1
00:00:02,338 --> 00:00:03,941
(gulping)
2
00:00:03,941 --> 00:00:08,718
-(screaming)
-♪ Somewhere up there ♪
3
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:11,991
♪ Beyond the blue ♪
4
00:00:11,991 --> 00:00:14,128
♪ There's love ♪
5
00:00:14,128 --> 00:00:16,299
♪ For me ♪
6
00:00:16,299 --> 00:00:19,640
-♪ And you. ♪
- HOMER: Ah...!
7
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,175
(screams, whimpers)
8
00:00:21,175 --> 00:00:23,413
-(rapid instrumental)
-(all vocalizing dizzily)
9
00:00:27,087 --> 00:00:29,325
(all yelling)
10
00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:41,617
(screaming)
11
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,758
(song stops)
12
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:51,637
(belches loudly)
13
00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:54,743
♪
14
00:00:59,452 --> 00:01:01,957
♪
15
00:01:01,957 --> 00:01:05,130
WIFE: Oh, my gosh! It's what
you thought I always wanted!
16
00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,636
I do like
when you have a regimen.
17
00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:09,071
Oh.
18
00:01:09,071 --> 00:01:11,610
I can feel myself getting hotter
than the other moms.
19
00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:14,382
And my husband can increase
the incline from the app.
20
00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:18,858
(cackling)
21
00:01:18,858 --> 00:01:20,995
I've never been happier.
22
00:01:20,995 --> 00:01:23,300
I'm back
to my sixth-grade weight!
23
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,170
ANNOUNCER: Pedalon.
Because a great marriage
24
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:26,941
is a bike that goes nowhere.
25
00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:29,713
-(grunting)
-(grunting) Why, you...
26
00:01:29,713 --> 00:01:31,182
You know, Homie,
27
00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:34,723
an exercise bike would be good
for someone like me
28
00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:36,459
who can barely leave the house.
29
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:38,631
And my birthday's coming up.
30
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:41,102
An exercise bike?
Why would you want that,
31
00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,106
instead of getting
locked into a gym membership
32
00:01:43,106 --> 00:01:45,143
you could never use
and can't cancel?
33
00:01:45,143 --> 00:01:46,780
Oh, never mind.
34
00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:49,920
Just once I'd like
to get something I want.
35
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,557
(cries)
36
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:57,969
I'll get her the damn bike
37
00:01:57,969 --> 00:02:00,307
and anything else the TV says.
38
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:04,549
(shrieks) Why, you...
39
00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:07,187
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
(grunts)
40
00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:10,193
One wife bike, please.
41
00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:11,496
Excellent choice, sir.
42
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:14,168
Our starter model
goes for $1,500.
43
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:16,272
$1,500?!
44
00:02:16,272 --> 00:02:19,145
Don't worry.
We do have an installment plan.
45
00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:20,715
$40 a month for...
46
00:02:20,715 --> 00:02:22,484
(mumbles) ...months.
47
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,157
That's better.
48
00:02:25,157 --> 00:02:26,527
And at 60 bucks
for the classes...
49
00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,931
- What the...?
- ...25 for the matching
water bottle...
50
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:32,137
- That's crazy.
- ...and it's 125
for the special shoes.
51
00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:34,208
Fine, I'll take the shoes.
52
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:35,210
Good choice.
53
00:02:35,210 --> 00:02:37,147
Regular laces or deluxe?
54
00:02:37,147 --> 00:02:39,151
- Regular.
- The regular cost more.
55
00:02:39,151 --> 00:02:40,588
(groans)
56
00:02:40,588 --> 00:02:41,824
(snoring)
57
00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:43,828
("Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy"
from The Nutcracker playing)
58
00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:45,965
(giggles)
59
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,906
And now for the birthday elf
to work his silent magic.
60
00:02:49,906 --> 00:02:51,376
(yelling)
61
00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,948
(grunting, yelling)
62
00:02:53,948 --> 00:02:55,183
(clanks)
63
00:02:55,183 --> 00:02:57,287
(classical music playing)
64
00:02:59,458 --> 00:03:02,297
(grunts) Why did I say
"I'll take it from here"?
65
00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:04,770
Why do I always want to impress?
66
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,105
I got it from here, guys.
67
00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,742
(cracking)
68
00:03:08,511 --> 00:03:11,049
No. I'll take me from here.
69
00:03:11,049 --> 00:03:13,119
(loud groaning)
70
00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:15,591
(pained grunting)
71
00:03:15,591 --> 00:03:17,494
Oh, God!
72
00:03:17,494 --> 00:03:20,233
Assembling your bike
couldn't be easier.
73
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,841
Step one, get your 10,000 SPM
pneumatic jigsaw.
74
00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:24,943
My what?
75
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,880
Difficult. Complicated.
76
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,183
Obscenely hard.
77
00:03:28,183 --> 00:03:29,452
Congratulations.
78
00:03:29,452 --> 00:03:30,955
You've opened the box.
79
00:03:30,955 --> 00:03:32,424
Now, we begin.
80
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:34,930
(ratcheting)
81
00:03:36,165 --> 00:03:38,604
Son, I'm trapped.
82
00:03:40,107 --> 00:03:41,610
(whistling)
83
00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:42,545
(grunting)
84
00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:46,887
There must be a way
to get out of this gift!
85
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:49,425
(clanging)
86
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:53,366
Love you, Dad. Mwah.
87
00:03:56,072 --> 00:03:57,609
(Homer groans)
88
00:03:57,609 --> 00:03:58,978
(ratcheting)
89
00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:00,848
Surprise!
90
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:02,284
(grunting)
91
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,589
It's wonderful, Homie!
92
00:04:04,589 --> 00:04:08,229
And there's one thing left
I can do.
93
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,436
(clanging)
94
00:04:12,204 --> 00:04:13,206
I'll fix that.
95
00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:14,843
Just stop.
96
00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:16,847
(strained grunting)
97
00:04:19,619 --> 00:04:20,721
Okay.
98
00:04:20,721 --> 00:04:23,727
"Step one,
create a unique username."
99
00:04:29,371 --> 00:04:31,877
Ooh, now, he looks like fun.
100
00:04:33,881 --> 00:04:35,217
What's up, Pedalon family?
101
00:04:35,217 --> 00:04:37,655
My name is Jesse,
and I care about you.
102
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:40,360
All of you. Except for the woman
on the bottom left.
103
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,197
Your credit card was declined.
104
00:04:42,197 --> 00:04:44,769
Repo men are on the way!
105
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,374
No...!
106
00:04:48,744 --> 00:04:50,548
Now let's ride.
107
00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:55,190
(pants, sniffs)
108
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:56,994
(panting)
109
00:04:56,994 --> 00:04:58,597
Oh, boy.
110
00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,601
You got this, ScaredToGoToGym!
111
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,772
Way to be, EndorphinAnnie!
112
00:05:02,772 --> 00:05:04,910
And that is the end!
113
00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:07,782
Of warm-up. Let's look alive!
114
00:05:12,457 --> 00:05:14,663
(groans)
I can't.
115
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:16,365
I can't do it.
116
00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:19,238
Don't you give up,
MrsMargeSimpson!
117
00:05:19,238 --> 00:05:22,010
You're talking to me.
118
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,547
Yes, I am, MrsMargeSimpson,
119
00:05:23,547 --> 00:05:25,985
and I believe in you!
120
00:05:25,985 --> 00:05:28,991
Oh, my God.
A positive online interaction.
121
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,493
Can you believe it, Alexa?
122
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,765
ALEXA:
I'm on my break.
123
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:33,567
(humming)
124
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,405
And cross that finish line.
125
00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:38,343
To quote
a personal hero of mine,
126
00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:39,713
Mr. Nelson Mandela,
127
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,719
it always seems impossible
until it is done.
128
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:46,158
I prefer to believe that he
was talking about riding a bike
129
00:05:46,158 --> 00:05:47,394
in your living room.
130
00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:49,365
Peace out!
131
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,237
Is something wrong, Mom?
132
00:05:52,237 --> 00:05:54,441
You didn't get the mail today.
133
00:05:58,884 --> 00:05:59,686
What's this?
134
00:05:59,686 --> 00:06:01,422
Lisa, I'm in cool-down mode.
135
00:06:01,422 --> 00:06:02,424
Can it wait?
136
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:04,361
I don't want jelly legs.
137
00:06:04,361 --> 00:06:07,401
Mmm. Jelly legs.
138
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:13,012
(chewing)
139
00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:14,381
It's a jury summons,
140
00:06:14,381 --> 00:06:15,985
in my name!
141
00:06:15,985 --> 00:06:18,022
Ignore it. When you're my age,
142
00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:21,697
the last thing you want to do
is stay still in a box.
143
00:06:21,697 --> 00:06:25,470
Yeah, I mean, obviously,
it's for another Lisa Simpson.
144
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:28,142
(gasps)
It says if I throw it away,
145
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:30,615
there's six months in prison!
146
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,921
Um, is that vegan?
147
00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:35,524
Vegan? No way.
148
00:06:35,524 --> 00:06:37,327
This is prison.
149
00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:39,699
It's vegetarian.
150
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,703
(laughter)
151
00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:46,647
Honey, you got the triple "H"!
152
00:06:46,647 --> 00:06:48,483
Homer, home and hungry!
153
00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:51,289
Can't talk now.
Jesse is freestyle rapping.
154
00:06:52,357 --> 00:06:55,230
♪ It's only the first inning,
heart beating, no retreating ♪
155
00:06:55,230 --> 00:06:56,867
♪ Time, it is fleeting ♪
156
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:57,669
When are we eating?
157
00:06:57,669 --> 00:06:59,371
6:00 p. m. No cheating!
158
00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:02,545
♪ I'm Hamilton on a bike,
Hamilton on a bike, y'all ♪
159
00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:05,918
♪ You drop the LBs
while I drop the mic, y'all! ♪
160
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:07,655
(chuckles):
Yeah!
161
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,095
Oh...
162
00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:12,999
-(grumbling)
-(chime)
163
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,869
Ooh, a high four!
164
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,207
Marge, sweetie,
what does that bike give you
165
00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:18,877
that feeding me doesn't?
166
00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,815
Encouragement.
167
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,952
(chiming)
168
00:07:22,952 --> 00:07:24,254
MrsMargeSimpson,
169
00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:26,927
that is one beauteous gluteus!
170
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:30,935
HOMER:
I'll put a stop to this
here and now.
171
00:07:32,505 --> 00:07:34,576
Backup battery activated!
172
00:07:34,576 --> 00:07:37,481
And Marge Simpson
is my biker of the week.
173
00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:39,953
(groans)
Stupid Peloton!
174
00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,255
I mean, Pedalon!
175
00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:42,859
Uh, you know what I mean!
176
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,773
(grunting)
Ah...
177
00:07:50,775 --> 00:07:53,179
MrsMargeSimpson,
we're gonna play "Taps"
178
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:55,317
because you killed it today.
179
00:07:55,317 --> 00:07:57,487
("Taps" playing)
180
00:07:57,487 --> 00:07:58,791
And riding to "Taps."
181
00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:01,028
And a one, and a two,
and a go!
182
00:08:01,028 --> 00:08:04,001
Marge, you've been sitting
on that thing all day.
183
00:08:04,001 --> 00:08:06,405
-(Marge grunting)
- Why don't you take a walk?
184
00:08:06,405 --> 00:08:07,775
Get a little exercise.
185
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:10,246
Wait a minute,
"Marge in Charge"?
186
00:08:10,246 --> 00:08:12,150
What happened to
Mrs. Marge Simpson?
187
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:15,056
I'm just getting tired of
the same old things.
188
00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:16,693
Like my last name?
189
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:18,831
That was my gift to you
at our wedding.
190
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,371
It's just a user name.
You're overreacting.
191
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:23,507
- Oh, am I?
-(Marge grunting)
192
00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,578
Am I overreacting to my wife
193
00:08:25,578 --> 00:08:27,882
being taken in by a cult?
194
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,487
It's not a cult.
It's just a group of people
195
00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,457
improving their lives,
paying money,
196
00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:35,564
and slavishly following
a charismatic leader.
197
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:40,240
Ah. Boy, do I love
drinking that Kool-Aid.
198
00:08:44,516 --> 00:08:47,054
(barks softly)
199
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:55,103
Um, excuse me,
there's been a mistake.
200
00:08:55,103 --> 00:08:57,441
(chuckles)
Yeah, that's what
they all say.
201
00:08:57,441 --> 00:09:00,781
No, really.
I should not be on a jury.
202
00:09:00,781 --> 00:09:02,985
Well, no one wants
to be on a jury.
203
00:09:02,985 --> 00:09:05,123
But I have a valid excuse.
I'm...
204
00:09:05,123 --> 00:09:06,660
Ugh, I'm so sick of this.
205
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:08,764
People say their work
is too important,
206
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:10,500
or they have a vacation planned,
207
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,805
or they hate cops,
or they love cops,
208
00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:15,210
or they're secretly
eight years old.
209
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,414
But I am only eight years old.
210
00:09:17,414 --> 00:09:18,951
Just ignore that magazine,
211
00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:21,055
and please take a good look
at me.
212
00:09:21,055 --> 00:09:24,027
What eight-year-old
wears pearls?
213
00:09:24,027 --> 00:09:27,635
You're being non-responsive
and borderline fascist.
214
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:30,039
So you claim
you're eight years old,
215
00:09:30,039 --> 00:09:32,512
and you're using language
like that?
216
00:09:32,512 --> 00:09:35,584
Excuse denied!
Get out of my face.
217
00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:38,924
(bedsprings squeaking loudly)
218
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:43,166
-(Marge grunting)
-(Homer groans)
219
00:09:44,869 --> 00:09:47,542
- One, two, one, two, one...
- Marge, Marge. Marge!
220
00:09:47,542 --> 00:09:50,480
- Ah!
- You were pedaling
in your sleep.
221
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,783
Good. Good.
222
00:09:51,783 --> 00:09:54,288
Jesse says the only bad workout
is the one
223
00:09:54,288 --> 00:09:55,457
that doesn't happen.
224
00:09:55,457 --> 00:09:56,526
(gasps)
225
00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:59,599
You brought Jesse
into our bedroom.
226
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,636
Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
227
00:10:01,636 --> 00:10:03,707
Yes, I may dream about him,
228
00:10:03,707 --> 00:10:05,578
spend most of my day
with him,
229
00:10:05,578 --> 00:10:09,251
use up half our
disposable income on him.
230
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:11,823
But I'm married to you, Jesse.
231
00:10:11,823 --> 00:10:14,461
Homer! Homer, Homer.
I'm married to Homer.
232
00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:17,134
Now, let's get to Jesse.
Sleep. Sleep.
233
00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:20,273
Homer. Oh... Mmm.
234
00:10:20,273 --> 00:10:21,576
Okay.
235
00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:23,412
What is that?
236
00:10:23,412 --> 00:10:27,287
Uh, it's a Pedalon
pillow scent.
237
00:10:27,287 --> 00:10:29,258
What's it called?
238
00:10:29,258 --> 00:10:33,332
Um, "Sweat Dreams, by Jesse."
239
00:10:36,573 --> 00:10:39,044
Fine. I'm going to Moe's.
240
00:10:39,044 --> 00:10:41,583
Where the only exercise you get
is lifting a mug.
241
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,854
Sometimes Moe helps
with that, too.
242
00:10:43,854 --> 00:10:47,394
That's my big boy.
Only five more to go.
243
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:49,364
That's my little drinker.
244
00:10:49,364 --> 00:10:50,433
Aww.
245
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,738
Homer, what gives?
It's only Tuesday,
246
00:10:52,738 --> 00:10:54,609
and you're drinking
like it's a Thursday.
247
00:10:54,609 --> 00:10:56,378
I got nothing
to go home to except
248
00:10:56,378 --> 00:10:58,650
except my incredibly fit wife.
249
00:10:59,853 --> 00:11:02,424
I think she has a thing
for her ride instructor.
250
00:11:02,424 --> 00:11:03,560
Eh, don't worry.
251
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,430
Those guys are losers
in real life.
252
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:07,000
Let me check out what they make.
253
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,706
$500,000?
254
00:11:09,706 --> 00:11:11,776
I wish I was a ride instructor.
255
00:11:11,776 --> 00:11:14,047
Yeah, me, too.
Except for the bike riding,
256
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:15,784
and saying encouraging things.
257
00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:18,122
And I'm not allowed
to appear on the Internet
258
00:11:18,122 --> 00:11:20,594
without a big dot
in front of my face.
259
00:11:20,594 --> 00:11:22,330
Wow, that is an improvement.
260
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:25,771
Sure is gonna be hard
to go back to "No-Dot" Moe.
261
00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,040
Just for that, I'll turn on
262
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,979
- the really harsh lighting.
- Turn it off.
263
00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:32,818
Why can't she be happy
with the other instructors?
264
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:36,660
Like Vivica, or Jen S.
Or even Jen R.?
265
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:38,362
Why always Jesse?
266
00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:40,233
Oh, did you say Jesse?
267
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:43,339
- Jesse of Pedalon?
- You guys know him?
268
00:11:43,339 --> 00:11:45,143
He is a damnation.
269
00:11:45,143 --> 00:11:47,648
Hey, you kiss your cross
with that mouth?
270
00:11:47,648 --> 00:11:49,284
I know what I said.
271
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:53,426
I could do laps in his
deep blue eyes, that jerk.
272
00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:55,631
(grumbling)
273
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:57,133
Would you listen
to yourselves?
274
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,572
Complaining that your wives
found a healthy hobby.
275
00:11:59,572 --> 00:12:03,479
I'm ashamed to be drinking till
2:00 a. m. with all of youse.
276
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:07,822
All rise for juror selection.
277
00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:11,997
LISA:
She looks understanding.
278
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,771
Christmas gift.
279
00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:17,508
Now, listen here.
280
00:12:17,508 --> 00:12:19,344
Jurors will only be released
281
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,115
for the most serious of reasons.
282
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,754
Tell you what,
if you get me out of this,
283
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,023
we could have coffee.
284
00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:27,027
Your Honor, we should
both be excused.
285
00:12:27,027 --> 00:12:29,364
As a newsman
who's seen too much,
286
00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:31,536
I can't possibly be objective.
287
00:12:31,536 --> 00:12:32,638
What about her?
288
00:12:32,638 --> 00:12:35,176
- She's my plus-one.
- Aww.
289
00:12:35,176 --> 00:12:39,217
Do you have any objections
to losing these... jurors?
290
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,290
Ah, well, they're
the only jurors I like.
291
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:46,498
Oh, boy. Aw, geez.
292
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:47,902
Don't type that part.
293
00:12:47,902 --> 00:12:49,471
And don't type the part
where I said,
294
00:12:49,471 --> 00:12:50,541
"Don't type that part."
295
00:12:50,541 --> 00:12:51,776
Ah, she's typing it.
296
00:12:51,776 --> 00:12:53,914
You know, I think I'm gonna
win this case.
297
00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:56,151
Oh, now she stops typing.
298
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,824
Jurors six and eight
are excused.
299
00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:01,796
This place makes no sense.
300
00:13:01,796 --> 00:13:02,898
You're telling me?
301
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,602
I'm on this jury while I am
302
00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:07,107
simultaneously in prison.
303
00:13:07,908 --> 00:13:10,313
Personal best, WineMomNoMore.
304
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:13,452
Big deal,
the instructor talks to you.
305
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:14,856
Marge in Charge.
306
00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:17,695
(gasps)
That's me, that's me, that's me.
307
00:13:17,695 --> 00:13:19,431
I'd like to see you
after class.
308
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,668
Meet me in the...
309
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,304
Cool Down Lounge.
310
00:13:22,304 --> 00:13:23,507
Hmm?
311
00:13:23,507 --> 00:13:25,511
Marge, I've been watching you,
312
00:13:25,511 --> 00:13:26,713
and I would like to invite you
313
00:13:26,713 --> 00:13:28,182
for a private ride.
314
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,053
♪
315
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:35,196
A personal experience,
you and me alone.
316
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:36,833
The world is our bike lane.
317
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:40,073
You mean the two of us
in the same place?
318
00:13:40,073 --> 00:13:41,308
Oh, no. God, no. No.
319
00:13:41,308 --> 00:13:42,845
The same way
we've always done it.
320
00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:44,348
You on your bike
and me on mine.
321
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:46,786
My motives are pure. Ha.
322
00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:48,389
Well, Marge?
323
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:50,026
♪ Just the two of us ♪
324
00:13:50,026 --> 00:13:53,032
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
325
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,003
This makes me feel
a little odd,
326
00:13:55,003 --> 00:13:56,840
but again,
the only bad workout
327
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,242
is the one you don't do.
328
00:13:58,242 --> 00:13:59,812
JESSE:
You got that right.
329
00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:01,382
I thought I shut this off.
330
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,486
JESSE:
Uh, there's a five minute
"secret listen."
331
00:14:03,486 --> 00:14:05,256
Y-You have to opt out.
332
00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:07,895
♪
333
00:14:10,199 --> 00:14:11,435
Here we go.
334
00:14:13,005 --> 00:14:15,343
You've got something
to say, say it.
335
00:14:16,579 --> 00:14:18,149
Nap time.
336
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,161
♪
337
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,968
And when you found the victim
lying carved up
338
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,839
like a spiral-cut ham,
339
00:14:29,839 --> 00:14:31,408
You took this photo.
340
00:14:31,408 --> 00:14:33,780
Yeah, but see how I got
the full moon
341
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,718
reflecting in the pool of blood?
342
00:14:35,718 --> 00:14:37,688
And that's just using
the iPhone 10,
343
00:14:37,688 --> 00:14:39,759
not the good one.
(chuckles) Amazing.
344
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:41,228
Can you believe this?
345
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:44,167
Longest Judge Judy
I've ever seen.
346
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,205
(scoffs)
This is not a TV show,
347
00:14:46,205 --> 00:14:48,577
and we are not
a studio audience.
348
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:52,383
And little jurors should be seen
and not heard.
349
00:14:52,383 --> 00:14:54,822
(whistling)
350
00:14:54,822 --> 00:14:57,060
♪
351
00:15:01,703 --> 00:15:03,172
(hums)
352
00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,946
WOMAN'S VOICE:
Welcome to the Private Ride.
353
00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:09,919
- Just you and your instructor.
-(beeps)
354
00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:12,558
We'll just send that
to voice mail.
355
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,595
(exotic music playing)
356
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,302
(speaking Mandarin)
357
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:20,306
That means thank you
for joining me.
358
00:15:20,306 --> 00:15:22,778
Today our pedal odyssey will
take us on
359
00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:24,615
the Great Wall of China.
360
00:15:24,615 --> 00:15:28,189
So sit back, enjoy, and...
(speaks Mandarin)
361
00:15:28,189 --> 00:15:30,694
That means
remember to hydrate.
362
00:15:30,694 --> 00:15:32,430
(exotic music continues)
363
00:15:34,702 --> 00:15:36,873
Behold the wonders of China.
364
00:15:36,873 --> 00:15:38,008
Bitcoin mines,
365
00:15:38,008 --> 00:15:41,583
forced labor camps where
children make smartphones,
366
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:44,387
and romance.
367
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,561
Marge, I know we've had
a tough few weeks,
368
00:15:47,561 --> 00:15:49,932
but I'm really gonna make
an effort to be good
369
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:51,135
till you're not mad.
370
00:15:51,135 --> 00:15:53,072
Then I'll go back
to the way I was.
371
00:15:53,072 --> 00:15:54,775
JESSE:
That's it, feel the burn.
372
00:15:54,775 --> 00:15:57,180
Feel you, feel me.
373
00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:01,856
Let's take him down.
374
00:16:01,856 --> 00:16:03,392
You got to be more specific, Homer.
375
00:16:03,392 --> 00:16:05,597
We hate lots of guys
in this bar.
376
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:08,035
I know who he means. Jesse.
377
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,337
If we did have sex,
378
00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:11,475
my wife would be
thinking of him.
379
00:16:11,475 --> 00:16:14,381
And hypothetically,
I'd be furious.
380
00:16:14,381 --> 00:16:16,853
When that guy tried
to steal Marge,
381
00:16:16,853 --> 00:16:19,859
he woke the wrong
sleeping fatso.
382
00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:22,163
I just have to find him.
383
00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,000
I can tell you where he is.
384
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,136
What? How?
385
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:26,371
You know how the Church says
386
00:16:26,371 --> 00:16:28,910
we don't share
any information?
387
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,850
It's a lie. Google bought us
six years ago,
388
00:16:31,850 --> 00:16:34,254
so here you are.
389
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:38,864
I'm gonna put a foot-shaped dent
in his beautiful ass.
390
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:40,934
Defense, closing statement.
391
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,905
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
392
00:16:42,905 --> 00:16:44,842
consider everything you've seen,
393
00:16:44,842 --> 00:16:46,880
and beyond a shadow of a doubt,
394
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,050
you will vote guilty.
395
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,921
You're the not guilty guy.
396
00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:52,858
Uh, wha-what?
397
00:16:52,858 --> 00:16:54,160
Gol-dang it.
398
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,064
Now, if there are
no further statements...
399
00:16:56,064 --> 00:16:57,601
I have a statement.
400
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,104
This is highly irregular,
401
00:16:59,104 --> 00:17:01,174
but I'm very bored,
so I'll allow it.
402
00:17:01,174 --> 00:17:03,880
Thank you. I didn't want
to be on this jury.
403
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,316
I didn't think
I was mature enough
404
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,986
to decide a criminal case.
405
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:10,192
But after seeing the nonsense
that goes on in this courtroom,
406
00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:12,463
well, you should be ashamed.
407
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:15,269
And, Your Honor,
I find you guilty
408
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:18,375
of criminal indifference
and playing Wordle
409
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:19,812
on the bench.
410
00:17:19,812 --> 00:17:22,450
"Bench."
That's what it is.
411
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,956
Ah, juror number six.
Lisa Simpson.
412
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,258
Yes, Judge?
413
00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:28,897
I find you in contempt
of court.
414
00:17:28,897 --> 00:17:30,701
Bailiff, take her away.
415
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:33,506
Now the forewoman is gonna be
the Crazy Cat Lady.
416
00:17:33,506 --> 00:17:34,875
(gibbering):
I want to take a vote.
417
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:36,278
No, too soon!
Take a vote...
418
00:17:36,278 --> 00:17:37,514
(spouting gibberish)
419
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,419
Kitty's going to--
What was it? Guilty, guilty.
420
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:45,129
And that leaves 11 jurors.
It's a mistrial.
421
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:46,833
The defendant can go free.
422
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,637
(Lisa groans)
423
00:17:48,637 --> 00:17:50,306
(knock on Jesse's door)
424
00:17:50,306 --> 00:17:52,010
Uh, excuse me, private riders,
425
00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,613
I have a guy at the door.
426
00:17:53,613 --> 00:17:54,749
Yes, may I help you?
427
00:17:54,749 --> 00:17:56,051
(Homer grunts)
428
00:17:56,051 --> 00:17:59,357
(both grunting)
429
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:03,499
You like that?
You like that, fatty?
430
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,004
Okay, so when strangling
a man, don't just
431
00:18:06,004 --> 00:18:08,510
use your arms, people,
engage that core.
432
00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:11,014
Engage. Engage.
433
00:18:11,014 --> 00:18:14,956
I'll die as I lived...
434
00:18:14,956 --> 00:18:17,026
failing and sweaty.
435
00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:19,364
Let him go.
Let him go.
436
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:21,468
Oh, I've got to save Homie.
437
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,677
(engine not turning over)
438
00:18:25,677 --> 00:18:27,413
Damn it!
439
00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:35,029
Oh, it's so hard to ride
without a screen to look at.
440
00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:38,670
Muscle memory.
Muscle memory.
441
00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:40,206
♪
442
00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:46,753
Cool.
443
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,708
Whoa!
444
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,156
Aw, screw it.
445
00:19:05,156 --> 00:19:06,258
(groans)
446
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:08,697
Whoa, was that your mom?
447
00:19:08,697 --> 00:19:11,335
In a million years my mom
would not be that cool.
448
00:19:11,335 --> 00:19:13,138
Bart, be home by 6:00.
449
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:15,076
Well, if it's not your mom,
450
00:19:15,076 --> 00:19:17,046
she stole her catchphrase.
451
00:19:17,046 --> 00:19:19,351
(panting)
452
00:19:21,656 --> 00:19:22,591
(gasping)
453
00:19:22,591 --> 00:19:26,365
You're having a thing
with my wife.
454
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,703
Dude, she doesn't even know
where I live.
455
00:19:28,703 --> 00:19:30,774
MARGE:
You get away
from my husband.
456
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:34,447
I thought you said
it was a private ride.
457
00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:36,519
Well, you should have read
the terms and conditions
458
00:19:36,519 --> 00:19:38,523
before you checked "agree," huh?
459
00:19:39,190 --> 00:19:41,128
(Marge grunting)
460
00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:43,332
That's enough, bub.
461
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:46,304
That's it, Marge,
work those quads.
462
00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:48,777
I'm tired of men
telling me what to do.
463
00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:51,048
(grunts)
464
00:19:51,048 --> 00:19:53,753
(Jesse screaming)
465
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:59,832
Homer, let's go home.
466
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,334
Be sure to rate your ride,
467
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,707
and use Jesse32
for special discounts
468
00:20:03,707 --> 00:20:04,842
in our online store.
469
00:20:04,842 --> 00:20:08,850
Not valid without any other
discount codes. (groans)
470
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:11,923
Once again I have to thank you
for saving me
471
00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:13,993
when I failed at saving you.
472
00:20:13,993 --> 00:20:17,233
BOTH:
♪ Just the two of us ♪
473
00:20:17,233 --> 00:20:19,505
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
474
00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:21,374
♪ Just the two of us ♪
475
00:20:21,374 --> 00:20:24,481
♪ Just the two
of us ♪
476
00:20:24,481 --> 00:20:26,451
♪ Just the two of us ♪
477
00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:29,892
♪ Building castles in the sky ♪
478
00:20:29,892 --> 00:20:31,996
♪ Just the two of us ♪
479
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:34,334
♪ You and I. ♪
480
00:20:36,138 --> 00:20:38,576
Is that my bike?
481
00:20:38,576 --> 00:20:41,281
HOMER AND MARGE:
♪ Just the two of us ♪
482
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,020
♪ We can make it if we try ♪
483
00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:45,824
♪ Just the two of us. ♪
484
00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:52,270
I'm interested
in buying a bike.
485
00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:54,374
Well, you have come
to the right place.
486
00:20:54,374 --> 00:20:56,278
I'll take it from here.
487
00:20:56,278 --> 00:20:59,451
(chuckles, sighs)
I used to make 500 grand a year.
488
00:20:59,451 --> 00:21:01,789
And I used to be king
of South Jersey.
489
00:21:01,789 --> 00:21:05,262
My big mistake was moving
into Middlesex County.
490
00:21:05,262 --> 00:21:08,536
Why did I get so cocky?
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
491
00:21:08,536 --> 00:21:11,208
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
492
00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:13,713
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
493
00:21:13,713 --> 00:21:18,322
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
494
00:21:29,778 --> 00:21:31,716
Shh!