1 00:00:45,759 --> 00:00:47,159 D'oh! 2 00:00:59,989 --> 00:01:03,989 ♪ The Simpsons 25x01 ♪ Homerland Original Air Date on September 29, 2013 3 00:01:03,990 --> 00:01:07,490 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 4 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:15,588 America faces an ominous new threat-- 5 00:01:15,622 --> 00:01:17,456 terrorism. 6 00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:18,924 We must be vigilant, 7 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:22,028 secure every home, every church, 8 00:01:22,062 --> 00:01:24,930 every Kwik-E-Mart and presidential library. 9 00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:26,265 I grew up 10 00:01:26,299 --> 00:01:27,566 in a little town in Arkansas, 11 00:01:27,601 --> 00:01:28,567 whose name, ironically, 12 00:01:28,602 --> 00:01:29,935 was Terrorism. 13 00:01:41,615 --> 00:01:45,651 Ooh, there's new marshmallows in the Belfast Charms! 14 00:01:45,685 --> 00:01:48,387 No! No, that's Bart's cereal. 15 00:01:48,422 --> 00:01:51,957 It's the only way I can get him to take 16 00:01:51,992 --> 00:01:54,260 his "vitamins." 17 00:01:56,296 --> 00:01:58,264 Eat up. 18 00:01:58,298 --> 00:02:00,666 The sum of the square roots of any two sides 19 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,468 of an isosceles triangle is equal 20 00:02:02,502 --> 00:02:04,103 to the square root of the remaining side. 21 00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,905 That's not right. Yes, it is. 22 00:02:05,939 --> 00:02:08,441 They're my lines as the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. 23 00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:11,077 Okay, I'm ready for the Nuclear Workers Convention. 24 00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:14,680 It's a little sad-- the guys who did the funny skit last year, 25 00:02:14,714 --> 00:02:16,315 well, they're all very sick. 26 00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:17,883 Did you pack everything you need? 27 00:02:17,918 --> 00:02:19,151 Even better. 28 00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:22,388 I never unpacked from the time we went to Hawaii. 29 00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:27,493 Whoo! 30 00:02:27,527 --> 00:02:29,995 My lava's almost cooled! 31 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,601 I'm still cold. 32 00:02:35,635 --> 00:02:39,805 Oh, a whole weekend away from my family. 33 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,374 I can't believe I have to miss taking the kids 34 00:02:42,409 --> 00:02:44,677 to buy gym uniforms. 35 00:02:44,711 --> 00:02:46,712 Send me a picture? 36 00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:50,182 Poor guy. 37 00:02:50,217 --> 00:02:51,851 Salt of the earth. 38 00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:59,158 Convention! Convention! 39 00:02:59,192 --> 00:03:01,994 Convention! Convention! 40 00:03:02,028 --> 00:03:03,562 Convention! 41 00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:05,599 Oxygen masks on. 42 00:03:05,624 --> 00:03:06,903 Convention! 43 00:03:07,393 --> 00:03:08,903 Convention! 44 00:03:20,278 --> 00:03:21,683 Man I love conventions. 45 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:24,579 Yeah, they’re the perfect combination of work and binge drinking. 46 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:27,219 Now look guys, we are here for one important reason. 47 00:03:27,244 --> 00:03:29,099 To get free swag. 48 00:03:29,124 --> 00:03:32,774 Swag, I'm gonna grab forever. 49 00:03:32,799 --> 00:03:35,758 Somethin' I really don't need. Swag! 50 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,651 I'm gonna have 40 key chains. 51 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,080 And I don't even have 40 keys. 52 00:03:41,105 --> 00:03:41,828 Swag! 53 00:03:41,853 --> 00:03:43,222 Interested in learning a procedure 54 00:03:43,247 --> 00:03:44,672 that could save your life? 55 00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:47,239 ♪ More free stuff ♪ 56 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,175 ♪ More free stuff ♪ Uh, all I have are these spec sheets. 57 00:03:49,209 --> 00:03:50,409 ♪ More free stuff, more free stuff ♪ 58 00:03:50,443 --> 00:03:52,578 ♪ Swag! 59 00:03:58,919 --> 00:04:01,120 There's that woman I always have 60 00:04:01,154 --> 00:04:03,589 a "same time next year" affair with. 61 00:04:05,625 --> 00:04:07,059 And she's with her frumpy friend 62 00:04:07,093 --> 00:04:08,961 I always have dinner with when you two disappear. 63 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:10,296 Mm-hmm-hmm. 64 00:04:11,331 --> 00:04:14,066 Put up your nukes! 65 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,367 Halpern! 66 00:04:15,402 --> 00:04:17,369 Hey-hey! The wild man of Wichita! 67 00:04:17,404 --> 00:04:18,771 I still haven't forgiven you 68 00:04:18,805 --> 00:04:20,873 for putting that dead goat in my bed. 69 00:04:20,907 --> 00:04:23,175 He wasn't dead till you rolled over on him! Ha! 70 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:24,310 Oh, yeah. Take that. 71 00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:25,811 In your face, boy. 72 00:04:25,845 --> 00:04:27,313 Ow! Ow! Hey! 73 00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:31,083 I'll kill you! You son of a...! 74 00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:33,085 Oh, come here, you. 75 00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:36,589 Oh... Ah, yeah. 76 00:04:36,623 --> 00:04:41,994 It could be, if we introduce 77 00:04:42,028 --> 00:04:44,330 Halpern, what will you think of next? 78 00:04:44,364 --> 00:04:45,998 Nothing. This is it. 79 00:04:46,032 --> 00:04:48,300 Hey, here's a brainstorm for you. 80 00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:52,004 Check if it's plugged in before you call I.T.! 81 00:04:52,038 --> 00:04:54,340 You think I like talking you monkeys 82 00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:56,508 through a password change?! 83 00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:05,985 To texting! 84 00:05:10,523 --> 00:05:11,924 Hello. 85 00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:13,759 Where's Homer? 86 00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:16,629 Homer, Homer-- when did I see him last? 87 00:05:16,663 --> 00:05:17,630 Geez, I don't know. 88 00:05:19,065 --> 00:05:21,533 Yeah, Homer's a great guy, but that doesn't mean 89 00:05:21,568 --> 00:05:24,203 I constantly think about whether he's still alive or not. 90 00:05:29,442 --> 00:05:31,944 You're taking a picture of 'em in their moment of grief? 91 00:05:31,978 --> 00:05:33,178 It's okay. 92 00:05:33,213 --> 00:05:35,547 This camera has an "auto cheer" feature. 93 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,517 Aw... Aw... 94 00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,519 Well, he's not in the Boise morgue. 95 00:05:40,553 --> 00:05:42,721 Maybe he was mistaken for a dead elephant 96 00:05:42,756 --> 00:05:44,857 and flown back to Kenya. 97 00:05:44,891 --> 00:05:46,859 You're talking about my husband. 98 00:05:46,893 --> 00:05:49,895 To spare your feelings, we'll just call him the Blob. 99 00:05:49,929 --> 00:05:52,270 Two to one says the Blob is 100 00:05:52,295 --> 00:05:54,565 stuck in the water-intake pipe at the reservoir. 101 00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:58,704 Please, I need people here who are helpful and sensitive. 102 00:05:58,738 --> 00:06:01,073 Sorry I'm late, everyone. I had some trouble 103 00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:03,542 getting the voice mails off the 9-1-1 line. 104 00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:06,045 Why does everyone have to talk so fast and panicky? 105 00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:09,348 A man with a gun is in my house. 106 00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:10,516 Gibberish. 107 00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:18,257 Hello, everyone. 108 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,559 Homie! What happened to you? 109 00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:23,329 I overslept, lost my cell phone, missed my flight. 110 00:06:23,363 --> 00:06:25,264 Why didn't you call us? 111 00:06:25,298 --> 00:06:27,266 Well, all the pay phones at the airport 112 00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,234 were replaced by self-serve yogurt. 113 00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:32,571 I ate all the cookie dough toppings a man could want. 114 00:06:32,605 --> 00:06:35,574 So many cookies will never be born. 115 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:37,643 Well, I guess all that matters is, 116 00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:40,679 everything's back to normal. 117 00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,932 Yes. Back to normal. 118 00:07:07,706 --> 00:07:09,340 Dear Christian God... 119 00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:11,842 Hey! Sorry. Dear God-- 120 00:07:11,877 --> 00:07:13,511 you know which one I mean-- 121 00:07:13,545 --> 00:07:15,913 thank you for returning our Homie. 122 00:07:15,947 --> 00:07:19,150 He's still got a lot of unfinished business down here. 123 00:07:20,619 --> 00:07:22,219 Amen. 124 00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:24,622 I'm glad you're back, Dad. 125 00:07:24,656 --> 00:07:27,558 It's hard to sleep with one unkissed cheek. 126 00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:29,560 Yeah, it's tough being man of the house. 127 00:07:29,594 --> 00:07:31,462 You left some big underpants to fill. 128 00:07:31,496 --> 00:07:33,964 I didn't know they made Underoos in size 52. 129 00:07:33,999 --> 00:07:35,900 They're called Superoos, son. 130 00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:38,402 With pictures of the cast of The Expendables. 131 00:07:38,437 --> 00:07:41,439 More like The Expandables. 132 00:07:42,974 --> 00:07:44,542 Why didn't you strangle me? 133 00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:47,778 That kind of small-scale violence solves nothing. 134 00:07:47,813 --> 00:07:49,280 Couldn't agree more. 135 00:07:49,314 --> 00:07:50,881 Now to celebrate. 136 00:07:50,916 --> 00:07:54,919 Ta-da! Pork chops crusted with Cheeto dust. 137 00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:01,525 Uh, I'll pass on the pork. 138 00:08:05,597 --> 00:08:09,333 I'll just enjoy these green beans with slivered almonds. 139 00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:11,969 Mmm, so slivered. 140 00:08:12,003 --> 00:08:14,004 Mmm. 141 00:08:16,975 --> 00:08:20,945 Bart, why is the dad I always wished for creeping me out? 142 00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:24,548 I don't know. 'Cause you're incapable of experiencing joy? 143 00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:26,117 Yay. 144 00:08:26,151 --> 00:08:27,518 Point taken. 145 00:08:27,552 --> 00:08:29,787 Dad, what's that on your lap? 146 00:08:29,821 --> 00:08:30,955 A napkin. 147 00:08:34,493 --> 00:08:36,093 Glad you're back, buddy. 148 00:08:36,128 --> 00:08:38,462 You got a lot of catching up to do. 149 00:08:47,205 --> 00:08:49,774 Can I just get a glass of water? 150 00:08:49,808 --> 00:08:52,276 Water? That stuff killed my grandmother. 151 00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:54,979 So sad. 152 00:09:00,318 --> 00:09:01,886 I've been having 153 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,155 snuggle dreams. 154 00:09:04,189 --> 00:09:07,158 Marge, I changed in Boise. 155 00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:10,161 I'm not sure a man who eats right and doesn't drink 156 00:09:10,195 --> 00:09:11,562 can be good in bed. 157 00:09:11,596 --> 00:09:13,998 Well, what made you...? You're so beautiful 158 00:09:14,032 --> 00:09:17,168 when I cut you off in the middle of a question. 159 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,940 Oh. Oh, my. 160 00:09:22,974 --> 00:09:24,742 What's that thing you're doing? 161 00:09:24,776 --> 00:09:27,178 Moving my body. 162 00:09:27,212 --> 00:09:29,680 Oh. 163 00:09:33,285 --> 00:09:35,886 Don't you think it's weird that Dad stopped eating pork 164 00:09:35,921 --> 00:09:37,321 and drinking beer? 165 00:09:37,355 --> 00:09:38,823 Who cares what happened? 166 00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:40,357 Daddy's back. 167 00:09:54,105 --> 00:09:56,574 Something happened to Dad on that trip. 168 00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:58,409 This is worse than when he went to New Orleans 169 00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:00,711 and came back with a Southern accent. 170 00:10:00,745 --> 00:10:03,214 Uh, how y'all doin'? 171 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,320 Chief Wiggum, how come every time there's a terrorist chatter 172 00:10:11,323 --> 00:10:13,724 in this town, you come to me? Lay off, Apu. 173 00:10:13,758 --> 00:10:15,726 When I look at people, I don't see colors. 174 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,629 I just see crackpot religions. Chief, is there 175 00:10:18,663 --> 00:10:21,065 really a terrorist threat to Springfield? 176 00:10:21,099 --> 00:10:24,468 Yeah. I got a very important phone call. 177 00:10:24,502 --> 00:10:26,270 Yello? 178 00:10:26,304 --> 00:10:28,105 Is this line secure? 179 00:10:28,139 --> 00:10:30,774 Uh, it's a little jiggly but it'll hold. 180 00:10:30,809 --> 00:10:34,612 We got intel-- uh, that's short for a word I don't know... 181 00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:36,780 Intelligence? I don't believe so, no. 182 00:10:36,815 --> 00:10:40,885 Anyway, this intel says that someone in town has been turned 183 00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:43,487 and they're working for terrorists. 184 00:10:43,521 --> 00:10:46,390 Now, I got to go check my other suspects. 185 00:10:46,424 --> 00:10:48,225 Uh-huh. 186 00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:50,361 But I may be back. 187 00:10:53,598 --> 00:10:56,100 Huh? 188 00:10:56,134 --> 00:10:59,103 Dad's kneeling on a prayer mat. 189 00:10:59,137 --> 00:11:01,772 He doesn't believe in kneeling. 190 00:11:05,477 --> 00:11:08,512 Huh? It looks like he's praying. 191 00:11:09,547 --> 00:11:12,116 To the east. The Middle East. 192 00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:13,784 Mecca. 193 00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:22,893 He's targeting the nuclear plant. 194 00:11:27,699 --> 00:11:29,667 Meow? 195 00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:31,936 If you are a cat, prove it. 196 00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:34,939 Do you hate Mondays, like Garfield? 197 00:11:34,973 --> 00:11:37,841 And do you love lasagna, like me? 198 00:11:37,876 --> 00:11:39,276 Meow. 199 00:11:39,311 --> 00:11:41,345 Okay then. 200 00:11:46,318 --> 00:11:48,886 Mom, I have to tell you something about Dad, 201 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,120 something big! 202 00:11:50,155 --> 00:11:53,490 I know. He's changed. 203 00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:54,558 Exactly. 204 00:11:54,592 --> 00:11:55,793 For the better. 205 00:11:55,827 --> 00:11:57,361 And men don't change that way. 206 00:11:57,395 --> 00:11:58,068 But-but... 207 00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,830 Do you know what we're doing on Sunday? 208 00:11:59,831 --> 00:12:02,366 Brunch with the Hibberts. Then the tile store. 209 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,770 He's like a husband in a widow's memory-- perfect. 210 00:12:09,441 --> 00:12:11,408 Perfect. 211 00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:13,677 Perfect. 212 00:12:21,619 --> 00:12:23,921 FBI. 213 00:12:23,955 --> 00:12:26,156 I think someone I love is a terrorist. 214 00:12:26,191 --> 00:12:27,758 Does that make me crazy? 215 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:29,760 No, no. Not at all. 216 00:12:29,794 --> 00:12:32,763 It took me two hours to get home. Traffic was crazy. 217 00:12:32,797 --> 00:12:34,598 Are you people talking about me? 218 00:12:34,632 --> 00:12:36,767 No. We're not even here right now. 219 00:12:47,812 --> 00:12:49,780 742 Evergreen Terrace. I'll be right there. 220 00:12:49,814 --> 00:12:51,715 And don't believe what you've heard about me. 221 00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:54,752 I haven't heard anything about you except from you. 222 00:12:56,454 --> 00:12:59,623 Hanging up the receiver, eh? 223 00:12:59,657 --> 00:13:01,525 How much did you hear? 224 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:02,860 How much did you say? 225 00:13:02,894 --> 00:13:03,927 Nothing, really. 226 00:13:03,962 --> 00:13:06,096 So I heard half of nothing. 227 00:13:06,131 --> 00:13:09,133 Dad, you're scary when you're calm and focused. 228 00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,869 Lisa, I'll miss you when this is all over. 229 00:13:11,903 --> 00:13:13,237 When what's all over? 230 00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:15,239 This conversation. 231 00:13:15,273 --> 00:13:17,441 See you on the other side. 232 00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:18,776 What other side? 233 00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:20,711 Of the house. Where the fireplace is. 234 00:13:20,745 --> 00:13:22,446 We're toasting marshmallows. 235 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,214 Marsh... 236 00:13:24,249 --> 00:13:26,450 mallows. 237 00:13:37,044 --> 00:13:39,012 I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you? 238 00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:40,847 Agent Crawford, FBI. 239 00:13:40,881 --> 00:13:43,082 You guys know I don't talk to field agents. 240 00:13:43,117 --> 00:13:44,918 Get your boss on the phone. 241 00:13:44,952 --> 00:13:47,553 I'm not here for you. I'm here for your dad. 242 00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:49,555 What do you want with his dad? 243 00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:51,190 Go back to sleep, Milhouse. 244 00:13:51,225 --> 00:13:52,592 How do you know my name? 245 00:13:52,626 --> 00:13:55,128 I didn't. But I do now. 246 00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:58,298 Don't talk. Okay. 247 00:13:58,332 --> 00:13:59,966 I want you to know I'm the best there is 248 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,391 at finding out what you're up to. 249 00:14:01,416 --> 00:14:02,001 Ooh. 250 00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:04,137 I can torture you. I can give you incredible sex. 251 00:14:04,171 --> 00:14:06,372 Or you can just tell me what I want to know. 252 00:14:06,407 --> 00:14:07,383 What was the first one again? 253 00:14:07,408 --> 00:14:08,408 I see. 254 00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,209 You're stupid. Hey. 255 00:14:10,244 --> 00:14:12,211 I'm the one in bed with two beautiful women. 256 00:14:13,247 --> 00:14:16,149 You think I'm beautiful? Oh! 257 00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:18,117 In a breaking-and-entering kind of way. 258 00:14:18,152 --> 00:14:20,119 Well, give me something, or I'm not leaving. 259 00:14:21,922 --> 00:14:25,325 Let's just say I've got to get to work on time. 260 00:14:25,359 --> 00:14:28,728 And if you knew me, you'd know just how odd that sounds. 261 00:14:28,762 --> 00:14:30,596 Who are you talking to? 262 00:14:30,631 --> 00:14:32,165 No one. 263 00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:35,301 You're in too deep, Annie. Get out. 264 00:14:35,336 --> 00:14:37,303 Are you real, or my imagination? 265 00:14:37,338 --> 00:14:39,706 Either way, my advice is sound. 266 00:14:41,308 --> 00:14:43,943 I love my job. 267 00:14:43,978 --> 00:14:48,348 HOMER ♪ It is the climax 268 00:14:48,382 --> 00:14:50,283 ♪ What everything's been 269 00:14:50,317 --> 00:14:54,754 ♪ Buil... 270 00:14:54,788 --> 00:14:56,322 ♪ Di-ing to 271 00:14:56,357 --> 00:15:01,361 ♪ Hope it pays off for you 272 00:15:01,395 --> 00:15:02,795 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh. 273 00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:05,665 What you got there, Homer? 274 00:15:05,699 --> 00:15:07,200 Weird thing under a tarp. 275 00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:09,869 That's what I thought. Have a good one. 276 00:15:09,903 --> 00:15:12,538 You laugh now, but you won't be laughing soon. 277 00:15:12,573 --> 00:15:14,507 He's right, because now I go back 278 00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:16,976 to remembering that my cat just died. 279 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:19,512 He's in. 280 00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:22,348 One sunrise burrito, please. 281 00:15:22,383 --> 00:15:23,316 Fine! 282 00:15:26,153 --> 00:15:28,388 Facial recognition required. 283 00:15:29,857 --> 00:15:31,591 Welcome, Mr. Burns. 284 00:15:44,438 --> 00:15:45,805 Dad? 285 00:15:45,839 --> 00:15:47,473 Huh? How'd you get in here? 286 00:15:47,508 --> 00:15:49,876 Girl Scout cookies get you in anywhere. 287 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,310 Please don't do this, Dad. 288 00:15:51,345 --> 00:15:53,513 I don't know what horrors you saw in Boise, 289 00:15:53,547 --> 00:15:55,915 but it's not worth blowing up everyone you love. 290 00:15:55,949 --> 00:15:57,417 I'm not blowing up the plant. 291 00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:58,818 Oh. 292 00:15:58,852 --> 00:16:00,253 Just harmlessly stopping it 293 00:16:00,287 --> 00:16:02,722 from doing more damage to Mother Earth. 294 00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:04,157 Is that something 295 00:16:04,191 --> 00:16:06,092 your terrorist masters told you to tell me? 296 00:16:06,126 --> 00:16:07,760 Yes. 297 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:10,997 My terrorist masters are always talking about you, Lisa. 298 00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:15,301 I missed my flight, so I got in a van... 299 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,209 ...with some eco-friendly activists. 300 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,344 They wanted gas, grass or ass, 301 00:16:25,379 --> 00:16:27,880 and, brother, I had the ass. 302 00:16:27,915 --> 00:16:30,249 They taught me something I found shocking. 303 00:16:30,284 --> 00:16:33,386 Pigs aren't happy to be made into pork chops. 304 00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:35,721 This T-shirt lied to me. 305 00:16:35,756 --> 00:16:39,392 And they also gave me an alcohol detox. 306 00:16:39,426 --> 00:16:41,494 ♪ Nothing's shakin' on Shakedown Street ♪ 307 00:16:43,697 --> 00:16:45,898 ♪ Used to be the heart of town 308 00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:50,870 ♪ Don't tell me this town ain't got no heart... ♪ 309 00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:52,605 Oh! Oh! 310 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:56,375 Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, 311 00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:59,612 and it's only the end of the first verse! 312 00:16:59,646 --> 00:17:01,881 But I saw you praying to Mecca. 313 00:17:01,915 --> 00:17:04,784 Lisa, I've never prayed to a city in my life, 314 00:17:04,818 --> 00:17:07,720 and if I did, it would be Hershey, Pennsylvania. 315 00:17:07,754 --> 00:17:10,823 I was kneeling on the affirmation rug they gave me. 316 00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:13,593 See? 317 00:17:13,627 --> 00:17:15,161 Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 318 00:17:15,195 --> 00:17:16,596 Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 319 00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:17,964 Ow, this rug is hard on my knees. 320 00:17:17,998 --> 00:17:20,433 But wait, wait, wait. What is this? 321 00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:22,735 Lisa, the most horrible truth of all is, 322 00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:26,439 the plant where I work poisons our water and our air. 323 00:17:26,473 --> 00:17:28,741 I've told you that a million times. 324 00:17:28,775 --> 00:17:32,445 Aw, sweetie, you told me a thousand things a million times. 325 00:17:32,479 --> 00:17:35,181 Even with a brain the size of a dinosaur's, 326 00:17:35,215 --> 00:17:36,949 I couldn't take that in. 327 00:17:36,984 --> 00:17:38,751 Anyhoo, this canister 328 00:17:38,785 --> 00:17:41,821 is full of spoiled milk and utility-grade chicken, 329 00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:44,457 both sold to me by Apu this morning. 330 00:17:44,491 --> 00:17:45,825 When I release it 331 00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:47,593 into the AC system, 332 00:17:47,628 --> 00:17:49,929 it'll stink up the plant forever. 333 00:17:49,963 --> 00:17:53,099 No one can use it, but no one gets hurt. 334 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,835 Just like when I smell up the toilet. 335 00:17:55,869 --> 00:17:56,836 Huh? 336 00:17:59,873 --> 00:18:00,840 There he is. 337 00:18:00,874 --> 00:18:02,708 Use your fattest handcuffs. 338 00:18:02,743 --> 00:18:04,510 Hey. Uh, it's not what you think, Lou. 339 00:18:04,545 --> 00:18:05,645 Lou, Lou, Lou. 340 00:18:05,679 --> 00:18:06,646 Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou-Lou...! 341 00:18:08,048 --> 00:18:10,116 I can complete my dad's mission 342 00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:12,718 just like George W. Bush. 343 00:18:12,753 --> 00:18:15,521 I can't shoot a little girl. 344 00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:17,123 Ah, damn it! 345 00:18:17,157 --> 00:18:18,691 There's some things they just don't teach you 346 00:18:18,725 --> 00:18:22,261 in the police academy... movies. 347 00:18:33,707 --> 00:18:35,508 We did it, Dad. We did it. 348 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:36,876 We sure did. 349 00:18:37,911 --> 00:18:40,179 You weren't shot. 350 00:18:40,214 --> 00:18:42,915 No, I was just up late watching a movie. 351 00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,718 Something with William Holden and... 352 00:18:51,925 --> 00:18:53,893 Your plan failed. 353 00:18:53,927 --> 00:18:55,248 Thank God this plant has never had 354 00:18:55,262 --> 00:18:56,662 a functioning air conditioner. 355 00:18:56,697 --> 00:18:58,364 Wait a minute, Burns. 356 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,166 You don't have a functioning AC system at a nuclear plant? 357 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,567 That's against the law. 358 00:19:01,602 --> 00:19:03,202 That's impossible. 359 00:19:03,237 --> 00:19:05,004 Smithers, didn't we move this plant to China? 360 00:19:05,038 --> 00:19:06,405 Sir, that's two years from now, 361 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,907 and you're not supposed to tell anyone. 362 00:19:07,941 --> 00:19:08,975 Oopsie. 363 00:19:10,711 --> 00:19:13,112 There isn't a prison made that can hold me. 364 00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:15,281 Prisons are still made of mud and wattles, right? 365 00:19:15,315 --> 00:19:18,918 No. Concrete. 366 00:19:18,952 --> 00:19:21,254 You know, Dad, just because your mission's complete, 367 00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:24,290 it doesn't mean you have to go back to pork eating 368 00:19:24,324 --> 00:19:26,726 and beer... drinking. 369 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,861 A beer from the sky! 370 00:19:28,895 --> 00:19:31,264 It's a sign! 371 00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:36,035 Yeah, this equipment will pay for itself 372 00:19:36,069 --> 00:19:37,670 in one night of binging. 373 00:19:40,807 --> 00:19:44,610 I wish a mission could bring me closer to someone, but it can't. 374 00:19:44,645 --> 00:19:47,747 Okay, it's time for me to walk alone into the sunset. 375 00:19:50,417 --> 00:19:51,984 That's better. 376 00:20:13,231 --> 00:20:16,233 Amazingly, the hamster's older than I am. 377 00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:22,802 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 378 00:21:02,575 --> 00:21:03,903 Shh!