1 00:00:02,411 --> 00:00:06,296 ♪ 2 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,659 Everything here is made out of garbage. 3 00:00:11,661 --> 00:00:15,163 Upcycling is at the very core of the modern maker movement. 4 00:00:15,165 --> 00:00:17,090 It's very responsible. 5 00:00:17,092 --> 00:00:19,426 Like these doggie chew toys made out of... 6 00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:21,169 used retainers? 7 00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:23,096 Ugh! Too responsible! 8 00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,639 (laughing) 9 00:00:24,641 --> 00:00:27,192 Hey, guys. You're craft fair fans, too? 10 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,087 Ew, no. We're doing a photo scavenger hunt 11 00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:31,846 for Francine's birthday party. 12 00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:33,924 We need a picture of something sad. 13 00:00:33,926 --> 00:00:35,850 I wonder why I wasn't invited. 14 00:00:35,852 --> 00:00:39,872 'Cause you're a party narc who ruins everybody's fun. 15 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,541 What? When have I ever done that? 16 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,377 You once deflated a bouncy house 'cause you smelled mildew. 17 00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:46,528 You shut down a pool party 18 00:00:46,530 --> 00:00:48,288 'cause the diving board wasn't code. 19 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:49,548 You stopped a barbecue 20 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,884 because the fire extinguishers were expired. 21 00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,944 Okay, okay, I get it. 22 00:00:53,946 --> 00:00:55,629 Basically, you're a wet blanket. 23 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:57,872 That's not true, she's more like a blanket 24 00:00:57,874 --> 00:01:00,634 that tattles and kills all joy. 25 00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:02,377 Ooh, that's sad. 26 00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:03,470 (laughs) 27 00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:05,289 (groans) 28 00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:08,141 Oh, what a beautiful little box. 29 00:01:08,143 --> 00:01:09,626 I'll take this. 30 00:01:09,628 --> 00:01:11,144 You'll need this polish. 31 00:01:11,146 --> 00:01:13,313 It's my blend of secret ingredients, 32 00:01:13,315 --> 00:01:17,058 including carnauba wax. That-that one's not a secret. 33 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,802 Okay, I'll take both. 34 00:01:18,804 --> 00:01:20,137 I have to explain to the box 35 00:01:20,139 --> 00:01:21,896 that it's going to live with you now. 36 00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:23,749 Okay, baby, you're gonna go... 37 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,109 Are you seeing this? 38 00:01:26,111 --> 00:01:28,069 Are you seeing that? 39 00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:30,831 (chuckles) Man bun. 40 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:33,333 Pathetic old dude thinks death won't find him 41 00:01:33,335 --> 00:01:35,502 if he has a freaky hair lump. 42 00:01:35,504 --> 00:01:38,388 (chuckles) Stupid bun. 43 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,674 (shrieks) 44 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:42,159 Homer, Marge! 45 00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:44,995 You finally get to meet my special lady. 46 00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,847 This is Blythe. 47 00:01:46,849 --> 00:01:49,499 Special lady? Since when? 48 00:01:49,501 --> 00:01:53,186 Oh. Oh, it's been almost six months. 49 00:01:53,188 --> 00:01:55,114 And we're just hearing about it now? 50 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,358 What do you mean? I left you tons of messages. 51 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,360 I thought those were all butt-dials. 52 00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:01,436 (beeps) 53 00:02:01,438 --> 00:02:03,513 GRAMPA: Homer, I've met someone... 54 00:02:03,515 --> 00:02:05,106 -(beeps) -I'm in lo... 55 00:02:05,108 --> 00:02:07,017 -(beeps) -Blythe and I are getting seri... 56 00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:12,022 -(beeps) -I fell out of the senior van and I'm lost... 57 00:02:12,024 --> 00:02:13,298 How did you two meet? 58 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,950 I was hired by the Retirement Castle 59 00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:20,305 to cleanse auras with a therapeutic sound bath. 60 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,457 But I don't want inner peace. 61 00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:23,216 (grunts) 62 00:02:23,218 --> 00:02:26,145 (chiming harmoniously) 63 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,464 GRAMPA: But when she started gongin' her gongs, 64 00:02:29,466 --> 00:02:33,894 it felt like I stuck my tongue in love's power outlet. 65 00:02:33,896 --> 00:02:37,214 (moaning): Oh, wow. 66 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,658 BLYTHE: As Abe vibrated past, 67 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,553 there was something inside him that called to me. 68 00:02:43,555 --> 00:02:46,665 GRAMPA: It was the bullet I fired into my foot during the war 69 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,575 to get out of KP duty. 70 00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:51,395 (gasps) 71 00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:53,230 (sighs) 72 00:02:53,232 --> 00:02:55,257 (both moaning) 73 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,993 We're not wasting any more time. 74 00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,995 I'm moving in with her. 75 00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:04,090 I finally found true love. 76 00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:06,426 And I finally won't have to pay 77 00:03:06,428 --> 00:03:09,930 for your retirement home. (cries happily) 78 00:03:09,932 --> 00:03:12,507 (chimes ringing) 79 00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,860 You have so many chimes. 80 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,178 You're not going to miss any wind. 81 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:19,423 Ooh, this is my son Calvin. 82 00:03:19,425 --> 00:03:21,758 Felicitous greetings on this day to you. 83 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,518 That's how this one guy talked in Star Trek 84 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,111 when they went to a Shakespeare planet. 85 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:26,705 It's how I'm saying hello these days. 86 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,374 Oh, uh, hello-eth to you. 87 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,192 What a charmer. 88 00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:33,545 -How old is Calvin? -11. 89 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,714 Hmm, so you had him when you were... 90 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,366 Oh, he's adopted. 91 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:42,387 Cute kid, but, man, my dad's gonna eat him alive. 92 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,892 Hey, there's my guy. 93 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,227 Wha? 94 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,229 Uppies! 95 00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:53,565 (gasps) 96 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,959 He never gave me uppies. 97 00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:57,986 (groaning) 98 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,967 Abe and Calvin love to cook for company. 99 00:04:03,969 --> 00:04:05,652 Final looks on the plating, chef. 100 00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:08,822 That one needs a sweep of balsamic, chef. 101 00:04:08,824 --> 00:04:11,308 Nobody's refilled my water glass. 102 00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,994 This restaurant would get zero Michelin tires. 103 00:04:13,996 --> 00:04:16,663 Tonight we've made for you a roasted chicken 104 00:04:16,665 --> 00:04:18,239 with apricot and fennel. 105 00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:20,817 -MARGE: Mmm. -How are we enjoying the first bites? 106 00:04:20,819 --> 00:04:22,243 Hmm... 107 00:04:22,245 --> 00:04:25,171 Well, I'm not getting fennel at all. 108 00:04:25,173 --> 00:04:26,840 So that's a fail. 109 00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:28,158 (whispering): Don't be rude. 110 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,659 (shrieks) Shelf rat! 111 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:33,087 Well, they're both rodents, but this little dude 112 00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:36,458 is a Sciuridae, or squirrel, if you prefer. 113 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:39,111 I'd prefer that it not stare into my soul 114 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,445 like it knows my sins. 115 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:44,283 Calvin does taxidermy. That's one of his pieces. 116 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:48,845 He's a rising star in the field. He takes classes with adults. 117 00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:50,438 You can't even see the tire tracks 118 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,291 -on this guy anymore. -(alarm beeps) 119 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,518 Uhp, time for your glocky-drops, Abe. 120 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:58,630 Aw, that stuff makes me blinder than an umpire in a mineshaft. 121 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:02,801 You know the drill, commodore. Head back, eyes open. 122 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:06,196 BOTH: Rain, rain. 123 00:05:06,198 --> 00:05:08,122 Windshield wipers! 124 00:05:08,124 --> 00:05:10,267 (Calvin hums happily) 125 00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,720 Here you go, sweetie. 126 00:05:13,722 --> 00:05:18,132 We made that chestnut stuffing I know you love. 127 00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:21,653 BLYTHE: Abe, you're feeding the thermostat again. 128 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,323 D'oh! Damn glocky-drops! 129 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:29,052 Yo, our grandfather Abe Simpson moved out, 130 00:05:29,054 --> 00:05:31,330 but left his... (shudders) denture cup. 131 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:32,889 Do you have a lost and found? 132 00:05:32,891 --> 00:05:34,558 Please say you don't have a lost and found. 133 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,817 Oh, Abe's moved out? 134 00:05:35,819 --> 00:05:38,244 Well, his room is paid up for the next two weeks. 135 00:05:38,246 --> 00:05:40,747 Uh, actually, I misspoke. 136 00:05:40,749 --> 00:05:44,992 Um, Abe is still using the room. Using it like crazy. 137 00:05:44,994 --> 00:05:46,011 (Lisa exclaims) 138 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,239 We own this place for two whole weeks. 139 00:05:49,241 --> 00:05:51,091 -Hmm. -We can take a shower in a chair, 140 00:05:51,093 --> 00:05:53,518 -flush the toilet a million times... -Interesting. 141 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,688 Oh, you're gonna tell Mom and Dad about this, aren't you? 142 00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,859 Nope, this is one whistle I'm not gonna blow. 143 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:05,422 Instead, what if we used this room 144 00:06:05,424 --> 00:06:08,592 to throw the greatest slumber party ever? 145 00:06:08,594 --> 00:06:10,443 No rules, no limits, 146 00:06:10,445 --> 00:06:14,206 and, dare I say it, no slumbering. 147 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,208 (straining): Tell me more. 148 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:21,380 Also, that kid is not that good of a cook. 149 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,048 There's such a thing as chicken being 150 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,050 too tender and juicy, you know? 151 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:28,553 Our wood is really loving this carnauba stuff. 152 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,798 And what kind of kid does taxidermy? 153 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:33,332 Dead animals are meant to be 154 00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:35,394 poked with a stick, end of story. 155 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:38,880 Homer, you've been complaining about Calvin for three days. 156 00:06:38,882 --> 00:06:41,233 Why are you so obsessed with him? 157 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,627 What? I don't think about him at all. 158 00:06:43,629 --> 00:06:47,054 But did you notice how he asked to be excused? 159 00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:49,408 That speaks to a guilty conscience. 160 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,575 And another thing. 161 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,318 (lisping): Why is my tongue swelling up? 162 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,562 -(gasps) -What is this rash? 163 00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:56,473 Oh, my gosh. 164 00:06:56,475 --> 00:07:00,160 You must be having an allergic reaction to the carnauba wax. 165 00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:02,570 Well, stop using it! 166 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:05,757 I-I've rubbed it into the floors, the windows. 167 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:09,076 Every wood surface in the house has been carnauba'd! 168 00:07:09,078 --> 00:07:11,096 It'll take weeks to dissipate! 169 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,432 But where do I go to breathe? 170 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,842 (groans) 171 00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:18,085 Yay, you're here. 172 00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:20,272 I was putting up glow-in-the-dark stars. 173 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,015 I'll let you distribute the other half, 174 00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:24,276 since you're kind of like my brother now. 175 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,428 Brother? (scoffs) I'm a grown man. 176 00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:30,507 Half? This is barely a third. No fair! 177 00:07:30,509 --> 00:07:31,450 Dad! 178 00:07:36,031 --> 00:07:39,365 Okay, Harry Potter chapter read, pillow fluffed... 179 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:42,461 Scary German puppet turned to face the wall. 180 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,945 GRAMPA: Uh-huh. 181 00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:47,466 And now, a good-night kiss. 182 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,025 Mmm... 183 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,360 Watch your feet! 184 00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:53,196 (both grunting, groaning) 185 00:07:53,198 --> 00:07:55,048 -Night, Calvin. -(light switch clicks) 186 00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:59,126 Psst. Homer. Want to play 20 questions? 187 00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:02,764 Okay. Question number one: Shut up. 188 00:08:02,766 --> 00:08:04,465 (laughs) You're funny. 189 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,042 We should go out on our bikes tomorrow. 190 00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:09,303 I know this place by the nuclear plant that has the best jumps. 191 00:08:09,305 --> 00:08:10,989 Oh, wait. Did you bring your bike? 192 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,383 I don't have a bike, I have a car. 193 00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:15,552 And I don't play at the nuclear plant, 194 00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:19,998 I work there because I am a grown-up. 195 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,000 Abe says I'm mature for my age. 196 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,893 When we check in at a restaurant, 197 00:08:23,895 --> 00:08:25,061 he gives the host my name, 198 00:08:25,063 --> 00:08:27,363 so I'm practically a grown-up, too. 199 00:08:27,365 --> 00:08:29,341 No, you're not. You're a pants-wetting baby. 200 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:32,326 (sputters) That is patently untrue. 201 00:08:32,328 --> 00:08:34,012 I have excellent bladder control. 202 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,923 If anything, I hold it in too long. 203 00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:38,091 Pants-wetting baby! 204 00:08:38,093 --> 00:08:40,519 Stop lying! (grunts) 205 00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:43,580 (gasps) You threw that zipper-first! 206 00:08:43,582 --> 00:08:44,597 (grunts) 207 00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:48,342 (gasps) My orrery! Eat gas giants! 208 00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:51,512 I'll give you a gas giant! 209 00:08:51,514 --> 00:08:52,438 (both grunting) 210 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,850 Stop squirming and let me fart... 211 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:58,036 -No! -...on your head! 212 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,296 Never! (grunts) 213 00:09:00,298 --> 00:09:01,355 -Ow! -(shouts) 214 00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:05,285 I welcomed you into my home, 215 00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:09,105 my room, where I keep my artifacts. 216 00:09:09,107 --> 00:09:12,942 But you, sir, are a butt brain! 217 00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:16,296 From here on out, it's war. 218 00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:17,705 (groans) 219 00:09:17,707 --> 00:09:20,041 ♪ 220 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:21,685 -(toilet flushes) -(Calvin shrieks) 221 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,562 (Homer shouts) 222 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:24,646 (laughs) 223 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,291 (stammers, grunts) 224 00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,651 ♪ 225 00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:32,696 (whimpers) 226 00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,244 (gasps) 227 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,728 (groans) 228 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:41,896 (Homer chuckles) 229 00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,323 ♪ 230 00:09:43,325 --> 00:09:45,975 -(Calvin laughs) -(screaming) 231 00:09:45,977 --> 00:09:48,295 (yelling) 232 00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:51,172 (chuckles) 233 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:55,985 Thank you, Mother. Pickup is noon tomorrow. 234 00:09:55,987 --> 00:09:58,722 Don't be early. Bye, now. 235 00:10:00,325 --> 00:10:03,435 Drive away. Don't look back. 236 00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:06,938 (muffled music playing) 237 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,499 ♪ 238 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,335 Welcome to our pop-up sleepover. 239 00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:14,762 Do you have the "birthday gift"? 240 00:10:14,764 --> 00:10:17,523 One $25 gift card. 241 00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,159 (Bart chuckles) 242 00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:24,347 Take off your shoes, we have unlimited bed-jumping. 243 00:10:24,349 --> 00:10:26,850 (laughing hysterically) 244 00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:29,035 I've never felt so alive! 245 00:10:29,037 --> 00:10:33,189 We got PG-13 movies, rated "M" videogames. 246 00:10:33,191 --> 00:10:34,782 What if Mother calls? 247 00:10:34,784 --> 00:10:38,361 We got Milhouse in the closet standing by. Guy's a pro. 248 00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:40,972 (imitating adult): Oh, hello, Wendell's mom. 249 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:44,125 Yes, I will remind him to wear his night guard, 250 00:10:44,127 --> 00:10:47,270 because I am another parent. (normal voice): Love you. 251 00:10:48,556 --> 00:10:53,877 Lis, take a moment. We did this. You did this. 252 00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:56,229 (clamoring, laughter) 253 00:10:56,231 --> 00:10:58,398 -♪ -(Nelson grunts) 254 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,033 (laughing) 255 00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:04,904 I am Lisa, bringer of fun. 256 00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:07,666 Driest of blankets. 257 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,151 (car rattles) 258 00:11:10,153 --> 00:11:12,061 Must you hit every bump? 259 00:11:12,063 --> 00:11:13,062 (tires screech) 260 00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:14,063 -Oh! -(car rattles) 261 00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,398 Oops. 262 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,825 I make a million dollars a year. Did you know that? 263 00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,585 -No, you don't. -Oh, yeah? 264 00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:21,829 Then why do I have a ton of DVDs? 265 00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:23,506 What's a DVD? 266 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,243 Ugh, your car smells like fried chicken. 267 00:11:27,245 --> 00:11:29,854 No, I smell like fried chicken. 268 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,932 Can you breathe through your mouth? 269 00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:35,084 Your nose is squeaky. 270 00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:38,029 (breathes loudly) 271 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,698 (breathes louder) 272 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,032 Yeah? 273 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,776 (both breathing loudly) 274 00:11:43,778 --> 00:11:46,763 (both wheezing) 275 00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:48,665 (both straining and wheezing) 276 00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:51,859 (Calvin coughs) 277 00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,628 (Homer whimpers) 278 00:12:01,112 --> 00:12:04,797 Wow, Calvin, what a great start. 279 00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:08,301 But how would a pelican have access to a freshwater fish? 280 00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:11,563 (laughs) Well, that's the joke! 281 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:13,380 (sarcastic laughter) 282 00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:16,626 Oh, so funny to murder innocent water birds. 283 00:12:16,628 --> 00:12:19,904 Uh, it died of natural causes, ding-dong. 284 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,131 I have a network of park ranger friends 285 00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,633 who save dead animals for me. 286 00:12:23,635 --> 00:12:27,394 So you're not a psychopath, just a weirdo. Got it. 287 00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:29,989 It's always sad when an animal dies, 288 00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:33,977 but this pelican gets to speak to the world as art. 289 00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:36,162 I was inspired to make this 290 00:12:36,164 --> 00:12:38,590 after Abe told me about his time in the war. 291 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:42,427 His stories are so cool, but disturbing. 292 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,669 I will not sit here 293 00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:47,098 and have you call my father's stories cool! 294 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,158 They're meandering and endless. 295 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,829 I'm going to Moe's, where people know what's boring. 296 00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:54,330 (scoffs) 297 00:12:54,332 --> 00:12:55,999 And it's not just taxidermy, 298 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,443 Calvin's got a million creepy hobbies. 299 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,779 And my dad thinks they're all great. 300 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,765 When I was his age, I was cleaning pool covers from below. 301 00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:08,286 Yeah, going house to house with my scrub brush and Speedo. 302 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,289 I stuck googly eyes on shells and sold them at the beach. 303 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,607 Till my dad told me to knock it off 304 00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:15,794 because people would think I was a freak. 305 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,946 Yeah, my pop also told me to lay low. 306 00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:20,614 Literally. We were gravediggers. 307 00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:23,209 We took turns sleeping in open graves. 308 00:13:23,211 --> 00:13:25,136 Heh. Nothin' builds character 309 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,714 like waking up to a coffin being lowered on top of youse. 310 00:13:28,716 --> 00:13:30,600 To unprocessed trauma. 311 00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:35,647 -Hi, Lisa! -She waved to us! 312 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:36,648 (both laughing) 313 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,132 Our sleepover is a hit. 314 00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:39,892 We have the room for one more weekend. 315 00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:42,228 We're gonna be gift card thousand-aires. 316 00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:45,064 No, Bart, we have to reinvest in our next party. 317 00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:46,491 We have to top ourselves. 318 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:50,069 I'm thinking face painters, walk-around SpongeBob, 319 00:13:50,071 --> 00:13:52,722 one of those pools you can surf in. 320 00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:56,334 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you chain-sucking lollypops? 321 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,077 Just need a little something 322 00:13:58,079 --> 00:14:00,004 'cause I didn't sleep much last night. 323 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,489 I was pricing mashed potato stations. 324 00:14:02,491 --> 00:14:06,493 Lisa, in the non-weekend world, you have to have a bedtime. 325 00:14:06,495 --> 00:14:08,996 I don't want to live in the non-weekend world. 326 00:14:08,998 --> 00:14:11,332 We've only got one more chance 327 00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:14,686 to scrawl our names across the slumber party sky. 328 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,729 I'll sleep when I'm nine. 329 00:14:17,765 --> 00:14:19,357 (groans) 330 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:25,512 (grunting) 331 00:14:25,514 --> 00:14:27,181 Hmm? Hmm. 332 00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,867 (imitating Calvin): Look at me, I'm Calvin. 333 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,202 I'm little but I use big words. 334 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,188 Son, I know it's hard sharing a room 335 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:38,025 with someone so, uh, different than you. 336 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:41,421 But you've handled it with grace and maturity. 337 00:14:42,774 --> 00:14:45,049 Anyway, I just wanted to say 338 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,052 -I'm so proud of you... Calvin. -(gasps) 339 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,613 Ooh, aah, dah! 340 00:14:50,615 --> 00:14:54,893 I can't see a thing with these glaucoma drops. (sighs) 341 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,285 HOMER: He thinks I'm Calvin. 342 00:14:56,287 --> 00:14:58,212 Look at how he looks at him. 343 00:14:58,214 --> 00:15:00,231 He never looked at me that way. 344 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,825 Are you okay, kid? You seem kind of quiet. 345 00:15:02,827 --> 00:15:05,403 (imitating Calvin): It's just... I've never heard you say 346 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:09,966 you were proud of me. Ever. In my entire life. 347 00:15:09,968 --> 00:15:11,558 What are you talking about? 348 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,728 I say that to you all the time, Calvin. 349 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:17,490 Oh. (laughs weakly) 350 00:15:17,492 --> 00:15:18,824 I forgot. 351 00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,251 (Grampa chuckles) 352 00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:30,094 Homer, you villain! Do not harm that birdhouse. 353 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,430 The nuthatches did nothing to you! 354 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,006 (sighs heavily) 355 00:15:34,008 --> 00:15:35,508 What's wrong with you? 356 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:39,011 My dad kisses the butt you walk on. 357 00:15:39,013 --> 00:15:41,180 I'd get it if you were great at sports, 358 00:15:41,182 --> 00:15:44,333 or fixing cars, or demolishing buildings, 359 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:46,836 but you're just a weird little kid. 360 00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:49,113 And my dad hates weird little kids. 361 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:52,024 At least... he sure hated me. 362 00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:55,269 Homer, Abe doesn't hate you. 363 00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:56,621 Oh, yeah? I'll show you. 364 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,532 We got ten minutes until his eyedrops wear off. 365 00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,626 (grunts) You be me. 366 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,463 Dad, do you have a second? 367 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,633 Dang it, Homer. Do you think I'm made of seconds? 368 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,712 I was in the middle of a very important word find puzzle. 369 00:16:12,714 --> 00:16:16,140 I was about to find the longest diagonal of my career. 370 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,458 Now what do you want?! 371 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,977 Um, I-I... 372 00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,562 You, you, you nothing! 373 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,984 Wow, that was harsh. 374 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,561 Do you ever tell him how he makes you feel? 375 00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:31,805 Kinda. I stuck him in the worst nursing home I could find. 376 00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:33,566 Figured he'd read between the lines. 377 00:16:33,568 --> 00:16:36,995 I think you need to find a new way to express your feelings. 378 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,831 It might need to be more than just words. 379 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:44,485 But my way with words be my best moutha-ma-callits. Aw. 380 00:16:44,487 --> 00:16:47,321 You'll figure out a way to get through to your dad. 381 00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:49,966 You just need to put on your thinking cap. 382 00:16:50,902 --> 00:16:53,569 (muffled music playing) 383 00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:55,829 (clamoring) 384 00:16:55,831 --> 00:16:56,997 (Bart grunts) 385 00:16:56,999 --> 00:16:58,182 Where have you been? 386 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,742 I had to get Band-Aids. 387 00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:01,761 Lewis got stabbed with a juice box straw. 388 00:17:01,763 --> 00:17:05,189 Somebody fed the pony Pop Rocks and he kicked out the TV. 389 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,025 His poop is popping! 390 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,694 (crashing, creaking) 391 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:13,180 The climbing wall collapsed onto the Reptile Rodeo. 392 00:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,516 There's loose tails everywhere. 393 00:17:15,518 --> 00:17:19,746 I tried to throw a party, but the party threw me. 394 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,764 I'm putting a stop to this. 395 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,023 Are you sure? 396 00:17:23,025 --> 00:17:24,417 You know what that will make you. 397 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,362 Hello? Yes, I'd like to blow the whistle 398 00:17:28,364 --> 00:17:32,032 on an out-of-control party at The Retirement Castle. 399 00:17:32,034 --> 00:17:36,629 Oh, my name? It's Lisa Simpson, party narc. 400 00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:41,133 Well, the party's shut down, kids are packing up their stuff. 401 00:17:41,135 --> 00:17:43,561 Great. I'm sure they all hate me. 402 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,621 -Yeah, probably. -(sighs) 403 00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:48,900 I gotta dump the churro sugar out of my shoes. 404 00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,235 (laughter) 405 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,886 -(gasps) -They've arrested Lisa! 406 00:17:52,888 --> 00:17:56,908 She's paying the ultimate price for throwing the ultimate party. 407 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,701 You're our hero, Lisa! 408 00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:00,769 (gasps) 409 00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:03,564 If you drive me home with the siren on, 410 00:18:03,566 --> 00:18:06,659 we've got a freezer full of Snickers. 411 00:18:06,661 --> 00:18:08,494 -(siren wailing) -Go, Lisa! 412 00:18:08,496 --> 00:18:11,497 -Lisa, you're the best! -You got this, Lisa! 413 00:18:11,499 --> 00:18:13,257 Call your lawyer! 414 00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,745 (indistinct chatter) 415 00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:21,824 There's some really inspiring work here tonight. 416 00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:26,829 Yours is a blistering indictment of American consumerism. 417 00:18:26,831 --> 00:18:28,664 I love how the middle joey 418 00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,424 is looking in the opposite direction, 419 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:33,111 as if imagining a different future. 420 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,947 Glad you got that. I worried it was too subtle. 421 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:38,557 Oh, it hit me like a ton of bricks. 422 00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:41,602 ♪ 423 00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:45,348 Now, let's announce tonight's winners. 424 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,626 Hold on, there's one more entry! 425 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,521 A strange man with an object hidden under a pillowcase? 426 00:18:52,523 --> 00:18:55,691 Come on up! I want to see this. 427 00:18:56,711 --> 00:18:59,545 I was told to find a new way to communicate. 428 00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:03,532 My stepbrother Calvin expresses his feelings through taxidermy, 429 00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:07,386 so I decided I would do the same. 430 00:19:07,388 --> 00:19:10,148 That's not taxidermy, you idjit! 431 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,800 But it's very deep. And... sad. 432 00:19:13,802 --> 00:19:17,713 The small shell pleading with its eyes to the larger one. 433 00:19:17,715 --> 00:19:21,993 It is clearly about a son's need for his father's approval. 434 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,738 What? It's just two smelly shells glued on a board. 435 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:30,576 Abe, look at it. Really look at it. 436 00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:31,894 Hmm. 437 00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,896 ♪ 438 00:19:33,898 --> 00:19:35,464 (groans) 439 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,567 (gasps) 440 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:44,849 (sniffles) What these shells are saying, is that how you feel? 441 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:48,093 You seem to love being a dad to Calvin, 442 00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:52,506 but you hated being a dad to me. (sobs) 443 00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:57,177 No, son, no. See, when you were a kid, 444 00:19:57,179 --> 00:20:00,865 being a dad felt like the end of my youth. 445 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,092 But now with Calvin, 446 00:20:03,094 --> 00:20:06,278 it's my last chance to feel young. 447 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,950 Oh, so what you're saying is no matter how old you are, 448 00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:15,028 it's only ever been about what you need. 449 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,790 You finally get me. 450 00:20:17,792 --> 00:20:20,443 It wasn't because I was a bad kid. 451 00:20:20,445 --> 00:20:23,870 You're just horribly flawed. 452 00:20:23,872 --> 00:20:25,965 I am! 453 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:28,300 (cheering) 454 00:20:28,302 --> 00:20:31,120 Another family saved by taxidermy. 455 00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,805 All right, let's wrap things up. 456 00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:35,140 We have 20 minutes before this room is taken over 457 00:20:35,142 --> 00:20:37,718 by the Massage Table Expo. 458 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,144 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 459 00:20:39,146 --> 00:20:40,905 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 460 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,406 and TOYOTA. 461 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,617 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 462 00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:51,474 So, Blythe dumped me for a guy 463 00:20:51,476 --> 00:20:53,642 she says is a better spiritual match for her. 464 00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:56,645 Also, he's super rich and can eat corn. 465 00:20:56,647 --> 00:20:59,072 He's taking Calvin to Africa to study animals 466 00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:01,092 in their natural habitat. 467 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,486 I'll miss that little scamp, but you know, 468 00:21:03,488 --> 00:21:06,931 I'm glad you and I are finally communicating. 469 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:10,493 I love you, son. Anyway, call me back. 470 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:13,271 -(phone chimes) -Your dad left you another message. 471 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,690 Eh, it's probably just a butt-dial. 472 00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:29,662 Shh!