1 00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:10,855 Krusty, bubbeleh, take it easy, this is a great booking. 2 00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:13,159 Don't bubbeleh me, boychik. 3 00:00:13,159 --> 00:00:16,332 Entertaining the kids at Kelly Clarkson's housewarming. 4 00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:19,506 It's not my fault you lost all your money on NFTs-- 5 00:00:19,506 --> 00:00:21,610 non-funny TV shows. 6 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:24,550 Now get to work, you're behind on your Cameos. 7 00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:27,956 Hey, hey, Jacob! 8 00:00:27,956 --> 00:00:31,564 Your dad's super-sad he couldn't make it to your bar mitzvah. 9 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,099 It's a real shonda. 10 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:37,007 Also, all the best from Dad's new wife, Shonda. 11 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,752 Oh... 12 00:00:44,388 --> 00:00:46,694 Thank you so much for doing this, Krusty. 13 00:00:46,694 --> 00:00:48,263 Kelly really appreciates it. 14 00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:50,635 And the children are all huge fans. Right, kids? 15 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:53,774 - Mm-hmm. - Totally. - Yeah, we love you, Crisco. 16 00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,354 Oh, what's that Kelly Clarkson got that I don't? 17 00:01:00,354 --> 00:01:03,828 We all won singing contests 20 years ago. 18 00:01:03,828 --> 00:01:07,134 Oh, where's my infinity toilet? 19 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:10,240 Oh, that toilet isn't from American Idol money. 20 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,177 You're looking at daytime-syndicated 21 00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:13,179 talk show wealth. 22 00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:14,650 See those mega mansions? 23 00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:17,354 Well, they belong to the superstars of daytime TV: 24 00:01:17,354 --> 00:01:19,392 - Rachael Ray, Wendy Williams, - Hey, hey. Hey, hey. 25 00:01:19,392 --> 00:01:21,195 and that jerk Doctor Phil. 26 00:01:21,195 --> 00:01:24,870 All bought and paid for with syndicated megabucks. 27 00:01:24,870 --> 00:01:26,707 I see something in you, Krusty. 28 00:01:26,707 --> 00:01:29,078 Oh, I was gonna put it back. 29 00:01:29,078 --> 00:01:30,515 You have daytime chops. 30 00:01:30,515 --> 00:01:32,652 There's always a place on TV for a Regis-- 31 00:01:32,652 --> 00:01:35,190 a cranky but lovable, sexless grandpa. 32 00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:37,595 Yeah, and what makes you the expert? 33 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,342 Here's the real test. Get that mom squad dancing. 34 00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:47,147 Daytime audiences love to dance. 35 00:01:47,147 --> 00:01:49,218 Forget it, lady. I still got my dignity. 36 00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,356 Hey, wait. 37 00:01:51,356 --> 00:01:52,859 Mm... 38 00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:54,395 Hey, hey, Bryson! 39 00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:57,334 Your mom wanted me to congratulate you on... 40 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,973 getting your braces tightened. 41 00:01:59,973 --> 00:02:02,144 Make up a rap about it? 42 00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:04,983 Look, fine, I'll dance. 43 00:02:07,154 --> 00:02:10,193 ♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪ 44 00:02:10,193 --> 00:02:11,462 ♪ With the fur ♪ 45 00:02:11,462 --> 00:02:14,670 ♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ 46 00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:16,472 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 47 00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:18,209 ♪ Next thing you know ♪ 48 00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:21,850 ♪ Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low ♪ 49 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:25,057 ♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps. ♪ 50 00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:31,102 What's taking so long? 51 00:02:31,102 --> 00:02:33,139 All this food I can't eat is taunting me. 52 00:02:33,139 --> 00:02:35,945 I read that grain-free is supposed to be good. 53 00:02:35,945 --> 00:02:37,281 Or was it grain-full? 54 00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,884 Mom, can we get a gecko? 55 00:02:38,884 --> 00:02:40,521 I want a guinea pig. 56 00:02:40,521 --> 00:02:42,926 How about both in one cage, and see what happens? 57 00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:45,163 - No, no, no. - Yeah, please, mom? 58 00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:47,167 - Please, come on, a gecko and a guinea pig. - No! Why would we... 59 00:02:55,585 --> 00:02:59,225 Marge, honestly, is this how you pictured your life? 60 00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:01,229 I think not. 61 00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:04,068 Yes, I lick my behind. Big surprise. 62 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:06,105 Excuse me, would you like to come participate 63 00:03:06,105 --> 00:03:07,675 in a focus group? 64 00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:10,213 Yes, anything but this. 65 00:03:10,213 --> 00:03:11,850 Just pick a food. 66 00:03:12,986 --> 00:03:14,623 Oh... 67 00:03:16,827 --> 00:03:20,233 We want to know what you want in your daytime programming. 68 00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,972 There are no wrong answers and no bad ideas. 69 00:03:22,972 --> 00:03:25,545 In that case, recipes. 70 00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:26,647 Sure. 71 00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:29,185 Air-fryer recipes. 72 00:03:31,857 --> 00:03:33,928 Celebrities come on the show? 73 00:03:33,928 --> 00:03:35,363 Well, yes, obviously, but... 74 00:03:35,363 --> 00:03:37,134 Put it on the board, then. 75 00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,338 Uh, I was thinking... 76 00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:42,077 Something with vacuums. 77 00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:48,524 Shiny coat or liver support? 78 00:03:48,524 --> 00:03:51,329 Why are they doing this to us? 79 00:03:52,164 --> 00:03:54,870 - Hats? - What about hats, Helen? 80 00:03:55,838 --> 00:03:57,074 Maybe... 81 00:03:57,074 --> 00:03:59,378 babies wearing hats? 82 00:03:59,378 --> 00:04:02,251 And it's a whole baby hat fashion show? 83 00:04:02,251 --> 00:04:03,954 - Exactly. Exactly. - Oh, yeah, there you go. - Ooh. 84 00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:05,490 That's not bad. 85 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,896 And you know how there are just too many 86 00:04:07,896 --> 00:04:09,733 dog food options these days? 87 00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:13,072 What if you brought out Instagram dogs 88 00:04:13,072 --> 00:04:15,243 and had them do a taste test? 89 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,247 Wow! Well, that's really good. 90 00:04:17,247 --> 00:04:18,884 What other ideas do you have? 91 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,755 Candle unboxing and sniffing. 92 00:04:20,755 --> 00:04:24,328 Celebrities read nice tweets about other celebrities. 93 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,834 Unexpected jack-o'-lanterns. 94 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,804 Funny bed-making fails. 95 00:04:28,804 --> 00:04:29,773 And... 96 00:04:29,773 --> 00:04:33,647 tweens explain TikToks to carpool moms. 97 00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:34,916 Eh? 98 00:04:36,185 --> 00:04:38,389 You're a natural. You've got nice ideas 99 00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:40,093 coming out the wazoo. 100 00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:43,133 You know, I'm in the market for a new segment producer. 101 00:04:43,133 --> 00:04:44,468 You are? 102 00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:45,938 Will you excuse me for a second? 103 00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:47,374 Jerry, you're fired. 104 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:49,913 I'm... I'm free. 105 00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:53,186 Segment producer? 106 00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:54,623 I don't know. I-I should probably 107 00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,662 talk it over with my family. 108 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,609 I'll take the job. 109 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,181 Be warned, segment producer. 110 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,953 No one makes it out of these shows unchanged. 111 00:05:09,953 --> 00:05:13,459 Oh, well, then it's a good thing I'm not much of a changer. 112 00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:16,199 You can keep your job or you can keep your soul, 113 00:05:16,199 --> 00:05:17,434 but you can't keep both. 114 00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,906 Also, when you turn in your receipts, 115 00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:22,779 break them down between dining and mileage 116 00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:25,585 or you'll await the reimbursements... 117 00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:26,820 forever! 118 00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:35,972 So this is behind the scenes of a TV show. 119 00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:38,109 So much hustle. 120 00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:39,746 And bustle. 121 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,723 Mm... mm. 122 00:05:45,525 --> 00:05:47,094 This is your desk. 123 00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:50,535 And this is where you can pin all your genius segment ideas. 124 00:05:50,535 --> 00:05:52,539 With five shows a week, it's very important 125 00:05:52,539 --> 00:05:55,010 that you always be thinking up segments. 126 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,212 A daytime talk show without 127 00:05:56,212 --> 00:05:59,018 fun and interesting segments is like a... 128 00:05:59,018 --> 00:06:01,022 You, finish my metaphor. 129 00:06:01,022 --> 00:06:02,391 Uh, um... 130 00:06:02,391 --> 00:06:04,729 Get me a baked potato 131 00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:07,267 so I can throw it at your head. 132 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,371 Now! 133 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:12,545 Okay, I'll leave you to it. 134 00:06:15,651 --> 00:06:17,589 Oh, I-I don't need to order lunch. 135 00:06:17,589 --> 00:06:21,095 My kids packed mine as a special treat for my first day. 136 00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,966 Aw. 137 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:28,076 Hmm. Maybe I will take a look at that menu. 138 00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:31,650 Can I order you something, um... What-what's your name? 139 00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,021 Uh, to make it simpler for the producers, 140 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,591 we're-we're all named Jordan. 141 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,536 I should've ordered some salad 142 00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:45,043 to go with my salad toppings. 143 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,784 Mm. 144 00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:54,696 Oh. 145 00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:58,837 What the hell is this? 146 00:06:58,837 --> 00:07:00,875 You people didn't write me any jokes. 147 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,446 You don't need jokes. The women in our audience 148 00:07:03,446 --> 00:07:05,483 are just happy to be out of the house. 149 00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:08,256 They want to dance to clean versions of Pitbull songs 150 00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:11,797 and go home with a free copy of a Real Housewives memoir. 151 00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:14,101 Your only job is just be nice. 152 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,072 It's all about nice. 153 00:07:16,072 --> 00:07:19,011 Did you just make eye contact with the host? 154 00:07:19,011 --> 00:07:20,380 No, I would never! 155 00:07:21,415 --> 00:07:23,252 - Aah! - Oh! 156 00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:26,860 Ladies and gay friends, I'm MC Hairbone, 157 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,633 the funkiest daytime DJ in the world. 158 00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:32,004 Get on your feet for your newest, non-threatening-est 159 00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,676 king of late morning or early afternoon 160 00:07:34,676 --> 00:07:37,214 depending on your local market and time zone: 161 00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:38,951 Krusty! 162 00:07:38,951 --> 00:07:41,255 ♪ Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur ♪ 163 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:42,792 ♪ With the fur ♪ 164 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,765 ♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ 165 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:48,002 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 166 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,240 ♪ Next thing you know, shawty got low, low ♪ 167 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,979 ♪ Low, low, low, low, low, low ♪ 168 00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:56,352 ♪ Them baggy sweat pants and the Reeboks with the straps ♪ 169 00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:58,624 -♪ With the straps ♪ -♪ She turned around and gave ♪ 170 00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:00,795 ♪ That big booty a slap. ♪ 171 00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:03,032 Look at this. 172 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:05,971 I already got a wardrobe malfunction. 173 00:08:07,809 --> 00:08:09,813 That's the kind of joke we get. 174 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:13,987 - Ah. -♪ 175 00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:18,697 Oh, my God, this is my first segment. 176 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:21,570 I hope people like it, Jordan. 177 00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,640 Look at this guy. He's saying, 178 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,546 "I'm gonna wrangle me up a nap." 179 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:30,453 These are my people. 180 00:08:30,453 --> 00:08:33,292 And they're raising the roof for my idea. 181 00:08:33,292 --> 00:08:36,399 Can you believe we get paid for this? 182 00:08:36,399 --> 00:08:38,136 We don't. 183 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:42,945 Bart, you're taking this really well. 184 00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:45,183 I'd have thought you'd be hatching some scheme 185 00:08:45,183 --> 00:08:47,054 to get the old Krusty show back. 186 00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,122 Why would I do that? 187 00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:50,694 I've got my favorite Krusty episodes right here. 188 00:08:50,694 --> 00:08:52,932 More than 700 of 'em. 189 00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:56,272 Hm, kind of makes you think. 190 00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,811 Once you have enough episodes of any classic show, 191 00:08:58,811 --> 00:09:01,015 why do you need to keep making more? 192 00:09:01,015 --> 00:09:02,819 Well, the reason is... 193 00:09:02,819 --> 00:09:04,522 Shh. Watching classic Krusty. 194 00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:10,467 Oh, it's just so easy. 195 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:12,304 I don't have to be funny anymore. 196 00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:13,574 I just have to be nice. 197 00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:16,045 It's the greatest grift I've ever done. 198 00:09:16,045 --> 00:09:19,786 I'm gonna go buy some cars. 199 00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:22,390 - Mm... - You did a great job today, Marge. 200 00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:25,698 You know, we women have to stick together in this business. 201 00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,735 But I also want you to never quite be sure 202 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,238 where you stand with me, and just have 203 00:09:29,238 --> 00:09:32,612 a general sense of unease about my intentions. 204 00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:34,248 Does that make sense? 205 00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:35,951 I think so. 206 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:36,953 Great. 207 00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,590 Okay, everybody, conference room. 208 00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:40,293 Pitch meeting for tomorrow. 209 00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:41,530 You, plaid shirt. 210 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:43,600 Not you. Plaid shirt, tall. Yeah. 211 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,036 Bring the binder of dinner menus. 212 00:09:45,036 --> 00:09:47,107 -♪ Let me talk to 'em ♪ -♪ Come on ♪ 213 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:49,579 -♪ Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans ♪ -♪ Jeans ♪ 214 00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:52,451 -♪ Boots with the fur ♪ -♪ With the fur ♪ 215 00:09:52,451 --> 00:09:55,724 ♪ The whole club was lookin' at her ♪ 216 00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:56,960 -♪ She hit the floor ♪ -♪ She hit the floor ♪ 217 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,198 ♪ Next thing you know, low ♪ 218 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,168 ♪ Hey, I ain't never seen nothing that'll make me go ♪ 219 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,039 ♪ This crazy all night, spending my dough ♪ 220 00:10:03,039 --> 00:10:04,876 ♪ Had a million-dollar vibe and a body to go ♪ 221 00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:07,515 ♪ Them birthday cakes, they stole the show, so sexual ♪ 222 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,118 ♪ She was flexible, professional ♪ 223 00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,721 ♪ Drinking X and O ♪ 224 00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:12,290 ♪ Hold up wait a minute, do I see ♪ 225 00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:14,963 -♪ What I think I, whoa ♪ -♪ Come on. ♪ 226 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,804 Homie, I'm so sorry I'm late. 227 00:10:18,804 --> 00:10:21,776 You would not believe the day I had. 228 00:10:21,776 --> 00:10:24,582 Oh, please, let's eat. I'm starving. 229 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,620 Oh, but if the bill looks high, it's because 230 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,191 I already ate a full meal here. 231 00:10:30,594 --> 00:10:32,397 And then Krusty didn't even tell us 232 00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:34,368 he had swapped the A and B blocks. 233 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,771 I'd already preset the demo table 234 00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:38,710 for my segment, "popcorn maker wars." 235 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,280 So, then it's my fault 236 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,518 the "reuniting soldiers and their dogs" segment 237 00:10:42,518 --> 00:10:44,254 was such a disaster? 238 00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:47,360 Carla's the one who turned on the popcorn machines. 239 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,699 And that's Hair Department Carla? 240 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:52,638 No, Hair Department Carla is blonde. 241 00:10:52,638 --> 00:10:54,474 You know, my day was pretty crazy, too. 242 00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:57,882 Lenny came in this morning with a ladybug on his shirt, 243 00:10:57,882 --> 00:11:00,955 and we were seeing how long before he noticed it. 244 00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:03,660 Segment idea: "Krusty goes blond." 245 00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:07,334 Lenny made it all the way to lunch 246 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,006 and then the little guy just fell off on its own. 247 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,580 We called him Ladybug Lenny 248 00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,416 for the rest of the day! 249 00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:19,526 Ah, ladybugs. 250 00:11:19,526 --> 00:11:21,696 Oh, I have to go back to the office. 251 00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,901 The viral skateboard grandma we booked for tomorrow 252 00:11:23,901 --> 00:11:26,773 has a history of racist tweets. 253 00:11:27,942 --> 00:11:31,248 Uh, Marge, I forgot my wallet. 254 00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:35,624 Hmm. 255 00:11:35,624 --> 00:11:39,632 No. Too edgy. Too soft. 256 00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,968 What is this, Corden? 257 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:41,870 Seen it. 258 00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:44,174 Not timely. Too timely. 259 00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:45,644 Way too soft. 260 00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:47,347 What is this, Fallon? 261 00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:49,351 "Good luck Mom, we love you." 262 00:11:49,351 --> 00:11:50,654 I don't even get this. 263 00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,992 Is that all you got? 264 00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:55,698 Mm... 265 00:11:56,833 --> 00:12:00,306 Guys, I know I've been a little stressed lately, 266 00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:04,081 but it's so nice for us to all sit down together. 267 00:12:04,081 --> 00:12:07,354 It's okay, Mom. You're doing your dream job. 268 00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:09,057 Yeah, we're proud of you, Mom. 269 00:12:09,057 --> 00:12:10,661 Now pass the index cards. 270 00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:11,529 The what? 271 00:12:11,529 --> 00:12:13,600 I'm hungry for segments. 272 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,403 Aah! 273 00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,407 What's the matter, Marge? 274 00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,977 You haven't even touched 275 00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:21,783 your steamed pushpins. 276 00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:25,023 Aah! 277 00:12:40,587 --> 00:12:42,424 Aah! Oh! 278 00:12:42,424 --> 00:12:44,963 Eh? 279 00:12:50,273 --> 00:12:51,776 Aah! 280 00:12:56,686 --> 00:12:59,257 Mm. Mm... 281 00:12:59,257 --> 00:13:00,928 Look alive, people. The big boss 282 00:13:00,928 --> 00:13:02,932 wants to see everyone for a meeting. 283 00:13:02,932 --> 00:13:06,205 Krusty's here? But we don't tape for another eight minutes. 284 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,810 I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am 285 00:13:08,810 --> 00:13:10,246 for all your hard work. 286 00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:12,250 I never knew doing a television show 287 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,256 could require so little effort on my part. 288 00:13:15,256 --> 00:13:18,830 If anyone needs anything, I'll be in my spray tan tent. 289 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:21,368 Thanks, Krusty. You earned it. 290 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,241 Back to work. We need 50 branded segment ideas 291 00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,682 for Menopause Chapstick and something called Cereal Wine. 292 00:13:29,484 --> 00:13:32,257 At this solemn and holy moment, 293 00:13:32,257 --> 00:13:33,660 I baptize thee... 294 00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:41,509 How are we supposed to do surprise makeovers 295 00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:42,878 on the mailmen you brought in? 296 00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:44,882 Every one of them is already gorgeous. 297 00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:46,820 Shh! 298 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,527 Special thanks to the Pre-K Pop and Lock Crew. 299 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,571 - That was great. - It was fine. 300 00:13:55,571 --> 00:13:56,873 I mean, look me in the eye 301 00:13:56,873 --> 00:13:59,812 and tell me where the GIF was. Tell me. 302 00:13:59,812 --> 00:14:02,685 Uh, uh, uh, when the little kid breakdanced. 303 00:14:02,685 --> 00:14:04,187 Um, excuse me, Marge, 304 00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:06,960 there seems to be an emergency at your house. 305 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,033 What is so important that you pulled me out of work? 306 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,070 Marge, there's no emergency. 307 00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:14,542 Have a seat. This is an intervention. 308 00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:19,552 I missed the big reveal? You said I had time. 309 00:14:19,552 --> 00:14:21,288 Midge, go out and come back in. 310 00:14:21,288 --> 00:14:23,894 Aw, nah, forget that. Who's that even for? 311 00:14:23,894 --> 00:14:26,666 All right, all right, intervention. And, uh, go. 312 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,837 If this is about the melatonin gummies, 313 00:14:28,837 --> 00:14:30,941 I can stop whenever I want. 314 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,545 No, Marge. We're interventioning 315 00:14:32,545 --> 00:14:34,314 you and your whole deal. 316 00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:36,251 I never thought I'd speak ill of TV, 317 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,790 but I think it's destroying you. 318 00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:41,763 PATTY and SELMA: Mm-hmm. 319 00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:44,267 Cut to commercial. 320 00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:50,179 Okay, let's make this quick. Everybody say your little thing. 321 00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:52,217 We're just worried about you, Marge. 322 00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:55,256 Look, even your best friend Luann is here. 323 00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:56,826 Best friend? 324 00:14:56,826 --> 00:14:58,830 We haven't had the conversation yet, 325 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,834 but it's unspoken. 326 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,905 Mom, we want to be supportive of your dreams, 327 00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:05,878 but you just don't seem to be enjoying it anymore. 328 00:15:05,878 --> 00:15:08,282 Oh, I'm sorry. 329 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,621 Sorry that you're all so threatened 330 00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,691 by a powerful, successful woman. 331 00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:16,231 Lisa, as a feminist, you should be ashamed of yourself. 332 00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:18,870 Really? Just this week the show's done 333 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:21,308 "sext your way out of traffic school" 334 00:15:21,308 --> 00:15:25,116 and debuted a new daily segment called "trends in cleavage." 335 00:15:25,116 --> 00:15:28,557 When's this show on again? 336 00:15:28,557 --> 00:15:29,625 Mm? 337 00:15:31,996 --> 00:15:35,136 The Internet's on fire about our story 338 00:15:35,136 --> 00:15:38,109 exposing the toxic work environment at Krusty. 339 00:15:38,109 --> 00:15:40,881 - Inexcusable. - I heard they made all the interns 340 00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,985 convert to Judaism and work on Christmas, 341 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,223 then convert back and work on Passover. 342 00:15:45,223 --> 00:15:47,160 Mm-hmm. 343 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,231 This is a disaster. 344 00:15:49,231 --> 00:15:52,170 We can finish this dumb thing later. 345 00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:55,409 Hmm. So, um, what's the move here? 346 00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,615 Well, is there anything else we can work on? 347 00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:58,783 Hey Homer, how's the drinking? 348 00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,219 Same. 349 00:16:07,902 --> 00:16:09,337 What the hell is this? 350 00:16:09,337 --> 00:16:12,277 For the first time in my life, I'm not responsible 351 00:16:12,277 --> 00:16:15,851 for a toxic work environment. I'm barely ever here. 352 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:18,055 Physically, and certainly not mentally. 353 00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:19,224 Don't worry, Krusty. 354 00:16:19,224 --> 00:16:21,930 I'm going to find whoever said it's terrible to work here 355 00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:25,303 and personally bully them until their hair falls out in clumps. 356 00:16:25,303 --> 00:16:28,309 But what you need now is a redemption episode. 357 00:16:28,309 --> 00:16:31,148 And I know I speak for the entire staff when I say 358 00:16:31,148 --> 00:16:33,987 we're willing to pull an all-nighter to make it happen. 359 00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:37,995 Aah! 360 00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,399 Yeah, and you'll write me one of those apologies 361 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,303 where it sounds like I'm sorry but I'm not actually 362 00:16:42,303 --> 00:16:44,341 taking the blame for anything? 363 00:16:44,341 --> 00:16:46,713 I've done hundreds of these. It's actually a template 364 00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:48,415 in the software we use. 365 00:16:49,919 --> 00:16:51,355 Uh, what else? 366 00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:53,827 Bart, you got to be addicted to something by now. 367 00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:55,396 None of your business. 368 00:16:55,396 --> 00:16:57,033 Fair enough. 369 00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,004 : ♪ Shawty had them ♪ 370 00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:02,110 -♪ Apple Bottom jeans ♪ -♪ Jeans ♪ 371 00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:04,782 ♪ Boots with the fur ♪ 372 00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:07,086 ♪ With the fur. ♪ 373 00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:09,190 I was devastated to learn that our show 374 00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:12,263 has become a toxic work environment. 375 00:17:12,263 --> 00:17:14,769 Well, even though I knew absolutely nothing 376 00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:18,409 about what was going on, the buck stops with me. 377 00:17:18,409 --> 00:17:22,016 And I promise you, I'm going to take some time to listen, 378 00:17:22,016 --> 00:17:26,058 learn, not touch, and listen. 379 00:17:27,728 --> 00:17:30,132 What the hell is this?! 380 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,070 How am I supposed to do the salad shake 381 00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,642 if it's not in its original container? 382 00:17:34,642 --> 00:17:36,111 Aah! 383 00:17:38,449 --> 00:17:40,286 Oh, my God. 384 00:17:40,286 --> 00:17:42,457 What have I become? 385 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:51,441 I was completely unaware of the following policies: 386 00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:53,145 if employees see me in my car, 387 00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:55,182 they must lower imaginary sunglasses 388 00:17:55,182 --> 00:17:57,353 as if impressed and aroused. 389 00:17:57,353 --> 00:17:59,457 Krusty, you don't need to do this. 390 00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:01,529 The world needs to know the truth. 391 00:18:01,529 --> 00:18:04,401 It's the system of daytime TV that's toxic. 392 00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:06,371 It's turned us all into monsters 393 00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:08,242 fueled by stress, gaslighting, 394 00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:10,681 and $15 kale Caesar salads. 395 00:18:10,681 --> 00:18:13,285 The pressure to crank out so much nice 396 00:18:13,285 --> 00:18:15,489 brings out the worst in us. 397 00:18:15,489 --> 00:18:18,763 We just wanted to bring more nice in the world. 398 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,901 More nice. 399 00:18:20,901 --> 00:18:22,705 Okay, new speech. 400 00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,174 This non-apology apology 401 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,713 just became a real apology. 402 00:18:26,713 --> 00:18:27,948 This place isn't toxic 403 00:18:27,948 --> 00:18:30,486 because of whoever this lady is 404 00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:32,558 or "the system." 405 00:18:32,558 --> 00:18:35,029 It's toxic because of me. 406 00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:37,100 I'm a showbiz monster. 407 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,970 I'm not nice. 408 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,008 So I'm stepping away from the show... 409 00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:42,745 forever. 410 00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:44,047 Wha? 411 00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,953 Krusty. Krusty, you don't have to do this. 412 00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:48,489 It's not your fault. 413 00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:50,627 Look, lady, I couldn't agree with you more. 414 00:18:50,627 --> 00:18:53,432 Everyone who works here except me is nuts. 415 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:56,438 I just quit because I closed the deal for a new gig 416 00:18:56,438 --> 00:18:58,510 which makes daytime talk show money 417 00:18:58,510 --> 00:19:00,847 look like late night talk show money. 418 00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:03,152 TV judge syndication money. 419 00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:04,187 A judge? 420 00:19:04,187 --> 00:19:07,928 Judge Judy is the richest TV star in the world. 421 00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:10,132 So I'm gonna be Judge Krusty. 422 00:19:10,132 --> 00:19:13,072 I can let my body go, just sit on my keister 423 00:19:13,072 --> 00:19:15,409 and speak truth to stupid all day. 424 00:19:15,409 --> 00:19:18,983 All right, I got to go work on my humiliation quips. 425 00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:20,821 You ever do any bailiffing? 426 00:19:20,821 --> 00:19:21,856 Some. 427 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,593 No more show? 428 00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:27,634 I'm... I'm free. 429 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,041 Oh come on, why would you do that? 430 00:19:31,041 --> 00:19:33,412 Sorry, Pat, sorry, sorry. 431 00:19:34,447 --> 00:19:35,917 Oh, come on. 432 00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,120 Don't sneeze on my robe 433 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,224 and tell me I'm in a car wash. 434 00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:41,228 Did you fall out of the stupid tree 435 00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:43,098 and land in the idiot mulch? 436 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,969 His quips could use some work. 437 00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,572 Mulch. 438 00:19:46,572 --> 00:19:48,843 Do you ever miss working in TV, Mom? 439 00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:52,183 There was at least a week there where you seemed to enjoy it. 440 00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:54,655 Sure, it was rewarding at first. 441 00:19:54,655 --> 00:19:56,859 But this experience has made me realize 442 00:19:56,859 --> 00:20:01,001 my real dream job is producing this family. 443 00:20:01,001 --> 00:20:02,504 And now, as a consultant, 444 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,975 I get the best of both worlds. 445 00:20:06,478 --> 00:20:08,449 Marge, it's Drew. I need your help. 446 00:20:08,449 --> 00:20:10,954 I got no A block for tomorrow. 447 00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:12,524 Let me see... 448 00:20:12,524 --> 00:20:14,427 Have you seen the viral grandpa? 449 00:20:14,427 --> 00:20:16,566 The one who raises baby ducks? 450 00:20:16,566 --> 00:20:20,507 Yes, I'm thinking surprise spa day for him. 451 00:20:20,507 --> 00:20:22,945 And an extreme pond makeover for the ducks. 452 00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:26,351 Oh, Marge, are you sure you won't come work for me? 453 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,055 That's very sweet, Drew, 454 00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:30,493 but my daytime days are over. 455 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:35,202 Oh... 456 00:20:36,271 --> 00:20:37,708 I'll be in touch. 457 00:20:37,708 --> 00:20:39,912 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 458 00:20:39,912 --> 00:20:41,916 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 459 00:20:41,916 --> 00:20:43,686 and TOYOTA. 460 00:20:43,686 --> 00:20:44,922 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 461 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:51,334 Here at Segments, we believe 462 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:54,274 there is life after daytime. 463 00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:56,646 Our patients have suffered indescribable trauma 464 00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:59,885 from TV hosts perpetuating the cycle of abuse 465 00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:01,455 handed down since the days 466 00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:03,660 of The Mike Douglas Show. 467 00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:06,331 We treat all aspects of PTSD-- 468 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,202 post talk show disorder-- 469 00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:09,605 compulsive fake laughter, 470 00:21:09,605 --> 00:21:11,843 guest cancellation night terrors, 471 00:21:11,843 --> 00:21:13,412 long haul Kelly Ripas... 472 00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:15,717 Lindsey, who are you talking to? 473 00:21:15,717 --> 00:21:16,919 The audience. 474 00:21:16,919 --> 00:21:18,322 I'm warming up the audience. 475 00:21:18,322 --> 00:21:20,259 It's all on the teleprompter! 476 00:21:21,094 --> 00:21:22,497 Why don't you just put this on 477 00:21:22,497 --> 00:21:24,100 for a "who wore it best" segment? 478 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,939 Mm! 479 00:21:30,814 --> 00:21:32,416 Shh!