1 00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,061 (gulping) 2 00:00:04,063 --> 00:00:08,841 -(screaming) -♪ Somewhere up there ♪ 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,069 ♪ Beyond the blue ♪ 4 00:00:12,071 --> 00:00:14,162 ♪ There's love ♪ 5 00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:16,331 ♪ For me ♪ 6 00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:19,667 -♪ And you. ♪ -HOMER: Ah...! 7 00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:21,411 (screams, whimpers) 8 00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:23,397 -(rapid instrumental) -(all vocalizing dizzily) 9 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,278 (all yelling) 10 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,582 (screaming) 11 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,711 (song stops) 12 00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:51,592 (belches loudly) 13 00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:54,678 ♪ 14 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,043 ♪ 15 00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:05,064 WIFE: Oh, my gosh! It's what you thought I always wanted! 16 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,566 I do like when you have a regimen. 17 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,126 Oh. 18 00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:11,628 I can feel myself getting hotter than the other moms. 19 00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:14,323 And my husband can increase the incline from the app. 20 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,819 (cackling) 21 00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:20,913 I've never been happier. 22 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,307 I'm back to my sixth-grade weight! 23 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:25,084 ANNOUNCER: Pedalon. Because a great marriage 24 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,993 is a bike that goes nowhere. 25 00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:29,663 -(grunting) -(grunting) Why, you... 26 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:31,331 You know, Homie, 27 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,742 an exercise bike would be good for someone like me 28 00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,411 who can barely leave the house. 29 00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:38,580 And my birthday's coming up. 30 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:41,007 An exercise bike? Why would you want that, 31 00:01:41,009 --> 00:01:43,251 instead of getting locked into a gym membership 32 00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:45,162 you could never use and can't cancel? 33 00:01:45,164 --> 00:01:46,830 Oh, never mind. 34 00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,850 Just once I'd like to get something I want. 35 00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:51,443 (cries) 36 00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:57,932 I'll get her the damn bike 37 00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:00,160 and anything else the TV says. 38 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,862 (shrieks) 39 00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:04,514 (shrieks) Why, you... 40 00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:07,042 Shut up, shut up, shut up! (grunts) 41 00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:10,111 One wife bike, please. 42 00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,446 Excellent choice, sir. 43 00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:14,040 Our starter model goes for $1,500. 44 00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,360 $1,500?! 45 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:19,045 Don't worry. We do have an installment plan. 46 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:20,697 $40 a month for... 47 00:02:20,699 --> 00:02:22,349 (mumbles) ...months. 48 00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:24,977 That's better. 49 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,461 And at 60 bucks for the classes... 50 00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,814 -What the...? -...25 for the matching water bottle... 51 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,133 -That's crazy. -...and it's 125 for the special shoes. 52 00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:34,060 Fine, I'll take the shoes. 53 00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:35,061 Good choice. 54 00:02:35,063 --> 00:02:36,989 Regular laces or deluxe? 55 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,991 -Regular. -The regular cost more. 56 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,217 (groans) 57 00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:41,660 (snoring) 58 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,662 ("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from The Nutcracker playing) 59 00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,889 (giggles) 60 00:02:45,891 --> 00:02:49,817 And now for the birthday elf to work his silent magic. 61 00:02:49,819 --> 00:02:51,244 (yelling) 62 00:02:51,246 --> 00:02:53,897 (grunting, yelling) 63 00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:55,007 (clanks) 64 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,092 (classical music playing) 65 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:02,163 (grunts) Why did I say "I'll take it from here"? 66 00:03:02,165 --> 00:03:04,741 Why do I always want to impress? 67 00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:05,926 I got it from here, guys. 68 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,519 (cracking) 69 00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,856 No. I'll take me from here. 70 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,083 (loud groaning) 71 00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:15,360 (pained grunting) 72 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,437 Oh, God! 73 00:03:17,439 --> 00:03:20,032 Assembling your bike couldn't be easier. 74 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:23,760 Step one, get your 10,000 SPM pneumatic jigsaw. 75 00:03:23,762 --> 00:03:24,778 My what? 76 00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:26,763 Difficult. Complicated. 77 00:03:26,765 --> 00:03:28,098 Obscenely hard. 78 00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,433 Congratulations. 79 00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:30,784 You've opened the box. 80 00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,211 Now, we begin. 81 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,713 (ratcheting) 82 00:03:36,032 --> 00:03:38,383 Son, I'm trapped. 83 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,461 (whistling) 84 00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:42,629 (grunting) 85 00:03:42,631 --> 00:03:46,642 There must be a way to get out of this gift! 86 00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:49,186 (clanging) 87 00:03:51,123 --> 00:03:53,106 Love you, Dad. Mwah. 88 00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,461 (Homer groans) 89 00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,737 (ratcheting) 90 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,647 Surprise! 91 00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,223 (grunting) 92 00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:04,392 It's wonderful, Homie! 93 00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:07,996 And there's one thing left I can do. 94 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,166 (clanging) 95 00:04:11,994 --> 00:04:12,993 I'll fix that. 96 00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,586 Just stop. 97 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,588 (strained grunting) 98 00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:20,425 Okay. 99 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,428 "Step one, create a unique username." 100 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,603 Ooh, now, he looks like fun. 101 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,165 What's up, Pedalon family? 102 00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:37,425 My name is Jesse, and I care about you. 103 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:40,170 All of you. Except for the woman on the bottom left. 104 00:04:40,172 --> 00:04:42,005 Your credit card was declined. 105 00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,491 Repo men are on the way! 106 00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:47,077 No...! 107 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,247 Now let's ride. 108 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,868 (pants, sniffs) 109 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:56,703 (panting) 110 00:04:56,705 --> 00:04:58,297 Oh, boy. 111 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,299 You got this, ScaredToGoToGym! 112 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,467 Way to be, EndorphinAnnie! 113 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,694 And that is the end! 114 00:05:04,696 --> 00:05:07,472 Of warm-up. Let's look alive! 115 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,387 (groans) I can't. 116 00:05:14,389 --> 00:05:15,889 I can't do it. 117 00:05:16,892 --> 00:05:18,966 Don't you give up, MrsMargeSimpson! 118 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:21,728 You're talking to me. 119 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:23,229 Yes, I am, MrsMargeSimpson, 120 00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:25,657 and I believe in you! 121 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,660 Oh, my God. A positive online interaction. 122 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,162 Can you believe it, Alexa? 123 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,405 ALEXA: I'm on my break. 124 00:05:32,407 --> 00:05:33,239 (humming) 125 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:36,150 And cross that finish line. 126 00:05:36,152 --> 00:05:38,003 To quote a personal hero of mine, 127 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,412 Mr. Nelson Mandela, 128 00:05:39,414 --> 00:05:42,415 it always seems impossible until it is done. 129 00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:45,902 I prefer to believe that he was talking about riding a bike 130 00:05:45,904 --> 00:05:47,087 in your living room. 131 00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:49,014 Peace out! 132 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,925 Is something wrong, Mom? 133 00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:54,061 You didn't get the mail today. 134 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,416 What's this? 135 00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:01,026 Lisa, I'm in cool-down mode. 136 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,027 Can it wait? 137 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,087 I don't want jelly legs. 138 00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:07,032 Mmm. Jelly legs. 139 00:06:10,596 --> 00:06:12,762 (chewing) 140 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,097 It's a jury summons, 141 00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:15,690 in my name! 142 00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,934 Ignore it. When you're my age, 143 00:06:17,936 --> 00:06:21,454 the last thing you want to do is stay still in a box. 144 00:06:21,456 --> 00:06:25,050 Yeah, I mean, obviously, it's for another Lisa Simpson. 145 00:06:26,111 --> 00:06:27,794 (gasps) It says if I throw it away, 146 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:30,222 there's six months in prison! 147 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,558 Um, is that vegan? 148 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,135 Vegan? No way. 149 00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,895 This is prison. 150 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,305 It's vegetarian. 151 00:06:39,307 --> 00:06:41,316 (laughter) 152 00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,238 Honey, you got the triple "H"! 153 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,073 Homer, home and hungry! 154 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,650 Can't talk now. Jesse is freestyle rapping. 155 00:06:51,987 --> 00:06:54,896 ♪ It's only the first inning, heart beating, no retreating ♪ 156 00:06:54,898 --> 00:06:56,489 ♪ Time, it is fleeting ♪ 157 00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:57,249 When are we eating? 158 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,309 6:00 p.m. No cheating! 159 00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:02,236 ♪ I'm Hamilton on a bike, Hamilton on a bike, y'all ♪ 160 00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:05,498 ♪ You drop the LBs while I drop the mic, y'all! ♪ 161 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,217 (chuckles): Yeah! 162 00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,745 Oh... 163 00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:12,656 -(grumbling) -(chime) 164 00:07:12,658 --> 00:07:14,433 Ooh, a high four! 165 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,768 Marge, sweetie, what does that bike give you 166 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,511 that feeding me doesn't? 167 00:07:18,513 --> 00:07:20,497 Encouragement. 168 00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,590 (chiming) 169 00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:23,850 MrsMargeSimpson, 170 00:07:23,852 --> 00:07:26,519 that is one beauteous gluteus! 171 00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:30,490 HOMER: I'll put a stop to this here and now. 172 00:07:32,101 --> 00:07:34,119 Backup battery activated! 173 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,030 And Marge Simpson is my biker of the week. 174 00:07:37,032 --> 00:07:39,532 (groans) Stupid Peloton! 175 00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:40,792 I mean, Pedalon! 176 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,377 Uh, you know what I mean! 177 00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,092 (grunting) Ah... 178 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,879 MrsMargeSimpson, we're gonna play "Taps" 179 00:07:52,881 --> 00:07:54,881 because you killed it today. 180 00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,050 ("Taps" playing) 181 00:07:57,052 --> 00:07:58,310 And riding to "Taps." 182 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,628 And a one, and a two, and a go! 183 00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,556 Marge, you've been sitting on that thing all day. 184 00:08:03,558 --> 00:08:05,967 -(Marge grunting) -Why don't you take a walk? 185 00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:07,377 Get a little exercise. 186 00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,804 Wait a minute, "Marge in Charge"? 187 00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:11,656 What happened to Mrs. Marge Simpson? 188 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,567 I'm just getting tired of the same old things. 189 00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,161 Like my last name? 190 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,330 That was my gift to you at our wedding. 191 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,908 It's just a user name. You're overreacting. 192 00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:23,001 -Oh, am I? -(Marge grunting) 193 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,152 Am I overreacting to my wife 194 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:27,413 being taken in by a cult? 195 00:08:27,415 --> 00:08:30,083 It's not a cult. It's just a group of people 196 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:31,993 improving their lives, paying money, 197 00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:35,055 and slavishly following a charismatic leader. 198 00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:39,726 Ah. Boy, do I love drinking that Kool-Aid. 199 00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:46,525 (barks softly) 200 00:08:51,423 --> 00:08:54,849 Um, excuse me, there's been a mistake. 201 00:08:54,851 --> 00:08:56,943 (chuckles) Yeah, that's what they all say. 202 00:08:56,945 --> 00:09:00,280 No, really. I should not be on a jury. 203 00:09:00,282 --> 00:09:02,615 Well, no one wants to be on a jury. 204 00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:04,617 But I have a valid excuse. I'm... 205 00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:06,193 Ugh, I'm so sick of this. 206 00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:08,213 People say their work is too important, 207 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,031 or they have a vacation planned, 208 00:09:10,033 --> 00:09:12,292 or they hate cops, or they love cops, 209 00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,794 or they're secretly eight years old. 210 00:09:14,796 --> 00:09:16,946 But I am only eight years old. 211 00:09:16,948 --> 00:09:18,390 Just ignore that magazine, 212 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,541 and please take a good look at me. 213 00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:23,562 What eight-year-old wears pearls? 214 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:27,232 You're being non-responsive and borderline fascist. 215 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,550 So you claim you're eight years old, 216 00:09:29,552 --> 00:09:31,978 and you're using language like that? 217 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:35,031 Excuse denied! Get out of my face. 218 00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,326 (bedsprings squeaking loudly) 219 00:09:39,638 --> 00:09:42,581 -(Marge grunting) -(Homer groans) 220 00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:47,026 -One, two, one, two, one... -Marge, Marge. Marge! 221 00:09:47,028 --> 00:09:49,979 -Ah! -You were pedaling in your sleep. 222 00:09:49,981 --> 00:09:51,314 Good. Good. 223 00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:53,741 Jesse says the only bad workout is the one 224 00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:54,909 that doesn't happen. 225 00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:56,152 (gasps) 226 00:09:56,154 --> 00:09:59,005 You brought Jesse into our bedroom. 227 00:09:59,007 --> 00:10:01,082 Oh, sweetie, don't worry. 228 00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,101 Yes, I may dream about him, 229 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,011 spend most of my day with him, 230 00:10:05,013 --> 00:10:08,681 use up half our disposable income on him. 231 00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:11,258 But I'm married to you, Jesse. 232 00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:13,928 Homer! Homer, Homer. I'm married to Homer. 233 00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:16,597 Now, let's get to Jesse. Sleep. Sleep. 234 00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,659 Homer. Oh... Mmm. 235 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:20,952 Okay. 236 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,787 What is that? 237 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,625 Uh, it's a Pedalon pillow scent. 238 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,627 What's it called? 239 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:32,672 Um, "Sweat Dreams, by Jesse." 240 00:10:36,027 --> 00:10:38,528 Fine. I'm going to Moe's. 241 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,197 Where the only exercise you get is lifting a mug. 242 00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:43,290 Sometimes Moe helps with that, too. 243 00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:46,794 That's my big boy. Only five more to go. 244 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:48,796 That's my little drinker. 245 00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:49,873 Aww. 246 00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,133 Homer, what gives? It's only Tuesday, 247 00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:54,043 and you're drinking like it's a Thursday. 248 00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:55,728 I got nothing to go home to except 249 00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,947 except my incredibly fit wife. 250 00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:01,809 I think she has a thing for her ride instructor. 251 00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:02,902 Eh, don't worry. 252 00:11:02,904 --> 00:11:04,779 Those guys are losers in real life. 253 00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:06,331 Let me check out what they make. 254 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,225 $500,000? 255 00:11:09,227 --> 00:11:11,227 I wish I was a ride instructor. 256 00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:13,505 Yeah, me, too. Except for the bike riding, 257 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,231 and saying encouraging things. 258 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:17,583 And I'm not allowed to appear on the Internet 259 00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:19,994 without a big dot in front of my face. 260 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,829 Wow, that is an improvement. 261 00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:25,124 Sure is gonna be hard to go back to "No-Dot" Moe. 262 00:11:25,126 --> 00:11:26,351 Just for that, I'll turn on 263 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,378 -the really harsh lighting. -Turn it off. 264 00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:32,173 Why can't she be happy with the other instructors? 265 00:11:32,175 --> 00:11:36,010 Like Vivica, or Jen S. Or even Jen R.? 266 00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:37,754 Why always Jesse? 267 00:11:37,756 --> 00:11:39,531 Oh, did you say Jesse? 268 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,759 -Jesse of Pedalon? -You guys know him? 269 00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,518 He is a damnation. 270 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,021 Hey, you kiss your cross with that mouth? 271 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:48,614 I know what I said. 272 00:11:48,616 --> 00:11:52,711 I could do laps in his deep blue eyes, that jerk. 273 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:54,954 (grumbling) 274 00:11:54,956 --> 00:11:56,456 Would you listen to yourselves? 275 00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:59,050 Complaining that your wives found a healthy hobby. 276 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,762 I'm ashamed to be drinking till 2:00 a.m. with all of youse. 277 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,058 All rise for juror selection. 278 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,229 LISA: She looks understanding. 279 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,066 Christmas gift. 280 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,809 Now, listen here. 281 00:12:16,811 --> 00:12:18,719 Jurors will only be released 282 00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,463 for the most serious of reasons. 283 00:12:20,465 --> 00:12:23,149 Tell you what, if you get me out of this, 284 00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:24,317 we could have coffee. 285 00:12:24,319 --> 00:12:26,319 Your Honor, we should both be excused. 286 00:12:26,321 --> 00:12:28,654 As a newsman who's seen too much, 287 00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:30,856 I can't possibly be objective. 288 00:12:30,858 --> 00:12:31,975 What about her? 289 00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:34,419 -She's my plus-one. -Aww. 290 00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:38,498 Do you have any objections to losing these... jurors? 291 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,509 Ah, well, they're the only jurors I like. 292 00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:45,822 Oh, boy. Aw, geez. 293 00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,140 Don't type that part. 294 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,825 And don't type the part where I said, 295 00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:49,768 "Don't type that part." 296 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,085 Ah, she's typing it. 297 00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,179 You know, I think I'm gonna win this case. 298 00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:55,498 Oh, now she stops typing. 299 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,026 Jurors six and eight are excused. 300 00:12:59,262 --> 00:13:01,095 This place makes no sense. 301 00:13:01,097 --> 00:13:02,113 You're telling me? 302 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,931 I'm on this jury while I am 303 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:06,284 simultaneously in prison. 304 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,529 Personal best, WineMomNoMore. 305 00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:12,698 Big deal, the instructor talks to you. 306 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,108 Marge in Charge. 307 00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,944 (gasps) That's me, that's me, that's me. 308 00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,630 I'd like to see you after class. 309 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:19,798 Meet me in the... 310 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,541 Cool Down Lounge. 311 00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:22,783 Hmm? 312 00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:24,785 Marge, I've been watching you, 313 00:13:24,787 --> 00:13:26,029 and I would like to invite you 314 00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,454 for a private ride. 315 00:13:27,456 --> 00:13:29,265 ♪ 316 00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:34,461 A personal experience, you and me alone. 317 00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:36,055 The world is our bike lane. 318 00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:39,300 You mean the two of us in the same place? 319 00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,485 Oh, no. God, no. No. 320 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,061 The same way we've always done it. 321 00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,563 You on your bike and me on mine. 322 00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:46,049 My motives are pure. Ha. 323 00:13:46,051 --> 00:13:47,567 Well, Marge? 324 00:13:47,569 --> 00:13:49,327 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 325 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,163 ♪ We can make it if we try ♪ 326 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,165 This makes me feel a little odd, 327 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,000 but again, the only bad workout 328 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,577 is the one you don't do. 329 00:13:57,579 --> 00:13:59,062 JESSE: You got that right. 330 00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:00,580 I thought I shut this off. 331 00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:02,732 JESSE: Uh, there's a five minute "secret listen." 332 00:14:02,734 --> 00:14:04,491 Y-You have to opt out. 333 00:14:04,493 --> 00:14:07,053 ♪ 334 00:14:09,498 --> 00:14:10,598 Here we go. 335 00:14:12,243 --> 00:14:14,477 You've got something to say, say it. 336 00:14:15,763 --> 00:14:17,272 Nap time. 337 00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:23,278 ♪ 338 00:14:24,939 --> 00:14:27,106 And when you found the victim lying carved up 339 00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:29,092 like a spiral-cut ham, 340 00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:30,535 You took this photo. 341 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,945 Yeah, but see how I got the full moon 342 00:14:32,947 --> 00:14:34,931 reflecting in the pool of blood? 343 00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,857 And that's just using the iPhone 10, 344 00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:38,877 not the good one. (chuckles) Amazing. 345 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,527 Can you believe this? 346 00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:43,364 Longest Judge Judy I've ever seen. 347 00:14:43,366 --> 00:14:45,366 (scoffs) This is not a TV show, 348 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,719 and we are not a studio audience. 349 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,538 And little jurors should be seen and not heard. 350 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,892 (whistling) 351 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,144 ♪ 352 00:15:00,808 --> 00:15:02,275 (hums) 353 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,129 WOMAN'S VOICE: Welcome to the Private Ride. 354 00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:09,223 -Just you and your instructor. -(beeps) 355 00:15:09,225 --> 00:15:11,725 We'll just send that to voice mail. 356 00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:13,661 (exotic music playing) 357 00:15:15,807 --> 00:15:17,473 (speaking Mandarin) 358 00:15:17,475 --> 00:15:19,475 That means thank you for joining me. 359 00:15:19,477 --> 00:15:21,902 Today our pedal odyssey will take us on 360 00:15:21,904 --> 00:15:23,737 the Great Wall of China. 361 00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:27,258 So sit back, enjoy, and... (speaks Mandarin) 362 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,761 That means remember to hydrate. 363 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,471 (exotic music continues) 364 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,825 Behold the wonders of China. 365 00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:37,176 Bitcoin mines, 366 00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:40,680 forced labor camps where children make smartphones, 367 00:15:40,682 --> 00:15:43,332 and romance. 368 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,611 Marge, I know we've had a tough few weeks, 369 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,021 but I'm really gonna make an effort to be good 370 00:15:49,023 --> 00:15:50,264 till you're not mad. 371 00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:52,116 Then I'll go back to the way I was. 372 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,859 JESSE: That's it, feel the burn. 373 00:15:53,861 --> 00:15:56,204 Feel you, feel me. 374 00:15:58,032 --> 00:16:00,941 Let's take him down. 375 00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,518 You got to be more specific, Homer. 376 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,629 We hate lots of guys in this bar. 377 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,114 I know who he means. Jesse. 378 00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:08,449 If we did have sex, 379 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:10,693 my wife would be thinking of him. 380 00:16:10,695 --> 00:16:13,529 And hypothetically, I'd be furious. 381 00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:15,956 When that guy tried to steal Marge, 382 00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:18,959 he woke the wrong sleeping fatso. 383 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,220 I just have to find him. 384 00:16:21,222 --> 00:16:23,055 I can tell you where he is. 385 00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:24,148 What? How? 386 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,424 You know how the Church says 387 00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:27,968 we don't share any information? 388 00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:30,896 It's a lie. Google bought us six years ago, 389 00:16:30,898 --> 00:16:33,307 so here you are. 390 00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:37,829 I'm gonna put a foot-shaped dent in his beautiful ass. 391 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,980 Defense, closing statement. 392 00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,982 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 393 00:16:41,984 --> 00:16:43,835 consider everything you've seen, 394 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,911 and beyond a shadow of a doubt, 395 00:16:45,913 --> 00:16:48,080 you will vote guilty. 396 00:16:48,082 --> 00:16:49,990 You're the not guilty guy. 397 00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:51,843 Uh, wha-what? 398 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,236 Gol-dang it. 399 00:16:53,238 --> 00:16:55,238 Now, if there are no further statements... 400 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,663 I have a statement. 401 00:16:56,665 --> 00:16:58,165 This is highly irregular, 402 00:16:58,167 --> 00:17:00,243 but I'm very bored, so I'll allow it. 403 00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,854 Thank you. I didn't want to be on this jury. 404 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,338 I didn't think I was mature enough 405 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,006 to decide a criminal case. 406 00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:09,252 But after seeing the nonsense that goes on in this courtroom, 407 00:17:09,254 --> 00:17:11,587 well, you should be ashamed. 408 00:17:11,589 --> 00:17:14,198 And, Your Honor, I find you guilty 409 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,426 of criminal indifference and playing Wordle 410 00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:18,852 on the bench. 411 00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,447 "Bench." That's what it is. 412 00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:23,949 Ah, juror number six. Lisa Simpson. 413 00:17:23,951 --> 00:17:25,209 Yes, Judge? 414 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,028 I find you in contempt of court. 415 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,696 Bailiff, take her away. 416 00:17:29,698 --> 00:17:32,533 Now the forewoman is gonna be the Crazy Cat Lady. 417 00:17:32,535 --> 00:17:33,867 (gibbering): I want to take a vote. 418 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,219 No, too soon! Take a vote... 419 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,703 (spouting gibberish) 420 00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:39,348 Kitty's going to-- What was it? Guilty, guilty. 421 00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:44,062 And that leaves 11 jurors. It's a mistrial. 422 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:45,730 The defendant can go free. 423 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,565 (Lisa groans) 424 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,233 (knock on Jesse's door) 425 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,976 Uh, excuse me, private riders, 426 00:17:50,978 --> 00:17:52,570 I have a guy at the door. 427 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,796 Yes, may I help you? 428 00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,055 (Homer grunts) 429 00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:58,284 (both grunting) 430 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,413 You like that? You like that, fatty? 431 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,141 Okay, so when strangling a man, don't just 432 00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:07,418 use your arms, people, engage that core. 433 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,921 Engage. Engage. 434 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:13,907 I'll die as I lived... 435 00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,927 failing and sweaty. 436 00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,262 Let him go. Let him go. 437 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,348 Oh, I've got to save Homie. 438 00:18:22,677 --> 00:18:24,660 (engine not turning over) 439 00:18:24,662 --> 00:18:26,312 Damn it! 440 00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:34,003 Oh, it's so hard to ride without a screen to look at. 441 00:18:34,005 --> 00:18:37,598 Muscle memory. Muscle memory. 442 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,075 ♪ 443 00:18:44,365 --> 00:18:45,623 Cool. 444 00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:56,592 Whoa! 445 00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:04,049 Aw, screw it. 446 00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:05,201 (groans) 447 00:19:05,203 --> 00:19:07,628 Whoa, was that your mom? 448 00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:10,373 In a million years my mom would not be that cool. 449 00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,983 Bart, be home by 6:00. 450 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,009 Well, if it's not your mom, 451 00:19:14,011 --> 00:19:15,895 she stole her catchphrase. 452 00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:18,197 (panting) 453 00:19:20,401 --> 00:19:21,475 (gasping) 454 00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:25,163 You're having a thing with my wife. 455 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,498 Dude, she doesn't even know where I live. 456 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,625 MARGE: You get away from my husband. 457 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,396 I thought you said it was a private ride. 458 00:19:33,398 --> 00:19:35,339 Well, you should have read the terms and conditions 459 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,341 before you checked "agree," huh? 460 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,993 (Marge grunting) 461 00:19:39,995 --> 00:19:42,238 That's enough, bub. 462 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,165 That's it, Marge, work those quads. 463 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:47,593 I'm tired of men telling me what to do. 464 00:19:47,595 --> 00:19:49,854 (grunts) 465 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,565 (Jesse screaming) 466 00:19:56,178 --> 00:19:58,679 Homer, let's go home. 467 00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,180 Be sure to rate your ride, 468 00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:02,366 and use Jesse32 for special discounts 469 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,776 in our online store. 470 00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:07,854 Not valid without any other discount codes. (groans) 471 00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:10,708 Once again I have to thank you for saving me 472 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,859 when I failed at saving you. 473 00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:16,272 BOTH: ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 474 00:20:16,274 --> 00:20:18,365 ♪ We can make it if we try ♪ 475 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,218 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 476 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,295 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 477 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,223 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 478 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,709 ♪ Building castles in the sky ♪ 479 00:20:28,711 --> 00:20:30,728 ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 480 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,064 ♪ You and I. ♪ 481 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,460 Is that my bike? 482 00:20:37,462 --> 00:20:40,129 HOMER AND MARGE: ♪ Just the two of us ♪ 483 00:20:40,131 --> 00:20:42,815 ♪ We can make it if we try ♪ 484 00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:44,575 ♪ Just the two of us. ♪ 485 00:20:48,823 --> 00:20:51,064 I'm interested in buying a bike. 486 00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:53,158 Well, you have come to the right place. 487 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,068 I'll take it from here. 488 00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:58,238 (chuckles, sighs) I used to make 500 grand a year. 489 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,591 And I used to be king of South Jersey. 490 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:04,095 My big mistake was moving into Middlesex County. 491 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,265 Why did I get so cocky? Stupid, stupid, stupid! 492 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,934 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 493 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,603 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 494 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:17,024 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 495 00:21:28,529 --> 00:21:30,413 Shh!