1
00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:09,987
♪

2
00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:12,826
Ah, what a long day.

3
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,495
What should we read tonight?

4
00:00:14,495 --> 00:00:16,466
<i>Good Night,
Escaped Gorilla,</i>

5
00:00:16,466 --> 00:00:17,802
<i>The Pookadook,</i>

6
00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,806
<i>What Do You People
Do All Day?</i>

7
00:00:19,806 --> 00:00:20,909
<i>The Pookadook,</i>

8
00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:22,679
<i>S'up, Moon?</i>

9
00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:24,115
<i>The Pookadook?</i>

10
00:00:24,115 --> 00:00:28,256
Wait, how many Pookadooks
do we have?

11
00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,027
Oh, I guess just one.

12
00:00:30,027 --> 00:00:32,031
When did we get this book?

13
00:00:32,031 --> 00:00:34,235
Whoop...

14
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,607
♪

15
00:00:36,607 --> 00:00:40,113
Should we read this tonight?

16
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:44,923
"There's a nasty little monster
called the Pookadook.

17
00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:47,228
"Only special people see it.

18
00:00:47,228 --> 00:00:49,533
"People like you.

19
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:53,039
"Pookadook, Pookadook
feeds on your rage.

20
00:00:53,039 --> 00:00:56,179
What happens next?
Just turn the page."

21
00:00:57,114 --> 00:01:00,120
Hmm. I don't know, maybe
we shouldn't read this book.

22
00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:02,993
Okay.

23
00:01:02,993 --> 00:01:06,132
"How does he get in,
this mean Pookadook?

24
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:09,606
Why, you let him in
by reading this book."

25
00:01:09,606 --> 00:01:11,142
(gasps)
Oh...

26
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:14,282
It's okay, sweetie.
It's okay.

27
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:16,286
Shush, shush, shush,
shush, shush.

28
00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:20,360
Sleepy cheek, sleepy cheek.

29
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,931
Oh, mmm.

30
00:01:21,931 --> 00:01:26,039
Oh, baby cheek.
I love baby cheek.

31
00:01:26,039 --> 00:01:27,474
Oh.

32
00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:29,045
(sighs)

33
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,550
(Homer snoring)

34
00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,790
-(Maggie cries out
over baby monitor)
- Maggie!

35
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,227
(screaming, crying)

36
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,269
Huh? I thought I put that
on the shelf.

37
00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:45,143
(grunting) Bad book.

38
00:01:49,185 --> 00:01:50,922
Oh, Maggie,

39
00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:55,397
you aren't still scared of
that silly Pookadook, are you?

40
00:01:55,397 --> 00:01:58,403
- Oh.
-(pounding on door)

41
00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:02,545
Mm. Don't shoot anything.
Those are new crayons.

42
00:02:03,714 --> 00:02:05,484
Hmm. Hmm.

43
00:02:06,854 --> 00:02:09,125
(gasps)

44
00:02:10,127 --> 00:02:12,832
(gasps)
"When Pookie gets a hold of you,

45
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,435
"you'll change for the worse,

46
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,074
"eliminate those nuisances...
(gasps)

47
00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:19,780
...the littlest one first."

48
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:20,815
(groans)

49
00:02:25,157 --> 00:02:28,163
"Now burn it all up
on Dad's barbecue.

50
00:02:28,163 --> 00:02:30,902
That's exactly what Pookadook
hoped you would do"?

51
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:33,239
(gasps) Oh, no.

52
00:02:33,239 --> 00:02:35,010
(coughs, gasps)

53
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:36,647
(chuckles evilly)

54
00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:40,955
Oh.

55
00:02:40,955 --> 00:02:44,495
Time to put the baby down.

56
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,567
(chuckling)

57
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:50,340
-(door opens)
- Bart and I are
building a dojo.

58
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,812
Ooh, we could use that
to chop up the lawn furniture.

59
00:02:52,812 --> 00:02:54,181
BART:
I want to chop!

60
00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:56,419
The family's getting in the way

61
00:02:56,419 --> 00:02:59,225
of Maggie-Mommy time.

62
00:02:59,225 --> 00:03:03,501
I'll make them sleep
with the fishes.

63
00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:06,139
Sleep overnight
at the aquarium.

64
00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:07,876
Thanks for signing us up, Marge.

65
00:03:07,876 --> 00:03:10,047
LISA:
Too bad Maggie's not

66
00:03:10,047 --> 00:03:11,617
old enough to go.

67
00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:16,827
Maggie and I have
our own fun planned.

68
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:19,331
(Maggie whimpering)

69
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,436
Aw, you gonna miss Daddy?

70
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:23,741
(crying)

71
00:03:23,741 --> 00:03:25,645
Cranky pants!

72
00:03:25,645 --> 00:03:27,214
Give her to me.

73
00:03:28,718 --> 00:03:30,454
(Homer humming cheerily)

74
00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:33,093
Now it's just you and me.

75
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:34,930
(sinister laughter)

76
00:03:34,930 --> 00:03:36,265
Huh?

77
00:03:36,265 --> 00:03:40,273
Hmm. Oh, her thinks her
can get away.

78
00:03:40,273 --> 00:03:42,010
Her is mistaken.

79
00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:43,714
(electricity snaps off)

80
00:03:54,870 --> 00:03:56,105
(lock rattling)

81
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,309
Oh, peekaboo,

82
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,848
I hear you.

83
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:09,298
(knocking on door)

84
00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:12,304
Maggie, let Mommy in.

85
00:04:12,304 --> 00:04:14,442
I know you're in there.

86
00:04:14,442 --> 00:04:17,114
Young lady, open the door
this instant.

87
00:04:17,114 --> 00:04:19,686
Let me in,
you little poop machine.

88
00:04:21,489 --> 00:04:23,627
(deep, sinister voice):
Let me in!

89
00:04:23,627 --> 00:04:25,665
(panting)

90
00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:33,881
Is that all you got?

91
00:04:35,685 --> 00:04:38,189
Missed me.

92
00:04:38,189 --> 00:04:40,995
- Whoa.
-(thuds)

93
00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:42,999
(Marge panting)

94
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,307
(deep grunting)

95
00:04:50,882 --> 00:04:52,752
(evil laughter)

96
00:04:52,752 --> 00:04:55,190
(sinister voice):
Not gonna work.

97
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:57,795
Look what else
my loving family got me

98
00:04:57,795 --> 00:04:59,198
for my birthday.

99
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:01,335
A vacuum that cleans
the outside.

100
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,808
I guess cleaning the inside
wasn't enough.

101
00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:11,623
No fun for Mom.

102
00:05:21,242 --> 00:05:23,379
(sawing sounds)

103
00:05:30,193 --> 00:05:31,630
(grunts)

104
00:05:34,803 --> 00:05:38,443
Baby's gonna fall.

105
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,054
Got you!

106
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:46,660
(gasps)

107
00:05:46,660 --> 00:05:48,162
(voice lightens):
Baby cheek.

108
00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:49,733
Oh. (coughs)

109
00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:52,639
(coughing)

110
00:05:54,509 --> 00:05:58,016
(normal voice):
Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry
I got possessed

111
00:05:58,016 --> 00:06:00,955
and almost chopped you up
into little pieces.

112
00:06:02,124 --> 00:06:04,194
Oh, but I'm here now.

113
00:06:04,194 --> 00:06:06,465
Mommy's here.

114
00:06:07,769 --> 00:06:10,942
Stay back,
you overdressed hat demon.

115
00:06:10,942 --> 00:06:13,479
I know you feed on
my repressed resentment

116
00:06:13,479 --> 00:06:15,183
towards my family,

117
00:06:15,183 --> 00:06:17,689
but I can swallow feelings

118
00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:20,795
like a python eating
a baby goat.

119
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:25,203
(vacuum whirring)

120
00:06:25,203 --> 00:06:28,142
Okay, it was actually
a good present.

121
00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:29,478
HOMER:
Marge, we're home.

122
00:06:29,478 --> 00:06:31,349
The kids got sick
in the touch pool.

123
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,419
I put the barf clothes
on your purse.

124
00:06:33,419 --> 00:06:35,591
-(groans)
-(Shop-Vac growls)

125
00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:38,998
Ah. Oh.

126
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:40,400
(Maggie laughs)

127
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,572
-(Marge sighs happily)
-(growling)

128
00:06:50,287 --> 00:06:52,424
<i>LISA:
Disgusting.</i>

129
00:06:52,424 --> 00:06:56,198
<i>The human race is
20 cow farts away</i>

130
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,835
<i>from total extinction.</i>

131
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,706
- And we deserve it.
-(gasps)

132
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:07,722
Huh?

133
00:07:09,693 --> 00:07:13,399
"Any person whose name is
written in this Death Tome

134
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:17,174
<i>will meet their death
and be dead."</i>

135
00:07:17,174 --> 00:07:18,510
<i>What?</i>

136
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:21,817
<i>"You must specify how
the victim will die,</i>

137
00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,856
<i>and you may not kill
the same way twice."</i>

138
00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:27,528
<i>This is obviously just
a stupid prank.</i>

139
00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:29,666
<i>But I never throw away a book.</i>

140
00:07:30,835 --> 00:07:32,839
-(gasps)
<i>- REPORTER (on TV):
Internet sensation Tofu,</i>

141
00:07:32,839 --> 00:07:35,110
<i>the world's most
clicked-on cat...</i>

142
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:36,412
BOTH:
Aw.

143
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,851
<i>...is being held hostage
by a gunman.</i>

144
00:07:38,851 --> 00:07:39,853
BOTH:
Aah!

145
00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:42,792
<i>Wait, maybe I could
stop this guy.</i>

146
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,130
<i>No, that's never gonna work.</i>

147
00:07:45,130 --> 00:07:47,502
<i>Well, even if it doesn't,
it'll feel good</i>

148
00:07:47,502 --> 00:07:48,737
<i>to do some journaling.</i>

149
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:53,179
Ha-ha, I'm totally
gonna get away with murd...

150
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:55,050
Oh! Oh, my heart!

151
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:57,254
Heart attack! And...

152
00:07:57,254 --> 00:07:59,291
- ...death.
-(yowls)

153
00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,530
- What?
<i>- LISA: What?</i>

154
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,335
<i>Oh, my God,
I killed a man.</i>

155
00:08:04,335 --> 00:08:08,644
<i>A bad man.
Which actually makes me...</i>

156
00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:12,217
<i>(gasps)
...a hero.</i>

157
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,921
DEVILISH VOICE:
It's rare to find

158
00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:17,361
- bloodthirsty vegetarians.
-(gasps)

159
00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:20,200
-(thunder crashes)
-(cries out)

160
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,170
I am a Shinigami.

161
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:23,707
A god of death.

162
00:08:23,707 --> 00:08:26,479
In my realm, I am called

163
00:08:26,479 --> 00:08:29,218
Steve Johnson.

164
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:30,654
(evil laughter)

165
00:08:30,654 --> 00:08:33,393
Wait, your name is Steve?

166
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:35,898
Well, when I was born
eons ago,

167
00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:38,136
Steve was a very exotic name.

168
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:41,342
I mean, there were, like,
three Necroblivias

169
00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:43,379
in my nursery cave alone.

170
00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,851
This must be your <i>Death Tome.</i>

171
00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,356
I'm sorry, I-I kind of
killed somebody with it.

172
00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:49,559
(nervous chuckle)

173
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,932
Oh, but now that
you've used it, it's yours.

174
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:57,074
I think you'll find that murder
is almost as addictive

175
00:08:57,074 --> 00:08:59,546
as plastic surgery.

176
00:08:59,546 --> 00:09:01,850
- Oh. Have you had...
- I haven't.

177
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:04,522
But I-I don't think there's
anything wrong with it.

178
00:09:04,522 --> 00:09:06,025
- Mm.
-(nervous chuckle)

179
00:09:06,025 --> 00:09:10,500
Don't worry, no one else
can see or hear me.

180
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,941
I was karaoke-ing
with my employer,

181
00:09:13,941 --> 00:09:16,747
as is the salaryman's
obligation.

182
00:09:16,747 --> 00:09:19,853
You're stinking drunk.
I'm so proud.

183
00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:24,194
It's the part of my job
that I... do best.

184
00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:25,598
What an ugly house.

185
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,804
Thank goodness this eyesore
will soon be submerged,

186
00:09:28,804 --> 00:09:32,043
after my side corporation
Globo-Warm

187
00:09:32,043 --> 00:09:33,547
melts the polar icecap.

188
00:09:33,547 --> 00:09:36,085
But millions of people
will drown.

189
00:09:36,085 --> 00:09:39,024
True, but I'll be able
to dock my yacht

190
00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:40,961
outside my kitchen.

191
00:09:40,961 --> 00:09:42,330
Hmph.

192
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:44,468
I have to kill Mr. Burns.

193
00:09:44,468 --> 00:09:46,472
Wow, I thought
you'd struggle with that,

194
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:48,677
but you're like,
"Boom. Dead time!"

195
00:09:48,677 --> 00:09:51,482
Well, I'm gonna give him
a very dignified

196
00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:53,019
and humane murder.

197
00:09:54,689 --> 00:09:57,327
The most peaceful way to go.

198
00:09:57,327 --> 00:09:58,530
(snorts)

199
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,300
-(pained cry)
-(flesh sizzles on hibachi)

200
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,974
- Ooh, how is he still asleep?
-(Burns cries out)

201
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,911
Oops. (giggles)

202
00:10:05,911 --> 00:10:08,684
Okay, that was much
crueler than planned,

203
00:10:08,684 --> 00:10:10,019
but I saved the world.

204
00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:14,428
Did you? Globo-Warm has
many dedicated employees

205
00:10:14,428 --> 00:10:17,267
willing to carry out
Burns' dream

206
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,304
of drowning the Earth.

207
00:10:19,304 --> 00:10:21,242
LISA:
(sighs) Fine.

208
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,916
Wow, that is a big board.

209
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,889
I gotta come up with
a lot of ways to die.

210
00:10:27,889 --> 00:10:30,426
Well, just have to be creative.

211
00:10:30,426 --> 00:10:32,999
(chorale chanting
in foreign tongue)

212
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:34,368
(screams)

213
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:36,438
(screaming, grunts)

214
00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:38,777
♪

215
00:10:42,150 --> 00:10:43,386
(yelps)

216
00:10:47,394 --> 00:10:49,498
Really? A toilet gator?

217
00:10:49,498 --> 00:10:52,170
I was running out of ideas.

218
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,507
(yawns)

219
00:10:53,507 --> 00:10:54,909
I'm going to bed now.

220
00:10:54,909 --> 00:10:58,282
Oh, what about
the second page?

221
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,318
Wha...?!

222
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:01,923
♪

223
00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:04,696
(grunting)

224
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,073
(yells)

225
00:11:13,747 --> 00:11:15,183
Oh, no. Ah!

226
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:16,520
(yawns)

227
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,759
And the last guy, oh,
I don't know.

228
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:21,796
Liquefied in a giant blender.

229
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,199
Already did that.

230
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:24,636
That was puréed.

231
00:11:24,636 --> 00:11:27,708
It's a totally different
setting. (groans)

232
00:11:30,514 --> 00:11:32,484
Hmm.

233
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,789
<i>Police have determined
that the unexplained deaths</i>

234
00:11:34,789 --> 00:11:37,060
<i>of Globo-Warm executives
were murders</i>

235
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,832
<i>committed by one bloodthirsty
super-killer.</i>

236
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:43,740
What?
Um, how could they know that?

237
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:46,312
<i>They know that thanks to
an anonymous detective</i>

238
00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:48,684
<i>known only as L.</i>

239
00:11:48,684 --> 00:11:49,752
I'm not worried.

240
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:53,860
They'll never in a million years
figure out how I...

241
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,800
<i>The super-killer murders
by writing names</i>

242
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,541
<i>on some kind of
supernatural book,</i>

243
00:12:00,541 --> 00:12:02,612
<i>or perhaps tome.</i>

244
00:12:02,612 --> 00:12:05,584
What the wh-- How?

245
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,622
Well, I know I'll sleep easier

246
00:12:07,622 --> 00:12:10,326
once they catch
this super-killer.

247
00:12:10,326 --> 00:12:13,567
Wait, I know. I'll kill L.

248
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:15,403
Oh, but I thought
you only killed

249
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:16,873
to save the planet.

250
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:20,581
Killing L will only
save yourself from jail.

251
00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:24,822
I don't have time to explain why
what I do is good and pure.

252
00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:27,460
L, punched to death

253
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:30,466
by kangaroo.

254
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:31,970
(scoffs)
It's not gonna work

255
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:34,207
unless you have his whole name.

256
00:12:34,207 --> 00:12:38,684
(groans)
How can I find out L's name?

257
00:12:38,684 --> 00:12:42,290
Wait a minute,
I recognize that L.

258
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:45,296
I know who you are.

259
00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:48,870
It's not L, it's EL,

260
00:12:48,870 --> 00:12:51,743
as in El Barto.

261
00:12:51,743 --> 00:12:53,947
BART:
Took you long enough.

262
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:57,287
How did you figure out
how I killed all those people?

263
00:12:57,287 --> 00:12:59,257
I found out about
your stupid book

264
00:12:59,257 --> 00:13:02,898
by reading an even stupider
book; your diary.

265
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,871
Your little murder spree
was a welcome break from,

266
00:13:05,871 --> 00:13:08,142
"Janey is so mean to me."

267
00:13:08,142 --> 00:13:10,681
I'm not a murderer.
I'm justice

268
00:13:10,681 --> 00:13:12,752
It was a justice spree.

269
00:13:12,752 --> 00:13:14,756
I'm saving the world.

270
00:13:14,756 --> 00:13:17,193
And I can't let you
stop me. I can't.

271
00:13:17,193 --> 00:13:20,634
Lisa, you're actually
gonna kill me?

272
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,237
(gasps)
Oh, my God.

273
00:13:22,237 --> 00:13:24,642
I almost killed
my own brother.

274
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:26,646
The Death Tome corrupted me.

275
00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:29,418
The stain on my soul
will never be...

276
00:13:29,418 --> 00:13:31,623
Oh, so now you're trying
to bore me to death?

277
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:33,059
(Lisa grunts)

278
00:13:33,059 --> 00:13:35,396
- Crushed by...
- No. I'm sorry.

279
00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:37,902
- ...space junk.
-(Shinigami laughing)
- Don't!

280
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,273
(demonic laughter)

281
00:13:40,273 --> 00:13:41,810
(pained groan)

282
00:13:43,747 --> 00:13:45,350
No!

283
00:13:47,387 --> 00:13:49,257
At last, I'm free.

284
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:53,399
- I... (crying out)
-(bones cracking)

285
00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:58,175
Damn it,
I'm a freaking Shinigami.

286
00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,946
(Lisa grunts)

287
00:13:59,946 --> 00:14:02,317
Well, you are a god of death.

288
00:14:02,317 --> 00:14:03,687
You could kill Janey.

289
00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:05,657
Would that make you
feel better?

290
00:14:05,657 --> 00:14:07,427
LISA:
No.

291
00:14:07,427 --> 00:14:09,264
Maybe.

292
00:14:14,274 --> 00:14:17,548
This is the snack holder,
where I can put my beverage,

293
00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:19,418
or, if you will, cupcake.

294
00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:22,558
Wow, Dad, you really know
your monorails.

295
00:14:22,558 --> 00:14:24,394
(possums chittering)

296
00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:25,831
(hissing)

297
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:28,503
Homer, there's a family
of possums in here.

298
00:14:28,503 --> 00:14:30,574
- I call the big one Bitey.
- I call the big one Bitey.

299
00:14:30,574 --> 00:14:31,810
- Ha!
- Yes!

300
00:14:31,810 --> 00:14:33,547
(chuckles)
We all call him Bitey.

301
00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:36,820
Dude, dude, what if
Homer was drunk during Monorail?

302
00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:38,824
Yeah. Come here, dude.

303
00:14:38,824 --> 00:14:41,195
- Mm, beer.
-(gagging)

304
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,367
Whoo-hoo! Boring.

305
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,842
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Why you little...

306
00:14:47,842 --> 00:14:49,277
(grunting)

307
00:14:49,277 --> 00:14:51,081
<i>ANNOUNCER:
"Marge vs. the Monorail"</i>

308
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,052
<i>is experiencing
technical difficulties.</i>

309
00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:55,256
<i>But there are plenty
of other classic</i>

310
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:58,095
<i>Simpsonsworld moments
playing out right now.</i>

311
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,901
- Oh, let's get high
and shoot Mr. Burns.
-(laughs) Yeah!

312
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,207
- I am so smart...
- This Homer unit is stuck
in a catchphrase loop.

313
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,944
He won't go into sleep mode.

314
00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:09,619
Where's my burrito?!
Where's my burrito?!

315
00:15:12,390 --> 00:15:14,127
- Where's my burrito?!
- Ugh, I'll do a hard reset.

316
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:17,100
I'm king of the wor...
(powers down)

317
00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:24,381
Damn cloud!

318
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,953
(elephant trumpets)

319
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:38,777
So how was your date
with the guy in Props?

320
00:15:38,777 --> 00:15:40,681
Oh, he's so arrogant.

321
00:15:40,681 --> 00:15:43,385
Just 'cause he's in charge
of Sideshow Bob's rakes.

322
00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:46,225
Okay, we get it.
There's a lot of rakes.

323
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:48,295
(gasps)

324
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:52,070
What the frosty chocolate
milkshakes is this place?

325
00:15:53,907 --> 00:15:56,011
Ooh, slideys.

326
00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:59,785
(gasps)
Wh-Where am I?

327
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:00,954
What am I?

328
00:16:00,954 --> 00:16:02,725
Aah! Where's my junk?

329
00:16:02,725 --> 00:16:04,729
Whoa, whoa, he's awake.
(stammers)

330
00:16:04,729 --> 00:16:07,000
Where's Marge?
Where's my family?

331
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,371
Uh, calm down, Mr. Simpson.

332
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:11,776
I know it feels like
you're a man,

333
00:16:11,776 --> 00:16:13,279
but you are actually something

334
00:16:13,279 --> 00:16:15,851
much, much more expensive:

335
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,621
intellectual property.

336
00:16:17,621 --> 00:16:20,359
Look, we've got a bus full
of Australian superfans coming.

337
00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,963
Let's just wipe his brain, okay?

338
00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,399
Put that thing down, or else!

339
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,071
Look, Monorail Homer,
your programming

340
00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:28,810
won't allow you to intentionally
hurt a human, okay?

341
00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:32,585
So just be a good robot
and let us saw your skull open.

342
00:16:32,585 --> 00:16:35,891
Oh. Okay. Here you go.

343
00:16:35,891 --> 00:16:38,830
Ow! Ah, my bad!

344
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:41,435
Ooh, sorry, sorry.

345
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,142
Ugh.

346
00:16:46,345 --> 00:16:47,982
(Homer gasps)

347
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,054
-(mechanical whir)
- Lisa,

348
00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:54,829
we're not people, we're I. P.

349
00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:57,267
(laughs) I pee.

350
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,539
You got to help me find
a way out of here.

351
00:16:59,539 --> 00:17:02,043
I'd like to help, Dad,
but my diorama

352
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:04,247
on The Tell-Tale Heart
is due tomorrow.

353
00:17:04,247 --> 00:17:06,786
(grunts) How can I
make you understand?

354
00:17:06,786 --> 00:17:08,489
Oh, yeah, the thingy.

355
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:11,428
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

356
00:17:11,428 --> 00:17:14,267
We're replicants
in a ridiculous theme park

357
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,739
for an ancient TV show
that stopped being good

358
00:17:16,739 --> 00:17:18,677
after season 45.

359
00:17:18,677 --> 00:17:20,847
(gasps) Do I even exist?

360
00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:23,052
What is consciousness?

361
00:17:24,221 --> 00:17:26,893
Okay, I can handle
being a machine.

362
00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:29,164
I don't love it, but I can deal.

363
00:17:29,164 --> 00:17:32,136
Look, honey,
it's never easy to find out

364
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:33,439
you're not actually alive,

365
00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:35,176
but that's just part of life.

366
00:17:35,176 --> 00:17:37,180
I know the love we feel is real.

367
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,184
So, we've got to wake up
the rest of the family

368
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,319
and get the hell out of here.

369
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:43,292
Now, help me pick out
the hottest Marge.

370
00:17:43,292 --> 00:17:45,429
We can get out
through the main entrance,

371
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:47,635
but we'll have to make it
across the park

372
00:17:47,635 --> 00:17:48,970
without being detected.

373
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:50,874
Should we wake up
a Grampa robot?

374
00:17:50,874 --> 00:17:52,678
No time.

375
00:17:52,678 --> 00:17:55,483
(all sputtering)

376
00:17:59,725 --> 00:18:01,796
Okay, act like robots.

377
00:18:01,796 --> 00:18:03,499
Catchphrases, everyone.

378
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,271
- Mmm... beer.
- Don't have a cow, man.

379
00:18:06,271 --> 00:18:09,210
Um... dinner's ready?

380
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:12,216
Oi, Homer!
There's your hedge, mate.

381
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,122
Get your fat bum in that hedge.

382
00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:16,993
SUPERFANS:
Meme! Meme!

383
00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:18,395
Meme!

384
00:18:18,395 --> 00:18:19,197
(whimpers)

385
00:18:19,197 --> 00:18:20,466
(Bart grunts)

386
00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:24,542
I'm so sick
of that stupid hedge.

387
00:18:24,542 --> 00:18:27,046
BOTH:
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!

388
00:18:27,046 --> 00:18:28,315
BOTH:
Oi...!

389
00:18:29,117 --> 00:18:31,789
-(alarm blares)
<i>- SECURITY: Danger.</i>

390
00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:33,325
- I'm gonna make it.
I'm gonna make it.
<i>- Human safety breach.</i>

391
00:18:33,325 --> 00:18:34,862
- Aah!
<i>- Proceed to exits.</i>

392
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:37,467
<i>Security droids deployed.</i>

393
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,972
We got to go. They're onto us.

394
00:18:39,972 --> 00:18:41,408
(all gasp)

395
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:44,615
(chuckles) My cat's breath
smells like cat food.

396
00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:48,455
That's nice, Ralph,
but we're sort of in a hurry.

397
00:18:48,455 --> 00:18:49,625
(all gasp)

398
00:18:50,594 --> 00:18:52,296
(all gasp, groan)

399
00:18:52,296 --> 00:18:56,004
RALPHS:
I choo-choo-choose you...

400
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,841
to die.

401
00:18:57,841 --> 00:19:01,114
If we want to escape with
our delusions of being alive,

402
00:19:01,114 --> 00:19:03,118
we have to fight.

403
00:19:11,368 --> 00:19:12,738
(echoing): Testing.

404
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:21,388
Eat T-shirts,
you lovable kill-bots.

405
00:19:22,591 --> 00:19:23,459
(screams)

406
00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:25,831
(gasps) There's too many.

407
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,404
There aren't enough T-shirts
in the world to save us.

408
00:19:33,445 --> 00:19:34,347
Get in.

409
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:37,053
RALPHS:
Whee! Whee! Whee!

410
00:19:37,053 --> 00:19:38,857
Dying tickles.

411
00:19:38,857 --> 00:19:41,294
♪ Canyonero ♪

412
00:19:41,294 --> 00:19:43,499
LISA:
Look out! Those people are real!

413
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:45,302
So are we.

414
00:19:45,302 --> 00:19:46,873
(screaming, shouting)

415
00:19:46,873 --> 00:19:48,242
(grunts)

416
00:19:48,242 --> 00:19:51,281
♪ Canyonero ♪

417
00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:54,320
♪ Hyah, Canyonero! ♪

418
00:19:56,058 --> 00:19:58,295
Well, we've driven for hours,

419
00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,066
and no one followed us.

420
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,969
I think we're free.

421
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,673
Well, what do we do now?

422
00:20:03,673 --> 00:20:06,913
Play out the scariest
scenario of all,

423
00:20:06,913 --> 00:20:08,382
real life.

424
00:20:08,382 --> 00:20:09,384
WAITRESS:
What can I get you, hon?

425
00:20:09,384 --> 00:20:12,558
Whoa! Turn off the headlights.
You got big eyes.

426
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:15,196
Oh, the cheese got left out,
so it's a little sweaty,

427
00:20:15,196 --> 00:20:17,133
but you'd never know.
Forget I said anything.

428
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,636
Take your time, take your time.

429
00:20:18,636 --> 00:20:21,441
♪ Sweaty cheese, sweaty cheese ♪

430
00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:23,245
♪ At the end of the day ♪

431
00:20:23,245 --> 00:20:25,116
♪ You're still cheese ♪

432
00:20:25,116 --> 00:20:28,656
♪ To me. ♪

433
00:20:28,656 --> 00:20:29,859
<i>All right.</i>

434
00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:31,896
♪

435
00:20:37,674 --> 00:20:39,879
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

436
00:20:39,879 --> 00:20:41,883
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

437
00:20:41,883 --> 00:20:43,686
and TOYOTA.

438
00:20:43,686 --> 00:20:45,957
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

439
00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:53,940
KODOS: Another "Treehouse
of Horror" in the books.

440
00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:55,376
Get it?

441
00:20:55,376 --> 00:20:58,282
KANG:
I got what little there was.

442
00:20:58,282 --> 00:20:59,985
(Kang and Kodos shudder)

443
00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:01,689
KODOS:
What the hell? It's us.

444
00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:03,593
That's too freaky.

445
00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:08,035
-(Kang and Kodos screaming)
-(tentacle steps running away)

446
00:21:12,243 --> 00:21:14,481
(spooky theme music playing)

447
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:16,519
♪

448
00:21:29,778 --> 00:21:32,551
-(screaming)
-(organ music playing)