1 00:00:05,564 --> 00:00:07,297 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,425 HOMER: Mmm, gravy. 3 00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:20,519 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:25,251 --> 00:00:28,085 Sorry, dear, I burnt the roast. 5 00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:30,771 Again? (sighs) 6 00:00:30,923 --> 00:00:34,349 Relax, Judy. Let Duffman help. 7 00:00:34,443 --> 00:00:36,351 (gulps) 8 00:00:36,445 --> 00:00:38,278 Ah. Forgiven. 9 00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:41,040 -Thank you, Duffman. -You're welcome, Judy. 10 00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:43,858 Hey, you can do at least one thing right. 11 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,619 (all laugh) 12 00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:49,030 ♪ Can't get enough of that wonderful Duff. ♪ 13 00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:52,700 ♪ I'd like to pour the world a beer ♪ 14 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:56,371 ♪ And party heartily ♪ 15 00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,133 ♪ We'd like to make that beer a Duff ♪ 16 00:01:00,286 --> 00:01:02,953 ♪ And drink till we can't see ♪ 17 00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:05,731 ♪ It's the beer thing. ♪ 18 00:01:10,312 --> 00:01:11,461 Yikes. 19 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,032 Let's turn this grunge to fun-ge! 20 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,970 ♪ 'Cause I'm wanted ♪ 21 00:01:19,988 --> 00:01:21,972 ♪ For fun in the first degree ♪ 22 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:23,898 ♪ Wanted. ♪ 23 00:01:23,992 --> 00:01:25,417 DUFFMAN: Ooh, yeah! Ha-ha! 24 00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:27,644 -Those were the days, huh? -(affirmative murmurs) 25 00:01:27,663 --> 00:01:29,646 Well, those days may have been the days back then, 26 00:01:29,665 --> 00:01:32,407 but these days, the days aren't those days anymore. 27 00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,985 And, gentlemen, we can't be either. 28 00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:36,320 (overlapping grumbling) 29 00:01:36,322 --> 00:01:37,504 Go ahead and harrumph, 30 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,006 but Duff needs a new message and a new messenger, 31 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,491 so get a harrumph of this. 32 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:43,844 ANNOUNCER (over TV): Attention, Duff Nation. 33 00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,938 We need you to choose our new mascot 34 00:01:46,089 --> 00:01:47,589 by voting in our first ever 35 00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:48,515 Duff Election. 36 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,757 The candidates are: 37 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,093 Hops and Barley, lady brewologists 38 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,687 who don't even know they're pretty. 39 00:01:53,839 --> 00:01:57,116 Woketopus, the most open-minded mollusk on the block. 40 00:01:57,343 --> 00:01:58,784 Dame Helen Mirren. 41 00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:00,527 I'm sorry, what is this for? 42 00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,621 ANNOUNCER: And I guess we're open to keeping Duffman. 43 00:02:02,772 --> 00:02:05,532 Vote today. Democracy needs you, 44 00:02:05,684 --> 00:02:07,126 and so do we. 45 00:02:07,353 --> 00:02:10,704 This is our moment. Duffman needs us, and so do we. 46 00:02:10,856 --> 00:02:12,189 They can't get rid of Duffman. 47 00:02:12,282 --> 00:02:14,358 What's next, tear down the Oregon Trail? 48 00:02:14,376 --> 00:02:16,135 Disintegrate the Lincoln Memorial? 49 00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,878 Impeach Santy Claus? 50 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:19,972 I got a notebook full of examples here. 51 00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:21,974 You said it. Duffman was there 52 00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:24,125 when I had my first beer at 13, 53 00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:25,627 and I want him to be there 54 00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:28,722 when I have my last beer at 54. 55 00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:32,133 Why is there a Duffman sticker on my saxophone case? 56 00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:34,394 My music teacher thinks I have a problem. 57 00:02:34,546 --> 00:02:37,305 We all have a problem. Duffman might lose. 58 00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:39,733 Everyone, everyone. The latest numbers are in. 59 00:02:39,885 --> 00:02:42,977 Aw, man, he's tied for last place with some loser named 60 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,997 (heavy accent): "No Mascot; Just Logo." 61 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:46,665 Oh, no. 62 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,910 Brandon, you're my agent. Reassure Duffman. 63 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,579 D-Man, chill. You got this in the bag. 64 00:02:52,731 --> 00:02:53,821 Hold on one second. 65 00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:57,417 Woketopus, my cephalopod from another mom bod. 66 00:02:57,569 --> 00:02:59,903 You're gonna mop the floor with that hip-thrusting has-been. 67 00:02:59,996 --> 00:03:01,421 Still me, Brandon. 68 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,848 You have a great day. 69 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:07,019 Duffman needs to remind people why they love Duffman. 70 00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,021 They love him. 71 00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:11,231 ♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪ 72 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,751 Dry T-shirts? 73 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:17,196 Not on my watch, ladies. 74 00:03:19,107 --> 00:03:21,700 -(women shouting) -Get out of here! 75 00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:24,945 That was a blatant act of tortious negligence. 76 00:03:25,097 --> 00:03:27,021 Tortious negligee. 77 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:28,782 Oh, yeah. Ooh! 78 00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:31,043 -(women shouting) -(grunting) 79 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,090 (beer sprays) 80 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,592 (women shouting) 81 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,113 Hey, hey! 82 00:03:43,131 --> 00:03:44,448 (electricity buzzes) 83 00:03:44,466 --> 00:03:46,475 (women shouting) 84 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,979 What is happening? 85 00:03:51,974 --> 00:03:53,649 (women shouting, laughing) 86 00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:58,628 Not mine. Not mine. Mine... 87 00:03:58,647 --> 00:04:00,239 No, not mine. Oh! 88 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:02,741 I do think that this is me. 89 00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:07,079 REPORTER: Hey, Duffman. Rough week, brah. 90 00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:09,063 Getting your can crushed in the polls, 91 00:04:09,157 --> 00:04:11,992 and now you're getting sued by 37 lady lawyers. 92 00:04:12,144 --> 00:04:14,661 Duffman never meant to hurt or demean 93 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,237 any dames, broads, or chicks. 94 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:18,999 Two thrusts for gender equality. 95 00:04:19,151 --> 00:04:21,167 -He's not sorry. -He thinks we're idiots. 96 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,836 Let's denounce him at the Gal Dive. 97 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,154 No, no, please, please. 98 00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:26,840 I can't be sexist because, because... 99 00:04:26,992 --> 00:04:29,935 I'm... the father of a daughter. 100 00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,271 And as the father of a daughter, 101 00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,256 I could never, ever disrespect women. 102 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:36,349 Uh-uh. 103 00:04:36,502 --> 00:04:39,278 (grunts) It seems like every famous man 104 00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:40,854 who gets himself in doo-doo 105 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,506 brings up that he has a daughter, 106 00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:45,266 and I think that's doo-doo. I do. 107 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,452 (scoffs) Father of a daughter. 108 00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:49,513 That's the lamest defense in the world, 109 00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:52,958 but these days there's no way anybody's gonna fall for it. 110 00:04:53,185 --> 00:04:54,609 He's got a daughter? 111 00:04:54,703 --> 00:04:57,203 -How bad can he be? -What a role model. 112 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,355 -What? -Oh. 113 00:04:58,373 --> 00:05:00,799 Got a photo of your little princess? 114 00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:04,044 Sure, sure, I have a picture of her... 115 00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:06,471 right here. 116 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:08,198 Wait, that's me. 117 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:10,033 Lisa is Duffman's daughter? 118 00:05:10,035 --> 00:05:12,460 (gasps) Marge, did you sleep with Duffman? 119 00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:14,204 -No. -Why not? 120 00:05:14,222 --> 00:05:15,647 He's lying. 121 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:18,542 That photo must be from one of those sleazy beer events 122 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,044 you take the kids to, even though you say you don't. 123 00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:23,380 Duffman's using me as a prop? 124 00:05:23,398 --> 00:05:26,158 You wish. His prop is a Duff chick magnet. 125 00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:28,976 There's got to be some explanation. 126 00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:32,572 The explanation is he's a jerk, and I hope he loses. 127 00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:36,059 (gasps) Lisa, you wash your mouth out with beer. 128 00:05:36,078 --> 00:05:38,820 I hope he loses, too. Beer, please. 129 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,748 Homer, you have to tell Duffman that he's not allowed to use 130 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,068 our daughter as a "get out of hot water free" card. 131 00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:46,736 Oh, can't I just talk to him 132 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,348 at the next "Duff Single Mom Twerk Olympics"? 133 00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:50,682 Now. 134 00:05:50,792 --> 00:05:53,393 I hope this is the right place. 135 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:58,598 Um, hi. My name is Homer Simpson. 136 00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:00,550 (sighs) Duffman is off the clock 137 00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:02,586 and does not have time for randos. 138 00:06:02,679 --> 00:06:04,345 -Thanks a lot. Drink Duff. -(Lisa grunts) 139 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,848 Hey, are you gonna slam the door 140 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,016 on your own daughter? 141 00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:12,687 Oh, Duffman is busted. Oh, boy. 142 00:06:12,823 --> 00:06:15,265 You're a sexist and a phony. 143 00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:17,376 How can you live with yourself? 144 00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:20,103 All right, all right, I'm sorry I fibbed. 145 00:06:20,196 --> 00:06:21,955 I panicked. I pulled up a pic 146 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,941 from Dufftoberfest from a few years ago. 147 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,552 A few years ago was the best one. 148 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,036 What? Oh. (clears throat) 149 00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:31,798 Lisa's not your Lisa. She's my Lisa, 150 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:33,207 so the next time you're in trouble, 151 00:06:33,301 --> 00:06:35,877 use a picture of some other guy's kid. 152 00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:37,229 Thanks, Dad. 153 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,441 (crying) 154 00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:43,193 Sorry, I just... 155 00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,147 Oh, no. (sobbing) 156 00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,390 Are you okay, Mr. Duffman? 157 00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:52,393 I am not. (sighs) 158 00:06:52,487 --> 00:06:54,913 The thing is, I really do have a daughter, okay? 159 00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:56,731 Her name is Amber. She's named after 160 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:58,250 my favorite beverage color, 161 00:06:58,401 --> 00:07:00,735 but now she's 30 years old, and she won't talk to me. 162 00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,236 (sobbing) 163 00:07:02,314 --> 00:07:04,238 Lisa, do you mind waiting in the car for a moment? 164 00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:07,408 Daddy needs to be strong for his famous friend. 165 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,136 Of course. 166 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,989 Can I get a selfie of me with you in your bathrobe? 167 00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:16,660 Gah, your daughter is so bright and confident. 168 00:07:16,678 --> 00:07:17,919 She is. 169 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,664 So, you must've taught her so much. 170 00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:22,348 I guess I did. 171 00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:25,685 You must be the greatest girl dad i-in the world. 172 00:07:25,762 --> 00:07:27,337 I must be! 173 00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:29,172 Maybe it's not too late for me, huh? 174 00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:31,174 Could you teach me how to be a better... 175 00:07:31,193 --> 00:07:32,842 you know, girl dad? 176 00:07:32,861 --> 00:07:36,513 -I will! -Duffman thanks you. 177 00:07:36,606 --> 00:07:38,606 And so do I. Come here. 178 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:39,975 (laughs) 179 00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,293 (phone camera clicks) 180 00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:47,949 (news theme music plays) 181 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,785 (sighs, grumbles) 182 00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:53,638 Come on, Duffman. Don't worry about losing your job. 183 00:07:53,790 --> 00:07:56,382 We need to focus on how you lost your daughter. 184 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,643 That's why I've assembled this crack team 185 00:07:58,795 --> 00:08:00,461 of daughter dads to help you out. 186 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,373 I think you'll find they're the finest men around. 187 00:08:03,466 --> 00:08:06,559 Welcome to P.F. Thong's. You boys ready to order? 188 00:08:06,712 --> 00:08:10,563 I will have the Lettuce D-Cups, um, with a chicken side piece. 189 00:08:10,716 --> 00:08:15,051 I will have the Wedgie Salad and the Baby Got Back Ribs. 190 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,812 Oh, and, uh, some Sprung Rolls for the table. 191 00:08:17,906 --> 00:08:20,332 I don't have much of an appetite. 192 00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:22,225 (chuckles) See, I, well, I haven't talked to my daughter 193 00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,151 in years, and, um... 194 00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:26,505 Say no more. I'll bring you a Dead Beet Salad 195 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,356 and a Coke Zero Contact. 196 00:08:29,735 --> 00:08:33,160 So, if your estranged daughter writes an angry book about you, 197 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,905 don't self-publish your rebuttal book. 198 00:08:35,907 --> 00:08:37,498 (groans) 199 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,743 Uh, thanks for all the advice, fellas. 200 00:08:39,761 --> 00:08:41,094 Dad-vice. 201 00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:42,762 (stammers) I-It's just, I haven't talked to Amber 202 00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:45,840 in over a decade. I-I don't even know where to begin. 203 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,934 You just got to show her you still care. 204 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,253 Pick up the damn phone. Call her. 205 00:08:50,272 --> 00:08:53,240 GROUP: Call her! Call her! Call her! 206 00:08:55,184 --> 00:08:57,610 Call her! Call her! Call her! 207 00:08:57,763 --> 00:08:59,186 I'm on the phone with her now. 208 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,207 GROUP: Ignore us. Ignore us. Ignore us. 209 00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:04,209 Amber, I was just wondering, um, 210 00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:07,120 could I maybe drive up there to see you sometime? 211 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,196 Uh, this weekend, maybe? 212 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,608 She said, "I guess." 213 00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:12,884 (others cheer) 214 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,794 No, not... (cheers) 215 00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:16,112 ...because what if I screw up? 216 00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:17,389 What if Amber hates me? I... 217 00:09:17,616 --> 00:09:19,449 I need you to come with me, please. 218 00:09:19,542 --> 00:09:22,394 A road trip with Duffman. Woo-hoo! 219 00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:24,470 You, me, and Lisa. 220 00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:28,124 Bonet? This trip just keeps getting better. 221 00:09:28,143 --> 00:09:29,383 No, no, no, your Lisa. 222 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:30,902 I need both my girl-dad guru 223 00:09:31,129 --> 00:09:33,630 and his dad-girl-daughter for inspiration. 224 00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:35,131 (both grunt excitedly) 225 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:38,151 Lisa! Lisa, you're coming with me and Duffman 226 00:09:38,303 --> 00:09:39,911 on a road trip to Glendon Falls. 227 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,154 What? (yawns) 228 00:09:41,306 --> 00:09:43,473 -Why would I want to do that? -Hmm. 229 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:46,567 Marge, why would Lisa want to go to Glendon Falls 230 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,811 with me and Duffman? 231 00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,236 (yawns, grunts) 232 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,998 Well, that's near the Agatha Christie Museum 233 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,574 of Quirky Detectives. 234 00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,743 Lisa likes Agatha Christie? 235 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,320 I love Agatha Christie, 236 00:09:57,339 --> 00:09:59,505 and that museum is gonna be amazing. 237 00:09:59,658 --> 00:10:02,659 (groans) Ooh! Ah, I can't believe you remembered. 238 00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:05,328 They're having a special exhibit this weekend 239 00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:07,939 on her ten reddest herrings. 240 00:10:08,166 --> 00:10:11,109 Thank you. You're the best dad ever. 241 00:10:11,336 --> 00:10:13,612 Aw, you don't have to thank me. 242 00:10:13,763 --> 00:10:16,531 Do it later in front of Duffman. 243 00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:22,178 Man, I can't believe I'm on a road trip with my hero. 244 00:10:22,197 --> 00:10:24,347 Wow, your little daughter's your hero? 245 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,107 That's so sweet. 246 00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:29,035 And that's exactly who I was referring to. 247 00:10:29,187 --> 00:10:31,704 Oh, hey, we should put on music that Lisa likes, huh? 248 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,706 Okay, Lisa likes jazz. 249 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,024 That's a thing I know. 250 00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:37,451 Mm, I'm not in the mood for jazz right now. 251 00:10:37,545 --> 00:10:39,712 Let's listen to my second favorite. 252 00:10:39,865 --> 00:10:41,789 Salsa? Old-school rap? 253 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:42,974 Traffic on the twos? 254 00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:44,809 I like K-pop, Dad. 255 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:47,503 Wh-- Oh, uh, of course. I knew that. 256 00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:50,798 (laughs) It's fun to pretend that you're clueless. 257 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,800 (chuckles) Beautiful. 258 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,636 ♪ We are the lovesick girls ♪ 259 00:10:55,763 --> 00:10:57,697 (singing along in Korean) 260 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,049 Oh, yeah! 261 00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:03,411 ♪ We are the lovesick girls. ♪ 262 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,482 Dad, I don't need you to do that. 263 00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,985 (laughs) They always try to be older 264 00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,671 than they are, don't they? 265 00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:14,172 Oh, man, such good fathering. 266 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:16,416 Not like... Duffman. 267 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,176 (sobbing) 268 00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:20,661 Would it help to talk about Amber? 269 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,496 (sighs heavily) 270 00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,925 She was the best thing that ever happened to me. 271 00:11:26,094 --> 00:11:28,094 But then I became Duffman, 272 00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:29,595 and, well, you know what they say, 273 00:11:29,748 --> 00:11:32,916 "With great pilsner comes great infidelity." 274 00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:35,694 Her mom left me when Amber was four. 275 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,530 And by the end of high school, Amber hated me. 276 00:11:38,757 --> 00:11:40,732 Said she never wanted to talk to me again, 277 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,033 and I guess I just believed her. 278 00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:44,260 Yes, believe women. 279 00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:47,447 No, she was a kid. She didn't mean it. 280 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,207 Yes, believe Lisa. 281 00:11:49,358 --> 00:11:51,267 I think about her every day, and I... 282 00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:53,586 I keep this drawing with me wherever I go. 283 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,773 Aw, you need to tell her all of this. 284 00:11:56,791 --> 00:12:00,051 I bet she's been waiting for you to reach out for years. 285 00:12:00,278 --> 00:12:02,779 Oh, Lisa, you are so sweet 286 00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:04,205 and so wise. 287 00:12:04,299 --> 00:12:06,632 Guh-reat job, Homer! 288 00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:08,209 Homer, Homer! 289 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,136 LISA: Guess what. 290 00:12:10,288 --> 00:12:12,138 They give you a real tea set to drop 291 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,049 when you walk in the drawing room and find a dead body. 292 00:12:15,143 --> 00:12:16,550 (phone rings) 293 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,628 Brandon, what is up? 294 00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:19,887 Seriously, like, uh, what's up? 295 00:12:19,981 --> 00:12:21,631 Not your election numbers, Duff-bro. 296 00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:22,966 They're dismal. 297 00:12:22,984 --> 00:12:25,134 Look, you're near the corporate mascot convention 298 00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,078 at the Conventions.comventions 299 00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:28,395 convention center. 300 00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:30,823 It'd be a great chance to drum up some support. 301 00:12:30,976 --> 00:12:32,475 HOMER (over headset): He'll do it, Brandon. 302 00:12:32,568 --> 00:12:34,978 Duffman cannot lose this election. 303 00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:36,662 But what about the museum? 304 00:12:36,815 --> 00:12:38,815 There's plenty of time for both. 305 00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,134 That's a proud papa pledge. 306 00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:52,662 Hey-ya, Chief, can I count on you for a... 307 00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:54,272 middle finger, okay. 308 00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:57,333 Ooh, I bet this guy's a registered Duffocrat. 309 00:12:57,426 --> 00:13:00,111 Uh-oh, he flashed a gun. My goodness. 310 00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:02,113 Anyone? Anyone want a selfie? 311 00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:04,783 We could use my phone. I can Air... 312 00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,267 Drop it to you. 313 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,786 CONVENTION WORKER: In five minutes, 314 00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:10,696 join us in Ballroom C for a panel discussion. 315 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,606 The Charlie Tuna Conundrum-- 316 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,084 When the Mascot Is the Product. 317 00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,024 Attention, everyone, 318 00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:24,193 Duffman is sitting all by himself in Hallway B. 319 00:13:24,212 --> 00:13:25,878 Please just go say hi to him. 320 00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:28,214 He really needs this. And, uh, 321 00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:29,882 don't listen to this if you're him. 322 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,535 (laughs) Oh, my God. 323 00:13:32,554 --> 00:13:34,871 Can I get your autograph... pen? 324 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,649 I got to get a signature from the Mucinex loogie. 325 00:13:37,876 --> 00:13:40,401 He is so hot. (laughs) 326 00:13:41,637 --> 00:13:43,896 Losing to a loogie. 327 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,657 (sighs) 328 00:13:45,808 --> 00:13:47,141 Dad, shouldn't we get going? 329 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:49,052 The museum closes at 5:00. 330 00:13:49,145 --> 00:13:51,812 Don't worry, sweetie, I'm keeping an eye on the time. 331 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,331 It's only 2:30. 332 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,484 (screams) That's not a real clock! 333 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:01,130 That's the mascot for Tea Time Tamales. (gasps) 334 00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:04,342 Oh, my God, no. 335 00:14:06,738 --> 00:14:08,996 LISA: Wait! Wait! 336 00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:10,740 No, don't close! 337 00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:12,241 You can't close yet. 338 00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:14,853 Mm, sorry, kid, we're shutting down for three months 339 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,596 to build a new attraction. 340 00:14:16,748 --> 00:14:18,414 LISA: Aw, nuts. 341 00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:21,359 You got to stay open. We drove all this way, 342 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,603 and I'm a second grader who solves murders 343 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,179 on a sixth-grade level. 344 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,513 Well, look who I brought. 345 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,683 I can unlock a lot of things for Duffman, 346 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,494 but not this museum. 347 00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:39,210 (growls, screams) 348 00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:41,880 Well, this calls for some expert dadding. 349 00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:44,107 Lisa, honey, tell Daddy what's wrong. 350 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,791 This is all your fault. 351 00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,610 That's right. 352 00:14:47,629 --> 00:14:49,795 -Let it out. -Okay, 353 00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:51,222 I am tired of you pretending 354 00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:54,058 that you're some sort of ideal dad when this whole trip 355 00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:57,620 you've been kissing Duffman's cans. 356 00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,956 See, I knew you wouldn't have any fun. 357 00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:02,266 That's why I didn't think you should come. Eh... 358 00:15:02,493 --> 00:15:03,401 Uh-oh. 359 00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:06,796 (gasps) You didn't even want to bring me. 360 00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:08,239 You were just using me 361 00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:11,300 as some kind of girl-dad prop, 362 00:15:11,319 --> 00:15:13,469 just like Duffman did. 363 00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:14,987 Don't ever 364 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,656 talk to me 365 00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:18,124 again. 366 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,738 She'll get over this, right? 367 00:15:24,832 --> 00:15:26,591 Mine did not. 368 00:15:26,742 --> 00:15:29,302 Oh... 369 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,745 Ready, handsome? 370 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,598 -You're leaving? -(grunts) 371 00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:36,100 Duffman just realized that you 372 00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:39,586 are not a good dad. Uh-uh. 373 00:15:39,681 --> 00:15:42,848 I'm all yours... Renata. 374 00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:43,924 Fun name. 375 00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:45,485 (rolling R): Renata. 376 00:15:47,021 --> 00:15:48,279 Oh... 377 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,769 So... 378 00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,372 what you reading there? 379 00:15:59,316 --> 00:16:01,350 Come on, you got to say something. 380 00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:02,943 Something. 381 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,446 Ooh, I can't handle the silent treatment. 382 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,206 Don't leave me alone with my brain. 383 00:16:07,358 --> 00:16:09,634 -I remember this one time... -Eyes on the road! 384 00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:11,094 -(gasps) -(tires screech) 385 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:16,215 Oh, Duffman left Amber's drawing in the car. 386 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:17,791 It's really a shame about them. 387 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:20,478 It is. (sighs) He really does love her, you know. 388 00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:23,314 Maybe, but Duffman should've spent more time listening 389 00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:27,043 to Amber instead of thinking only about himself. 390 00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:29,378 Well, maybe sometimes Duffman's scared to listen 391 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:32,657 because he'll hear about all the dumb stuff he screwed up. 392 00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:34,975 Sure, but maybe he should be brave enough 393 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,977 to admit he's not perfect. 394 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,889 Not even close to perfect. 395 00:16:39,982 --> 00:16:41,482 (groans) Oh... 396 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,650 I think we should take this to them. 397 00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:47,505 Yeah. I hope they work things out before it's too late. 398 00:16:47,732 --> 00:16:50,842 Me, too, Dad. That would be really great. 399 00:16:51,069 --> 00:16:53,261 (tires screech) 400 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,165 Good luck, buddy. I'm rooting for you. 401 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,167 Thank you, Evan, and good luck 402 00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,395 with your MFA. Oh, yeah. 403 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,695 Okay, here we go. Time to prove to your daughter 404 00:17:10,846 --> 00:17:12,421 that you've changed. 405 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,439 Ah. Damn. 406 00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:14,699 MAN: A little help, bro? 407 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,868 Dude, it's Duffman. 408 00:17:17,019 --> 00:17:18,703 Join our rager! 409 00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:20,429 Oh, yeah. 410 00:17:20,448 --> 00:17:23,041 I mean, no, no. Not who I am anymore. 411 00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,785 (inhales, exhales) 412 00:17:25,937 --> 00:17:27,937 -(knock on door) -Okay. (sighs) 413 00:17:28,030 --> 00:17:29,789 (breathes deeply) 414 00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:32,032 I can't believe you're here 415 00:17:32,126 --> 00:17:34,293 because I don't know you, and I did not invite you. 416 00:17:34,445 --> 00:17:36,888 Oh, what an odd thing to say. 417 00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:39,282 Hi, I'm Homer, and this is Lisa. 418 00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,133 We have something to give to your dad. 419 00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:43,043 Yeah, well, I can't help you. 420 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,637 (sighs) He never showed. 421 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,214 (gasps) I don't get it. 422 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,475 If I know Duffman, and I briefly did, 423 00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:52,386 nothing was more important to him than seeing you. 424 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,813 He was so excited. 425 00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:57,483 Really? As excited as he was to miss every dance recital, 426 00:17:57,635 --> 00:18:00,653 every graduation, every art show? 427 00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,471 No. More. 428 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,248 Your dad taught me the importance 429 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,826 of not taking my daughter's love for granted. 430 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,586 Duffman's really changed. 431 00:18:08,737 --> 00:18:10,313 Trust me, when you see him next, 432 00:18:10,373 --> 00:18:12,739 you'll be amazed at how enlightened 433 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:15,075 and sensitive he's become. 434 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,320 DUFFMAN: Chicken fight! 435 00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:18,930 ♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪ 436 00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:20,747 Come on, friend! 437 00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:23,250 -(laughs) -What the crap? 438 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,419 No, Amber, I was just about to knock on your door. 439 00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:26,512 You have to believe me. 440 00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:28,998 It's true. This whole chicken fight, 441 00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:30,608 it felt like he was somewhere else. 442 00:18:30,835 --> 00:18:33,778 I'm sorry, Colleen, but if this teaches you anything, 443 00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:36,948 it's that you should work on your relationship with your dad. 444 00:18:37,175 --> 00:18:39,692 (scoffs) I have a great relationship with my dad. 445 00:18:39,844 --> 00:18:42,695 I just also like bikinis and parties, you jerk. 446 00:18:42,771 --> 00:18:44,288 Duffman respects your journey. 447 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,374 Amber? Amber! 448 00:18:47,852 --> 00:18:49,518 Amber! 449 00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:50,795 Ah, Amber... 450 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,113 Hey, uh, pal-- Whoa, that's Duffman! 451 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,616 Amber, look out! 452 00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:57,552 (gasps) 453 00:19:01,549 --> 00:19:03,474 You saved me... 454 00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:05,226 Dad. 455 00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,982 So, the chick magnet is also a daughter magnet, 456 00:19:11,133 --> 00:19:12,483 I get it now. 457 00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:15,302 All chicks are somebody's daughter. 458 00:19:15,396 --> 00:19:18,230 -No. Uh-uh. -Yeah, try again. 459 00:19:18,383 --> 00:19:20,658 Some chicks are guys, and that's okay. 460 00:19:20,809 --> 00:19:22,067 Mm... Mm-mm. 461 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,053 -Hmm. -It-It's okay, Dad. 462 00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:26,238 B-Baby steps, I guess. 463 00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:29,158 (loud whisper): Give her this now. 464 00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,336 No way. I haven't seen this in ages. 465 00:19:32,413 --> 00:19:34,246 I look at it every single day. 466 00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:37,991 I miss you so much, and I should've been there for you. 467 00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:41,012 (scoffs) Dad, I'm so glad you're back in my life, 468 00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,088 -and I really hope that... -(phone rings) 469 00:19:43,165 --> 00:19:44,831 Ugh, seriously? 470 00:19:44,926 --> 00:19:46,742 Duffman, amazing news. 471 00:19:46,761 --> 00:19:48,853 -You won the election. -Oh, yeah? 472 00:19:49,004 --> 00:19:50,170 Oh, yeah. 473 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,097 Some kid posted video of you singing K-pop, 474 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,917 and their fan army voted for you en freakin' masse. 475 00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,419 I need you on the next plane to Korea. 476 00:19:56,437 --> 00:19:59,438 Kim Jong-un wants to kidnap you and make a movie together. 477 00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:00,940 Oh, yeah! 478 00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:02,533 (Amber groans) 479 00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:05,945 Aw, you know what? I think I have had enough 480 00:20:06,097 --> 00:20:07,521 of that wonderful Duff. 481 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,449 What? You'll never work in the adult beverage game again. 482 00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:14,337 No beer, no hard seltzer, no kombucha. 483 00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:17,331 Duff Nation, Duffman is here 484 00:20:17,442 --> 00:20:20,276 to get you wrecked in a whole new way as... 485 00:20:20,369 --> 00:20:22,611 Puffman. 486 00:20:22,705 --> 00:20:25,281 Come check out my daughter's brand-new weed store 487 00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,708 featuring her custom-made, one of a kind, 488 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,393 glass bongs. 489 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:30,728 (inhales) 490 00:20:30,955 --> 00:20:33,789 Oh, yeah. If any of my other estranged daughters 491 00:20:33,808 --> 00:20:35,716 are watching, hit me up. 492 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,309 Wait, your what? 493 00:20:37,462 --> 00:20:38,978 DUFFMAN: I mean-- Oh, yeah! 494 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,296 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 495 00:20:40,314 --> 00:20:41,555 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 496 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,132 and TOYOTA. 497 00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:44,575 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 498 00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:51,916 Your tea service, Lord Thistlewink. (screams) 499 00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:54,252 ♪ ♪ 500 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,157 ♪ ♪ 501 00:21:30,606 --> 00:21:32,581 Shh!