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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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_
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34, 35...
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37?
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No!
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Oh, I have to go all
the way around again.
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I had the locker dream again.
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Oh, honey, that's four nights in a row.
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Stupid recurring dreams.
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Why can't brains come
up with something new?
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That's why they're
losing viewers to Netflix.
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Maybe I should talk to a therapist.
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Sweetie, our insurance won't
pay for any more sessions.
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Your father used them
all up on grief counseling
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after the Halloween candy ran out.
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I've come to accept that
we were lucky to have it
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while we did.
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But I know a cheap
place where you can see
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the therapists of tomorrow today.
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Behold, Springfield Community College,
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where the students practice... on you!
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I only paid a student dentist
$12 for this brand-new crown.
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See?
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I don't think it's supposed to come out.
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That's why I paid a student
paralegal to sue him.
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I lost!
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- Oh, yarr.
- Mm.
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Yarr! Yarr.
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TV must be a circle!
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Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
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Give him the full flea dip
and deluxe under-worming.
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I'm not a dog.
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And I've been worm-free for two weeks!
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You better muzzle him. He's a biter.
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My name is Annette, and
I'm a therapist-in-training.
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I'm also a mother-to-be,
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so I know there's nothing more beautiful
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than a child's feelings.
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You sound so caring and professional.
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When do I give you the seven dollars?
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There's a shoebox by the door.
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So what does my locker dream mean?
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Am I stressed about school?
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I mean, schools are full of lockers.
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Hey, who's the almost-therapist here?
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Huh.
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Hmm.
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Oh.
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Ooh.
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Huh.
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Mm.
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You know, I think you might
benefit from art therapy.
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Ooh!
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Draw in these empty panels
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to tell the story of a typical day
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in the life of you, Sophia Barnum.
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Huh?
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Once again, learn the patient's name.
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Sorry, Professor.
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Lisa Simpson.
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Excellent. Continue.
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Your light's still on.
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Art therapy.
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Okay, draw a typical day.
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Ugh! Horrible!
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It looks like it was
drawn by an eight-year-old!
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Ugh!
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Oh, boy, I can't wait
to take you to the park.
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The other owners will be so jealous.
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You're not my owner.
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Uh, I kinda am.
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Mmm.
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Mm.
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I'm hearing a lot of feelings in here.
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You're hearing them because
I am not drawing them!
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Aw, sweetie, drawing is tricky.
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But you just need to start with
something simple, like people.
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Those are people.
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Ooh.
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It's easy, honey.
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Add some eyelashes here,
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some crosshatching to show shadow,
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vary the line width here
to accent the outline,
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and voilà!
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That's great!
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Now in the next panel,
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I want her to be looking out a window,
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wondering if she'll ever get out
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from under the weight
of her own expectations.
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Well, I could make the
eyebrows come down in a "V."
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That says it all.
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Hey, Mom, what if I told
you the things I was feeling
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and you drew them?
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Okay. But I'm warning you,
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I'm not good at drawing turtle feet.
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So if there are any turtles in this,
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they're gonna be wearing sneakers.
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Deal.
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It starts with the
story of a regular day...
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_
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_
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_
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_
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_
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Gosh, I forgot how hard school
can be for a sensitive kid.
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It's miserable.
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But you captured my feelings perfectly!
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Annette, wait till
you see my art therapy!
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You're gonna love it, too.
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Please try to pretend I'm not here.
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Okay, Stephen.
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Hey, where did it go?
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Best marriage counseling ever.
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But we still need to discuss
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your addiction to unboxing videos.
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Do not make me choose
between you and unboxing.
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Manga!
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_
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_
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It's been a week, and I still
can't find my therapy comic.
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I'd be just mortified
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if even one person saw
my private thoughts...
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Oh!
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Mom, can I have permission to swear?
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Okay, as long as it's a tier one.
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Damn it!
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That didn't work.
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Can I go to tier two?
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- I'm afraid not.
- Damn it!
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And with that seal cut,
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we have completed the unboxing
of the outer shipping plastic.
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Indeed we have.
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You published my private
art therapy as a comic book?
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Um, actually, it's a graphic novel.
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The distinctions are threefold...
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- Shut up!
- Okay then.
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Um, in my defense, my wife did it.
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Kumiko, how could you?
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I have acted shamefully.
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I must commit furry cosplay.
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Ooh!
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There's nothing sexy about shame!
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Except in my native Japan,
where it's our whole thing.
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Mr. and Mrs. Book Guy, you
had no right to do this!
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These are my daughter's feelings.
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And my doodles.
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I shall burn them on a pyre
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and disperse them to the seven winds.
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That's all I ask.
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Hmm?
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One Sad Girl, please.
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Sad Girl's the best!
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It's tragically delicious!
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Wait!
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Maybe this isn't so bad.
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My Lulus!
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Ooh, there she is.
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Ask for her autograph.
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You ask her, man.
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I'm freakin' out.
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Wow, Lisa, our cartoon book
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seems to have really captured the...
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What's that word I'm looking for?
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Zeitgeist!
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Oh, hi, Mel!
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Say hi to Barbara for me.
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I'm not your messenger boy!
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What's so great about graphic novels?
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They're just comic
books with no superheroes
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and no cool sound effects like "Thwam!",
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"Ack-ack-ack-ack!",
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- and "Fwwwip!"
- Snag!
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Lisa, Kumiko called.
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She sold all her copies and
wants us to make a sequel!
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That's like a prequel but in the future.
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What do you say, sweetie?
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Do you have more sad in you?
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I've got scads of sad!
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Okay, now draw me
overhearing the other girls
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talking about how they're
not gonna invite me
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to a birthday party.
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Like this?
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Fantastic!
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Now let's take a little break.
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And you know what that means.
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Hot Sharpie!
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Hot Sharpie!
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- Hot Sharpie!
- Hot Sharpie!
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- Hot Sharpie!
- Hot Sharpie!
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- You almost got me!
- How come we never bond like that?
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I don't know, you never
make the first move.
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Okay.
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There is something I've
always wanted to do with you.
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Hey, those guys stole our fishing poles!
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And my skipping stones!
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Welcome to "Chicks with Pix,"
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a panel discussion with
women writers and artists.
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I'm your moderator, Roz Chast.
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You may know my New Yorker cartoons
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that are both funny ha-ha
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and funny aha.
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Silence!
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Joining me today are Alison Bechdel;
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Marjane Satrapi;
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and the creators of Sad
Girl, Lisa Simpson...
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We love you, Lisa!
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And Marge Simpson.
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We're wasting time!
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Marjane, as the author of Persepolis
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and someone who grew up
in a repressive regime,
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what advice would you
offer to young women?
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Always remember nothing is more valuable
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than your own unique voice.
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Also, when they promise you
a tote bag for doing a panel,
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make sure it's not just
a reusable grocery bag.
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Look at this.
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Alison Bechdel, recently,
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a lot of people have been
talking about the Bechdel Test.
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00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:44,529
Exactly what kind of
drinking game is that?
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00:10:44,531 --> 00:10:46,665
Actually, it's just
an observation I made
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about how movies and TV rarely show
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two women talking about
something other than a man.
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00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:52,804
That's so interesting.
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00:10:52,806 --> 00:10:54,939
I'll have to tell my husband about that.
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Bechdel Test: Fail!
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00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:04,544
Bechdel, fail!
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00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,317
Fail!
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00:11:06,319 --> 00:11:08,319
Fail.
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00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:10,155
Okay. We have five minutes
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before we have to clear the room
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for the "White Men in Comics" panel.
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I have a question for Lisa.
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00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:18,249
I have a question for Lisa
with a follow-up for Lisa.
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00:11:18,252 --> 00:11:20,564
I want to talk about
myself for a few minutes,
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00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:23,155
then at the end, pretend it
was all a question for Lisa.
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00:11:23,158 --> 00:11:25,702
Does anyone have any
questions for my mom?
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00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:27,772
She does draw every panel.
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Yeah, I have a question for Marge.
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How lucky are you to work with Lisa?
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Lisa!
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Lisa! Lisa!
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Lisa win!
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Marge fail.
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00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:45,406
Honey, I was thinking.
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What if we did a chapter
from the mom's point of view?
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00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,871
I took a stab at writing
it up. Give it a read.
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00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:52,140
In front of you?
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00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:54,765
Um, okay.
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00:11:54,768 --> 00:11:56,367
Mmm.
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What are you laughing at?
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00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:03,341
You left out a word here,
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so it just says, "I lonely."
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00:12:07,214 --> 00:12:09,214
So should I start drawing it?
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00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:12,135
Well, there's a lot of great stuff here.
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00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:15,106
Really? Because that's
what I was going for.
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00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,623
But I'm not sure this
is a Sad Girl thing.
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Maybe it's a separate book
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and I could write the forward.
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Oh, I get it.
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This isn't a real collaboration at all.
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00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,533
You agree with those girl fanboys.
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00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:30,702
You think it's all about you.
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00:12:30,704 --> 00:12:32,403
Hey, you can't blame me
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00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:34,906
if people want to focus
on my contribution.
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I can and I do.
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00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:39,640
I hate to say it, Mom,
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00:12:39,643 --> 00:12:41,846
but maybe we should take a break.
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00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:44,202
Good idea. Hot Sharpie.
271
00:12:46,052 --> 00:12:48,826
No. I mean, maybe we should take
272
00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,889
a real break.
273
00:12:50,891 --> 00:12:52,724
- You mean...?
- That's right.
274
00:12:52,726 --> 00:12:55,521
I want to see other illustrators.
275
00:12:56,997 --> 00:12:58,530
- I don't even know how you could
- Stupid Lisa.
276
00:12:58,532 --> 00:12:59,998
- Say that. It's my vision.
- She's acting like a real B.
277
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,567
Ladies, there's someone here to see you.
278
00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:06,538
My name is Guthrie Frenel,
279
00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:09,741
visionary theatrical
director and impish genius.
280
00:13:09,743 --> 00:13:13,111
And I want to make Sad Girl
into a smash Broadway show.
281
00:13:14,429 --> 00:13:16,402
I think he came in through the window.
282
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:19,885
Oh, tubby, you're a delight.
283
00:13:20,937 --> 00:13:23,845
You want to make Sad
Girl into a stage musical?
284
00:13:23,848 --> 00:13:27,270
If I may borrow a phrase
from my father, woo-hoo!
285
00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:28,954
This is all very exciting,
286
00:13:28,957 --> 00:13:30,506
but before we go any further...
287
00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:33,109
And I ask this just for clarification...
288
00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:35,278
- What's your deal, weirdo?
- Dad.
289
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,743
Guthrie Frenel is a visionary
director and an impish genius.
290
00:13:38,746 --> 00:13:40,683
He did a version of Waiting for Godot
291
00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:44,020
- where Godot appears in the first scene.
- What?
292
00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:47,223
And that was nothing compared
to my vision for Sad Girl.
293
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:49,459
I want to do something new and amazing,
294
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:51,661
like my all-dog version of Cats.
295
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,463
But I need something from you.
296
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,798
- Anything.
- I need your passion.
297
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,166
I need your joy.
298
00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,403
Are we all together for this
three-person toboggan ride
299
00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:02,505
down Mount Collabor-manjaro?
300
00:14:02,507 --> 00:14:06,376
Well, Lisa and I did
just have a little spat.
301
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:10,013
Yeah, but conflict is part of
the creative process, right?
302
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,681
Not in my experience!
303
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,750
So are you in?
304
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,161
- Yes.
- Absolutely.
305
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,689
Oh, this is gonna take hours.
306
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,827
Bart, there's one thing I
know about Broadway shows,
307
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,696
they always make money.
308
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:29,210
So I'm already looking
forward to quitting my job.
309
00:14:29,213 --> 00:14:30,500
Can I quit school?
310
00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:33,303
I'd be a pretty lousy dad if I said no.
311
00:14:34,871 --> 00:14:36,971
It's our duty as artists
312
00:14:36,974 --> 00:14:40,043
to rip up the contract between
audience and performers.
313
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,078
Cell phones will be turned on.
314
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,414
Candy will be unwrapped during the show.
315
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,416
We'll hire performance artists
316
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,419
to make the line for the
ladies room extra long.
317
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,723
Um, how closely are we gonna stick
318
00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:55,925
to the story from my graphic novel?
319
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:57,403
Oh, yes, story.
320
00:14:57,406 --> 00:14:59,362
All the gimmicky stagecraft in the world
321
00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:01,097
ain't worth a tinker's damn
322
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,933
without a compelling
human story at the center.
323
00:15:03,935 --> 00:15:05,835
Your story, the unique expression
324
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:07,737
- of your heart and soul...
- Mm-hmm.
325
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,639
Will be neatly summed up
326
00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:12,075
- in the narrator's first speech.
- Huh?
327
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,643
Once that's out of the way,
328
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,345
we can explore the dazzling
329
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,780
visual buffet of Marge Simpson.
330
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,182
Now feast.
331
00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,452
Pass the wonderment, please,
332
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,710
but save room for the Tonys.
333
00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:26,422
Oh, my God.
334
00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:28,157
It's just how I drew it.
335
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,893
It's your artistic vision writ large.
336
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,995
Or should I say, writ Marge?
337
00:15:32,997 --> 00:15:34,364
You should.
338
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:35,698
He really shouldn't.
339
00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,625
It's all in my style.
340
00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:46,976
Mom, he's ignoring my story
341
00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:49,270
and making this all about your drawings.
342
00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:51,547
I know.
343
00:15:51,549 --> 00:15:53,082
I'm sorry, Lisa.
344
00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:54,817
But I can't help it if he wants to focus
345
00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:56,219
on the visual part of...
346
00:15:56,221 --> 00:16:00,123
Oh, my God. It's Bart and Grampa.
347
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,058
But they aren't even in my book.
348
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:04,394
And where am I? Where is Sad Girl?
349
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,662
Sad Girl will be represented
350
00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:08,898
by a voiceless red light projected into
351
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,300
an empty seat in the balcony. Bold, no?
352
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,970
But how will they know
it's supposed to be me?
353
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,239
Storytelling.
354
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:18,574
Ugh.
355
00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:21,811
That impish genius is
really cheesing me off.
356
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:24,747
All he's kept from Sad
Girl is Mom's drawings,
357
00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:28,418
when it's supposed to be about
my writing and my feelings.
358
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,920
Oh, I'm so sick of children's feelings.
359
00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,604
"Feed me." "Burp me."
360
00:16:32,607 --> 00:16:34,151
"Don't sleep for six years."
361
00:16:34,154 --> 00:16:35,858
You're forgetting the boundary
362
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,693
between patient and therapist.
363
00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:40,296
And you're forgetting
that you did this to me!
364
00:16:42,108 --> 00:16:43,474
Let me tell you something, Lisa.
365
00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:45,210
When you give birth to something,
366
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,203
you have no control
over what it turns into.
367
00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:50,273
All you can do is
surrender to the nightmare.
368
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,109
Sorry. I'm just so happy.
369
00:16:58,149 --> 00:17:00,783
Never do this.
370
00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,452
Here they are.
371
00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:06,189
The official Sad Girl: The
Theater Experience T-shirts.
372
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:10,860
$45 in the lobby, of
which we keep $1.35.
373
00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:13,830
Oh, baby, we can use that
money to buy a sailboat
374
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,965
with a double-ended spinnaker pole.
375
00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,034
Oh, ho-ho.
376
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:19,969
Looks good. I like it.
377
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:21,370
I like everything.
378
00:17:21,372 --> 00:17:24,423
Really? You seemed a
little cheesed off earlier.
379
00:17:24,426 --> 00:17:25,875
A mother notices.
380
00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,711
Mom, Sad Girl was like our baby.
381
00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:31,714
And you can't control
what your kid turns into.
382
00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:33,683
If it becomes a successful show,
383
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,485
that'll be good for our family.
384
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,886
Now if you'll excuse me,
385
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,788
I'm gonna go sit on a swing alone.
386
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,690
Oh, okay.
387
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,458
Hello, Coast Guard?
388
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:45,361
Get ready to search for
my body in about a month.
389
00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:47,029
Mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
390
00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:48,498
Oh.
391
00:17:51,402 --> 00:17:54,370
- So you're okay with this?
- Sure.
392
00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,782
It's an honor to have
something based on your life.
393
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,052
Even if it's nothing
like your life at all.
394
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,032
What the hell does any of this mean?
395
00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:24,667
What? You don't get this?
396
00:18:24,669 --> 00:18:27,270
It's so stimulating and I love it.
397
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,641
- What is that?!
- D'oh!
398
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,088
_
399
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:55,531
Uh, Guthrie, is it possible we strayed
400
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:58,534
a skoosh too far from
what Lisa's book is about?
401
00:18:58,536 --> 00:19:01,604
Marge, this isn't You're
A Good Man, Charlie Brown.
402
00:19:01,606 --> 00:19:04,407
Or even my production of You're
A Good Man, Charlie Brown,
403
00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:06,242
set in a doomed Soviet submarine.
404
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:09,745
This is avant-garde
theater, and it is electric.
405
00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:15,318
Okay, I guess.
406
00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,695
Oh, Lisa.
407
00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:28,497
I'm so sorry. Hmm.
408
00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:32,969
There, honey. Now
you're back in our show.
409
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:38,619
What the...? That's not
one of my brain babies.
410
00:19:40,511 --> 00:19:42,078
Ah! Ow.
411
00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:48,517
Ah!
412
00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:53,189
Which one of us is me?
413
00:20:00,898 --> 00:20:03,122
Run for your cultural lives!
414
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:06,693
I'm haunted my visions of Milhouse.
415
00:20:06,696 --> 00:20:08,304
Ah!
416
00:20:16,614 --> 00:20:19,248
And now to read the reviews.
417
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,417
"Greatest..." I like
where this is going.
418
00:20:21,419 --> 00:20:23,886
"disaster in theater history."
419
00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:27,023
Oh, those sons of Bs.
420
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:30,326
Honey, I'm sorry I let
Guthrie make the play
421
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:33,729
all about my drawings,
and also terrible.
422
00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:37,299
And I'm sorry I wasn't more
open to your creative input.
423
00:20:37,301 --> 00:20:39,635
I blame both of you for this disaster.
424
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:40,703
More wine!
425
00:20:40,705 --> 00:20:42,071
I've got another project
426
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,739
for us to collaborate on.
427
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,741
Getting your dad in a cab.
428
00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:48,647
Hello, Coast Guard? I'm gonna live.
429
00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:59,342
_
430
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,042
_
431
00:21:05,386 --> 00:21:06,554
_
432
00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:12,900
_
433
00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:21,881
Well, I still think it's good.
434
00:21:23,709 --> 00:21:28,120
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
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