1 00:00:02,047 --> 00:00:04,081 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:33,378 --> 00:00:37,378 ♪ The Simpsons 27x06 ♪ Friend With Benefit Original Air Date on November 8, 2015 3 00:00:37,649 --> 00:00:39,183 Hmm? 4 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:45,707 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 5 00:01:02,741 --> 00:01:04,742 ♪ ♪ 6 00:01:18,023 --> 00:01:20,059 Coming up on Undercover CEO, 7 00:01:20,060 --> 00:01:22,529 Krusty the clown learns what it's like to work for himself. 8 00:01:22,563 --> 00:01:23,997 Pass. 9 00:01:24,031 --> 00:01:26,733 There comes a time in everyone's life 10 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,368 when you need a little extra help 11 00:01:28,402 --> 00:01:30,169 getting up from your chair. 12 00:01:30,204 --> 00:01:32,972 That's why we invented the Seat-to-Feet Lift Chair, 13 00:01:33,007 --> 00:01:35,074 which makes getting up by yourself... 14 00:01:35,109 --> 00:01:35,975 A thing of the past? 15 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,343 ...a thing of the past! 16 00:01:37,378 --> 00:01:38,077 Whoo-hoo! 17 00:01:41,015 --> 00:01:43,349 Wha...? He's... he's up! 18 00:01:43,384 --> 00:01:45,418 He's up. 19 00:01:47,221 --> 00:01:48,655 Eleventy-hundred? 20 00:01:48,689 --> 00:01:50,356 I can't afford that. 21 00:01:50,391 --> 00:01:52,492 But that chair would be a lot better 22 00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:54,427 than the way I get up now. 23 00:01:58,599 --> 00:01:59,566 Come on... 24 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:00,567 Yeah! 25 00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:08,841 Magic Club! 26 00:02:08,876 --> 00:02:10,176 Join the Magic Club! 27 00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,345 Want to cut up a banana without peeling it? 28 00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:13,780 Join and... 29 00:02:13,814 --> 00:02:16,616 I'll tell you how. 30 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:18,885 It's with a needle and thread! 31 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,820 I like magic! 32 00:02:20,854 --> 00:02:22,522 I'm going to take one of your cards. 33 00:02:22,556 --> 00:02:24,857 Or did I take 52? 34 00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,061 Do you want to join? 35 00:02:28,095 --> 00:02:29,429 You could be president! 36 00:02:29,463 --> 00:02:30,430 Just man the booth. 37 00:02:30,464 --> 00:02:31,598 I need to go to the bathroom. 38 00:02:31,632 --> 00:02:33,066 I'd love to join. 39 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,602 Honestly, this is the only booth that doesn't creep me out. 40 00:02:35,636 --> 00:02:37,470 Hug me! Hug me! 41 00:02:38,839 --> 00:02:40,073 Hug me! 42 00:02:40,107 --> 00:02:42,075 I'm Harper. Just moved here. 43 00:02:42,109 --> 00:02:43,509 Trying to make friends. 44 00:02:43,544 --> 00:02:45,111 Lisa. Always been here. 45 00:02:45,145 --> 00:02:46,512 Trying to make friends. 46 00:02:48,048 --> 00:02:50,850 Well, I've got news for all of your clubs: 47 00:02:50,884 --> 00:02:54,654 it's 3:00 p.m., so Willie's turnin' on the sprinklers! 48 00:02:56,724 --> 00:02:58,057 Guys, 49 00:02:58,092 --> 00:02:59,192 I need your advice. 50 00:02:59,226 --> 00:03:01,227 Season three of anything is the best. 51 00:03:01,261 --> 00:03:02,362 Agreed. 52 00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:04,297 But I wanted advice for something else. 53 00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:07,266 It's something I really need for my well-being, 54 00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:09,168 but I just don't have the bucks. 55 00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:11,237 The thing everyone's doing these days, 56 00:03:11,271 --> 00:03:13,306 uh, by which I mean a couple of years ago, 57 00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:15,341 is to get money through crowdfunding. 58 00:03:15,376 --> 00:03:16,509 You thought about that? 59 00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:18,344 Yes, but what is it? 60 00:03:18,379 --> 00:03:20,613 Crowdfunding is when lots of people 61 00:03:20,648 --> 00:03:22,448 give you small amounts of money 62 00:03:22,483 --> 00:03:24,517 to help your passion project come to life. 63 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:27,220 Thanks to crowdfunding, we have Makey Makey computers, 64 00:03:27,254 --> 00:03:28,554 the 3Doodler pen, 65 00:03:28,589 --> 00:03:30,556 and Zach Braff's generation-defining dud 66 00:03:30,591 --> 00:03:31,891 "Wish I Was Here." 67 00:03:31,925 --> 00:03:33,326 Well, if there's anything 68 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,862 that has true wisdom, it's crowds. 69 00:03:39,266 --> 00:03:40,266 Hmm. 70 00:03:41,869 --> 00:03:44,070 Hello, friends. 71 00:03:44,104 --> 00:03:46,606 Are you sick of "Big Charity" asking you for money, 72 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,608 with its free return envelopes 73 00:03:48,642 --> 00:03:50,677 and annoying black tie dinners? 74 00:03:50,711 --> 00:03:52,545 Well, I'm here to ask you 75 00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:54,213 for something different. 76 00:03:54,248 --> 00:03:55,715 Something simple. 77 00:03:55,749 --> 00:03:58,484 You can help a man get back on his feet. 78 00:03:58,519 --> 00:03:59,886 Dad, what are you recording? 79 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,087 Ooh, Lisa. 80 00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:03,122 Turn to camera and quickly say "please give." 81 00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:04,557 Please give. 82 00:04:04,591 --> 00:04:05,792 Give what? 83 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:07,994 Uh, Lisa... eh, well, we'll fix that in post. 84 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:12,765 He didn't even have the money to fix that in post. 85 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,967 That is the saddest thing I've ever seen. 86 00:04:17,538 --> 00:04:19,305 Well, I suppose I could spare a little 87 00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:20,807 for my neighboreeno. 88 00:04:20,841 --> 00:04:22,241 Will you shut up, Flanders?! 89 00:04:23,477 --> 00:04:24,644 Lip zipped. 90 00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:27,013 I don't give handouts 91 00:04:27,047 --> 00:04:28,414 to poor people. 92 00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:31,084 It's not in the spirit of self-made Americanism, 93 00:04:31,118 --> 00:04:35,321 as espoused by Russian weirdo Ayn Rand. 94 00:04:38,192 --> 00:04:39,158 Dang it! 95 00:04:39,193 --> 00:04:40,526 We did it, friends. 96 00:04:40,561 --> 00:04:41,761 Made our goal. 97 00:04:41,795 --> 00:04:43,329 And now, to reveal the miracle 98 00:04:43,363 --> 00:04:45,264 that you all made happen... 99 00:04:47,568 --> 00:04:48,968 That's right. 100 00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:50,570 You bought me this chair. 101 00:04:50,604 --> 00:04:52,405 My ass was just lifted 102 00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:54,440 by a thousand angels. 103 00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:55,808 We bought him a chair? 104 00:04:55,843 --> 00:04:57,710 That lazy lump! 105 00:04:57,745 --> 00:04:59,946 After I finish this beer and have a nap, 106 00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:02,081 I may just call him. 107 00:05:02,116 --> 00:05:04,450 You gave money to this idiot? 108 00:05:04,485 --> 00:05:06,753 It was from my separate bank account. 109 00:05:06,787 --> 00:05:08,121 What separate account? 110 00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:11,357 Uh... I only use it to pay for my separate phone. 111 00:05:11,391 --> 00:05:13,226 You have a separate phone? 112 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,962 Um... um... uh... 113 00:05:15,996 --> 00:05:17,563 Up, down, 114 00:05:17,598 --> 00:05:19,899 up, down. 115 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:21,367 Up, down... 116 00:05:21,401 --> 00:05:23,402 up, down. 117 00:05:23,437 --> 00:05:24,437 Good! 118 00:05:24,471 --> 00:05:25,772 You feel the burning in your core? 119 00:05:25,806 --> 00:05:27,273 Oh, yes, I do. 120 00:05:30,577 --> 00:05:32,311 Mmm. 121 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,314 Homie, answer the door! 122 00:05:35,349 --> 00:05:37,150 For the first time in my life, 123 00:05:37,184 --> 00:05:38,818 I'd be happy to! 124 00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:44,056 Spend my money on a chair, sir? 125 00:05:44,091 --> 00:05:45,391 You're a lazy, bald monster. 126 00:05:45,425 --> 00:05:46,526 Don't be alarmed, there, Homer. 127 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,427 We're just gonna calmly and gently 128 00:05:48,462 --> 00:05:50,029 destroy that chair! 129 00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:51,230 No way. 130 00:05:51,265 --> 00:05:53,232 My chair is now protected by a human shield. 131 00:05:58,105 --> 00:05:59,305 Take that, you idiot! 132 00:06:03,377 --> 00:06:04,477 Lisa... 133 00:06:04,511 --> 00:06:06,512 the crowdfunding video you costarred in 134 00:06:06,547 --> 00:06:08,481 is causing a lot of problems. 135 00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,216 The what-what I what-whatted in? 136 00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:12,485 Burn that chair! 137 00:06:12,519 --> 00:06:14,220 Burn that chair! 138 00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:15,354 Burn that chair! Wait a minute. 139 00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:16,355 That's not the chair. 140 00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,723 What? Oh. Oh. 141 00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,296 No tip! 142 00:06:38,312 --> 00:06:39,612 Guess a guy like me 143 00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:41,747 is never gonna get the finer things in life. 144 00:06:41,782 --> 00:06:43,049 What's the point? 145 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,784 Aw, you poor thing. 146 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:47,286 I've never seen you this unhappy lying down. 147 00:06:47,321 --> 00:06:48,588 Dad? 148 00:06:48,622 --> 00:06:51,490 Can you take me to a concert with my new friend Harper? 149 00:06:51,525 --> 00:06:53,326 Her dad got us the seats. 150 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,927 Sure, why not? 151 00:06:54,962 --> 00:06:57,663 It'll be nosebleed or obstructed view seats. 152 00:06:57,698 --> 00:07:00,132 That's all a self-pitying guy like me ever gets. 153 00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:01,334 Who's the band? 154 00:07:01,368 --> 00:07:03,469 They're an adorable Australian boy band, 155 00:07:03,503 --> 00:07:05,638 and you can't really understand what they're saying. 156 00:07:05,672 --> 00:07:07,506 But who cares? 157 00:07:07,541 --> 00:07:09,008 I understand. 158 00:07:09,042 --> 00:07:11,611 That's how I felt about Crocodile Dundee. 159 00:07:11,645 --> 00:07:13,145 I will never forgive you 160 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,081 for making us see that third movie. 161 00:07:15,115 --> 00:07:17,116 ♪ ♪ 162 00:07:26,493 --> 00:07:28,227 Music in a sports arena. 163 00:07:28,262 --> 00:07:30,696 The acoustics are gonna be a joke. 164 00:07:30,731 --> 00:07:32,531 Two tickets for Homer Simpson. 165 00:07:32,566 --> 00:07:33,766 Here you go... 166 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,203 and here are your platinum V.I.P. wristbands. 167 00:07:37,237 --> 00:07:39,505 What the...? V.I.P.? 168 00:07:39,539 --> 00:07:41,774 Oh, this is never coming off! 169 00:07:41,808 --> 00:07:43,142 Just like the one 170 00:07:43,176 --> 00:07:45,378 from the last great day in my life. 171 00:07:45,412 --> 00:07:47,179 Oh, those muffins. 172 00:07:48,982 --> 00:07:51,350 And it's all thanks to Harper's dad. 173 00:07:51,385 --> 00:07:53,552 Who is this guy? 174 00:07:53,587 --> 00:07:55,755 Mm. 175 00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:57,156 Ooh. 176 00:07:59,092 --> 00:08:00,626 Mi hijo queria ver esto, 177 00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:03,262 pero no puedo arrastrarla a mi show. 178 00:08:03,297 --> 00:08:05,865 Yes, yes, yes. 179 00:08:10,437 --> 00:08:11,404 Whoa! 180 00:08:11,438 --> 00:08:12,672 The only platinum band I have 181 00:08:12,706 --> 00:08:14,874 is the one that's holding my skull together. 182 00:08:14,908 --> 00:08:16,676 Um, through that door. 183 00:08:18,645 --> 00:08:20,246 Remember when we were A-list? 184 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,782 It all went south for me when I got that D.U.I. 185 00:08:22,816 --> 00:08:25,418 and said all those things I secretly believe. 186 00:08:25,452 --> 00:08:27,853 Doe-eyed Boys! 187 00:08:29,623 --> 00:08:30,823 Where? Where? 188 00:08:30,857 --> 00:08:32,525 Maybe one of these four little wimps will tell me. 189 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:33,893 Answer me, wimps! 190 00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:35,027 That's them. 191 00:08:35,062 --> 00:08:36,963 The band. 192 00:08:36,997 --> 00:08:38,364 Hi. I'm Bindi, 193 00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:41,300 and this is Boz, McQuarrie and Wodonga. 194 00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:43,369 Wodonga. 195 00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:44,870 I'm afraid you don't belong here. 196 00:08:44,905 --> 00:08:47,039 Your wristbands are platinum with stripes. 197 00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:48,741 You belong... 198 00:08:48,775 --> 00:08:50,543 in there, braddah! 199 00:08:54,047 --> 00:08:55,781 Oh, my God! 200 00:08:55,816 --> 00:08:56,983 Oh! 201 00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,317 Oh, I wish I could tell you guys 202 00:08:58,352 --> 00:09:00,152 what's in there, but you know... 203 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:02,121 no stripes. 204 00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:05,891 Lisa! You made it! 205 00:09:05,926 --> 00:09:07,927 ♪ ♪ 206 00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:12,932 Homer Simpson? 207 00:09:12,966 --> 00:09:14,133 I'm Harper's dad. 208 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:16,869 And I am so stoked to meet you! 209 00:09:16,903 --> 00:09:19,205 My entire life 210 00:09:19,239 --> 00:09:22,008 has been a journey toward these seats. 211 00:09:22,042 --> 00:09:23,776 Who are you? 212 00:09:26,646 --> 00:09:30,016 Ladies and gentlemen, 213 00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:33,853 please welcome the new owner of the Springfield Arena, 214 00:09:33,887 --> 00:09:38,224 the CEO of J-Cloud Digital Storage Solutions... 215 00:09:38,258 --> 00:09:40,760 Mike Jambowski! 216 00:09:43,497 --> 00:09:44,964 I love this venue! 217 00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:47,767 Ven-ue! Ven-ue! Ven-ue! 218 00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:49,101 Venue... 219 00:09:49,136 --> 00:09:51,137 Venue! 220 00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:53,272 Hey, you want to fire a confetti gun, Homer? 221 00:09:53,306 --> 00:09:56,375 That's the only kind of gun I've never fired. 222 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:59,311 Come on, just point and squeeze. 223 00:10:01,348 --> 00:10:02,882 I know that guy. 224 00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:04,316 Yeah, sure you do, Uncle Lenny. 225 00:10:04,351 --> 00:10:05,551 No, he works at the plant with me. 226 00:10:05,585 --> 00:10:06,819 Homer something. 227 00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:11,436 ♪ When we harmonize ♪ 228 00:10:11,536 --> 00:10:13,170 ♪ And you look in our eyes ♪ 229 00:10:13,204 --> 00:10:15,244 ♪ You'll see it's no surprise ♪ 230 00:10:15,273 --> 00:10:18,308 ♪ That we're your Nobel Prize ♪ 231 00:10:18,343 --> 00:10:20,344 ♪ 'Cause, girl, you know it's true ♪ 232 00:10:20,378 --> 00:10:24,047 ♪ All four of us love you ♪ 233 00:10:25,316 --> 00:10:27,584 ♪ Yeah, we do, yeah, we do, yeah, we do ♪ 234 00:10:27,619 --> 00:10:28,752 ♪ Monday I love you ♪ 235 00:10:28,786 --> 00:10:30,020 ♪ Tuesday I do, too ♪ 236 00:10:30,054 --> 00:10:31,154 ♪ Wednesday that's for me ♪ 237 00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:32,389 ♪ Thursday I love thee ♪ 238 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,292 ♪ Friday is your day... ♪ 239 00:10:35,326 --> 00:10:37,094 Is this heaven? 240 00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:40,297 Not quite, 'cause I hate the music. 241 00:10:40,331 --> 00:10:43,534 Maybe we're not close enough to the band, huh? 242 00:10:43,568 --> 00:10:47,204 ♪ How about we all just... ♪ 243 00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:48,405 Fantastic! 244 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,840 The future of music, man! 245 00:10:49,874 --> 00:10:51,308 Wow! 246 00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:53,076 Hey, Homer, you want to get out of here, get a beer? 247 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,545 ♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪ 248 00:10:54,579 --> 00:10:58,315 ♪ All four of us love you ♪ 249 00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:01,718 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. ♪ 250 00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,091 And now a special guest. 251 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,826 From the Hasbro Channel's hit sitcom 252 00:11:09,861 --> 00:11:12,629 Recycle Michael and the Tin Can Crew, 253 00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:16,466 inoffensive robot superstar, Der Zip Zorp. 254 00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:25,542 Hi, I'm Gus, and I'll be happy to serve you. 255 00:11:25,577 --> 00:11:27,711 A friendly bartender? 256 00:11:27,745 --> 00:11:29,880 This is like being from North Korea 257 00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:32,282 and finding out there's a South Korea. 258 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,352 Homer, a toast to two single dads doing their best. 259 00:11:35,386 --> 00:11:37,387 I'm not a single dad. 260 00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:39,556 Well, this will just be a toast to me, then. 261 00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,559 Ooh, whoa, are you okay? 262 00:11:42,594 --> 00:11:43,760 Be careful. 263 00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:45,095 I love you. 264 00:11:45,129 --> 00:11:46,830 I'm great! 265 00:11:46,864 --> 00:11:48,865 When I'm happy, I make holes. 266 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,602 And when I'm sad, I buy a hockey team. 267 00:11:51,636 --> 00:11:53,337 They cost like nothing, man. 268 00:11:53,371 --> 00:11:55,806 And I made $80 million today. 269 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,075 Bam-bam-bam! 270 00:11:58,109 --> 00:11:59,610 You try. Whoo-hoo! 271 00:11:59,644 --> 00:12:00,677 Bam! 272 00:12:05,817 --> 00:12:08,251 Did I make $80 million? 273 00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:11,355 No, but you made a fool of the doctor who said you'd die. 274 00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:12,856 Well, he still might! 275 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,024 Not today. 276 00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:17,027 Wow, Mike's daughter seems really great. 277 00:12:17,061 --> 00:12:18,295 Yeah, but it was weird. 278 00:12:18,329 --> 00:12:19,863 First she was nice to me, 279 00:12:19,897 --> 00:12:22,966 but then when the band came, she wouldn't let me say a word. 280 00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:26,269 Uh, listen, sweetie. 281 00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:28,271 Let me tell you a fact of life. 282 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:31,742 The world is full of wonderful, priceless experiences, 283 00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:35,479 and I can't give you any of them. 284 00:12:35,513 --> 00:12:37,314 But this girl can. 285 00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:39,650 So it doesn't matter if she talks to you, 286 00:12:39,684 --> 00:12:41,652 looks at you 287 00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:44,154 or is disrespectful to your father. 288 00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:47,958 She is your best friend. 289 00:12:47,992 --> 00:12:50,127 Mm, I don't know. 290 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:55,465 Huh, Harper just invited us to go see David Copperfield. 291 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,000 Oh, my God! 292 00:12:57,035 --> 00:12:59,870 That's something only tourists in Vegas get to do! 293 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,541 Did you ever sit in the back of anything? 294 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,243 Just the space shuttle, man. 295 00:13:06,277 --> 00:13:08,979 My one regret is I was too drunk to drive. 296 00:13:09,013 --> 00:13:11,348 Oh-oh, oh-oh, bam! 297 00:13:11,382 --> 00:13:12,916 Bam on that one. 298 00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:14,685 Okay, ladies, would each of you tell me 299 00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:16,753 your favorite TV show and dessert. 300 00:13:16,788 --> 00:13:18,989 Certainly, my favorites are The Happy Little Elves... 301 00:13:19,023 --> 00:13:20,290 Krusty and cotton candy. 302 00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,826 I was gonna say what my... 303 00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:24,761 Sorry, that's too long without me talking. 304 00:13:27,298 --> 00:13:28,699 So what do I do now?! 305 00:13:28,733 --> 00:13:29,966 Don't worry. Harper? 306 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,002 What's your favorite starving wild animal? 307 00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:34,037 Crocodile? 308 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,442 What's the trick here?! 309 00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:40,977 I'm so happy. 310 00:13:41,012 --> 00:13:43,213 Marge, do you know what it's like 311 00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:46,783 to have a man take care of your every need? 312 00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:49,886 I've thought about it a lot, but no. 313 00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:51,121 How come you're so quiet? 314 00:13:51,155 --> 00:13:52,856 Did he switch your brain with a rabbit's? 315 00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:55,592 'Cause that means somewhere there is one annoying rabbit. 316 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,094 Shut up. 317 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,863 I just keep thinking about the way Harper cut me off. 318 00:13:59,897 --> 00:14:01,598 It's kind of weird. 319 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,167 Yeah, that was kind of weird. 320 00:14:04,202 --> 00:14:05,535 I'd have said something for sure, 321 00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:06,870 but my mouth was full of truffle popcorn. 322 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,974 Mike just invited our family 323 00:14:11,008 --> 00:14:13,944 to spend next week on their private island! 324 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,979 Wow, a whole week. 325 00:14:16,013 --> 00:14:17,514 Too bad the kids have school. 326 00:14:17,548 --> 00:14:19,182 Marge, please. 327 00:14:19,217 --> 00:14:20,717 Lisa's not gonna fall behind 328 00:14:20,752 --> 00:14:22,886 and Bart's not gonna catch up. 329 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,222 We do not want our kids spoiled. 330 00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:27,090 Yeah, okay. 331 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,926 Maybe this is where this thing should stop. 332 00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:38,902 Hello? 333 00:14:38,936 --> 00:14:40,470 This is Principal Seymour Skinner. 334 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,572 We're calling parents, starting with you, 335 00:14:42,607 --> 00:14:45,475 to let them know that school has been canceled next week. 336 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,745 Hmm, did that rich dad buy you off? 337 00:14:50,047 --> 00:14:52,983 Seymour Skinner is not for sale. 338 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,988 The bread is in the oven. 339 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,323 Lisa, Lisa, wait! 340 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,425 I'm so glad you guys are coming with us. 341 00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:03,693 So... 342 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:06,463 I got you a friendship present. 343 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:10,801 A new bike? 344 00:15:10,835 --> 00:15:13,637 Uh, that's so nice of you. 345 00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:16,173 35 gears, Tiffany crystal bell. 346 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,644 And the latest anti-theft device. 347 00:15:20,678 --> 00:15:22,813 You're not Lisa Simpson. 348 00:15:22,847 --> 00:15:24,481 Okay, what's the story? 349 00:15:24,515 --> 00:15:26,049 This we show up for. 350 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,585 Harper, this bike is wonderful. 351 00:15:28,619 --> 00:15:30,253 Too wonderful. 352 00:15:30,288 --> 00:15:33,390 It just wouldn't be right for me to accept it. 353 00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,559 You'd rather have your crappy bike? 354 00:15:35,593 --> 00:15:39,062 Look, Harper, this may be crappy, but it's my bike. 355 00:15:39,096 --> 00:15:41,832 My dad assembled it on Christmas day. 356 00:15:41,866 --> 00:15:44,801 Which is why I have to pedal backwards to go forwards. 357 00:15:44,836 --> 00:15:46,570 But still, I love this! 358 00:15:46,604 --> 00:15:49,105 Uh, I didn't realize getting you the best bike 359 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,641 you ever saw would make you so mad. 360 00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:53,476 I'm not mad, I just think this is... 361 00:15:53,511 --> 00:15:54,678 Just what? 362 00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:56,379 Don't appreciate what I did for you? 363 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,682 Why do you always interrupt me like that? 364 00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:00,517 That's not how friends... Uh, I think I know how friends are. 365 00:16:00,551 --> 00:16:02,185 How would you like it if I interrupted you all the time? 366 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:03,687 I could've been friends with anybody-- 367 00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:04,921 Janey, Sherri, Terri, You wouldn't like it all, would you? 368 00:16:04,956 --> 00:16:06,596 Hubert Wong, Wendy Wang. No, you wouldn't. 369 00:16:06,624 --> 00:16:08,391 Interrupt, interrupt, interrupt, interrupt! That girl with freckles 370 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,226 only on one side of her face. 371 00:16:09,227 --> 00:16:10,490 Could you please, just for once, not interrupt me?! 372 00:16:10,494 --> 00:16:12,362 Whoa, sweet bike. 373 00:16:12,396 --> 00:16:13,864 You can have it! 374 00:16:13,898 --> 00:16:15,298 Even sweeter. 375 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,933 As soon as I put some training wheels on this, 376 00:16:16,968 --> 00:16:20,370 I'll be the coolest kid ever. 377 00:16:20,404 --> 00:16:22,572 Oh! Too fast! 378 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,581 You can put that stuff away, 'cause the trip is off. 379 00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,350 Well, where are we going with Harper? 380 00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:35,252 Nowhere, 'cause we're not friends anymore. 381 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,753 D'oh! 382 00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:49,274 ♪ ♪ 383 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,318 You owe me a Caribbean vacation, Lisa! 384 00:16:51,319 --> 00:16:52,719 St. Croix or better. 385 00:16:52,754 --> 00:16:55,722 Lisa, sweetie, I just want to understand. 386 00:16:55,746 --> 00:16:57,514 You got in a fight with her 387 00:16:57,548 --> 00:17:00,383 because she tried to give you a new bike?! 388 00:17:00,418 --> 00:17:02,152 But she was so condescending! 389 00:17:02,186 --> 00:17:04,621 Yeah, she was "kinda sending" you a new bike. 390 00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,591 Can you all please get out of my room? 391 00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:10,594 ♪ ♪ 392 00:17:10,628 --> 00:17:12,028 Let's not let our little girls' 393 00:17:12,063 --> 00:17:13,663 not liking each other 394 00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:15,632 stand in the way of their being friends. 395 00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:17,133 Come to the island, man. 396 00:17:17,168 --> 00:17:18,535 We have everything there, 397 00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:20,837 except for trunks your size-- ha! 398 00:17:20,872 --> 00:17:22,606 You still want us to come? 399 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,140 Oh, kids fight all the time. 400 00:17:24,175 --> 00:17:26,376 They're not in control of themselves like we are. 401 00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:28,411 Damn, that is a beautiful sunset! 402 00:17:28,446 --> 00:17:30,947 Damn! Damn! Aah! 403 00:17:30,982 --> 00:17:33,016 Whew, now we'll meet you on the island 404 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:36,119 and the only problem will be the sand in our whatevers. 405 00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:41,291 Sweetie, we really appreciate this. 406 00:17:41,325 --> 00:17:43,627 And your brother, well, he's... 407 00:17:43,661 --> 00:17:44,995 Where is your brother? 408 00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:46,263 Hey, a whale. 409 00:17:46,297 --> 00:17:47,497 Oh, it's Homer. 410 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,902 Oh, I'll show you! 411 00:17:51,936 --> 00:17:54,371 Hey, sharks, here's some chum! 412 00:17:58,943 --> 00:18:00,644 Welcome to Jambowski Island. 413 00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,545 Formerly Haiti. 414 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,184 I'm really glad you came, Lisa. 415 00:18:08,219 --> 00:18:09,619 Thanks for having us. 416 00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:12,355 Now, Homer, I got you a special surprise. 417 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,557 A beach lift chair! 418 00:18:14,592 --> 00:18:16,493 The laziest thing there is. 419 00:18:16,527 --> 00:18:17,727 Aw. 420 00:18:35,112 --> 00:18:37,447 ♪ ♪ 421 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,494 Suckers! 422 00:18:58,869 --> 00:19:02,439 ♪ Underneath the mango tree ♪ 423 00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:07,577 ♪ Me honey and me can watch for the moon ♪ 424 00:19:07,611 --> 00:19:10,213 ♪ Underneath the mango tree ♪ 425 00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:14,751 ♪ Me honey and me make boolooloop soon. ♪ 426 00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:17,120 Harper flipped a sea turtle on its back! 427 00:19:17,154 --> 00:19:19,022 My beach, my turtle! 428 00:19:19,056 --> 00:19:20,957 Why is everything yours?! 429 00:19:20,992 --> 00:19:24,027 Oh, why do you kids have to argue all the time? 430 00:19:24,061 --> 00:19:26,096 'Cause she wants things her way 431 00:19:26,130 --> 00:19:28,164 instead of the right way. 432 00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:31,334 Homer, help me out here. 433 00:19:31,369 --> 00:19:32,969 No, no, with the girls. 434 00:19:33,004 --> 00:19:35,438 Just tell your kid to let my kid have her way this time. 435 00:19:35,473 --> 00:19:37,474 And every other time. 436 00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:39,042 Dad... 437 00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:41,711 I think you have a choice to make here. 438 00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:52,722 It's time I stood up for myself. 439 00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:57,927 Harper, I know I shouldn't say this on your private island, 440 00:19:57,962 --> 00:20:00,263 but you're kind of spoiled. 441 00:20:01,132 --> 00:20:02,298 That's right. 442 00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,000 You don't deserve Lisa. 443 00:20:04,035 --> 00:20:06,102 There's nothing I love more than her. 444 00:20:06,137 --> 00:20:08,471 She's the sun, the moon and the other thing to me. 445 00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:10,407 Thank you. 446 00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:12,108 And we don't have to be on the same island 447 00:20:12,143 --> 00:20:13,977 with people who push my little girl around. 448 00:20:14,011 --> 00:20:15,178 Let's go, Marge. 449 00:20:15,212 --> 00:20:17,580 Now? I just got up. 450 00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:18,748 Now, please! 451 00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:20,050 If you leave this island, 452 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:21,351 you're not taking the yacht. 453 00:20:21,385 --> 00:20:22,419 Oh, no. 454 00:20:22,453 --> 00:20:24,287 You're taking a limo to the private jet, 455 00:20:24,321 --> 00:20:26,322 which is flying you straight home. 456 00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:29,292 Then so be it. Hmph. 457 00:20:35,966 --> 00:20:37,767 I know how you feel, buddy. 458 00:20:40,315 --> 00:20:42,733 Oh, I better sit down. Where can I sit? 459 00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:45,752 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 460 00:20:45,753 --> 00:20:48,587 Dad, what you said was really nice. 461 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,391 And believe me, we're much better off, off that island. 462 00:20:52,426 --> 00:20:54,526 I know. 463 00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:56,528 Good-bye, crystal-clear lagoon. 464 00:20:56,563 --> 00:20:59,464 Good riddance, pink sand beach. 465 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,766 Good-bye, swim-up movie theater 466 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:04,669 that was going to show Back to the Future. 467 00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:06,471 Good-bye, sweet liquors 468 00:21:06,507 --> 00:21:09,274 that didn't let Marge know I was drunk. 469 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,442 Good-bye, snorkeling 470 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,277 and Jet-Skiing 471 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:15,447 and other things I never tried. 472 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,982 Good-bye, obese natives 473 00:21:17,017 --> 00:21:19,217 that made me feel fit. 474 00:21:19,253 --> 00:21:21,853 Good-bye, Bart. Bart?! 475 00:21:25,068 --> 00:21:27,001 Shh!