1 00:00:05,477 --> 00:00:07,281 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:18,436 HOMER: Mmm, gravy. 3 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,542 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:25,083 --> 00:00:28,056 Sorry, dear, I burnt the roast. 5 00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:30,795 Again? (sighs) 6 00:00:30,795 --> 00:00:34,335 Relax, Judy. Let Duffman help. 7 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,339 (gulps) 8 00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:38,276 Ah. Forgiven. 9 00:00:38,276 --> 00:00:41,049 - Thank you, Duffman. - You're welcome, Judy. 10 00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:43,854 Hey, you can do at least one thing right. 11 00:00:43,854 --> 00:00:45,525 (all laugh) 12 00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:49,031 ♪ Can't get enough of that wonderful Duff. ♪ 13 00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:52,706 ♪ I'd like to pour the world a beer ♪ 14 00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:56,379 ♪ And party heartily ♪ 15 00:00:56,379 --> 00:01:00,187 ♪ We'd like to make that beer a Duff ♪ 16 00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:02,959 ♪ And drink till we can't see ♪ 17 00:01:03,059 --> 00:01:05,798 ♪ It's the beer thing. ♪ 18 00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,442 Yikes. 19 00:01:11,442 --> 00:01:15,117 Let's turn this grunge to fun-ge! 20 00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:19,960 ♪ 'Cause I'm wanted ♪ 21 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,964 ♪ For fun in the first degree ♪ 22 00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:23,935 ♪ Wanted. ♪ 23 00:01:24,035 --> 00:01:25,538 DUFFMAN: Ooh, yeah! Ha-ha! 24 00:01:25,538 --> 00:01:27,642 - Those were the days, huh? - (affirmative murmurs) 25 00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:29,680 Well, those days may have been the days back then, 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,484 but these days, the days aren't those days anymore. 27 00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:35,023 And, gentlemen, we can't be either. 28 00:01:35,023 --> 00:01:36,359 (overlapping grumbling) 29 00:01:36,359 --> 00:01:37,595 Go ahead and harrumph, 30 00:01:37,696 --> 00:01:40,100 but Duff needs a new message and a new messenger, 31 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,537 so get a harrumph of this. 32 00:01:41,537 --> 00:01:43,941 ANNOUNCER (over TV): Attention, Duff Nation. 33 00:01:43,941 --> 00:01:46,045 We need you to choose our new mascot 34 00:01:46,045 --> 00:01:47,649 by voting in our first ever 35 00:01:47,749 --> 00:01:48,851 Duff Election. 36 00:01:48,951 --> 00:01:49,820 The candidates are: 37 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,157 Hops and Barley, lady brewologists 38 00:01:52,157 --> 00:01:53,794 who don't even know they're pretty. 39 00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:57,267 Woketopus, the most open-minded mollusk on the block. 40 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,904 Dame Helen Mirren. 41 00:01:58,904 --> 00:02:00,642 I'm sorry, what is this for? 42 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,779 ANNOUNCER: And I guess we're open to keeping Duffman. 43 00:02:02,779 --> 00:02:05,652 Vote today. Democracy needs you, 44 00:02:05,652 --> 00:02:07,254 and so do we. 45 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:10,828 This is our moment. Duffman needs us, and so do we. 46 00:02:10,828 --> 00:02:12,264 They can't get rid of Duffman. 47 00:02:12,364 --> 00:02:14,435 What's next, tear down the Oregon Trail? 48 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,272 Disintegrate the Lincoln Memorial? 49 00:02:16,372 --> 00:02:17,976 Impeach Santy Claus? 50 00:02:17,976 --> 00:02:19,980 I got a notebook full of examples here. 51 00:02:19,980 --> 00:02:22,151 You said it. Duffman was there 52 00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,188 when I had my first beer at 13, 53 00:02:24,188 --> 00:02:25,725 and I want him to be there 54 00:02:25,858 --> 00:02:28,597 when I have my last beer at 54. 55 00:02:28,597 --> 00:02:32,137 Why is there a Duffman sticker on my saxophone case? 56 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:34,543 My music teacher thinks I have a problem. 57 00:02:34,543 --> 00:02:37,414 We all have a problem. Duffman might lose. 58 00:02:37,515 --> 00:02:39,886 Everyone, everyone. The latest numbers are in. 59 00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:43,093 Aw, man, he's tied for last place with some loser named 60 00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:45,197 (heavy accent): "No Mascot; Just Logo." 61 00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:46,867 Oh, no. 62 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:50,073 Brandon, you're my agent. Reassure Duffman. 63 00:02:50,173 --> 00:02:52,612 D-Man, chill. You got this in the bag. 64 00:02:52,612 --> 00:02:53,781 Hold on one second. 65 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:57,321 Woketopus, my cephalopod from another mom bod. 66 00:02:57,321 --> 00:03:00,027 You're gonna mop the floor with that hip-thrusting has-been. 67 00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,597 Still me, Brandon. 68 00:03:01,697 --> 00:03:03,266 You have a great day. 69 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,241 Duffman needs to remind people why they love Duffman. 70 00:03:07,241 --> 00:03:09,178 They love him. 71 00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:11,449 ♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪ 72 00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:14,890 Dry T-shirts? 73 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,428 Not on my watch, ladies. 74 00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,737 - (women shouting) - Get out of here! 75 00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:25,077 That was a blatant act of tortious negligence. 76 00:03:25,077 --> 00:03:27,181 Tortious negligee. 77 00:03:27,314 --> 00:03:28,951 Oh, yeah. Ooh! 78 00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:31,255 - (women shouting) - (grunting) 79 00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,301 (beer sprays) 80 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,838 (women shouting) 81 00:03:41,810 --> 00:03:43,246 Hey, hey! 82 00:03:43,246 --> 00:03:44,616 (electricity buzzes) 83 00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:46,720 (women shouting) 84 00:03:47,956 --> 00:03:51,229 What is happening? 85 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:53,901 (women shouting, laughing) 86 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:58,778 Not mine. Not mine. Mine... 87 00:03:58,778 --> 00:04:00,480 No, not mine. Oh! 88 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,986 I do think that this is me. 89 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:07,361 REPORTER: Hey, Duffman. Rough week, brah. 90 00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:09,265 Getting your can crushed in the polls, 91 00:04:09,365 --> 00:04:12,237 and now you're getting sued by 37 lady lawyers. 92 00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:14,810 Duffman never meant to hurt or demean 93 00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:16,446 any dames, broads, or chicks. 94 00:04:16,446 --> 00:04:19,084 Two thrusts for gender equality. 95 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,422 - He's not sorry. - He thinks we're idiots. 96 00:04:21,422 --> 00:04:23,126 Let's denounce him at the Gal Dive. 97 00:04:23,226 --> 00:04:24,328 No, no, please, please. 98 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:27,000 I can't be sexist because, because... 99 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,240 I'm... the father of a daughter. 100 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,545 And as the father of a daughter, 101 00:04:32,645 --> 00:04:35,685 I could never, ever disrespect women. 102 00:04:35,785 --> 00:04:36,620 Uh-uh. 103 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,593 (grunts) It seems like every famous man 104 00:04:39,593 --> 00:04:41,129 who gets himself in doo-doo 105 00:04:41,229 --> 00:04:42,699 brings up that he has a daughter, 106 00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,538 and I think that's doo-doo. I do. 107 00:04:45,638 --> 00:04:47,609 (scoffs) Father of a daughter. 108 00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:49,713 That's the lamest defense in the world, 109 00:04:49,713 --> 00:04:53,286 but these days there's no way anybody's gonna fall for it. 110 00:04:53,386 --> 00:04:54,890 He's got a daughter? 111 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,629 - How bad can he be? - What a role model. 112 00:04:57,729 --> 00:04:58,597 - What? - Oh. 113 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:01,135 Got a photo of your little princess? 114 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:04,308 Sure, sure, I have a picture of her... 115 00:05:04,308 --> 00:05:06,780 right here. 116 00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,416 Wait, that's me. 117 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:10,253 Lisa is Duffman's daughter? 118 00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:12,725 (gasps) Marge, did you sleep with Duffman? 119 00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:14,596 - No. - Why not? 120 00:05:14,596 --> 00:05:15,932 He's lying. 121 00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,771 That photo must be from one of those sleazy beer events 122 00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:21,309 you take the kids to, even though you say you don't. 123 00:05:21,409 --> 00:05:23,647 Duffman's using me as a prop? 124 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:26,520 You wish. His prop is a Duff chick magnet. 125 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,024 There's got to be some explanation. 126 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:32,765 The explanation is he's a jerk, and I hope he loses. 127 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:36,305 (gasps) Lisa, you wash your mouth out with beer. 128 00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:39,111 I hope he loses, too. Beer, please. 129 00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:42,050 Homer, you have to tell Duffman that he's not allowed to use 130 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,323 our daughter as a "get out of hot water free" card. 131 00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:46,994 Oh, can't I just talk to him 132 00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:49,733 at the next "Duff Single Mom Twerk Olympics"? 133 00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:51,035 Now. 134 00:05:51,035 --> 00:05:53,774 I hope this is the right place. 135 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:58,951 Um, hi. My name is Homer Simpson. 136 00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,821 (sighs) Duffman is off the clock 137 00:06:00,821 --> 00:06:02,892 and does not have time for randos. 138 00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:04,696 - Thanks a lot. Drink Duff. - (Lisa grunts) 139 00:06:04,696 --> 00:06:07,167 Hey, are you gonna slam the door 140 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:09,271 on your own daughter? 141 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:13,046 Oh, Duffman is busted. Oh, boy. 142 00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:15,551 You're a sexist and a phony. 143 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:17,655 How can you live with yourself? 144 00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:20,393 All right, all right, I'm sorry I fibbed. 145 00:06:20,493 --> 00:06:22,264 I panicked. I pulled up a pic 146 00:06:22,364 --> 00:06:25,237 from Dufftoberfest from a few years ago. 147 00:06:25,237 --> 00:06:27,976 A few years ago was the best one. 148 00:06:28,109 --> 00:06:29,378 What? Oh. (clears throat) 149 00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:32,184 Lisa's not your Lisa. She's my Lisa, 150 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,587 so the next time you're in trouble, 151 00:06:33,587 --> 00:06:36,259 use a picture of some other guy's kid. 152 00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:37,695 Thanks, Dad. 153 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,803 (crying) 154 00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:43,607 Sorry, I just... 155 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:47,515 Oh, no. (sobbing) 156 00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:49,753 Are you okay, Mr. Duffman? 157 00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:52,759 I am not. (sighs) 158 00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:55,330 The thing is, I really do have a daughter, okay? 159 00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,134 Her name is Amber. She's named after 160 00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:58,604 my favorite beverage color, 161 00:06:58,604 --> 00:07:01,108 but now she's 30 years old, and she won't talk to me. 162 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:02,545 (sobbing) 163 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:04,616 Lisa, do you mind waiting in the car for a moment? 164 00:07:04,616 --> 00:07:07,822 Daddy needs to be strong for his famous friend. 165 00:07:07,822 --> 00:07:09,592 Of course. 166 00:07:10,828 --> 00:07:13,366 Can I get a selfie of me with you in your bathrobe? 167 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:17,007 Gah, your daughter is so bright and confident. 168 00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,309 She is. 169 00:07:18,309 --> 00:07:21,015 So, you must've taught her so much. 170 00:07:21,015 --> 00:07:22,752 I guess I did. 171 00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:26,092 You must be the greatest girl dad i-in the world. 172 00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:27,528 I must be! 173 00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:29,532 Maybe it's not too late for me, huh? 174 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,536 Could you teach me how to be a better... 175 00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:33,239 you know, girl dad? 176 00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:36,913 - I will! - Duffman thanks you. 177 00:07:37,014 --> 00:07:39,051 And so do I. Come here. 178 00:07:39,151 --> 00:07:40,387 (laughs) 179 00:07:40,387 --> 00:07:41,790 (phone camera clicks) 180 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,369 (news theme music plays) 181 00:07:48,369 --> 00:07:51,208 (sighs, grumbles) 182 00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:54,114 Come on, Duffman. Don't worry about losing your job. 183 00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:56,653 We need to focus on how you lost your daughter. 184 00:07:56,753 --> 00:07:59,124 That's why I've assembled this crack team 185 00:07:59,124 --> 00:08:00,695 of daughter dads to help you out. 186 00:08:00,695 --> 00:08:03,767 I think you'll find they're the finest men around. 187 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:07,040 Welcome to P. F. Thong's. You boys ready to order? 188 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:11,048 I will have the Lettuce D-Cups, um, with a chicken side piece. 189 00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:15,490 I will have the Wedgie Salad and the Baby Got Back Ribs. 190 00:08:15,591 --> 00:08:18,296 Oh, and, uh, some Sprung Rolls for the table. 191 00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:20,768 I don't have much of an appetite. 192 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,638 (chuckles) See, I, well, I haven't talked to my daughter 193 00:08:22,638 --> 00:08:24,576 in years, and, um... 194 00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:27,047 Say no more. I'll bring you a Dead Beet Salad 195 00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,851 and a Coke Zero Contact. 196 00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:33,459 So, if your estranged daughter writes an angry book about you, 197 00:08:33,459 --> 00:08:36,332 don't self-publish your rebuttal book. 198 00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:37,969 (groans) 199 00:08:37,969 --> 00:08:40,173 Uh, thanks for all the advice, fellas. 200 00:08:40,173 --> 00:08:41,475 Dad-vice. 201 00:08:41,475 --> 00:08:43,279 (stammers) I-It's just, I haven't talked to Amber 202 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:46,318 in over a decade. I-I don't even know where to begin. 203 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:48,489 You just got to show her you still care. 204 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,728 Pick up the damn phone. Call her. 205 00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:53,801 GROUP: 206 00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:58,142 Call her! Call her! Call her! 207 00:08:58,142 --> 00:08:59,679 I'm on the phone with her now. 208 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,785 GROUP: Ignore us. Ignore us. Ignore us. 209 00:09:02,885 --> 00:09:04,789 Amber, I was just wondering, um, 210 00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:07,662 could I maybe drive up there to see you sometime? 211 00:09:07,762 --> 00:09:09,699 Uh, this weekend, maybe? 212 00:09:09,699 --> 00:09:12,104 She said, "I guess." 213 00:09:12,104 --> 00:09:13,473 (others cheer) 214 00:09:13,473 --> 00:09:15,343 No, not... (cheers) 215 00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:16,613 ...because what if I screw up? 216 00:09:16,613 --> 00:09:17,949 What if Amber hates me? I... 217 00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:19,953 I need you to come with me, please. 218 00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:22,992 A road trip with Duffman. Woo-hoo! 219 00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:25,029 You, me, and Lisa. 220 00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:28,604 Bonet? This trip just keeps getting better. 221 00:09:28,604 --> 00:09:29,906 No, no, no, your Lisa. 222 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:31,475 I need both my girl-dad guru 223 00:09:31,576 --> 00:09:34,148 and his dad-girl-daughter for inspiration. 224 00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:35,618 (both grunt excitedly) 225 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,624 Lisa! Lisa, you're coming with me and Duffman 226 00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:40,528 on a road trip to Glendon Falls. 227 00:09:40,528 --> 00:09:41,730 What? (yawns) 228 00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,001 - Why would I want to do that? - Hmm. 229 00:09:44,101 --> 00:09:47,007 Marge, why would Lisa want to go to Glendon Falls 230 00:09:47,007 --> 00:09:48,342 with me and Duffman? 231 00:09:48,443 --> 00:09:49,779 (yawns, grunts) 232 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:52,585 Well, that's near the Agatha Christie Museum 233 00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,154 of Quirky Detectives. 234 00:09:54,154 --> 00:09:56,325 Lisa likes Agatha Christie? 235 00:09:56,325 --> 00:09:57,862 I love Agatha Christie, 236 00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:00,099 and that museum is gonna be amazing. 237 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:03,106 (groans) Ooh! Ah, I can't believe you remembered. 238 00:10:03,106 --> 00:10:05,845 They're having a special exhibit this weekend 239 00:10:05,945 --> 00:10:08,550 on her ten reddest herrings. 240 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,623 Thank you. You're the best dad ever. 241 00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:14,228 Aw, you don't have to thank me. 242 00:10:14,228 --> 00:10:17,167 Do it later in front of Duffman. 243 00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:22,745 Man, I can't believe I'm on a road trip with my hero. 244 00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:24,916 Wow, your little daughter's your hero? 245 00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:26,686 That's so sweet. 246 00:10:26,686 --> 00:10:29,659 And that's exactly who I was referring to. 247 00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:32,364 Oh, hey, we should put on music that Lisa likes, huh? 248 00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,368 Okay, Lisa likes jazz. 249 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,571 That's a thing I know. 250 00:10:35,571 --> 00:10:38,042 Mm, I'm not in the mood for jazz right now. 251 00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,213 Let's listen to my second favorite. 252 00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:42,384 Salsa? Old-school rap? 253 00:10:42,384 --> 00:10:43,654 Traffic on the twos? 254 00:10:43,754 --> 00:10:45,456 I like K-pop, Dad. 255 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:48,062 Wh-- Oh, uh, of course. I knew that. 256 00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:51,402 (laughs) It's fun to pretend that you're clueless. 257 00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:53,406 (chuckles) Beautiful. 258 00:10:53,406 --> 00:10:56,245 ♪ We are the lovesick girls ♪ 259 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:58,349 (singing along in Korean) 260 00:10:59,552 --> 00:11:00,588 Oh, yeah! 261 00:11:00,588 --> 00:11:04,094 ♪ We are the lovesick girls. ♪ 262 00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:09,004 Dad, I don't need you to do that. 263 00:11:09,137 --> 00:11:11,610 (laughs) They always try to be older 264 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,279 than they are, don't they? 265 00:11:13,379 --> 00:11:14,849 Oh, man, such good fathering. 266 00:11:14,849 --> 00:11:16,987 Not like... Duffman. 267 00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:18,891 (sobbing) 268 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:21,262 Would it help to talk about Amber? 269 00:11:21,262 --> 00:11:23,366 (sighs heavily) 270 00:11:24,301 --> 00:11:26,640 She was the best thing that ever happened to me. 271 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,777 But then I became Duffman, 272 00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:30,280 and, well, you know what they say, 273 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,486 "With great pilsner comes great infidelity." 274 00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:36,392 Her mom left me when Amber was four. 275 00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:39,264 And by the end of high school, Amber hated me. 276 00:11:39,364 --> 00:11:41,435 Said she never wanted to talk to me again, 277 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:42,738 and I guess I just believed her. 278 00:11:42,738 --> 00:11:44,876 Yes, believe women. 279 00:11:44,876 --> 00:11:48,149 No, she was a kid. She didn't mean it. 280 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,852 Yes, believe Lisa. 281 00:11:49,852 --> 00:11:51,890 I think about her every day, and I... 282 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:54,294 I keep this drawing with me wherever I go. 283 00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:57,400 Aw, you need to tell her all of this. 284 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,808 I bet she's been waiting for you to reach out for years. 285 00:12:00,908 --> 00:12:03,446 Oh, Lisa, you are so sweet 286 00:12:03,547 --> 00:12:04,882 and so wise. 287 00:12:04,983 --> 00:12:07,354 Guh-reat job, Homer! 288 00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:08,924 Homer, Homer! 289 00:12:08,924 --> 00:12:10,728 LISA: Guess what. 290 00:12:10,728 --> 00:12:12,898 They give you a real tea set to drop 291 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,738 when you walk in the drawing room and find a dead body. 292 00:12:15,838 --> 00:12:17,240 (phone rings) 293 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,278 Brandon, what is up? 294 00:12:19,378 --> 00:12:20,581 Seriously, like, uh, what's up? 295 00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:22,284 Not your election numbers, Duff-bro. 296 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:23,386 They're dismal. 297 00:12:23,386 --> 00:12:25,791 Look, you're near the corporate mascot convention 298 00:12:25,791 --> 00:12:27,862 at the Conventions.comventions 299 00:12:27,962 --> 00:12:29,097 convention center. 300 00:12:29,197 --> 00:12:31,368 It'd be a great chance to drum up some support. 301 00:12:31,368 --> 00:12:33,139 HOMER (over headset): He'll do it, Brandon. 302 00:12:33,239 --> 00:12:35,644 Duffman cannot lose this election. 303 00:12:35,644 --> 00:12:37,414 But what about the museum? 304 00:12:37,414 --> 00:12:39,451 There's plenty of time for both. 305 00:12:39,451 --> 00:12:41,923 That's a proud papa pledge. 306 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,346 Hey-ya, Chief, can I count on you for a... 307 00:12:53,446 --> 00:12:55,049 middle finger, okay. 308 00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:58,022 Ooh, I bet this guy's a registered Duffocrat. 309 00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,894 Uh-oh, he flashed a gun. My goodness. 310 00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,898 Anyone? Anyone want a selfie? 311 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,604 We could use my phone. I can Air... 312 00:13:05,604 --> 00:13:07,007 Drop it to you. 313 00:13:07,007 --> 00:13:08,376 CONVENTION WORKER: In five minutes, 314 00:13:08,376 --> 00:13:11,516 join us in Ballroom C for a panel discussion. 315 00:13:11,516 --> 00:13:13,386 The Charlie Tuna Conundrum-- 316 00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:15,891 When the Mascot Is the Product. 317 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,770 Attention, everyone, 318 00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,909 Duffman is sitting all by himself in Hallway B. 319 00:13:24,909 --> 00:13:26,680 Please just go say hi to him. 320 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,984 He really needs this. And, uh, 321 00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,688 don't listen to this if you're him. 322 00:13:30,788 --> 00:13:33,259 (laughs) Oh, my God. 323 00:13:33,259 --> 00:13:35,631 Can I get your autograph... pen? 324 00:13:35,764 --> 00:13:38,503 I got to get a signature from the Mucinex loogie. 325 00:13:38,603 --> 00:13:41,241 He is so hot. (laughs) 326 00:13:42,410 --> 00:13:44,716 Losing to a loogie. 327 00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:46,519 (sighs) 328 00:13:46,519 --> 00:13:47,955 Dad, shouldn't we get going? 329 00:13:48,055 --> 00:13:49,826 The museum closes at 5:00. 330 00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:52,631 Don't worry, sweetie, I'm keeping an eye on the time. 331 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,167 It's only 2:30. 332 00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,275 (screams) That's not a real clock! 333 00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:01,950 That's the mascot for Tea Time Tamales. (gasps) 334 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,189 Oh, my God, no. 335 00:14:07,494 --> 00:14:09,799 LISA: Wait! Wait! 336 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,503 No, don't close! 337 00:14:11,503 --> 00:14:13,039 You can't close yet. 338 00:14:13,039 --> 00:14:15,744 Mm, sorry, kid, we're shutting down for three months 339 00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:17,380 to build a new attraction. 340 00:14:17,380 --> 00:14:19,184 LISA: Aw, nuts. 341 00:14:19,184 --> 00:14:22,057 You got to stay open. We drove all this way, 342 00:14:22,057 --> 00:14:24,494 and I'm a second grader who solves murders 343 00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:25,898 on a sixth-grade level. 344 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,367 Well, look who I brought. 345 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,507 I can unlock a lot of things for Duffman, 346 00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:32,343 but not this museum. 347 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:40,093 (growls, screams) 348 00:14:40,093 --> 00:14:42,798 Well, this calls for some expert dadding. 349 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,936 Lisa, honey, tell Daddy what's wrong. 350 00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:46,673 This is all your fault. 351 00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:48,409 That's right. 352 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,681 - Let it out. - Okay, 353 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,150 I am tired of you pretending 354 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,922 that you're some sort of ideal dad when this whole trip 355 00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:58,395 you've been kissing Duffman's cans. 356 00:14:58,496 --> 00:15:00,801 See, I knew you wouldn't have any fun. 357 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,339 That's why I didn't think you should come. Eh... 358 00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:04,341 Uh-oh. 359 00:15:04,441 --> 00:15:07,615 (gasps) You didn't even want to bring me. 360 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,151 You were just using me 361 00:15:09,251 --> 00:15:12,123 as some kind of girl-dad prop, 362 00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:14,294 just like Duffman did. 363 00:15:14,294 --> 00:15:15,898 Don't ever 364 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,568 talk to me 365 00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,070 again. 366 00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,617 She'll get over this, right? 367 00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,555 Mine did not. 368 00:15:27,555 --> 00:15:30,259 Oh... 369 00:15:31,529 --> 00:15:32,631 Ready, handsome? 370 00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,569 - You're leaving? - (grunts) 371 00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:37,040 Duffman just realized that you 372 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:40,480 are not a good dad. Uh-uh. 373 00:15:40,581 --> 00:15:43,753 I'm all yours... Renata. 374 00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:44,822 Fun name. 375 00:15:44,922 --> 00:15:46,425 (rolling R): Renata. 376 00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,231 Oh... 377 00:15:55,243 --> 00:15:56,646 So... 378 00:15:56,646 --> 00:15:58,349 what you reading there? 379 00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:02,257 Come on, you got to say something. 380 00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:03,894 Something. 381 00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:06,365 Ooh, I can't handle the silent treatment. 382 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,169 Don't leave me alone with my brain. 383 00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:10,641 - I remember this one time... - Eyes on the road! 384 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,076 - (gasps) - (tires screech) 385 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:17,053 Oh, Duffman left Amber's drawing in the car. 386 00:16:17,053 --> 00:16:18,723 It's really a shame about them. 387 00:16:18,723 --> 00:16:21,328 It is. (sighs) He really does love her, you know. 388 00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:24,301 Maybe, but Duffman should've spent more time listening 389 00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:27,942 to Amber instead of thinking only about himself. 390 00:16:27,942 --> 00:16:30,279 Well, maybe sometimes Duffman's scared to listen 391 00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:33,520 because he'll hear about all the dumb stuff he screwed up. 392 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,924 Sure, but maybe he should be brave enough 393 00:16:35,924 --> 00:16:37,928 to admit he's not perfect. 394 00:16:37,928 --> 00:16:40,834 Not even close to perfect. 395 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,470 (groans) Oh... 396 00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:44,609 I think we should take this to them. 397 00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:48,517 Yeah. I hope they work things out before it's too late. 398 00:16:48,617 --> 00:16:51,890 Me, too, Dad. That would be really great. 399 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,294 (tires screech) 400 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,137 Good luck, buddy. I'm rooting for you. 401 00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:01,141 Thank you, Evan, and good luck 402 00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:03,412 with your MFA. Oh, yeah. 403 00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:11,763 Okay, here we go. Time to prove to your daughter 404 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,399 that you've changed. 405 00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,367 Ah. Damn. 406 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,737 MAN: A little help, bro? 407 00:17:15,737 --> 00:17:17,908 Dude, it's Duffman. 408 00:17:17,908 --> 00:17:19,745 Join our rager! 409 00:17:19,745 --> 00:17:21,381 Oh, yeah. 410 00:17:21,381 --> 00:17:24,087 I mean, no, no. Not who I am anymore. 411 00:17:25,022 --> 00:17:26,726 (inhales, exhales) 412 00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:28,897 - (knock on door) - Okay. (sighs) 413 00:17:28,997 --> 00:17:30,734 (breathes deeply) 414 00:17:30,734 --> 00:17:33,038 I can't believe you're here 415 00:17:33,138 --> 00:17:35,343 because I don't know you, and I did not invite you. 416 00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:37,982 Oh, what an odd thing to say. 417 00:17:37,982 --> 00:17:40,286 Hi, I'm Homer, and this is Lisa. 418 00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:42,190 We have something to give to your dad. 419 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:44,060 Yeah, well, I can't help you. 420 00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,731 (sighs) He never showed. 421 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,269 (gasps) I don't get it. 422 00:17:48,269 --> 00:17:50,540 If I know Duffman, and I briefly did, 423 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:53,713 nothing was more important to him than seeing you. 424 00:17:53,713 --> 00:17:54,882 He was so excited. 425 00:17:54,982 --> 00:17:58,523 Really? As excited as he was to miss every dance recital, 426 00:17:58,523 --> 00:18:01,729 every graduation, every art show? 427 00:18:01,729 --> 00:18:03,432 No. More. 428 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:05,336 Your dad taught me the importance 429 00:18:05,336 --> 00:18:07,908 of not taking my daughter's love for granted. 430 00:18:08,008 --> 00:18:09,712 Duffman's really changed. 431 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,348 Trust me, when you see him next, 432 00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:13,820 you'll be amazed at how enlightened 433 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,058 and sensitive he's become. 434 00:18:16,058 --> 00:18:18,329 DUFFMAN: Chicken fight! 435 00:18:18,329 --> 00:18:20,066 ♪ Doo, bow, bow... ♪ 436 00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:21,836 Come on, friend! 437 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,174 - (laughs) - What the crap? 438 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,546 No, Amber, I was just about to knock on your door. 439 00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:27,615 You have to believe me. 440 00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,019 It's true. This whole chicken fight, 441 00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:31,756 it felt like he was somewhere else. 442 00:18:31,856 --> 00:18:34,929 I'm sorry, Colleen, but if this teaches you anything, 443 00:18:34,929 --> 00:18:38,102 it's that you should work on your relationship with your dad. 444 00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:40,674 (scoffs) I have a great relationship with my dad. 445 00:18:40,674 --> 00:18:43,813 I just also like bikinis and parties, you jerk. 446 00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:45,449 Duffman respects your journey. 447 00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:47,521 Amber? Amber! 448 00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:50,594 Amber! 449 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:51,996 Ah, Amber... 450 00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:54,234 Hey, uh, pal-- Whoa, that's Duffman! 451 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,673 Amber, look out! 452 00:18:56,773 --> 00:18:58,677 (gasps) 453 00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:04,655 You saved me... 454 00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:06,358 Dad. 455 00:19:09,397 --> 00:19:12,170 So, the chick magnet is also a daughter magnet, 456 00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:13,506 I get it now. 457 00:19:13,506 --> 00:19:16,445 All chicks are somebody's daughter. 458 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:19,384 - No. Uh-uh. - Yeah, try again. 459 00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,856 Some chicks are guys, and that's okay. 460 00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,225 Mm... Mm-mm. 461 00:19:23,325 --> 00:19:25,162 - Hmm. - It-It's okay, Dad. 462 00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:27,400 B-Baby steps, I guess. 463 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,473 (loud whisper): Give her this now. 464 00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,479 No way. I haven't seen this in ages. 465 00:19:33,479 --> 00:19:35,383 I look at it every single day. 466 00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:39,124 I miss you so much, and I should've been there for you. 467 00:19:39,124 --> 00:19:42,096 (scoffs) Dad, I'm so glad you're back in my life, 468 00:19:42,096 --> 00:19:44,234 - and I really hope that... - (phone rings) 469 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,937 Ugh, seriously? 470 00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:47,875 Duffman, amazing news. 471 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:50,012 - You won the election. - Oh, yeah? 472 00:19:50,012 --> 00:19:51,014 Oh, yeah. 473 00:19:51,014 --> 00:19:53,285 Some kid posted video of you singing K-pop, 474 00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:56,024 and their fan army voted for you en freakin' masse. 475 00:19:56,024 --> 00:19:57,561 I need you on the next plane to Korea. 476 00:19:57,561 --> 00:20:00,634 Kim Jong-un wants to kidnap you and make a movie together. 477 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,136 Oh, yeah! 478 00:20:02,136 --> 00:20:03,940 (Amber groans) 479 00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:07,146 Aw, you know what? I think I have had enough 480 00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,683 of that wonderful Duff. 481 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:11,656 What? You'll never work in the adult beverage game again. 482 00:20:11,656 --> 00:20:15,564 No beer, no hard seltzer, no kombucha. 483 00:20:16,999 --> 00:20:18,503 Duff Nation, Duffman is here 484 00:20:18,503 --> 00:20:21,441 to get you wrecked in a whole new way as... 485 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:23,580 Puffman. 486 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,451 Come check out my daughter's brand-new weed store 487 00:20:26,552 --> 00:20:28,890 featuring her custom-made, one of a kind, 488 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:30,660 glass bongs. 489 00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:31,796 (inhales) 490 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:34,935 Oh, yeah. If any of my other estranged daughters 491 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,906 are watching, hit me up. 492 00:20:36,906 --> 00:20:38,543 Wait, your what? 493 00:20:38,543 --> 00:20:40,212 DUFFMAN: I mean-- Oh, yeah! 494 00:20:40,312 --> 00:20:41,448 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 495 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,751 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 496 00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:44,053 and TOYOTA. 497 00:20:44,154 --> 00:20:45,824 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 498 00:20:50,433 --> 00:20:53,205 Your tea service, Lord Thistlewink. (screams) 499 00:20:53,205 --> 00:20:55,510 ♪ ♪ 500 00:21:24,234 --> 00:21:26,438 ♪ ♪ 501 00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:33,887 Shh!