1 00:00:05,686 --> 00:00:09,686 ♪ The Simpsons 27x18 ♪ How Lisa Got Her Marge Back Original Air Date on April 10, 2016 2 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:16,045 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 3 00:00:24,269 --> 00:00:25,701 D'oh! 4 00:00:32,076 --> 00:00:33,076 Yech! 5 00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,567 Yes! 6 00:01:02,173 --> 00:01:03,573 Oh, China, 7 00:01:03,608 --> 00:01:06,275 is there nothing that can't be made in you? 8 00:01:08,947 --> 00:01:09,947 Hmm. 9 00:01:15,186 --> 00:01:17,653 Ah, my first sucker. 10 00:01:17,689 --> 00:01:19,522 Oh, a dollar. 11 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,490 Now I can have lunch. 12 00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:24,126 Hmm? 13 00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:26,195 It's a trick! 14 00:01:26,231 --> 00:01:28,164 I never needed these. 15 00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:33,569 Oh, lookie here, 16 00:01:33,605 --> 00:01:36,472 it's the ol' fishing line on a dollar bill prank. 17 00:01:36,507 --> 00:01:39,775 Man, even a backwoods, no account, inbred, 18 00:01:39,811 --> 00:01:43,279 lead-paint-eating, kerosene-huffing, 19 00:01:43,314 --> 00:01:47,617 roadkill-chomping, um, what was my point? 20 00:01:49,287 --> 00:01:51,454 That is a practical joke, Luann. 21 00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:54,423 Which is too bad, because I desperately need that dollar. 22 00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:57,159 I could also use the fishing line to get some dinner. 23 00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:59,195 Bart, if Milhouse is hiding with you, 24 00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:01,264 tell him he has to shop for school clothes. 25 00:02:01,299 --> 00:02:03,899 Yay! School clothes. 26 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:07,803 This isn't right, no one's falling for my pranks. 27 00:02:07,839 --> 00:02:09,772 Huh! 28 00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:11,140 At least it wasn't a total waste. 29 00:02:11,175 --> 00:02:12,275 I found a quarter. 30 00:02:15,346 --> 00:02:17,480 Well, we sure got him good. 31 00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,149 Duh, what a moron, duh. 32 00:02:20,184 --> 00:02:22,818 I sure wish Archie was alive to see it. 33 00:02:29,727 --> 00:02:31,127 Duh... 34 00:02:33,164 --> 00:02:35,665 It's Thursday night, and that can only mean, 35 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,400 counter-intuitively, football! 36 00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:39,168 From London's Wembley Stadium, 37 00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,804 the Jacksonville Jag-u-ars and Tampa Bay "Bucs" 38 00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:43,339 vie for Florida bragging rights. 39 00:02:43,374 --> 00:02:46,342 Does not include Miami. 40 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,445 ♪ When you're not happy ♪ 41 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,480 ♪ Watching your Downton Abbey ♪ 42 00:02:51,516 --> 00:02:53,215 ♪ You can always see ♪ 43 00:02:53,251 --> 00:02:54,417 Oh! 44 00:02:54,452 --> 00:02:56,185 ♪ Football ♪ 45 00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:57,520 ♪ Not British Football ♪ 46 00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,588 ♪ But American Football ♪ 47 00:02:59,624 --> 00:03:02,825 ♪ Which has higher scores ♪ 48 00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:03,860 ♪ Touchdown. ♪ 49 00:03:07,432 --> 00:03:09,732 If these U.K. clichés are any indication, 50 00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:12,168 we are in for one gobsmacking match. 51 00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:15,771 To see or not to see. That is no question. 52 00:03:15,807 --> 00:03:18,274 Dad, I'm worried. 53 00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:20,676 No one is falling for my pranks anymore. 54 00:03:20,712 --> 00:03:22,411 Son, I know this seems 55 00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:25,715 like the biggest disappointment of your life, but trust me, 56 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,484 there are going to be so many more. 57 00:03:28,519 --> 00:03:30,619 What you've got to remember is-- oh, my God, 58 00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:31,787 13 men in the field! 59 00:03:31,823 --> 00:03:33,522 Review it, review it, review it. 60 00:03:33,558 --> 00:03:34,990 Yes! Play stands! 61 00:03:36,394 --> 00:03:37,660 Here comes the airplane! 62 00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:38,695 Zhoop! 63 00:03:39,931 --> 00:03:41,864 Thanks to your late football-watching, 64 00:03:41,899 --> 00:03:43,466 you missed breakfast. 65 00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:45,668 Eh, don't worry, Marge, I'll make my own. 66 00:03:47,472 --> 00:03:48,604 Meh. 67 00:04:01,786 --> 00:04:04,387 Mom, I've been working on a new solo jazz piece. 68 00:04:04,422 --> 00:04:06,155 Can I hear it? 69 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,560 Oh, I'd love to stay and listen, but I'm late for work. 70 00:04:14,232 --> 00:04:17,066 Here's another super-fan to hear you lay down your licks. 71 00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,344 Brava. 72 00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:29,912 I knew you'd like it. 73 00:04:35,052 --> 00:04:37,553 Hey, I am too young to be over the hill. 74 00:04:37,588 --> 00:04:41,090 Lucky for me, there's a Ralph born every minute. 75 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:42,892 Hey, Ralph, how about a napkin? 76 00:04:42,927 --> 00:04:44,160 Do I look stupid? 77 00:04:46,464 --> 00:04:49,665 Mmm! Wall licorice. 78 00:04:50,835 --> 00:04:52,435 Aah! 79 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:59,575 Marge, nothing says "I'm sorry" better than flowers. 80 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,477 Except for fundamental behavioral change, 81 00:05:01,512 --> 00:05:03,446 but you can't buy that at the supermarket. 82 00:05:03,481 --> 00:05:05,514 They do smell nice. 83 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,349 Hey, Dad, want to hear my solo? 84 00:05:07,385 --> 00:05:09,084 I added a few variations today. 85 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,753 Of course I would. 86 00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,455 Okay. Aw, my reed is split. 87 00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:13,756 I'll be right back. 88 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,493 I've already heard Lisa's song once. 89 00:05:17,528 --> 00:05:20,596 I've had a long day, and to be completely honest, 90 00:05:20,631 --> 00:05:23,499 I really can't stand jazz. 91 00:05:29,507 --> 00:05:31,507 What about when Lisa plays it? 92 00:05:31,542 --> 00:05:33,542 All the same. Ugh. 93 00:05:35,079 --> 00:05:37,780 Sounds great, honey. 94 00:05:41,724 --> 00:05:44,332 So, you really don't like jazz? 95 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:46,233 I never realized we have so much in common. 96 00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:47,968 And scat-singing. 97 00:05:48,003 --> 00:05:51,405 She-bee-bee-dee-dee-diddly-bop- dee-do I give a darn? 98 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,308 So, all these years, you've been lying to me? 99 00:05:55,377 --> 00:05:56,543 Be-beep-ba-boop-boop. 100 00:05:56,579 --> 00:05:58,278 So, let's get it all out here. 101 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,614 Mom, you were only pretending to like it this morning 102 00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,749 when I played My Funny Valentine. 103 00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,852 That was My Funny Valentine? Hoo-boy. 104 00:06:05,888 --> 00:06:07,688 Wouldn't expect you to get it. 105 00:06:07,723 --> 00:06:09,556 So busy juggling three children, 106 00:06:09,592 --> 00:06:13,293 you don't even notice when one is hanging by a thread, 107 00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,562 a thread you just cut forever! 108 00:06:15,598 --> 00:06:17,531 Lisa, this a family. 109 00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:20,234 You do not take that tone with another family member. 110 00:06:20,269 --> 00:06:21,301 You tell 'em, butterbean. 111 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,736 Shut up, idiot. 112 00:06:22,771 --> 00:06:25,539 Lisa, honey, you're hurt, but hurting me back 113 00:06:25,574 --> 00:06:27,808 is not going to feel as good as you think. 114 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,978 Just know that I am very, very sorry. 115 00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:32,112 Hmm! 116 00:06:32,147 --> 00:06:33,447 Hmph! 117 00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:34,815 Mm... 118 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:35,850 Hmm... 119 00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:36,917 Mm! 120 00:06:36,952 --> 00:06:38,585 Hm! 121 00:06:39,622 --> 00:06:41,255 Good night, Marjorie. 122 00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:44,191 Marjorie. 123 00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:46,760 She called me "Mar-jo-rie." 124 00:06:46,795 --> 00:06:48,528 So? Bart calls me Homer. 125 00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:50,731 You know that's out of disrespect. 126 00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:51,865 Dis-respect? 127 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,567 Is that a word? Yes. 128 00:06:53,602 --> 00:06:55,636 And there's this guy at work that calls me Hoss. 129 00:06:55,671 --> 00:06:57,104 What's that all about? 130 00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:58,472 This is awful. 131 00:06:58,507 --> 00:07:00,741 Lisa and I have always been so close. 132 00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,611 Now, for your first day at school, 133 00:07:04,647 --> 00:07:07,214 you get what my mother gave me. 134 00:07:07,249 --> 00:07:08,215 Pearls? 135 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,483 Just like Mommy's. 136 00:07:14,757 --> 00:07:16,857 Dad, is there anything you pass along? 137 00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:18,659 Predilection for kidney stones. 138 00:07:20,462 --> 00:07:24,464 What if Lisa doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? 139 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,868 Marge, it's not your job to be friends with your kids, 140 00:07:27,903 --> 00:07:30,337 it's my job. Good night, sweetie. 141 00:07:30,372 --> 00:07:31,872 Oh, uh, Bart and I 142 00:07:31,907 --> 00:07:34,274 are gonna see an R-rated movie Saturday. 143 00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:36,710 It has boobs, but they're elf boobs. 144 00:07:36,745 --> 00:07:37,711 Is that cool? 145 00:07:37,746 --> 00:07:39,379 Hmm. I guess. 146 00:07:43,819 --> 00:07:46,920 So long, whoopee cushion. 147 00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:55,862 Ah, good old peanut brittle. 148 00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:57,431 What the...? 149 00:07:57,466 --> 00:08:00,434 A coiled wire spring covered by a snake-patterned vinyl sheath? 150 00:08:11,113 --> 00:08:15,882 Lisa, our weekend in Capital City will make us friends again. 151 00:08:15,918 --> 00:08:17,284 I don't see your saxophone. 152 00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:19,086 That must be a relief to you. 153 00:08:19,121 --> 00:08:21,521 Honey, I want you to bring it. 154 00:08:21,557 --> 00:08:23,990 Sure, should I grab some Kenny G CDs too? 155 00:08:24,026 --> 00:08:25,525 Some Chuck Mangione? 156 00:08:25,561 --> 00:08:27,127 That would be lovely! 157 00:08:27,162 --> 00:08:30,097 Oh, I-I get it, they're popular, so you don't like them. 158 00:08:30,132 --> 00:08:32,666 Just please get your sax. 159 00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,136 Airport shuttle? 160 00:08:36,171 --> 00:08:39,473 Yes, I'm going on a trip with a special little girl. 161 00:08:39,508 --> 00:08:41,341 That baby is adorable. 162 00:08:41,377 --> 00:08:43,710 Oh, it's not the baby. 163 00:08:43,746 --> 00:08:46,313 Great, now I've got both daughters mad at me. 164 00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:48,548 May I say that you sound like a terrible mother? 165 00:08:48,584 --> 00:08:51,485 But no one ever cares what the shuttle bus driver thinks. 166 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,720 "Take me to terminal four," they say. 167 00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:55,689 Actually, we're at terminal three. 168 00:08:55,724 --> 00:08:58,392 Arguing with everyone today, aren't you? 169 00:08:58,427 --> 00:09:00,293 Okay, we'll see you on Monday, Homer. 170 00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:06,633 I'm feeling really sad too, Dad. 171 00:09:06,668 --> 00:09:08,468 Nothing cheers people up like a baby. 172 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,270 Hey! 173 00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,406 Boy, we each have to do our part, and I'm gonna make dinner. 174 00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:13,707 And I'm gonna start with... 175 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,977 Ice cream! 176 00:09:17,012 --> 00:09:18,178 Come back! 177 00:09:18,213 --> 00:09:19,946 Don't make me jog. 178 00:09:19,982 --> 00:09:23,483 Why is your father chasing after the spay and neuter van? 179 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:24,851 You got me. 180 00:09:24,887 --> 00:09:26,153 What do I do with you? 181 00:09:28,657 --> 00:09:30,524 Hey, this is fun. 182 00:09:36,965 --> 00:09:38,465 Wow. Wow! 183 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,100 I like having a sister. 184 00:09:40,135 --> 00:09:42,169 Helps that you don't say anything. 185 00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:05,559 I wonder how you are at pranks. 186 00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:11,364 We're not worthy. We're not worthy. 187 00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:14,067 I'm back! 188 00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:15,535 Don't drop that angel. 189 00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:19,573 Hi, folks, and welcome to the Capital City Dream Tour. 190 00:10:19,608 --> 00:10:22,576 If you're here for the Capital City Crime Tour, 191 00:10:22,611 --> 00:10:23,743 that leaves in 20 minutes. 192 00:10:25,647 --> 00:10:28,548 Let's wave to that to that ordinary hot dog vendor. 193 00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:34,754 Wow, he's anything but ordinary. 194 00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:38,792 You know, I wouldn't be surprised 195 00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:43,096 if he turned up one of Capital City's Broadway-caliber shows. 196 00:10:55,677 --> 00:10:57,043 There's got to be something here 197 00:10:57,079 --> 00:10:59,779 that'll calm down little yellow pill. 198 00:10:59,815 --> 00:11:01,581 ♪ Here comes Paul ♪ 199 00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:02,883 ♪ To guard the mall ♪ 200 00:11:02,918 --> 00:11:05,685 ♪ But when will he fall in love? ♪ 201 00:11:07,923 --> 00:11:09,623 ♪ Hey, G.I. Jane ♪ 202 00:11:09,658 --> 00:11:11,625 ♪ Let's make it plain ♪ 203 00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:14,127 ♪ How do you train for love? ♪ 204 00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,831 ♪ Men in black ♪ 205 00:11:17,866 --> 00:11:19,599 ♪ We'll state a fact ♪ 206 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:23,003 ♪ The thing that you lack is love. ♪ 207 00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:25,839 I always like when a black guy teams up with a white guy. 208 00:11:25,874 --> 00:11:27,908 It gives us hope. 209 00:11:27,943 --> 00:11:29,743 That's the show for Lisa. 210 00:11:29,778 --> 00:11:31,945 She'll love it! 211 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:33,780 The Bad News Bears? 212 00:11:33,815 --> 00:11:35,181 Is there nothing so beautiful 213 00:11:35,217 --> 00:11:38,018 that they won't keep exploiting till it's worthless? 214 00:11:38,053 --> 00:11:39,986 Well, they're expensive, 215 00:11:40,022 --> 00:11:43,023 which means if I die, you're still taking me. 216 00:11:43,058 --> 00:11:45,625 Also, I bought you a little present from a street vendor. 217 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,693 They're earrings. 218 00:11:46,728 --> 00:11:49,296 He's a cool cucumber, huh? 219 00:11:49,331 --> 00:11:52,098 Mom, I'm really not into jewelry right now. 220 00:11:52,134 --> 00:11:54,301 You're not wearing your pearls. 221 00:11:54,336 --> 00:11:56,703 Um, the clasp wasn't working. 222 00:11:56,738 --> 00:11:57,938 I can fix it. 223 00:11:57,973 --> 00:11:59,613 There are some things that can't be fixed. 224 00:11:59,641 --> 00:12:01,041 What are you saying? 225 00:12:01,076 --> 00:12:03,743 You really don't understand 226 00:12:03,779 --> 00:12:05,946 how much this has hurt me. 227 00:12:05,981 --> 00:12:09,015 Jazz is my thing, and you said you loved my thing, 228 00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:10,984 but you lied. 229 00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:12,953 You'll have a daughter someday, too. 230 00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:15,121 And when she yells at you like that... 231 00:12:15,157 --> 00:12:16,157 she'll be right. 232 00:12:19,194 --> 00:12:21,962 Oh, who can sit with their back turned 233 00:12:21,997 --> 00:12:24,130 as their mother is crying? 234 00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:29,803 A jazz musician, that's who. 235 00:12:29,838 --> 00:12:31,638 Well, you guys understand. 236 00:12:31,673 --> 00:12:33,907 Don't look at me, I'm a pity present. 237 00:12:33,942 --> 00:12:36,209 I'm just glad I'm not in a salad. 238 00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,992 Oh Grand Papa, es muy glamouroso. 239 00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:47,695 Solo lo mejor para my princesa. 240 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,435 Why didn't I get in the quinceañera game years ago? 241 00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:55,537 Uh, excuse me, sir, 242 00:12:55,572 --> 00:12:57,739 I have three sisters turning 15. 243 00:12:57,774 --> 00:12:59,574 Oh boy. 244 00:12:59,609 --> 00:13:01,309 Can you hold baby Maggie here, 245 00:13:01,344 --> 00:13:03,778 while I check out las tiaras para la quinceañera? 246 00:13:03,814 --> 00:13:06,581 Oh, a cute little rugrat like that? You betcha. 247 00:13:06,616 --> 00:13:08,850 Hey, look at ol' Gil holding a baby. 248 00:13:08,885 --> 00:13:10,518 I'm not even dropping it. 249 00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:12,520 Oh! Why did I say that? 250 00:13:12,556 --> 00:13:14,289 Now it's all I can think about. 251 00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:18,827 Oh, every time I get a great job, I drop a baby. 252 00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:27,335 If I can just get her to share an armrest, 253 00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,603 that would be a start. 254 00:13:30,273 --> 00:13:31,706 Hmm... 255 00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:36,511 ♪ A ragtag bunch of misfits ♪ 256 00:13:36,546 --> 00:13:39,180 ♪ And a no-goodnik rub-a-dub ♪ 257 00:13:39,216 --> 00:13:42,016 ♪ How can I make them winners ♪ 258 00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:43,585 ♪ In baseball ♪ 259 00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:45,553 ♪ And at love? ♪ 260 00:13:45,589 --> 00:13:46,988 Hm. 261 00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:52,427 ♪ Corey Leak is a hip-shakin', rule-breakin' bad boy ♪ 262 00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:53,862 I'm a bad boy. 263 00:13:53,897 --> 00:14:00,602 ♪ But I've got a crush on Amanda, so ♪ 264 00:14:00,637 --> 00:14:04,038 ♪ I will mend my roughish ♪ 265 00:14:04,074 --> 00:14:10,111 ♪ Way... ♪ 266 00:14:10,147 --> 00:14:11,112 ♪ s-ah! ♪ 267 00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:13,948 Oh. 268 00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:15,717 Here comes the tying run. 269 00:14:15,752 --> 00:14:17,418 Tie, Corey, tie. 270 00:14:18,121 --> 00:14:19,521 You're out! 271 00:14:19,556 --> 00:14:22,624 ♪ To you, I'm out ♪ 272 00:14:22,659 --> 00:14:28,429 ♪ But to me, I'm home ♪ 273 00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:30,331 ♪ Time for the ♪ 274 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:34,936 ♪ Show stopper ♪ 275 00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:36,004 Yeah! 276 00:14:36,039 --> 00:14:40,675 ♪ The big cork popper ♪ 277 00:14:42,112 --> 00:14:44,212 Lisa, you're gonna have to admit it, 278 00:14:44,247 --> 00:14:46,314 your mom has the bad taste of... 279 00:14:46,349 --> 00:14:48,249 well, a mom. 280 00:14:48,285 --> 00:14:50,185 I'm gonna have to mother myself. 281 00:14:50,220 --> 00:14:52,754 You quit complaining, and pretend you like it. 282 00:14:56,326 --> 00:14:58,226 I knew she'd come around. 283 00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,228 What's all this nonsense? 284 00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:04,933 Quit clapping, I've got a hangover. 285 00:15:04,968 --> 00:15:07,569 ♪ We'll win the game ♪ 286 00:15:07,604 --> 00:15:10,004 ♪ Of love! ♪ 287 00:15:13,109 --> 00:15:14,576 Exit to your left. 288 00:15:16,313 --> 00:15:17,812 That's too tight, Bill. 289 00:15:29,926 --> 00:15:31,292 Wonderful. 290 00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:32,860 Did it do it for you too? 291 00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:34,596 Not yet. 292 00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:36,998 Stand back. I said stand back. 293 00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:38,132 Who are you? 294 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,007 Oh, you were our star tonight. 295 00:15:46,042 --> 00:15:48,743 That's a performance I'll never forget. 296 00:15:48,778 --> 00:15:50,778 So what are you sophisticated ladies up to next? 297 00:15:50,814 --> 00:15:53,214 Well, I thought we might have an after show nosh 298 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,382 at the Penny Loafer. 299 00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:56,618 Invitation noted and accepted. 300 00:15:56,653 --> 00:15:58,119 Well, good, 301 00:15:58,154 --> 00:16:01,856 because getting a table for three is so much easier. 302 00:16:04,094 --> 00:16:06,294 Hey! You're not Nathan Lane! 303 00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:13,835 Here he comes. 304 00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,571 Aw, don't worry, Bart Jr., 305 00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:18,172 Daddy will get that for you. 306 00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:24,979 Why you little... 307 00:16:25,015 --> 00:16:27,148 Dad, no! You're gonna strangle a baby! 308 00:16:27,183 --> 00:16:28,850 Oh my God. 309 00:16:28,885 --> 00:16:30,184 That would've been horrible. 310 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:31,653 Why you little... 311 00:16:31,688 --> 00:16:32,720 Turning... 312 00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:34,222 a sweet little baby... 313 00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:35,690 into a you! 314 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:38,760 Bart, you're a great kid, 315 00:16:38,795 --> 00:16:40,328 but if I had another one like you, 316 00:16:40,363 --> 00:16:43,197 I'd hang myself from a highway overpass. 317 00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:46,000 Please, give your sister the precious gift 318 00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:47,902 of not being you. 319 00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,237 Okay, Dad. 320 00:16:49,272 --> 00:16:51,306 Mags, it was fun while it lasted. 321 00:16:53,243 --> 00:16:56,177 Huh? Ha! I didn't know it was that easy. 322 00:16:56,212 --> 00:16:59,814 Stop that! 323 00:16:59,849 --> 00:17:01,049 Sideshow Bob! 324 00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:06,621 So, Lisa, think we'll see any stars? 325 00:17:06,656 --> 00:17:08,690 Mom, it's a tourist trap. 326 00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:10,758 Celebrities don't actually come in here. 327 00:17:10,794 --> 00:17:12,927 Until today, right? 328 00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:14,228 Well, you never know. 329 00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:16,597 I'll ask the hostess if anyone's expected. 330 00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:18,666 Aw, she keeps doing this. 331 00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:19,967 I'm sorry, what? 332 00:17:20,003 --> 00:17:22,070 Every time she tries to fix things between us, 333 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:24,706 it just emphasizes how different we are. 334 00:17:24,741 --> 00:17:27,208 For what it's worth, my mom loved your show tonight. 335 00:17:27,243 --> 00:17:28,776 She pretty much sees the best in everything. 336 00:17:28,812 --> 00:17:30,445 Amazing, really, 337 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,381 considering she has a husband who randomly shows up to work, 338 00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:36,217 a son who, God bless him, is probably heading for the chair. 339 00:17:36,252 --> 00:17:38,019 And an ungrateful little girl 340 00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:40,421 who ignores her mother's frantic attempts at reconciliation, 341 00:17:40,457 --> 00:17:42,957 and tells family secrets to a total stranger. 342 00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:45,326 A total stranger The New York Times calls 343 00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:46,861 "a charming presence." 344 00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:48,796 You don't know me at all! 345 00:17:48,832 --> 00:17:51,566 But hardly anybody likes jazz. 346 00:17:51,601 --> 00:17:54,068 Why should I expect my mom to? 347 00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:56,471 That's right, you have to see the other side. 348 00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,906 The one that always makes you wrong. 349 00:17:58,942 --> 00:18:00,274 Mom. 350 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,877 Mom, I can't stay mad at you. 351 00:18:02,912 --> 00:18:04,779 I'm putting my pearls back on. 352 00:18:04,814 --> 00:18:06,781 Oh, thank you, sweetie. 353 00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:11,753 And I apologize for expressing my sincere feelings. 354 00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:19,961 Why don't you show us what you got, Lisa? 355 00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:22,196 That's right, I learned your name. 356 00:18:22,232 --> 00:18:25,767 It's not all about me, Andrew Rannells. 357 00:18:25,802 --> 00:18:27,902 20 bucks for ten minutes with the sax. 358 00:18:35,245 --> 00:18:37,011 Hey, that little turd can play. 359 00:18:37,046 --> 00:18:38,780 I'm just getting warmed up. 360 00:18:42,118 --> 00:18:43,785 ♪ Don't tell me not live ♪ 361 00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:45,119 ♪ Just sit and putter ♪ 362 00:18:45,155 --> 00:18:46,921 ♪ Life's candy and the sun's ♪ 363 00:18:46,956 --> 00:18:48,089 ♪ A ball of butter ♪ 364 00:18:48,124 --> 00:18:49,824 ♪ Don't bring around a cloud ♪ 365 00:18:49,859 --> 00:18:54,128 ♪ To rain on my parade ♪ 366 00:18:54,164 --> 00:18:55,229 My parade. 367 00:18:55,265 --> 00:18:56,330 Sorry. 368 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,099 ♪ Don't tell me not to fly ♪ 369 00:18:58,134 --> 00:18:59,834 ♪ I simply got to ♪ 370 00:18:59,869 --> 00:19:02,837 ♪ If someone takes a spill, ♪ it's me, and not you ♪ 371 00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:08,276 ♪ Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade ♪ 372 00:19:08,311 --> 00:19:10,211 ♪ Get ready for me, Love ♪ 373 00:19:10,246 --> 00:19:11,479 ♪ 'Cause I'm a "comer" ♪ 374 00:19:11,514 --> 00:19:13,147 ♪ I simply got to march ♪ 375 00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:14,449 ♪ My heart's a drummer ♪ 376 00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:15,750 ♪ Nobody, no ♪ 377 00:19:15,785 --> 00:19:17,084 ♪ Nobody ♪ 378 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,954 ♪ Is gonna rain on ♪ 379 00:19:19,989 --> 00:19:27,462 ♪ My parade... ♪ 380 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,099 Well, what do you think? 381 00:19:32,135 --> 00:19:34,202 My golden girl. 382 00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:40,793 Straight ahead is the the 19th Street Liquor Store, 383 00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:43,729 the epicenter of the 1967 riots, 384 00:19:43,763 --> 00:19:45,429 which never fully stopped. 385 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,133 Ahead is the high rise 386 00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:51,535 where State Senator Wilcox was shot in mid-air, 387 00:19:51,571 --> 00:19:53,437 as he plummeted to his death. 388 00:19:56,976 --> 00:19:58,308 Best trip of my life. 389 00:19:59,779 --> 00:20:05,079 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 390 00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:11,576 Shh!