1 00:00:00,191 --> 00:00:05,191 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:08,551 [SCHOOL BELL RINGING] 3 00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,287 Okay, children, everyone pick an instrument. 4 00:00:11,322 --> 00:00:12,455 Doesn't matter which one. 5 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:13,556 Everyone's gonna be bad. 6 00:00:13,591 --> 00:00:16,759 - [CHATTERING] - Eh, who cares? I'm union. 7 00:00:16,795 --> 00:00:19,896 I told you, I am not playing an instrument. 8 00:00:19,931 --> 00:00:22,198 You're playing an instrument. 9 00:00:22,233 --> 00:00:24,500 Mom, music is made by computers, 10 00:00:24,536 --> 00:00:28,204 not rusty metal you put in your... ugh... mouth. 11 00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:31,207 Look, your mom thinks that forcing you to do music 12 00:00:31,242 --> 00:00:33,409 in school will somehow make you into a different person 13 00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:36,078 than we all know you are... which it won't... so just do it, 14 00:00:36,114 --> 00:00:38,047 or I'll cut all your shorts into skirts. 15 00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:39,248 Fine. 16 00:00:39,284 --> 00:00:41,250 What about this stupid thing? 17 00:00:43,388 --> 00:00:45,388 - [BLOWING NOTES] - [KIDS GRUNTING] 18 00:00:48,793 --> 00:00:50,259 [GASPS] 19 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,028 Why don't you try this clarinet? 20 00:00:52,063 --> 00:00:54,697 It's like the recorder, but cooler. 21 00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:55,798 [GROANS] 22 00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:58,301 [UPBEAT MARCH PLAYING] 23 00:00:58,336 --> 00:00:59,669 [YELLING] 24 00:01:01,339 --> 00:01:03,739 What about this hobo guitar? 25 00:01:04,809 --> 00:01:06,809 [LIGHT CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING] 26 00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:10,213 - [PEOPLE SCREAMING] - [LAUGHS] 27 00:01:10,248 --> 00:01:12,748 At least he was wearing a tuxedo. 28 00:01:12,784 --> 00:01:14,383 Now can we get out of here? 29 00:01:14,419 --> 00:01:16,485 The Wi-Fi sucks, and I'm trying to click through 30 00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:19,322 this slideshow of celebrities who let themselves go. 31 00:01:19,357 --> 00:01:22,325 Word is that number four is insane. 32 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,227 And here's the form which says 33 00:01:24,262 --> 00:01:26,262 you're responsible for the instrument. 34 00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:32,602 So, if I break the violin, Homer has to pay? 35 00:01:32,637 --> 00:01:34,570 Homer has to pay? 36 00:01:34,606 --> 00:01:36,639 The school is lending your son an instrument 37 00:01:36,674 --> 00:01:39,041 that's worth $430. 38 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:41,244 [GASPS] 39 00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:42,912 [SHRIEKING MELODICALLY] 40 00:01:42,947 --> 00:01:48,117 Violin, you and me are gonna make beautiful music together. 41 00:01:48,152 --> 00:01:50,152 [SYMPHONY NO. 5 BY BEETHOVEN PLAYING] 42 00:02:12,510 --> 00:02:15,144 Bart? Bart? 43 00:02:15,179 --> 00:02:17,546 $430 violin? 44 00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:23,753 If the beer's in a frosted mug, you're not an alcoholic, 45 00:02:23,788 --> 00:02:25,988 you're an aficionado. 46 00:02:26,024 --> 00:02:28,291 - [SHRIEKS] - Hello, Father. 47 00:02:28,326 --> 00:02:30,226 Thank you for taking responsibility 48 00:02:30,261 --> 00:02:32,395 for this lovely instrument. 49 00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:34,330 I trust you find its music... 50 00:02:34,365 --> 00:02:36,933 - [PLAYS SCREECHING NOTE] - soothing. 51 00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,968 Come on, dude, just leave me alone. 52 00:02:39,003 --> 00:02:41,804 I'm a good man. I've got kids! 53 00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,673 You're right, I've been too hard on you. 54 00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:45,474 Here you go. Catch. 55 00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,310 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:50,748 --> 00:02:52,748 ♪ ♪ 57 00:02:55,286 --> 00:02:56,919 [LAUGHS] 58 00:02:56,955 --> 00:02:59,922 You. You. I took you into my home, 59 00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,791 and you've stolen everything from me. 60 00:03:01,826 --> 00:03:03,426 You know what this is? 61 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:06,295 It's me playing the world's smallest violin. 62 00:03:06,331 --> 00:03:07,530 [LAUGHS] 63 00:03:07,565 --> 00:03:08,565 [YELLS] 64 00:03:11,269 --> 00:03:12,835 [PANTING] 65 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,570 I'm free. I'm free. 66 00:03:14,605 --> 00:03:16,205 I'm finally free! 67 00:03:18,576 --> 00:03:20,576 Mwah! 68 00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,411 [GASPS] Where are you going? 69 00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:27,116 To do to my brain what I just did to your dreams for our son. 70 00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,720 LENNY, CARL AND BARNEY: Chug, chug, chug! 71 00:03:30,755 --> 00:03:32,722 Chug, chug, chug! 72 00:03:32,757 --> 00:03:34,123 [TRAIN CHUGGING] 73 00:03:34,158 --> 00:03:36,325 - [WHISTLE TOOTS] - [CHUCKLES] 74 00:03:36,361 --> 00:03:40,396 The little engine that could... get me wasted. 75 00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:43,165 Yeah, everyone loves the ol' Disorient Express. 76 00:03:43,201 --> 00:03:45,101 - [WHISTLE TOOTS] - [PHONE RINGING] 77 00:03:45,136 --> 00:03:46,802 Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking. 78 00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:49,105 What? You have the nerve to call me? 79 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:51,240 Why don't you delete my number from your phone, 80 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:52,875 then put the phone in a sock, 81 00:03:52,910 --> 00:03:54,477 and then beat yourself in the head 82 00:03:54,512 --> 00:03:58,147 till your face looks like motor lodge buffet eggs! 83 00:03:58,182 --> 00:04:00,149 [CHUCKLES] Yeah, another prank call, huh? 84 00:04:00,184 --> 00:04:02,985 Who was it this time, uh, "Anita Manbone"? 85 00:04:03,021 --> 00:04:04,453 "Ivan Talickya"? 86 00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:06,188 Ooh, ooh, I got one. 87 00:04:06,224 --> 00:04:08,290 "John Rootbeer." 88 00:04:09,827 --> 00:04:11,127 Eh, it wasn't no prankster. 89 00:04:11,162 --> 00:04:13,262 It was someone I know all too well. 90 00:04:13,297 --> 00:04:15,631 - Oh, who? - Shut your stinkin' face-hole! 91 00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:17,867 That's who it was, okay?! Bar's closed! 92 00:04:17,902 --> 00:04:20,236 Everybody get out! Get out! 93 00:04:22,373 --> 00:04:23,539 [GROANS] 94 00:04:23,574 --> 00:04:25,107 [BLOWS] 95 00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:26,113 [BUZZES] 96 00:04:26,144 --> 00:04:29,111 Oh, stupid drunk breath. 97 00:04:29,147 --> 00:04:30,379 Ah. 98 00:04:30,415 --> 00:04:32,281 - [BLOWS] - [BUZZES] 99 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,883 Oh, stupid drunk dog! 100 00:04:33,918 --> 00:04:37,286 [BARKING] 101 00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:40,423 Guess I'll have to order a ride on my smartphone. 102 00:04:42,660 --> 00:04:44,026 Get in. 103 00:04:44,062 --> 00:04:45,628 [CAR DOOR CLOSES] 104 00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:48,364 No mints? I should've just called Uber. 105 00:04:49,567 --> 00:04:51,634 Hey. What's with Moe? 106 00:04:51,669 --> 00:04:53,302 It's too late for the cockfights 107 00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:55,037 and too early for the rat fights. 108 00:04:55,073 --> 00:04:57,740 He's been extra psycho since he got that phone call. 109 00:04:57,775 --> 00:05:01,177 [MUTTERING]: I just want to... [GRUNTING, SHOUTING] 110 00:05:01,212 --> 00:05:03,546 Oh, it sounds like that time you lit the barbecue 111 00:05:03,581 --> 00:05:05,014 with a possum inside. 112 00:05:05,049 --> 00:05:06,315 [MOE PANTING] 113 00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,150 Hmm, maybe we should follow him. 114 00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:09,785 Mm, you're the sober one. 115 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:13,089 Call me, will you? Oh, I'll meet you, all right. 116 00:05:13,124 --> 00:05:14,690 I'll meet you good. 117 00:05:14,725 --> 00:05:18,094 [MOE MUTTERING] 118 00:05:18,129 --> 00:05:20,129 [GRUNTING, SHOUTING] 119 00:05:24,836 --> 00:05:27,203 [SHOUTING] 120 00:05:27,238 --> 00:05:28,737 - I'll kill you. - [CHOKING] 121 00:05:28,773 --> 00:05:30,106 I'll kill you, you dirty mug! 122 00:05:30,141 --> 00:05:31,907 You've got to stop them. 123 00:05:34,445 --> 00:05:35,945 Let me go, huh? 124 00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:37,513 I'm one loafer smack away 125 00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:39,482 from tearing off his whole hair system! 126 00:05:39,517 --> 00:05:42,017 Why are you fighting with an old man? 127 00:05:42,053 --> 00:05:44,753 Because this old man... [PANTING] 128 00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:46,589 Is my old man. 129 00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:49,125 Morty Szyslak. Nice to meet you. 130 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,360 You mean nothing to me. Huh? 131 00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:54,697 All you are is a rotten old rib roast covered in cologne. 132 00:05:54,732 --> 00:05:56,465 You ungrateful punk. 133 00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:59,368 You're not worthy to walk through a cloud of my scent. 134 00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:01,036 I never should've called you. 135 00:06:01,072 --> 00:06:03,005 On that we agree. 136 00:06:04,442 --> 00:06:09,178 The saddest thing in the world is seeing a family broken apart. 137 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:11,881 - [DRUNKEN GROWLING] - [CHUCKLES] 138 00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,482 Drunk dog. 139 00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:21,103 Oh, I ain't seen my pops for years. 140 00:06:21,138 --> 00:06:23,706 After he called, I weakened and went to meet him. 141 00:06:23,741 --> 00:06:25,941 But one sniff of "Eau de Sportcoat," 142 00:06:25,977 --> 00:06:28,277 and my shoe was in my hand. 143 00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:31,847 How could you go so long without seeing your own father? 144 00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:34,783 Seriously, how'd you do it? It sounds amazing. 145 00:06:34,819 --> 00:06:36,218 Yeah, well, let me explain. 146 00:06:36,254 --> 00:06:39,054 You know how the world sees me as a... a... 147 00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,123 - Human toilet brush? - Bingo. 148 00:06:41,158 --> 00:06:43,759 Well, I'm the white sheep of my family. 149 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,295 They're involved in a very evil business. 150 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:48,530 - Illegal drugs? - No, worse. 151 00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:51,634 - Prescription drugs? - Oh, well, not that bad. 152 00:06:51,669 --> 00:06:55,337 The Szyslaks are... mattress salesmen. 153 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,406 - [BOTH GASP] - Eh, I know, I know. 154 00:06:57,441 --> 00:06:59,975 They're like mortgage brokers without the moral code. 155 00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:01,977 Charging people 1,200 bucks 156 00:07:02,013 --> 00:07:04,413 for what's essentially a big bag of hay. 157 00:07:06,851 --> 00:07:08,417 [HUMMING] 158 00:07:10,421 --> 00:07:13,989 Growing up, it was me, my dad and my brother and sister. 159 00:07:14,025 --> 00:07:16,058 We were the biggest mattress chain in town, 160 00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:19,061 mainly thanks to our local TV ads. 161 00:07:19,096 --> 00:07:21,096 [GRUNTS] How does it...? 162 00:07:21,132 --> 00:07:22,298 There it is. 163 00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,067 [FANFARE PLAYING] 164 00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:27,069 Here ye, hear ye! 165 00:07:27,104 --> 00:07:30,072 I declare the best deals in all the land! 166 00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:32,775 AND DON'T YE FORGET: No credit... 167 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:34,543 No problem! 168 00:07:34,578 --> 00:07:36,278 So come on down to Mattress King, 169 00:07:36,314 --> 00:07:38,981 at any one of our many convenient locations. 170 00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:42,685 We'll have you sleeping on a new mattress 171 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,787 - to... - Knight! 172 00:07:44,822 --> 00:07:47,056 - And cut. - Great work, kids. 173 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:49,058 Everyone gets an onion. 174 00:07:51,062 --> 00:07:53,796 MOE: But there was another reason for our success, 175 00:07:53,831 --> 00:07:55,397 as I was about to learn. 176 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,701 Son, your voice is finally gravelly enough 177 00:07:58,736 --> 00:08:02,538 for you to learn what it takes to survive in the sleep biz. 178 00:08:02,573 --> 00:08:04,206 Bedbugs?! 179 00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:06,642 These are Hungarian mattress gnashers. 180 00:08:06,677 --> 00:08:08,544 The only way to get rid of them 181 00:08:08,579 --> 00:08:11,613 is to walk away from your house naked and start a new life. 182 00:08:11,649 --> 00:08:12,848 [CHUCKLES] 183 00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:17,619 Y-You're gonna sabotage our rivals? 184 00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:20,122 No, no, no, no, no, no. You are. 185 00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:23,659 You want to be a sandman, a slumber jack, a yawn jockey? 186 00:08:23,694 --> 00:08:27,262 This is what it takes. It's the Szyslak way. 187 00:08:39,877 --> 00:08:42,010 MOE: They were the competition, sure, 188 00:08:42,046 --> 00:08:43,746 but they were a family, too. 189 00:08:43,781 --> 00:08:46,148 I couldn't ruin them. 190 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,153 You should be proud. You did a good deed. 191 00:08:51,188 --> 00:08:54,823 Yeah, well, that good deed ruin't my life. 192 00:08:54,859 --> 00:08:57,292 That family I took pity on, 193 00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,095 they doused our mattresses with bedbugs. 194 00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:02,865 The Szyslak empire was ruin't. 195 00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:05,100 Soon, we were down to just a few locations. 196 00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:07,703 My pops never said how disappointed he was, 197 00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:09,738 but he let me know in his own way, 198 00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:11,740 by kicking me out and turning my room 199 00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:14,543 into a home gym he never used. 200 00:09:14,578 --> 00:09:17,179 My brother and sister took my place in my father's heart. 201 00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:20,482 The only connection I had with Pops was Linkedln. 202 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,484 [GASPS] That's worse than nothing. 203 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,620 Why do you think your dad reached around to you 204 00:09:24,655 --> 00:09:26,288 after all these years? 205 00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,857 I don't care. I don't care so much! 206 00:09:28,893 --> 00:09:30,726 Moe, you will never have peace 207 00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,828 until you make up with your father. 208 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,930 HONEY, I NEED YOU TO HEAR THIS: 209 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:39,234 Sticking your nose in Moe's horrible life will end badly. 210 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,904 Homer, what's your favorite movie? 211 00:09:41,939 --> 00:09:43,405 Fast & Furious 6. 212 00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,340 And what's the theme of that movie? 213 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,742 Cars. 214 00:09:46,777 --> 00:09:48,377 What's the other theme? 215 00:09:48,412 --> 00:09:50,512 [GASPS] Family. 216 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,014 She's right, Moe. 217 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,750 You got to give your cars a second chance. 218 00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,573 BART AND LISA: Is that your family's mattress store? 219 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,924 - MOE: No. - Is that your family's mattress store? 220 00:10:01,959 --> 00:10:03,425 - No. - Is that your family's mattress store? 221 00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:04,560 No! 222 00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:05,894 Geez, I never noticed 223 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,863 how many mattress stores there are. 224 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,332 Yeah, you never do till you're shopping for one. 225 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,401 Then they're freakin' everywhere. 226 00:10:14,638 --> 00:10:17,773 That mattress looked perfectly fine when it was delivered. 227 00:10:17,808 --> 00:10:20,709 It's not my fault you flipped it over! 228 00:10:20,744 --> 00:10:22,711 Mr. Szyslak, I've brought someone here 229 00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:25,080 who still cares for you. 230 00:10:25,115 --> 00:10:27,216 Um, hey there, Pops. 231 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:31,253 I'm, uh, I'm sorry about shoe-slapping your face and all. 232 00:10:31,288 --> 00:10:34,022 Well, maybe I had it coming. 233 00:10:34,058 --> 00:10:35,624 You hittin' that? 234 00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:38,927 - Can I, uh, say I am? - Mm-mm. 235 00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:43,131 That must be Moe's brother and sister. 236 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:46,768 They don't look ugly like Moe, but I'm still feeling the ugly. 237 00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:50,539 Ugh. That one's eating Chinese food with scissors. 238 00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:52,941 [LISA, HOMER AND BART SHUDDER] 239 00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,111 Hey, what's Ugly Do-Right doing here? 240 00:10:56,146 --> 00:10:57,913 He ain't no mattress man. 241 00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:01,884 I will never forgive you for what you made Dad did to you. 242 00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:04,953 Oh, so we're doing the "what I done made Dad did" thing? 243 00:11:04,989 --> 00:11:06,989 Because I can did this all day long! 244 00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:08,624 Shut up, you box springs! 245 00:11:08,659 --> 00:11:12,327 I'm the one what reached around to this cesspool of disappointment. 246 00:11:12,363 --> 00:11:15,867 - You know, to make amends. - Amends?! 247 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,499 - Amends?! - Amends?! 248 00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:20,536 There's no reason for this to come to shoes! 249 00:11:20,571 --> 00:11:23,005 I want you all to come to our house 250 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,840 for a family forgiveness dinner. 251 00:11:24,875 --> 00:11:26,275 We'll be there. 252 00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,076 Can I bring a bottle of something? 253 00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:29,745 That would be lovely. 254 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,014 You want oxy or Demerol? 255 00:11:32,049 --> 00:11:33,315 MARGE: Okay, the brother here, 256 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:35,317 the father there, Moe here... 257 00:11:35,352 --> 00:11:36,919 No. No good. 258 00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:38,921 You know, when this all ends horribly, 259 00:11:38,956 --> 00:11:41,924 it's gonna be pretty hard not to say "I told you so." 260 00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:43,358 Just don't say it. 261 00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:45,460 You've never been married, have you, Lisa? 262 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,195 When you love someone very much, 263 00:11:47,231 --> 00:11:50,032 the toughest thing is not to rub their face 264 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,868 in their horrible screw-ups. 265 00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:57,139 [MARGE GROANING WORRIEDLY] 266 00:11:57,174 --> 00:12:00,642 So, okay, here's a fun game. 267 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,878 Everyone take turns saying something nice 268 00:12:02,913 --> 00:12:05,380 about a person they're related to. 269 00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:08,684 I'll start. Lisa has lovely penmanship. 270 00:12:08,719 --> 00:12:10,819 Thank you, Mom. 271 00:12:10,854 --> 00:12:13,755 Me? Uh, well, it's... 272 00:12:13,791 --> 00:12:17,793 admirable how my stupid father reached around to this traitor! 273 00:12:17,828 --> 00:12:19,795 I'm impressed that you better shut up 274 00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,663 and make nice with the traitor! 275 00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:26,301 I like that Bart... 276 00:12:26,337 --> 00:12:30,572 uh... Bart is... he, uh... 277 00:12:30,608 --> 00:12:33,352 - Can I do two Lisas? - Dinner fight! 278 00:12:33,377 --> 00:12:35,410 Yeah, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Huh? 279 00:12:36,447 --> 00:12:38,347 Homer! Go to phase two. 280 00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:43,719 'Twas the sale before Christmas, and all through the store! 281 00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:48,090 All the deals were amazing on twin sets and more! 282 00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,560 [TO "SILENT NIGHT"]: ♪ Mattress night ♪ 283 00:12:51,595 --> 00:12:55,030 ♪ Low, low price ♪ 284 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:58,800 ♪ No payments due, but... ♪ 285 00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,902 Am I the only one feeling all oniony 286 00:13:00,938 --> 00:13:02,904 about the way things used to be? 287 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,107 We were dressed as stinkin' reindeer, 288 00:13:05,142 --> 00:13:07,342 but we were really a stinkin' family. 289 00:13:07,378 --> 00:13:09,611 Oh, I miss you frigs. 290 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,947 MOE/MARV/MINNIE: Aw... 291 00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:14,683 Marge, thank you for reaching around to my family. 292 00:13:14,718 --> 00:13:17,519 I got something to tell all of youse. 293 00:13:17,554 --> 00:13:20,455 - I'm retiring. - [ALL GASP] 294 00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,892 Sleepy is the head that wears the mattress crown. 295 00:13:23,927 --> 00:13:26,928 That's right, my springs have sprung. 296 00:13:26,964 --> 00:13:29,631 - To my son, I give a store. - [GASPS] 297 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,901 - To my daughter, I give a store. - Aw. 298 00:13:32,936 --> 00:13:34,636 Well, good dinner, everyone. 299 00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:37,406 I'll see youse at the funeral of whoever dies first. 300 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,075 And to my oldest son, I give a store. 301 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,209 [GASPS] 302 00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:44,246 Wha...? I buried this dream so deep, 303 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,683 no amount of self-harm could ever carve it out. 304 00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:51,753 Aw. 305 00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:53,955 [INHALES DEEPLY] 306 00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:56,992 Oh, the smell of foam off-gassing. 307 00:13:57,027 --> 00:14:00,362 When I cross this threshold, I begin a new life! 308 00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,331 This is the first time 309 00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:05,834 that I've ever been carried into a store. 310 00:14:05,869 --> 00:14:08,336 Look at me now, Lady Foot Locker! 311 00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,871 Look at me now. 312 00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:15,730 Hey, everyone. Hey, thanks for coming out. 313 00:14:15,765 --> 00:14:17,832 Uh, if anybody wants a glass of wine, 314 00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,767 they're on the memory foam. 315 00:14:19,802 --> 00:14:23,004 - [AMAZED GASPS] - CLETUS: Oh! Hot dang. My goodness. 316 00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:25,306 Okay, okay, all right, shut your, shut your faces. 317 00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:28,743 Uh, the commercial that me and my brother and sister all made 318 00:14:28,778 --> 00:14:30,778 is about to air now. 319 00:14:30,813 --> 00:14:32,513 - I cannot tell a lie. - ["YANKEE DOODLE" PLAYING] 320 00:14:32,548 --> 00:14:35,116 It's good to be back in the mattress biz. 321 00:14:35,151 --> 00:14:37,985 Sleep softly and carry a big discount! 322 00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,588 And now we're freeing the savings! 323 00:14:40,623 --> 00:14:44,291 So rush-more to Mattress King Slumber Super Stores, 324 00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:48,062 as we all welcome our big brother Moe back to the family! 325 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:49,997 MINNIE: And remember, 326 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,432 at Moe's location, 327 00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:54,669 every mattress had someone die on it. 328 00:14:54,704 --> 00:14:56,137 [PEOPLE GASPING, MURMURING] 329 00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:59,240 - [PEOPLE GROANING] - Dead-o's on my mattresses? 330 00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:01,676 Hey, hey, somebody messed with our commercial. 331 00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:04,011 MARV: Who died on Moe's mattresses? 332 00:15:04,047 --> 00:15:06,013 - Shut-ins. Fat people. - [PEOPLE GASPING] 333 00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:09,183 MARV AND MINNIE: And inmates! Inmates! Inmates! 334 00:15:09,218 --> 00:15:10,885 No, no, it's all lies! Come back! 335 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,520 My mattresses are brand-new! 336 00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:14,522 Made in the finest Filipino sweatshops 337 00:15:14,557 --> 00:15:16,857 by the cutest kids you ever saw! 338 00:15:16,893 --> 00:15:18,959 - That's a gross a-mattress! - [CLAMORING] 339 00:15:18,995 --> 00:15:22,363 They betrayed me. Stabbed me right in the hump. 340 00:15:22,398 --> 00:15:23,964 Sorry, big brother. [CHUCKLES] 341 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,934 We saw an opportunity to knock you out of the family business, 342 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,335 and we took it. 343 00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:30,004 It's the Szyslak way. 344 00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,006 [LAUGHING] 345 00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,308 But I-I brought them together. 346 00:15:34,343 --> 00:15:36,310 How could things end so badly? 347 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,179 HOMER: Don't say "I told you so." 348 00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,680 HOMER: Don't say "I told you so." Don't say "I told you so." 349 00:15:39,716 --> 00:15:41,982 Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved. 350 00:15:42,018 --> 00:15:44,318 HOMER: Don't say "I told you so." Don't say "I told you so." 351 00:15:44,353 --> 00:15:45,986 Why didn't somebody warn me? 352 00:15:46,022 --> 00:15:47,822 HOMER: Don't say "I told you so." 353 00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:50,291 I told... [CHOKING] 354 00:15:55,398 --> 00:15:58,699 [MATTRESS HISSING] 355 00:15:58,735 --> 00:16:01,535 When my pop finds out I got played for a chump, huh, 356 00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:04,705 he'll wish he never reached around to me in the first place. 357 00:16:04,741 --> 00:16:06,674 Moe, I'm so sorry. 358 00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,009 For the first time, I'm going to offer you 359 00:16:09,045 --> 00:16:10,945 platonic physical comfort. 360 00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:14,281 - [MOE GRUNTING EXCITEDLY] - [MARGE GROANING] 361 00:16:14,317 --> 00:16:16,617 I just can't go through with it. 362 00:16:16,652 --> 00:16:19,153 Aw, it's all right. You got closer than most. 363 00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,822 But I have to believe it's not too late 364 00:16:21,858 --> 00:16:24,892 to reach around and fix things with your family. 365 00:16:24,927 --> 00:16:27,828 No, no, no. I tried things the Marge way. 366 00:16:27,864 --> 00:16:31,098 Now I'm gonna do this the Szyslak way. 367 00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,867 No. No! 368 00:16:32,902 --> 00:16:35,102 That's right, me and my family, 369 00:16:35,138 --> 00:16:37,605 we're going to the mattresses, baby! 370 00:16:39,342 --> 00:16:41,509 I better go with him. 371 00:16:41,544 --> 00:16:43,744 To make sure I see it. 372 00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:46,247 ♪ ♪ 373 00:16:46,282 --> 00:16:47,948 [POP, AIR HISSING] 374 00:17:13,176 --> 00:17:15,609 - [MARGE GROANING WORRIEDLY] - [MOE AND HOMER PANTING] 375 00:17:15,645 --> 00:17:17,611 [GASPS] Oh, my God. What happened? 376 00:17:17,647 --> 00:17:19,947 We cut 'em up good. [CHUCKLES] 377 00:17:19,982 --> 00:17:22,416 They ain't so pretty no more! 378 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:23,472 - [MOE CHUCKLES] 379 00:17:23,497 --> 00:17:27,421 - [MARGE SCREAMS] - All this was just revenge appetizers! 380 00:17:27,456 --> 00:17:29,924 Tonight is the main course. 381 00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,359 And I'm serving it up family style. 382 00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:33,994 [MANIACAL LAUGHING] 383 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:36,730 There's only one man who can stop this. 384 00:17:39,135 --> 00:17:42,102 Sir, this shirt depicts an octopus sportfishing 385 00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,938 and drinking a mai tai. 386 00:17:43,973 --> 00:17:47,441 It's the bestseller in our Retired Blowhard collection. 387 00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:48,742 Oh, yeah. 388 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,812 I can see myself watching golf in this. 389 00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:54,481 Mr. Szyslak Sr., you've got to do something! 390 00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:57,284 Your children are tearing each other apart! 391 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,486 No, no. I'm retired now. 392 00:17:59,522 --> 00:18:01,822 Let them work out their own little tiffs. 393 00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:04,091 Does this look like a tiff? 394 00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:07,895 Free mattresses?! 395 00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:10,564 The time for leisure wear is over. 396 00:18:13,436 --> 00:18:15,402 Mahalo, sir. 397 00:18:15,438 --> 00:18:18,239 Moe's in there, and I've never seen him this angry before, 398 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,675 not even when he lost that angriest man contest. 399 00:18:21,711 --> 00:18:23,677 He's crazy! He's gonna do it! 400 00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:25,713 He's really gonna do it! 401 00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,083 I'm up here, Pops. 402 00:18:29,118 --> 00:18:31,552 I'm playing with my little brother and sister. 403 00:18:31,587 --> 00:18:33,254 Just like old times. 404 00:18:33,289 --> 00:18:35,789 [MANIACAL LAUGHING] 405 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:40,394 [GASPS] Hungarian mattress gnashers! 406 00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:45,266 If he releases those bugs, all our mattresses are ruined! 407 00:18:45,301 --> 00:18:50,104 Not mine. My mattresses are safe and sound. 408 00:18:50,139 --> 00:18:52,273 - [BARNEY BURPS] - [DOG BURPS] 409 00:18:52,308 --> 00:18:54,708 All my enemies... gnashed! 410 00:18:54,744 --> 00:18:57,011 It's the Szyslak way! 411 00:18:57,046 --> 00:18:59,513 [GASPS] Morty! Do something! 412 00:18:59,548 --> 00:19:02,616 [MANIACAL LAUGHING] 413 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:07,087 Do it! Smash that jar! 414 00:19:07,123 --> 00:19:09,523 Take what's rightfully yours! 415 00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:12,192 - Wait, what? - You wanted him to dooze this? 416 00:19:12,228 --> 00:19:14,628 He's finally man enough to finish the job, 417 00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:17,097 just like he should've all those years ago. 418 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,599 Do it, son! 419 00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:20,567 Everything will be yours! 420 00:19:20,603 --> 00:19:22,870 Do it for your king! 421 00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:25,606 [DRONING]: Do it for your king. 422 00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:32,646 ♪ ♪ 423 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:45,626 I can't do it. 424 00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:47,061 ALL: Wha...?! 425 00:19:47,096 --> 00:19:48,395 Sorry, Pops. 426 00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:51,198 I guess I'll never live the Szyslak way. 427 00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:55,336 Oh, Moe, you're a good man. 428 00:19:55,371 --> 00:19:58,806 And these soulless mattress jackals don't deserve you. 429 00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:00,808 I never thought I'd say this, 430 00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:04,545 but some families just don't belong together. 431 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,047 - [ALL GRUNTING] - Yeah, yeah, I'll kill ya! 432 00:20:08,684 --> 00:20:11,018 Ph-Physical contact. 433 00:20:18,894 --> 00:20:20,894 [ALL SCREAMING, GRUNTING] 434 00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:31,205 HOMER: I told you so! 435 00:20:42,745 --> 00:20:44,945 Hey, this is Moe S. From the Mattress King. 436 00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:47,681 Give me a call at 555-0146. 437 00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:49,449 For a limited time only, 438 00:20:49,485 --> 00:20:52,753 the Mattress King's got queen mattress sets for $99 439 00:20:52,788 --> 00:20:55,222 and king sets for $129. 440 00:20:57,126 --> 00:20:58,959 HOMER: Ooh! Are you okay? 441 00:20:58,994 --> 00:21:02,029 Oh, yeah. I'm fine. 442 00:21:02,064 --> 00:21:03,864 That's what I was afraid was gonna... [GRUNTS] 443 00:21:03,899 --> 00:21:05,532 That's what I was afraid was gonna happen 444 00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:07,434 - with that damn thing. - You all right? 445 00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:08,935 - Oh, I'm fine. - You sure? 446 00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,937 Messed up my guitar, though. No, I'm fine. 447 00:21:10,973 --> 00:21:12,439 - You sure you're, uh... - No, I'm fine. 448 00:21:12,474 --> 00:21:13,774 Try your arm and stuff. 449 00:21:13,809 --> 00:21:15,475 - He's wearing leather. - Oh, okay. 450 00:21:15,511 --> 00:21:17,344 - Did you get it on film? - Yeah. 451 00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,312 All right. All right! 452 00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:24,337 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com