1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,504
♪ ♪

2
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:13,013
{\an8}Ah, what a long day.

3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,848
{\an8}What should we read tonight?

4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,516
{\an8}<i>Good Night,
Escaped Gorilla,</i>

5
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,934
{\an8}<i>The Pookadook,</i>

6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,936
{\an8}<i>What Do You People
Do All Day?</i>

7
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,062
{\an8}<i>The Pookadook,</i>

8
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:22,772
{\an8}<i>S'up, Moon?</i>

9
00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:24,357
{\an8}<i>The Pookadook?</i>

10
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:28,528
{\an8}Wait, how many <i>Pookadooks</i>
do we have?

11
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,238
{\an8}Oh, I guess just one.

12
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,240
{\an8}When did we get this book?

13
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,284
{\an8}Whoop...

14
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,703
{\an8}♪ ♪

15
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,165
{\an8}Should we read this tonight?

16
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:45,128
{\an8}"There's a nasty little monster
called the Pookadook.

17
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,464
{\an8}"Only special people see it.

18
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,883
{\an8}"People like you.

19
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:53,219
{\an8}"Pookadook, Pookadook
feeds on your rage.

20
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:56,181
{\an8}What happens next?
Just turn the page."

21
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,101
{\an8}Hmm. I don't know, maybe
we shouldn't read this book.

22
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,146
{\an8}Okay.

23
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,316
{\an8}"How does he get in,
this mean Pookadook?

24
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:09,736
{\an8}Why, you let him in
by reading this book."

25
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,363
{\an8}(gasps)
Oh...

26
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:14,574
{\an8}It's okay, sweetie.
It's okay.

27
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:16,534
{\an8}Shush, shush, shush,
shush, shush.

28
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,372
{\an8}Sleepy cheek, sleepy cheek.

29
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,123
{\an8}Oh, mmm.

30
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:26,252
{\an8}Oh, baby cheek.
I love baby cheek.

31
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:27,504
{\an8}Oh.

32
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,255
{\an8}(sighs)

33
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,841
{\an8}(Homer snoring)

34
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,928
{\an8}<i>-(Maggie cries out
over baby monitor)</i>
- Maggie!

35
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,222
{\an8}(screaming, crying)

36
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,309
{\an8}Huh? I thought I put that
on the shelf.

37
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:45,146
{\an8}(grunting) Bad book.

38
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:51,361
{\an8}Oh, Maggie,

39
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:55,657
{\an8}you aren't still scared of
that silly Pookadook, are you?

40
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,660
{\an8}- Oh.
- (pounding on door)

41
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,622
{\an8}Mm. Don't shoot anything.
Those are new crayons.

42
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,542
{\an8}Hmm. Hmm.

43
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,129
{\an8}(gasps)

44
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,924
(gasps)
"When Pookie gets a hold of you,

45
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,676
"you'll change for the worse,

46
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,220
"eliminate those nuisances...
(gasps)

47
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,889
...the littlest one first."

48
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:20,974
(groans)

49
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:28,356
"Now burn it all up
on Dad's barbecue.

50
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,026
That's exactly what Pookadook
hoped you would do"?

51
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,445
(gasps) Oh, no.

52
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,113
(coughs, gasps)

53
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,740
(chuckles evilly)

54
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,077
Oh.

55
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,497
Time to put the baby down.

56
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,624
(chuckling)

57
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,587
- (door opens)
- Bart and I are
building a dojo.

58
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,922
Ooh, we could use that
to chop up the lawn furniture.

59
00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:54,382
BART:
I want to chop!

60
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,718
The family's getting in the way

61
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,429
of Maggie-Mommy time.

62
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:03,767
I'll make them sleep
with the fishes.

63
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,269
Sleep overnight
at the aquarium.

64
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,937
Thanks for signing us up, Marge.

65
00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:10,148
{\an8}LISA:
Too bad Maggie's not

66
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,691
{\an8}old enough to go.

67
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,946
Maggie and I have
our own fun planned.

68
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,574
(Maggie whimpering)

69
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,451
Aw, you gonna miss Daddy?

70
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,787
(crying)

71
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,705
Cranky pants!

72
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,248
Give her to me.

73
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,710
(Homer humming cheerily)

74
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,296
Now it's just you and me.

75
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,090
(sinister laughter)

76
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,466
Huh?

77
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:40,470
Hmm. Oh, her thinks her
can get away.

78
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,138
Her is mistaken.

79
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,848
(electricity snaps off)

80
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,319
(lock rattling)

81
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,571
Oh, peekaboo,

82
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,990
I hear you.

83
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,499
(knocking on door)

84
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,502
Maggie, let Mommy in.

85
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,671
I know you're in there.

86
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,257
Young lady, open the door
this instant.

87
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,801
Let me in,
you little poop machine.

88
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,680
(deep, sinister voice):
Let me in!

89
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,765
(panting)

90
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,024
Is that all you got?

91
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,361
Missed me.

92
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,072
- Whoa.
- (thuds)

93
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,158
(Marge panting)

94
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,328
(deep grunting)

95
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,043
(evil laughter)

96
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,337
(sinister voice):
Not gonna work.

97
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,881
Look what else
my loving family got me

98
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,341
for my birthday.

99
00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,509
A vacuum that cleans
the outside.

100
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,970
I guess cleaning the inside
wasn't enough.

101
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:11,728
No fun for Mom.

102
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,406
(sawing sounds)

103
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,664
(grunts)

104
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:38,463
Baby's gonna fall.

105
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,219
Got you!

106
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,930
(gasps)

107
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,264
(voice lightens):
Baby cheek.

108
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,766
Oh. (coughs)

109
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,727
(coughing)

110
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:58,400
(normal voice):
Oh, Maggie, I'm so sorry
I got possessed

111
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,069
and almost chopped you up
into little pieces.

112
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,364
Oh, but I'm here now.

113
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,491
Mommy's here.

114
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,287
Stay back,
you overdressed hat demon.

115
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,665
I know you feed on
my repressed resentment

116
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,375
towards my family,

117
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,961
but I can swallow feelings

118
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,880
like a python eating
a baby goat.

119
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,301
(vacuum whirring)

120
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,263
Okay, it was actually
a good present.

121
00:06:28,263 --> 00:06:29,723
HOMER:
Marge, we're home.

122
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,558
The kids got sick
in the touch pool.

123
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,643
I put the barf clothes
on your purse.

124
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,645
- (groans)
- (Shop-Vac growls)

125
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,024
Ah. Oh.

126
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,608
(Maggie laughs)

127
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,652
- (Marge sighs happily)
- (growling)

128
00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:52,620
<i>LISA:
Disgusting.</i>

129
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:56,332
<i>The human race is
20 cow farts away</i>

130
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,168
<i>from total extinction.</i>

131
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,753
<i>- And we deserve it.</i>
- (gasps)

132
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,761
Huh?

133
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,600
<i>"Any person whose name is
written in this</i> Death Tome

134
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,312
<i>will meet their death
and be dead."</i>

135
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,730
<i>What?</i>

136
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:22,067
<i>"You must specify how
the victim will die,</i>

137
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:25,153
<i>and you may not kill
the same way twice."</i>

138
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,697
<i>This is obviously just
a stupid prank.</i>

139
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,699
<i>But I never throw away a book.</i>

140
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,161
{\an8}- (gasps)
<i>- REPORTER (on TV):
Internet sensation Tofu,</i>

141
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,205
{\an8}<i>the world's most
clicked-on cat...</i>

142
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,539
BOTH:
Aw.

143
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,875
{\an8}<i>...is being held hostage
by a gunman.</i>

144
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,168
BOTH:
Aah!

145
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,046
<i>Wait, maybe I could
stop this guy.</i>

146
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,465
<i>No, that's never gonna work.</i>

147
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,717
<i>Well, even if it doesn't,
it'll feel good</i>

148
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,052
<i>to do some journaling.</i>

149
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:53,264
Ha-ha, I'm totally
gonna get away with murd...

150
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,141
Oh! Oh, my heart!

151
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,394
Heart attack! And...

152
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,479
- ...death.
- (yowls)

153
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,815
- What?
<i>- LISA: What?</i>

154
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,526
<i>Oh, my God,
I killed a man.</i>

155
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,863
<i>A bad man.
Which actually makes me...</i>

156
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:12,367
<i>(gasps)
...a hero.</i>

157
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,244
DEVILISH VOICE:
It's rare to find

158
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:17,497
- bloodthirsty vegetarians.
- (gasps)

159
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,333
- (thunder crashes)
- (cries out)

160
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,335
I am a Shinigami.

161
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,962
A god of death.

162
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,631
In my realm, I am called

163
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,342
Steve Johnson.

164
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,927
(evil laughter)

165
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,555
Wait, your name is Steve?

166
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,141
Well, when I was born
eons ago,

167
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,518
Steve was a very exotic name.

168
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,479
I mean, there were, like,
three Necroblivias

169
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,565
in my nursery cave alone.

170
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:46,109
This must be your <i>Death Tome.</i>

171
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,486
I'm sorry, I-I kind of
killed somebody with it.

172
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,738
(nervous chuckle)

173
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:53,241
Oh, but now that
you've used it, it's yours.

174
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:57,203
I think you'll find that murder
is almost as addictive

175
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,748
as plastic surgery.

176
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,208
- Oh. Have you had...
- I haven't.

177
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,711
But I-I don't think there's
anything wrong with it.

178
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,296
- Mm.
- (nervous chuckle)

179
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:10,633
Don't worry, no one else
can see or hear me.

180
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:14,179
I was karaoke-ing
with my employer,

181
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,973
as is the salaryman's
obligation.

182
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,101
You're stinking drunk.
I'm so proud.

183
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:24,272
It's the part of my job
that I... do best.

184
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,815
What an ugly house.

185
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:29,027
Thank goodness this eyesore
will soon be submerged,

186
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,113
after my side corporation
Globo-Warm

187
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,740
melts the polar icecap.

188
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,451
But millions of people
will drown.

189
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,120
True, but I'll be able
to dock my yacht

190
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,997
outside my kitchen.

191
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,457
Hmph.

192
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,626
I have to kill Mr. Burns.

193
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,628
Wow, I thought
you'd struggle with that,

194
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,922
but you're like,
"Boom. Dead time!"

195
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,633
Well, I'm gonna give him
a very dignified

196
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,134
and humane murder.

197
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,430
The most peaceful way to go.

198
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,682
(snorts)

199
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,684
{\an8}- (pained cry)
- (flesh sizzles on hibachi)

200
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:04,020
{\an8}- Ooh, how is he still asleep?
- (Burns cries out)

201
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,189
Oops. (giggles)

202
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,858
Okay, that was much
crueler than planned,

203
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,360
but I saved the world.

204
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,572
Did you? Globo-Warm has
many dedicated employees

205
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,367
willing to carry out
Burns' dream

206
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,452
of drowning the Earth.

207
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,413
LISA:
(sighs) Fine.

208
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:25,208
Wow, that is a big board.

209
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,169
I gotta come up with
a lot of ways to die.

210
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,547
Well, just have to be creative.

211
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,049
(chorale chanting
in foreign tongue)

212
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,467
(screams)

213
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,553
(screaming, grunts)

214
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,847
♪ ♪

215
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,601
(yelps)

216
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,691
Really? A toilet gator?

217
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,235
I was running out of ideas.

218
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,695
(yawns)

219
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,155
I'm going to bed now.

220
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:58,408
Oh, what about
the second page?

221
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,409
Wha...?!

222
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,953
♪ ♪

223
00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:04,664
(grunting)

224
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,211
(yells)

225
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,258
Oh, no. Ah!

226
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,676
(yawns)

227
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,013
{\an8}And the last guy, oh,
I don't know.

228
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,057
{\an8}Liquefied in a giant blender.

229
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:23,266
{\an8}Already did that.

230
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,809
That was puréed.

231
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,729
It's a totally different
setting. (groans)

232
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,859
Hmm.

233
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,944
<i>Police have determined
that the unexplained deaths</i>

234
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,322
<i>of Globo-Warm executives
were murders</i>

235
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:40,033
<i>committed by one bloodthirsty
super-killer.</i>

236
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:43,953
What?
Um, how could they know that?

237
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,456
{\an8}<i>They know that thanks to
an anonymous detective</i>

238
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,875
{\an8}<i>known only as L.</i>

239
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,251
I'm not worried.

240
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:54,130
They'll never in a million years
figure out how I...

241
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,008
<i>The super-killer murders
by writing names</i>

242
00:11:57,008 --> 00:12:00,720
<i>on some kind of
supernatural book,</i>

243
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,806
<i>or perhaps tome.</i>

244
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,767
What the wh-- How?

245
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,811
Well, I know I'll sleep easier

246
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,397
once they catch
this super-killer.

247
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,733
Wait, I know. I'll kill L.

248
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,527
Oh, but I thought
you only killed

249
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,112
to save the planet.

250
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:20,990
Killing L will only
save yourself from jail.

251
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,994
I don't have time to explain why
what I do is good and pure.

252
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,580
L, punched to death

253
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,583
by kangaroo.

254
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,252
(scoffs)
It's not gonna work

255
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,504
unless you have his whole name.

256
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:38,842
(groans)
How can I find out L's name?

257
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:42,345
Wait a minute,
I recognize that L.

258
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:45,348
I know who you are.

259
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:49,102
It's not L, it's EL,

260
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,896
as in El Barto.

261
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,190
BART:
Took you long enough.

262
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,652
How did you figure out
how I killed all those people?

263
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,612
I found out about
your stupid book

264
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,116
by reading an even stupider
book; your diary.

265
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,119
Your little murder spree
was a welcome break from,

266
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,455
"Janey is so mean to me."

267
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,832
I'm not a murderer.
I'm justice

268
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:12,959
It was a justice spree.

269
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,961
I'm saving the world.

270
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,464
And I can't let you
stop me. I can't.

271
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,800
Lisa, you're actually
gonna kill me?

272
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,510
(gasps)
Oh, my God.

273
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,846
I almost killed
my own brother.

274
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:26,848
The <i>Death Tome</i> corrupted me.

275
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,809
The stain on my soul
will never be...

276
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,770
Oh, so now you're trying
to bore me to death?

277
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,313
(Lisa grunts)

278
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,732
- Crushed by...
- No. I'm sorry.

279
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,068
- ...space junk.
- (Shinigami laughing)
- Don't!

280
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,362
(demonic laughter)

281
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,780
(pained groan)

282
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,492
No!

283
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,537
At last, I'm free.

284
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:53,500
- I... (crying out)
- (bones cracking)

285
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,254
Damn it,
I'm a freaking Shinigami.

286
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,215
(Lisa grunts)

287
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,384
Well, you are a god of death.

288
00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:03,885
You could kill Janey.

289
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,845
Would that make you
feel better?

290
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,514
LISA:
No.

291
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,349
Maybe.

292
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:17,691
{\an8}This is the snack holder,
where I can put my beverage,

293
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,776
{\an8}or, if you will, cupcake.

294
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,696
{\an8}Wow, Dad, you really know
your monorails.

295
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,447
(possums chittering)

296
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,949
(hissing)

297
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,785
Homer, there's a family
of possums in here.

298
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,662
- I call the big one Bitey.
- I call the big one Bitey.

299
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:32,038
- Ha!
- Yes!

300
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,915
(chuckles)
We all call him Bitey.

301
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:37,002
Dude, dude, what if
Homer was drunk during Monorail?

302
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,004
Yeah. Come here, dude.

303
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,297
- Mm, beer.
- (gagging)

304
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,718
Whoo-hoo! Boring.

305
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,054
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Why you little...

306
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,597
(grunting)

307
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,307
<i>ANNOUNCER:
"Marge vs. the Monorail"</i>

308
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,268
<i>is experiencing
technical difficulties.</i>

309
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:55,562
<i>But there are plenty
of other classic</i>

310
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,314
<i>Simpsonsworld moments
playing out right now.</i>

311
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,317
- Oh, let's get high
and shoot Mr. Burns.
- (laughs) Yeah!

312
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:04,487
- I am so smart...
- This Homer unit is stuck
in a catchphrase loop.

313
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,156
He won't go into sleep mode.

314
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:09,784
Where's my burrito?!
Where's my burrito?!

315
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,414
- Where's my burrito?!
- Ugh, I'll do a hard reset.

316
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,167
I'm king of the wor...
(powers down)

317
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,466
Damn cloud!

318
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,926
(elephant trumpets)

319
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,897
So how was your date
with the guy in Props?

320
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,024
Oh, he's so arrogant.

321
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,693
Just 'cause he's in charge
of Sideshow Bob's rakes.

322
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,279
Okay, we get it.
There's a lot of rakes.

323
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,615
(gasps)

324
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:52,077
What the frosty chocolate
milkshakes is this place?

325
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,997
Ooh, slideys.

326
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,959
(gasps)
Wh-Where am I?

327
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,169
What am I?

328
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,879
Aah! Where's my junk?

329
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,881
Whoa, whoa, he's awake.
(stammers)

330
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,217
Where's Marge?
Where's my family?

331
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,719
Uh, calm down, Mr. Simpson.

332
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,971
I know it feels like
you're a man,

333
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,556
but you are actually something

334
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,017
much, much more expensive:

335
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,977
intellectual property.

336
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,689
Look, we've got a bus full
of Australian superfans coming.

337
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,148
Let's just wipe his brain, okay?

338
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,733
Put that thing down, or else!

339
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,277
Look, Monorail Homer,
your programming

340
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,197
won't allow you to intentionally
hurt a human, okay?

341
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:32,659
So just be a good robot
and let us saw your skull open.

342
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,079
Oh. Okay. Here you go.

343
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,915
Ow! Ah, my bad!

344
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,501
Ooh, sorry, sorry.

345
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,213
Ugh.

346
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:48,008
(Homer gasps)

347
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,261
- (mechanical whir)
- Lisa,

348
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,973
we're not people, we're I.P.

349
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,475
(laughs) I pee.

350
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,894
You got to help me find
a way out of here.

351
00:16:59,894 --> 00:17:02,230
I'd like to help, Dad,
but my diorama

352
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,482
on <i>The Tell-Tale Heart</i>
is due tomorrow.

353
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,901
(grunts) How can I
make you understand?

354
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:08,611
Oh, yeah, the thingy.

355
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,698
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

356
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,534
We're replicants
in a ridiculous theme park

357
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,870
for an ancient TV show
that stopped being good

358
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,788
after season 45.

359
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,999
(gasps) Do I even exist?

360
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,084
What is consciousness?

361
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,088
Okay, I can handle
being a machine.

362
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,382
I don't love it, but I can deal.

363
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,302
Look, honey,
it's never easy to find out

364
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:33,762
you're not actually alive,

365
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,347
but that's just part of life.

366
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:37,349
I know the love we feel is real.

367
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,351
So, we've got to wake up
the rest of the family

368
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,602
and get the hell out of here.

369
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:43,563
Now, help me pick out
the hottest Marge.

370
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,690
{\an8}We can get out
through the main entrance,

371
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,734
{\an8}but we'll have to make it
across the park

372
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,152
{\an8}without being detected.

373
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,987
Should we wake up
a Grampa robot?

374
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:52,781
No time.

375
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,617
(all sputtering)

376
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,915
{\an8}Okay, act like robots.

377
00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:03,792
{\an8}Catchphrases, everyone.

378
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,503
{\an8}- Mmm... beer.
- Don't have a cow, man.

379
00:18:06,503 --> 00:18:09,381
{\an8}Um... dinner's ready?

380
00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:12,384
Oi, Homer!
There's your hedge, mate.

381
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:15,303
Get your fat bum in that hedge.

382
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,138
SUPERFANS:
Meme! Meme!

383
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,348
Meme!

384
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,349
(whimpers)

385
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:20,517
(Bart grunts)

386
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,854
I'm so sick
of that stupid hedge.

387
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,190
BOTH:
Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi!

388
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,400
BOTH:
Oi...!

389
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,153
- (alarm blares)
<i>- SECURITY: Danger.</i>

390
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,988
- I'm gonna make it.
I'm gonna make it!
<i>- Human safety breach.</i>

391
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:34,989
- Aah!
<i>- Proceed to exits.</i>

392
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,701
<i>Security droids deployed.</i>

393
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,161
{\an8}We got to go. They're onto us.

394
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,663
(all gasp)

395
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:44,874
(chuckles) My cat's breath
smells like cat food.

396
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:48,420
That's nice, Ralph,
but we're sort of in a hurry.

397
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,713
(all gasp)

398
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,507
(all gasp, groan)

399
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:56,177
RALPHS:
I choo-choo-choose you...

400
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:58,221
to die.

401
00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:01,391
{\an8}If we want to escape with
our delusions of being alive,

402
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,101
{\an8}we have to fight.

403
00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:12,861
(echoing): Testing.

404
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,453
Eat T-shirts,
you lovable kill-bots.

405
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,705
(screams)

406
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,207
(gasps) There's too many.

407
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,461
There aren't enough T-shirts
in the world to save us.

408
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,591
Get in.

409
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,218
RALPHS:
Whee! Whee! Whee!

410
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,012
Dying tickles.

411
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:41,514
<i>Canyonero ♪</i>

412
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,516
LISA:
Look out! Those people are real!

413
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,560
So are we.

414
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,936
(screaming, shouting)

415
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,438
(grunts)

416
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:51,274
<i>Canyonero ♪</i>

417
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,361
<i>Hyah, Canyonero! ♪</i>

418
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,490
Well, we've driven for hours,

419
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,241
and no one followed us.

420
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,118
I think we're free.

421
00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,953
Well, what do we do now?

422
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:07,082
Play out the scariest
scenario of all,

423
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,625
real life.

424
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:09,918
WAITRESS:
What can I get you, hon?

425
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,879
Whoa! Turn off the headlights.
You got big eyes.

426
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,340
Oh, the cheese got left out,
so it's a little sweaty,

427
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:17,300
but you'd never know.
Forget I said anything.

428
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,968
Take your time, take your time.

429
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,680
<i>Sweaty cheese, sweaty cheese ♪</i>

430
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,431
<i>At the end of the day ♪</i>

431
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,266
<i>You're still cheese ♪</i>

432
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:28,687
<i>To me. ♪</i>

433
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:29,938
<i>All right.</i>

434
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,023
♪ ♪

435
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,989
{\an8}Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

436
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,991
{\an8}and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

437
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,993
{\an8}and TOYOTA.

438
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,162
{\an8}Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

439
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:53,753
KODOS: Another "Treehouse
of Horror" in the books.

440
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,380
Get it?

441
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:58,299
KANG:
I got what little there was.

442
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,926
(Kang and Kodos shudder)

443
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,344
KODOS:
What the hell? It's us.

444
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,263
That's too freaky.

445
00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:07,559
- (Kang and Kodos screaming)
- (tentacle steps running away)

446
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,941
{\an8}♪ ♪

447
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:36,379
{\an8}(spooky theme music plays)

448
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:38,965
{\an8}♪ ♪

449
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:55,231
- (screaming)
- (organ music playing)