1
00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,780
You're watching The Simpsons.
2
00:00:02,790 --> 00:00:05,789
You know your life sucks. Just
get drunk like you always do.
3
00:00:05,790 --> 00:00:08,559
Catch all-new episodes Sundays and
check out our other Fox programs...
4
00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,629
Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
Bob's Burgers and Family Guy.
5
00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,529
What is this, and how can I make
the rest of my life about it?
6
00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:15,760
Only on Fox.
7
00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,540
(cackles)
8
00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:25,500
D'oh!
9
00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:26,510
(tires screeching)
10
00:00:26,511 --> 00:00:28,210
(grunts)
11
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:35,710
(all groan)
12
00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:44,999
ANNOUNCER:
Nocturnal cravings.
13
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,999
A positive ultrasound.
14
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,800
How could this woman's doctor
not know she was pregnant?
15
00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:03,249
(gasps)
A baby.
16
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,219
An astronaut baby.
17
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:06,849
(baby laughs)
18
00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:10,349
Hey. Oh, have you ever
turned on a TV?
19
00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:13,350
It's my mother's birthday.
20
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,725
And you only turn 80 once.
21
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,189
Or, in the case
of most people, no times.
22
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:19,090
Now, put your good clothes on.
23
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,599
I'm already in a dress and
pearls, and I'm eight years old.
24
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,439
Can't we go
to her 81st birthday?
25
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,199
That's the big one.
26
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:30,530
Why does visiting my family
always have to be so hard?
27
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:33,279
Because, face it, Marge,
your family doesn't like me.
28
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,279
Never did, not even
when I had hair and a future
29
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,119
and a bitchin' Pontiac GTO.
30
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,549
Where is that car, Homer?
31
00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:41,379
I went to a music festival,
32
00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:43,210
and I couldn't remember
where I parked it.
33
00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:47,990
(playing weakly):
♪ I'm a space cowboy.
34
00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:54,059
Homie, I feel about my family
like you felt about that car.
35
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:56,460
No one loves a person that much.
36
00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:58,469
Please go, for me?
37
00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,899
All right, but
remember the signal.
38
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,730
If I tug my ear,
it's time for us to leave.
39
00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:05,139
I'm switching to my left ear
40
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,040
because of what happened
last time.
41
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,430
Uh-uh, no you don't.
42
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,439
Your grandmother
knit this for you,
43
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,510
so act like you wear
it all the time.
44
00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:45,520
(groans)
45
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,780
She has a juice box.
46
00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,989
Why can't I have a juice box?
47
00:02:57,990 --> 00:03:00,459
Because when she sticks
in the straw,
48
00:03:00,460 --> 00:03:03,029
she doesn't slip
and hit an artery.
49
00:03:03,030 --> 00:03:05,460
Oh, I'll never have juice.
50
00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:09,469
ALL:
♪ Happy birthday to you
51
00:03:09,470 --> 00:03:12,470
♪ Happy birthday, dear...
52
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,479
♪ Mom
♪ Grandma
53
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,849
♪ All of the above
54
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:19,019
ALL:
♪ Happy birthday to you.
55
00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,819
Thank you.
56
00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:23,519
Jacqueline, I took the
money I usually give
57
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,819
to con artists and preachers
and bought you these flowers.
58
00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:32,790
Oh, nothing tops
a simple romantic gesture.
59
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,430
Except a rich man
flaunting his wealth.
60
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,940
The one thing I can't beat...
Competition.
61
00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:46,879
(knee pops loudly)
62
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,349
Oh, Jacqueline, I
fell in love with you
63
00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:51,349
the moment I came
down with dementia.
64
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:55,049
So to win your heart, I got you
an old-fashioned music player.
65
00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:57,349
Meh.
(groaning)
66
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:58,710
Mr. Yo-Yo Ma.
67
00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,420
(gasps)
68
00:04:02,190 --> 00:04:03,550
No one said there'd be music.
69
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,029
There's always room for cello.
70
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:09,100
(plays Cello Suite
No. 1 by Bach)
71
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,409
I know when I'm licked, Burns.
72
00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:15,230
She's yours.
73
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,609
Um, not interested.
74
00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:18,209
I just don't want
you to have her.
75
00:04:18,210 --> 00:04:21,045
Wow, that's the meanest thing
I ever heard,
76
00:04:21,046 --> 00:04:23,640
and I used to practice
cello on the subway.
77
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,219
D'oh!
I'm next!
78
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:29,589
Whee!
79
00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:31,389
(Bart and Lisa laugh)
80
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,259
Hey, you two, quit having fun.
81
00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:35,729
Trust me, nothing I've done
today has been fun.
82
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,559
Hey, hey, the plastic's
here for a reason...
83
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:39,920
To keep the couch clean.
84
00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:42,769
Watch and learn, boy.
85
00:04:42,770 --> 00:04:45,340
Voilà, now I take
a simple napkin and...
86
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:47,940
(screams)
87
00:04:47,941 --> 00:04:49,639
(all groan)
88
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,609
Who's ready to see some
slides of us as teenagers?
89
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,239
(groaning)
90
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,440
Here are the slides.
91
00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:57,949
Oh, just one box.
92
00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,779
Five terabytes.
93
00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:03,280
That's over 50,000 carousels
of family fun.
94
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:05,360
(groans loudly)
95
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,929
Here's us walking up the steps
96
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,929
of Teotihuacán's
pyramid of the sun.
97
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:16,429
Walking, walking,
stopping, walking.
98
00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:18,090
Walking, walking, walking.
(groans) Ooh.
99
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,130
Hmm.
Stopping, stopping.
100
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,439
Oh.
Walking, walking,
101
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,769
walking, walking,
blister-popping.
102
00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:24,770
Huh?
Walking, walking.
103
00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:25,770
(groans)
104
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:27,979
Stopping, walking, walking...
105
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:29,979
Oh, I sure miss Dad.
106
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:32,979
We're here to watch
old photos, not reminisce.
107
00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:34,440
Walking, walking...
108
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:35,810
How did Grampa Bouvier die?
109
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:37,489
No one's ever told us.
110
00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:40,319
You know what, I
actually don't know.
111
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,150
Me neither.
Not a clue.
112
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,659
Girls, I'm afraid I didn't tell
any of you for a reason.
113
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,659
(gasping)
114
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:50,329
(plays dramatic tune)
115
00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:52,160
The real story,
116
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:55,169
and it was something people were
ashamed to say at the time,
117
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:57,500
is that he died of lung cancer.
118
00:05:57,510 --> 00:06:01,979
Mom, how could you know that
and still let us smoke?
119
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,550
I thought it made you look cool.
120
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:09,640
Hey, Lis, do you think I can
climb walls like Spider-Man
121
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:11,649
with denture cream on my hands?
122
00:06:11,650 --> 00:06:13,480
(screams)
Nope.
123
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:15,859
Next time, you should
wait for my answer.
124
00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:19,699
Knock it off! Your grandmother's
bathroom is not a toy chest.
125
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,059
Ooh, Vicodin.
126
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:23,490
I think it's time, Selma dear.
127
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,940
Time we quit smoking.
128
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,570
Well, anyway, happy birthday.
129
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:48,389
(meows)
130
00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:51,389
Man, I can't believe your
sisters stopped smoking.
131
00:06:51,390 --> 00:06:53,559
I just hope
they don't put on weight.
132
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,020
Hmm.
133
00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,390
You're so fat!
134
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,869
(laughs)
135
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:00,869
You're even fatter.
136
00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:02,239
Damn straight!
137
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,310
No one out-fats me.
138
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:12,749
Time for beddy-bye.
139
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,589
Now, don't sleep
on your stomach.
140
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:15,910
Or is it your back?
141
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,589
Can never remember.
142
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:21,330
Whichever is the comfortable
one, don't do that.
143
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,830
(tapping)
144
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,620
♪
145
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:58,799
(chatters)
146
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,299
(hoots)
147
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,799
(hisses)
148
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,639
(imitating Duffman):
Say hello to fun!
149
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,090
Oh, yeah!
150
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,260
Oh, no!
151
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:07,510
Hoppy!
152
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:22,010
In this house, Maggie is safe.
153
00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:23,890
(Maggie babbles playfully)
154
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:36,400
(groans)
155
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:43,469
Excuse me, I'd like a license
to operate heavy machinery.
156
00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:45,470
We don't do that here.
157
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,479
Please? To me,
everything is heavy.
158
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,309
(grunting):
No.
(groans)
159
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:52,140
Patty, what are you doing?
160
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:54,149
Selma quit smoking, and
she's never been nicer.
161
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:55,989
Here's your new license.
162
00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:59,359
Under "eyes,"
I put "red and dilated."
163
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,189
Ooh, thank you, sir.
164
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:04,199
Selma, not smoking
hasn't affected you at all.
165
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,020
How is that possible?
166
00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:08,029
I even smell cigarette smoke
when it's not around.
167
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,020
(sniffs)
168
00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:10,490
Like right now.
169
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,339
Maybe you're having a stroke.
170
00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:14,669
Phantom smells are a symptom.
171
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:19,500
Eh, what's the penalty for
driving a tractor drunk
172
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:21,345
through a Renaissance Faire?
173
00:09:21,346 --> 00:09:23,670
Can't help you...
I might be having a stroke.
174
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,120
I have to consult a competent
medical professional.
175
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:31,550
Got that.
176
00:09:31,551 --> 00:09:33,380
Got that.
(groans)
177
00:09:33,390 --> 00:09:35,219
Who doesn't have that?
178
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:36,689
(groans)
179
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:39,050
Anyone here to get
an ambulance license?
180
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,190
That would be me.
181
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,559
Here you go.
182
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,620
I lied.
183
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:45,640
(growls)
184
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,739
Patty, all your
tests are positive.
185
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:50,109
I mean, negative.
186
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:51,209
Always get those two confused.
187
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,209
You're fine.
(chuckles)
188
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:54,909
But I still smell smoke.
189
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:56,740
(sniffs)
That's odd.
190
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:57,750
So do I.
191
00:09:57,751 --> 00:09:59,079
Do you smell anything, Selma?
192
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,910
Hmm, uh-uh, nope.
193
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:01,920
Wait a minute.
194
00:10:01,921 --> 00:10:03,320
Are you smoking?
195
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,389
That's right, I am.
196
00:10:10,390 --> 00:10:13,220
I quit for only ten minutes
before I relapsed.
197
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:17,599
And it was the best
cigarette of my life.
198
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,899
(scoffs) I have never
been angrier at you.
199
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,730
Me, too... this
is a hospital.
200
00:10:22,740 --> 00:10:24,409
If you want to smoke,
201
00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:26,480
go do it in the stairwell
with the doctors.
202
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,570
I'll miss you so much.
203
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:31,949
Leave me Jub-Jub.
204
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,490
Fine.
205
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,490
At least you still smoke.
206
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,289
I hate it when
you and Selma fight.
207
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:46,590
Me, too. I also hate it
when they agree.
208
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,129
Homer, please be nice.
209
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:49,420
Patty's our guest.
210
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:50,590
For how long?
211
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,639
Where's she gonna sleep?
212
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:52,930
On our couch.
213
00:10:52,940 --> 00:10:55,139
That's where we do
our couch gags!
214
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:56,309
See?
215
00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,439
Oh, fine.
216
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:58,710
She'll stay with the baby.
217
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,609
Well, Magster, it looks like
218
00:11:01,610 --> 00:11:04,670
you and I are going to be
cellmates. (chuckles)
219
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:08,180
(buzzing)
220
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,619
(screams)
Nature!
221
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:12,980
Shoo! Shoo!
222
00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:14,459
I've got a hot curling iron!
223
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,530
Hold this.
(grunts)
224
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,829
Oh, Marge,
the kids are all asleep
225
00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:23,460
and the dog's been walked.
226
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:26,299
There's only
one thing left to do.
227
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,799
(sexy purr)
228
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,030
Did you turn the
security alarm on?
229
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,139
It's still broken.
230
00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:35,470
Ooh, well, then come here, you.
231
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,009
(Patty snoring)
232
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:38,670
(shouts)
What the hell was that?!
233
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,340
It's just my sister snoring.
234
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,649
She has a very fatty septum.
235
00:11:42,650 --> 00:11:45,480
But it doesn't have
to ruin our fun.
236
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:47,159
(snoring continues)
237
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,930
(both moaning)
238
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:53,359
(gasps, coughs)
239
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,090
(owl hooting)
240
00:12:05,170 --> 00:12:07,600
(snoring)
(music playing intermittently)
241
00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:27,859
Okay, which one of you kids
knows how to drive?
242
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:30,560
And which is sober?
243
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:33,539
Whew, thank God
for Designated Dorothy.
244
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,140
(engine starts, truck backfires)
245
00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:47,719
All right, everybody go to bed.
246
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,919
Those of you who got
to get up early,
247
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,049
sleep on top of the pile.
248
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,419
Hey, Brandine!
249
00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:56,050
I caught us a possum!
250
00:12:56,060 --> 00:12:57,889
You want to name it
251
00:12:57,890 --> 00:12:59,920
before we eat it or after?
252
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:00,930
During!
253
00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,599
Beauregard, you've been promoted
254
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,670
from guarding my family
to guarding this possum.
255
00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,040
That's a good dog.
256
00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:19,070
Hmm.
257
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,740
Hey, baby.
258
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:24,249
How about that rain check
for last night?
259
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,449
PATTY:
Aah!
Aah!
260
00:13:25,450 --> 00:13:26,950
Aah, don't look at me!
261
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,429
But you're everywhere!
(gasping)
Freak!
262
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:30,959
(shouts)
Don't you ever knock?
263
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,799
(groans)
Get out of
here! Go away!
264
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,159
(sighs) Thank God I'm blind.
265
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,760
Yo, I'm next.
266
00:13:36,770 --> 00:13:37,929
No!
267
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:39,760
Whoa! What the hell?
268
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:41,469
I did that with love, boy.
269
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,939
What's all the hubbub?
270
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,769
Oh, thank you, Dad.
It's okay, son.
271
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:46,800
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It's okay, it's okay.
272
00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:49,109
No, really, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
273
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:50,970
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
274
00:13:50,980 --> 00:13:52,279
All right, already!
275
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,180
Just take a shower.
276
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,980
I need someone to talk to.
277
00:13:57,990 --> 00:14:01,390
Thank God I've got a past
full of lonely men to draw from.
278
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:03,989
Mm-hmm.
279
00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:06,190
Disco Stu is over you.
280
00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:12,169
Oh, Disco Stu
needs a Zoloft or two.
281
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,799
(grunts)
282
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,299
Who am I kidding?
283
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,300
The one I should be talking to
284
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,679
is the one who's always
been there for me...
285
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,479
my cigarette.
286
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:22,849
Forget about your sister.
287
00:14:22,850 --> 00:14:24,479
You've got me.
288
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,349
For the rest of your life,
I'll be the first thing
289
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:28,189
you think about every morning.
290
00:14:28,190 --> 00:14:33,310
And the last thing you do
every night.
291
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,180
Hmm, looks like I have
a choice to make.
292
00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:37,989
(grunting)
Oh!
293
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:41,090
I'm in your hair!
(laughs)
294
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:47,030
Uh...
(clears throat)
295
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,869
Listen, about this morning,
296
00:14:49,870 --> 00:14:52,700
I'm sorry I walked in on you!
297
00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,709
(grumbling)
298
00:14:54,710 --> 00:14:56,879
Oh! Oh, yeah.
299
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,515
I'm about to say something
300
00:14:58,516 --> 00:15:01,240
I never thought I'd say
to you... something nice.
301
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,689
Hmm?
(sighs)
302
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:05,689
I only mock you
because I'm jealous
303
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,689
of what Marge has in you.
304
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,689
I only have Selma.
305
00:15:09,690 --> 00:15:12,690
And now I don't even have that.
306
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,399
(sighs)
307
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,729
Oh, Patty, I've waited so long
308
00:15:16,730 --> 00:15:19,030
for you to open
a window of niceness.
309
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,199
(grunts)
That was it!
310
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,230
Window shut!
311
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,940
(doorbell rings)
312
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,940
Ah, what the heck!
313
00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:29,049
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
314
00:15:29,050 --> 00:15:31,549
Aah... (sighs)
315
00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:33,249
What are you doing here?
316
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,379
Apologizing.
317
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:39,380
And I want you to know
I quit smoking for good.
318
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,259
You quit for me?
319
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:42,759
I quit for us.
320
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,059
Hmm, that's actually
more selfish,
321
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:47,220
but it sounds really nice.
322
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:48,799
(both grunting)
323
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,439
Okay, Maggie,
throw the ball to me.
324
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,630
Throw the ball.
325
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,730
Okay, how about
I throw the ball?
326
00:15:55,740 --> 00:15:57,569
It's okay.
327
00:15:57,570 --> 00:16:00,800
You'll learn to do things
after you're a baby.
328
00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:20,590
(animals clamoring)
329
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,700
("When Johnny Comes
Marching Home" playing)
330
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,190
(Spider-Pig theme song playing)
331
00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:49,529
♪ Spider-Pig
332
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:53,900
♪ Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig.
333
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,669
Let's see,
we got "possum pot pie,
334
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:00,839
"General Chang's possum
with cashews,
335
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,139
possum foam
with pouch reduction."
336
00:17:04,140 --> 00:17:05,639
(hissing)
337
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,470
Hey, save your hissing
for the frying pan!
338
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,050
("When Johnny Comes
Marching Home" playing)
339
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,410
(barks)
340
00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:38,910
(yelps, growls)
341
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,909
(birds cawing)
342
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:46,070
(growling)
343
00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:50,589
(quacks)
344
00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:51,590
(screeches)
345
00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:01,660
(all chattering)
346
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,280
(birds chirping)
347
00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:18,770
(dogs barking)
348
00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:31,130
(howls, growls)
349
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:36,800
(babbling)
350
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,980
(laughing)
351
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,099
What the...?
352
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,000
It's a bunch of animals
acting like humans!
353
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,800
Oh, well, there goes our dinner.
354
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:20,649
And I had such a delightful
moonshine pairing for it, too.
355
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:24,509
Got 91 points
from Robert Trailerparker.
356
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,440
Dang.
357
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:29,189
Okay, well, uh, possum's gone.
358
00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:31,619
But you got fingernails
to chew on.
359
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,319
Who knows what's under them?
360
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,819
Ooh, I got pizza!
361
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,390
I got poop.
362
00:19:38,290 --> 00:19:39,950
It's nice to have
you back, Patty.
363
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,660
I had to do some things I
regretted 'cause you were gone.
364
00:19:42,670 --> 00:19:45,499
You said it was
for real this time.
365
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,799
I said what you wanted to hear!
366
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,669
Disco Stu is back on Tinder.
367
00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:51,670
(door closes)
368
00:19:51,671 --> 00:19:54,000
It's nice to be back.
369
00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,839
Since I've stopped smoking,
370
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,009
my sense of smell
has really come back.
371
00:19:58,010 --> 00:19:59,470
Uh-huh.
372
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,679
Who knew a small apartment
with two women,
373
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,349
a baby and an iguana
would smell so bad?
374
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,010
(both sniffing)
375
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:09,550
Cigarette?
Yes!
376
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,999
(sighs)
377
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,169
Here's to smoking and you.
378
00:20:16,170 --> 00:20:19,240
Two things that'll
always be in my heart.
379
00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,839
Is this a happy ending?
380
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,339
It's edgy.
381
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:28,539
♪ Together forever
and never to part ♪
382
00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,740
♪ Together forever, we two.
383
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:52,029
(squawks)
384
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,760
Hoppy, you're back!
385
00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:55,269
(imitating Cletus):
Hey, Brandine!
386
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,869
Put out the fancy possum china!
387
00:20:57,870 --> 00:21:02,670
I've heard of wanting a cracker,
but becoming one... oh, no!
388
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:11,290
("The Simpsons Theme"
by Yo-Yo Ma playing)
389
00:21:48,090 --> 00:21:50,160
Shh!
390
00:21:52,990 --> 00:21:55,020
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH