1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,771 (♪♪♪) 2 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,414 (BELL DINGING) 3 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,718 (BURPS) 4 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,020 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 5 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,255 (LENNY YELLS) 6 00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:35,070 (♪♪♪) 7 00:00:35,106 --> 00:00:37,106 (PLAYING LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC) 8 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,275 (GRUNTS) 9 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:00,768 (HORN HONKS) 10 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,072 D'oh! 11 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,874 (GRUNTS) 12 00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:09,877 (♪♪♪) 13 00:01:09,913 --> 00:01:11,579 FLANDERS: Okily dokily. 14 00:01:13,450 --> 00:01:16,083 Aw, our own home. 15 00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:19,287 (♪♪♪) 16 00:01:19,311 --> 00:01:25,638 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 17 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:28,296 (GRAMPA SNORING) 18 00:01:28,331 --> 00:01:31,365 All right. Takeout Chinese. 19 00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:33,167 Everyone can have their favorite thing. 20 00:01:33,203 --> 00:01:35,369 Bart, General Tso's chicken. 21 00:01:35,405 --> 00:01:38,306 For Lisa, Pacifist Tso's tofu. 22 00:01:38,341 --> 00:01:40,975 For Maggie, Kung Pao Cheerios. 23 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:43,311 And, Homer, I've got your favorite... 24 00:01:43,346 --> 00:01:45,346 Favorite? That's my favorite. 25 00:01:45,346 --> 00:01:47,113 ...MSG. 26 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,183 Mmm. 27 00:01:50,218 --> 00:01:51,585 Ah, needs salt. 28 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,219 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 29 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,956 Y'ello. 30 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,349 Ahoy-hoy, Simpson. 31 00:01:57,349 --> 00:01:59,750 I have four seats to tonight's basketball joust, 32 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,750 and you were at the top of my list. 33 00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:13,870 So, what do you say? 34 00:02:13,906 --> 00:02:15,238 Thank you, Mr. Burns. 35 00:02:15,274 --> 00:02:17,040 Oh, boy, courtside seats. 36 00:02:17,075 --> 00:02:19,928 - I feel like Billy Crystal's doctor. - Who was it? 37 00:02:19,928 --> 00:02:21,894 You'll never believe it. We just got... 38 00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:24,564 HOMER'S BRAIN: Homer, wait. You don't want to go with them. 39 00:02:24,599 --> 00:02:26,065 Why not? They're my family. 40 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,234 Sweetie, I know that you're talking to your brain. 41 00:02:28,269 --> 00:02:31,237 Why don't you just do whatever your heart tells you? 42 00:02:31,272 --> 00:02:32,738 Ugh, not that guy. 43 00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:34,974 (SHOUTS) I'm numb. 44 00:02:35,009 --> 00:02:36,609 Chest pains! 45 00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:42,014 Just go to the game with your friends. 46 00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,683 Brain, you're the greatest. 47 00:02:43,718 --> 00:02:45,787 Is there anything I can do for you? 48 00:02:45,787 --> 00:02:48,088 Yeah, you could read a book once in a while. 49 00:02:48,123 --> 00:02:49,522 D'oh! 50 00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:53,760 Carl, I got courtside seats! 51 00:02:53,795 --> 00:02:55,895 Lenny, I got courtside seats! 52 00:02:55,931 --> 00:02:57,997 Barney, I got courtside seats! 53 00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,065 I'm in. 54 00:02:59,101 --> 00:03:00,667 Who's on trial? 55 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:03,303 You guys got courtside seats? I'd love to go. 56 00:03:03,338 --> 00:03:05,271 Just let me lock up the good liquor. 57 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,344 Uh, sorry, we only have four tickets. 58 00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:13,113 Me, Lenny, Carl and Barney. 59 00:03:13,148 --> 00:03:14,614 You really don't want me? 60 00:03:14,649 --> 00:03:16,449 I, uh, I thought we was friends. 61 00:03:16,485 --> 00:03:17,917 Yeah, we did, too. 62 00:03:17,953 --> 00:03:19,786 Then we realized you were serving us beer 63 00:03:19,821 --> 00:03:21,121 that's mostly suds. 64 00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:23,704 Also, your chicken wings weren't chicken. 65 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,671 Hey, meat's meat. Although none of it was meat. 66 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,206 Look, hey, where we going with this? 67 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,807 You're not invited, Moe. 68 00:03:28,843 --> 00:03:30,915 Hey, wha...? 69 00:03:30,915 --> 00:03:32,989 LENNY: Not invited, not invited. 70 00:03:32,989 --> 00:03:35,489 BARNEY: Who's on trial? 71 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:37,358 (♪♪♪) 72 00:03:46,235 --> 00:03:49,737 Wow. Wow. I am truly alone in this world. 73 00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:52,106 ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE: No, you're not. 74 00:03:52,141 --> 00:03:54,975 Uh, thanks, uh, Anti-Suicide Keychain. 75 00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:56,210 ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE: You're welcome. 76 00:03:56,245 --> 00:03:57,611 I care about you... 77 00:03:57,647 --> 00:03:59,146 MOE: (ON KEYCHAIN) Uh, Moe Szyslak. 78 00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:00,648 ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE: ...very much. 79 00:04:00,683 --> 00:04:01,816 (SNIFFLES) 80 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,492 _ 81 00:04:07,256 --> 00:04:09,323 Uh, Moe, about last night... 82 00:04:09,358 --> 00:04:11,058 Yeah, on the house, fellas. 83 00:04:11,094 --> 00:04:12,159 (ALL GASP) 84 00:04:12,195 --> 00:04:14,228 And I got new cocktail napkins 85 00:04:14,263 --> 00:04:16,130 that ain't just unpaid parking tickets. 86 00:04:16,165 --> 00:04:18,099 See? Yeah, huh? 87 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,567 How about that? 88 00:04:19,602 --> 00:04:22,470 Why you being so nice to us after we rejected you? 89 00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:25,639 Well, maybe the problem wasn't youse, maybe it was mees. 90 00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,908 So, I'se, uh, sprucing up the bar, 91 00:04:27,944 --> 00:04:30,945 trying to make things nice, you know, like they used to be. 92 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:34,949 Hey! It's the Pin Pals, our old bowling team! 93 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,684 Those were great times. 94 00:04:36,719 --> 00:04:38,486 Them were the best times. 95 00:04:38,521 --> 00:04:40,755 Closer than brothers, we was, says I. 96 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:43,824 Then Apu had his octopuses, and suddenly he didn't have time 97 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:46,761 to bowl with his buddies five nights a week. 98 00:04:46,796 --> 00:04:48,896 But as I said, great times. 99 00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:56,504 Guys, I think we should reform the Pin Pals, 100 00:04:56,539 --> 00:04:59,940 but this time with me, Lenny, Carl and Moe! 101 00:04:59,976 --> 00:05:02,380 (GASPS) Oh, guys, I would love to! 102 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:04,510 But I can't bowl no more. 103 00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:07,077 I got beer-pull tunnel syndrome. 104 00:05:08,447 --> 00:05:09,947 Ow! 105 00:05:11,017 --> 00:05:12,850 Another, please. 106 00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:15,085 Ow! 107 00:05:16,088 --> 00:05:18,322 It's a little short. 108 00:05:18,357 --> 00:05:20,090 (GRUNTS IN PAIN) 109 00:05:20,126 --> 00:05:22,927 I guess you'll have to ask Barney to bowl with ya's. 110 00:05:22,962 --> 00:05:25,563 - Do they have beer? - Yes. 111 00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:27,832 To bowling! 112 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,500 ♪ I get knocked down ♪ 113 00:05:29,535 --> 00:05:31,001 ♪ But I get up again ♪ 114 00:05:31,037 --> 00:05:32,937 ♪ You're never gonna keep me down... ♪ 115 00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,740 Moe, this is for you. 116 00:05:38,611 --> 00:05:39,944 Ah. 117 00:05:39,979 --> 00:05:42,079 - What do you say? - Coach? Terrific! 118 00:05:42,114 --> 00:05:45,082 I love screaming at people who are trying their best. 119 00:05:45,117 --> 00:05:46,550 OTHERS: To Moe! 120 00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:48,252 What are you doing? Don't drink that. 121 00:05:48,287 --> 00:05:49,587 You're in training. 122 00:05:49,622 --> 00:05:50,855 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ 123 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:53,090 ♪ Boys are back in town... ♪ 124 00:05:55,194 --> 00:05:57,928 A lot of music in this episode. 125 00:05:57,964 --> 00:06:00,231 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ _ 126 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,833 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ _ 127 00:06:02,869 --> 00:06:04,368 ♪ Boys are back in town ♪ 128 00:06:04,403 --> 00:06:05,836 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ 129 00:06:05,872 --> 00:06:07,538 ♪ The boys are back ♪ 130 00:06:07,573 --> 00:06:09,073 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 131 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:18,883 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) 132 00:06:18,918 --> 00:06:20,451 ♪ The boys are back in town ♪ 133 00:06:20,486 --> 00:06:21,852 ♪ Boys are back in town ♪ _ 134 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,323 _ 135 00:06:24,323 --> 00:06:27,625 ♪ I said the boys are back in town ♪ 136 00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:30,327 ♪ The boys are back in town... ♪ 137 00:06:30,363 --> 00:06:33,497 Okay, sidekicks, back in our shadows. 138 00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:36,990 _ 139 00:06:39,505 --> 00:06:41,939 CHOIR: ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 140 00:06:41,974 --> 00:06:44,141 ♪ Hallelujah. ♪ 141 00:06:52,385 --> 00:06:54,285 - Yay! - Yay! 142 00:07:06,299 --> 00:07:07,464 We made it, boys. 143 00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:11,268 Going to the state finals in Capital City! 144 00:07:11,304 --> 00:07:13,070 (GRUNTING) 145 00:07:13,105 --> 00:07:16,640 Uh, sorry, that's where we store our extra balls. 146 00:07:16,676 --> 00:07:18,575 Quick! Rest his head! 147 00:07:19,578 --> 00:07:21,345 Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. 148 00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:23,817 Ow! Ow! 149 00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:25,816 MOE: All right, the state finals. 150 00:07:25,816 --> 00:07:29,479 If we win this, the next tournament is on ESPN8. 151 00:07:30,444 --> 00:07:32,277 All right, guys, don't be yokels. 152 00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,598 Just act like you seen it all before. 153 00:07:34,598 --> 00:07:36,231 Holy crap! 154 00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:37,899 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 155 00:07:41,405 --> 00:07:43,605 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 156 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,623 _ 157 00:07:53,617 --> 00:07:55,584 Uh, it says we're on lane 17. 158 00:07:55,619 --> 00:07:58,153 Wow! Topiary lane numbers. 159 00:07:58,188 --> 00:08:00,355 I'll bet they're plastic. 160 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:02,791 Yep, they are, but don't tell management. 161 00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:05,978 So I guess we're playing you guys, huh? 162 00:08:06,013 --> 00:08:07,412 Best two out of three. 163 00:08:07,448 --> 00:08:09,781 I'm Reynolds. We're high-frequency traders. 164 00:08:09,817 --> 00:08:12,351 I was the model for The Wolf of Wall Street. 165 00:08:12,386 --> 00:08:14,820 I was the model for American Psycho. 166 00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:20,242 I was a model for toe fungus in a Dr. Scholl's commercial. 167 00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:23,076 - And I was... - I'll give you $100 to stop talking. 168 00:08:23,112 --> 00:08:25,379 Deal! 169 00:08:25,414 --> 00:08:28,091 Hey, and here's a hundred for you for looking at me 170 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,992 like I am the most amazing thing you ever saw. 171 00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:33,895 I think I'm giving you a $500 look. 172 00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:36,398 Well, here's $400, and screw you. 173 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:40,769 Wow. I finally found my path in life: socio. 174 00:08:41,805 --> 00:08:43,238 Hey, Harold, buddy. 175 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,273 You know, I was wondering... 176 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,677 Excuse me. Why cheeseburgers? 177 00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:51,279 The cheese holds it together in flight. Duh. 178 00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:54,115 I mean, why do you throw them at good people? 179 00:08:54,151 --> 00:08:55,583 Question time is over. 180 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,485 Really hope that social worker pays better 181 00:08:57,521 --> 00:08:59,120 by the time you grow up. 182 00:08:59,156 --> 00:09:00,789 (CHUCKLES) Social worker. 183 00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:03,158 Hey. This little dingus gets it. 184 00:09:03,193 --> 00:09:04,659 All right, little man. 185 00:09:04,695 --> 00:09:07,195 From now on, we're gonna call you McDingus. 186 00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:09,264 You're treating me like dirt! 187 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,665 (CHUCKLES) I belong! 188 00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,136 (PHONE VIBRATES) 189 00:09:12,794 --> 00:09:14,294 I'm wearing a new hat! 190 00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:16,770 _ 191 00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:19,966 I'm gonna show you that the one thing in the world 192 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:22,945 that you're a little bit good at, I'm better. 193 00:09:22,945 --> 00:09:24,111 Okey-doke. 194 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,028 Damn it! 195 00:09:28,063 --> 00:09:29,229 All right, now, listen to me. 196 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,131 These stuffed suits don't stand a chance 197 00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:32,732 against us working joes. 198 00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:34,701 - Because we got... - Moxie? 199 00:09:34,736 --> 00:09:36,203 - Eh, no. - Uh, grit? 200 00:09:36,238 --> 00:09:37,671 Nah, we're pretty grit-less. 201 00:09:37,706 --> 00:09:39,372 Well, what have we got? 202 00:09:39,408 --> 00:09:40,874 My stepdad is Lebanese. 203 00:09:40,909 --> 00:09:42,642 We are a damn rainbow! 204 00:09:42,678 --> 00:09:43,844 - Yay! - Yeah! 205 00:09:50,619 --> 00:09:52,185 We win. We win! 206 00:09:52,221 --> 00:09:53,820 The first out of three! 207 00:09:53,856 --> 00:09:55,689 Huh! I haven't been this confident 208 00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:57,991 since I saw La La Land win Best Picture 209 00:09:58,026 --> 00:09:59,759 and turned off my TV. 210 00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:00,927 Good win, you guys. 211 00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:02,162 Lunch is on us. 212 00:10:02,197 --> 00:10:04,664 Wow! Is that a Visa double diamond card? 213 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,434 Yep. Doesn't have to be inserted or swiped. 214 00:10:07,469 --> 00:10:09,736 - It just knows. - Wow! 215 00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:12,205 - (ZAPPING) - It can sense that you're poor. 216 00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:17,110 Once again they substitute rhino for narwhal. 217 00:10:17,145 --> 00:10:19,446 (SCOFFS) It's like they think we won't notice. 218 00:10:21,149 --> 00:10:23,083 Thanks for lunch. 219 00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,886 And now you'll be eating crow for dessert. 220 00:10:25,921 --> 00:10:27,854 Uh, side note... I have actually eaten crow. 221 00:10:27,890 --> 00:10:30,357 It is not bad. Tastes like seagull. 222 00:10:30,392 --> 00:10:33,927 Chang-stein, I bet you that I can break down 223 00:10:33,962 --> 00:10:38,765 this loser right here in, oh, 15 seconds. 224 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,903 Moe, I would like to ask you about your last birthday. 225 00:10:42,938 --> 00:10:44,571 W-Why? W-What have you heard? 226 00:10:44,606 --> 00:10:45,805 Did you have a party? 227 00:10:45,841 --> 00:10:47,407 - No, sir. - (LISA GROANS) 228 00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,309 - Cake? - No. 229 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,745 Ah, man, it looks like he's tearing Moe a new one. 230 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,546 Well, most of his old ones are pretty bad, 231 00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:55,081 so that could be a good thing. 232 00:10:55,117 --> 00:10:56,650 So, did you leave your house? 233 00:10:56,685 --> 00:10:58,285 No. (SOBS) 234 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,319 Any phone calls? 235 00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,288 - Y-Yes. - Meant for you? 236 00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:03,890 No! (SOBBING) 237 00:11:03,926 --> 00:11:07,060 I pretended to be someone who was interested 238 00:11:07,095 --> 00:11:09,729 in carpet cleaning. 239 00:11:09,765 --> 00:11:11,998 (WATCH CHIMING) 240 00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:15,568 Um, that's time, and he is definitely crying, so you win. 241 00:11:15,604 --> 00:11:18,471 Bart, you don't want to be with these guys. 242 00:11:18,507 --> 00:11:19,739 They're monsters. 243 00:11:19,775 --> 00:11:21,975 Hey, their 401Ks are monsters. 244 00:11:22,010 --> 00:11:24,678 Do you even know what a 401K is? 245 00:11:24,713 --> 00:11:26,479 I assume it's a gun. 246 00:11:26,515 --> 00:11:28,481 Yeah, well, I may not have much, 247 00:11:28,517 --> 00:11:30,784 but I got some things that matter, huh? 248 00:11:30,819 --> 00:11:33,186 My bar, my friends, my good name. 249 00:11:33,221 --> 00:11:34,521 OTHERS: Hear! Hear! 250 00:11:34,556 --> 00:11:36,990 All right, well, if you believe in your friends so much, 251 00:11:37,025 --> 00:11:39,859 how about we make a little wager on the match? 252 00:11:39,895 --> 00:11:42,796 - Uh, oh, can I bet on youse to win? - No. 253 00:11:42,831 --> 00:11:45,799 Careful, Moe. I got a bad feeling about this. 254 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:48,335 Just leave us be, huh? 255 00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:50,971 All right, how about this? If we win the next two games, 256 00:11:51,006 --> 00:11:54,007 your bar is ours, and you have to change 257 00:11:54,042 --> 00:11:55,875 your, uh, good name. 258 00:11:55,911 --> 00:11:58,178 LENNY: I got a bad feeling. 259 00:11:58,213 --> 00:12:00,180 ALL: (CHANTING) Bad feeling, bad feeling, 260 00:12:00,215 --> 00:12:02,949 (ALL GASP) 261 00:12:02,985 --> 00:12:06,052 But if I win, I want something I can share with my friends. 262 00:12:06,088 --> 00:12:09,022 Something only a rich guy like you can give us. 263 00:12:09,057 --> 00:12:11,458 Let's do this. 264 00:12:11,493 --> 00:12:13,960 MOE: Look at me, Moe Szyslak, shaking hands with a guy 265 00:12:13,996 --> 00:12:17,197 wearing a shirt worth more than I'll earn in my entire life. 266 00:12:17,232 --> 00:12:21,301 REYNOLDS: Ugh, it feels like I'm shaking hands with a squid. 267 00:12:21,336 --> 00:12:24,304 No, the squid has a much firmer grip. 268 00:12:24,339 --> 00:12:26,706 REYNOLDS: Hey, Pin Gals. 269 00:12:26,742 --> 00:12:28,942 ALL: Wha...? 270 00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:31,711 Hey, hey, hey, we ain't afraid of no bowling shirts. 271 00:12:31,747 --> 00:12:33,880 They're not shirts; it's compression wear, 272 00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:35,749 which increases blood flow to our arms 273 00:12:35,784 --> 00:12:37,550 and decreases wind resistance. 274 00:12:39,838 --> 00:12:41,537 Oh, yeah! 275 00:12:41,573 --> 00:12:43,372 They know two-handed bowling. 276 00:12:43,408 --> 00:12:44,707 Hey, we been hustled! 277 00:12:44,742 --> 00:12:47,244 Huh, if you can't trust hedge fund guys, 278 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,443 who can you trust? 279 00:12:49,412 --> 00:12:51,379 (PINS CLATTER) 280 00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:52,614 Nice toss. 281 00:12:52,649 --> 00:12:54,249 Um, nobody likes suck-ups. _ 282 00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:56,451 All right? Cheeseburger. 283 00:12:56,999 --> 00:12:59,470 I want to help you stand up to them. 284 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,636 But they're traders. 285 00:13:00,671 --> 00:13:02,905 All we know is how to collect information. 286 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,707 Everyone has a weak spot. 287 00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:07,941 We will aggregate their emotional responses 288 00:13:07,977 --> 00:13:10,344 and run a regression through the data. 289 00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:12,346 Thanks for dumbing it down for us. 290 00:13:12,381 --> 00:13:14,381 Polish your balls? 291 00:13:14,416 --> 00:13:16,450 Man, this alley does everything. 292 00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:19,152 Oh, I don't work for the alley. 293 00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:21,321 No, indeed. 294 00:13:26,144 --> 00:13:27,629 Bart? 295 00:13:27,629 --> 00:13:29,596 Hey, Mom, I got a question for you. 296 00:13:29,631 --> 00:13:32,332 - Am I too young to start drinking vodka? - Yes. 297 00:13:32,368 --> 00:13:34,434 Wish you would've told me that an hour ago. 298 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:36,169 Here's a little "don't tell Homer" money. 299 00:13:36,169 --> 00:13:38,809 If you love money with all your heart, 300 00:13:38,809 --> 00:13:40,775 the money will never love you back. 301 00:13:40,811 --> 00:13:42,844 Will having no money make me happy? 302 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,147 No. 303 00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:46,781 Does Bill Gates love his wife? 304 00:13:46,817 --> 00:13:49,184 Melinda? Of course he does. 305 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:52,554 They started a foundation that does wonderful things. 306 00:13:52,589 --> 00:13:54,556 - With money, right? - Yes. 307 00:13:54,591 --> 00:13:57,692 So, money's the answer for everything. 308 00:13:57,728 --> 00:14:00,395 Have a C-note, sweetheart. 309 00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:02,564 - She gets it. - Oh! 310 00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:09,204 Whew, they really kicked our butts. 311 00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:12,207 (PANTS) I'm gonna lose my bar and my name. 312 00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,042 No Moe, no tavern, nothing. 313 00:14:14,077 --> 00:14:16,645 I'm gonna jump into that empty elevator shaft! 314 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,913 Moe, no! 315 00:14:17,948 --> 00:14:19,181 (PANTING) 316 00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:20,715 (SCREAMS) 317 00:14:22,052 --> 00:14:25,520 I just, uh... I can't win. 318 00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:27,722 (STRAINING) 319 00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:29,491 Oh, yeah, now we're getting somewhere. (GRUNTS) 320 00:14:30,878 --> 00:14:33,947 (♪♪♪) 321 00:14:37,971 --> 00:14:40,972 _ 322 00:14:41,308 --> 00:14:42,841 All right, we've come to that time... 323 00:14:42,876 --> 00:14:44,976 the time where I give that inspirational speech 324 00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,586 I've been keeping in my pocket. (CLEARS THROAT) 325 00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,078 You have given this lonely little man 326 00:14:50,078 --> 00:14:52,778 a reason to get up every single day, 327 00:14:52,814 --> 00:14:55,350 and that is why I love youse, Marge. 328 00:14:55,350 --> 00:14:57,044 I mean, uh, Pin Pals. Pin Pals. 329 00:14:57,044 --> 00:14:58,310 (CHEERING) 330 00:14:58,345 --> 00:14:59,711 And we got a secret weapon. 331 00:14:59,747 --> 00:15:01,913 This guy is sober. 332 00:15:01,949 --> 00:15:05,183 I am, because of the love of your sister. 333 00:15:05,219 --> 00:15:06,752 Now, just so you know, that was, 334 00:15:06,787 --> 00:15:08,487 that was a catfish thing, right? 335 00:15:08,522 --> 00:15:10,088 What's a "catfish" thing? 336 00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:12,316 I'll explain it to you after the match. 337 00:15:12,316 --> 00:15:13,615 Just don't drink. 338 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,185 You know how, uh, how Miriam hates it. 339 00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:19,755 You know, you sister looks just like Jennifer Lawrence. 340 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:22,491 And all her pictures say "Getty Images." 341 00:15:22,526 --> 00:15:24,893 Yeah, that's-that's a problem with your computer. 342 00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:27,296 Just stay sober, huh? 343 00:15:27,331 --> 00:15:28,330 Mm-hmm. 344 00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:31,033 Huh? 345 00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:33,419 (CHOIR SINGING ETHEREAL MUSIC) 346 00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:36,378 _ 347 00:15:36,707 --> 00:15:40,442 Hey, have you ever tasted liquid gold? 348 00:15:46,483 --> 00:15:49,051 You realize that was a thousand-dollar swallow. 349 00:15:50,988 --> 00:15:54,189 Return... to me. 350 00:15:54,225 --> 00:15:56,225 (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 351 00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,797 (CHEWBACCA-LIKE GROWL) 352 00:16:01,832 --> 00:16:05,467 ♫ GEORGE BAKER'S "LITTLE GREEN BAG" ♫ 353 00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:07,769 (♪♪♪) 354 00:16:14,378 --> 00:16:15,777 ♪ Yeah ♪ 355 00:16:20,985 --> 00:16:22,985 (MUSIC STOPS) 356 00:16:26,857 --> 00:16:28,957 Oh, what do you want? 357 00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:30,926 Fair warning: we have combed through 358 00:16:30,961 --> 00:16:34,563 all the emotional data on you to find your soft targets. 359 00:16:34,598 --> 00:16:36,265 What the hell are you talking about? 360 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,501 You'll see, in just 15 seconds. 361 00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:41,970 Reynolds, artificial intelligence 362 00:16:42,006 --> 00:16:44,907 is just three months away from taking your job. 363 00:16:44,942 --> 00:16:47,910 Without my job, I... I'm just a douche. 364 00:16:47,945 --> 00:16:49,978 You don't know that the other two 365 00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:51,914 are sleeping with your wife. 366 00:16:51,949 --> 00:16:54,983 I thought you were, but you?! 367 00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:57,019 You're all about your BMW, 368 00:16:57,054 --> 00:16:59,421 but you couldn't afford the sport package. 369 00:16:59,456 --> 00:17:01,523 (WILHELM SCREAM) (BUZZER SOUNDS) 370 00:17:01,558 --> 00:17:05,727 And I win, just like all good people always win. 371 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,363 - McDingus. - Yes, Father? 372 00:17:08,399 --> 00:17:11,333 Throw this at your sister. 373 00:17:11,368 --> 00:17:12,668 You won't do it, Bart. 374 00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:14,336 Why not? It's you and it's me, 375 00:17:14,371 --> 00:17:16,338 and it wastes food. 376 00:17:16,373 --> 00:17:18,340 You won't do it because, deep down, 377 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,609 there's something weird that connects us. 378 00:17:20,644 --> 00:17:21,677 You're crazy. 379 00:17:21,712 --> 00:17:23,278 Neither of us admits it, 380 00:17:23,314 --> 00:17:24,613 but it's there. 381 00:17:24,648 --> 00:17:26,648 I hold myself out to you. 382 00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:29,985 Go on, make my face the home of the Whopper. 383 00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:32,154 I-I can't do it. 384 00:17:32,189 --> 00:17:34,523 You do like me. You do! 385 00:17:34,558 --> 00:17:37,893 And we'll always keep this burger as a symbol of our fr... 386 00:17:37,928 --> 00:17:39,761 (CHEWING NOISILY) 387 00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:42,831 May I wax your alley? 388 00:17:42,866 --> 00:17:44,499 Will you get out of here?! 389 00:17:44,535 --> 00:17:47,302 All right, this is it, the tenth frame, the final frame. 390 00:17:47,338 --> 00:17:50,572 The frame where you start looking for your regular shoes. 391 00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:54,376 All right, Barney, just do your thing. No pressure. 392 00:17:54,411 --> 00:17:55,877 Here's a picture of my sister 393 00:17:55,913 --> 00:17:57,913 in the movie Silver Linings Playbook. 394 00:17:57,948 --> 00:17:59,581 - Take a look. - (BURPS) 395 00:17:59,616 --> 00:18:01,883 Hey, you guys liquored him up! 396 00:18:01,919 --> 00:18:05,721 Don't worry, Moe, I can still win the spelling bee. 397 00:18:05,756 --> 00:18:07,189 "Recidivism." 398 00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:09,591 "R"... um... 399 00:18:09,626 --> 00:18:11,827 Eh, because of this idiot, Homer, 400 00:18:11,862 --> 00:18:13,328 we need three strikes from you. 401 00:18:13,364 --> 00:18:15,831 I just want to know what it's like to be a winner, huh? 402 00:18:15,866 --> 00:18:17,032 Just one time. 403 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,001 What about that Women in Film award? 404 00:18:19,036 --> 00:18:21,136 - No, I stole that. - (OTHERS GASP) 405 00:18:21,171 --> 00:18:24,139 Okay, Moe, for you, I'll do it. 406 00:18:28,679 --> 00:18:31,413 We're gonna win. I'm not gonna have to start over again! 407 00:18:34,118 --> 00:18:37,052 Because starting over, uh, what would that even mean? 408 00:18:37,087 --> 00:18:39,087 ♫ "LA VIE EN ROSE" ♫ 409 00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:43,269 _ 410 00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:45,761 (SHIP HORN BLOWS) 411 00:18:45,796 --> 00:18:47,496 (♪♪♪) 412 00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:57,572 That could be my reality. 413 00:18:57,608 --> 00:18:59,741 Oh, my God, I got to lose this match. 414 00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,109 Homer, no! 415 00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:03,612 - Give me the ball! - I need it to bowl! 416 00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:05,113 I don't want to win! 417 00:19:05,149 --> 00:19:06,948 You're the worst coach ever! 418 00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:08,750 - (GRUNTING) - Just give me the damn ball! 419 00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:20,429 (CHEERING) 420 00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:21,963 What's wrong, Moe? 421 00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:24,599 - Yeah, we won. - Nothing. I just got to go back 422 00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:26,768 to the worst thing in the world, huh? 423 00:19:26,804 --> 00:19:28,937 Being me. (SIGHS HEAVILY) 424 00:19:28,972 --> 00:19:32,207 The guy you wouldn't even invite to a basketball game. 425 00:19:34,711 --> 00:19:36,912 Wha... uh, d-did somebody say "wait"? 426 00:19:36,947 --> 00:19:39,147 - OTHERS: No. - Well, I wouldn't come back now 427 00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:40,816 if you begged me. 428 00:19:40,851 --> 00:19:42,484 - LENNY: Wait! - Yeah? 429 00:19:42,519 --> 00:19:44,052 Just making a point. 430 00:19:47,991 --> 00:19:50,192 Surprise! 431 00:19:50,227 --> 00:19:51,927 You guys are my friends. 432 00:19:51,962 --> 00:19:54,362 - That's right. - We sure are. 433 00:19:54,398 --> 00:19:56,598 And we're gonna have a big party! 434 00:19:56,633 --> 00:19:59,301 Right after we get back from the basketball game. 435 00:20:03,173 --> 00:20:05,645 Eh, salt of the earth there. 436 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,853 All right, guys, since we won the championship, 437 00:20:08,853 --> 00:20:11,549 those hedge fund do-rags have to deliver 438 00:20:11,549 --> 00:20:15,217 an experience for me and my pals that only they can bring. 439 00:20:15,253 --> 00:20:16,686 When does it start? 440 00:20:16,721 --> 00:20:19,321 Right about... now. 441 00:20:24,395 --> 00:20:27,830 Welcome to how I always feel. 442 00:20:27,854 --> 00:20:34,220 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com -