1
00:00:02,951 --> 00:00:04,919
Ho! Ho! Ho!

2
00:00:09,958 --> 00:00:11,091
Happy birthd...!

3
00:00:14,095 --> 00:00:15,635
_

4
00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:40,793
Mm.

5
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:48,143
_

6
00:01:09,856 --> 00:01:11,090
D'oh!

7
00:01:22,769 --> 00:01:23,969
D'oh!

8
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:29,222
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

9
00:01:37,751 --> 00:01:39,685
♪ Pickin' up trash ♪

10
00:01:39,719 --> 00:01:41,487
♪ Put it in the bag ♪

11
00:01:41,521 --> 00:01:43,422
♪ Kentucky chicken bucket ♪

12
00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:45,023
♪ Put it in the bag ♪

13
00:01:45,058 --> 00:01:48,594
♪ Makin' four cents an hour
and free cigarettes ♪

14
00:01:48,628 --> 00:01:51,263
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪

15
00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:54,433
You have done a beautiful job, ladies.

16
00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:56,401
I think we're ready to move on.

17
00:02:05,211 --> 00:02:07,513
Homer!

18
00:02:07,547 --> 00:02:09,248
I'm awake! I'm awake! What?

19
00:02:09,282 --> 00:02:11,049
Oh, I wish you hadn't done that.

20
00:02:11,084 --> 00:02:13,352
Someone adopted this highway.

21
00:02:13,386 --> 00:02:14,953
Not so loud.

22
00:02:14,988 --> 00:02:16,355
The highway doesn't know it's adopted.

23
00:02:16,389 --> 00:02:18,290
But we love it just the same.

24
00:02:18,324 --> 00:02:21,393
Well, at least you rented
an SUV for this trip.

25
00:02:21,427 --> 00:02:23,695
Now I don't have to clean up the mess.

26
00:02:24,764 --> 00:02:27,132
I'm starting to get carsick.

27
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:29,434
Quick, stick your head out the window!

28
00:02:29,469 --> 00:02:31,069
No, no, no, no, it's a rental.

29
00:02:31,104 --> 00:02:32,671
Aim inside and blast away.

30
00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:34,139
Anyone want a caramel apple?

31
00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:35,974
- It's a rental.
- No, thanks.

32
00:02:36,009 --> 00:02:37,342
Shave the dog?

33
00:02:37,377 --> 00:02:38,710
It's a rental.

34
00:02:38,745 --> 00:02:40,412
Thank you, no.

35
00:02:40,974 --> 00:02:42,714
_

36
00:02:42,749 --> 00:02:45,150
Get me candy.

37
00:02:46,953 --> 00:02:48,520
What's so funny?

38
00:02:48,555 --> 00:02:50,823
Ha! You checked this out
with half a tank,

39
00:02:50,857 --> 00:02:52,891
but now it's three-quarters full.

40
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:56,762
I'm callin' you Santa 'cause you
just gifted us one-quarter tank.

41
00:02:56,796 --> 00:03:00,833
Nobody, and I mean nobody,
calls me Santa.

42
00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,836
What are you doing, Dad?

43
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:05,170
I'm gonna burn that quarter tank.

44
00:03:05,205 --> 00:03:07,673
Wasting gas while sitting on my ass.

45
00:03:07,707 --> 00:03:09,007
It's the American way.

46
00:03:11,578 --> 00:03:13,045
Whoo-hoo!

47
00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:29,795
Amazing, son!

48
00:03:29,829 --> 00:03:33,365
Unfortunately, your left foot
just grazed the sideline.

49
00:03:33,399 --> 00:03:34,867
Incomplete pass.

50
00:03:34,901 --> 00:03:36,068
Dad, I've got to pee.

51
00:03:36,102 --> 00:03:37,803
Huh? Huh?

52
00:03:37,837 --> 00:03:40,706
I know it's a rental,
but I'd rather go in the woods.

53
00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:41,974
Maybe I should come with you.

54
00:03:42,008 --> 00:03:43,642
Dad, come on. I'm ten years old.

55
00:03:43,676 --> 00:03:45,077
I can pee by myself. It's easy.

56
00:03:45,111 --> 00:03:46,778
You just shake it when you're through.

57
00:03:46,813 --> 00:03:47,946
You do what now?

58
00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:52,284
- Sketch what you see.
- Hmm?

59
00:04:02,861 --> 00:04:04,330
_

60
00:04:09,802 --> 00:04:12,137
Bart, where are you?!

61
00:04:12,171 --> 00:04:14,339
- Bart!
- What is it?

62
00:04:14,374 --> 00:04:17,309
Bart...!

63
00:04:17,343 --> 00:04:20,779
Bart!

64
00:04:20,813 --> 00:04:21,957
I don't know, but I can't shoot it.

65
00:04:21,981 --> 00:04:23,148
Looks like it's pregnant.

66
00:04:23,182 --> 00:04:24,583
Ah, let's wait till they're born,

67
00:04:24,617 --> 00:04:25,928
and then we'll, uh, shoot 'em all.

68
00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:30,289
Where the heck were you?

69
00:04:30,323 --> 00:04:31,890
Where's Bart?

70
00:04:31,925 --> 00:04:33,859
Okay, this is the hardest news

71
00:04:33,893 --> 00:04:35,827
in the world for a mother to hear.

72
00:04:35,862 --> 00:04:37,829
Just ease her into it.

73
00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,831
Um, you know that
sewing room you wanted,

74
00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,467
but we could never figure out where?

75
00:04:42,502 --> 00:04:43,802
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

76
00:04:43,836 --> 00:04:45,470
What? My special little guy.

77
00:04:45,505 --> 00:04:46,838
Don't worry, Lou.

78
00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:48,473
If there's one thing I've mastered,

79
00:04:48,508 --> 00:04:51,810
it's consoling distraught parents.

80
00:04:51,844 --> 00:04:53,245
Ma'am? Ma'am?

81
00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,881
Can you describe your son's skeleton?

82
00:04:55,915 --> 00:04:58,116
Ooh! You incompetent...

83
00:04:58,151 --> 00:04:59,818
Look, look, your boy's gonna be fine.

84
00:04:59,852 --> 00:05:01,586
Now we laid out a grid

85
00:05:01,621 --> 00:05:04,222
and have search teams
fanning out over the forest.

86
00:05:07,226 --> 00:05:09,227
I'm sorry, but, uh, because of the grid,

87
00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:12,597
we have to suspend the search
and bring in some ambulances.

88
00:05:16,703 --> 00:05:18,971
Where is my son?!

89
00:05:22,775 --> 00:05:25,110
Where am I?

90
00:05:29,582 --> 00:05:30,849
Hmm.

91
00:05:31,167 --> 00:05:32,552
_

92
00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:34,152
Huh.

93
00:05:39,888 --> 00:05:41,361
_

94
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,763
Welcome to Strategic Air
Command, Springfield Station.

95
00:05:44,797 --> 00:05:47,399
If you're watching this tape,
half the world is doomed.

96
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:49,368
Says you, General Dead Guy.

97
00:05:49,402 --> 00:05:51,536
Behind you is a Titan II missile,

98
00:05:51,571 --> 00:05:53,071
key to a mighty line of defense

99
00:05:53,106 --> 00:05:56,875
that will reduce our casualties
to an acceptable 200 million.

100
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,814
Dud.

101
00:06:02,849 --> 00:06:04,616
Ay, caramba!

102
00:06:04,650 --> 00:06:06,718
- Bart?
- Bart!

103
00:06:06,753 --> 00:06:09,621
- Bart!
- Bart!

104
00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:13,592
Now don't worry, I have the best
dang bloodhound in the county.

105
00:06:13,626 --> 00:06:15,794
Uh, does your boy smell like a fox?

106
00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:17,796
- No.
- We're of no use to you.

107
00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:22,834
Come on, Bart. You made your point!

108
00:06:22,869 --> 00:06:24,803
The whole town is looking for you.

109
00:06:24,837 --> 00:06:28,540
Even that scary old man from the
house with the broken windows.

110
00:06:28,574 --> 00:06:30,675
Bart broke my windows!

111
00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:33,712
It used to be a normal house!

112
00:06:33,746 --> 00:06:36,248
All right, listen up.
We have a boy-comma-missing,

113
00:06:36,282 --> 00:06:38,717
and you maggots...
you're gonna help find him.

114
00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:40,419
I thought we were ladies.

115
00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:42,854
- You're lady maggots.
- Now see here, Sergeant.

116
00:06:42,889 --> 00:06:45,791
You haven't fed us.
We're pretty close to riot mode.

117
00:06:45,825 --> 00:06:47,626
This is the boy.

118
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,094
Never seen him in my life.

119
00:06:50,519 --> 00:06:52,465
_

120
00:06:52,465 --> 00:06:54,833
We all get tattoos we regret.

121
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:57,102
I will find that boy,

122
00:06:57,136 --> 00:07:00,272
and I will toast you with his blood!

123
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:02,140
What'd I tell you
about blood toasts, Bob?

124
00:07:02,175 --> 00:07:04,882
To do them, but not brag about them.

125
00:07:04,936 --> 00:07:09,513
Ask now what
your country can do for you

126
00:07:09,779 --> 00:07:12,574
is what you can do for your country.

127
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,259
Doesn't sound like any president I know.

128
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,921
_

129
00:07:23,101 --> 00:07:26,003
Freedom!

130
00:07:26,037 --> 00:07:28,238
Oh, I can smell Springfield!

131
00:07:35,179 --> 00:07:36,079
Aw.

132
00:07:36,114 --> 00:07:38,682
Nothing good ever comes from trying.

133
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:40,217
Private Homer,

134
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,885
you fat stack of mop buckets!

135
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,121
You find something funny about this?

136
00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:47,291
How about I wipe that smile off
your fat face?

137
00:07:47,325 --> 00:07:49,059
Not my Homie!

138
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,295
Avert your eyes, ma'am.

139
00:07:51,329 --> 00:07:53,830
A phone?! Please.

140
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:55,832
Dial tone. Dial tone.

141
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:58,001
Oh, thank God!

142
00:07:59,203 --> 00:08:01,071
I'm looking for a Miss Culls.

143
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,573
First name Tess, middle initial "T."

144
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,242
Uh, just a sec. I'll check.

145
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:08,679
Uh, Tess T. Culls. Tess T. Culls!

146
00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:11,682
Uh, come on! I know you're
hangin' around here somewhere.

147
00:08:11,716 --> 00:08:14,184
Why, you little...

148
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:17,020
When I catch you, I'm gonna
stick a beer tap in ya

149
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:19,189
and pull till the foam
comes out your ears!

150
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,659
Oh! Oh!

151
00:08:24,829 --> 00:08:26,697
Oh. I give up.

152
00:08:26,731 --> 00:08:29,266
If you find Bart,
give me his lunch money.

153
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,335
Well, I'm never giving up.

154
00:08:31,369 --> 00:08:32,936
Why not?

155
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,105
Because searching forever is much easier

156
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:37,908
than me finding a new friend.

157
00:08:37,942 --> 00:08:39,776
I could be your new friend.

158
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,745
- What was that?
- Nothing.

159
00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:43,580
Shut up!

160
00:08:43,614 --> 00:08:46,016
His lucky cap!

161
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:50,921
Bart? Bart? Are you down there?

162
00:08:50,955 --> 00:08:52,589
Milhouse!

163
00:08:52,623 --> 00:08:54,958
I have never been so glad to see you.

164
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,661
Thanks for not noticing my new haircut.

165
00:08:57,695 --> 00:08:59,162
Just give me your phone.

166
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,266
I'll go get help!

167
00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,836
You can count on me!

168
00:09:08,806 --> 00:09:10,907
I lit these for our son.

169
00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:13,276
Marge, honey, he's never gonna come back

170
00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:14,911
if he thinks it's a church.

171
00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:17,414
With 78% of the search area reporting,

172
00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:20,617
Channel Six is now projecting
that Bart Simpson is dead.

173
00:09:20,651 --> 00:09:23,286
That's right. Self-proclaimed
underachiever Bart Simpson,

174
00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:25,288
dead at the age of ten.

175
00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:28,859
Now let's look at the districts
where he's deadest.

176
00:09:33,564 --> 00:09:36,466
Lisa, I have news about Bart.

177
00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,101
We already know.

178
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:43,206
Oh, Milhouse, you were his best friend.

179
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,477
What did you come here for?

180
00:09:47,512 --> 00:09:49,112
Um...

181
00:09:49,147 --> 00:09:51,014
I came to tell her he's alive,

182
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:54,084
but this feels almost as good
as hugging Harry Horse.

183
00:09:54,118 --> 00:09:57,788
I came to comfort you
in these uncertain times.

184
00:09:57,822 --> 00:09:59,823
Aw.

185
00:09:59,857 --> 00:10:01,591
It's over!

186
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,160
We're callin' off the search!

187
00:10:03,194 --> 00:10:05,128
- Did they find him?
- No, he's dead.

188
00:10:06,597 --> 00:10:08,465
No! That can't be.

189
00:10:08,499 --> 00:10:13,270
Lord, why do you kill things
that I want to kill?

190
00:10:13,304 --> 00:10:16,773
Take me now, vile rake!

191
00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:22,201
_

192
00:10:22,201 --> 00:10:24,288
_

193
00:10:24,315 --> 00:10:27,084
I think you should look
at Bart's death this way, Bob.

194
00:10:27,118 --> 00:10:30,120
You're free. You're totally free.

195
00:10:30,154 --> 00:10:32,055
Oh, this slipped off.

196
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,825
Have you ever thought
of how your life could've gone

197
00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:37,828
had you committed
to good instead of evil?

198
00:10:37,862 --> 00:10:39,262
Evil isn't a choice.

199
00:10:39,297 --> 00:10:40,831
Mm. I see.

200
00:10:40,865 --> 00:10:43,033
Why don't we try a little
psychological exercise, Bob?

201
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:45,202
If I unshackle you, will you behave?

202
00:10:45,236 --> 00:10:46,503
Try me.

203
00:10:49,173 --> 00:10:50,407
Cut out Bart's picture.

204
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:54,411
And by so doing,
cut him out of your life.

205
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,213
Don't listen to them, Bob.

206
00:10:56,247 --> 00:10:57,591
I'm alive.

207
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:07,357
Are you okay there, Bob?

208
00:11:07,391 --> 00:11:08,892
I won't believe he's dead

209
00:11:08,926 --> 00:11:12,095
until I've made soup from his bones!

210
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,900
Why do I keep giving them scissors?

211
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,108
Hello?

212
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,077
Hey, Mom, it's me. Still married?

213
00:11:27,111 --> 00:11:28,245
Oh, my God, oh, my God!

214
00:11:28,279 --> 00:11:31,047
He's alive! And sassy!

215
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,088
Um, one for the road?

216
00:11:39,123 --> 00:11:40,624
It's a long road.

217
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,094
I'll see you soon.

218
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:50,500
Hello, Bart...'s friend.

219
00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,235
Bart's alive!

220
00:11:52,270 --> 00:11:53,370
Lead me to Bart.

221
00:11:53,404 --> 00:11:55,071
You'll have to kill me first.

222
00:11:55,106 --> 00:11:58,341
But if you kill me,
you'll never find Bart.

223
00:11:58,376 --> 00:12:00,076
Hmm. A conundrum.

224
00:12:00,111 --> 00:12:01,578
How to break you?

225
00:12:01,612 --> 00:12:06,116
Tell me, do you like light operetta?

226
00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:08,251
Oh, how light?

227
00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:09,319
And a-one and a-two.

228
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:12,255
♪ I have a song to sing, O ♪

229
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:15,592
♪ Sing me your song, O ♪

230
00:12:15,626 --> 00:12:18,395
♪ 'Tis sung to the moon ♪
♪ by a lovelorn loon ♪

231
00:12:18,429 --> 00:12:20,931
♪ Who fled ♪
♪ from the mocking throng, O ♪

232
00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:23,099
♪ The song of the knell ♪
♪ of a churchyard bell... ♪

233
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:24,167
I give! I give!

234
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,269
I'll take you to Bart!

235
00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:27,305
♪ He cracked like an egg ♪

236
00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:28,772
Please stop!

237
00:12:28,806 --> 00:12:30,273
♪ And began to beg ♪

238
00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:32,175
You promised.

239
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,177
♪ As I sang this song-o ♪

240
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,346
♪ It's a song of a popinjay, ♪
♪ bravely born ♪

241
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,848
♪ Who turned up his noble nose ♪
♪ with scorn... ♪

242
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,651
Can you at least stab me in my ear?

243
00:12:41,686 --> 00:12:43,019
No.

244
00:12:44,288 --> 00:12:46,256
Okay, we'll split up and find Bart.

245
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,458
Thanks for lending this to us, Ned.

246
00:12:48,492 --> 00:12:51,094
And I'll do the three things
that help the most:

247
00:12:51,128 --> 00:12:52,796
pray, pray, pray.

248
00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:57,100
What about me?!

249
00:12:57,134 --> 00:12:59,269
I ain't ridin' in that!

250
00:12:59,303 --> 00:13:00,637
No, you're pulling it!

251
00:13:00,671 --> 00:13:03,039
Lousy, no good...

252
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:06,142
I couldn't pull you when you were eight!

253
00:13:06,177 --> 00:13:08,144
Mm-hmm.

254
00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:11,715
Hmm. Hmm.

255
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:14,150
Hmm. Angry dad, wise-ass kid.

256
00:13:14,185 --> 00:13:16,886
Now, there's a formula that never fails.

257
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,889
Okay, boys, we're gonna
sing a nice little song.

258
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,602
I want to play cowboys and Indians.

259
00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:23,260
Calvin, put down that tomahawk.

260
00:13:23,294 --> 00:13:25,128
Calvin. Calvin.

261
00:13:25,162 --> 00:13:27,063
Calvin!

262
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,099
You look funny, Dave.

263
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,734
Dave? Dave?!

264
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,536
♪ God bless America ♪

265
00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:37,240
 ♪ Give me back my tomahawk... ♪

266
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,476
That's where he is.
But if you jump down,

267
00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:41,278
you can't get back up
and you'll be caught.

268
00:13:41,312 --> 00:13:44,314
So, uh, I guess that's checkmate.

269
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:45,649
We're not playing chess.

270
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:47,851
We're playing a game called After You.

271
00:13:47,885 --> 00:13:49,252
After me?

272
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,253
If you insist.

273
00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:54,113
_

274
00:13:54,113 --> 00:13:56,880
Oh, God. I am so sick of these.

275
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,953
_

276
00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:03,755
Twelfth time's the charm!

277
00:14:03,790 --> 00:14:05,106
Sideshow Bob?!

278
00:14:05,106 --> 00:14:07,808
That's right. I found your hidey-hole!

279
00:14:07,842 --> 00:14:09,409
You found my heinie hole?

280
00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:12,179
Ah, yes.

281
00:14:12,213 --> 00:14:14,247
Always the back-of-the-class wit.

282
00:14:14,282 --> 00:14:17,784
Well, today you're going to be
a real blast.

283
00:14:17,819 --> 00:14:21,121
I don't like the way
he really hit the word "blast."

284
00:14:23,259 --> 00:14:26,927
_

285
00:14:26,961 --> 00:14:29,496
Uh, Bob, it takes two keys.

286
00:14:29,530 --> 00:14:32,299
That way, no nutcase
can do it by himself.

287
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:34,367
Well, no one ever said
launching two boys

288
00:14:34,402 --> 00:14:36,636
on a 50-year-old missile would be easy.

289
00:14:36,671 --> 00:14:40,140
Wow! For a 50-year-old missile,
it's in terrific shape!

290
00:14:40,174 --> 00:14:41,775
Shut up!

291
00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:45,312
I'm a kid who appreciates
things that last.

292
00:14:48,249 --> 00:14:50,350
Come on, boy.
Get a good whiff of his scent.

293
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,667
Did you find anything?

294
00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:10,203
Uh, we found Bart's sock drawer.

295
00:15:10,238 --> 00:15:12,272
Get back out here!

296
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:14,518
Well, you can't shoot
her. You know that's a woman.

297
00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:17,711
Oh, this is the last
time I hunt with my lawyer.

298
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,279
Son, I can't go no further.

299
00:15:19,313 --> 00:15:21,214
I want to just lie down and die.

300
00:15:21,249 --> 00:15:22,682
Dad, you can't die here.

301
00:15:22,717 --> 00:15:24,184
You have to die in a nursing home,

302
00:15:24,218 --> 00:15:26,497
where your body falls apart
as you burn through your savings

303
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:28,321
till you're a worthless vegetable.

304
00:15:28,356 --> 00:15:29,823
You know, with dignity.

305
00:15:29,857 --> 00:15:32,125
You're right, son.
We're here on a mission.

306
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,394
Now, let's pick out that Christmas tree.

307
00:15:34,428 --> 00:15:36,329
We're here to find Bart.

308
00:15:36,364 --> 00:15:39,399
Right, right. But we got
a nice eight-footer over here.

309
00:15:39,433 --> 00:15:42,636
She's got a bare patch,
but we'll turn that to the wall.

310
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:45,071
That's it. I'm not listening
to another word.

311
00:15:45,106 --> 00:15:48,308
Help! Help! Help!

312
00:15:48,342 --> 00:15:51,711
For this, you can thank my time

313
00:15:51,746 --> 00:15:54,080
at Cirque du Soleil.

314
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,715
More like Cirque du So Lame.

315
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,185
Yes, they are pretty much all the same.

316
00:15:58,219 --> 00:16:01,955
Just a little further...

317
00:16:01,989 --> 00:16:04,291
Oh, wait, wrong key.

318
00:16:07,562 --> 00:16:09,229
Five minutes to launch.

319
00:16:16,604 --> 00:16:18,572
Bob, why are you doing this?

320
00:16:18,606 --> 00:16:20,774
Well, it's perfectly obvious.

321
00:16:20,808 --> 00:16:22,275
Uh, it's...

322
00:16:22,310 --> 00:16:23,577
Give me a moment.

323
00:16:23,611 --> 00:16:25,178
It's an ICBM.

324
00:16:25,213 --> 00:16:27,113
I Commit Bart's Murder!

325
00:16:27,148 --> 00:16:29,916
That's your justification
for killing two kids?

326
00:16:29,951 --> 00:16:31,651
I... Hmm?

327
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:35,188
Dad, look! It's either
Sideshow Bob or Shaq.

328
00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:37,290
Not me. I'm going that way.

329
00:16:37,325 --> 00:16:38,959
Boy, am I lost.

330
00:16:38,993 --> 00:16:40,360
Shaq, can you help us?

331
00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:41,895
I'm not Superman.

332
00:16:41,929 --> 00:16:43,697
You have a Superman tattoo on your arm.

333
00:16:43,731 --> 00:16:45,465
How do you know so much about me?

334
00:16:45,499 --> 00:16:47,467
You're scaring me.
I don't have any money.

335
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,208
Have you ever thought
of how your life could've gone

336
00:16:55,243 --> 00:16:56,776
had you committed to good?

337
00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:58,445
It is true. I had talent.

338
00:16:58,479 --> 00:17:01,147
I was on Zoom. Just send it to Zoom!

339
00:17:01,182 --> 00:17:03,083
Box 350, Boston, Mass.

340
00:17:03,117 --> 00:17:05,452
♪ 02134 ♪

341
00:17:05,486 --> 00:17:07,954
You don't want to do this.
You're losing it, Bob.

342
00:17:07,989 --> 00:17:11,124
I don't know what's real
and what's hallucination.

343
00:17:17,102 --> 00:17:19,070
_

344
00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:22,269
Hello?

345
00:17:22,303 --> 00:17:23,543
Hello, Doctor. Bob Terwilliger.

346
00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:25,171
Did I catch you at a bad time?

347
00:17:25,206 --> 00:17:27,173
Oh, Bob, how thoughtful of you to call.

348
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:30,477
Most prisoners rarely follow up
after leaving me to die.

349
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:31,945
_

350
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:33,246
I just need to know,

351
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:34,915
should I kill these children?

352
00:17:34,949 --> 00:17:37,017
Sounds like someone's got a case
of the shoulds.

353
00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,285
If you're calling to ask,

354
00:17:38,319 --> 00:17:40,487
it means you already know the answer.

355
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:41,832
T minus two minutes.

356
00:17:41,856 --> 00:17:43,189
Clear blast area.

357
00:17:43,224 --> 00:17:45,225
Just tell me, please!

358
00:17:45,259 --> 00:17:46,893
He's not allowed to talk.

359
00:17:58,339 --> 00:18:01,174
Hmm, that sounds like
the ignition sequence

360
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:04,778
of an LGM-25C Titan II-II
ballistic missile.

361
00:18:04,812 --> 00:18:07,314
I've had just about enough
of your nonsense!

362
00:18:09,383 --> 00:18:10,784
All right, I owe you one.

363
00:18:11,886 --> 00:18:13,853
So, why'd you save us?

364
00:18:13,888 --> 00:18:17,657
Because I realized I don't want
to kill you anymore.

365
00:18:17,692 --> 00:18:20,126
Milhouse, is there a knife in my back?

366
00:18:20,161 --> 00:18:22,662
Not that I can see.

367
00:18:22,697 --> 00:18:25,098
Milhouse, is there
a "kick me" sign on my back?

368
00:18:25,132 --> 00:18:27,133
Not that I can see.

369
00:18:27,168 --> 00:18:29,269
Aw!

370
00:18:29,303 --> 00:18:32,038
I just can't get a clean shot.

371
00:18:32,073 --> 00:18:33,840
Also, you don't have a gun.

372
00:18:33,874 --> 00:18:36,009
I'm useless, all right.

373
00:18:36,013 --> 00:18:37,243
_

374
00:18:37,244 --> 00:18:39,946
What a brilliant conceptual piece.

375
00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:40,947
Who's it by?

376
00:18:40,982 --> 00:18:42,749
"Norad."

377
00:18:42,783 --> 00:18:44,484
More like Snore-ad.

378
00:18:45,786 --> 00:18:47,354
Wait, is it ticking?

379
00:18:50,036 --> 00:18:51,125
_

380
00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:52,892
Sooner or later,

381
00:18:52,927 --> 00:18:56,196
it all comes down to mopping.

382
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,834
_

383
00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:05,174
Doctor, I'm happy.

384
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,242
And when I'm released,

385
00:19:06,276 --> 00:19:08,177
after three consecutive life sentences,

386
00:19:08,211 --> 00:19:10,346
I think I'll open a flower shop.

387
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,314
Oh, that's great, Bob.

388
00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:14,350
Not all my patients are this successful.

389
00:19:14,384 --> 00:19:15,684
Well,

390
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,319
I won't be needing his file anymore.

391
00:19:17,354 --> 00:19:19,855
And if you're interested,
tomorrow's 9:00 appointment

392
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:21,434
just opened up.

393
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:22,458
And a 10:00.

394
00:19:23,853 --> 00:19:26,978
_

395
00:19:34,701 --> 00:19:36,768
Your New York Magazine, sir.

396
00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:39,471
This is The New Yorker.
Totally different.

397
00:19:39,505 --> 00:19:41,473
One is the gossip rag of the glitterati.

398
00:19:41,507 --> 00:19:44,476
The other, an asthmatic dinosaur
that hasn't been relevant

399
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:46,979
since William Shawn breathed his last!

400
00:19:47,013 --> 00:19:49,615
Can I go now?
I've got 15 other lighthouses,

401
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:50,983
and every one's a weirdo.

402
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:52,618
Not that you are.

403
00:19:52,652 --> 00:19:54,519
Fine. Leave me.
I'll just polish the bulb

404
00:19:54,554 --> 00:19:57,990
and ponder a wasted life
as I walk along the shore.

405
00:19:58,217 --> 00:19:59,625
_

406
00:19:59,626 --> 00:20:01,660
I rewrite it
every time the tide goes out.

407
00:20:01,694 --> 00:20:03,295
Listen to me!

408
00:20:03,329 --> 00:20:04,663
Life is short.

409
00:20:04,697 --> 00:20:07,466
Don't spend it
on foolish, empty revenge!

410
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,469
If you buy a mailbox, I wouldn't
have to talk to you anymore.

411
00:20:10,503 --> 00:20:11,503
Fine.

412
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:22,447
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