1 00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,426 I can't see! 2 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:09,466 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:37,793 ♪ The Simpsons 27x13 ♪ Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 Original Air Date on February 14, 2016 4 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:42,994 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 5 00:00:46,038 --> 00:00:47,170 D'oh! 6 00:01:01,253 --> 00:01:04,587 ♪ ♪ 7 00:01:23,475 --> 00:01:27,310 ♪ ♪ 8 00:01:43,161 --> 00:01:44,260 Hmm? 9 00:01:57,876 --> 00:01:59,609 Uh... 10 00:01:59,644 --> 00:02:00,810 Sir? Yes? 11 00:02:00,846 --> 00:02:03,279 Uh, well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. 12 00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:06,549 Ah, yes, the day of the great Chicago massacre. 13 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:09,519 Uh, and our employees have requested to leave early 14 00:02:09,554 --> 00:02:10,820 to be with their loved ones. 15 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,355 Of course, uh, I'll be with you. 16 00:02:15,727 --> 00:02:17,594 Ooh, Smithers. More face hardener. 17 00:02:18,997 --> 00:02:20,330 Never! 18 00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:23,333 Well, if you want to tamp down a potential rebellion, 19 00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:25,402 might I suggest a party after work. 20 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,937 A sweethearts dance, if you will. 21 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,206 Sweet... hearts? 22 00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:34,077 Mmm... tasty. 23 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,445 Excellent. 24 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,216 No, I don't want candy. 25 00:02:40,252 --> 00:02:42,619 It's not candy, it's baby hearts. 26 00:02:42,654 --> 00:02:44,587 Ah... 27 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,791 A sweet hearts dance it is. 28 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,265 Hey, Brandine! 29 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,101 You know how to shake and bake cherub? 30 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,338 Cletus, you know I can fry up whatever you can shoot down. 31 00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:05,775 Oh, Brandine, of all the cousins I coulda married, 32 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,311 you was my sister. 33 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,248 Carl, this is Mandy. 34 00:03:12,284 --> 00:03:14,484 Mandy, isn't Carl everything I said he was? 35 00:03:14,519 --> 00:03:17,587 Okay, Lenny, time to stop talking about Carl. 36 00:03:17,622 --> 00:03:19,556 Why don't you to ask me to stop breathing? 37 00:03:19,591 --> 00:03:21,391 Oh, Marge, it's so great 38 00:03:21,426 --> 00:03:25,462 to combine the two loves of my life: goofing off and you. 39 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,597 Hey, listen, there's one fantasy 40 00:03:27,632 --> 00:03:29,599 I've always wanted to indulge in. 41 00:03:29,634 --> 00:03:31,468 If you're willing. 42 00:03:38,443 --> 00:03:40,944 What are those frisky hounds up to now? 43 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:46,883 Wait a minute. 44 00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:49,085 That contractor said this was a bottomless pit! 45 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:50,753 I'll have his license! 46 00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:52,755 Hey, Professor! 47 00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:54,624 I didn't know you worked here at the plant. 48 00:03:54,659 --> 00:03:55,692 I consult. 49 00:03:55,727 --> 00:03:57,627 Sometimes they listen, sometimes not. 50 00:03:57,662 --> 00:03:59,896 People have died. You didn't hear that from me. 51 00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,764 So, who are you here with? 52 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,366 Well, no one as yet. 53 00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:06,302 But I haven't turned on the old Frink charm. 54 00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,538 Hello there, vo-ivy. 55 00:04:11,776 --> 00:04:16,012 Well, there's, uh, no mistaking that message. 56 00:04:19,751 --> 00:04:20,751 Hello, Homer! 57 00:04:20,785 --> 00:04:21,885 D'oh! 58 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,119 What is it, Dad? 59 00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:24,787 It's Valentine's Day. 60 00:04:24,823 --> 00:04:26,322 I'm alone. 61 00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,892 And that cat who can smell if you're dying is staring at me. 62 00:04:28,927 --> 00:04:30,059 What are you looking at?! 63 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,428 Son, I'm scared. 64 00:04:32,464 --> 00:04:35,398 This cat has taken five this year. 65 00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:39,135 People in their 90s don't just suddenly die for no reason. 66 00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:40,737 Please come. 67 00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,240 Okay, Dad. We'll come over. 68 00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:46,142 Can you pick me up a pack of diapers? 69 00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:48,478 Oh, for-- They always think they're for me. 70 00:04:48,513 --> 00:04:51,581 Fine. I'll just take a large drum of butt ointment. 71 00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:54,217 Hurry! 72 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,859 Uh-oh. 73 00:05:02,894 --> 00:05:06,529 Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. 74 00:05:06,565 --> 00:05:10,400 I don't see why, unless you found that missing puzzle piece. 75 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,036 How 'bout I put on some music? 76 00:05:13,071 --> 00:05:17,941 ♪ I... never... ♪ 77 00:05:17,976 --> 00:05:20,643 ♪ Smiled again... ♪ 78 00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:25,515 Oh, I used to dance with my Auggie to that tune. 79 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:28,718 Yeah, me and my Bubbeleh made love to that song. 80 00:05:28,753 --> 00:05:31,854 Creating a kid who never visits. 81 00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:35,658 And now back to Prairie Home Companion. 82 00:05:35,694 --> 00:05:38,361 Pull the plug! 83 00:05:38,396 --> 00:05:41,030 No, on me. 84 00:05:41,066 --> 00:05:46,302 Okay, time for some Valentine's candy for our swinging seniors. 85 00:05:46,338 --> 00:05:49,439 Don't patronize us, we know it's pills. 86 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:53,343 But it's a new brand and they're oh so pretty-- look, green. 87 00:05:53,378 --> 00:05:55,311 Like M&M'S with hope. 88 00:05:55,347 --> 00:05:57,814 Oh, it's starting to kick in. 89 00:05:57,849 --> 00:06:00,683 Much... better. 90 00:06:02,554 --> 00:06:05,388 Suddenly, I don't want to kvetch. 91 00:06:05,423 --> 00:06:06,823 I want to kvell! 92 00:06:06,858 --> 00:06:09,592 I can feel all the tension going out of my beard. 93 00:06:09,628 --> 00:06:11,928 Oh... 94 00:06:11,963 --> 00:06:13,396 Oh... 95 00:06:13,431 --> 00:06:15,665 ♪ ♪ 96 00:06:27,746 --> 00:06:29,846 Mona? I thought you were gone. 97 00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:31,280 Nonsense, Abe. 98 00:06:31,316 --> 00:06:33,950 I didn't leave you and I am never going to leave you. 99 00:06:33,985 --> 00:06:36,285 That doesn't sound like the Mona I knew. 100 00:06:36,321 --> 00:06:38,287 I'm the Mona that lives in your memory, 101 00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:42,025 with all the anger turned to honey by nostalgia. 102 00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,626 So what you're saying is, 103 00:06:43,662 --> 00:06:45,628 this is really happening. 104 00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,206 Do you think it's okay to leave them here? 105 00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,709 Marge, all we ever do is leave them here. 106 00:06:59,744 --> 00:07:02,111 I just think there's more we should do. 107 00:07:02,147 --> 00:07:04,213 We could visit your mother. 108 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,449 No. No, you're right. Let's go home. 109 00:07:06,484 --> 00:07:08,151 Check it out, guys. 110 00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:11,854 CVS stands for Cheap Valentines' Surplus. 111 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,923 You get a box! You get a box! 112 00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:17,126 Haven't forgotten about you, suspicious Iranian coworker. 113 00:07:17,162 --> 00:07:18,661 Please, call me Dennis. 114 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:23,332 Oh, my gurvy is muh. 115 00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:25,134 Oi... Professor? 116 00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:27,470 Professor, come on, this is a workplace. 117 00:07:27,505 --> 00:07:29,205 Ooh, dregs! 118 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,673 Oh, wow. 119 00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:33,576 Oh, my egg head is pickled, muh-oyvic. 120 00:07:33,611 --> 00:07:35,645 Did you sleep here all night? 121 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,346 Yes, you are right, I did. 122 00:07:37,382 --> 00:07:39,849 Valentine's Day, you see, is quite difficult for me. 123 00:07:39,884 --> 00:07:42,719 I saw that Stephen Hawking movie and all I could think is, 124 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,655 "He's got a girl?" Give me a frickin' break. 125 00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:46,756 Two girls. 126 00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:48,291 Oh, I'll never win 127 00:07:48,326 --> 00:07:50,927 and I'll always have to only be looking. 128 00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:55,064 Listen, pal, I've had plenty of experience with one woman. 129 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,299 And I can tell you, 130 00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,634 relationships are just trial and error. 131 00:07:58,670 --> 00:07:59,836 Like anniversaries. 132 00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,571 First I tried "don't remember," 133 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,139 then "remember too late," 134 00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:06,476 then I happily settled on "make Lisa remember." 135 00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:09,946 And my relationship with Lisa has never been better. 136 00:08:09,981 --> 00:08:12,115 Yes, you say trial and error, eh? 137 00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:15,051 My good man, that is nothing more than the scientific method. 138 00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:17,687 Well, now, that's a little wasteful. 139 00:08:18,723 --> 00:08:19,989 Ah, much better. 140 00:08:20,024 --> 00:08:22,658 I shall use science to uncover the secret to women. 141 00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,086 Homer, scientific research 142 00:08:26,134 --> 00:08:29,339 can solve anything except for cold fusion, quasars, 143 00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:32,540 the interior of black holes and what preceded the big bang. 144 00:08:32,575 --> 00:08:36,911 But everything else can be solved, including love. 145 00:08:36,946 --> 00:08:38,446 Pish-posh, Professor. 146 00:08:38,481 --> 00:08:41,049 What makes a guy and a girl click isn't science. 147 00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,717 It's chemistry! 148 00:08:42,752 --> 00:08:45,053 Which is science. What?! 149 00:08:46,823 --> 00:08:49,757 See, I have asked an enormous cross-section of women 150 00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:51,859 one single question-- 151 00:08:51,895 --> 00:08:53,561 what attracts you to a man? 152 00:08:53,596 --> 00:08:56,130 Let us listen and learn and have some lemonade, 153 00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,999 which I just squeezed nicely. 154 00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,735 ...the most important thing that I look for... 155 00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:02,837 I like it when they're tall. 156 00:09:02,872 --> 00:09:04,605 Blue eyes! Definitely wants kids. 157 00:09:04,641 --> 00:09:06,974 Hmm, I didn't hear the last one. 158 00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:12,280 First I'll replace these Coke bottle glasses 159 00:09:12,315 --> 00:09:14,782 with invisible blue contacts. 160 00:09:14,818 --> 00:09:16,384 Mm-hmm. 161 00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:18,419 Next, of course, is shoe lifts for height. 162 00:09:18,455 --> 00:09:20,188 Make you much taller, look down upon people. 163 00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:21,689 It's wonderful. Whoa, whoa... 164 00:09:21,725 --> 00:09:23,591 Hey, look at me. I'm Herman Munster! 165 00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:27,662 Actually, he had Lily, who was quite a dish. 166 00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:32,166 So, do you, uh, find me attractive? 167 00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:33,468 Sorry, but no. 168 00:09:33,503 --> 00:09:34,469 Oh, curse the luck! 169 00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:35,737 And this is an android 170 00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,872 that I programmed to say nothing but "yes." 171 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,776 Why? Why? Why? 172 00:09:41,811 --> 00:09:44,245 What am I over-look-ing? 173 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,681 Uh, Professor... don't be offended. 174 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,983 Do you think it might be your voice? 175 00:09:49,018 --> 00:09:50,785 Why, what's wrong with my voice, 176 00:09:50,820 --> 00:09:52,887 with the up and down and the extra words 177 00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:56,991 and the terminal nonsense in the hoyven clyven wayen. 178 00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:00,094 Oh, my God, it's the voice. 179 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,195 Duh. 180 00:10:01,231 --> 00:10:02,530 Hello. 181 00:10:02,565 --> 00:10:04,532 We're here to see Abe Simpson. 182 00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,200 I brought him a homemade card! 183 00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:07,735 I brought me. That's enough. 184 00:10:07,771 --> 00:10:11,572 Oh... what the...? 185 00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:14,675 Gee, I thought they'd be over this by now. 186 00:10:17,113 --> 00:10:19,413 Wow, they are really out of it. 187 00:10:19,449 --> 00:10:21,716 There must be some way to take advantage of them. 188 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,351 You're telling me! 189 00:10:24,587 --> 00:10:25,620 Eh. 190 00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,524 This little device, which fits under the tongue, 191 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,292 will change everything. 192 00:10:32,962 --> 00:10:35,730 : This voice is an amalgam of great voices 193 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:36,998 from Clark Gable... 194 00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,366 to Walter Cronkite... 195 00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,067 to Rush Limbaugh! 196 00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,636 I don't agree with his politics, 197 00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:43,504 but his body is a natural echo chamber. 198 00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:46,240 Wow. That does change everything. 199 00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:48,176 You turned me on. 200 00:10:48,211 --> 00:10:50,878 Oh, it's time for a little field test, I see. 201 00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:52,313 Any other advice, Homer? 202 00:10:52,348 --> 00:10:54,849 Yep-- hang out at yoga classes. 203 00:10:54,884 --> 00:10:56,851 That's where the ladies are. 204 00:10:56,886 --> 00:10:58,986 How would you know about yoga class? 205 00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:01,622 Uh, I thought it was yogurt class. 206 00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:06,460 Twenty-one! Dealer wins again. 207 00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:11,399 Now, here's our headliner, Dolly Parton. 208 00:11:16,172 --> 00:11:18,139 Oh, she's good. 209 00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:19,707 Bart! 210 00:11:19,742 --> 00:11:20,975 Ay, caramba! 211 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:23,144 You're taking advantage of these people 212 00:11:23,179 --> 00:11:24,946 who don't know where they are. 213 00:11:24,981 --> 00:11:26,814 I'm taking them back where they belong. 214 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,149 Oh, no, you don't. 215 00:11:28,184 --> 00:11:30,351 He just comped me a suite! 216 00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:32,086 Fantastic! 217 00:11:40,096 --> 00:11:42,530 You can't keep pumping powerful drugs 218 00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:45,299 into people who can't even bite into a peach. 219 00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:47,702 Mrs. Simpson, it's a fact. 220 00:11:47,737 --> 00:11:49,203 If these seniors aren't medicated, 221 00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:51,572 I can't binge-watch Boardwalk Empire. 222 00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:53,341 Nucky dies at the end! 223 00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,176 Yeah, well, screw you. 224 00:11:55,211 --> 00:11:56,878 I'm going to report you to the state. 225 00:11:56,913 --> 00:11:58,045 I really don't care. 226 00:11:59,315 --> 00:12:00,781 Wha...? 227 00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:02,116 You broke me. 228 00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,018 I'm going to say something I've never said. 229 00:12:04,053 --> 00:12:05,786 How can I help you? 230 00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,389 Um, I'll wait outside 231 00:12:08,424 --> 00:12:10,291 'cause they might make me do something. 232 00:12:10,326 --> 00:12:12,193 I've changed my height, I've changed my eyes, 233 00:12:12,228 --> 00:12:13,761 my relationship status-- 234 00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:16,230 I-I don't know why I put "unavailable" there. 235 00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:18,132 That certainly did not help matters. 236 00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:22,103 But now it is time to change my voice... 237 00:12:22,138 --> 00:12:24,538 Oyce... Voy... 238 00:12:24,574 --> 00:12:27,208 And the hoyvin and the flayvin 239 00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:29,644 are now "hasta la vista, Frinky." 240 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:30,878 Ooh. 241 00:12:30,914 --> 00:12:32,213 Mm... 242 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:37,084 I'm always next to the jerk 243 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,686 who comes here to meet women. 244 00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,021 Hey, look, I get you. 245 00:12:40,056 --> 00:12:42,290 You broke up with a long- time high school boyfriend 246 00:12:42,325 --> 00:12:44,058 'cause he just wasn't going anywhere. 247 00:12:44,093 --> 00:12:46,060 Then you play the field, but it's all losers 248 00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:47,595 who just want to take from you. 249 00:12:47,630 --> 00:12:49,230 Now you're just hoping beyond hope 250 00:12:49,265 --> 00:12:50,765 for a man you can hug 251 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,100 who'll organize the wires behind your TV. 252 00:12:53,136 --> 00:12:54,468 And believe you me, sweetheart, 253 00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:57,171 I can organize every wire you have. 254 00:12:57,206 --> 00:12:59,707 Now I'd like to show you a picture of my new puppy. 255 00:12:59,742 --> 00:13:01,509 Yeah, his name's... 256 00:13:01,544 --> 00:13:02,544 Logarithm. 257 00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:04,578 I mean Larry. 258 00:13:04,614 --> 00:13:07,181 Aw... Here's my number. 259 00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:09,884 And to prove it's not a lie... 260 00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:12,486 Yeah, baby. 261 00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:15,756 Call me! 262 00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:19,193 Man, you're reading page three 263 00:13:19,228 --> 00:13:20,361 and the next thing you know, 264 00:13:20,396 --> 00:13:22,697 you're finishing the last article, hmm. 265 00:13:22,732 --> 00:13:24,298 I got all their numbers! 266 00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:25,599 Boy, you are smooth. 267 00:13:25,635 --> 00:13:26,801 Carl smooth. 268 00:13:26,836 --> 00:13:28,202 Now I'd better get home. 269 00:13:28,237 --> 00:13:31,205 And in case Marge is mad, can I borrow that chip? 270 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,108 Oh, sure thing, pal. I have extras. 271 00:13:37,246 --> 00:13:39,647 Chitter, chitter, baby. 272 00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:47,188 I was so worried. 273 00:13:47,223 --> 00:13:48,422 Where have you been? 274 00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:49,824 No, don't tell me. 275 00:13:49,859 --> 00:13:51,759 I don't want to hear one of your stupid lies. 276 00:13:51,794 --> 00:13:53,627 Marge, my dear, 277 00:13:53,663 --> 00:13:56,964 you are the pork chop with gravy on top. 278 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,235 And I'm the applesauce that brings out your flavor. 279 00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,970 Oh, Homie. 280 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:08,976 What the hell was that? 281 00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:10,111 What the...? 282 00:14:10,146 --> 00:14:11,146 You're not my wife. 283 00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,414 Which I find intriguing. 284 00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,549 Suit yourself. 285 00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:19,620 So, Professor, tell me all about last night. 286 00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:20,955 Dish-dish-dish! 287 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,858 Uh, yes, well, I can't talk now. I'm on a date. 288 00:14:23,893 --> 00:14:25,059 And then I have a date. 289 00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:27,561 And then another date. 290 00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:29,997 Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? 291 00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,799 This is my cousin, Nookie Kwan. 292 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,801 I'm number one on the east side. 293 00:14:33,836 --> 00:14:35,379 Oh, gah-layvin. 294 00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:39,099 Have any of you seen John Frink? 295 00:14:39,199 --> 00:14:40,098 He ain't here. 296 00:14:40,134 --> 00:14:41,166 But his hover-tronic 297 00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:43,668 Frink-a-ma-car is parked outside. 298 00:14:43,704 --> 00:14:46,071 Hey, if I say he ain't here, he ain't here. 299 00:14:46,106 --> 00:14:48,907 Hey, Moe, there's a rat floating in my beer. 300 00:14:48,942 --> 00:14:51,043 It ain't there. 301 00:14:52,079 --> 00:14:53,712 Thank you, my good man, 302 00:14:53,747 --> 00:14:55,714 but, uh, I saw some terrible things down there. 303 00:14:55,749 --> 00:14:58,817 Like for one, Moe is pantsless. 304 00:14:58,852 --> 00:15:00,952 Hey, it's apron-only Tuesday. 305 00:15:00,988 --> 00:15:02,020 Oi... 306 00:15:02,056 --> 00:15:03,688 You're a lucky guy, Frinky. 307 00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:05,123 Got all the chicks you want 308 00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:06,725 while I can't find a single woman 309 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,795 to put up with me and my domesticated wolverine. 310 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,163 Lucky Frink. I got nothin'. 311 00:15:11,198 --> 00:15:12,864 Some guys get all the breaks. 312 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,299 Let me see here. 313 00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:15,734 Uh, needy men... 314 00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,202 plus lonely women... 315 00:15:17,237 --> 00:15:19,237 I-I just bring them together! 316 00:15:19,273 --> 00:15:20,739 Hey, that's some nice thinkin' there. 317 00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:22,774 Now, how 'bout a beer and a baked potato. 318 00:15:22,810 --> 00:15:24,242 Ah, that sounds nice. 319 00:15:24,278 --> 00:15:26,144 We don't serve baked potatoes. 320 00:15:27,714 --> 00:15:28,780 What happened? 321 00:15:28,816 --> 00:15:31,149 Everyone is incredibly depressed. 322 00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:40,759 I admit the hallucinations were getting out of hand, 323 00:15:40,794 --> 00:15:42,327 so I stopped the meds. 324 00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:45,730 And hid them in the one place they'll never look: the library. 325 00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,066 Well, there's one thing you didn't count on-- 326 00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:52,237 I go there because it's the only room in this building with heat. 327 00:15:54,007 --> 00:15:57,175 Grampa, you're not allowed to take dangerous drugs 328 00:15:57,211 --> 00:15:59,077 unless they're in a little paper cup. 329 00:15:59,113 --> 00:16:00,846 Listen here. 330 00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:03,048 Every night I watch my roommate cry himself to sleep. 331 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,650 Yesterday I found out it was a mirror! 332 00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:07,652 I'm gonna find my Mona! 333 00:16:09,189 --> 00:16:12,157 There's a lesson here-- never visit Grampa. 334 00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:19,197 My old car. 335 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:22,200 Oh, that's some fine hallucinatin'. 336 00:16:22,236 --> 00:16:25,904 To the good ol' days before polio was cured! 337 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,842 ♪ ♪ 338 00:16:41,688 --> 00:16:42,921 Hot diggity! 339 00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:45,090 It's America the way I liked it, 340 00:16:45,125 --> 00:16:48,360 before we went to the moon and discovered how boring it was. 341 00:16:51,298 --> 00:16:54,699 I found the one happy moment in 80 years of life 342 00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:56,134 and I ain't leavin' it. 343 00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,069 Oh, this ain't right. 344 00:16:59,139 --> 00:17:00,139 That's better! 345 00:17:00,174 --> 00:17:01,706 This ends right now! 346 00:17:01,742 --> 00:17:04,910 She's not real. None of this is real. 347 00:17:04,945 --> 00:17:08,046 Imaginary cigarettes? Nonexistent candy? 348 00:17:09,449 --> 00:17:10,849 Get outta here, Marge! 349 00:17:10,884 --> 00:17:13,885 Unescorted women like you aren't allowed in this era! 350 00:17:13,921 --> 00:17:15,887 I'm not getting out, I'm cutting in. 351 00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:17,322 You can't live here. 352 00:17:17,357 --> 00:17:20,225 You have people in the real world who love you. 353 00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:22,661 Two are standing right over here. 354 00:17:22,696 --> 00:17:25,230 If you live in the past, you'll never have us. 355 00:17:25,265 --> 00:17:28,400 And what's more precious to a grampa than his grandchildren? 356 00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:31,603 Particularly his grandson. 357 00:17:31,638 --> 00:17:35,106 Aw, your sexist argument has won me over. 358 00:17:35,142 --> 00:17:37,275 We women will have our day. 359 00:17:37,311 --> 00:17:38,376 Attaboy. 360 00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:41,112 Good-bye, Mona. 361 00:17:41,148 --> 00:17:43,615 And good-bye, pack of cigarettes for a quarter. 362 00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:46,418 I think I'll miss you the most. 363 00:17:49,556 --> 00:17:51,089 So what, uh... 364 00:17:51,124 --> 00:17:53,692 all that dancin' around with me meant nothin'? 365 00:17:53,727 --> 00:17:56,995 Oh, I'll be back to steal a kiss later. 366 00:17:57,030 --> 00:17:58,530 And as for you... 367 00:17:58,565 --> 00:18:00,899 I've got more involved plans. 368 00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:06,705 So, Frink is finally going to announce which woman 369 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:09,975 he's chosen to be with at the Springfield Planetarium. 370 00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,910 It's like an episode of The Bachelor, 371 00:18:11,945 --> 00:18:14,679 but you drive there and pay six dollars for parking. 372 00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,816 Why are we both explaining it if we all know what's happening? 373 00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:20,218 I like talking to you. 374 00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:28,893 Ladies, please pay attention here. 375 00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:34,432 You see, I, uh... I thought I was the only one who was lonely. 376 00:18:34,468 --> 00:18:37,435 But I have learned that loneliness is everywhere, 377 00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:39,237 like superhero movies. 378 00:18:39,273 --> 00:18:42,173 How many times can Batman begin? 379 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:45,010 I have reworked my algorithms 380 00:18:45,045 --> 00:18:46,711 to make you not like me, 381 00:18:46,747 --> 00:18:50,515 but to find the man that will make each of you happiest, yes. 382 00:18:50,550 --> 00:18:52,484 Uh, release the bachelors! 383 00:18:52,519 --> 00:18:54,753 I hope they enjoy it. 384 00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:02,260 Duffman would love to be taught 385 00:19:02,296 --> 00:19:05,263 how to speak in the first-person. 386 00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,932 Everyone's paired up. 387 00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:09,934 Almost everyone's paired up. 388 00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:12,304 Professor, what about you? 389 00:19:12,339 --> 00:19:13,672 Where's your match? 390 00:19:13,707 --> 00:19:17,075 For me, my true love is intellectual conquest, 391 00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,377 the-the music of the spheres. 392 00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:23,782 Well, sometimes it's good just to be alone. 393 00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:31,990 ♪ And now the purple dusk of twilight time ♪ 394 00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:37,629 ♪ Steals across the meadows of my heart ♪ 395 00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:41,066 ♪ High up in the sky ♪ 396 00:19:41,101 --> 00:19:44,803 ♪ The little stars climb... ♪ 397 00:19:44,838 --> 00:19:47,806 What are you doing with my daughter?! 398 00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:50,642 Why did I build a mother? Oi, goy-vick. 399 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,294 Wait a minute, how come we're all back here? 400 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,597 I flushed the rest of the pills down the toilet. 401 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,333 Looks like they made their way to the reservoir. 402 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,401 We should really try to wake up. 403 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,704 Are you kidding? There's a full buffet 404 00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:08,105 and Dean Martin's here. 405 00:20:08,141 --> 00:20:09,440 Eh, that's right, pally. 406 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,641 Here, try the shrimp. 407 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,244 Some have gone bad, but, uh, most are fine. 408 00:20:14,679 --> 00:20:21,179 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 409 00:21:00,243 --> 00:21:02,443 Shh!