1
00:00:05,231 --> 00:00:06,630
(tires screech)
2
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:09,491
D'oh!
3
00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:12,219
-(tires screeching)
-(grunting)
4
00:00:19,595 --> 00:00:21,562
♪
5
00:00:28,678 --> 00:00:32,756
I am so excited for
the scout jamboree this weekend.
6
00:00:32,758 --> 00:00:35,534
Dad, hand over the family bugle!
7
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,869
Here she is!
8
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,929
Old Blowy.
9
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:40,113
(blows bad note)
10
00:00:40,115 --> 00:00:43,024
-(fanfare playing)
-Hmm?
11
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,026
What? You're not a boy!
12
00:00:45,028 --> 00:00:46,937
You can't join
the Boy Explorers!
13
00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:48,863
And that's a flugelhorn!
14
00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:51,032
Yes. It's the hardest horn.
15
00:00:51,034 --> 00:00:53,034
And, FYI, I did join.
16
00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:55,612
And I already have
three badges--
17
00:00:55,614 --> 00:00:56,889
environmentalism,
18
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:57,964
badge-receiving,
19
00:00:57,966 --> 00:00:59,892
and sibling rivalry.
20
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,560
Come on, you two...
21
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,970
MALE HACKER (distorted):
Attention, corporate overlords,
22
00:01:03,972 --> 00:01:06,381
we are Pseudo-nonymous,
23
00:01:06,383 --> 00:01:09,459
and we have taken over
this broadcast.
24
00:01:09,461 --> 00:01:12,629
We are the anarchist collective
of nameless hacktivists
25
00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:15,632
who published the internal
emails of Waffle House
26
00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:19,244
and brought Home Depot's
"Find a store near you" feature
27
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,138
to its knees.
28
00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:25,233
FEMALE HACKER:
Now we have hacked into
the Disney Corporation's servers
29
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:29,254
and seized hundreds of hours
of never-before-aired footage
30
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,257
from the television show
The Simpsons.
31
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,742
Stories so ill-conceived,
32
00:01:34,744 --> 00:01:36,244
so idiotic
33
00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:38,322
that their exposure
would destroy
34
00:01:38,324 --> 00:01:41,433
the value
of the very I.P. itself.
35
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:45,604
Until we are paid a ransom
of $20 million in Bitcoin,
36
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,832
we will air
these show-destroying scenes
37
00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:50,109
one after another,
38
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,236
starting now.
39
00:01:54,857 --> 00:01:57,116
No, no, it can't be true!
40
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,951
It is true, Carl.
41
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:01,027
There never was a Lenny.
42
00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:04,698
So Lenny was just a figment
of my imagination?
43
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:06,291
I... I made him up?
44
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,443
Yeah, your psyche
created "Lenny"
45
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,963
to help you deal
with a terrible trauma there.
46
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,633
-What trauma?
-Finding out your previous
best friend wasn't real.
47
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,301
It's kind of a thing with you.
48
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,638
Huh. Hey, I haven't seen you
in here before.
49
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,365
I'm Carl. What's your name?
50
00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,124
Nice to meet you, Steven.
51
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,093
Aw, crap, here we go again.
52
00:02:26,205 --> 00:02:28,814
Now you see
we mean business, Disney.
53
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,559
You will submit $20 million
in Bitcoin to our crypto wallet
54
00:02:32,561 --> 00:02:34,711
at the following address.
55
00:02:34,713 --> 00:02:36,062
Until the payment arrives,
56
00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:38,732
we will keep playing
these nonsensical clips
57
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:41,034
no one was ever meant to see.
58
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,979
What's his name?
59
00:02:44,981 --> 00:02:46,165
Number Eight.
60
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,575
I mean, Santa's Little Helper.
61
00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:50,002
(thunder crashes)
62
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,154
Greetings,
lamewads from the past!
63
00:02:53,156 --> 00:02:56,491
I have come back in time to
reveal the events of the future,
64
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:59,160
so that you can amaze the world
65
00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:03,256
with your uncannily accurate
predictions!
66
00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:05,350
Less yelling, more foretelling.
67
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,594
My first shocking prediction is,
68
00:03:07,596 --> 00:03:09,079
in 2016,
69
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:12,632
the Nobel Prize in Economics
will go to...
70
00:03:12,634 --> 00:03:14,601
Bengt R. Holmström!
71
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:17,103
Why would anyone care
if we predicted that?
72
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:18,363
I don't know, but they will.
73
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,106
Do you have anything
a little more...
74
00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:22,092
oh, impressive?
75
00:03:22,094 --> 00:03:23,685
Donald Trump
is gonna be president.
76
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:26,538
(screams) Less impressive!
Less impressive!
77
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,766
Okay, let's see. You're gonna
want to mention gas hoarding,
78
00:03:29,768 --> 00:03:30,876
pandemics,
79
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,954
Germany beats Brazil
in the 2014 World Cup,
80
00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,196
Disney buys Fox.
81
00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,031
And then they both go under?!
82
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,443
No, they're both absorbed
by Panda Express.
83
00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:42,054
Pretty much everything now
is Panda Express.
84
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,538
-That makes sense.
-I get it.
85
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,557
Ooh! Orange chicken.
86
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,880
Arr.
87
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,958
Yarr.
88
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,401
Aye.
89
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,694
-Yarr!
-Aye!
90
00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:00,480
(gulping)
91
00:04:00,482 --> 00:04:01,573
Yarr?
92
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,033
(chuckles):
Aye.
93
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,988
Yarr!
94
00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:09,331
Aye!
95
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,660
Aye?
96
00:04:13,662 --> 00:04:15,570
Yarr.
97
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:16,663
Aye?
98
00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:17,673
Yarr!
99
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,259
Aye?
100
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:21,167
Yarr!
101
00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:23,987
-Aye! Aye!
-Yarr! Yarr!
102
00:04:23,989 --> 00:04:25,222
-Aye!
-Yarr!
103
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,267
Aye!
104
00:04:29,011 --> 00:04:30,160
(sighs):
Aye!
105
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:31,828
(sighs):
Yarr.
106
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,163
Yarr.
107
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:38,068
-Yarr, yarr, yarr, yarr...!
-Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye,
aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!
108
00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,449
Till the morrow, chums!
109
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,525
(groans)
110
00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:48,120
-(children laughing)
-(humming happily)
111
00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:51,531
(groans)
112
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,366
WOMAN (New York accent):
Is that you, babe?
113
00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:55,685
(New York accent):
Yeah, yeah, I'm home.
114
00:04:55,687 --> 00:04:58,446
-Daddy! Daddy! How was school?
-Hey.
115
00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,632
It ain't school for Daddy,
sweetheart.
116
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,858
It's work.
117
00:05:01,860 --> 00:05:05,045
Soul-sucking, grueling work.
118
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:06,454
Then why don't you quit?
119
00:05:06,456 --> 00:05:09,032
Always with the quitting,
this one.
120
00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:11,493
I can't do that, Doreen!
121
00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:15,981
The police department
needs someone inside the school!
122
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,983
So why's it got to be you?
123
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,059
Look at me, Didi.
124
00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,061
I'm the only 36-year-old
125
00:05:21,063 --> 00:05:23,063
who can pass for ten!
126
00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:25,065
How 'bout passing
for a good father?
127
00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:26,566
The kids hardly know you.
128
00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:29,661
You're out every afternoon
till 3:00 p.m.
129
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,721
4:00 if there's chess club.
130
00:05:31,723 --> 00:05:32,998
You think I want to be there?
131
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,649
Martin likes chess!
132
00:05:34,651 --> 00:05:36,168
Not me!
133
00:05:37,412 --> 00:05:41,823
I don't know where Martin ends
and my Reggie begins!
134
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,967
(crying)
135
00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:50,682
Aw, maybe you're right.
136
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,517
Maybe I am in too deep.
137
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,854
It's just, when I was diagnosed
with... this,
138
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,248
I said,
"I'm not gonna let it beat me.
139
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:00,266
I'm gonna use it for good!"
140
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:02,861
I'm doing good, aren't I?
141
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,029
You are, Reg.
142
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,923
You're a great role model
for your kids.
143
00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:08,867
All three of 'em.
144
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,760
(gasps)
You mean...?
145
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:11,853
I do.
146
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:15,098
(distorted): They still
haven't paid the ransom.
147
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,525
Did they not see
the nonsense we just released?
148
00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:19,603
How is Martin Prince
an adult cop?
149
00:06:19,605 --> 00:06:21,880
(distorted):
Well, maybe I overestimated
150
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,957
how much
Disney cares about Lenny.
151
00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:25,717
No, it's not your fault.
152
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:28,220
You're the finest
digital terrorist I know.
153
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:31,965
Your malware shut down the
Portland Airport for two weeks.
154
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:35,135
(chuckles)
Everyone missed Thanksgiving.
155
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:37,396
It's sweet you remembered.
156
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,957
Aw, you're sweet, too.
(chuckles)
157
00:06:40,959 --> 00:06:42,734
We should probably get back
to...
158
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,719
(non-distorted):
blackmailing
the major corporation.
159
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:47,981
Wait! Why did the voice-changing
app switch off?
160
00:06:47,983 --> 00:06:51,392
(non-distorted British voice):
Bollocks. I didn't upgrade
to the premium edition,
161
00:06:51,394 --> 00:06:53,970
and the free trial period
ran out, I'm afraid.
162
00:06:53,972 --> 00:06:55,747
I am so daft.
163
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,398
Oh, my God, you're British?
164
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,994
That must be delightful
for your wife or girlfriend.
165
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:02,570
Oh, no, I'm painfully single.
166
00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:05,090
Nary a romantic appointment
in my "shed-you-ul."
167
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,000
Say that last part again.
168
00:07:07,002 --> 00:07:09,261
You mean... "shed-you-ul"?
169
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,097
(sultrily):
Shed-you-ul.
170
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,057
MALE HACKER:
Shed-you-ul.
171
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:19,921
-(moaning)
-(masks clacking)
172
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,331
Oh! We're back on! We're live!
173
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,382
Well, I-I suppose we should
threaten them some more.
174
00:07:23,384 --> 00:07:26,945
How about I just run another
batch of show-ruining clips
175
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,171
so we can...
176
00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:30,097
Topple the capitalist system
177
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:31,766
and its bought-and-paid-for...
178
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,536
Political enablers.
179
00:07:36,698 --> 00:07:38,031
(speaking French)
180
00:07:38,033 --> 00:07:39,166
(chuckles)
181
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:43,670
OPERATOR:
Do you speak English?
182
00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:52,220
We're trapped!
Someone get help!
183
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,870
I can't help
if I can't understand you.
184
00:08:00,872 --> 00:08:03,106
Won't anyone do something?!
185
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,665
(groans) Never mind.
186
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:24,728
Let me get this straight.
187
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:28,673
You mowed down all that corn
to build a football field,
188
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,843
hoping it would lure
the ghosts of former players
189
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,903
down from football heaven?
190
00:08:33,905 --> 00:08:36,264
Uh-huh. And look!
191
00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:41,186
Hey, I don't recognize
any of these guys.
192
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,930
Why are there two 50-yard lines?
193
00:08:43,932 --> 00:08:45,190
Aw, damn it!
194
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,317
I built a Canadian field!
195
00:08:48,253 --> 00:08:49,753
Oh. Sorry, hoser.
196
00:08:49,755 --> 00:08:50,695
My bad, eh?
197
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,180
Hey, nice rouge there, Gordo.
198
00:08:53,182 --> 00:08:55,182
Hey, Homer!
Throw you a Hail Mary?
199
00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,410
Shut up, Flutie.
200
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,766
Uh, yes. (clears throat)
The day is Sol, uh, 150.
201
00:09:02,768 --> 00:09:04,859
I am stranded on Mars.
202
00:09:04,861 --> 00:09:09,030
I suspect my fellow astronauts
left me behind on purpose,
203
00:09:09,032 --> 00:09:10,774
as from the bathroom
204
00:09:10,776 --> 00:09:12,776
I did hear the giggling
and the shushing
205
00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:16,279
and the "Blast off quick
before he's done tinkling."
206
00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:19,799
I have a mere three days
of air and water remaining.
207
00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:22,227
There is no hope.
208
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,229
Unless
I glayvenate the hydrogen,
209
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,730
flavenize the oxygen,
210
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,491
and, yes, yes,
poopulate the soil!
211
00:09:28,493 --> 00:09:31,628
It was a simple matter
of applying pseudoscience
212
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:35,481
and phantasmagorical engineering
to the problem. Yes.
213
00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:38,392
Oh, yes, I also cloned myself
for company.
214
00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:40,561
And my fellow Frinks
have built us all
215
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:42,396
an escape rocket.
Isn't that wonderful?
216
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:45,417
(clones laughing, chattering)
217
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,976
Leaving!
218
00:09:46,978 --> 00:09:48,753
(gasps)
219
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,047
Aw, flayvin me in the glayvin!
220
00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:54,408
Hello. This is Homer Simpson.
221
00:09:54,410 --> 00:09:56,428
From the bottom of my heart,
I apologize
222
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,672
to the great, great,
great people of Finland
223
00:09:59,674 --> 00:10:00,748
for what I said.
224
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,750
I have done many, many,
225
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:04,844
many, many, many episodes,
226
00:10:04,846 --> 00:10:06,830
and in one of those-- just one--
227
00:10:06,832 --> 00:10:08,589
I mixed you up with Norway.
228
00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:13,094
And I have so, so, so, so,
so much love and respect for...
229
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:15,004
I think "Finns"
is what you're called.
230
00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:16,764
And if I ever-- I mean ever--
231
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:18,524
ever, ever, ever thought
232
00:10:18,526 --> 00:10:20,360
that an innocent slip
of the tongue
233
00:10:20,362 --> 00:10:21,953
is something
that an entire nation
234
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,270
could get worked up about,
235
00:10:23,272 --> 00:10:25,515
I would've kept my mouth shut.
236
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:29,294
And the scary, scary, scary,
oh-so-scary lawyers
237
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,630
of the giant, giant--
I mean giant--
238
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:35,191
so, so giant,
scary corporation I work for
239
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:37,802
would not have had to draft
this statement.
240
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,195
God bless you
241
00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:41,973
and all the peoples
of South America,
242
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,701
for you are a-- What?
243
00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:46,961
What do you mean
I have to record it again?
244
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:48,146
What did I say?
245
00:10:54,637 --> 00:10:57,213
You're chewing too loud.
246
00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:59,899
From now on,
only two chews per bite.
247
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:02,643
One, two, swallow.
One, two, swallow.
248
00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:07,207
I think I've misplaced
my appetite, mother.
249
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:13,129
I need to see you right now.
250
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,160
I deserve this.
251
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:21,388
I deserve to feel like a man.
252
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:26,184
Only with you
do I truly feel alive.
253
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,687
I made this just for you.
254
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:31,022
Thank you, Mother.
255
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:35,585
Anything for my son.
I am so proud of you.
256
00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:38,196
Oh, Mommy.
I can't wait another second.
257
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,864
You know I need it.
258
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,117
(sultry music playing)
259
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:01,836
I almost forgot
to give you this.
260
00:12:01,838 --> 00:12:03,680
Leave it on the dresser.
261
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:09,894
If only that were
my real mother.
262
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:14,274
(groans)
If only that were my real son.
263
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,570
(Homer humming happily)
264
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,572
I don't mean to be
unneighborly, but, uh,
265
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,466
you wouldn't know what happened
to my old nostril skirt?
266
00:12:23,468 --> 00:12:27,320
Mustache you say?
Hmm, let me think.
267
00:12:27,322 --> 00:12:30,749
Stroking this goatee
I've always had.
268
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,417
Stroking, stroking...
269
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,087
That's it.
Boys, we're Jewish now.
270
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,590
-ROD: L'chaim!
-TODD: To life!
271
00:12:41,002 --> 00:12:42,761
Mmm.
(swallows)
272
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,929
From bun to pickle,
a masterpiece.
273
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:49,434
The exquisite flavor is matched
only by the peerless mouthfeel.
274
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,827
Five stars.
275
00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:53,329
Bravo, Harvey Comics, bravo.
276
00:12:53,331 --> 00:12:55,832
A stunning addition
to the Casper-verse.
277
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:57,758
No notes. Ten stars.
278
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,261
With this level of
sour cream in your blood,
279
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:03,189
your brain is completely
starved of oxygen.
280
00:13:03,191 --> 00:13:05,508
Consequently, you're a moron.
281
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:09,028
A perfect explanation.
Succinct and devastating.
282
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:10,789
Infinite stars!
283
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:15,460
Best. Diagnosis. Ev--
(groaning)
284
00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:21,966
Give me a beer, pally.
285
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,968
Hey, I know you, don't I?
286
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,529
Nah, must be thinking
of someone else, slim.
287
00:13:26,531 --> 00:13:29,790
No, I've definitely seen
you around town.
288
00:13:29,792 --> 00:13:30,975
Sign here, chief.
289
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,793
Here's your passport, gorgeous.
290
00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:34,720
Brake pads are shot, tough guy.
291
00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:36,130
Want that toasted, honcho?
292
00:13:36,132 --> 00:13:37,890
Found your car keys, big shot.
293
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:39,317
Those were all you!
294
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,152
I don't know
what to tell you, slick.
295
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,488
Just got that sort of face.
296
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,660
ALL:
Pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
297
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:53,581
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally-
pally-pally-pally-pally-pally...
298
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,984
(moaning, smooching)
299
00:13:56,986 --> 00:13:58,485
(exclaims)
300
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:02,823
-Oh, my God, you're beautiful.
-You're more beautiful!
301
00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:04,233
Oh. Oh, dear.
302
00:14:04,235 --> 00:14:07,403
The world has seen
our exquisite symmetrical faces.
303
00:14:07,405 --> 00:14:10,664
Then they've also seen
that we're... in love?
304
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:11,908
My God. Yes.
305
00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:13,834
Yes, that's what it is,
isn't it?
306
00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:15,595
It is. (stammers)
It is stunning.
307
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:18,764
As stunning as this list
of abandoned episodes
308
00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:22,485
that started as clever titles
and went nowhere.
309
00:14:23,346 --> 00:14:26,589
♪ Hopin' for the dream ♪
310
00:14:26,591 --> 00:14:27,940
♪ Hopin' ♪
311
00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:30,702
♪ Focus like a laser beam ♪
312
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:34,097
♪ I'll keep fighting
till I want something great ♪
313
00:14:34,099 --> 00:14:37,083
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
314
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:42,955
♪ Hopin' for a dream ♪
315
00:14:42,957 --> 00:14:46,367
-♪ Hopin' ♪
-♪ To someday,
somehow have a goal ♪
316
00:14:46,369 --> 00:14:47,510
♪ I'll keep fight... ♪
317
00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:50,204
Are we crazy?
318
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:52,615
Can two people,
forbidden from sharing
319
00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:56,285
any personal information,
really make a life together?
320
00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:58,229
I do think we owe it
to each other to try,
321
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,456
um... whoever you are.
322
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:01,882
I can't wait
323
00:15:01,884 --> 00:15:05,403
until we're
Mr. and Mrs. Redacted.
324
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,297
-(banging on door)
-AGENT: FBI.
325
00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:09,741
Surrender, hacker scum!
326
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:13,227
If we're going down,
we'll take The Simpsons with us.
327
00:15:13,229 --> 00:15:16,414
-I'm gonna play the dog scene.
-(exclaims)
328
00:15:20,495 --> 00:15:22,378
(upbeat voice):
Good morning, Homer.
329
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:26,716
It's morning?!
330
00:15:31,247 --> 00:15:33,322
-(banging on door)
-AGENT: FBI.
331
00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:34,766
We've got
you cyberterrorists surrounded.
332
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,083
This is it, darling.
333
00:15:36,085 --> 00:15:38,085
I've cued up the very
worst-of-the-worst clips
334
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:39,345
to play one by one.
335
00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:42,273
When we push this button,
The Simpsons dies.
336
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,692
-Together, then?
-Together.
337
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:49,188
The lies... stop... now.
338
00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:50,856
-Aah!
-(gasps)
339
00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:53,100
I know Eddie is Ralph's father.
340
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:55,528
Look at the hair.
Look at the hair!
341
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:58,347
No, Clancy,
I swear to you it's not true.
342
00:15:58,349 --> 00:16:01,626
My son's breath
smells like cat food.
343
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,127
Okay, you got me.
344
00:16:05,690 --> 00:16:08,257
(quietly):
I'll have the veal.
345
00:16:09,152 --> 00:16:12,712
The lies... stop... now!
346
00:16:12,714 --> 00:16:14,197
(grunts)
347
00:16:14,199 --> 00:16:16,199
I did a DNA test.
348
00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:17,883
I'm not your son.
349
00:16:17,885 --> 00:16:19,885
Luann, how could you?!
350
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:21,554
I'm not hers either.
351
00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:24,131
We're not your parents?
352
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:25,708
-All right.
-Oh, thank God!
353
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:28,277
-Yes!
-Oh...
354
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:32,657
(weakly):
The lies... stop... now.
355
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,217
-(grunts)
-Ow!
356
00:16:34,219 --> 00:16:36,160
-(groans)
-Marge,
357
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,162
I'm not your sister.
358
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,831
I'm... your mother.
359
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,815
But... but... wait, what?
360
00:16:41,817 --> 00:16:46,095
I was young and briefly hot.
It was a different time.
361
00:16:46,097 --> 00:16:49,732
Back then, we solved things
with huge lies.
362
00:16:49,734 --> 00:16:52,084
Then, who was my real father?
363
00:16:52,086 --> 00:16:55,238
His name was Disco...
(grunts)
364
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,090
Disco...
(groans)
365
00:16:58,092 --> 00:17:00,685
Disco who? Disco Who?
366
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:04,838
The lies... stop... now!
367
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,006
(grunts)
368
00:17:06,008 --> 00:17:08,100
Rake-y, I'm not
your real father.
369
00:17:08,102 --> 00:17:11,254
And I'm not Scottish, I'm Welsh!
370
00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:14,157
Oh, don't turn your back on me.
371
00:17:15,017 --> 00:17:17,260
♪
372
00:17:17,262 --> 00:17:19,612
MAN:
T-minus one minute to launch.
373
00:17:19,614 --> 00:17:22,540
Ooh.
(chuckling)
374
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,267
All for you, baby.
375
00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,026
-(growling)
-Aah!
376
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:29,196
Aah! Aah!
377
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:32,866
♪ We are the jockeys,
jockeys are we ♪
378
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:37,037
♪ We live underground
in a fiberglass tree. ♪
379
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:38,723
-(screams)
-Opa!
380
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,726
(Simpsons theme playing)
381
00:17:44,956 --> 00:17:46,305
(grunting)
382
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,024
(screams)
383
00:17:48,884 --> 00:17:52,278
It's still me on the inside.
384
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:59,452
Sin-ner! Sin-ner!
385
00:18:01,973 --> 00:18:05,083
Oh, Homie. You're awake.
386
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:07,476
-What happened?
-You've been in a coma
387
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,421
ever since you tried
to jump Springfield Gorge.
388
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,497
How long?
389
00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:13,332
Two days ago.
390
00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:16,743
Two days? But...
I had so many adventures.
391
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:18,262
More than 700.
392
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:22,325
Those were all coma dreams.
None of them ever happened.
393
00:18:22,327 --> 00:18:24,585
(gasps)
The "B" stories, too?
394
00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:26,011
(sobbing)
395
00:18:26,013 --> 00:18:28,848
I never had a pet lobster?
396
00:18:28,850 --> 00:18:30,942
I never went to space?
397
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:34,186
What about the Halloweens?!
398
00:18:35,189 --> 00:18:37,264
Drop your code and move away
from the Internet!
399
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,858
You're both under arrest.
400
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:41,285
On what charge,
grand theft heart?
401
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,287
Conspiracy to commit to love?
402
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,365
Willfully endangering
each other's loneliness?
403
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,960
Take one more step
and I'll blow this I.P.
404
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,129
to Magic Kingdom come.
405
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,873
Go ahead. You've already
released all the Simpsons files.
406
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,191
No one cared.
407
00:18:55,193 --> 00:18:56,450
The only people still
watching that show
408
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:59,119
are football fans who
passed out with the TV on.
409
00:18:59,121 --> 00:19:01,864
I am not talking
about The Simpsons.
410
00:19:01,866 --> 00:19:03,957
We've hacked into all of Disney.
411
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:07,145
That means Star Wars,
Marvel, Pixar.
412
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,479
We've even got...
413
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,464
Nat Geo.
414
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:11,798
You monsters.
415
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,877
If I press this button,
the only Hulk that exists
416
00:19:14,879 --> 00:19:16,545
will be Edward Norton.
417
00:19:16,547 --> 00:19:19,139
It'll be like Ruffalo
never happened.
418
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,549
You're bluffing.
419
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:22,994
I'll delete Baby Groot,
Baby Yoda,
420
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:26,889
and their brand-new
top secret character--
421
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:28,666
Baby Jeff Goldblum.
422
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,894
On the one hand, uh, "goo,"
423
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:37,991
but I'd be remiss if I didn't
also mention, uh, "gaa."
424
00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:39,660
Oh, my golly.
425
00:19:39,662 --> 00:19:42,238
It's me as a baby.
426
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,164
Good God, she's not bluffing.
427
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,075
Stand down. Let 'em go.
428
00:19:46,077 --> 00:19:49,187
I'll do it.
429
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:51,914
Um... we now return you
to your regularly
430
00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:53,507
"shed-you-uled" programming.
431
00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:54,525
(sighs):
Oh.
432
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:58,604
How do you lose two children?!
433
00:19:58,606 --> 00:20:01,515
What kind of jamboree
are you running here?
434
00:20:01,517 --> 00:20:03,776
(both shuddering)
435
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:04,777
(Homer and Marge gasp)
436
00:20:04,779 --> 00:20:06,429
HOMER:
Yeah, you're back.
437
00:20:06,431 --> 00:20:09,189
(smooching)
438
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:10,282
Ew.
439
00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:13,211
When we get home,
can we turn on the TV
440
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,364
and never, ever go
outdoors again?
441
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:20,218
-Please?
-Pretty please?
442
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:23,554
I've never been
prouder of you two.
443
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,964
While you were gone,
444
00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:26,390
your mom and I
almost got divorced
445
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,208
over something insignificant.
446
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,895
Luckily, your dad apologized.
447
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,972
Yup, I got it down
at this point.
448
00:20:32,974 --> 00:20:35,416
It's all about the eye contact.
449
00:20:35,418 --> 00:20:37,568
MARGE:
He knows what works.
450
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,387
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
451
00:20:40,389 --> 00:20:42,889
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
452
00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:45,284
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
453
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,973
(female hacker whoops, laughs)
454
00:20:50,975 --> 00:20:52,641
Maybe we didn't get the Bitcoin,
455
00:20:52,643 --> 00:20:54,310
but we've got each other.
456
00:20:54,312 --> 00:20:55,586
Oh, darling,
I think we should do it,
457
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,831
I think we should tell
each other our real names.
458
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:00,407
My name is Ashley.
459
00:21:00,409 --> 00:21:02,593
-(tires screeching)
-No! So is mine.
460
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:03,986
-Oh...
-Ashley.
461
00:21:03,988 --> 00:21:05,170
Oh, Ashley.
462
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:08,641
-Ashley, Ashley.
-Oh, oh, British Ashley. Mmm...
463
00:21:28,846 --> 00:21:30,413
Shh!