1 00:00:10,854 --> 00:00:12,487 Hmm? 2 00:00:14,212 --> 00:00:18,212 ♪ The Simpsons 27x16 ♪ The Marge-ian Chronicles Original Air Date on March 13, 2016 3 00:00:23,133 --> 00:00:24,432 Hey, Flanders. 4 00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:26,601 Gas up your leaf blower much? 5 00:00:26,636 --> 00:00:27,935 Chickens? 6 00:00:27,971 --> 00:00:29,421 Since when do you have chickens? 7 00:00:29,422 --> 00:00:30,721 Oh, about six months. 8 00:00:30,756 --> 00:00:32,056 Well, they've been driving me crazy. 9 00:00:32,091 --> 00:00:33,724 Get rid of them. Oh. 10 00:00:33,759 --> 00:00:36,060 Don't let these feathery fellas ruffle your feathers, fella. 11 00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,394 Chickens. 12 00:00:37,430 --> 00:00:39,063 You have yourself a perfectly good coop, 13 00:00:39,098 --> 00:00:40,397 and that's what you keep in it? 14 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,469 Oh, Homer, surely you know 15 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,471 there's nothing tastier than a fresh-laid egg. 16 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:48,806 How do you want 'em, boys? 17 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,475 Coddled! Coddled! Coddled! 18 00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:55,913 What is it about boys and their coddled eggs? 19 00:00:55,948 --> 00:00:57,147 Hmm. 20 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,816 Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,050 Hmm? 22 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,154 Whoa, so orange. 23 00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,225 I'm sorry, I can't eat these. 24 00:01:08,260 --> 00:01:10,561 Flanders has freshly-pooped eggs, 25 00:01:10,596 --> 00:01:14,732 orange as a sunset over a field of ripe Doritos, 26 00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:16,233 while these-- 27 00:01:16,268 --> 00:01:19,236 look, I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking-- 28 00:01:19,271 --> 00:01:21,238 store eggs are yellow. 29 00:01:21,273 --> 00:01:24,975 They're yellow eggs, Marge. Yellow. 30 00:01:25,011 --> 00:01:27,978 Why do you always think about what you don't have? 31 00:01:28,014 --> 00:01:31,015 Has anyone ever thought about what they do have? 32 00:01:31,050 --> 00:01:32,683 Have you? Not that much. 33 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,184 Have you? Nope! 34 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,220 Have you? 35 00:01:36,656 --> 00:01:40,124 Boy, I won't live long enough to teach you about sex, 36 00:01:40,159 --> 00:01:43,694 but I'll be damned if I don't show you how to steal eggs. 37 00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:49,333 Okay, son, stay sharp in there. 38 00:01:49,368 --> 00:01:51,335 If chickens are known for two things, 39 00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,203 it's bravery and intelligence. 40 00:01:57,009 --> 00:01:59,009 This is what we're after. 41 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,050 I got one. 42 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,418 Hurry, fat-ass! 43 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,064 How can idiots say there's no God 44 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,399 when a species that evolved from dinosaurs 45 00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:25,069 feeds us their unfertilized babies? 46 00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:27,071 Ugh, if I could lay eggs like these, 47 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,906 I'd never leave my bedroom. 48 00:02:33,579 --> 00:02:34,912 The farmer! 49 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:38,582 Homer Simpson, I am going to enjoy finding it in my heart 50 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,551 to forgive you for this. 51 00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,756 Well, there's no getting past that. 52 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,092 We may not be able to steal Flanders' eggs, 53 00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:50,094 but we can steal his idea. 54 00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,096 You mean get our own chickens, 55 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,431 feed them, love them and eat their eggs? 56 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,100 Check. Mate. 57 00:03:00,406 --> 00:03:02,706 Urban poultry farming is a great way 58 00:03:02,742 --> 00:03:04,441 to reduce our carbon footprint. 59 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,443 Or maybe increase it, I'm not sure. 60 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:08,445 But they're so cute! 61 00:03:08,481 --> 00:03:09,780 Now, don't get attached. 62 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,116 I'm about to cut them open to scoop out the eggs. 63 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,584 No, look! 64 00:03:13,619 --> 00:03:15,119 They're already laying. 65 00:03:16,489 --> 00:03:18,455 Now, what lays bacon? 66 00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:22,593 One... two... eggs! 67 00:03:25,631 --> 00:03:27,030 Delicious. Delicious. 68 00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:29,199 These don't taste right. 69 00:03:29,235 --> 00:03:32,703 You're crazy, these are the best eggs I've ever eaten. 70 00:03:32,738 --> 00:03:33,704 No. 71 00:03:33,739 --> 00:03:35,706 No, something is missing. 72 00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:36,707 Hmm. 73 00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:45,048 Hmm, Bart's right. 74 00:03:45,084 --> 00:03:48,385 They're not as good as the eggs we stole from Flanders. 75 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:52,389 The eggs... we stole... from Flanders! 76 00:03:52,424 --> 00:03:54,057 You don't think they tasted so great 77 00:03:54,093 --> 00:03:56,059 because they were stolen, do you? 78 00:03:56,095 --> 00:03:57,427 Only one way to find out. 79 00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:00,798 My potato chips! 80 00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:03,834 Okay, first, a chip from the control bag. 81 00:04:05,171 --> 00:04:06,503 Now the stolen bag. 82 00:04:09,842 --> 00:04:10,808 It's true. 83 00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:12,976 Theft equals flavor. 84 00:04:17,016 --> 00:04:18,315 Ah, forget it. 85 00:04:18,350 --> 00:04:19,316 Just take 'em. 86 00:04:19,351 --> 00:04:20,984 You can't just give them to us! 87 00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,320 They only taste good if we steal them! 88 00:04:23,355 --> 00:04:24,321 Keep chasing! 89 00:04:24,356 --> 00:04:26,089 It improves the flavor! 90 00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:28,192 Sure, sure, whatever works for you. 91 00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,530 I guess we don't need our chickens anymore. 92 00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:36,533 Don't worry, I've already found a research facility 93 00:04:36,569 --> 00:04:38,202 that will raise them humanely. 94 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,404 I wasn't worried about that. 95 00:04:46,212 --> 00:04:49,847 If you're going to eat the chickens, don't tell the girl. 96 00:04:49,882 --> 00:04:53,283 Oh, no, these chickens are here to advance the cause of science. 97 00:04:57,990 --> 00:05:00,324 Look at all those lab coats. 98 00:05:04,330 --> 00:05:05,629 At Exploration Incorporated, 99 00:05:05,664 --> 00:05:08,632 our mission is to help humanity make the next big leap. 100 00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:10,300 That's so fascinating. 101 00:05:10,336 --> 00:05:12,102 When did you incorporate? 102 00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,437 We are preparing to launch 103 00:05:13,472 --> 00:05:16,139 the first privately-funded, manned mission to Mars. 104 00:05:16,175 --> 00:05:18,809 You're going to Mars? 105 00:05:18,844 --> 00:05:20,143 That's incredible. 106 00:05:20,179 --> 00:05:21,478 Uh, yes. 107 00:05:21,513 --> 00:05:23,146 How do you plan to solve the problem 108 00:05:23,182 --> 00:05:25,816 of eyeball explosion when you take off your space helmet? 109 00:05:25,851 --> 00:05:27,818 Uh, you leave your helmet on. 110 00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,720 Hmm, these guys seem legit. 111 00:05:29,755 --> 00:05:32,222 This video will explain our revolutionary vision. 112 00:05:36,662 --> 00:05:38,896 Human beings are explorers. 113 00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:42,799 It's what we do. 114 00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:45,535 It's who we are. 115 00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:48,538 But since our world holds no more secrets, 116 00:05:48,574 --> 00:05:50,707 we must journey... to Mars. 117 00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:53,543 Government agencies like NASA say it will be decades 118 00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:55,879 before we set foot on the Red Planet. 119 00:05:55,915 --> 00:05:59,549 At Exploration Incorporated, we're working hard to establish 120 00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:03,553 a human settlement on Mars ten years from today. 121 00:06:03,589 --> 00:06:05,555 Soon a select group of colonists 122 00:06:05,591 --> 00:06:07,224 will leave Earth forever 123 00:06:07,259 --> 00:06:10,227 and become the first residents of another world. 124 00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:11,895 Will you be one of them? 125 00:06:23,609 --> 00:06:25,575 Exploration Incorporated. 126 00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:27,577 Never stop exploring. 127 00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:31,048 What about those Mars nutjobs? 128 00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:34,051 Who wants to take a one-way trip to a barren, lifeless rock? 129 00:06:34,086 --> 00:06:36,386 Yeah, in a couple years, we'll have 130 00:06:36,422 --> 00:06:39,389 a perfectly good barren, lifeless rock right here 131 00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:40,757 This guy gets it. 132 00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:43,126 Well, this mission really gives me hope. 133 00:06:43,162 --> 00:06:46,330 I'm tired of nothing but bad news about the future. 134 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:48,332 Yes, but to travel to another planet, 135 00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:50,000 knowing you can never come back, 136 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,336 you'd have to be pretty sad. 137 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:54,338 Aniston sad. 138 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:56,340 I'm not sad, I'm inspired. 139 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:58,575 That's why I volunteered this afternoon. 140 00:06:58,610 --> 00:06:59,576 What?! 141 00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:01,078 The mission leaves in ten years. 142 00:07:01,113 --> 00:07:04,081 I'll be 18, and I'm going to Mars. 143 00:07:04,116 --> 00:07:05,415 No way, young lady. 144 00:07:05,451 --> 00:07:07,351 We cannot afford to send you to Mars. 145 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,518 It's free. 146 00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,686 Cheaper than college. 147 00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,043 No. No! 148 00:07:12,576 --> 00:07:16,658 You volunteered to go to Mars and leave your family? 149 00:07:16,663 --> 00:07:17,962 Forever? 150 00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:19,964 This mission could save humanity. 151 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,201 What if I was the first person to set foot on another world? 152 00:07:23,236 --> 00:07:25,703 I'd never be able to hug my daughter again. 153 00:07:25,739 --> 00:07:27,205 They thought of that. 154 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:31,042 They give a virtual hug machine to every family back home. 155 00:07:31,077 --> 00:07:33,044 That does look pretty snuggly. 156 00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:34,145 No! 157 00:07:34,181 --> 00:07:36,147 I think this could be my true purpose. 158 00:07:36,183 --> 00:07:37,816 Just let me try out. 159 00:07:37,851 --> 00:07:39,484 They might not even pick me. 160 00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:40,952 I mean, I'd pick me, but... 161 00:07:40,987 --> 00:07:42,287 Absolutely not. 162 00:07:42,322 --> 00:07:43,621 You are grounded. 163 00:07:43,657 --> 00:07:45,957 You are confined to this planet. 164 00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:47,325 And its moon. 165 00:07:51,364 --> 00:07:52,764 Uh, honey? 166 00:07:52,799 --> 00:07:54,799 A word before you continue parenting? 167 00:07:54,835 --> 00:07:56,801 What? 168 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:59,471 In all my years of living with the female species, 169 00:07:59,506 --> 00:08:00,805 I've learned one thing. 170 00:08:00,841 --> 00:08:02,807 When they want to do something totally insane, 171 00:08:02,843 --> 00:08:06,611 your only move is to support them 100%. 172 00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:08,646 Oh, come on, that's ridiculous. 173 00:08:08,682 --> 00:08:10,315 Really? Have you ever done anything 174 00:08:10,350 --> 00:08:12,817 just because someone told you not to? 175 00:08:14,855 --> 00:08:17,155 You cannot marry Homer Simpson. 176 00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:19,090 I forbid it. 177 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,091 Hmm. 178 00:08:20,126 --> 00:08:21,759 And now you got me. 179 00:08:25,665 --> 00:08:27,632 Oh, my gosh. 180 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,634 We both know Lisa's not going to Mars. 181 00:08:29,669 --> 00:08:31,636 It's just a little girl's fantasy. 182 00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:33,905 But if you forbid someone from doing something, 183 00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:35,240 they'll want to do it more. 184 00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:37,242 So we should just pretend we're cool 185 00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:39,577 with our daughter abandoning us forever? 186 00:08:39,613 --> 00:08:41,246 Exactly. 187 00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:44,582 It's an old relationship move I call "turning into the skid." 188 00:08:44,618 --> 00:08:46,251 If you just play along, 189 00:08:46,286 --> 00:08:50,288 sooner or later Lisa will lose interest in her terrible idea. 190 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:53,491 You haven't used that trick on me, have you? 191 00:08:53,527 --> 00:08:57,161 No, no. I learned it from observing other marriages. 192 00:08:57,197 --> 00:09:00,498 Ones less fantastic than ours. 193 00:09:03,537 --> 00:09:07,405 Hmm, "turning into the skid." 194 00:09:08,742 --> 00:09:10,375 You know, I looked at a map, 195 00:09:10,410 --> 00:09:13,211 and Mars is just one planet over. 196 00:09:13,246 --> 00:09:17,148 If you really want to try out for this mission, I support you. 197 00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:18,816 Really? Thanks, Mom! 198 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:20,818 If they choose me to be a colonist, 199 00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:23,154 I could make jazz the dominant music form 200 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,722 of a whole new planet. 201 00:09:24,758 --> 00:09:27,759 That's exactly where jazz belongs. 202 00:09:30,463 --> 00:09:32,764 Way to turn into the skid, baby. 203 00:09:32,799 --> 00:09:35,433 Now watch Lisa lose interest in Mars, 204 00:09:35,468 --> 00:09:37,101 just as sure as you gave up 205 00:09:37,137 --> 00:09:39,437 on opening that G-rated comedy club. 206 00:09:39,472 --> 00:09:42,106 I thought Gentle Jollies was a great idea. 207 00:09:42,142 --> 00:09:45,109 Oh, not great. Amazing. 208 00:09:45,145 --> 00:09:47,445 Hmm, now that I think about it, 209 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,814 that idea did have a lot of problems. 210 00:09:54,287 --> 00:09:55,587 Greetings, candidates. 211 00:09:55,622 --> 00:09:57,589 The testing that begins today will determine 212 00:09:57,624 --> 00:10:00,725 which of you have the necessary skills to thrive on Mars. 213 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,393 Think of how satisfying it will feel 214 00:10:02,429 --> 00:10:04,062 to stand in the Valles Marineris 215 00:10:04,097 --> 00:10:06,197 and thunder-chug a Blue Bronco energy drink. 216 00:10:06,232 --> 00:10:08,099 I'm sorry, Blue Bronco? Wait, thunder-chug? 217 00:10:08,134 --> 00:10:09,434 Blue Bronco is just one 218 00:10:09,469 --> 00:10:11,436 of this mission's many corporate partners. 219 00:10:11,471 --> 00:10:14,439 Because this is a privately funded entrepreneurial mission, 220 00:10:14,474 --> 00:10:17,442 we've teamed up with some of America's most exciting brands. 221 00:10:17,477 --> 00:10:19,444 We're talking Mega-Charge Batteries, 222 00:10:19,479 --> 00:10:21,446 Fantasy-Lunatics.com, 223 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:22,780 Trudge-Rite Work Boots, 224 00:10:22,816 --> 00:10:24,115 Draft-Pigs. 225 00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,117 And who here likes Fig Glutens? 226 00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:32,557 What? The fig seeds get caught in my adult braces. 227 00:10:33,927 --> 00:10:37,495 Oh, I should not have given away my dog, man. 228 00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:43,101 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 229 00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:45,103 Oh, it's hurting my... 230 00:10:45,138 --> 00:10:47,472 Oi! I can't feel my... 231 00:10:51,645 --> 00:10:52,977 Principal Skinner? 232 00:10:53,013 --> 00:10:54,479 What brings you on this mission 233 00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:56,848 to make mankind a two-planet species? 234 00:10:56,883 --> 00:10:58,783 Mars is the ultimate field trip. 235 00:10:58,818 --> 00:11:02,020 And all they sell at the gift shop is immortality. 236 00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:03,855 Also, I'm drowning in debt. 237 00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:08,126 Well, I hope to establish a planet of perfect equality-ment. 238 00:11:08,161 --> 00:11:10,061 On Mars, you are my servant. 239 00:11:10,096 --> 00:11:12,630 Uh, well, well, either way is good, really. 240 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,900 And then, finally, 241 00:11:15,935 --> 00:11:17,902 I got to spend some quality time 242 00:11:17,937 --> 00:11:19,570 with the oxygen reclaimers. 243 00:11:19,606 --> 00:11:22,540 You must've felt like the belle of the ball. 244 00:11:22,575 --> 00:11:25,009 You said if I supported Lisa's crazy idea, 245 00:11:25,045 --> 00:11:26,711 she'd lose interest. 246 00:11:26,746 --> 00:11:28,179 Oh, Marge. 247 00:11:28,214 --> 00:11:30,281 You'll never understand the female mind. 248 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,150 We're just getting started. 249 00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:33,851 What more can we do? 250 00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:36,187 I've utilized my male mind to come up with 251 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:37,922 a plan so supportive, 252 00:11:37,957 --> 00:11:41,192 Lisa will never want to do anything again. 253 00:11:44,764 --> 00:11:47,865 What are you guys doing here? 254 00:11:47,901 --> 00:11:49,901 We're trying out for Mars, too. 255 00:11:49,936 --> 00:11:53,171 We were so inspired by you being inspired. 256 00:11:53,206 --> 00:11:55,673 A family unit could be perfect for this mission. 257 00:11:55,709 --> 00:11:57,208 NASA would never have the guts 258 00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,677 to shoot a baby into space. 259 00:11:59,713 --> 00:12:01,245 And your father is a former astronaut. 260 00:12:01,281 --> 00:12:02,647 What an honor. 261 00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:04,682 Last time, I almost killed everybody. 262 00:12:04,718 --> 00:12:06,117 And what did you learn from that? 263 00:12:06,152 --> 00:12:07,652 Lessons, I guess. 264 00:12:07,687 --> 00:12:08,653 Okay. 265 00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:09,787 Mom, Dad and Bart 266 00:12:09,823 --> 00:12:11,055 don't want to go to Mars. 267 00:12:11,091 --> 00:12:12,657 So this must be some sort of 268 00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:15,493 mind-game reverse super-fake-out. 269 00:12:15,528 --> 00:12:16,828 Poor Lisa. 270 00:12:16,863 --> 00:12:18,896 She is so faked out. 271 00:12:18,932 --> 00:12:21,566 And all I have to do is be patient. 272 00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:24,669 Pretty soon, they'll get sick of this and quit. 273 00:12:24,704 --> 00:12:26,037 I'm getting sick of this. 274 00:12:26,072 --> 00:12:27,271 I think I'll quit soon. 275 00:12:27,307 --> 00:12:29,774 It's just a matter of time. 276 00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:33,277 I wonder which one of these two guys is the one I quit to? 277 00:12:33,313 --> 00:12:34,779 We will now test your ability 278 00:12:34,814 --> 00:12:36,614 to handle close confinement. 279 00:12:36,649 --> 00:12:37,982 For the next week, 280 00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:40,384 you'll be living in the Martian Habitat Simulator. 281 00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:45,857 I'll man this station. 282 00:12:49,829 --> 00:12:51,062 Okay, Mom. 283 00:12:51,097 --> 00:12:53,831 Since you're so excited to go to Mars, 284 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,767 you'll be thrilled to start on 285 00:12:55,802 --> 00:12:59,303 the hab's daily maintenance procedures. 286 00:12:59,339 --> 00:13:03,341 "Nutrition Zone Sterilization Sequence." 287 00:13:03,376 --> 00:13:05,743 That's just kitchen cleanup. 288 00:13:05,779 --> 00:13:06,744 Fun! 289 00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:07,780 No, no, no. 290 00:13:07,814 --> 00:13:09,480 Procedures aren't "fun." 291 00:13:09,516 --> 00:13:12,650 Sure, if you call them "procedures," they're a bore, 292 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:14,485 but if you think of them as "chores," 293 00:13:14,521 --> 00:13:16,320 they can be a blast! 294 00:13:16,356 --> 00:13:18,422 They're not chores! 295 00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,757 They're science! 296 00:13:19,793 --> 00:13:21,325 Ooh, there's even directions 297 00:13:21,361 --> 00:13:23,327 on how to properly clean this binder. 298 00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:27,765 Oh, no. 299 00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:29,801 You cannot like this more than me. 300 00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:37,909 Dinner is served! 301 00:13:37,944 --> 00:13:40,278 I rehydrated it with love. 302 00:13:40,313 --> 00:13:41,946 And recycled toilet water. 303 00:13:44,918 --> 00:13:46,284 So good, Marge! 304 00:13:46,319 --> 00:13:50,188 Well, today I tested nitrogen levels in our atmosphere. 305 00:13:51,224 --> 00:13:52,723 They were the same as yesterday. 306 00:13:52,759 --> 00:13:54,725 More toilet carrots, please! 307 00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:58,629 Can't sleep. 308 00:14:00,733 --> 00:14:03,234 My sleeping pod's too small. 309 00:14:03,269 --> 00:14:04,836 They have an expansion mode 310 00:14:04,871 --> 00:14:07,471 for morbidly obese astronauts. 311 00:14:07,507 --> 00:14:09,140 Hmm. 312 00:14:09,175 --> 00:14:11,609 I know we're just here to fake-support our daughter, 313 00:14:11,644 --> 00:14:13,711 but you're pretty good at this space junk. 314 00:14:13,746 --> 00:14:15,413 Moms spend their whole lives 315 00:14:15,448 --> 00:14:18,282 obsessing over unlikely catastrophes. 316 00:14:18,318 --> 00:14:20,818 In space, that's what you're supposed to do. 317 00:14:46,212 --> 00:14:47,912 The hab study is complete. 318 00:14:47,947 --> 00:14:49,714 To all the male participants, 319 00:14:49,749 --> 00:14:51,349 your monumental incompetence 320 00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:53,351 has sullied and cheapened space forever. 321 00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:54,719 Now get out. 322 00:14:54,754 --> 00:14:56,053 Good. It's a stupid idea 323 00:14:56,089 --> 00:14:58,689 and I hope everyone dies. 324 00:14:58,725 --> 00:15:00,658 You're letting the Martians in! 325 00:15:01,828 --> 00:15:03,394 I'm keeping the jumpsuit. 326 00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:05,429 Marge and Lisa, congratulations. 327 00:15:05,465 --> 00:15:07,231 You've both passed with flying colors 328 00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:09,867 and will be named finalists in our astronaut search. 329 00:15:09,903 --> 00:15:11,269 Marge, you're a revelation. 330 00:15:11,304 --> 00:15:14,405 Most of our candidates are of the egghead loner variety. 331 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,574 Bookworms, teacher's pets, 332 00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:18,709 friendless middle children, that sort of thing. 333 00:15:20,079 --> 00:15:21,879 But you display an amazing ability 334 00:15:21,915 --> 00:15:24,415 to perform repetitive tasks without getting bored. 335 00:15:24,450 --> 00:15:26,717 Even our robotic arm gets a little cranky. 336 00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:27,718 Ow! 337 00:15:27,754 --> 00:15:28,953 That's two, Lorraine! 338 00:15:30,323 --> 00:15:32,323 May I talk to you in private, please? 339 00:15:37,764 --> 00:15:40,298 Admit it: the only reason you're here is to support me 340 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:42,033 until I lose interest and quit. 341 00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,668 Well, I'm not going anywhere, 342 00:15:43,703 --> 00:15:45,102 so you can quit. 343 00:15:45,138 --> 00:15:47,271 Maybe I don't want to quit. 344 00:15:47,307 --> 00:15:51,642 Do you realize what a big deal it is to be a space colonist? 345 00:15:51,678 --> 00:15:52,643 Yes! 346 00:15:52,679 --> 00:15:54,211 That's why I want to do it! 347 00:15:54,247 --> 00:15:57,615 I think you don't like that I'm just as good at Mars as you. 348 00:15:57,650 --> 00:15:59,250 Maybe even better. 349 00:15:59,285 --> 00:16:00,751 Ha! Hardly. 350 00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:02,219 All you are is a... 351 00:16:02,255 --> 00:16:04,789 a stay-at-hab space wife! 352 00:16:04,824 --> 00:16:05,923 Hmm. 353 00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:09,293 Well, it looks like the ego has landed. 354 00:16:09,329 --> 00:16:10,394 You're the last person 355 00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:11,870 I would ever want to go to Mars with. 356 00:16:11,898 --> 00:16:13,297 In ten years. 357 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,932 That's too bad, 358 00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:17,068 because I'm going with you. 359 00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:18,402 In ten years. 360 00:16:21,574 --> 00:16:23,674 On Mars, that would be a door slam! 361 00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:29,267 Sometimes I feel like Lisa has no respect for me. 362 00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:31,168 I know, I know. 363 00:16:31,203 --> 00:16:32,936 I'm finally good at something 364 00:16:32,971 --> 00:16:35,038 and she has to make it into a competition. 365 00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:36,907 That must be really hard for you. 366 00:16:36,942 --> 00:16:38,175 It is. 367 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,777 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 368 00:16:40,813 --> 00:16:42,312 Thank you. 369 00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:44,681 Mom's always trying to hold me back! 370 00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:46,583 I know, I know. 371 00:16:46,618 --> 00:16:48,952 I can't be her little girl forever. 372 00:16:48,987 --> 00:16:50,787 That must be really hard for you. 373 00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:52,122 It is! 374 00:16:52,157 --> 00:16:53,824 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. 375 00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,091 Thank you. 376 00:16:56,361 --> 00:16:57,994 That listening-to-women junk 377 00:16:58,030 --> 00:16:59,696 you taught me really works. 378 00:16:59,731 --> 00:17:01,731 The trick is in the nodding. 379 00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:05,502 Dad, after seeing Mom and Lisa go at it, 380 00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:08,004 I'm glad our relationship is about physical abuse, 381 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,573 not psychological. 382 00:17:09,608 --> 00:17:11,241 Me, too, boy. 383 00:17:11,276 --> 00:17:12,476 Aw. 384 00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,778 This press conference was originally scheduled 385 00:17:14,813 --> 00:17:17,481 to introduce our ten Mars mission finalists. 386 00:17:17,516 --> 00:17:20,050 However, our rivals at Space Colony One, 387 00:17:20,085 --> 00:17:21,718 a division of Pepperidge Farms, 388 00:17:21,753 --> 00:17:25,155 just announced that their Mars rocket is nearing completion. 389 00:17:25,190 --> 00:17:27,357 We made a solemn promise to Fig Glutens 390 00:17:27,392 --> 00:17:29,659 that they would be the first cookie on Mars. 391 00:17:29,695 --> 00:17:33,563 Therefore, we have moved up our launch date from 2026 to... 392 00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:34,898 Thursday. 393 00:17:35,868 --> 00:17:36,967 Thursday? 394 00:17:37,002 --> 00:17:38,068 This Thursday? 395 00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:40,237 Are you all ready to be a part of history? 396 00:17:40,272 --> 00:17:42,005 I wanted to be someone 397 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,741 who's bravely going to Mars eventually. 398 00:17:44,776 --> 00:17:46,576 I haven't used my Open Table dining points! 399 00:17:46,612 --> 00:17:48,378 I'm still very much an alcoholic. 400 00:17:50,849 --> 00:17:53,517 Uh, I-I guess we should leave, too. 401 00:17:53,552 --> 00:17:55,485 I knew it! What? 402 00:17:55,521 --> 00:17:57,554 This has all been an elaborate charade. 403 00:17:57,589 --> 00:17:59,923 You never had the guts to go to Mars. 404 00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,725 Oh, I have the guts. 405 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:05,095 I once went to a rock concert by myself in the rain. 406 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,763 It was Loverboy. 407 00:18:06,798 --> 00:18:08,865 Then let's go. To Mars. 408 00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,634 Yeah, let's go! 409 00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:11,968 To Mars. 410 00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:13,103 Hmph. Hmph. 411 00:18:13,138 --> 00:18:15,205 Ladies and gentlemen, 412 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,307 mankind's first residents of Mars, 413 00:18:17,342 --> 00:18:19,376 powered by Simmer-Time Dinner Sauces. 414 00:18:19,411 --> 00:18:22,112 Dinner time is Simmer-Time. For sauce. 415 00:18:23,649 --> 00:18:25,148 They're leaving in a week? 416 00:18:25,183 --> 00:18:26,583 Mom's my only good parent. 417 00:18:26,618 --> 00:18:28,552 And Lisa's my only good kid! 418 00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:29,853 Why won't they admit 419 00:18:29,888 --> 00:18:31,421 that neither of them actually wants to go to Mars? 420 00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:33,089 I'm not giving up yet. 421 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:35,725 There's got to be a limit to their stubbornness, right? 422 00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:37,994 T-minus one minute to launch. 423 00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,730 D'oh! 424 00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:45,468 Here we go! I guess. 425 00:18:45,504 --> 00:18:46,570 Yep. 426 00:18:46,605 --> 00:18:48,572 We're doing this, apparently. 427 00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:50,574 I'm sorry I doubted you, Mom. 428 00:18:50,609 --> 00:18:53,243 There's no one I would rather go to Mars with. 429 00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:55,312 I love you, sweetie. 430 00:18:55,347 --> 00:18:56,646 I love you, too. 431 00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,716 I don't want to go! 432 00:18:59,751 --> 00:19:02,319 This is the stupidest idea we ever had! 433 00:19:02,354 --> 00:19:04,821 Abort launch! 434 00:19:04,856 --> 00:19:06,289 That's a negative. 435 00:19:06,325 --> 00:19:08,425 I think you're forgetting the motto of Blue Bronco: 436 00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:09,726 "Let's do this thing." 437 00:19:09,761 --> 00:19:10,827 Twelve... 438 00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:11,828 eleven... 439 00:19:11,863 --> 00:19:12,996 This is not happening. 440 00:19:13,031 --> 00:19:14,598 Do you know how to run the dishwasher? 441 00:19:14,633 --> 00:19:15,599 Of course not! 442 00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,100 Maybe we can use paper plates! 443 00:19:17,135 --> 00:19:18,935 Where the hell do we get those? 444 00:19:18,971 --> 00:19:20,270 Mom, no! Marge, no! 445 00:19:20,305 --> 00:19:21,504 ...three... 446 00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,673 two... one... 447 00:19:23,709 --> 00:19:25,709 Ignition! 448 00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:28,278 It's not a real rocket. 449 00:19:28,313 --> 00:19:29,779 It's the outside of a real rocket. 450 00:19:29,815 --> 00:19:31,781 We did plan to build a real rocket. 451 00:19:31,817 --> 00:19:34,050 And that's one thing they can never take away from us. 452 00:19:34,086 --> 00:19:36,152 That plan is our legacy. 453 00:19:36,188 --> 00:19:38,989 Then why did you move up the launch if you knew it was fake? 454 00:19:39,024 --> 00:19:40,857 To inspire the next generation. 455 00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:43,727 And to provide a distraction while we drove away. 456 00:19:43,762 --> 00:19:45,261 Then why are you still here? 457 00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:46,763 Our car wouldn't start. 458 00:19:49,801 --> 00:19:52,168 Mom, doesn't it frighten you 459 00:19:52,204 --> 00:19:55,138 that we almost went to Mars out of sheer stubbornness? 460 00:19:55,173 --> 00:19:58,308 That's what a mother-daughter relationship is, sweetie. 461 00:19:58,343 --> 00:20:01,511 A series of near-fatal emotional standoffs. 462 00:20:01,546 --> 00:20:03,546 Okay, but it doesn't have to be that way. 463 00:20:03,582 --> 00:20:05,382 Surely we can learn from this. 464 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:06,950 One day, we'll figure it out. 465 00:20:06,985 --> 00:20:09,285 On this planet or another. 466 00:20:15,727 --> 00:20:17,093 It's my life! 467 00:20:17,129 --> 00:20:18,662 If I want to leave Mars 468 00:20:18,697 --> 00:20:21,464 and move to Venus, you can't stop me! 469 00:20:22,668 --> 00:20:24,868 Mom's always trying to hold me back. 470 00:20:24,903 --> 00:20:26,636 I know, I know. 471 00:20:26,672 --> 00:20:28,638 I can't be her little girl forever. 472 00:20:28,674 --> 00:20:30,540 That must be really hard for you. 473 00:20:30,575 --> 00:20:31,741 It is. 474 00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:34,310 Nod-Bot is so sorry you have to go through this. 475 00:20:34,346 --> 00:20:35,712 Thank you. 476 00:20:35,747 --> 00:20:42,247 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 477 00:20:44,098 --> 00:20:45,731 Well, that's one for the win column. 478 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,470 I can't wait to find out what we're gonna do next. 479 00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:49,803 We should fix racism. 480 00:20:49,838 --> 00:20:52,105 Racism is bad for business. 481 00:20:52,141 --> 00:20:55,075 And that is racism's fatal flaw. 482 00:20:55,110 --> 00:20:56,576 I'm thinking of an app 483 00:20:56,612 --> 00:20:59,479 that would use the best algorithms in the world. 484 00:20:59,515 --> 00:21:01,155 Algorithms like that would be great 485 00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:02,849 for this idea I've been back-burnering. 486 00:21:02,885 --> 00:21:04,584 It's an ad-supported restaurant. 487 00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:07,020 You get free food, but you have to watch ads. 488 00:21:07,056 --> 00:21:08,956 If you want a hamburger, you watch five ads. 489 00:21:08,991 --> 00:21:10,157 Tater Tots are, like, three ads. 490 00:21:10,192 --> 00:21:11,825 Have you tried these things? 491 00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,527 I've heard about them, actually, I didn't actually... 492 00:21:13,562 --> 00:21:14,628 They're good. They're really good. 493 00:21:14,663 --> 00:21:16,496 I love everything you just said, 494 00:21:16,532 --> 00:21:18,565 but what if it was a barbershop? 495 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,233 Might be a good idea... 496 00:21:20,269 --> 00:21:23,570 if you're interested in changing the world! 497 00:21:24,802 --> 00:21:26,802 Shh!