1
00:00:02,492 --> 00:00:03,591
Whoa!
2
00:00:06,529 --> 00:00:07,795
D'oh!
3
00:00:12,691 --> 00:00:16,691
♪ The Simpsons 26x10 ♪
The Man Who Came to Be Dinner
Original Air Date on January 4, 2015
4
00:00:16,715 --> 00:00:23,215
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
5
00:00:23,380 --> 00:00:25,580
And in other news...
6
00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:36,357
Are we there yet?
7
00:00:36,393 --> 00:00:37,425
Are we there yet?
No.
8
00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:38,626
Are we there yet?
No!
9
00:00:38,662 --> 00:00:40,261
Are we there yet?
I said no!
10
00:00:40,297 --> 00:00:42,330
Are we there yet?
What's wrong with your ears?
11
00:00:42,365 --> 00:00:44,098
Are we there yet?
Look out the window!
12
00:00:44,134 --> 00:00:45,900
Are we there yet?
We're not there!
13
00:00:45,936 --> 00:00:47,869
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
14
00:00:47,904 --> 00:00:49,070
Okay.
15
00:00:49,105 --> 00:00:50,405
We're there. Finally.
16
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,606
Are we there yet?
17
00:00:51,641 --> 00:00:52,874
Huh?
Are we there yet?
18
00:00:52,909 --> 00:00:54,709
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
19
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:55,944
Damn technology!
20
00:00:55,979 --> 00:00:56,878
Are we there yet?
21
00:00:56,913 --> 00:00:57,946
Turn it off!
22
00:00:57,981 --> 00:00:59,447
We did.
This is us.
23
00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:00,982
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
24
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,552
Ooh, a spot.
25
00:01:04,587 --> 00:01:06,621
Okay, remember we're parked
26
00:01:06,656 --> 00:01:08,523
in the "Ethnic Princess"
section.
27
00:01:08,558 --> 00:01:10,558
Don't worry,
28
00:01:10,593 --> 00:01:13,294
this time I'm gonna write down
where I parked.
29
00:01:29,846 --> 00:01:31,579
Look! I see land!
30
00:01:35,518 --> 00:01:36,684
Mama!
31
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,720
We made it!
32
00:01:37,754 --> 00:01:39,220
Mama?
33
00:01:39,255 --> 00:01:41,289
No!
34
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,567
You planted that on me, man!
35
00:02:01,177 --> 00:02:03,578
Sorry. No outside pacifiers.
36
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:08,850
Fine, but I'm not paying
for the insurance.
37
00:02:08,885 --> 00:02:11,919
Oh, what the hell?
Give me the insurance.
38
00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:16,357
Come on, Maggie.
39
00:02:16,393 --> 00:02:19,627
The first ride we go on
will be for you.
40
00:02:21,231 --> 00:02:22,797
♪ Riding on a bug ♪
41
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:24,298
♪ Riding on a bug ♪
42
00:02:24,334 --> 00:02:25,933
♪ You'd rather be in school ♪
43
00:02:25,969 --> 00:02:27,969
♪ Than riding on a bug ♪
44
00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:29,404
♪ Riding on a bug ♪
45
00:02:29,439 --> 00:02:30,872
♪ Riding
on a bug ♪
46
00:02:30,907 --> 00:02:32,540
♪ You'd rather be in school ♪
Bug be damned!
47
00:02:32,575 --> 00:02:34,709
♪ Than riding on a bug ♪
Ay, caramba!
48
00:02:34,744 --> 00:02:36,044
♪ Don't get off the bug ♪
49
00:02:36,079 --> 00:02:37,779
♪ Don't get off
the bug ♪
50
00:02:37,814 --> 00:02:39,347
♪ Certain death awaits ♪
51
00:02:39,382 --> 00:02:41,149
♪ If you get off the bug ♪
52
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:45,453
♪ Welcome to the bug,
welcome to... ♪
53
00:02:51,661 --> 00:02:53,661
Whoa, this place
sure has changed
54
00:02:53,696 --> 00:02:56,297
since Dizznee bought the rights
to Cosmic Wars.
55
00:02:59,402 --> 00:03:01,402
Oh, geez!
56
00:03:03,506 --> 00:03:06,174
Purchased for
$4 billion, I was.
57
00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:09,644
Yet still hoodie ragged,
wear I do, this.
58
00:03:10,647 --> 00:03:12,213
Pirates of the Caribbean!
59
00:03:12,248 --> 00:03:13,548
Huh?
60
00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:14,916
They revamped this ride
61
00:03:14,951 --> 00:03:17,652
because of massive complaints
from two people.
62
00:03:18,421 --> 00:03:20,154
♪ No means no ♪
63
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:22,390
♪ We know now ♪
64
00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,225
♪ No means no ♪
65
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:26,694
♪ We know now... ♪
66
00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:28,863
Ha-ha!
67
00:03:28,898 --> 00:03:30,798
My cartoons weren't good,
68
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,066
they were just first!
69
00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:37,672
Ooh!
70
00:03:37,707 --> 00:03:39,707
Not enough ketchup.
71
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,115
We've been here six hours
72
00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:48,616
and the coolest thing
we've done
73
00:03:48,651 --> 00:03:50,184
is stand in the Cool Zone.
74
00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:53,354
The Cool Zone
is beyond maximum capacity.
75
00:03:53,389 --> 00:03:54,922
Disperse, disperse.
76
00:04:05,768 --> 00:04:06,901
How about that one?
77
00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:16,744
Ooh, I don't like
the end sounds on that.
78
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,151
By 1994, we'll have
79
00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:25,219
drive-in theaters on Neptune!
80
00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:28,489
Life magazine will be
400 pages long!
81
00:04:28,525 --> 00:04:30,958
And your telegrams
will be delivered
82
00:04:30,994 --> 00:04:32,660
by jetpa...
83
00:04:32,695 --> 00:04:34,195
Well, that's it.
84
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:35,730
We've visited every section
85
00:04:35,765 --> 00:04:38,499
including Churro County,
Toonton Abbey,
86
00:04:38,535 --> 00:04:40,301
but you know what
87
00:04:40,336 --> 00:04:41,702
we haven't had here?
88
00:04:41,738 --> 00:04:42,870
I'll tell you:
89
00:04:42,906 --> 00:04:44,672
fun. The kind of fun
90
00:04:44,707 --> 00:04:46,908
attractive families have
in commercials.
91
00:04:46,943 --> 00:04:49,610
Hey, Dad, I see a ride
that actually looks decent.
92
00:04:49,646 --> 00:04:51,012
I just want to sit down,
93
00:04:51,047 --> 00:04:53,748
but the line for the bench
is too long.
94
00:04:53,783 --> 00:04:56,751
No, look, it's a ride that
just opened and no one's there.
95
00:04:59,822 --> 00:05:01,389
Dad, I don't know about this.
96
00:05:01,424 --> 00:05:03,357
It's not on the park map.
97
00:05:03,393 --> 00:05:05,493
Lisa, those maps were drawn
98
00:05:05,528 --> 00:05:07,962
by the first explorers
of this theme park,
99
00:05:07,997 --> 00:05:09,397
hundreds of years ago.
100
00:05:09,432 --> 00:05:10,998
Let's go.
101
00:05:14,237 --> 00:05:16,337
Assume a sitting position.
102
00:05:16,372 --> 00:05:18,806
One seat per human.
103
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,441
Come on, start this thing!
104
00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:21,642
I'm not impressed.
105
00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:29,784
This is so fake.
106
00:05:36,326 --> 00:05:38,025
Uh-oh.
107
00:05:38,061 --> 00:05:39,160
Ooh!
108
00:05:39,195 --> 00:05:41,462
We've left Earth's atmosphere.
109
00:05:41,497 --> 00:05:43,164
Prove it.
110
00:05:44,546 --> 00:05:45,645
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
111
00:05:45,681 --> 00:05:46,947
Are we there yet?
112
00:05:46,982 --> 00:05:48,915
Welcome, humans.
113
00:05:48,951 --> 00:05:50,617
There is nothing to fear.
114
00:05:50,652 --> 00:05:52,452
I am Kang the Abductor.
115
00:05:52,488 --> 00:05:54,388
What the...?
This isn't Halloween.
116
00:05:54,423 --> 00:05:56,056
Are we truly in space?
117
00:05:56,091 --> 00:05:57,557
And if so, why?
118
00:05:57,593 --> 00:05:59,526
All will be revealed in time,
119
00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:01,495
unsuspecting humans.
120
00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,398
Why does the last thing
you say sound so ominous?
121
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,166
It's just the way we speak,
122
00:06:06,201 --> 00:06:07,868
easily reassured fool.
123
00:06:07,903 --> 00:06:08,935
Oh!
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00:06:08,971 --> 00:06:10,070
Yeah, that's good.
125
00:06:10,105 --> 00:06:11,238
We shall now attend
126
00:06:11,273 --> 00:06:14,474
to the complex calculations
of hyperspace.
127
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,216
Hey, Captain Squid!
128
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,085
If you really want
to be nice to us,
129
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,286
how about some snacks?
130
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:28,789
Whatever you say
shall materialize.
131
00:06:28,824 --> 00:06:31,091
Potato chips.
132
00:06:35,664 --> 00:06:36,797
D'oh!
133
00:06:36,832 --> 00:06:38,231
D'oh!
134
00:06:40,602 --> 00:06:41,701
D'oh!
135
00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:42,969
D'oh!
136
00:06:46,375 --> 00:06:47,874
D'oh! D'oh!
137
00:06:49,878 --> 00:06:51,144
D'oh!
138
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,412
D'oh!
139
00:06:52,448 --> 00:06:54,881
Stupid kid,
you ruin every trip!
140
00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:00,987
Hokey Smokes!
141
00:07:01,023 --> 00:07:02,923
I can't survive
in these conditions!
142
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:04,024
Whoa!
143
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,794
Hmm!
144
00:07:07,830 --> 00:07:09,996
Hmm!
145
00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:12,799
Homer, please.
146
00:07:12,835 --> 00:07:14,835
That's creeping me out.
147
00:07:17,439 --> 00:07:18,638
D'oh!
148
00:07:18,674 --> 00:07:20,006
Let me just...
149
00:07:20,042 --> 00:07:21,274
There you are,
150
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,210
just like new,
151
00:07:23,245 --> 00:07:26,012
not a freak of nature.
152
00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:29,549
Wow, look at all these knobs
and buttons.
153
00:07:29,585 --> 00:07:31,785
They are clearly
a superior race.
154
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:33,854
But maybe that means
they'll be nice to us.
155
00:07:33,889 --> 00:07:37,123
You mean like Europeans were
to the Native Americans?
156
00:07:37,159 --> 00:07:39,159
Or the Belgians were
to the Congo?
157
00:07:39,194 --> 00:07:40,327
That's right.
158
00:07:40,362 --> 00:07:41,795
Pick the only two times
in history
159
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,430
where things got messy.
160
00:07:43,465 --> 00:07:47,033
We have begun our descent
to our home planet.
161
00:07:47,069 --> 00:07:50,604
Please turn off all
portable electronic devices.
162
00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:51,671
Who's gonna stop me?
163
00:07:51,707 --> 00:07:53,039
Perhaps you haven't noticed
164
00:07:53,075 --> 00:07:54,341
the air marshal.
165
00:08:00,816 --> 00:08:03,517
Have your cups lost their suck?
166
00:08:03,552 --> 00:08:05,452
Slipped on some drool?
167
00:08:05,487 --> 00:08:08,121
Larry H. Zeeblezorp
will have you
168
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:10,323
rolling in space credits.
169
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:13,093
Wow. This place
is completely alien,
170
00:08:13,128 --> 00:08:14,961
but everything's in English.
171
00:08:14,997 --> 00:08:16,162
Just like Canada.
172
00:08:16,198 --> 00:08:17,564
Can I turn my phone on?
173
00:08:17,599 --> 00:08:18,632
Not yet.
174
00:08:20,202 --> 00:08:21,334
Now what?
175
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,537
I say we take
this bucket home!
176
00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:26,373
To Earth!
177
00:08:29,244 --> 00:08:30,443
Come on.
178
00:08:30,479 --> 00:08:32,512
Come on, you son of a...
179
00:08:32,548 --> 00:08:33,980
Thanks for flooding it.
180
00:08:38,220 --> 00:08:39,586
Take these pills,
181
00:08:39,621 --> 00:08:41,821
and you can breathe
our atmosphere.
182
00:08:41,857 --> 00:08:43,290
Are there any side effects?
183
00:08:43,325 --> 00:08:46,459
Yes, I'm afraid you will never
develop tentacles.
184
00:08:51,266 --> 00:08:54,501
Behold the wonders of our world.
185
00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:56,136
Purple landscape,
186
00:08:56,171 --> 00:08:57,904
purple trees.
187
00:08:57,940 --> 00:09:00,206
Yeah, you really went
with the purple theme.
188
00:09:00,242 --> 00:09:03,176
We can change it at will.
189
00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:07,013
Now look upward
to see our seven suns.
190
00:09:07,049 --> 00:09:09,950
So, you use
a lot of solar energy?
191
00:09:09,985 --> 00:09:12,285
We have federal rebates
for the panels,
192
00:09:12,321 --> 00:09:14,020
but few take advantage
of them.
193
00:09:15,257 --> 00:09:16,590
Now we shall show you
194
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:19,526
the sacred mysteries
of our life cycle.
195
00:09:19,561 --> 00:09:22,028
Behold, our miracle of birth.
196
00:09:22,064 --> 00:09:23,630
Each birth is followed
197
00:09:23,665 --> 00:09:26,266
by another birth
just seconds later.
198
00:09:32,908 --> 00:09:36,776
And finally,
a sadder slice of our lives.
199
00:09:36,812 --> 00:09:40,246
Gaze upon the dead
being dumped into a river
200
00:09:40,282 --> 00:09:42,449
of their own drool.
201
00:09:44,319 --> 00:09:45,919
Farewell, dear friends,
202
00:09:45,954 --> 00:09:48,622
on your sacred journey
to the chopper-upper.
203
00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:49,856
Aw.
204
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:51,758
Why are you sharing
all this with us?
205
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:55,228
Because we want you to
fully appreciate the planet...
206
00:09:55,263 --> 00:09:57,564
that you will never leave!
207
00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:01,768
Wait, are you telling me
208
00:10:01,803 --> 00:10:04,638
we're prisoners in this cage?
209
00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:12,112
Okay, take five.
210
00:10:22,874 --> 00:10:24,340
Don't look at them.
211
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:26,442
You can see those birds
any time.
212
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:35,184
Right hand red!
213
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,519
Aah!
I win.
214
00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,521
I think.
215
00:10:48,499 --> 00:10:51,901
Would you like one of our toys?
216
00:10:51,936 --> 00:10:54,136
Thanks.
217
00:10:54,172 --> 00:10:55,905
Why did you do that?
218
00:10:55,940 --> 00:10:57,506
I thought it was a ball.
219
00:10:57,542 --> 00:11:00,109
That is the one thing
it can never be.
220
00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:12,588
Don't be alarmed.
221
00:11:12,623 --> 00:11:14,623
I am a trained humanologist.
222
00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:16,625
Let me just check your heart.
223
00:11:16,661 --> 00:11:18,094
All well and good.
224
00:11:18,129 --> 00:11:19,862
You obviously exercise.
225
00:11:19,897 --> 00:11:21,097
See, Marge?
226
00:11:21,132 --> 00:11:22,572
Anything you need?
Perhaps you'd care
227
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,034
to have your ink gland
expressed.
228
00:11:25,069 --> 00:11:26,335
You're the doctor.
229
00:11:26,371 --> 00:11:27,436
Homer!
230
00:11:27,472 --> 00:11:29,238
You have to stop
dropping your pants
231
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:31,640
for everyone who claims
they're a doctor.
232
00:11:31,676 --> 00:11:32,676
Fine.
233
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,143
Now, I am here to complete
234
00:11:34,178 --> 00:11:37,313
your knowledge of our
great and generous species.
235
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,648
Are you the guy that talks nice
before they kill us?
236
00:11:39,684 --> 00:11:41,450
Eh, we'll come back to that.
237
00:11:41,486 --> 00:11:43,853
As young thinglings,
we are schooled
238
00:11:43,888 --> 00:11:45,788
in the wisdom of the universe.
239
00:11:45,823 --> 00:11:48,424
Physics, mathematics, FORTRAN...
240
00:11:48,459 --> 00:11:51,360
the greatest
of the programming languages!
241
00:11:51,396 --> 00:11:54,163
And now the part that is
difficult to tell you.
242
00:11:54,198 --> 00:11:56,232
At the end of a life well-lived,
243
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,934
there is one final ritual.
244
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:01,337
We must eat one of you.
245
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,339
But we'll let you have
246
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,107
the fun of picking which one.
247
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,645
There's only one fair solution.
248
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,514
We have to put it to a vote.
249
00:12:11,549 --> 00:12:12,948
Before we vote,
I'd just like to point out
250
00:12:12,984 --> 00:12:15,451
in Sophie's Choice,
she saved the boy.
251
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:22,958
This isn't a happy thing!
252
00:12:22,994 --> 00:12:25,227
Here you go.
253
00:12:25,263 --> 00:12:26,395
Okay.
254
00:12:26,431 --> 00:12:27,431
What the...?!
255
00:12:27,465 --> 00:12:28,564
D'oh!
256
00:12:28,599 --> 00:12:31,434
Well, we haven't heard
from Maggie yet.
257
00:12:31,469 --> 00:12:32,935
Now, what the...?
258
00:12:32,970 --> 00:12:35,171
Gibberish, pure gibberish.
259
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,239
You're the last vote, Homie.
260
00:12:45,550 --> 00:12:47,716
'Tis a far,
far better thing I do
261
00:12:47,752 --> 00:12:50,186
than I have ever done before.
262
00:12:50,221 --> 00:12:53,222
Hey, look, Maggie made you
a farewell card.
263
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:58,127
That kid's got talent,
but come on!
264
00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,596
Now do you see why
I'm a vegetarian, Dad?
265
00:13:00,631 --> 00:13:01,931
I get it, Lisa.
266
00:13:01,966 --> 00:13:03,732
I finally get it.
267
00:13:03,768 --> 00:13:05,568
You do get a last meal.
268
00:13:05,603 --> 00:13:07,269
I'd like rabbit,
lots of rabbit.
269
00:13:07,305 --> 00:13:08,404
Ah.
270
00:13:09,907 --> 00:13:12,808
Welcome to the World Series
of Chomping.
271
00:13:12,844 --> 00:13:14,510
This annual consumption ritual
272
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:18,047
is brought to you by scalp salt.
273
00:13:18,082 --> 00:13:19,915
From the same
wonderful folks who make
274
00:13:19,951 --> 00:13:22,785
elbow pepper and groin gravy.
275
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:25,521
Here comes sacrifice
Homer Simpson.
276
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:27,790
His hobbies include
sitting, lying down,
277
00:13:27,825 --> 00:13:30,259
and reaching for things
without success.
278
00:13:30,294 --> 00:13:33,362
Come on, folks, let's put
your eyelids together!
279
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:39,702
Doesn't your culture say
anything about mercy?
280
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,904
Madam, you are speaking
to the kindest
281
00:13:41,939 --> 00:13:44,140
and gentlest of us all.
282
00:13:44,175 --> 00:13:45,175
Let's see:
283
00:13:45,209 --> 00:13:47,042
skull crusher, skin peeler,
284
00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:48,744
eyeball popper,
285
00:13:48,779 --> 00:13:50,146
scream collector...
286
00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:52,882
Got it.
287
00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,618
Our elder Klaunax has been
chosen for our ceremonial
288
00:13:55,653 --> 00:13:57,086
first bite,
289
00:13:57,121 --> 00:13:58,521
after which Homer Simpson
will be dipped
290
00:13:58,556 --> 00:14:01,290
into a spicy cheese fondue.
291
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:02,558
"Fondue"?
292
00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:06,128
Welcome to a faculty
dinner party in 1979.
293
00:14:06,164 --> 00:14:08,764
Silence! And celebrate the
Solstice of Slobbering
294
00:14:08,799 --> 00:14:12,401
to the sounds of the
Rigel 7 Children's Choir.
295
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,904
♪ Tasty creature ♪
296
00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:17,640
♪ We salute you ♪
297
00:14:18,743 --> 00:14:20,910
♪ For your juicy ♪
298
00:14:20,945 --> 00:14:23,913
♪ Sacrifice. ♪
299
00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:30,686
A transporter beam!
300
00:14:30,721 --> 00:14:33,989
Someone is trying
to steal our sacrifice.
301
00:14:34,025 --> 00:14:35,124
Yes!
302
00:14:35,159 --> 00:14:36,225
This mysterious tube can
303
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:37,493
only lead to somewhere good.
304
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,461
So long,
you stupid slobbering...
305
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:40,829
What the...?!
306
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:46,468
And away we go!
307
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:52,319
Way to go, George Mucus. The
fattest, stupidest man on Earth
308
00:14:52,319 --> 00:14:54,620
slipped right through
your sticky tentacles.
309
00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:55,787
Why, you little...!
310
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,025
What is this baffling construct?
311
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,193
It's called a knot.
312
00:15:01,228 --> 00:15:02,527
A not what?
313
00:15:02,563 --> 00:15:04,029
"Knot" with a "K."
314
00:15:04,064 --> 00:15:05,931
Ks are silent?
Really?
315
00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:08,533
I've been saying kitchen.
316
00:15:08,569 --> 00:15:10,202
- That's correct.
- Huh?
317
00:15:12,206 --> 00:15:14,706
Do not fear.
You are among friends.
318
00:15:14,742 --> 00:15:16,408
We are the resistance.
319
00:15:16,443 --> 00:15:20,045
We don't believe in the barbaric
consumption of other species.
320
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,647
So, what do you eat--
space broccoli?
321
00:15:21,682 --> 00:15:23,915
Space broccoli has the
most advanced feelings
322
00:15:23,951 --> 00:15:25,984
of any creature
in the universe.
323
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:29,821
I stepped on a piece once,
and it cried for six years.
324
00:15:29,857 --> 00:15:31,757
Frankly, they are a
little full of themselves.
325
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:33,592
Who are you talking about?
326
00:15:33,627 --> 00:15:35,294
Um, earth broccoli.
327
00:15:35,329 --> 00:15:37,095
Yeah, I hate those guys.
328
00:15:37,131 --> 00:15:38,497
They think they're so big.
329
00:15:38,532 --> 00:15:39,731
Let's go, Homer.
330
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:40,999
Where are you taking me?
331
00:15:41,035 --> 00:15:44,236
You are about to behold
the secret rebel base.
332
00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:50,042
Aah!
333
00:15:50,077 --> 00:15:51,576
Whee!
Yeah!
334
00:15:51,612 --> 00:15:52,944
Why are they dancing?
335
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,680
Shouldn't they be
making weapons?
336
00:15:54,715 --> 00:15:56,081
This is excellent training
337
00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:59,151
for the party we will throw
when our rebellion succeeds.
338
00:16:01,789 --> 00:16:04,323
Oh, turn the music back on.
339
00:16:04,358 --> 00:16:06,325
In a minute!
340
00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:09,061
First, noble human Homer Simpson
341
00:16:09,096 --> 00:16:12,898
will explain his primitive
yet beautiful culture.
342
00:16:14,768 --> 00:16:18,503
But perhaps Earth's greatest
achievement is moon rocks.
343
00:16:18,539 --> 00:16:19,938
Oh, radio.
344
00:16:20,973 --> 00:16:24,241
Truly a species
with much to offer.
345
00:16:24,277 --> 00:16:26,377
Seriously? Are we listening
to the same guy?
346
00:16:26,412 --> 00:16:27,511
Silence!
347
00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:29,980
Homer, we will get you
back to Earth.
348
00:16:30,016 --> 00:16:31,248
What about my family?
349
00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:32,416
Why do you care?
350
00:16:32,452 --> 00:16:34,819
It's just your sex
mate and spermlings.
351
00:16:34,854 --> 00:16:36,120
"Sex mate"?
352
00:16:36,155 --> 00:16:38,022
Clearly you've
never been married.
353
00:16:38,057 --> 00:16:39,590
But it's great, I'm telling you.
354
00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:43,327
Unfortunately, we
only had the means
355
00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:44,929
to build the spaceship for one.
356
00:16:44,964 --> 00:16:47,264
We spent most of our
money on the party.
357
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,533
Well, it is a great party.
358
00:16:49,569 --> 00:16:52,336
The pod is equipped to fulfill
your deepest desires.
359
00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:53,971
Just concentrate.
360
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:04,315
Suddenly, this trip
has gotten interesting.
361
00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:09,053
What the...?!
362
00:17:09,088 --> 00:17:10,521
Oh, who am I kidding?
363
00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:13,324
I couldn't enjoy calorie one
without my family.
364
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:14,992
I'm going back to save them!
365
00:17:15,027 --> 00:17:18,362
Aw, if I could
just live inside
366
00:17:18,397 --> 00:17:22,333
that head, so full
of noble thoughts.
367
00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:29,273
The golden rule states
if the chosen one escapes,
368
00:17:29,308 --> 00:17:32,176
his family is eaten as forfeit.
369
00:17:32,211 --> 00:17:34,645
What do your rules say now?
370
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,113
That all will be eaten.
371
00:17:36,149 --> 00:17:37,314
D'oh!
372
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:41,185
This system is
really rigged against us.
373
00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:45,589
You forgot to glaze me.
374
00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,025
No, I didn't.
You licked it off!
375
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:51,962
I think somebody's afraid
to admit he's out of glaze.
376
00:17:58,571 --> 00:18:00,704
Glaze, please.
377
00:18:03,743 --> 00:18:05,276
Make way for the queen!
378
00:18:09,248 --> 00:18:11,382
I shall take the first bite.
379
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:13,117
It is quite an honor.
380
00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:14,785
What's that?
381
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,720
Part of your magnificent behind.
382
00:18:16,756 --> 00:18:18,722
We sliced it off
when you were sleeping.
383
00:18:18,758 --> 00:18:20,624
It does look delicious.
384
00:18:28,301 --> 00:18:30,301
What is it, my queen?
385
00:18:30,336 --> 00:18:34,138
This ass is most disagreeable.
386
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:38,576
The creatures are composed
387
00:18:38,611 --> 00:18:41,645
of completely
indigestible toxins.
388
00:18:43,883 --> 00:18:45,950
These humans have
been poisoned
389
00:18:45,985 --> 00:18:49,153
by their unhealthy
fast-food diet.
390
00:18:49,188 --> 00:18:52,289
Um, are you sure you don't want
to try me again?
391
00:18:52,325 --> 00:18:55,059
You? Your lunches of
hummus and rice cakes
392
00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:58,162
combine in your stomach to form
formaldehyde and animal fat.
393
00:18:58,197 --> 00:18:59,930
Really? But I thought...
394
00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:03,434
You'd be better off
chewing tobacco like the boy.
395
00:19:03,469 --> 00:19:04,168
What?!
396
00:19:04,203 --> 00:19:05,336
Dad said I could try it.
397
00:19:05,371 --> 00:19:06,637
Homer!
398
00:19:06,672 --> 00:19:09,974
Don't you people realize
your queen is dying?
399
00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:13,844
I'm afraid the lardo speaks
the truth, Your Majesty.
400
00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,279
It's all right.
401
00:19:15,314 --> 00:19:18,382
I have seen many glories
and have only one regret.
402
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,618
That my breasts aren't bigger.
403
00:19:20,653 --> 00:19:22,019
I don't see any breasts.
404
00:19:22,054 --> 00:19:23,487
And those will be
405
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:27,024
the last words I ever hear.
406
00:19:28,728 --> 00:19:30,060
Useless humans!
407
00:19:30,096 --> 00:19:31,929
We will send you back
to your planet,
408
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:34,098
and your memories will fade.
409
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:37,868
So, it will be as if none
of this ever happened!
410
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:45,209
Captain's log, stardate 65848.2.
411
00:19:45,244 --> 00:19:48,012
After successfully conquering
the Rigelians...
412
00:19:48,047 --> 00:19:49,980
Right, "conquering."
413
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:51,849
Well, at least
Maggie can fly us home.
414
00:19:51,884 --> 00:19:54,118
Thank God it's just
like her busy box.
415
00:19:57,390 --> 00:20:00,491
Well, I guess we've learned that
of all the countless planets
416
00:20:00,526 --> 00:20:02,393
in the universe, we have evolved
417
00:20:02,428 --> 00:20:05,462
into the most inedible species.
418
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:07,698
Like three-bean
salad at a barbecue,
419
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:10,200
we will remain untouched.
420
00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:13,871
We're receiving a transmission
from an unknown source.
421
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:19,276
Hey, I finally tracked you down!
422
00:20:19,312 --> 00:20:21,679
My oatmeal's gone cold.
423
00:20:21,714 --> 00:20:23,547
The cat ate my heart medicine.
424
00:20:23,582 --> 00:20:25,082
I'm engaged to my nurse...
Set a course, Mr. Maggie.
425
00:20:25,117 --> 00:20:27,051
Anywhere but home.
426
00:20:27,087 --> 00:20:33,587
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
427
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:36,026
D'oh!