1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,987 ♪ 2 00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:07,506 (crows cawing) 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,843 Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy, this is a great booking. 4 00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,345 Don't bubbeleh me, boychik. 5 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,406 Entertaining the kids at Kelly Clarkson's housewarming. 6 00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:19,576 It's not my fault you lost all your money on NFTs-- 7 00:00:19,578 --> 00:00:21,687 non-funny TV shows. 8 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,523 Now get to work, you're behind on your Cameos. 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,099 (groans) 10 00:00:26,101 --> 00:00:27,934 Hey, hey, Jacob! 11 00:00:27,936 --> 00:00:31,530 Your dad's super-sad he couldn't make it to your bar mitzvah. 12 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,106 It's a real shonda. 13 00:00:33,108 --> 00:00:37,127 Also, all the best from Dad's new wife, Shonda. 14 00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:40,855 (laughing) 15 00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,708 Oh... 16 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:46,694 Thank you so much for doing this, Krusty. 17 00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:48,213 Kelly really appreciates it. 18 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:50,624 And the children are all huge fans. Right, kids? 19 00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:53,719 -Mm-hmm. -Totally. -Yeah, we love you, Crisco. 20 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,429 (groans) 21 00:00:56,724 --> 00:01:00,300 Oh, what's that Kelly Clarkson got that I don't? 22 00:01:00,302 --> 00:01:03,729 We all won singing contests 20 years ago. 23 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:07,066 Oh, where's my infinity toilet? 24 00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:10,385 Oh, that toilet isn't from American Idol money. 25 00:01:10,387 --> 00:01:12,145 You're looking at daytime-syndicated 26 00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:13,146 talk show wealth. 27 00:01:13,148 --> 00:01:14,815 See those mega mansions? 28 00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:17,317 Well, they belong to the superstars of daytime TV: 29 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,394 -Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams, -Hey, hey. Hey, hey. 30 00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,154 -and that jerk Doctor Phil. -(groans) 31 00:01:21,156 --> 00:01:24,825 All bought and paid for with syndicated megabucks. 32 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,752 I see something in you, Krusty. 33 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,995 Oh, I was gonna put it back. 34 00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:30,497 You have daytime chops. 35 00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:32,649 There's always a place on TV for a Regis-- 36 00:01:32,651 --> 00:01:35,168 a cranky but lovable, sexless grandpa. 37 00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:37,471 Yeah, and what makes you the expert? 38 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:40,173 (exclaims) 39 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:44,328 Here's the real test. Get that mom squad dancing. 40 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:47,255 Daytime audiences love to dance. 41 00:01:47,257 --> 00:01:49,108 Forget it, lady. I still got my dignity. 42 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,335 -(phone chimes) -Hey, wait. 43 00:01:51,337 --> 00:01:52,836 Mm... 44 00:01:52,838 --> 00:01:54,279 Hey, hey, Bryson! 45 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:57,265 Your mom wanted me to congratulate you on... 46 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,860 getting your braces tightened. 47 00:01:59,862 --> 00:02:02,028 Make up a rap about it? 48 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,865 (groans) Look, fine, I'll dance. 49 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,033 (grumbles) 50 00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:10,111 ♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪ 51 00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,371 ♪ With the fur ♪ 52 00:02:11,373 --> 00:02:14,541 ♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ 53 00:02:14,543 --> 00:02:16,376 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 54 00:02:16,378 --> 00:02:18,195 -(women whooping) -♪ Next thing you know ♪ 55 00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:21,789 ♪ Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low ♪ 56 00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:24,959 ♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps. ♪ 57 00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,562 -(Bart and Lisa laughing) -(Santa's Little Helper barking) 58 00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:31,041 What's taking so long? 59 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,985 All this food I can't eat is taunting me. 60 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,912 I read that grain-free is supposed to be good. 61 00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:37,214 Or was it grain-full? 62 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:38,732 Mom, can we get a gecko? 63 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,492 I want a guinea pig. 64 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,810 How about both in one cage, and see what happens? 65 00:02:42,812 --> 00:02:45,313 -No, no, no. -Yeah, please, mom? 66 00:02:45,315 --> 00:02:46,999 -Please, come on, a gecko and a guinea pig. -No! Why would we... 67 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,042 (sighs) 68 00:02:55,492 --> 00:02:59,085 Marge, honestly, is this how you pictured your life? 69 00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:01,254 I think not. 70 00:03:01,256 --> 00:03:03,924 Yes, I lick my behind. Big surprise. 71 00:03:03,926 --> 00:03:05,926 Excuse me, would you like to come participate 72 00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,577 in a focus group? 73 00:03:07,579 --> 00:03:10,022 Yes, anything but this. 74 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,648 (scoffs) Just pick a food. 75 00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:14,401 Oh... 76 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:20,032 We want to know what you want in your daytime programming. 77 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,850 There are no wrong answers and no bad ideas. 78 00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:25,429 In that case, recipes. 79 00:03:25,431 --> 00:03:26,455 Sure. 80 00:03:27,766 --> 00:03:29,099 Air-fryer recipes. 81 00:03:29,101 --> 00:03:30,626 (groans) 82 00:03:31,695 --> 00:03:33,712 Celebrities come on the show? 83 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,196 Well, yes, obviously, but... 84 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:36,957 Put it on the board, then. 85 00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,125 Uh, I was thinking... 86 00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:41,945 -Something with vacuums. -(groans) 87 00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:44,097 (both exclaiming) 88 00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:48,301 Shiny coat or liver support? 89 00:03:48,303 --> 00:03:51,021 Why are they doing this to us? 90 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,650 -Hats? -What about hats, Helen? 91 00:03:55,644 --> 00:03:56,960 Maybe... 92 00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:59,220 babies wearing hats? 93 00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:02,148 And it's a whole baby hat fashion show? 94 00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,800 -Exactly. Exactly. -Oh, yeah, there you go. -Ooh. 95 00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:05,244 That's not bad. 96 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,729 And you know how there are just too many 97 00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,564 dog food options these days? 98 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:12,826 What if you brought out Instagram dogs 99 00:04:12,828 --> 00:04:14,995 and had them do a taste test? 100 00:04:14,997 --> 00:04:16,997 Wow! Well, that's really good. 101 00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:18,815 What other ideas do you have? 102 00:04:18,817 --> 00:04:20,500 Candle unboxing and sniffing. 103 00:04:20,502 --> 00:04:24,154 Celebrities read nice tweets about other celebrities. 104 00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,598 Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns. 105 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,508 Funny bed-making fails. 106 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:29,584 And... 107 00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:33,497 tweens explain TikToks to carpool moms. 108 00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:34,648 Eh? 109 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,110 You're a natural. You've got nice ideas 110 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,003 coming out the wazoo. 111 00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:43,006 You know, I'm in the market for a new segment producer. 112 00:04:43,008 --> 00:04:44,265 You are? 113 00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,692 Will you excuse me for a second? 114 00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:47,193 Jerry, you're fired. 115 00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:49,621 I'm... I'm free. 116 00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:52,940 Segment producer? 117 00:04:52,942 --> 00:04:54,293 I don't know. I-I should probably 118 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:57,337 talk it over with my family. (gasps) 119 00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:04,303 I'll take the job. 120 00:05:05,197 --> 00:05:06,954 Be warned, segment producer. 121 00:05:06,956 --> 00:05:09,641 No one makes it out of these shows unchanged. 122 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,145 Oh, well, then it's a good thing I'm not much of a changer. 123 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,981 You can keep your job or you can keep your soul, 124 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,207 but you can't keep both. 125 00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:19,709 Also, when you turn in your receipts, 126 00:05:19,711 --> 00:05:22,546 break them down between dining and mileage 127 00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:25,306 or you'll await the reimbursements... 128 00:05:25,308 --> 00:05:26,491 forever! 129 00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:35,725 So this is behind the scenes of a TV show. 130 00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:37,894 So much hustle. 131 00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:39,421 And bustle. 132 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,384 Mm... mm. 133 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:47,070 This is your desk. 134 00:05:47,072 --> 00:05:50,407 And this is where you can pin all your genius segment ideas. 135 00:05:50,409 --> 00:05:52,184 With five shows a week, it's very important 136 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,744 that you always be thinking up segments. 137 00:05:54,746 --> 00:05:55,854 A daytime talk show without 138 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,748 fun and interesting segments is like a... 139 00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:00,750 You, finish my metaphor. 140 00:06:00,752 --> 00:06:02,027 Uh, um... 141 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,363 Get me a baked potato 142 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,865 so I can throw it at your head. 143 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,092 -Now! -(exclaims, whimpers) 144 00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:12,162 Okay, I'll leave you to it. 145 00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:15,356 (humming a tune) 146 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,209 Oh, I-I don't need to order lunch. 147 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:20,712 My kids packed mine as a special treat for my first day. 148 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,589 Aw. 149 00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:27,794 Hmm. Maybe I will take a look at that menu. 150 00:06:27,796 --> 00:06:31,464 Can I order you something, um... What-what's your name? 151 00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:33,633 Uh, to make it simpler for the producers, 152 00:06:33,635 --> 00:06:35,185 we're-we're all named Jordan. 153 00:06:39,382 --> 00:06:41,141 I should've ordered some salad 154 00:06:41,143 --> 00:06:44,653 to go with my salad toppings. (chuckles) 155 00:06:45,964 --> 00:06:48,365 Mm. 156 00:06:52,654 --> 00:06:54,287 Oh. 157 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,064 (laughing) 158 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,417 What the hell is this? 159 00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,493 You people didn't write me any jokes. 160 00:07:00,495 --> 00:07:03,070 You don't need jokes. The women in our audience 161 00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,148 are just happy to be out of the house. 162 00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:07,926 They want to dance to clean versions of Pitbull songs 163 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,412 and go home with a free copy of a Real Housewives memoir. 164 00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:13,673 Your only job is just be nice. 165 00:07:13,675 --> 00:07:15,708 It's all about nice. 166 00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:18,662 Did you just make eye contact with the host? 167 00:07:18,664 --> 00:07:20,013 No, I would never! 168 00:07:20,015 --> 00:07:21,014 (growling) 169 00:07:21,016 --> 00:07:22,849 -Aah! -Oh! 170 00:07:22,851 --> 00:07:26,503 Ladies and gay friends, I'm MC Hairbone, 171 00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:29,339 the funkiest daytime DJ in the world. 172 00:07:29,341 --> 00:07:31,599 Get on your feet for your newest, non-threatening-est 173 00:07:31,601 --> 00:07:34,268 king of late morning or early afternoon 174 00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,846 depending on your local market and time zone: 175 00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:38,531 Krusty! 176 00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,792 -♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪ -(cheering) 177 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,294 ♪ With the fur ♪ 178 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:45,538 -♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ -(grunting) 179 00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,540 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 180 00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,859 ♪ Next thing you know, shawty got low, low ♪ 181 00:07:49,861 --> 00:07:52,578 ♪ Low, low, low, low, low, low ♪ 182 00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:55,957 ♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps ♪ 183 00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,143 -♪ With the straps ♪ -♪ She turned around and gave ♪ 184 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,312 ♪ That big booty a slap. ♪ 185 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:02,630 (groans) Look at this. 186 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:05,484 I already got a wardrobe malfunction. 187 00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,319 (audience laughs) 188 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,321 That's the kind of joke we get. 189 00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,492 -Ah. -♪ 190 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,163 Oh, my God, this is my first segment. 191 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,074 I hope people like it, Jordan. 192 00:08:21,076 --> 00:08:23,226 Look at this guy. He's saying, 193 00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:26,079 "I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap." 194 00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:28,231 (laughing, whooping) 195 00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:30,157 These are my people. 196 00:08:30,159 --> 00:08:32,827 And they're raising the roof for my idea. 197 00:08:32,829 --> 00:08:35,922 Can you believe we get paid for this? 198 00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,699 We don't. 199 00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:39,576 (audience cheering, whooping) 200 00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:42,670 Bart, you're taking this really well. 201 00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:44,748 I'd have thought you'd be hatching some scheme 202 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,340 to get the old Krusty show back. 203 00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:47,600 Why would I do that? 204 00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:50,270 I've got my favorite Krusty episodes right here. 205 00:08:50,272 --> 00:08:52,364 More than 700 of 'em. 206 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,775 Hm, kind of makes you think. 207 00:08:55,777 --> 00:08:58,428 Once you have enough episodes of any classic show, 208 00:08:58,430 --> 00:09:00,597 why do you need to keep making more? 209 00:09:00,599 --> 00:09:02,356 Well, the reason is... 210 00:09:02,358 --> 00:09:04,025 Shh. Watching classic Krusty. 211 00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:06,211 (Krusty the Clown theme song playing) 212 00:09:08,106 --> 00:09:09,956 Oh, it's just so easy. 213 00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:11,791 I don't have to be funny anymore. 214 00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,109 I just have to be nice. 215 00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:15,536 It's the greatest grift I've ever done. 216 00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:19,391 (laughs) I'm gonna go buy some cars. 217 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,876 -Mm... -You did a great job today, Marge. 218 00:09:21,878 --> 00:09:25,138 You know, we women have to stick together in this business. 219 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,307 But I also want you to never quite be sure 220 00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:28,792 where you stand with me, and just have 221 00:09:28,794 --> 00:09:32,128 a general sense of unease about my intentions. 222 00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:33,797 Does that make sense? 223 00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,465 I think so. 224 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:36,466 Great. 225 00:09:36,468 --> 00:09:38,059 Okay, everybody, conference room. 226 00:09:38,061 --> 00:09:39,803 Pitch meeting for tomorrow. 227 00:09:39,805 --> 00:09:40,987 You, plaid shirt. 228 00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,989 Not you. Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah. 229 00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:44,490 Bring the binder of dinner menus. 230 00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:46,567 -♪ Let me talk to 'em ♪ -♪ Come on ♪ 231 00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:48,995 -♪ Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans ♪ -♪ Jeans ♪ 232 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:52,073 -♪ Boots with the fur ♪ -♪ With the fur ♪ 233 00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:55,093 ♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ 234 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,410 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 235 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,597 ♪ Next thing you know, low ♪ 236 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,673 ♪ Hey, I ain't never seen nothing that'll make me go ♪ 237 00:10:00,675 --> 00:10:02,434 ♪ This crazy all night, spending my dough ♪ 238 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,436 ♪ Had a million-dollar vibe and a body to go ♪ 239 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,996 ♪ Them birthday cakes, they stole the show, so sexual ♪ 240 00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:08,589 ♪ She was flexible, professional ♪ 241 00:10:08,591 --> 00:10:10,108 ♪ Drinking X and O ♪ 242 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,684 ♪ Hold up wait a minute, do I see ♪ 243 00:10:11,686 --> 00:10:14,362 -♪ What I think I, whoa ♪ -♪ Come on. ♪ 244 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,265 Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late. 245 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,194 You would not believe the day I had. 246 00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,955 Oh, please, let's eat. I'm starving. 247 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,032 Oh, but if the bill looks high, it's because 248 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:28,543 I already ate a full meal here. 249 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,855 And then Krusty didn't even tell us 250 00:10:31,857 --> 00:10:33,781 he had swapped the A and B blocks. 251 00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:35,133 I'd already preset the demo table 252 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,194 for my segment, "popcorn maker wars." 253 00:10:38,196 --> 00:10:39,638 So, then it's my fault 254 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,956 the "reuniting soldiers and their dogs" segment 255 00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,700 was such a disaster? 256 00:10:43,702 --> 00:10:46,794 Carla's the one who turned on the popcorn machines. 257 00:10:46,796 --> 00:10:49,147 And that's Hair Department Carla? 258 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,983 No, Hair Department Carla is blonde. 259 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,060 You know, my day was pretty crazy, too. 260 00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:57,380 Lenny came in this morning with a ladybug on his shirt, 261 00:10:57,382 --> 00:11:00,383 and we were seeing how long before he noticed it. 262 00:11:00,385 --> 00:11:02,994 Segment idea: "Krusty goes blond." 263 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,329 (laughs) 264 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,665 Lenny made it all the way to lunch 265 00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,409 and then the little guy just fell off on its own. 266 00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,060 (laughs) 267 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,987 We called him Ladybug Lenny 268 00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,822 for the rest of the day! 269 00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:16,232 (laughs) 270 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:18,843 -Ah, ladybugs. -(phone dings) 271 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,012 Oh, I have to go back to the office. 272 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,256 The viral skateboard grandma we booked for tomorrow 273 00:11:23,258 --> 00:11:26,059 has a history of racist tweets. 274 00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:30,563 Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet. 275 00:11:33,843 --> 00:11:34,934 Hmm. 276 00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:36,027 No. 277 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,938 No. Too edgy. Too soft. 278 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,273 What is this, Corden? 279 00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:41,257 Seen it. 280 00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:43,593 Not timely. Too timely. 281 00:11:43,595 --> 00:11:45,019 Way too soft. 282 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,705 What is this, Fallon? 283 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,765 "Good luck Mom, we love you." 284 00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:50,024 I don't even get this. 285 00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:52,293 Is that all you got? 286 00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:54,713 Mm... 287 00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:59,625 (sighs) Guys, I know I've been a little stressed lately, 288 00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:03,463 but it's so nice for us to all sit down together. 289 00:12:03,465 --> 00:12:06,783 It's okay, Mom. You're doing your dream job. 290 00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:08,375 Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom. 291 00:12:08,377 --> 00:12:09,894 Now pass the index cards. 292 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,954 The what? 293 00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:12,956 I'm hungry for segments. 294 00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:14,791 Aah! 295 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:16,793 What's the matter, Marge? 296 00:12:16,795 --> 00:12:18,236 You haven't even touched 297 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,030 your steamed pushpins. 298 00:12:22,968 --> 00:12:24,284 Aah! 299 00:12:25,394 --> 00:12:26,703 (gasps) 300 00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,289 (panting) 301 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,126 (exclaims, gasps) 302 00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:39,832 (all grunting) 303 00:12:39,834 --> 00:12:41,667 Aah! Oh! 304 00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:44,179 Eh? (sighs) 305 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,516 (cackling) 306 00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:51,019 Aah! 307 00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:53,605 -(sobbing) -(whimpering) 308 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,999 (growling) 309 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,518 Mm. Mm... 310 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,336 Look alive, people. The big boss 311 00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:02,188 wants to see everyone for a meeting. 312 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:05,508 Krusty's here? But we don't tape for another eight minutes. 313 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,102 I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am 314 00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:09,454 for all your hard work. 315 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,456 I never knew doing a television show 316 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,459 could require so little effort on my part. 317 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:18,037 If anyone needs anything, I'll be in my spray tan tent. 318 00:13:18,039 --> 00:13:20,632 Thanks, Krusty. You earned it. 319 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:23,526 Back to work. We need 50 branded segment ideas 320 00:13:23,528 --> 00:13:26,954 for Menopause Chapstick and something called Cereal Wine. 321 00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:28,865 (all groan) 322 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:31,534 At this solemn and holy moment, 323 00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:33,036 I baptize thee... 324 00:13:33,038 --> 00:13:35,796 (phone clicking, chiming) 325 00:13:35,798 --> 00:13:38,224 (grumbling) 326 00:13:38,226 --> 00:13:40,726 How are we supposed to do surprise makeovers 327 00:13:40,728 --> 00:13:42,061 on the mailmen you brought in? 328 00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:44,063 Every one of them is already gorgeous. 329 00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:45,990 ALL: Shh! 330 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,661 Special thanks to the Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew. 331 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:52,146 (cheering, applause) 332 00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:54,815 -That was great. -It was fine. 333 00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:56,075 I mean, look me in the eye 334 00:13:56,077 --> 00:13:59,062 and tell me where the GIF was. Tell me. 335 00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:01,840 Uh, uh, uh, when the little kid breakdanced. 336 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,341 Um, excuse me, Marge, 337 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:06,344 there seems to be an emergency at your house. 338 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,180 What is so important that you pulled me out of work? 339 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,257 Marge, there's no emergency. 340 00:14:11,259 --> 00:14:13,759 Have a seat. This is an intervention. 341 00:14:13,761 --> 00:14:15,595 -(gasps) -(toilet flushes) 342 00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:18,690 I missed the big reveal? You said I had time. 343 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,433 Midge, go out and come back in. 344 00:14:20,435 --> 00:14:23,027 Aw, nah, forget that. Who's that even for? 345 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,955 All right, all right, intervention. And, uh, go. 346 00:14:25,957 --> 00:14:28,091 If this is about the melatonin gummies, 347 00:14:28,093 --> 00:14:30,259 I can stop whenever I want. 348 00:14:30,261 --> 00:14:31,761 No, Marge. We're interventioning 349 00:14:31,763 --> 00:14:33,520 you and your whole deal. 350 00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:35,373 I never thought I'd speak ill of TV, 351 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,876 but I think it's destroying you. 352 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,193 (grumbles) 353 00:14:39,195 --> 00:14:40,879 PATTY and SELMA: Mm-hmm. 354 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,381 Cut to commercial. 355 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:49,295 Okay, let's make this quick. Everybody say your little thing. 356 00:14:49,297 --> 00:14:51,372 We're just worried about you, Marge. 357 00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:54,450 Look, even your best friend Luann is here. 358 00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:55,894 Best friend? 359 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,896 We haven't had the conversation yet, 360 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:59,898 but it's unspoken. 361 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,125 Mom, we want to be supportive of your dreams, 362 00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:05,128 but you just don't seem to be enjoying it anymore. 363 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,463 Oh, I'm sorry. 364 00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:09,799 Sorry that you're all so threatened 365 00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:11,817 by a powerful, successful woman. 366 00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:15,396 Lisa, as a feminist, you should be ashamed of yourself. 367 00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:17,990 Really? Just this week the show's done 368 00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,476 "sext your way out of traffic school" 369 00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:24,238 and debuted a new daily segment called "trends in cleavage." 370 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,592 -When's this show on again? -(phone dings) 371 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,676 MARGE: Mm? 372 00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:34,490 The Internet's on fire about our story 373 00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:37,251 exposing the toxic work environment at Krusty. 374 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,938 -Inexcusable. -I heard they made all the interns 375 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,181 convert to Judaism and work on Christmas, 376 00:15:42,183 --> 00:15:44,275 then convert back and work on Passover. 377 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,427 -(all gasp) -Mm-hmm. 378 00:15:46,429 --> 00:15:48,279 (gasps) This is a disaster. 379 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,265 We can finish this dumb thing later. 380 00:15:51,267 --> 00:15:54,619 Hmm. So, um, what's the move here? 381 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,696 Well, is there anything else we can work on? 382 00:15:56,698 --> 00:15:57,830 Hey Homer, how's the drinking? 383 00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,348 Same. 384 00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,459 -(indistinct chatter) -(whimpering) 385 00:16:07,025 --> 00:16:08,449 What the hell is this? 386 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:11,527 For the first time in my life, I'm not responsible 387 00:16:11,529 --> 00:16:15,047 for a toxic work environment. I'm barely ever here. 388 00:16:15,049 --> 00:16:16,866 Physically, and certainly not mentally. 389 00:16:16,868 --> 00:16:18,292 Don't worry, Krusty. 390 00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:21,037 I'm going to find whoever said it's terrible to work here 391 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:24,315 and personally bully them until their hair falls out in clumps. 392 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,560 But what you need now is a redemption episode. 393 00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:30,154 And I know I speak for the entire staff when I say 394 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,991 we're willing to pull an all-nighter to make it happen. 395 00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,326 (sobbing) 396 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,995 Aah! 397 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,497 Yeah, and you'll write me one of those apologies 398 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,390 where it sounds like I'm sorry but I'm not actually 399 00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:43,559 taking the blame for anything? 400 00:16:43,561 --> 00:16:45,745 I've done hundreds of these. It's actually a template 401 00:16:45,747 --> 00:16:47,422 in the software we use. 402 00:16:48,991 --> 00:16:50,341 Uh, what else? 403 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,902 Bart, you got to be addicted to something by now. 404 00:16:52,904 --> 00:16:54,420 None of your business. 405 00:16:54,422 --> 00:16:56,239 Fair enough. 406 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,074 (distorted): ♪ Shawty had them ♪ 407 00:16:58,076 --> 00:17:01,093 -♪ Apple Bottom jeans ♪ -♪ Jeans ♪ 408 00:17:01,095 --> 00:17:03,855 ♪ Boots with the fur ♪ 409 00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,098 ♪ With the fur. ♪ 410 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,417 I was devastated to learn that our show 411 00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:11,195 has become a toxic work environment. 412 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,698 Well, even though I knew absolutely nothing 413 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:17,368 about what was going on, the buck stops with me. 414 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,097 And I promise you, I'm going to take some time to listen, 415 00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:25,001 learn, not touch, and listen. 416 00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:29,121 What the hell is this?! 417 00:17:29,123 --> 00:17:31,107 How am I supposed to do the salad shake 418 00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:33,626 if it's not in its original container? 419 00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:35,053 -(grunts) -Aah! 420 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,388 (whimpering) 421 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,223 Oh, my God. 422 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,392 What have I become? 423 00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:50,459 I was completely unaware of the following policies: 424 00:17:50,461 --> 00:17:52,070 if employees see me in my car, 425 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:54,146 they must lower imaginary sunglasses 426 00:17:54,148 --> 00:17:56,315 as if impressed and aroused. 427 00:17:56,317 --> 00:17:58,467 Krusty, you don't need to do this. 428 00:17:58,469 --> 00:18:00,486 -The world needs to know the truth. -(phone rings) 429 00:18:00,488 --> 00:18:03,397 It's the system of daytime TV that's toxic. 430 00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:05,416 It's turned us all into monsters 431 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,159 fueled by stress, gaslighting, 432 00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:09,754 and $15 kale Caesar salads. 433 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,239 The pressure to crank out so much nice 434 00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,483 brings out the worst in us. 435 00:18:14,485 --> 00:18:17,670 We just wanted to bring more nice in the world. 436 00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:19,764 More nice. 437 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,824 Okay, new speech. 438 00:18:21,826 --> 00:18:23,159 This non-apology apology 439 00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:25,752 just became a real apology. 440 00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:26,920 This place isn't toxic 441 00:18:26,922 --> 00:18:29,464 because of whoever this lady is 442 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:31,442 or "the system." 443 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,019 -It's toxic because of me. -(audience gasps) 444 00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:36,021 I'm a showbiz monster. 445 00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:37,931 I'm not nice. 446 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,933 So I'm stepping away from the show... 447 00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:41,619 forever. 448 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,012 -(gasps) -Wha? 449 00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:45,898 Krusty. Krusty, you don't have to do this. 450 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,366 It's not your fault. 451 00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:49,460 Look, lady, I couldn't agree with you more. 452 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,296 Everyone who works here except me is nuts. 453 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:55,299 I just quit because I closed the deal for a new gig 454 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,451 which makes daytime talk show money 455 00:18:57,453 --> 00:18:59,786 look like late night talk show money. 456 00:18:59,788 --> 00:19:01,973 TV judge syndication money. 457 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,366 A judge? 458 00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:06,960 Judge Judy is the richest TV star in the world. 459 00:19:06,962 --> 00:19:08,980 So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty. 460 00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:11,965 I can let my body go, just sit on my keister 461 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,301 and speak truth to stupid all day. 462 00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:17,822 All right, I got to go work on my humiliation quips. 463 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,657 You ever do any bailiffing? 464 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:20,658 Some. 465 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,410 No more show? 466 00:19:23,979 --> 00:19:26,455 I'm... I'm free. 467 00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,909 Oh come on, why would you do that? 468 00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:32,253 Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry. 469 00:19:33,398 --> 00:19:34,821 KRUSTY: Oh, come on. 470 00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:36,065 Don't sneeze on my robe 471 00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,083 and tell me I'm in a car wash. 472 00:19:38,085 --> 00:19:40,085 Did you fall out of the stupid tree 473 00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:41,995 and land in the idiot mulch? 474 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:43,830 His quips could use some work. 475 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,424 (laughs) Mulch. 476 00:19:45,426 --> 00:19:47,834 Do you ever miss working in TV, Mom? 477 00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:51,080 There was at least a week there where you seemed to enjoy it. 478 00:19:51,082 --> 00:19:53,507 Sure, it was rewarding at first. 479 00:19:53,509 --> 00:19:55,693 But this experience has made me realize 480 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,922 my real dream job is producing this family. 481 00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:01,348 And now, as a consultant, 482 00:20:01,350 --> 00:20:03,926 I get the best of both worlds. 483 00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,352 (phone rings) 484 00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,279 Marge, it's Drew. I need your help. 485 00:20:07,281 --> 00:20:09,782 I got no A block for tomorrow. 486 00:20:09,784 --> 00:20:11,392 Let me see... 487 00:20:11,394 --> 00:20:13,211 Have you seen the viral grandpa? 488 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,438 The one who raises baby ducks? 489 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,291 Yes, I'm thinking surprise spa day for him. 490 00:20:19,293 --> 00:20:21,719 And an extreme pond makeover for the ducks. 491 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,130 Oh, Marge, are you sure you won't come work for me? 492 00:20:25,132 --> 00:20:26,873 That's very sweet, Drew, 493 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:29,227 but my daytime days are over. 494 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,145 -(kids grunting, coughing) -(sobbing) 495 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,981 Oh... 496 00:20:35,126 --> 00:20:36,550 I'll be in touch. 497 00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:38,794 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 498 00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,738 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 499 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,481 and TOYOTA. 500 00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:43,699 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 501 00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:50,081 Here at Segments, we believe 502 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,066 there is life after daytime. 503 00:20:53,068 --> 00:20:55,419 Our patients have suffered indescribable trauma 504 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,664 from TV hosts perpetuating the cycle of abuse 505 00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,240 handed down since the days 506 00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:02,485 of The Mike Douglas Show. 507 00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:05,154 We treat all aspects of PTSD-- 508 00:21:05,156 --> 00:21:07,080 post talk show disorder-- 509 00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:08,415 compulsive fake laughter, 510 00:21:08,417 --> 00:21:10,659 guest cancellation night terrors, 511 00:21:10,661 --> 00:21:12,177 long haul Kelly Ripas... 512 00:21:12,179 --> 00:21:14,438 Lindsey, who are you talking to? 513 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,681 The audience. 514 00:21:15,683 --> 00:21:17,166 I'm warming up the audience. 515 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:18,985 It's all on the teleprompter! 516 00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:21,261 Why don't you just put this on 517 00:21:21,263 --> 00:21:22,855 for a "who wore it best" segment? 518 00:21:22,857 --> 00:21:25,658 Mm! (chuckles) 519 00:21:29,530 --> 00:21:31,080 Shh!