1
00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:06,355
(CHOIR SINGING BACKWARDS)

2
00:00:10,831 --> 00:00:12,181
(MUFFLED SCREAM)

3
00:00:12,182 --> 00:00:14,199
♪ ♪

4
00:00:17,371 --> 00:00:19,371
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

5
00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:22,741
(BELCHES)

6
00:00:24,078 --> 00:00:26,267
- (WORK WHISTLE BLOWS)
- (SCREAMS)

7
00:00:28,269 --> 00:00:29,835
(SUCKING)

8
00:00:30,318 --> 00:00:31,717
(CONVEYOR BEEPING)

9
00:00:35,623 --> 00:00:37,623
♪ ♪

10
00:00:39,627 --> 00:00:41,627
(PLAYS JAZZ MELODY)

11
00:00:43,831 --> 00:00:45,764
(BRAKES SQUEAL)

12
00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:48,214
D'oh!

13
00:00:49,244 --> 00:00:50,810
(SCREAMS)

14
00:00:53,448 --> 00:00:55,431
(SUCKING)

15
00:00:55,432 --> 00:00:57,056
♪ ♪

16
00:01:05,694 --> 00:01:07,376
- Homer.
- Hey.

17
00:01:07,377 --> 00:01:09,218
- Homer.
- Huh? What?

18
00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:11,346
- I'll be right home.
- You are home.

19
00:01:11,347 --> 00:01:13,015
(WHOOPS, SNORES)

20
00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:14,216
Homer.

21
00:01:14,217 --> 00:01:17,019
Homer, wake up, please. I can't sleep.

22
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:19,155
I'm having friends over tomorrow.

23
00:01:19,156 --> 00:01:21,624
- Luann Van Houten.
- Back-stabber.

24
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:23,659
- Bernice Hibbert.
- Snob.

25
00:01:23,660 --> 00:01:25,361
And Helen Lovejoy.

26
00:01:25,362 --> 00:01:26,562
Okay, she's pretty hot.

27
00:01:26,563 --> 00:01:27,997
I mean, hot for a reverend's wife,

28
00:01:27,998 --> 00:01:29,836
but so judgmental.

29
00:01:29,837 --> 00:01:31,033
(SIGHS)

30
00:01:31,034 --> 00:01:33,536
I was going to ask you if
you could watch Maggie.

31
00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:34,837
Oh, yeah, of course.

32
00:01:34,838 --> 00:01:36,556
What do you suspect?

33
00:01:37,325 --> 00:01:38,841
- (GULPS)
- (SUCKS)

34
00:01:38,842 --> 00:01:40,409
Isn't this great?

35
00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:42,211
Daddy-baby alone time.

36
00:01:42,212 --> 00:01:44,547
Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

37
00:01:44,548 --> 00:01:46,716
(SQUEALS AND LAUGHS)

38
00:01:46,717 --> 00:01:49,151
- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.
- (SIGHS)

39
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,320
- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.
- Meh.

40
00:01:51,321 --> 00:01:53,522
- Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.
- (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

41
00:01:53,523 --> 00:01:55,725
Where's Daddy? Peek-a-boo.

42
00:01:55,726 --> 00:01:57,360
Oh, you're sick of it already?

43
00:01:57,361 --> 00:01:59,495
I was gonna do different people.

44
00:01:59,496 --> 00:02:02,031
Peek-a-boo-ooh!

45
00:02:02,032 --> 00:02:03,866
(WITH BRITISH ACCENT):
I'm afraid, Master Wayne,

46
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:06,001
it's time for peek-a-boo.

47
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:07,503
Ah, come on. Nothing?

48
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:09,387
Babies love Michael Caine.

49
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,541
What to do? What to do?

50
00:02:13,173 --> 00:02:15,177
What to... do.

51
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,765
What... to... do.

52
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:21,440
Mags, I'll level with you.

53
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:22,809
I love you, kiddo,

54
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,613
but we are in two completely
different worlds.

55
00:02:25,614 --> 00:02:27,631
- (GULPS)
- (SUCKS)

56
00:02:31,604 --> 00:02:34,588
- More lemonade, ladies?
- No, thank you.

57
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:37,491
I've had better lemonade
at Ralph Wiggum's stand.

58
00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:39,819
And he stirs it with his finger.

59
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:42,696
(LAUGHING)

60
00:02:42,697 --> 00:02:45,799
So we've been asked to
redecorate the school room

61
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,068
where the kids wait when
their ride is late.

62
00:02:48,069 --> 00:02:49,637
I have some ideas.

63
00:02:49,638 --> 00:02:52,292
Marge, you have many wonderful talents,

64
00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:54,328
but your sense of style is, uh...

65
00:02:54,329 --> 00:02:56,731
- One of them?
- I'm afraid not.

66
00:02:56,732 --> 00:02:58,666
Purple and orange cupboards,

67
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,101
oh, corncob curtains,

68
00:03:00,102 --> 00:03:02,136
rabbit ears on the TV.

69
00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:04,538
It's like we're visiting
the Flintstones.

70
00:03:04,539 --> 00:03:06,507
(LAUGHING)

71
00:03:06,508 --> 00:03:08,342
Well, since you don't like my style,

72
00:03:08,343 --> 00:03:10,277
maybe I should show you the door.

73
00:03:10,278 --> 00:03:13,381
You mean the brown door
next to the hot pink walls.

74
00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:15,282
Just like at the circus.

75
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:17,685
Well, an elephant does live here.

76
00:03:17,686 --> 00:03:19,153
An elephant?

77
00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:21,489
You're calling my husband an elephant?

78
00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:23,791
HOMER: Marge, we got any more peanuts?

79
00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,810
(GROANING): Oh, Homer.

80
00:03:27,347 --> 00:03:28,562
Hmm.

81
00:03:28,563 --> 00:03:30,581
No.

82
00:03:31,985 --> 00:03:33,200
(WHISTLING)

83
00:03:33,201 --> 00:03:34,368
What the...?

84
00:03:34,369 --> 00:03:36,003
(WHISTLING)

85
00:03:36,004 --> 00:03:37,705
Is it that bird?

86
00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:40,875
(WHISTLING)

87
00:03:40,876 --> 00:03:43,411
- Marge! Are you making tea?
- MARGE: Yes.

88
00:03:43,412 --> 00:03:45,346
- Whew.
- MARGE: Iced tea.

89
00:03:45,347 --> 00:03:46,981
(WHIMPERING): What the hell?

90
00:03:46,982 --> 00:03:48,315
(WHISTLING CONTINUES)

91
00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:49,984
RADIO ANNOUNCER: This is WHIS.

92
00:03:49,985 --> 00:03:51,986
Whistling at you all day and night.

93
00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:54,555
WHIS, The Whistle.

94
00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:58,159
Ah. Whistling format radio.

95
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,661
- (WHISTLING CONTINUES)
- Huh?

96
00:04:00,662 --> 00:04:03,414
Where is that whistling coming from?

97
00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:06,116
(WHISTLES)

98
00:04:06,117 --> 00:04:07,167
Maggie?

99
00:04:07,168 --> 00:04:08,686
(WHISTLES)

100
00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,706
(WHISTLES)

101
00:04:11,707 --> 00:04:13,207
It is you!

102
00:04:13,208 --> 00:04:16,277
It's so odd... I'm a terrible whistler.

103
00:04:16,278 --> 00:04:18,512
- Always have been.
- (SAD WHISTLE)

104
00:04:18,513 --> 00:04:21,015
There must be a reason you
were given this gift.

105
00:04:21,016 --> 00:04:25,319
(GASPS) It's to make people
think I can whistle.

106
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,371
(WHISTLING "1812 OVERTURE")

107
00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,192
AUDIENCE (CHANTING):
Homer! Homer! Homer!

108
00:04:31,193 --> 00:04:33,127
And now I will perform

109
00:04:33,128 --> 00:04:36,731
"Flight of the Bumblebee."

110
00:04:36,732 --> 00:04:38,750
(WHISTLING "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE")

111
00:04:50,851 --> 00:04:52,413
Who was that president?

112
00:04:52,414 --> 00:04:53,931
He looked pretty generic.

113
00:04:57,905 --> 00:05:00,121
I do too have taste.

114
00:05:00,122 --> 00:05:02,490
- I'm afraid not.
- (GROWLS)

115
00:05:02,491 --> 00:05:04,510
Corncob curtains.

116
00:05:04,511 --> 00:05:06,293
Mom, what's wrong?

117
00:05:06,294 --> 00:05:08,129
Why aren't you answering me?

118
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:09,497
I'm right here.

119
00:05:09,498 --> 00:05:12,084
Honey, I'm just feeling
sorry for myself,

120
00:05:12,085 --> 00:05:13,567
but I'll show them.

121
00:05:13,568 --> 00:05:17,071
I'll make a late pickup room
like that school has never seen.

122
00:05:17,072 --> 00:05:19,123
That'll be easy, there's never been one.

123
00:05:21,461 --> 00:05:23,461
♪ ♪

124
00:05:46,753 --> 00:05:48,753
(BRAKES SQUEAL)

125
00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:55,042
♪ ♪

126
00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:58,312
Well, what do you think
of my late pickup room?

127
00:05:58,313 --> 00:06:00,114
It's wonderful. Hard to believe

128
00:06:00,115 --> 00:06:02,716
it's the same room they found
all those dead rats in.

129
00:06:02,717 --> 00:06:04,618
(LAUGHS)

130
00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:06,770
Well, maybe you can fool the Hibberts,

131
00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,197
but to me, this is the work of a...

132
00:06:08,198 --> 00:06:09,590
Genius.

133
00:06:09,591 --> 00:06:11,078
Salud.

134
00:06:12,294 --> 00:06:14,628
(GIGGLES) Well, gee.

135
00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:16,697
Guess who got a job today.

136
00:06:16,698 --> 00:06:17,832
- You?
- Nope.

137
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,733
The guy who went in after me.

138
00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:21,969
I-I totally set him up.

139
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:25,506
Listen, I recently purchased the
old post office to renovate.

140
00:06:25,507 --> 00:06:29,677
Would you like to be
my interior decorator?

141
00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:31,712
Well, ladies.

142
00:06:31,713 --> 00:06:33,981
Looks like someone appreciates me...

143
00:06:33,982 --> 00:06:36,632
The one man in town who trims his nails.

144
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:39,420
Is one of them giving you trouble?

145
00:06:39,421 --> 00:06:41,322
There's no room in the trunk, boss.

146
00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:42,823
- Bodies?
- No.

147
00:06:42,824 --> 00:06:44,592
Bottled water and
toilet paper, remember?

148
00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,894
We made that Costco run.

149
00:06:46,895 --> 00:06:49,230
(BEAUTIFULLY WHISTLING "OLD
MACDONALD HAD A FARM")

150
00:06:49,231 --> 00:06:50,698
Now do it backwards.

151
00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:52,533
(WHISTLING SAME TUNE BACKWARDS)

152
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:53,834
Now sideways.

153
00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:55,369
Hey, come on. She's just a baby.

154
00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:56,537
Who is?

155
00:06:56,538 --> 00:06:57,671
Uh, my talent.

156
00:06:57,672 --> 00:06:58,939
Makes sense.

157
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,875
Well, well, well.

158
00:07:00,876 --> 00:07:04,278
Seems like my no-talent
son can suddenly whistle.

159
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:07,581
Tell me, Homer, how'd
you trill that high "C"

160
00:07:07,582 --> 00:07:09,884
with your lips in second position?

161
00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:11,903
(WHISTLING)

162
00:07:14,307 --> 00:07:18,042
Oh, it's amazing.

163
00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:24,598
She's got my whistling gene, all right.

164
00:07:24,599 --> 00:07:27,067
Which, unfortunately,
skips a generation.

165
00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:30,037
I hope it works out better
for you than it did for me.

166
00:07:30,038 --> 00:07:32,973
I was booked on the top
whistling show on radio,

167
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:36,610
Your Blow of Blows, with Sid Wheezer.

168
00:07:36,611 --> 00:07:38,195
(APPLAUSE)

169
00:07:39,332 --> 00:07:41,448
Good evening, folks. Sid Wheezer here,

170
00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:44,018
sipping a delicious Buzz Cola.

171
00:07:44,019 --> 00:07:47,187
(FIZZING, LIQUID
POURING, CYMBAL CRASHES)

172
00:07:47,188 --> 00:07:48,622
Ah, refreshing.

173
00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:51,325
Keep polio at bay, the Buzz Cola way.

174
00:07:51,326 --> 00:07:52,393
(LAUGHTER)

175
00:07:52,394 --> 00:07:53,594
Oh, thanks a lot.

176
00:07:53,595 --> 00:07:54,795
Our next act is a swell kid

177
00:07:54,796 --> 00:07:56,330
from right here in Springfield.

178
00:07:56,331 --> 00:07:58,766
His hobby is straightening
elbow macaroni.

179
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:01,502
(CHUCKLES) Let's here it for
Little Abraham Simpson.

180
00:08:01,503 --> 00:08:02,503
(APPLAUSE)

181
00:08:02,504 --> 00:08:05,339
(WHISTLES A TUNE)

182
00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:07,007
GRAMPA: Then I got cocky.

183
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:09,977
Tried a little stunt
called the Triple Windy.

184
00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,996
(WHISTLING "HEART AND SOUL" IN HARMONY)

185
00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:21,088
- (RIPPING)
- (GASPING)

186
00:08:21,089 --> 00:08:23,457
GRAMPA: Blew out the
ligaments in my lips.

187
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:25,492
Had to hire guys to kiss my girlfriend.

188
00:08:25,493 --> 00:08:26,994
It was a good deal.

189
00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:28,362
I'd pay for five minutes,

190
00:08:28,363 --> 00:08:30,264
but it would go on for hours.

191
00:08:30,265 --> 00:08:31,632
♪ ♪

192
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:33,000
When the time was right,

193
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:34,601
I'd make my move.

194
00:08:34,602 --> 00:08:36,620
♪ ♪

195
00:08:39,258 --> 00:08:41,976
But this little magpie,
she's got my gift.

196
00:08:41,977 --> 00:08:44,589
And now she's going into showbiz.

197
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:46,847
Couldn't showbiz screw her up?

198
00:08:46,848 --> 00:08:48,349
You know, like it did Ron Howard?

199
00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:51,285
He hasn't won an Oscar since 2002.

200
00:08:51,286 --> 00:08:54,121
Oh, please, son, do this for me.

201
00:08:54,122 --> 00:08:57,024
Dad, you should not live your
life through your granddaughter.

202
00:08:57,025 --> 00:08:59,043
(WHISTLING "HEART AND SOUL" IN HARMONY)

203
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:09,820
You poor guy. She'll do it.

204
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,637
(BIRDS CHIRPING, SQUAWKING)

205
00:09:18,082 --> 00:09:20,800
Okay, Maggie. Time to learn a happy tune

206
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:23,069
from these imprisoned birds.

207
00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:24,537
(WHISTLES)

208
00:09:24,538 --> 00:09:26,639
(WHISTLES SAME TUNE)

209
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,316
Man, Maggie's talented, Lisa's talented.

210
00:09:29,317 --> 00:09:31,693
- What am I good at?
- The birds love ya.

211
00:09:31,694 --> 00:09:34,072
Well, yeah, but they also love Grampa.

212
00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:38,734
Go ahead, but my blood's turned to bile

213
00:09:38,735 --> 00:09:41,637
from watching Fox News.

214
00:09:41,638 --> 00:09:43,539
(SHRIEKS, THUD)

215
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,341
(LAUGHS)

216
00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:47,476
This is my new property,

217
00:09:47,477 --> 00:09:50,312
the original Springfield Post Office,

218
00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:53,349
jewel of the implosion district.

219
00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,234
(RUMBLING)

220
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,053
You'll get used to that.

221
00:09:58,054 --> 00:10:01,924
We'll definitely want to try
to keep the original facade.

222
00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:03,125
Yes, indeed.

223
00:10:03,126 --> 00:10:05,795
I'm all about keeping up facades.

224
00:10:05,796 --> 00:10:07,997
Is it okay if I take some
foundation measurements?

225
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,498
Of course.

226
00:10:09,499 --> 00:10:11,600
In case she sees
something she shouldn't,

227
00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,352
have a hood ready.

228
00:10:14,388 --> 00:10:15,571
(GUN HAMMERS CLICK)

229
00:10:15,572 --> 00:10:17,373
- (GUNSHOT)
- (GASPS)

230
00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:19,775
Idiota! You whack who you shouldn't,

231
00:10:19,776 --> 00:10:21,811
and you don't whack who you should.

232
00:10:21,812 --> 00:10:24,613
(SIGHS) Is this about
your brother again?

233
00:10:24,614 --> 00:10:26,932
(UPBEAT SHOWBIZ MUSIC PLAYING)

234
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:35,024
You're gonna love this baby!

235
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,293
- She whistles!
- This I gotta hear...

236
00:10:37,294 --> 00:10:39,428
Not because I am looking forward to it,

237
00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:41,480
but because it is my job.

238
00:10:45,486 --> 00:10:48,571
- (WHISTLES CIRCUS MUSIC)
- Fantastic talent!

239
00:10:48,572 --> 00:10:51,140
Now, move along... I have
a heart attack at 4:00.

240
00:10:51,141 --> 00:10:52,708
And... here it comes.

241
00:10:52,709 --> 00:10:54,693
Ooh! Oy vey!

242
00:10:56,597 --> 00:10:58,630
("THE SIMPSONS THEME" PLAYS)

243
00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:01,617
You sit on it, you bought it.

244
00:11:01,618 --> 00:11:02,835
Due!

245
00:11:04,505 --> 00:11:06,822
Can you picture this water feature

246
00:11:06,823 --> 00:11:09,358
at the back wall of the foyer?

247
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:12,027
My sainted mother shared your gift.

248
00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:14,463
Where others saw only an
empty Chianti bottle,

249
00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:16,899
she saw a candle holder.

250
00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:19,088
We would have to rip out some walls.

251
00:11:19,089 --> 00:11:20,159
Done.

252
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,304
You won't be seeing
those walls no more.

253
00:11:22,305 --> 00:11:25,140
Why do these guys come
with us for everything?

254
00:11:25,141 --> 00:11:27,176
Have you noticed how we are not dead?

255
00:11:27,177 --> 00:11:29,578
That is mostly due to them.

256
00:11:29,579 --> 00:11:31,814
Give the wall job to
the Palermo brothers.

257
00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:34,483
Tell them to make it
look like an accident.

258
00:11:34,484 --> 00:11:37,386
We'll make that wall dig its own grave.

259
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,655
(SOMEONE WHISTLING ARPEGGIOS)

260
00:11:39,656 --> 00:11:43,802
(WHISTLED ARPEGGIOS CONTINUE)

261
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,327
What's that whistling?

262
00:11:45,328 --> 00:11:47,196
You know what they say... in a marriage,

263
00:11:47,197 --> 00:11:49,932
don't ask a question you
don't know the answer to.

264
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:52,235
That's what they say
to defense attorneys.

265
00:11:52,236 --> 00:11:56,005
Marge, how would you feel if I
kept a big secret from you?

266
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:59,124
How would you feel if I
kept a big secret from you?

267
00:12:00,488 --> 00:12:02,137
- Good night.
- Good night.

268
00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:05,564
(SOMEONE WHISTLING ARPEGGIOS)

269
00:12:08,025 --> 00:12:10,219
(WHISTLING ARPEGGIOS)

270
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:11,954
Maggie, you can whistle?

271
00:12:11,955 --> 00:12:13,622
(WHISTLES ARPEGGIO)

272
00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:16,025
(GASPS) You're gifted, too!

273
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,127
Maybe more gifted!

274
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,763
No, no, I will not get
caught in that trap

275
00:12:20,764 --> 00:12:22,911
that only one of us is good.

276
00:12:22,912 --> 00:12:25,548
We could both be good,
like the South Park guys.

277
00:12:25,549 --> 00:12:27,438
Except Trey does everything.

278
00:12:27,439 --> 00:12:29,287
Trey does everything!

279
00:12:29,288 --> 00:12:31,572
(PANTING)

280
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,692
(MAGGIE WHISTLES ARPEGGIO)

281
00:12:34,693 --> 00:12:36,076
Diva.

282
00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:38,963
This little piggy went to Broadway.

283
00:12:38,964 --> 00:12:41,198
This little piggy worked with Stallone.

284
00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:44,335
This little piggy got
a Showtime special!

285
00:12:44,336 --> 00:12:46,570
- (LAUGHING)
- (SQUEALING HAPPILY)

286
00:12:46,571 --> 00:12:48,572
I'm a great father.

287
00:12:48,573 --> 00:12:50,901
ANNOUNCER: Tonight on
Hollywood Nightmares,

288
00:12:50,902 --> 00:12:53,444
- What?!
- Child stars, prison bars.

289
00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:55,346
- (PRISON BARS CLACK)
- Ooh!

290
00:12:55,347 --> 00:12:58,394
At three months old, Skyler
Green could already patty-cake.

291
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:00,418
By age one, she was the opening act

292
00:13:00,419 --> 00:13:02,803
for Frank Sinatra Jr. Jr. III.

293
00:13:05,456 --> 00:13:08,092
But after a disastrous
Super Bowl halftime show

294
00:13:08,093 --> 00:13:11,228
that left Jacksonville's
EverBank Field in ruins,

295
00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:14,165
Skyler's life would spin out of control.

296
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:15,900
She began a downward spiral,

297
00:13:15,901 --> 00:13:18,002
woke up too many mornings
with stuffed animals

298
00:13:18,003 --> 00:13:19,870
whose names she didn't know,

299
00:13:19,871 --> 00:13:21,939
and she was arrested twice
for former cuteness,

300
00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:23,674
under the Scott Baio Law.

301
00:13:23,675 --> 00:13:26,010
Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker's man,

302
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:29,914
bake me a train wreck
just as fast as you can.

303
00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,016
Oh, my God. Am I doing this for you,

304
00:13:32,017 --> 00:13:34,134
or because it makes me feel good?

305
00:13:36,706 --> 00:13:38,456
A showbiz kiss!

306
00:13:38,457 --> 00:13:41,903
There's nothing more sincere
than that. We'll do it!

307
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:48,193
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS)

308
00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:54,121
Marge, I love what you've done here.

309
00:13:54,122 --> 00:13:55,690
It's as much "Mwah!"

310
00:13:55,691 --> 00:13:57,957
as it is "Ey! Whoa!"

311
00:13:57,958 --> 00:14:00,993
It certainly was a
challenge... so many bedrooms.

312
00:14:00,994 --> 00:14:03,796
You must be expecting a
lot of sleepover guests.

313
00:14:03,797 --> 00:14:06,332
Is she, er, uh, one of the, uh...?

314
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,501
No, no. She's the decorator.

315
00:14:08,502 --> 00:14:10,603
But I can get one like her.

316
00:14:10,604 --> 00:14:12,772
Add it to my customer profile.

317
00:14:12,773 --> 00:14:14,640
Er, uh, yes.

318
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:16,676
Dim lighting,

319
00:14:16,677 --> 00:14:18,411
honky-tonk piano...

320
00:14:18,412 --> 00:14:20,112
Anthony D'Amico,

321
00:14:20,113 --> 00:14:22,615
what is the repute of this house?

322
00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:24,016
Ill.

323
00:14:24,017 --> 00:14:26,752
Our top story... you didn't see me.

324
00:14:26,753 --> 00:14:27,933
This is...

325
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,406
John Doe saying "Good night."

326
00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:39,786
Why is everyone being so
weird? Did the principal call?

327
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,367
'Cause he's got nothing to call about.

328
00:14:41,368 --> 00:14:42,568
(PHONE BUZZES)

329
00:14:42,569 --> 00:14:44,403
(ANIMAL GROWLING)

330
00:14:44,404 --> 00:14:47,440
I can't keep this mountain lion
in my bedroom forever, Bart.

331
00:14:47,441 --> 00:14:49,141
Just four more days.

332
00:14:49,142 --> 00:14:50,843
(MOUNTAIN LION YOWLS)

333
00:14:50,844 --> 00:14:53,996
So listen, uh, I'm gonna
take Maggie out for a walk.

334
00:14:57,268 --> 00:15:00,402
These spray-on boas are
such a time-saver.

335
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:04,824
(SPRAY CAN HISSES)

336
00:15:04,825 --> 00:15:06,139
HOMER: Oh, God, that's good.

337
00:15:07,404 --> 00:15:11,013
Seems like everybody's got a
secret but us, huh, guys?

338
00:15:14,452 --> 00:15:15,935
♪ ♪

339
00:15:15,936 --> 00:15:18,237
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, see Maggie Simpson,

340
00:15:18,238 --> 00:15:19,405
the Unborn Comic,

341
00:15:19,406 --> 00:15:20,654
The Umbilical Chords

342
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:22,641
and the Pixie Chicks.

343
00:15:22,642 --> 00:15:23,943
And now your host,

344
00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:26,412
Sedgwick the Personality!

345
00:15:26,413 --> 00:15:28,814
Welcome to whatever this is.

346
00:15:28,815 --> 00:15:30,816
Now, let's meet our judges.

347
00:15:30,817 --> 00:15:34,420
NBA star and host of Flip That Igloo,

348
00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:36,956
Muk Mu!

349
00:15:36,957 --> 00:15:38,157
Peace.

350
00:15:38,158 --> 00:15:40,092
Former Hot Tots champion,

351
00:15:40,093 --> 00:15:42,661
Baby Dimples Riskind!

352
00:15:42,662 --> 00:15:46,632
And robotic-themed DJ Der Zip-Zorp!

353
00:15:46,633 --> 00:15:47,983
(BEEPING)

354
00:15:51,188 --> 00:15:54,740
You had lunch, didn't you?

355
00:15:54,741 --> 00:15:57,176
I gave you a 2:00 a.m.
curfew for a reason!

356
00:15:57,177 --> 00:15:58,411
Shut up!

357
00:15:58,412 --> 00:16:00,913
(GROANS) Where's denial
when you need it?

358
00:16:00,914 --> 00:16:02,681
Maggie, this is no place for you.

359
00:16:02,682 --> 00:16:06,168
I'm taking you where you can
be a kid again... Moe's.

360
00:16:11,876 --> 00:16:14,226
Oh, I've created a monster!

361
00:16:14,227 --> 00:16:16,245
I've placated a monster!

362
00:16:17,815 --> 00:16:18,831
Oh...

363
00:16:18,832 --> 00:16:21,967
Marge Simpson, are the rumors true?

364
00:16:21,968 --> 00:16:24,403
Did you corncob a cathouse?

365
00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:26,372
It's not that.

366
00:16:26,373 --> 00:16:30,609
I sure love that new whorehouse smell.

367
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:33,512
Marge, I never thought someone
could sink this town lower,

368
00:16:33,513 --> 00:16:35,281
but you have.

369
00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:37,843
You lied to me!

370
00:16:37,844 --> 00:16:39,018
You may scare these guys,

371
00:16:39,019 --> 00:16:41,754
but to me, you're just a big fat liar!

372
00:16:41,755 --> 00:16:44,306
Whoa. Nobody calls Fat Tony fat!

373
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,357
Nobody!

374
00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:46,759
In the old country,

375
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,562
only two were allowed to
speak truth to the Don...

376
00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:52,898
His capo and his interior decorator.

377
00:16:52,899 --> 00:16:54,800
You are lucky.

378
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:56,168
Now, please leave.

379
00:16:56,169 --> 00:16:57,870
The launch party is tonight.

380
00:16:57,871 --> 00:17:00,639
The Grey Goose people are
bringing a big ice thing.

381
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:04,243
Well, Anthony, not knowing
what I was designing for,

382
00:17:04,244 --> 00:17:06,445
there's something I didn't tell you.

383
00:17:06,446 --> 00:17:09,181
Your mother had a post office box

384
00:17:09,182 --> 00:17:11,050
at this office.

385
00:17:11,051 --> 00:17:14,603
I don't know whether to believe you.

386
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:21,443
Oh, looks like a letter from the pope.

387
00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:30,074
You have surrounded a blessed
letter to your mother

388
00:17:30,075 --> 00:17:32,071
with a bordello!

389
00:17:32,072 --> 00:17:34,073
That's it! Shut it down!

390
00:17:34,074 --> 00:17:36,992
Apologize to our dear
friends at Grey Goose.

391
00:17:38,863 --> 00:17:41,046
So, what are you going
to do with my work?

392
00:17:41,047 --> 00:17:43,582
A little "Italian lightning"
for insurance purposes.

393
00:17:43,583 --> 00:17:47,551
And that is the last question
of yours we will ever answer.

394
00:17:47,552 --> 00:17:50,089
Good-bye, Mrs. Simpson.

395
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,892
Can't you at least wait until
I'm out of the building?

396
00:17:52,893 --> 00:17:55,394
I'm sorry, I get nervous,
I do dumb things.

397
00:17:55,395 --> 00:17:57,496
Maybe it's because I'm wearing a wire.

398
00:17:57,497 --> 00:17:58,614
Uh-oh.

399
00:18:00,351 --> 00:18:02,768
Now, put your hands together for
the one who's going to win.

400
00:18:02,769 --> 00:18:04,737
Whoops. That's supposed to be a secret.

401
00:18:04,738 --> 00:18:06,605
Nothing I can do... in one moment,

402
00:18:06,606 --> 00:18:09,975
Maggie will stop being my little
baby and belong to the world.

403
00:18:09,976 --> 00:18:13,512
I remember her when she was
just a bit of bad news.

404
00:18:13,513 --> 00:18:17,182
Time for the greatest glory
there is... reflected.

405
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,751
AUDIENCE: Aw...

406
00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:20,686
(SPUTTERING, TUNELESS BLOWING)

407
00:18:20,687 --> 00:18:22,421
(BLOWS, GRUNTS)

408
00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:25,190
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

409
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,527
Oh, come on, I'm cheating
on my wife to see this?

410
00:18:28,528 --> 00:18:30,596
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES, WHEEZING)

411
00:18:30,597 --> 00:18:32,765
Look! She's got a tooth coming in!

412
00:18:32,766 --> 00:18:34,667
That's the kiss of death for a whistler.

413
00:18:34,668 --> 00:18:36,435
Give me a string and a doorknob!

414
00:18:36,436 --> 00:18:39,772
That baby is naught but
an overly dramatic,

415
00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:41,941
boring windbag!

416
00:18:41,942 --> 00:18:44,944
A windbag that yields no succor!

417
00:18:44,945 --> 00:18:47,846
In sum, a nothing!

418
00:18:47,847 --> 00:18:49,381
(BEEPING)

419
00:18:49,382 --> 00:18:51,450
(AUDIENCE BOOING LOUDLY)

420
00:18:51,451 --> 00:18:53,686
What? They're booing my Maggie?

421
00:18:53,687 --> 00:18:56,221
This is the sweetest
little girl in the world.

422
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,474
Nice try, but no hook can fit me.

423
00:19:02,046 --> 00:19:04,330
This little angel never makes a fuss.

424
00:19:04,331 --> 00:19:06,165
She always shares her baby food,

425
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:09,768
and she makes even a despicable
show like this seem sweet!

426
00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:12,004
Hey, pal, this is a
talent show for babies.

427
00:19:12,005 --> 00:19:13,422
We ain't goin' for sweet.

428
00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:20,479
The only thing that's been
worth it about this experience

429
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,016
is that I got to spend time
with this little girl.

430
00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:26,456
And that's the tooth!

431
00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:29,688
HOMER: Good night, my little star.

432
00:19:29,689 --> 00:19:31,557
And if you have another amazing talent,

433
00:19:31,558 --> 00:19:34,593
for the love of God, don't tell anybody.

434
00:19:34,594 --> 00:19:36,031
Nighty-night.

435
00:19:41,426 --> 00:19:45,055
Okay, so I'll never enter
Maggie into another contest

436
00:19:45,056 --> 00:19:47,459
without telling you, and
you'll never design

437
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,895
another sex palace for the Mob.

438
00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:52,330
Agreed. No more secrets from each other.

439
00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:54,199
(YAWNS)

440
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,401
No more secrets.

441
00:19:56,402 --> 00:19:58,837
(SNORING)

442
00:19:58,838 --> 00:20:00,021
(MUMBLES)

443
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,914
Are you letting out my pants?

444
00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:04,540
I'm afraid so.

445
00:20:04,541 --> 00:20:07,260
I'm not really a size 32?

446
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,994
(HOMER CRIES)