoon, they reshape it
just to get my goat.

159
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,255
Well, with some school band
music and added effects,

160
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,191
we could show Lisa's film
at the public library.

161
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,259
Think bigger, Seymour.

162
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,927
Think film festivals.

163
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,012
You mean...

164
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,346
Banff?

165
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,764
Banff, Shmanff.

166
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,683
I'm talking about Sundance!

167
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,018
Sundance?!

168
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,896
The preeminent
independent film festival

169
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,398
held each January
in Park City, Utah?

170
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,442
Yes, the very same, yes.

171
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,278
If Lisa's movie gets in,
we won't just be the school

172
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,989
with the highest
hamster mortality rate.

173
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,199
Ah, so young.

174
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,576
We'll also have a kid
who did a thing.

175
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,415
I call this cue
"Homer's Lament."

176
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,926
What are you boys
doing on the Foley stage?

177
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,678
Awesome-ing up
your sound effects.

178
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,764
Okay, one more take.

179
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,642
Can we please
go to the next scene?

180
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,479
Oh, dear.

181
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,856
We're getting too many
mainstream movies.

182
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,525
When are we going
to see a submission

183
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,528
with the Sundance
independent film spirit?

184
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,863
"Paul Giamatti...

185
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,033
is the world's
greatest superspy...

186
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,451
who only exists

187
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,246
in the mind
of an overweight agoraphobic

188
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,957
- jazz musician...
- Oh!

189
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,167
Played by Martin Lawrence
in a fat suit."

190
00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:10,883
Oh, okay, here's one
from Springfield,

191
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,802
made by a vegetarian...

192
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,387
intellectual misfit...

193
00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,097
People, you know

194
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,933
you have to limit your gasps
at this altitude.

195
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,560
Oh, and she's eight years old!

196
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,284
Stupid charities.

197
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,119
They think I'm going
to give them money?

198
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:39,662
Save the Children?

199
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,122
Save your breath.

200
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,331
Take a hike, Sierra Club.

201
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,083
Doctors without Borders?

202
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,043
Doctors without money!

203
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,671
Hey, Greenpeace, you're
not getting a piece of my green.

204
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,339
Robert Redford? Guess what.

205
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,550
A scissor runs through it.

206
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:54,594
Dad, no!

207
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:59,181
My movie got in!

208
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,726
I'm going
to the Sundance Film Festival!

209
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,437
Film festival, eh?

210
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,653
Aye, los DVDs!

211
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,864
With director's commentary
and deleted scenes!

212
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,995
Where'd everybody go?

213
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,549
I can't believe
I'm a director

214
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,676
with a movie
at Sundance.

215
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,638
Maybe I can finally
meet Jim Jarmusch

216
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,389
and ask him
who he is.

217
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,266
Hey, that's him.

218
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,601
Who are you?

219
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,020
I try to answer that
question in my films.

220
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:47,438
What else?

221
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:49,565
I can eat a raw onion
without crying.

222
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,649
Prove it, Hollywood.

223
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,530
Hey, you're crying.

224
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,282
Yeah, but I'm crying
about something else.

225
00:10:58,366 --> 00:10:59,909
What?

226
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,620
This is the last time
we'll ever be together.

227
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,956
These badges

228
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,726
will get us into any
of the independent movies

229
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,959
playing at Sundance.

230
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,212
Ooh, Regularsville.

231
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,963
Sounds like my kind of place.

232
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,137
Oh, Candyland.

233
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,600
A great family game
is now a great family movie.

234
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:31,857
I get it.

235
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,486
Every title means the
opposite of what it means.

236
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:39,240
Then I bet I'll love
Chernobyl Graveyard.

237
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,828
I didn't.

238
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,416
This is it, my premiere!

239
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,668
We can't wait to see it,
sweetie.

240
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,212
Oh, a documentary?

241
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:56,799
Passes, please.

242
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:57,883
Uh, we're with them.

243
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:00,970
You know these guys?

244
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,514
I've never seen them before.

245
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,765
- Uh... we, uh...
- Um...

246
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,018
- He's...
- He's, uh, he's, uh...

247
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,102
Th-that's a joke.

248
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:17,737
This can't be real.

249
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,612
It isn't.

250
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,989
You crashed

251
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,491
and now you're lying unconscious
in a snowbank.

252
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,622
Chalmskinn.

253
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,253
I'm Lisa Simpson,
and this is my family.

254
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,176
One, two, three.

255
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,343
Another chute?!

256
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:49,101
Why... doesn't... life...
give me... ladders?!

257
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:52,646
We never get more than
one move into this game.

258
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,815
What a wonderful film
about horrible people.

259
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,567
They're like the family
from hell on acid

260
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,569
that's on steroids.

261
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,576
You stupid kid!

262
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,536
What if I walked
in here barefoot?

263
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,163
You did, Dad.

264
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,754
Happy birthday, Mom.

265
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,340
Thank you, dear.

266
00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,177
Brava, Lisa!

267
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,678
Shame on Marge!

268
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,138
Death to Maggie!

269
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,683
Lisa, how could you?

270
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,185
I didn't mean
it like that.

271
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:33,270
A lot of things got changed
in the editing room.

272
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,483
Proudly edited by Lisa Simpson.

273
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,908
Lisa, your movie exposed
our crappy side to the world.

274
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:50,120
I knew you were lame, but
I never imagined you were bogus.

275
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,749
Sweetie, I'm usually your
number one fan,

276
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,084
but... call me old-fashioned...

277
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,002
I usually don't like movies

278
00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,339
that humiliate my family
in front of the world.

279
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,174
Oh... I was just trying

280
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,719
to accurately portray
my unique and quirky home life.

281
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:06,554
Quirky?

282
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,723
Quirky is a grandma
who gives people the finger.

283
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,268
You made us look
like monsters.

284
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,394
Monsters!

285
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,230
Monsters!
Monsters!

286
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:19,066
Guys, guys, look,
it's a documentary.

287
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,528
Nobody outside of this festival
is ever going to hear about it.

288
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:26,240
"Lisa Simpson's unflinching,
darkly comic family portrait

289
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,617
is the can't-miss hit
of the festival.

290
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,537
Landspeeder, do not Bantha,
to your nearest cinema

291
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,080
to see Lisa Simpson
stab her family

292
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,624
in the back with her camera."

293
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,418
Don't you dare
post that review.

294
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:38,794
I'm sorry.
You're too late.

295
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:39,878
I have just hit "enter,"

296
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,089
sending the wi-fi beams
along their way.

297
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,052
Not if I can help it.
Come here, beams, come on.

298
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,551
Hey, hey, where
you going? Come...

299
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:46,634
Oh, there's too many.

300
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,265
I-I just said
I was thinking

301
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,975
of adopting
Scarlett Johansson.

302
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,269
I mean, is
that so wrong?

303
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:56,621
Well, if we can't get
into Sundance,

304
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,706
would you like to check out

305
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,732
its alternative cousin
Slamdance?

306
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,275
I'd rather die.

307
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:04,361
There they are: The producers
of Capturing the Simpsons.

308
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,738
Your movie's great.

309
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,365
We want to be
in the Chalmskinn business.

310
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,159
This is it, Seymour,
the big deal.

311
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,911
Just play it cool.

312
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,329
Look, we want
to buy this movie

313
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,289
and we're prepared
to offer you anything.

314
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,749
We're prepared
to accept anything.

315
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,751
Name your price.

316
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:21,086
We want ten percent
of the first-dollar gross,

317
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,005
full European
distribution rights,

318
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:26,842
and access to the most exclusive
VIP tent in Sundance.

319
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,473
Way to make a
deal, Seymour.

320
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,475
They don't even know
that my pockets are full

321
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:36,560
of bottled water
and cornbread.

322
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,939
Yes.

323
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,487
It's them.

324
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,197
Look at them
walking around.

325
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,324
Ugh, they're
so creepy.

326
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,617
Say something
dysfunctional!

327
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,386
Let me get a picture of
you strangling my kid.

328
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:55,287
No.

329
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,081
Hey, we pay your salary.

330
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,250
I never wanted

331
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,753
to be famous
for being mean.

332
00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:06,382
I wanted to be famous
for catching Santa Claus.

333
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,134
Let's just go back to the condo.

334
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,220
We have to wash the dishes
and do the sheets

335
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,888
so it's nice
for the next people.

336
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,474
I can't believe
what I've done.

337
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:17,267
Maybe deep down I always knew

338
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,103
how much this film
would hurt them.

339
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,397
Maybe I'm the monster
this movie exposed.

340
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,982
Now what kind
of talk is that?

341
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,360
Oh, hi,
Mr. Jarmusch.

342
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,463
Lisa, I've been following
your family's turmoil closely,

343
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,364
and I can relate.

344
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:33,492
My movies, like Stranger
than Paradise and Down by Law,

345
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,452
are also about social misfits

346
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,122
experiencing the dark side
of the American dream.

347
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:41,834
I'm doing it again in my next
film, Cheaper by the Dozen 3.

348
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,752
That doesn't sound
like your kind of movie.

349
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,380
It will be.
Check out the poster.

350
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:52,177
So, do you think my family
will ever forgive me

351
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:53,887
for making them
a laughingstock?

352
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,141
The answer to that is where
it always is... in a movie.

353
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,143
Let's take a look.

354
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,068
Nelson? He couldn't have made
a movie by himself.

355
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,653
Who helped him?

356
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,863
Chalmskinn.

357
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:14,366
Seymour Skinner never puts
all his eggs in one basket.

358
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:18,078
That's why they call me
"Two Basket" Skinner.

359
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,204
What? They do.

360
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,372
I'm Nelson.

361
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,790
This is my house.

362
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,125
This is the impound lot

363
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,502
that my house gets towed to
every night.

364
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,129
Let's get going.

365
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,523
We got to swing
by the Laundromat,

366
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,631
steal me a new bra.

367
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,942
You're going to be
the classiest girl

368
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,218
at Classy Girls.

369
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,560
No, no, no,
don't go in there.

370
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,228
Oh, no, he did.

371
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,481
Oh, man, that
is messed up.

372
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,316
Whoa, what the hell
is that?

373
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,901
It's just a cat.

374
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,194
What?

375
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:52,029
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah,
now I see it.

376
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,908
Mom, there's
this school play tonight.

377
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:58,118
It's called
Kids Are People Too,

378
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,120
and I play a grown-up

379
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,414
who doesn't think
kids are people, too.

380
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:05,042
So if you want
to come...

381
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:07,628
Can't. I'm organizing
my Laramie Bucks.

382
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,506
If I want that golf umbrella,
I got to get to smoking.

383
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,931
Sometimes
I take the long way home,

384
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:21,308
past the happy people's houses.

385
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,393
I like to look inside

386
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,980
and pretend I have a family
like theirs.

387
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,798
I like to cry at the ocean,

388
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,676
because only there
do my tears seem small.

389
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,235
Thank you, Mr. Jarmusch.

390
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,154
You have taught me
a valuable lesson,

391
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:18,532
that other people have bigger
family problems than I do.

392
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:21,702
True, but I was also teaching
you that festival buzz is,

393
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,580
like my movie Coffee and
Cigarettes, a funny thing.

394
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,581
Did you see it?

395
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,374
Well, I, uh...

396
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:28,876
That's okay.
I know you did.

397
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,961
I like this movie
way better

398
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,462
than the one
by that little girl

399
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,132
'cause I saw
this one today.

400
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,009
Wow, I guess
Nelson's the hot thing now.

401
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,387
My movie will probably
never be seen.

402
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,471
Oh, it will...

403
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,682
On select flights
by Alaska Airlines

404
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,559
and its regional partners.

405
00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:48,145
Okay,
only its regional partners.

406
00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:51,190
The point is, you made a great
movie and you ought to be proud.

407
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,984
And now, like the best
independent films,

408
00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:57,696
I must fade out
with a cool dissolve.

409
00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,907
Ow, that hurts.

410
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,247
Hey, Nelson, say
something poor.

411
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,462
Oh, thank God they're not
jeering at us anymore.

412
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:14,463
I know.

413
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,464
Kind of miss it.

414
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,466
I know!

415
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,844
We'll be in another movie, and
this time we'll act really bad.

416
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,763
No more
Simpsons movies.

417
00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:24,139
One was plenty.

418
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,350
Are you guys
still mad at me?

419
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,393
We know you love us,
honey,

420
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,355
even though sometimes
you show it in a "quirky" way.

421
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,528
I'm not going
to lie to you guys.

422
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,406
John C. Reilly would love to be
in the Chalmskinn business.

423
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,991
Well, did you read
my script?

424
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,201
Read it?
I lived it.

425
00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:45,410
I am Ghost Willie.

426
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,494
Check this out.

427
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,125
Fantastic.

428
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,252
Gre... oh, bravo.

429
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,505
You nailed it.

430
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:59,258
I don't know. He, he
seems a little needy.

431
00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,259
Pass.

432
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,343
We'll see you on the set.

433
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,095
Yes!

434
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:11,937
Chalmskinn.

435
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,648
Another hit.

436
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:15,524
Skinner!

437
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,193
Why can't you be
a gentle clinker?

438
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:48,307
Captioned by VISUAL DATA.

439
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,564
Enhanced by Fotokem