1
00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,912
Go and get the dogs.
2
00:01:55,212 --> 00:01:57,619
Come on, then. Mews!
3
00:02:02,636 --> 00:02:07,512
Come on, now. Open your mouth.
Open your mouth, eh?
4
00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:10,434
Learn to appreciate your food, eh?
5
00:02:10,519 --> 00:02:16,023
Compared to what you serve up
in that dirty little canteen of yours,
6
00:02:16,108 --> 00:02:19,607
this is a three-star supper.
7
00:02:20,612 --> 00:02:23,732
You must learn the rules.
8
00:02:23,824 --> 00:02:27,691
I need to eat and drink the very best
and that's expensive.
9
00:02:27,786 --> 00:02:30,573
Have you ever heard of
chicken à la reine Marie
10
00:02:30,664 --> 00:02:32,787
or oyster sauce mornay
11
00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:35,366
or frogs' legs Parisienne?
12
00:02:35,460 --> 00:02:37,500
No. Course you haven't.
13
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:40,672
Take his pants down! Take his pants down.
14
00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:51,726
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
15
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:55,345
Didn't your daddy teach you
to wipe your bottom? Eh?
16
00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:57,562
Albert! Leave him alone.
17
00:02:57,649 --> 00:03:00,484
- Come on, let's eat.
- Oh, let's eat.
18
00:03:00,569 --> 00:03:05,314
Before we eat, Georgina,
we must feed and water the animals.
19
00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:09,865
Roy! This is my wife, Georgina Spica.
20
00:03:09,953 --> 00:03:12,444
She's got a heart of gold
and a body to match.
21
00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:17,285
I am Albert Spica and I have a heart of gold
and a great deal of money to match.
22
00:03:17,377 --> 00:03:21,021
And you are Roy,
who's got absolutely nothing,
23
00:03:21,032 --> 00:03:22,892
except what you owe me.
24
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:28,720
You are humiliated in front of a lady,
you're humiliated in front of us.
25
00:03:28,805 --> 00:03:32,755
Georgina, I'll be as quick
as I possibly can.
26
00:03:32,851 --> 00:03:35,949
Goh- You, go and get me some hot water, eh?
27
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,440
And a towel and soap.
28
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,729
Now...
29
00:03:39,816 --> 00:03:42,438
Yeah.
30
00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:46,359
Now I've given you a good dinner
and you can have a nice drink.
31
00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:49,734
Now, you behave yourself in future
and pay when I ask you.
32
00:03:49,826 --> 00:03:50,606
No, no, no...
33
00:03:50,617 --> 00:03:52,956
Or next time I'll make you eat your own shit
34
00:03:53,038 --> 00:03:56,158
after forcing it through
your dick like toothpaste.
35
00:03:56,250 --> 00:04:01,244
No, put that away, Spangler.
Cor blimey, there's a lady present.
36
00:04:01,338 --> 00:04:05,122
She doesn't want to see
your shrivelled contributions.
37
00:04:05,217 --> 00:04:07,174
Ah.
38
00:04:07,261 --> 00:04:10,427
That's it. Thank you very much.
Nice, clean...
39
00:04:10,514 --> 00:04:12,969
Give me that towel!
40
00:04:13,058 --> 00:04:15,300
Give me that. Yeah.
41
00:04:15,394 --> 00:04:20,898
I never liked that Chinese food
but looking at you now, I like it even less.
42
00:04:20,983 --> 00:04:23,390
Righto, boys!
43
00:04:23,485 --> 00:04:26,901
We must surprise Richard on our anniversary.
44
00:04:26,989 --> 00:04:29,147
Bring the letters.
45
00:04:30,158 --> 00:04:34,867
Georgie, you got ash on your tits.
If you're gonna wear black, don't smoke.
46
00:04:34,955 --> 00:04:38,454
- You look like a tart in black.
- It's blue.
47
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:42,207
It's black, and don't smoke.
It's sloppy in a woman.
48
00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:44,537
No one who's going to eat smokes.
49
00:04:44,631 --> 00:04:48,759
It ruins your taste buds, burns your tongue
and makes your pee stink.
50
00:04:48,844 --> 00:04:51,251
- Rubbish.
- It's not bloody rubbish.
51
00:04:51,346 --> 00:04:54,715
I've smelt the loo
after you've been piddling in there.
52
00:04:54,808 --> 00:04:57,762
When are you gonna learn, smartarse?
53
00:05:00,397 --> 00:05:07,527
( Boy soprano in background )
♪ Have mercy upon me.
54
00:05:07,613 --> 00:05:11,444
Come on, hurry up, boys.
55
00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:14,819
♪...upon me .
56
00:05:16,455 --> 00:05:21,330
Righto, lads, get them numbers up there -
Spica & Boarst.
57
00:05:24,838 --> 00:05:31,422
♪ Blot out my transgressions
58
00:05:32,930 --> 00:05:39,597
♪ Purge me with hyssop
59
00:05:41,647 --> 00:05:46,309
♪ And I shall be clean
60
00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:51,694
♪ Wash me
61
00:05:51,782 --> 00:05:55,364
♪ Wash me
62
00:05:55,452 --> 00:06:02,119
♪ And I shall be whiter than snow.
63
00:06:04,503 --> 00:06:06,542
Where's Richard?
64
00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:10,046
- He's plucking.
- He's plucking, eh? Richard!
65
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:13,051
Where are you?
Stop that plucking. Where are you?
66
00:06:13,136 --> 00:06:16,007
Now what's that? A-S-P...
67
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:20,676
That's nonsense.
Spell it right, for Christ's sake.
68
00:06:20,769 --> 00:06:24,434
Bloody hell. Richard! Rich... Ah!
69
00:06:24,523 --> 00:06:27,228
There you are, Richard. Now...
70
00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:30,520
Leave that out and come and see
what I've got you, eh?
71
00:06:30,612 --> 00:06:34,230
I've brought you a present.
This is our anniversary.
72
00:06:34,324 --> 00:06:37,942
Three months of mutual understanding,
eh, Richard?
73
00:06:38,036 --> 00:06:43,541
Three months since I first invited you
to be my favourite restaurateur.
74
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:47,160
Mr Spica, this is a duck.
75
00:06:47,254 --> 00:06:49,709
Ducks are born with the feathers on
76
00:06:49,798 --> 00:06:52,419
but it's your dinner, Mr Spica.
77
00:06:52,509 --> 00:06:57,752
If you want the feathers to remain,
we could try the dish,
78
00:06:57,848 --> 00:07:01,892
I suppose,
by leaving the feathers as they are.
79
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:04,135
Canard en ses plumes torche.
80
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,103
Mitchel, you mule.
81
00:07:08,191 --> 00:07:10,682
'Ere, Richard, come and see, come on.
82
00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:13,981
Please, I beg you. Ha! Come on.
83
00:07:16,199 --> 00:07:20,493
Georgina, how many times have I told you?
No smoking in the kitchen.
84
00:07:20,579 --> 00:07:25,455
Mitchel, get your arse down here quick.
Come on.
85
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:30,963
Now, Richard, this is your...
well, our new sign.
86
00:07:31,048 --> 00:07:33,336
Da-da-da-da-da-da!
87
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:36,094
Wallop!
88
00:07:42,434 --> 00:07:44,640
Oh, God!
89
00:07:45,979 --> 00:07:48,055
Richard.
90
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:52,566
- It's dark in the restaurant.
- Yes, Phillipe.
91
00:07:52,653 --> 00:07:57,113
Thanks to Mr Spica's generosity,
it is dark everywhere.
92
00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:03,283
No power, no light.
93
00:08:04,414 --> 00:08:07,298
Were you thinking of
a cold buffet tonight?
94
00:08:07,309 --> 00:08:09,667
But I don't want a cold buffet.
95
00:08:09,753 --> 00:08:15,708
- Paté d'alouettes with a chicory sauce.
- Paté d'alouettes with a chicory sauce.
96
00:08:16,843 --> 00:08:20,711
- Terrine de caneton.
- Terrine de canton.
97
00:08:20,806 --> 00:08:26,725
- Cold turkey with lemon and basilica.
- Cold turkey with the lemon and basilica.
98
00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,851
Anchovies in garlic vinegar.
99
00:08:28,939 --> 00:08:32,937
It doesn't have to be cold,
you've got gas, for God's sake!
100
00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:39,236
Got an arse on her
like two greased watermelons in a sack.
101
00:08:39,324 --> 00:08:42,527
Cold chicken, paté d'alouettes,
102
00:08:42,619 --> 00:08:46,403
salade de langoustine,
gâteau de carottes et Gruyére...
103
00:08:46,498 --> 00:08:51,575
You. You put them electrics right, Mitchel.
Put them electrics right or...
104
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:53,709
You don't eat.
105
00:08:53,797 --> 00:08:55,837
You don't eat.
106
00:08:58,719 --> 00:09:01,388
I told you not to smoke.
107
00:09:02,848 --> 00:09:05,968
I should stand still,
Mr Spica. Or who knows?
108
00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:09,559
You might spoil something,
put your foot in something.
109
00:09:09,646 --> 00:09:14,604
So, a hot meal for tonight.
Something special, please. How about some...
110
00:09:14,693 --> 00:09:18,904
some, er, Les oh d'oeuvres,
er, gâteau au poivres,
111
00:09:18,989 --> 00:09:24,030
er, terrine et fillet lamb et poison Au er,
poi, poi...
112
00:09:24,119 --> 00:09:27,654
- It's "Poisson".
- What did you say, Georgie?
113
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:30,120
What did you say? What did you say?
114
00:09:31,168 --> 00:09:33,207
Poisson.
115
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:43,758
- Well, Mr Spica, I hope you are hungry.
- Always. Get in there, boys.
116
00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:52,684
Go on, Georgie, go in there,
raise your skirts and warm my seat.
117
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,693
Eh, what do you think then, eh?
What do you...?
118
00:10:05,494 --> 00:10:09,278
If you spent as much money
on the meal, Mr Spica,
119
00:10:09,373 --> 00:10:12,290
as you waste on the decor,
120
00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:17,002
your taste in good food must surely improve.
121
00:10:19,716 --> 00:10:24,259
You'll cheek me once too often, Boarst.
You rely on me, don't forget.
122
00:10:24,346 --> 00:10:28,509
Without me, you, a foreigner,
you wouldn't last long around here.
123
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,091
Look out there, see what I've brought you.
124
00:10:31,186 --> 00:10:34,970
Two vans full of good stuff,
just right for your kitchen.
125
00:10:35,065 --> 00:10:38,434
- I would not touch it.
- Why on earth not?
126
00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:42,821
I insist on buying my own food, Mr Spica.
127
00:10:42,906 --> 00:10:46,073
Then I can be sure of its quality.
128
00:10:46,159 --> 00:10:49,825
I represent quality round here,
my name is known for it.
129
00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:53,531
I offer quality and protection.
130
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:58,252
Protection against what,
I wonder, Mr Spica? And whom?
131
00:10:58,338 --> 00:11:02,965
Protection, Boarst,
against the rash temper of my men.
132
00:11:04,219 --> 00:11:08,133
Against a sudden arrival of food poisoning.
133
00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:13,226
Against rats.
Against the public health inspector.
134
00:11:13,312 --> 00:11:17,855
If you are hungry tonight,
you are going to have to wait.
135
00:11:17,941 --> 00:11:22,069
Do up the third button
of your expensive jacket, Mr Spica.
136
00:11:22,946 --> 00:11:29,031
You'll feel less empty inside, Mr Spica.
137
00:11:29,119 --> 00:11:31,444
You can't make me wait.
138
00:11:31,538 --> 00:11:35,951
(Boy soprano)
♪ Deliver me
139
00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:43,670
♪From blood-guiltiness
140
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:48,385
♪O God
141
00:11:48,472 --> 00:11:53,762
♪My tongue shall sing aloud
142
00:11:53,852 --> 00:11:57,019
♪Of Thy righteousness
143
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:05,403
♪Have mercy upon me
144
00:12:07,574 --> 00:12:14,455
♪Blot out my transgressions
145
00:12:15,791 --> 00:12:26,087
♪O Lord, open Thou my lips
146
00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:31,680
♪And my mouth
147
00:12:31,765 --> 00:12:40,473
♪Shall show forth Thy praise
148
00:12:41,483 --> 00:12:44,270
♪And my mouth
149
00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:52,736
♪Shall show forth Thy praise
150
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,158
♪And my mouth
151
00:12:56,248 --> 00:13:04,541
♪Shall show forth Thy praise
152
00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:07,884
♪And my mouth
153
00:13:07,968 --> 00:13:15,928
♪Shall show forth Thy praise .
154
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:48,256
No, you don't eat it like that!
Let me show you.
155
00:13:48,342 --> 00:13:52,589
Oh. Imagine you are sucking
the little fingers of a lady or...
156
00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:58,303
No, you'd never get that close to a lady.
Who'd wanna get that close to you?
157
00:13:58,393 --> 00:14:02,771
- I wouldn't be interested in her fingers.
- I'd expect you to say that.
158
00:14:02,856 --> 00:14:07,068
You'd just whip it in, whip it out
and wipe it on your jacket.
159
00:14:07,152 --> 00:14:10,106
Look at your jacket, it's like a pig field.
160
00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:13,363
And your nails could do with a clean.
Show me.
161
00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:19,154
Gawd. Why can't I have some bloody quality
in my associates?
162
00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:23,660
From now on, anyone not properly dressed
for dinner will pay for it.
163
00:14:23,752 --> 00:14:27,584
I'll write lessons down for you.
Georgina can type them out.
164
00:14:28,340 --> 00:14:33,547
"Notes For Gourmets". That's French
for a good eater, isn't it, Boarst? (Belches)
165
00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:37,848
- Gourmets don't belch.
- On the contrary, on the contrary. They do.
166
00:14:37,933 --> 00:14:40,969
It shows that you are enjoying a meal.
167
00:14:41,061 --> 00:14:45,189
Not with your fingers, Spangler!
That's all you understand -
168
00:14:45,274 --> 00:14:48,856
things you eat with your hands
whilst walking down the street.
169
00:14:48,944 --> 00:14:52,028
You told Mews to eat the
celery with his fingers.
170
00:14:52,114 --> 00:14:56,443
That's different, you dope.
And it's asparagus, not celery.
171
00:14:56,535 --> 00:15:00,399
What's the point of sinking
thousands into a restaurant
172
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:02,548
if you refuse to eat properly?
173
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:06,456
- Tell him, Georgina.
- Tell him what?
174
00:15:06,545 --> 00:15:11,290
Just copy Georgina. She knows how to do it.
Cory, get Richard in here.
175
00:15:11,383 --> 00:15:16,009
I want my sign fixed up
and put on that wall over the kitchen door.
176
00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:20,639
If Richard was more interested in slogans,
he'd make more money, eh?
177
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,885
- This place is too dark.
- (Belches)
178
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:27,811
Could do with a respray.
Gold, it needs more gold.
179
00:15:27,899 --> 00:15:30,391
How about gold and blue?
180
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:35,613
What do you think, Henry?
10,000 should do it - two months' takings.
181
00:15:35,699 --> 00:15:39,531
You should get in there.
Boarst's prices are all over the place.
182
00:15:40,412 --> 00:15:44,873
His head's in the clouds.
Good cook. Brilliant cook!
183
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:49,751
Except he puts mushrooms on everything.
Henry, put that cigarette out.
184
00:15:49,838 --> 00:15:53,041
Do you mind if I eat whilst you smoke?
185
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:57,546
Gordon choked on a cigarette whilst eating -
burnt his epiglottis.
186
00:15:57,638 --> 00:16:01,635
Mitchel, you've got one.
And you don't keep it in your trousers.
187
00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:08,648
You don't put orange rind on the edge
of your plate, it goes there, you dolt!
188
00:16:08,732 --> 00:16:14,319
What you've got to realise is that
a clever cook puts unlikely things together
189
00:16:14,404 --> 00:16:18,023
like duck and orange,
like pineapple and ham.
190
00:16:18,116 --> 00:16:20,156
It's called artistry.
191
00:16:20,244 --> 00:16:24,490
I'm an artist, the way I combine
my business and my pleasure.
192
00:16:24,581 --> 00:16:26,989
Money's my business, eating's my pleasure.
193
00:16:27,084 --> 00:16:31,413
And Georgie's my pleasure too,
though in a more private kind of way
194
00:16:31,505 --> 00:16:35,337
than stuffing the mouth
and feeding the sewers.
195
00:16:35,425 --> 00:16:37,548
Though the pleasures are related,
196
00:16:37,636 --> 00:16:43,306
because the naughty bits and the dirty bits
are so close together
197
00:16:44,184 --> 00:16:48,811
that it just goes to show
how eating and sex are related.
198
00:16:48,897 --> 00:16:52,942
Georgie's naughty bits
are nicely related, aren't they?
199
00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:56,146
Especially when she's
paying me attention. Georgie.
200
00:16:56,238 --> 00:16:57,862
(Gasps)
201
00:16:57,948 --> 00:17:01,952
(Albert) Get Phillipe! In future, I want
my napkins folded at home, Georgina.
202
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:03,297
Get Adele to teach you.
203
00:17:04,997 --> 00:17:07,404
Spangler, get up and get Phillipe.
204
00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:11,497
Bring Richard here,
I've got to make him a proposition.
205
00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:15,371
Get Adele to get that water
with the angostura bitters in it
206
00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:19,878
and some lemon in the water
and a bowl of ice water for me fingers...
207
00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:24,715
Henry! Give me those glasses off that table.
And the flowers.
208
00:17:25,726 --> 00:17:28,762
This should look
the most important table here.
209
00:17:28,854 --> 00:17:32,305
I like a load of glasses around,
it highers the tone.
210
00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:48,288
What's that?
211
00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:51,670
For Madame Spica,
compliments of the house.
212
00:17:51,752 --> 00:17:54,836
She's no Madame. Why haven't I got one?
213
00:17:54,922 --> 00:17:59,002
- I doubt, Mr Spica, if you'll like it.
- Try me.
214
00:18:00,218 --> 00:18:04,430
We have grown accustomed
to you being a conservative eater.
215
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:07,930
That's not true.
I'm as adventurous as the next.
216
00:18:08,018 --> 00:18:11,138
Your wife has an excellent palate, Mr Spica.
217
00:18:11,229 --> 00:18:14,266
It is always a pleasure for us to serve her.
218
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:02,409
(Albert)
I want one of those hot, damp towels,
219
00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:04,550
Richard, served
to me with tongs.
220
00:20:05,636 --> 00:20:10,713
Adele is no good with cash and figures.
She's just decorative, all lips and tits.
221
00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:13,808
- We'll replace her.
- (Mitchel) Can I do the replacing?
222
00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:15,688
Stuff your mouth, Mitchel.
223
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:19,907
Every time you open it,
you just show how vulgar you can be.
224
00:20:54,518 --> 00:20:57,056
(Albert) Georgina! Welcome back.
225
00:20:57,145 --> 00:21:00,894
Did you wipe the seat
before you parked your bum? (Laughs)
226
00:21:00,983 --> 00:21:03,882
You never know what you
can catch these days.
227
00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:06,034
Every toilet seat is a minefield.
228
00:21:06,113 --> 00:21:10,129
That's for you.
Richard thought I might like to taste it,
229
00:21:10,140 --> 00:21:12,493
personal compliments of the chef.
230
00:21:12,578 --> 00:21:15,993
Eat it.
I didn't fancy it, it smelt off.
231
00:21:16,915 --> 00:21:20,000
Iris got a canker on her bum
from sitting on a loo seat.
232
00:21:20,085 --> 00:21:25,839
The mechanic across the road poured
battery acid down the WC to clear it.
233
00:21:27,342 --> 00:21:31,292
Some of it splashed on the seat.
Iris ran screaming into the street,
234
00:21:31,388 --> 00:21:33,464
her backside hissing.
235
00:21:33,557 --> 00:21:35,514
She hasn't been the same since.
236
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:40,677
She strips the same
but never with her back to the audience.
237
00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:45,102
She had to change her act.
Now it's more full-frontal.
238
00:21:45,193 --> 00:21:48,397
- Where are you going?
- I left my lighter in the toilet.
239
00:21:48,488 --> 00:21:51,240
- Gawd's sake. You don't need it.
- I need it.
240
00:21:51,325 --> 00:21:56,567
Richard, I'm going to ban smoking in here.
Tomorrow, the signs are going up.
241
00:21:56,663 --> 00:22:00,032
You want to thicken your French accent
up a bit, mate,
242
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:02,616
like you've just come over from Paris.
243
00:22:02,711 --> 00:22:07,337
Give them a bit of that ooh-la-la stuff.
Bit more of that "parlez-vous français?"
244
00:22:07,424 --> 00:22:10,460
Then you would not understand me, Mr Spica.
245
00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:14,799
I don't know. I've always been able
to understand French letters.
246
00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:16,929
(Laughter)
247
00:23:30,716 --> 00:23:33,123
(Door opens)
248
00:23:40,642 --> 00:23:42,682
(Water running)
249
00:24:50,379 --> 00:24:52,122
(Door opens)
250
00:24:52,214 --> 00:24:54,123
Georgina!
251
00:24:54,216 --> 00:24:56,789
What the hell are you doing in here?
252
00:24:58,011 --> 00:25:00,681
Georgina?
253
00:25:00,764 --> 00:25:04,976
You've been in here for ages.
What are you doing, having a baby?
254
00:25:05,060 --> 00:25:07,432
I'm, er, I'm just...
255
00:25:08,105 --> 00:25:12,185
- I'm just having a quiet smoke.
- Smoke?
256
00:25:14,152 --> 00:25:17,687
You know how you hate
me smoking at the table.
257
00:25:17,781 --> 00:25:20,272
Gawd's sake, Georgina.
258
00:25:20,367 --> 00:25:23,321
Why tell me lies about a lost lighter?
259
00:25:23,412 --> 00:25:28,287
(Georgina) I didn't, I left it here
on the ledge in front of the mirror.
260
00:25:30,377 --> 00:25:32,666
I'll be out in a few moments.
261
00:25:32,754 --> 00:25:37,500
Don't hang around the ladies,
you'll embarrass the customers.
262
00:25:37,593 --> 00:25:39,632
Show me the lighter.
263
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,258
(Georgina) There.
264
00:25:44,516 --> 00:25:46,722
Do you want a cigarette as well?
265
00:25:46,810 --> 00:25:49,218
Don't be so bloody stupid.
266
00:25:49,313 --> 00:25:53,560
What are you doing in there,
Georgina, eh? (Laughs)
267
00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:55,773
You playing with yourself?
268
00:25:55,861 --> 00:26:00,570
That's not allowed, that's my property.
You're not allowed to fiddle with it.
269
00:26:00,657 --> 00:26:01,980
Shut up, Albert.
270
00:26:01,991 --> 00:26:05,958
Let me in, I'll show you
how to wipe yourself.
271
00:26:07,039 --> 00:26:09,494
Go away. I'll be out in a minute.
272
00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:12,537
Well, don't be long.
273
00:26:12,628 --> 00:26:16,791
I'll order you some gâteau aux poivres.
274
00:26:17,591 --> 00:26:19,963
Some profiteroles.
275
00:26:24,056 --> 00:26:26,179
And wash your hands.
276
00:26:27,267 --> 00:26:30,268
You don't know the women who use this place.
277
00:26:32,564 --> 00:26:35,233
- (Door closes)
- (Sighs)
278
00:27:32,207 --> 00:27:34,698
(Toilet flushes)
279
00:27:34,793 --> 00:27:36,833
(Sighs quietly)
280
00:27:39,506 --> 00:27:41,629
You took your time.
281
00:27:42,593 --> 00:27:45,262
I thought you'd like me to wait for you.
282
00:27:46,972 --> 00:27:49,214
You smell nice and sweaty.
283
00:27:49,308 --> 00:27:51,846
Wash your hands, I'll give you a kiss.
284
00:27:58,442 --> 00:28:00,481
(Water running)
285
00:28:06,909 --> 00:28:11,286
You know what they say about men
who hang around ladies' lavatories?
286
00:28:14,499 --> 00:28:18,711
What do they say about men
who hang around ladies' lavatories?
287
00:28:18,795 --> 00:28:21,954
They're asking to have
their illusions shattered.
288
00:28:21,965 --> 00:28:23,017
Yeah.
289
00:28:23,091 --> 00:28:26,377
You hold no illusions for me, Georgie, eh?
290
00:28:26,470 --> 00:28:28,842
No stone's been left unturned.
291
00:28:28,931 --> 00:28:32,430
Look, just go order my profiteroles,
will you?
292
00:28:32,517 --> 00:28:34,759
Come on.
293
00:28:37,064 --> 00:28:39,103
Come on.
294
00:29:13,183 --> 00:29:15,223
(Laughter)
295
00:29:22,776 --> 00:29:26,192
I think these Ethiopians like starving.
296
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:31,156
It keeps them slim and graceful,
with those big heads and dreamy eyes.
297
00:29:31,167 --> 00:29:32,791
You know those kids.
298
00:29:32,869 --> 00:29:34,144
(Georgina) You're sick.
299
00:29:34,155 --> 00:29:37,423
(Albert) I might well be
if you're being so priggish.
300
00:29:37,499 --> 00:29:41,213
(Woman) What do you know,
Georgina, about the starving?
301
00:29:41,224 --> 00:29:43,345
You can have anything you want.
302
00:29:43,422 --> 00:29:45,245
Where you been? You're late.
303
00:29:45,256 --> 00:29:48,770
It's Friday night.
There's a lot of money about.
304
00:29:50,095 --> 00:29:53,474
A decent man needs gloves
to touch this stuff.
305
00:29:53,485 --> 00:29:54,850
Let's have a look.
306
00:29:54,933 --> 00:29:57,851
That's just what this restaurant needs.
307
00:29:57,936 --> 00:30:00,641
- Start laying them out.
- (Belches)
308
00:30:00,731 --> 00:30:04,182
What's the matter, Mitchel?
Don't you like mussels?
309
00:30:04,276 --> 00:30:07,645
You got to learn to like them
if you're going to eat with me.
310
00:30:07,738 --> 00:30:10,311
Don't you dare throw up in here!
311
00:30:10,407 --> 00:30:13,906
Or I'll get Spangler to stuff 'em
back down your throat.
312
00:30:13,994 --> 00:30:16,376
(Cory)
From the Malay restaurant.
313
00:30:16,387 --> 00:30:19,959
The food poisoning scared them,
they're paying up.
314
00:30:20,042 --> 00:30:23,126
I'm sure they don't need
our assistance with that.
315
00:30:23,211 --> 00:30:26,627
That stuff they eat,
they'd poison themselves with it.
316
00:30:26,715 --> 00:30:31,092
Some of them Indians are well known
for drinking their own pee.
317
00:30:31,178 --> 00:30:34,926
The same water would go round and round.
318
00:30:35,015 --> 00:30:39,843
Of course, you're bound to lose some
through evaporation.
319
00:30:39,937 --> 00:30:44,314
Then you'd have to top it up.
Whose pee would you drink first?
320
00:30:44,399 --> 00:30:47,603
- Erm...
- Me, I'd have a ready supply, wouldn't I?
321
00:30:47,694 --> 00:30:51,359
Georgie and I have
our little sessions when we...
322
00:30:51,448 --> 00:30:53,737
Good God, what have you got there?
323
00:30:53,825 --> 00:30:58,369
Even you are getting compliments
from the chef, are you?
324
00:30:58,455 --> 00:31:02,073
Being a guinea pig
for a Boarst experiment, are we?
325
00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:08,704
Good God, looks like, er,
food for constipated French rabbits.
326
00:31:08,799 --> 00:31:13,591
Albert, why don't you order me some Chianti?
You know I like Chianti.
327
00:31:13,679 --> 00:31:16,300
In the bottle with the wrapping around it.
328
00:31:16,390 --> 00:31:19,593
Then I can take it home
and hang it on the wall.
329
00:31:19,685 --> 00:31:22,683
Grace, haven't you got
enough of them already?
330
00:31:22,694 --> 00:31:23,692
No.
331
00:31:23,772 --> 00:31:25,895
Where the hell are you going?
332
00:31:25,983 --> 00:31:29,601
- To the toilet.
- You haven't had anything to drink yet.
333
00:31:29,695 --> 00:31:33,823
She's got a bladder like a leaky marrow.
Don't be long!
334
00:31:33,907 --> 00:31:37,074
- You've upset her.
- Rubbish.
335
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:43,365
Don't be long! You're so talkative tonight,
we couldn't stand the silence without you.
336
00:31:44,710 --> 00:31:46,749
Wash your hands!
337
00:32:05,981 --> 00:32:08,602
- Questo, questo.
- Cazzo.
338
00:32:08,692 --> 00:32:11,563
Dove hai imparato a cucinare?
É velenoso.
339
00:32:11,653 --> 00:32:13,895
Vieni qua.
340
00:34:29,917 --> 00:34:31,956
That's off!
341
00:34:56,026 --> 00:34:58,065
Uh.
342
00:34:58,153 --> 00:35:02,103
- This custard's salty.
- It is sauce Hollandaise.
343
00:35:02,199 --> 00:35:04,238
Can I help you, Mr Spica?
344
00:35:04,326 --> 00:35:07,861
I've come about
those special complimentary dishes.
345
00:35:07,955 --> 00:35:11,703
In future, all the guests at my table
shall receive them.
346
00:35:11,792 --> 00:35:14,330
Why is my fish taking so long?
347
00:35:14,419 --> 00:35:17,753
You can carry it in yourself,
if you like, Mr Spica.
348
00:35:19,299 --> 00:35:22,834
- What are you looking for?
- Nothing. You bring it.
349
00:35:22,928 --> 00:35:26,268
(Richard)
You would not be looking for your wife?
350
00:35:26,279 --> 00:35:27,814
No, of course not.
351
00:35:27,891 --> 00:35:30,975
Mr Spica, I have something to show you.
352
00:35:44,074 --> 00:35:45,355
What is this?
353
00:35:45,366 --> 00:35:49,209
New cutlery.
Give your restaurant some style.
354
00:35:49,288 --> 00:35:53,866
I brought in 300 sets.
My men are just re-laying the tables.
355
00:35:56,670 --> 00:35:59,042
Not very good quality, Mr Spica.
356
00:36:00,132 --> 00:36:04,592
You could use them at home, Mr Spica.
357
00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:07,430
All 300 of them.
358
00:36:44,176 --> 00:36:46,797
Where have you been? Wiping your bum?
359
00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:50,338
Did you use your left hand
like I showed you?
360
00:36:50,432 --> 00:36:54,264
Where'd you get this stuff, Mews?
It's rubbish, falling apart.
361
00:36:54,353 --> 00:36:59,180
Take 'em back.
Get a 150% refund. God.
362
00:37:00,692 --> 00:37:05,319
What are you eating, Georgie? Not much.
363
00:37:05,405 --> 00:37:10,151
Ha! I see others here
get the same special attentions.
364
00:37:10,244 --> 00:37:15,404
What is it? Looks like
some sort of... watery salade.
365
00:37:15,499 --> 00:37:17,788
That's not up to much.
366
00:37:17,876 --> 00:37:20,996
Expensive, no doubt, but not fattening.
367
00:37:21,088 --> 00:37:24,504
You've got to keep your strength up,
you're looking peaky.
368
00:37:24,591 --> 00:37:27,711
Kidneys, liver, iron, that's what you need.
369
00:37:27,803 --> 00:37:33,971
Do you know a cow drinks
its own weight in water twice a week?
370
00:37:34,059 --> 00:37:38,768
For milk, you see,
because a cow's got great big tits.
371
00:37:38,855 --> 00:37:41,228
Just like you, eh, Georgie?
372
00:37:44,736 --> 00:37:48,781
You gentlemen will have to take it
for granted because
373
00:37:48,865 --> 00:37:52,400
for some reason best known to herself,
374
00:37:52,494 --> 00:37:54,652
she's left her bra off.
375
00:37:57,207 --> 00:37:59,876
Have you, Cory, ever tasted human milk?
376
00:38:00,794 --> 00:38:04,543
I mean recently.
All them years ago don't count.
377
00:38:04,631 --> 00:38:09,377
You couldn't really appreciate
what you were enjoying then, could you?
378
00:38:09,469 --> 00:38:15,424
I bet human milk's a great delicacy
in some countries. It ought to be here.
379
00:38:16,351 --> 00:38:20,052
Do you know, Cory, who could supply us
with some human milk?
380
00:38:20,147 --> 00:38:24,441
(Spangler)
Warm, straight from the receptacle, so to speak?
381
00:38:24,526 --> 00:38:28,606
Don't joke! It's a precious commodity,
not a joking matter!
382
00:38:28,697 --> 00:38:31,449
Georgie wouldn't joke about it, would you?
383
00:38:31,533 --> 00:38:33,609
Would you, Georgie?
384
00:38:33,702 --> 00:38:39,206
Ah. You're a credit to women. You could
show these young women a thing or two.
385
00:38:39,291 --> 00:38:43,205
You could teach these young men
a thing or two. Take Mitchel.
386
00:38:43,295 --> 00:38:46,995
On second thoughts, don't,
cos he's a crude little bugger.
387
00:38:47,090 --> 00:38:50,874
- Then how come you haven't got any kids?
- Kids?
388
00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:56,381
Who needs kids? Who wants kids?
389
00:38:57,976 --> 00:39:00,514
I want kids.
390
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,560
We'll have kids one day, won't we, eh?
391
00:39:08,362 --> 00:39:11,731
When you're bloody old and grey, most like!
392
00:39:11,823 --> 00:39:15,489
Yeah. Your trouble is
you don't eat properly.
393
00:39:16,411 --> 00:39:20,575
You should drink more water
and eat more kidneys
394
00:39:20,666 --> 00:39:24,710
and then you might bloody well have
a bloody baby someday.
395
00:39:26,255 --> 00:39:29,006
Georgie doesn't like babies, do you?
396
00:39:29,091 --> 00:39:34,298
You know, sometimes, Georgie,
I think you behave like a bloke.
397
00:39:34,388 --> 00:39:36,427
What days are those, then, Albert?
398
00:39:36,515 --> 00:39:38,554
- What's it like?
- You what?
399
00:39:38,642 --> 00:39:43,387
Get away from this table,
you mucky little wimp!
400
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:48,522
Go and eat your vegetable soup
in the kitchen, you dirty little pervert!
401
00:39:48,610 --> 00:39:51,730
Go on, get on with your eating, eh?
402
00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:55,025
It's only Mitchel making a fool of himself.
403
00:39:55,117 --> 00:39:58,118
Now, stand in the corner.
Cory, make him a paper hat.
404
00:39:58,203 --> 00:40:01,370
Stand in the corner
like a naughty little boy.
405
00:40:01,456 --> 00:40:04,790
Stand there.
Take your knife and fork with you.
406
00:40:04,876 --> 00:40:07,664
- Don't be stupid.
- Do you want to join him?
407
00:40:07,754 --> 00:40:12,613
Leave him alone. He's only
copying you like he always does.
408
00:40:12,624 --> 00:40:14,728
You behave, he'll behave.
409
00:40:14,803 --> 00:40:17,674
- I'm leaving.
- Yes, we are leaving.
410
00:40:17,764 --> 00:40:22,759
Gracie, here. Pay the bill and take a taxi.
411
00:40:23,729 --> 00:40:27,940
Yeah. Georgie and I
might go for a little drive.
412
00:40:29,776 --> 00:40:32,896
It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow.
413
00:40:32,988 --> 00:40:35,657
Might drive down to the sea,
414
00:40:35,741 --> 00:40:38,658
have some fun under the pier
like we used to.
415
00:40:49,129 --> 00:40:52,000
Oops. I am sorry.
416
00:40:52,090 --> 00:40:55,958
Still, this isn't a library,
it's a restaurant.
417
00:40:56,053 --> 00:40:58,092
They got people for that.
418
00:41:01,558 --> 00:41:03,598
Richard.
419
00:41:03,685 --> 00:41:08,015
This needs cooking.
Grill it with some mashed peas.
420
00:41:14,029 --> 00:41:16,271
(Mutters in French)
421
00:41:18,659 --> 00:41:23,036
(Boy soprano)
♪ Wash me thoroughly
422
00:41:23,121 --> 00:41:27,036
♪From my iniquity
423
00:41:27,125 --> 00:41:32,546
♪And cleanse me...
424
00:41:32,631 --> 00:41:35,667
What's a young lad like you doing
washing dishes?
425
00:41:35,759 --> 00:41:38,926
That's woman's work,
ain't you got what it takes? Hey!
426
00:41:39,012 --> 00:41:43,555
My God, armour plating.
You protect yourself, son, you need it.
427
00:41:43,642 --> 00:41:46,809
Innocence. That's what I had
before I met Georgie.
428
00:41:46,895 --> 00:41:50,311
- That's just what they want.
- Albert. Come on, you're drunk.
429
00:41:50,399 --> 00:41:52,557
- Come on!
- Shall I sing for you?
430
00:41:52,651 --> 00:41:55,687
- What?
- Albert, come on, he's only a child.
431
00:41:55,779 --> 00:41:59,444
Sing for me, yes. Yes, you can sing for me.
432
00:41:59,533 --> 00:42:01,988
Get up there. You sing, yeah.
433
00:42:02,077 --> 00:42:06,822
I was a good singer when I was a little boy,
wasn't I, Georgie?
434
00:42:06,915 --> 00:42:09,952
Come on, now. You sing to me. Eh?
435
00:42:10,919 --> 00:42:13,078
Come on. Sing, damn you!
436
00:42:14,798 --> 00:42:19,010
♪Wash me thoroughly
437
00:42:19,094 --> 00:42:22,795
- ♪From my iniquity
- (Albert laughs)
438
00:42:22,889 --> 00:42:27,101
- ♪And cleanse...
- You can't keep it up, can you? No.
439
00:42:27,185 --> 00:42:29,511
I was a choirboy once.
440
00:42:29,605 --> 00:42:32,689
Yes. Women like choirboys.
441
00:42:32,774 --> 00:42:36,439
I was almost a choirboy when I met Georgie.
442
00:42:36,528 --> 00:42:39,315
But you spoilt all that, didn't you?
443
00:42:39,406 --> 00:42:43,867
Georgie was a very good education,
she could teach a young man anything.
444
00:42:43,952 --> 00:42:48,365
Come on, Georgie, show the young boy
what you showed me.
445
00:42:48,457 --> 00:42:51,244
- Albert.
- Go on, show the little boy...
446
00:42:51,335 --> 00:42:54,585
- Albert!
- You do what I tell you, will you?
447
00:42:55,672 --> 00:42:59,172
You come out in that car park with me,
both of you. Come on.
448
00:42:59,259 --> 00:43:02,344
Out in the car park. Come on.
449
00:43:06,725 --> 00:43:08,742
I'll give you the best education,
450
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:11,480
show you what a great
teacher Georgie can be.
451
00:43:11,563 --> 00:43:13,722
- (Boy whimpering)
- Don't touch him!
452
00:43:13,815 --> 00:43:18,062
(Georgina) - Leave him alone.
(Albert) - I'll show you what a great teacher...
453
00:43:18,153 --> 00:43:23,230
Oh, I see. So I'm not supposed to do that?
I'll give you an education.
454
00:43:23,325 --> 00:43:25,863
- Albert, please leave him alone.
- Oh, no.
455
00:43:25,953 --> 00:43:28,740
- Stand there and don't you move.
- (Dogs barking)
456
00:43:28,830 --> 00:43:30,870
- Just leave him be.
- Watch this.
457
00:43:30,958 --> 00:43:35,370
- No. Wait till we get home, Albert.
- Georgie. Georgie, come here.
458
00:43:35,462 --> 00:43:40,005
Right. What's all this?
You're not wearing any bloody knickers.
459
00:43:40,092 --> 00:43:43,626
You've been sitting in that restaurant
with no knickers on?
460
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:47,884
With Cory and Mitchel and all those people?
What's this mean?
461
00:43:47,975 --> 00:43:50,347
Where are they? Give them to me at once.
462
00:43:50,435 --> 00:43:54,765
Go on. Look at this.
Get in that car, you dirty whore.
463
00:43:54,856 --> 00:43:58,605
Why don't you take everything off?
464
00:43:58,694 --> 00:44:03,190
- Get in there. Go on! Get in that car!
- (Georgina gasping)
465
00:44:03,282 --> 00:44:07,030
- Now you! You get in there as well.
- No!
466
00:44:07,119 --> 00:44:10,903
- Go on. Get in there. Get in.
- No! Please!
467
00:44:11,665 --> 00:44:15,330
- No! No! No!
- Get in there! Get in.
468
00:44:15,419 --> 00:44:17,542
(exclaims in pain)
469
00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:24,755
- (Albert) Right...
- (Glass smashes)
470
00:44:24,845 --> 00:44:27,051
(Georgina screaming) No!
471
00:44:33,270 --> 00:44:37,433
♪Wash me thoroughly
472
00:44:37,524 --> 00:44:41,392
♪From my iniquity
473
00:44:42,529 --> 00:44:50,869
♪And cleanse me from my sins
474
00:44:52,706 --> 00:44:59,420
♪Have mercy upon me...
475
00:45:01,798 --> 00:45:03,957
I have two minutes.
476
00:45:28,867 --> 00:45:36,779
♪Purge me with hyssop
477
00:45:39,378 --> 00:45:41,501
♪And I shall be
478
00:45:42,756 --> 00:45:44,879
♪Clean
479
00:45:46,426 --> 00:45:49,842
♪Wash me
480
00:45:49,930 --> 00:45:53,595
♪Wash me
481
00:45:53,684 --> 00:46:01,348
♪And I shall be whiter than snow
482
00:46:03,277 --> 00:46:07,061
♪Make me to hear
483
00:46:07,155 --> 00:46:16,112
- ♪Thy joy and gladness.
- (Glasses reverberate)
484
00:46:16,206 --> 00:46:18,744
♪That the bones
485
00:46:18,834 --> 00:46:27,838
♪That Thou hast broken may rejoice.♪
486
00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:31,731
Do you know, Mitchel,
what prairie oysters are?
487
00:47:32,783 --> 00:47:34,822
Fish.
488
00:47:34,910 --> 00:47:39,406
So if someone feeds you a prairie oyster,
what would you be eating?
489
00:47:39,498 --> 00:47:43,578
Fish. Like from the lakes and that.
They're the...
490
00:47:43,669 --> 00:47:46,207
The clams with the little pearls in.
491
00:47:47,130 --> 00:47:50,831
Prairie oysters would be very precious
to their owners. No.
492
00:47:50,926 --> 00:47:52,965
No, look. Imagine...
493
00:47:53,053 --> 00:47:57,217
Just imagine that this is a prairie oyster.
494
00:47:57,307 --> 00:48:01,471
Now, go on. Eat that. Go on.
Put it in your mouth. Go on. Go on.
495
00:48:01,561 --> 00:48:04,231
Now, what's it taste like?
496
00:48:06,483 --> 00:48:08,689
- Wet bread.
- No.
497
00:48:08,777 --> 00:48:11,695
It's all squishy with gritty bits in it.
498
00:48:13,448 --> 00:48:15,737
That's the sand.
499
00:48:17,744 --> 00:48:20,662
That's the sand. You're a comic.
500
00:48:20,747 --> 00:48:24,412
No, you mule. It's got a skin round it.
501
00:48:27,629 --> 00:48:29,788
- Do you spit the skin out?
- No.
502
00:48:29,881 --> 00:48:33,085
Pick it out of your teeth afterwards,
chump it up.
503
00:48:33,176 --> 00:48:36,343
Now, swallow that, go on, swallow it.
Swallow it.
504
00:48:36,430 --> 00:48:38,469
Go on, that's right.
505
00:48:38,557 --> 00:48:42,804
Now, Mitchel, you have just eaten
a sheep's bollock.
506
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,769
The next time I ask you
to work for me, Mitchel,
507
00:48:51,862 --> 00:48:55,812
I'll be expecting you to chew
someone's bollocks off on demand.
508
00:48:57,618 --> 00:48:59,657
Oh, you're back.
509
00:48:59,745 --> 00:49:03,079
What do you find in that toilet
that's so fascinating?
510
00:49:03,090 --> 00:49:05,211
I'll go and have a pee and a look.
511
00:49:05,292 --> 00:49:08,155
What have they got
since I was last in there?
512
00:49:08,166 --> 00:49:10,343
Velvet seats, dirty pictures?
Hah.
513
00:49:10,422 --> 00:49:14,040
Free perfume? A private drinks bar?
514
00:49:44,873 --> 00:49:47,660
Cor, what a disgusting smell in here!
515
00:49:47,751 --> 00:49:51,535
Must be the pigs using it, eh?
How disgusting it is.
516
00:49:51,630 --> 00:49:55,793
Ha! Urgh, how horrible. Disgusting.
517
00:49:55,884 --> 00:49:59,170
Revolting place, needs airing out.
What's this?
518
00:49:59,263 --> 00:50:01,718
Gaw, phwoar, phwoar...
519
00:50:02,849 --> 00:50:07,808
Look. "There was a young man from Uckinham
who got caught while he was..."
520
00:50:07,896 --> 00:50:12,273
That is disgusting!
People ought to be locked up for that.
521
00:50:12,359 --> 00:50:15,526
Absolutely appalling.
Not what I'm used to at all.
522
00:50:15,612 --> 00:50:19,195
It's disgraceful.
Don't you reckon, don't you think?
523
00:50:19,283 --> 00:50:21,489
Yes. God.
524
00:50:21,577 --> 00:50:24,780
- 'Ere, what are you looking at?
- What are you talking about?
525
00:50:24,871 --> 00:50:29,249
Don't pretend. You're waiting
for my young associates, aren't you?
526
00:50:29,334 --> 00:50:32,584
A man ought to be able to piss
without harassment.
527
00:50:32,671 --> 00:50:35,707
- How dare you? I'm getting the manager.
- I am the manager.
528
00:50:35,799 --> 00:50:39,963
And you are out on the street.
Caught loitering in a toilet.
529
00:50:40,053 --> 00:50:42,544
- Ow!
- Yeah.
530
00:50:42,639 --> 00:50:47,930
That's what these people need.
Short, sharp, shock treatment.
531
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,649
Hello. What are you doing? Reading again?
532
00:50:57,738 --> 00:50:59,122
This is not a library.
533
00:50:59,133 --> 00:51:02,908
The only thing you're allowed
to read in here is the menu.
534
00:51:02,993 --> 00:51:05,531
You are insulting the chef.
535
00:51:05,621 --> 00:51:08,871
Reading gives you indigestion,
didn't you know that?
536
00:51:08,957 --> 00:51:11,282
Don't read at the table.
537
00:51:13,629 --> 00:51:17,496
I've just been reading stuff
to make your hair curl.
538
00:51:17,591 --> 00:51:19,833
Out there, in the toilet.
539
00:51:19,927 --> 00:51:23,130
That's the sort of stuff
people read, not this.
540
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:25,677
Don't you feel out of touch?
541
00:51:25,766 --> 00:51:28,221
Does this stuff make money?
542
00:51:28,310 --> 00:51:32,853
You know, I bet you're
the only man who's read this book.
543
00:51:32,940 --> 00:51:36,605
But I bet you every man here
has read that stuff out there.
544
00:51:36,693 --> 00:51:39,315
It makes you think, doesn't it?
545
00:51:39,404 --> 00:51:43,734
You know, I reckon you read
because you got nobody to talk to.
546
00:51:43,825 --> 00:51:48,452
I tell you what. So you shouldn't eat alone,
why don't you come and join us?
547
00:51:48,538 --> 00:51:50,780
Come and meet my wife.
548
00:51:50,874 --> 00:51:52,623
(Laughs) She's seen you.
549
00:51:52,634 --> 00:51:56,424
I know she's sorry for you
sitting here all alone.
550
00:51:56,505 --> 00:52:01,665
She likes to read too.
She spends hours sitting on the bed reading.
551
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,381
She even reads on the john.
552
00:52:11,603 --> 00:52:13,845
This is Cory.
553
00:52:15,857 --> 00:52:20,318
This is Mitchel.
He can't read, can you, Mitchel?
554
00:52:20,404 --> 00:52:23,607
- Yes, I can.
- Yeah. Comics and dirty magazines.
555
00:52:24,449 --> 00:52:28,317
And this is Georgina. She is my wife.
556
00:52:29,913 --> 00:52:32,072
What's your name?
557
00:52:33,166 --> 00:52:34,343
Michael.
558
00:52:34,354 --> 00:52:37,885
Well, Michael.
Is that a Jewish name, Michael?
559
00:52:37,963 --> 00:52:39,801
Do you eat kosher food, Michael?
560
00:52:39,812 --> 00:52:43,429
Sit down, Michael, and tell us
all about kosher food, Michael.
561
00:52:43,510 --> 00:52:46,546
- I'm sorry but I'm not Jewish.
- Why hide it?
562
00:52:46,638 --> 00:52:51,217
60% of the people in this restaurant
are a touch Jewish, Michael.
563
00:52:51,310 --> 00:52:53,551
Richard, set another place for Michael.
564
00:52:53,645 --> 00:52:58,853
He is Jewish, so maybe you could find him
some spare ribs. No pork.
565
00:53:00,068 --> 00:53:01,673
He won't need those.
566
00:53:01,684 --> 00:53:05,535
We're going to hold a conversation,
aren't we?
567
00:53:05,616 --> 00:53:09,530
You can start, Georgie.
Tell Michael all about yourself.
568
00:53:10,495 --> 00:53:13,340
I'm sure your wife would
rather eat in peace.
569
00:53:13,351 --> 00:53:14,835
No. Talk, Georgina.
570
00:53:14,917 --> 00:53:18,665
Here's your chance
to improve your table conversation.
571
00:53:18,754 --> 00:53:20,877
Tell Michael you live in a big house
572
00:53:20,964 --> 00:53:23,716
and you spend £400 a week on clothes.
573
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:25,876
I spend £400 a week on clothes.
574
00:53:25,969 --> 00:53:29,303
You have a petrol allowance of £40 a week.
575
00:53:29,389 --> 00:53:33,221
I have a petrol allowance of £40 a week,
which I never use.
576
00:53:33,310 --> 00:53:36,145
- You wear beautiful things.
- I wear beautiful things.
577
00:53:36,229 --> 00:53:39,563
- You eat in the best restaurants.
- I eat in the best restaurants.
578
00:53:39,650 --> 00:53:42,437
Georgina, try a little harder, please.
579
00:53:44,655 --> 00:53:48,320
- I go to a good hairdresser.
- Yes, the best there is.
580
00:53:48,408 --> 00:53:52,488
- I go to a good dentist.
- Yes, yeah, oh, yeah. He's Jewish.
581
00:53:52,579 --> 00:53:55,865
- I go to a good gynaecologist.
- You what?
582
00:53:55,958 --> 00:53:58,641
Who says it's unlikely
I'll ever have a baby.
583
00:53:58,652 --> 00:54:00,926
Michael doesn't want to know that.
584
00:54:01,004 --> 00:54:04,456
That the three miscarriages
have ruined my insides.
585
00:54:04,549 --> 00:54:08,132
That isn't true,
Michael doesn't need to know that.
586
00:54:08,220 --> 00:54:11,247
Now, drink up, Michael,
let's talk about you.
587
00:54:11,258 --> 00:54:12,310
What do you do?
588
00:54:14,685 --> 00:54:17,057
I'm a gynaecologist.
589
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,683
- You're a what?
- You could always come and see me.
590
00:54:21,775 --> 00:54:24,348
We don't need to discuss that subject.
591
00:54:24,444 --> 00:54:28,276
Being infertile makes me a safe bet
for a good screw.
592
00:54:28,365 --> 00:54:30,488
Shut up, Georgie!
593
00:54:33,996 --> 00:54:36,617
I must apologise for my wife, Michael.
594
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:42,247
If you don't get back to your table,
you're in danger of losing it.
595
00:54:42,337 --> 00:54:44,413
The place gets very full about now.
596
00:54:44,506 --> 00:54:49,049
Mitchel, take Michael back to his table.
Tell him about horses.
597
00:54:49,136 --> 00:54:51,841
Oh, it's all right, Mr Spica, thank you.
598
00:54:52,889 --> 00:54:55,262
I prefer to read my book.
599
00:54:56,101 --> 00:54:58,639
Besides, I've finished. Thank you.
600
00:55:00,063 --> 00:55:03,479
Thank you for introducing me to your wife.
601
00:55:03,567 --> 00:55:06,568
I like your name.
602
00:55:54,660 --> 00:55:56,699
(Georgina) Ah.
603
00:56:00,249 --> 00:56:02,662
What the hell do you think you're doing? Eh?
604
00:56:02,673 --> 00:56:04,173
(Knife being sharpened)
605
00:56:04,253 --> 00:56:10,421
Telling a complete stranger
intimate details about us?
606
00:56:10,509 --> 00:56:13,130
It's not about us. It's about me.
607
00:56:13,220 --> 00:56:15,758
It's about us!
608
00:56:15,847 --> 00:56:19,347
And what's all this,
how much time you spend in that loo?
609
00:56:19,434 --> 00:56:22,554
What's all this about a gynaecologist?
Who is he?
610
00:56:22,646 --> 00:56:24,225
It'd better be a she.
611
00:56:24,236 --> 00:56:27,995
I don't want some bloke
fingering my wife about.
612
00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:31,318
It's a man. He's Jewish.
613
00:56:31,405 --> 00:56:35,817
- And he's from Ethiopia.
- What?
614
00:56:35,909 --> 00:56:39,859
His mother is a Roman Catholic,
he's been in prison in South Africa,
615
00:56:39,997 --> 00:56:44,041
he's as black as the ace of spades
and probably drinks his own pee.
616
00:56:44,126 --> 00:56:46,368
- Take that, you bitch!
- Oh!
617
00:56:46,461 --> 00:56:50,245
You lying, ungrateful bitch!
You get in that car.
618
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:52,878
It's the doghouse for you, you bitch.
619
00:56:52,968 --> 00:56:57,926
Bloody gynaecologist. Blasted gynaecologist.
620
00:56:58,015 --> 00:57:00,588
(Dogs barking)
621
00:57:00,684 --> 00:57:02,890
Get up. Get up.
622
00:57:05,188 --> 00:57:08,225
Get in the car, you slag.
623
00:57:09,568 --> 00:57:11,726
Get in there. Go on.
624
00:57:14,823 --> 00:57:16,863
Yeah.
625
00:57:18,285 --> 00:57:20,324
(Dogs yelp)
626
00:57:42,684 --> 00:57:44,724
(Albert) Maiser came here.
627
00:57:44,811 --> 00:57:49,687
And Trelawny with his black lady friends
who wore peaches in their hair.
628
00:57:49,775 --> 00:57:51,981
- (Woman) Peaches?
- Imitation.
629
00:57:52,069 --> 00:57:56,731
And the Austrian brothers sat by the door -
high-wire professionals.
630
00:57:56,823 --> 00:57:59,196
Great balancers, sloppy with money.
631
00:57:59,284 --> 00:58:06,497
And Tim Tranter drank soup here out of a
cup with a straw when his jaw was broken.
632
00:58:06,583 --> 00:58:11,826
There used to be a mark up there
where Goshy Capps threw a plate of kippers.
633
00:58:11,922 --> 00:58:14,543
- Kippers?
- Yes, kippers, for God's sake.
634
00:58:14,633 --> 00:58:17,005
(Woman) You wouldn't find kippers here.
635
00:58:17,094 --> 00:58:21,091
- They serve kippers for breakfast here.
- (Man) You've had breakfast here?
636
00:58:21,181 --> 00:58:24,217
The ferryman and his lady
ate here every morning.
637
00:58:24,309 --> 00:58:28,687
The ferryman was a poofter.
And fish disagreed with him.
638
00:58:28,772 --> 00:58:33,149
- Who are all these people?
- Small-time crooks and pimps...
639
00:58:33,235 --> 00:58:36,520
Boarst painted it out.
I'll get him to paint it back again.
640
00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:40,397
...gigolos, busted boxers, cheap whores...
641
00:58:40,492 --> 00:58:42,781
(Albert) I've got the clippings at home.
642
00:58:42,869 --> 00:58:45,989
...bullies, hairdressers, faggots.
643
00:58:46,081 --> 00:58:48,654
- (Albert) Robin Hoods.
- No, just hoods.
644
00:58:48,750 --> 00:58:53,993
(Albert) You're getting very smart.
(Cory) Smart? Even his slang's out of date.
645
00:58:54,089 --> 00:58:57,624
(Albert) Now I'm the clientele,
you understand? Me.
646
00:58:57,718 --> 00:59:01,715
And Georgie here and Cory Peterson.
The coq Au Vin is good.
647
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:05,933
(Man) Cock a what?
(Albert) Chicken cooked in wine, you mule.
648
00:59:06,018 --> 00:59:10,478
- Bess Riddle lived on coq Au Vin.
- (Man) More of the coq than the Vin.
649
00:59:10,564 --> 00:59:11,501
(Grace laughing)
650
00:59:11,512 --> 00:59:14,322
(Albert)
Starkie, there are ladies present.
651
00:59:14,401 --> 00:59:18,315
- Or there were. Where's she gone?
- Gracie's no lady, are you?
652
00:59:18,405 --> 00:59:21,739
- (Grace) She must have a bladder infection.
- She's one of us.
653
00:59:21,825 --> 00:59:25,657
(Albert) There's nothing wrong
except she disappears to the John.
654
00:59:25,746 --> 00:59:29,197
(Man) And which of the bladder infections
do you have, Starkie?
655
00:59:29,291 --> 00:59:31,580
(Man) Ladies go to the toilet, not the john.
656
00:59:31,668 --> 00:59:36,081
Real ladies don't go to the toilet,
they go to the bathroom.
657
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:40,672
- (Mitchel) Boarst hasn't got a bathroom.
- (Albert) Shut your mouth.
658
00:59:40,761 --> 00:59:45,090
You'd pee in your pants
before you'd recognise a respectable WC.
659
00:59:53,607 --> 00:59:56,643
So, he's broken the silence for us
660
00:59:58,153 --> 01:00:00,311
and your name is Georgina.
661
01:00:02,574 --> 01:00:07,366
Yes. And don't ever call me Georgie.
662
01:00:09,331 --> 01:00:11,952
You have beautiful eyes, Georgina.
663
01:00:16,338 --> 01:00:20,549
And you have a beautiful prick,
Mr Gynaecologist.
664
01:00:21,677 --> 01:00:26,089
- I have?
- Yes, whatever its racist beliefs.
665
01:00:29,643 --> 01:00:33,391
- Your husband is a curiosity.
- He is?
666
01:00:38,485 --> 01:00:40,893
Why?
667
01:00:40,988 --> 01:00:43,111
Why what?
668
01:00:45,784 --> 01:00:47,860
Why am I married to him?
669
01:00:50,581 --> 01:00:52,620
Why aren't you married?
670
01:00:52,708 --> 01:00:55,329
- How do you know I'm not?
- You're not.
671
01:00:58,130 --> 01:01:00,336
- I'm not.
- Why?
672
01:01:05,679 --> 01:01:09,041
I once saw a film in which the
main character didn't speak
673
01:01:09,052 --> 01:01:10,647
for the first half an hour.
674
01:01:10,726 --> 01:01:12,037
Like us?
675
01:01:12,048 --> 01:01:15,979
Do all the minutes we've been together
add up to half an hour?
676
01:01:18,692 --> 01:01:24,315
I was completely absorbed as to what would
happen because anything was possible.
677
01:01:25,824 --> 01:01:28,529
And then?
678
01:01:28,619 --> 01:01:31,785
He spoilt it - he spoke.
679
01:01:33,540 --> 01:01:37,289
- And?
- Within five minutes, I'd lost interest.
680
01:01:38,962 --> 01:01:43,589
So now you've opened your mouth,
do you expect me to lose interest?
681
01:01:45,218 --> 01:01:47,460
It was only a film.
682
01:01:52,225 --> 01:01:55,511
Erm, now, we've been talking for one minute.
683
01:01:56,688 --> 01:02:00,223
We've got four minutes left
before you lose interest.
684
01:02:00,317 --> 01:02:02,855
Four minutes. That's enough.
685
01:02:02,945 --> 01:02:05,103
Where's the bomb?
686
01:02:05,197 --> 01:02:12,658
He's, er... He's eating
avocado vinaigrette and prawns.
687
01:02:13,914 --> 01:02:16,037
With his fingers.
688
01:02:17,876 --> 01:02:19,916
Kiss me.
689
01:02:24,383 --> 01:02:29,424
- Your restaurant's noisy, Spica.
- It's popular on a Sunday night.
690
01:02:29,513 --> 01:02:32,348
I like a quiet restaurant, with floor shows.
691
01:02:32,432 --> 01:02:36,264
Boarst is a culinary artist,
not a fancy entertainer.
692
01:02:36,353 --> 01:02:39,971
But we're here to please you, Terry.
We'll get you a floor show.
693
01:02:40,065 --> 01:02:44,312
Cory, phone Santini. Five girls - strippers.
694
01:02:44,403 --> 01:02:47,404
Make it decent, will you?
My daughter's present.
695
01:02:47,489 --> 01:02:51,487
Five dancing girls with music.
Strictly no filth, only class.
696
01:02:51,577 --> 01:02:54,696
And make it quiet.
I want to keep my ears till I'm 90.
697
01:02:54,788 --> 01:02:59,367
God, Terry, what sort of floor show
do you like? Mute nuns?
698
01:02:59,459 --> 01:03:03,623
If they call me Mr Fitch, I might.
I'm only Terry to my wife, Spica.
699
01:03:03,714 --> 01:03:06,999
- Like me.
- You're Terry and all, are you?
700
01:03:07,092 --> 01:03:10,924
- I'm only Albert to Georgina.
- Even when she's in the loo?
701
01:03:11,013 --> 01:03:14,547
- Shut your whore up, Cory!
- God, you're noisy, Spica.
702
01:03:14,641 --> 01:03:18,556
Makes for indigestion.
Don't you find, love? What's your name?
703
01:03:18,645 --> 01:03:20,021
Patricia, Mr Fitch.
704
01:03:20,105 --> 01:03:24,150
Are you a good dancer?
You look as if you might be a good dancer.
705
01:03:24,234 --> 01:03:28,232
We'd like to see you get up
and dance, with Geoff.
706
01:03:28,322 --> 01:03:30,563
Geoff's a very good dancer.
707
01:03:30,657 --> 01:03:34,358
- There's no dancing allowed.
- I always eat at home.
708
01:03:34,453 --> 01:03:36,944
- Best place.
- No food poisoning.
709
01:03:37,039 --> 01:03:42,080
Ricky Boarst is as safe as houses.
He keeps a very clean kitchen, go and see.
710
01:03:42,169 --> 01:03:44,327
I'd like to see.
711
01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:49,878
- Mitchel, take the lady to see the kitchen.
- I'll take her myself, Spica.
712
01:03:52,971 --> 01:03:56,138
- Show me the way.
- Through that door.
713
01:03:56,224 --> 01:04:00,388
I'll call in the bathroom
and send Georgie back tout de suite.
714
01:04:00,479 --> 01:04:02,685
That means immediately.
715
01:04:02,773 --> 01:04:07,351
- Your new girlfriend's cheap, Cory.
- She's only practising her French.
716
01:04:07,444 --> 01:04:09,852
It's a French restaurant, isn't it?
717
01:04:33,720 --> 01:04:36,425
Someone's having pheasant for dinner.
718
01:04:36,515 --> 01:04:38,554
(Georgina laughs)
719
01:04:41,853 --> 01:04:45,139
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
720
01:04:46,149 --> 01:04:50,194
We could be interrupted, um... 700 times.
721
01:04:51,947 --> 01:04:55,306
What's your boyfriend
paying you, Patricia?
722
01:04:55,317 --> 01:04:57,912
Paying me? He doesn't pay me.
723
01:04:57,995 --> 01:05:00,912
He buys me meals and drinks.
724
01:05:00,998 --> 01:05:04,034
- Doesn't he give you no pocket money?
- No.
725
01:05:04,126 --> 01:05:07,826
Nothing for a tuna fish sandwich
late at night or a bottle of gin
726
01:05:07,921 --> 01:05:11,207
- to make you forget what you had for lunch?
- No.
727
01:05:11,300 --> 01:05:14,669
(Sniffs) Phew, it stinks here.
728
01:05:17,055 --> 01:05:20,590
Listen, how about if...
729
01:05:20,684 --> 01:05:22,842
if I gave you some pocket money?
730
01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:26,227
What do I have to do to earn it?
731
01:05:47,753 --> 01:05:50,504
OK, here they are. Where's Fitch?
732
01:05:51,381 --> 01:05:54,133
Phillipe, clear those tables.
We need more space.
733
01:05:54,217 --> 01:05:57,337
- But Mr Spica, they are eating.
- Move them.
734
01:05:57,429 --> 01:06:01,593
You are in the way of the floor show.
You're gonna have to move.
735
01:06:01,683 --> 01:06:03,806
We're in the middle of our meal.
736
01:06:03,894 --> 01:06:08,556
If you're going to eat quite quickly,
you can finish your soup.
737
01:06:09,399 --> 01:06:13,018
After all, you don't want
to get trampled on, do you?
738
01:06:14,279 --> 01:06:16,486
Hold him. Hold him.
739
01:06:16,573 --> 01:06:18,696
(Gasping, screaming)
740
01:06:19,826 --> 01:06:22,448
It's a pity you didn't take my advice.
741
01:06:22,537 --> 01:06:25,989
All that lovely food.
Richard will be disappointed.
742
01:06:26,083 --> 01:06:32,038
Now, you're gonna have to eat in the kitchen
like naughty little children, eh?
743
01:06:32,130 --> 01:06:34,586
Hey, what is your name?
744
01:06:34,675 --> 01:06:38,340
What did you say?
Did I hear you say William?
745
01:06:38,428 --> 01:06:42,343
Well, naughty little Willie,
tiny little Willie,
746
01:06:42,432 --> 01:06:45,801
how would you like
to be spanked on your big, fat bottom?
747
01:06:45,894 --> 01:06:47,934
(Gasping)
748
01:06:54,403 --> 01:06:59,278
Seeing as you're so keen
on Richard's mushrooms, William,
749
01:06:59,366 --> 01:07:04,491
you, I'm gonna give you five,
the count of five
750
01:07:04,580 --> 01:07:08,447
and I want to see you
on the way to the kitchen
751
01:07:08,542 --> 01:07:10,618
or you'll be out in the street!
752
01:07:10,711 --> 01:07:12,750
Get out.
753
01:07:15,007 --> 01:07:17,046
(Shouting)
754
01:07:19,469 --> 01:07:21,509
(Screaming)
755
01:07:22,598 --> 01:07:25,552
(♪ Cabaret singer)
756
01:07:27,477 --> 01:07:32,139
♪I am waiting, I am waiting
757
01:07:33,108 --> 01:07:37,485
♪Come up with something sometime now
758
01:07:38,572 --> 01:07:43,530
♪We're only here for love...
759
01:07:43,619 --> 01:07:47,153
- Oh, look at the time. I must go back.
- One minute more.
760
01:07:47,247 --> 01:07:49,952
- No.
- 30 seconds.
761
01:07:59,468 --> 01:08:01,591
(Fitch grunting)
762
01:08:02,429 --> 01:08:05,264
Oh! Oh!
763
01:08:05,349 --> 01:08:08,848
Oh. What the hell are you doing?
764
01:08:08,936 --> 01:08:12,139
I bought meself a ride.
Why don't you keep still?
765
01:08:12,230 --> 01:08:14,556
Sorry, I had a surprise.
766
01:08:15,192 --> 01:08:20,020
What bloody surprises
could there be possibly left for you?
767
01:08:20,113 --> 01:08:22,236
I give up, you bitch.
768
01:08:23,367 --> 01:08:25,774
I'm sick of jumpy whores.
769
01:08:26,745 --> 01:08:29,002
You're only worth a Fitch one star -
770
01:08:29,013 --> 01:08:31,880
that ain't for looks,
that's for availability.
771
01:08:31,959 --> 01:08:34,284
♪I am waiting
772
01:08:35,295 --> 01:08:37,454
♪I am waiting
773
01:08:38,465 --> 01:08:42,677
♪Come up with something sometime now
774
01:08:43,679 --> 01:08:47,842
♪We're only here for love
775
01:08:48,934 --> 01:08:51,425
♪Outside the reach of money
776
01:08:51,520 --> 01:08:53,927
♪Beyond the reach of fame
777
01:08:54,022 --> 01:08:58,601
♪We're not for buying or lending out...
778
01:08:58,694 --> 01:09:01,730
Look who's just come out of the woodwork.
779
01:09:06,994 --> 01:09:09,449
♪Be quick and be tight
780
01:09:09,538 --> 01:09:12,243
♪And be it not and be right
781
01:09:12,332 --> 01:09:15,084
♪Then be slow and...
782
01:09:15,168 --> 01:09:20,839
- (Cory) What've you been doing?
- I've just been earning you good money.
783
01:09:20,924 --> 01:09:24,708
And I've just seen
how we can earn ourselves some more.
784
01:09:26,597 --> 01:09:29,004
♪Then go.
785
01:09:30,142 --> 01:09:32,265
(Cheering, applause)
786
01:09:35,564 --> 01:09:37,603
(Hollow banging, dogs barking)
787
01:09:38,525 --> 01:09:41,791
(Inspector) We have complaints
of offensive smells
788
01:09:41,802 --> 01:09:44,490
from two vans on the restaurant premises.
789
01:09:44,573 --> 01:09:47,693
The restaurant denies any responsibility.
Over.
790
01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:50,454
(Police radio)
791
01:09:50,537 --> 01:09:52,577
Why can't we meet somewhere else?
792
01:09:52,664 --> 01:09:57,243
That's impossible.
It's better to do it under his nose.
793
01:09:57,336 --> 01:10:01,285
He'll never believe I do it
right under his nose
794
01:10:03,050 --> 01:10:05,541
between courses,
795
01:10:05,636 --> 01:10:08,590
between the hors d'oeuvres
and the canard à l' orange,
796
01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:10,720
between the dessert and the coffee.
797
01:10:12,100 --> 01:10:14,508
Besides,
798
01:10:15,687 --> 01:10:17,727
I'm learning fast
799
01:10:18,941 --> 01:10:21,063
how to cut corners, save time.
800
01:10:23,153 --> 01:10:26,736
I'm getting good at it, aren't I, Michael?
Aren't I?
801
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:31,236
Aren't I getting good at it? Aren't I?
802
01:10:31,328 --> 01:10:33,949
Aren't I getting good at it? Mm.
803
01:10:35,165 --> 01:10:38,000
Aren't I getting good at it? Oh.
804
01:10:38,794 --> 01:10:41,166
(Dogs barking, police radio)
805
01:10:44,258 --> 01:10:47,876
(Albert) Last night was bloody awful
and you're to blame, Cory.
806
01:10:47,970 --> 01:10:51,884
- Tonight you'll starve.
- I don't like the foreign muck anyway.
807
01:10:51,974 --> 01:10:54,678
Don't talk to me like that,
you uneducated prat!
808
01:10:54,689 --> 01:10:57,061
You couldn't organise
a rape in a brothel!
809
01:10:58,021 --> 01:11:03,229
The girls were lousy, the music was lousy,
you mucked the whole thing up.
810
01:11:03,318 --> 01:11:06,604
Couldn't keep your own girl
under control at all. Tch!
811
01:11:06,697 --> 01:11:09,484
- First she shows off...
- I didn't.
812
01:11:09,575 --> 01:11:12,112
Shut your face, who's talking to you?
813
01:11:12,202 --> 01:11:14,444
Then she goes and plays hard to get.
814
01:11:14,538 --> 01:11:19,081
I mean, if she's been with you, Cory,
how the hell can she be hard to get?
815
01:11:22,754 --> 01:11:26,622
Spangler, get us a drink, quickly.
Then she upsets Fitch in some way.
816
01:11:26,717 --> 01:11:29,634
- (Patricia) Fitch is a pig.
- Fitch has got manners.
817
01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:32,839
He was like a bear with a sore head.
Did you piss in his pants?
818
01:11:32,931 --> 01:11:36,929
Then she's giggling like a virgin
playing with a candle.
819
01:11:37,019 --> 01:11:42,013
You'll have to make it up to him.
He likes you, though you look like a bloke.
820
01:11:42,107 --> 01:11:45,891
- Perhaps he likes blokes.
- None of that homosexual talk.
821
01:11:45,986 --> 01:11:49,271
He'll remember.
Yesterday evening's got my name on it.
822
01:11:49,364 --> 01:11:53,694
I'm not going with him.
He sweats and stinks and he can't make it.
823
01:11:53,785 --> 01:11:56,241
- Shut your whore up, Cory.
- Like Georgie?
824
01:11:56,330 --> 01:11:57,163
Shut up!
825
01:11:57,174 --> 01:11:59,673
She's a fine woman.
She's never let me down.
826
01:11:59,750 --> 01:12:02,288
- You must be joking.
- Shut up, Pat!
827
01:12:02,377 --> 01:12:05,164
- She's upset.
- What do you mean, I must be joking?
828
01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:08,173
- Here. Get rid of her.
- Don't do that to a woman.
829
01:12:08,258 --> 01:12:11,461
- I do what I like to a woman.
- That's your trouble.
830
01:12:11,553 --> 01:12:15,717
No wonder Georgie looks like she does
and hates your guts.
831
01:12:15,807 --> 01:12:19,093
- What are you talking about?
- No wonder she screws around.
832
01:12:19,186 --> 01:12:20,111
You what?
833
01:12:20,122 --> 01:12:22,896
You're so bloody blind,
you'd never notice.
834
01:12:22,981 --> 01:12:25,816
- Shut up! She's raving.
- I'm not. I saw them.
835
01:12:25,901 --> 01:12:27,940
- Who?
- Georgie and that Jew.
836
01:12:28,028 --> 01:12:31,812
- What Jew?
- That bloke who sits over there, reading.
837
01:12:31,907 --> 01:12:35,857
Haven't you noticed?
They always go off to the John together.
838
01:12:35,953 --> 01:12:37,130
You what?
839
01:12:37,141 --> 01:12:40,671
Why do you think Georgie's
always in the john?
840
01:12:40,749 --> 01:12:41,728
You blind bat.
841
01:12:41,739 --> 01:12:44,674
She doesn't have the shits
every five minutes.
842
01:12:45,545 --> 01:12:47,585
Shit!
843
01:12:48,423 --> 01:12:50,463
(Patricia cries)
844
01:12:52,970 --> 01:12:57,299
Shh. It's all right.
It's all right. Shh. Quiet.
845
01:12:57,391 --> 01:12:59,430
Shh. Shh.
846
01:13:01,228 --> 01:13:03,267
Shh.
847
01:13:13,115 --> 01:13:15,154
(Patricia sobbing)
848
01:13:26,253 --> 01:13:28,411
I'm going to the loo.
849
01:13:34,636 --> 01:13:36,878
(Gasping, screaming)
850
01:13:37,639 --> 01:13:39,679
Georgina!
851
01:13:41,768 --> 01:13:43,808
Georgina!
852
01:13:44,730 --> 01:13:48,063
Georgina, where are you,
you bitch? Georgina!
853
01:13:48,609 --> 01:13:52,689
- What are you doing? Get out!
- Get out, you bitch. Georgina!
854
01:13:52,779 --> 01:13:54,819
Where are you? Get out!
855
01:13:54,906 --> 01:13:57,029
- (Screaming)
- Go on, get out!
856
01:13:57,117 --> 01:13:59,323
Where are you?
857
01:13:59,411 --> 01:14:03,278
- No, please!
- Get out of here! Get out, you...
858
01:14:03,373 --> 01:14:07,453
Please, no! Please, no!
859
01:14:07,544 --> 01:14:10,249
- Go on! Georgie!
- Please, no.
860
01:14:10,714 --> 01:14:12,754
Where are you, Georgie?
861
01:14:16,345 --> 01:14:18,384
(Coughing, retching)
862
01:14:18,472 --> 01:14:20,511
(Flies buzzing)
863
01:14:26,897 --> 01:14:31,393
- (Shouting, pots clattering)
- (Whispering) It's over. He has found out.
864
01:14:31,485 --> 01:14:35,185
- (Albert) Georgina? Georgina!
- (Falling cutlery)
865
01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:37,605
- (Banging)
- Georgina!
866
01:14:37,699 --> 01:14:40,784
- Georgie! You get out.
- (Woman screams)
867
01:14:40,869 --> 01:14:42,529
(Crashing)
868
01:14:42,621 --> 01:14:45,491
I'll get him to leave.
869
01:14:45,582 --> 01:14:49,532
- Richard, don't get into trouble over me.
- Georgie!
870
01:14:49,628 --> 01:14:51,667
(Woman screaming)
871
01:14:51,755 --> 01:14:55,206
- Let's go and face him.
- Don't be mad. He'll kill you!
872
01:14:55,300 --> 01:14:57,625
Come quickly. Come with me.
873
01:15:02,516 --> 01:15:06,727
- Wait here five minutes.
- (Michael) We'll freeze to death.
874
01:15:06,812 --> 01:15:11,224
He will never look in here.
Only five minutes. I will get your clothes.
875
01:15:11,316 --> 01:15:14,650
(Albert, distant) Georgie, where are you?
876
01:15:16,905 --> 01:15:20,855
- Georgina! Georgie, where are you?
- (Glass smashing)
877
01:15:20,951 --> 01:15:23,109
Georgie. Georgie.
878
01:15:25,122 --> 01:15:27,280
You! Where is she? Where's my wife?
879
01:15:27,374 --> 01:15:30,708
- What's the matter?
- You know. Fetching her cigarettes.
880
01:15:30,794 --> 01:15:33,712
- Where's my wife?
- (Richard) Your wife is your affair.
881
01:15:33,797 --> 01:15:36,549
This is not a lost property office.
882
01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:39,089
I want my wife! Where is she?
883
01:15:39,177 --> 01:15:43,045
You! You stupid little rat.
Where's my wife? Where is she?
884
01:15:43,140 --> 01:15:47,517
If you have finished,
I'll ask you to leave the kitchen.
885
01:15:47,603 --> 01:15:51,683
- I have other diners to consider.
- Oh! Uh!
886
01:15:51,773 --> 01:15:55,605
I'm the only diner who matters here.
I own this restaurant.
887
01:15:55,694 --> 01:15:58,897
I want my wife. You've hidden her.
Where is she?
888
01:15:59,906 --> 01:16:02,279
God keep me calm! Where are they?
889
01:16:02,367 --> 01:16:05,487
Georgina! Georgina!
890
01:16:05,996 --> 01:16:09,412
- Georgina! Georgina!
- Ahh!
891
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:13,335
Georgina! Where is she, Boarst?
892
01:16:16,214 --> 01:16:20,923
Boarst, where is she? Georgie! Georgie!
893
01:16:22,054 --> 01:16:24,723
Georgie, you bitch!
894
01:16:25,933 --> 01:16:28,470
(Inspector) Hard around.
895
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,600
(Dogs barking)
896
01:16:32,356 --> 01:16:35,641
Georgie! I want my wife!
897
01:16:37,361 --> 01:16:39,400
(Screaming)
898
01:16:44,826 --> 01:16:46,866
(Albert) Georgie!
899
01:16:50,165 --> 01:16:52,205
I'll bloody find her.
900
01:16:52,793 --> 01:16:54,832
I'll bloody find her.
901
01:16:54,920 --> 01:17:00,127
I'll find them. I'll bloody find them.
I knew it. Scheming tart!
902
01:17:00,217 --> 01:17:02,969
I'll bloody find them
and I'll bloody kill him!
903
01:17:03,053 --> 01:17:05,093
And I'll bloody eat him!
904
01:17:05,180 --> 01:17:07,932
I'll kill him and I'll eat him!
905
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:12,764
- I'll kill him and then I'll eat him.
- (Georgina) Oh, shit!
906
01:17:12,854 --> 01:17:15,974
- (Police radio)
- I'll eat him!
907
01:17:17,401 --> 01:17:19,440
I'll eat him!
908
01:17:19,528 --> 01:17:20,988
We can get you out.
909
01:17:20,999 --> 01:17:24,532
Eden can drive you.
Where do you want to go?
910
01:17:24,616 --> 01:17:26,823
I know a place.
911
01:17:26,910 --> 01:17:30,659
- What about our clothes?
- I'll get them to you. Quickly.
912
01:17:31,707 --> 01:17:33,830
Quickly. Quick.
913
01:17:52,519 --> 01:17:55,354
No. No. No, no.
914
01:17:55,439 --> 01:17:58,523
No, please. Aah! No.
915
01:18:04,114 --> 01:18:06,154
(Flies buzzing)
916
01:18:06,241 --> 01:18:08,364
(Georgina sobbing)
917
01:18:20,130 --> 01:18:22,170
(Georgina gasping)
918
01:19:36,373 --> 01:19:38,413
(Creaking)
919
01:19:39,751 --> 01:19:42,077
What is this place?
920
01:19:42,170 --> 01:19:45,171
It's a book depository.
921
01:19:45,257 --> 01:19:49,255
When my bookshop is quiet,
I do a stocktaking job.
922
01:19:50,679 --> 01:19:53,882
I'm cataloguing French history.
923
01:19:57,477 --> 01:20:00,265
There's a kitchen and a bathroom.
924
01:20:00,355 --> 01:20:04,483
It's a bit primitive but there's
an extraordinary view.
925
01:20:04,568 --> 01:20:06,940
Have you read all these books?
926
01:20:07,029 --> 01:20:09,152
No.
927
01:20:09,239 --> 01:20:15,028
It's not necessary
for the book-keeper to read all the stock.
928
01:20:15,120 --> 01:20:18,287
With a job like this,
you could be very boring.
929
01:20:20,709 --> 01:20:22,915
Are we safe here?
930
01:20:25,464 --> 01:20:27,540
Does Albert read?
931
01:20:27,633 --> 01:20:29,672
No.
932
01:20:32,346 --> 01:20:35,097
If you don't read, does that make you safe?
933
01:20:35,182 --> 01:20:37,388
Only from bad books.
934
01:20:39,269 --> 01:20:42,270
You could spend a lifetime in here reading.
935
01:20:42,356 --> 01:20:48,892
You could. Two lifetimes - yours and mine.
936
01:20:48,987 --> 01:20:51,525
- Is that what I'm in for?
- No.
937
01:20:56,662 --> 01:21:00,742
What good are all these books to you?
You can't eat them.
938
01:21:00,832 --> 01:21:03,668
How can they make you happy?
939
01:21:03,752 --> 01:21:06,623
I've always found them very reasonable.
940
01:21:06,713 --> 01:21:09,999
They don't change their minds
when you're not looking.
941
01:21:10,092 --> 01:21:12,796
That sounds like a disadvantage to me.
942
01:21:15,305 --> 01:21:17,428
Kiss me.
943
01:21:18,517 --> 01:21:22,467
♪Wash me thoroughly
944
01:21:22,562 --> 01:21:25,931
♪From my iniquity
945
01:21:26,650 --> 01:21:29,141
♪And blot out...
946
01:21:30,153 --> 01:21:32,479
- I...
- ♪Blot out...
947
01:21:32,572 --> 01:21:34,446
- I think perhaps...
- My...?
948
01:21:34,533 --> 01:21:38,032
I think perhaps we'll leave the singing.
949
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:41,204
Do you agree, until later, maybe?
950
01:21:45,335 --> 01:21:47,826
How is the restaurant?
951
01:21:47,921 --> 01:21:52,215
- It's all right.
- And Richard? Mr Boarst?
952
01:21:52,301 --> 01:21:54,542
He's fine.
953
01:21:56,138 --> 01:21:59,174
Is there any more trouble,
954
01:22:00,017 --> 01:22:02,258
er, like last night?
955
01:22:02,352 --> 01:22:05,139
- No, sir.
- Would you like to join us?
956
01:22:08,859 --> 01:22:12,559
No, thank you.
I'll eat later with Mr Boarst.
957
01:22:26,877 --> 01:22:28,916
Enjoy your meal.
958
01:22:29,004 --> 01:22:31,043
Thank you.
959
01:22:35,385 --> 01:22:41,388
Erm, have you any other news to tell us?
960
01:22:42,351 --> 01:22:47,974
Mr Boarst says...
He told me to tell you to stay put
961
01:22:48,065 --> 01:22:51,730
and he wishes you bon appétit.
962
01:22:51,818 --> 01:22:53,858
Thank you.
963
01:23:01,536 --> 01:23:04,740
When you're finished,
I'm to take the dishes back.
964
01:23:05,707 --> 01:23:12,077
Oh, if you find any of those books
interesting, you can borrow them.
965
01:23:43,829 --> 01:23:46,154
Wa-woo! Di-Di-Di-Di-dah-da!
966
01:23:50,168 --> 01:23:52,208
(Dogs barking)
967
01:23:56,049 --> 01:23:58,884
All right, where are they? Where are they?
968
01:23:59,720 --> 01:24:02,555
- I don't know.
- You don't know?
969
01:24:02,639 --> 01:24:07,385
I don't suppose you ate all this yourself.
What have we got in here? Let's see. Ah.
970
01:24:07,477 --> 01:24:11,807
Fish sauce with mayonnaise
and a touch of basil. I like basil.
971
01:24:11,898 --> 01:24:14,354
What else we got in here? Aha.
972
01:24:14,443 --> 01:24:18,061
It's sticky. Don't tell me.
Chocolate sauce - profiteroles.
973
01:24:18,155 --> 01:24:21,191
Georgina liked profiteroles.
974
01:24:21,825 --> 01:24:26,119
Oh, and serviettes
with Georgina's lipstick on them.
975
01:24:26,204 --> 01:24:29,075
And a nice bottle of wine. Very nice.
976
01:24:29,166 --> 01:24:32,250
He's for the chop, Richard.
I'll get my hands on him.
977
01:24:32,336 --> 01:24:36,832
Leave that bread roll alone. I need to know
where they are. Where are they? Eh?
978
01:24:36,924 --> 01:24:42,298
Ah. Ah. That's good.
Open your mouth. Come on, open it.
979
01:24:42,387 --> 01:24:46,136
- Take an interest in your food.
- (Mews) We don't need to do this.
980
01:24:46,224 --> 01:24:49,640
- Getting squeamish?
- He's just a kid.
981
01:24:49,728 --> 01:24:53,726
- Stand him up and get his trousers down.
- Leave him alone.
982
01:24:53,815 --> 01:24:59,320
Get out. Who needs fairies like you?
And take your four-eyed cousin with you.
983
01:24:59,404 --> 01:25:04,909
See how you get on in the streets without
me to wipe your noses. Get lost! Righto.
984
01:25:04,993 --> 01:25:08,327
OK, button eater, tell me where they are.
985
01:25:08,413 --> 01:25:10,453
(Screaming)
986
01:25:12,251 --> 01:25:14,706
OK, button eater, where are they?
987
01:25:15,963 --> 01:25:20,256
We've run out of buttons.
But there is one more button.
988
01:25:20,342 --> 01:25:23,758
It's your belly button.
How'd you like to swallow that?
989
01:25:23,845 --> 01:25:26,087
- Albert!
- You still here?
990
01:25:26,181 --> 01:25:29,052
- (Shrieking)
- Well, then, watch this.
991
01:25:37,234 --> 01:25:41,812
Wake him up! Wake him up, wake him up.
I must find out where she is!
992
01:25:41,905 --> 01:25:43,945
Wake him up!
993
01:25:44,950 --> 01:25:46,989
Wake him up!
994
01:25:48,036 --> 01:25:52,912
Where are they?
If he comes to, he better start to talk.
995
01:26:00,507 --> 01:26:03,128
(Albert laughs) I got 'em!
996
01:26:48,555 --> 01:26:50,762
I have brought your dinner.
997
01:26:59,399 --> 01:27:01,807
(Whispers) Where's the kitchen lad?
998
01:27:01,902 --> 01:27:05,686
- He is in hospital.
- What?
999
01:27:09,159 --> 01:27:13,786
He said he told them nothing
and I believe him.
1000
01:27:13,872 --> 01:27:18,084
- I must see him.
- (Richard) I don't think that's wise.
1001
01:27:18,168 --> 01:27:20,208
I'm coming.
1002
01:27:21,046 --> 01:27:23,619
You must take me to him.
1003
01:27:23,715 --> 01:27:27,084
- Start packing.
- (Michael) What have we got to pack?
1004
01:27:28,428 --> 01:27:31,762
Richard. Richard, bring that for Pup.
1005
01:27:31,848 --> 01:27:35,431
What can you do? You only endanger yourself.
1006
01:27:37,020 --> 01:27:39,309
I'll only be gone an hour.
1007
01:27:39,398 --> 01:27:42,601
Richard, you can bring me back, can't you?
1008
01:27:44,653 --> 01:27:48,271
Oh, poor Pup. Oh, poor Pup.
1009
01:27:48,365 --> 01:27:50,404
(Sobs)
1010
01:27:55,914 --> 01:27:58,239
Leave me something to eat.
1011
01:27:58,333 --> 01:28:00,409
Of course.
1012
01:28:03,046 --> 01:28:05,253
Please be very careful.
1013
01:28:10,804 --> 01:28:12,844
(Front door closes)
1014
01:28:31,450 --> 01:28:38,496
(Pup)
♪ Have mercy upon me
1015
01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:46,619
Have mercy upon me
1016
01:28:48,175 --> 01:28:54,972
Blot out my transgressions
1017
01:28:56,350 --> 01:29:03,099
Blot out my transgressions
1018
01:29:04,107 --> 01:29:11,189
Purge me with hyssop...
1019
01:29:13,659 --> 01:29:15,698
Thank you.
1020
01:29:19,706 --> 01:29:26,420
♪Wash me, wash me
1021
01:29:26,505 --> 01:29:34,169
♪And I shall be whiter than snow...
1022
01:29:42,729 --> 01:29:45,351
- Hold him by his hair.
- (Choking, gagging)
1023
01:29:45,440 --> 01:29:47,599
(Mitchel) He hasn't got much hair to hold.
1024
01:29:47,693 --> 01:29:50,012
Disgusting to be that old
and to be her lover.
1025
01:29:50,023 --> 01:29:51,403
(Mews) Same age as you.
1026
01:29:51,488 --> 01:29:56,197
- I'm her husband, not her lover.
- You can only be one and not the other?
1027
01:29:56,285 --> 01:30:02,904
If he'd been younger, I could've understood.
He'd just be a passing fancy. You bastard!
1028
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:07,128
Right, Mitchel, now's your chance.
You are gonna chew bollocks.
1029
01:30:07,212 --> 01:30:09,881
- (Mitchel) He's too old.
- What's that mean?
1030
01:30:09,965 --> 01:30:12,752
He's the same age as me - 40, almost.
1031
01:30:12,843 --> 01:30:15,844
If he was younger
it would've been all right?
1032
01:30:15,929 --> 01:30:20,057
My God. When you're 17, is being 40 old?
1033
01:30:20,142 --> 01:30:23,635
(Mitchel)
He probably hasn't had a bath recently.
1034
01:30:23,646 --> 01:30:27,068
(Laughs)
God, Mitchel, you are a prize mule.
1035
01:30:28,609 --> 01:30:30,648
Well, I mean, certainly...
1036
01:30:30,736 --> 01:30:34,568
- He must've been with Georgina last night.
- No! Shut up.
1037
01:30:34,656 --> 01:30:37,361
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!
1038
01:30:37,451 --> 01:30:39,823
You pissing little worm.
1039
01:30:41,747 --> 01:30:43,988
God, you are an idiot, Mitchel.
1040
01:30:44,082 --> 01:30:48,376
You can be guaranteed
to say the wrong thing at the right time.
1041
01:30:48,462 --> 01:30:52,922
I didn't mean that you literally
had to chew his bollocks off.
1042
01:30:53,008 --> 01:30:55,879
I meant it metaphorically.
1043
01:30:55,969 --> 01:30:58,128
What does that mean, Albert?
1044
01:30:58,221 --> 01:31:01,637
"Jewish Book-keeper Savaged
By Young Sex Maniac."
1045
01:31:01,725 --> 01:31:02,643
(Michael choking)
1046
01:31:02,654 --> 01:31:05,353
I don't want this to
look like a sex murder.
1047
01:31:05,437 --> 01:31:07,227
It's a revenge killing,
1048
01:31:07,238 --> 01:31:10,738
an affair of the heart,
a crime passionnel.
1049
01:31:10,817 --> 01:31:13,244
I want no evil gossip
spread around about me.
1050
01:31:13,255 --> 01:31:14,362
(Gurgling cries)
1051
01:31:14,446 --> 01:31:20,116
They are not going to say... They are going
to say this was a dignified revenge killing.
1052
01:31:20,202 --> 01:31:22,325
They're gonna admire the style.
1053
01:31:22,412 --> 01:31:26,576
"He was stuffed.
And Albert liked good food."
1054
01:31:26,667 --> 01:31:28,074
They might even smile.
1055
01:31:28,085 --> 01:31:31,089
"He was stuffed with
the tools of his trade."
1056
01:31:31,922 --> 01:31:36,999
"He was stuffed with books.
The crummy little book-keeper was..."
1057
01:31:37,094 --> 01:31:41,886
Mitchel, no unnecessary... No unnecessaries.
1058
01:31:43,016 --> 01:31:44,351
Finish him off!
1059
01:31:44,362 --> 01:31:48,365
Shut his mouth, hold his nose,
ram the bloody books down his throat.
1060
01:31:48,438 --> 01:31:50,929
Suffocate the bastard!
1061
01:31:58,115 --> 01:32:00,273
(Georgina) Michael!
1062
01:32:10,252 --> 01:32:11,746
Michael.
1063
01:32:34,943 --> 01:32:39,652
OK, so this is how you eat the crayfish.
First, you snap off the head.
1064
01:32:39,740 --> 01:32:40,938
(Crunching)
1065
01:32:41,033 --> 01:32:43,109
Then you pull out the whiskers,
1066
01:32:43,201 --> 01:32:45,527
then you strip off the legs.
1067
01:32:47,331 --> 01:32:54,413
And then you poke out
the soft part of the body.
1068
01:32:54,504 --> 01:32:58,205
- You turn the light out?
- (Mitchel) What light?
1069
01:32:58,967 --> 01:33:03,676
Idiot. You wouldn't remember to fart.
Place might burn down with all them books.
1070
01:33:03,764 --> 01:33:08,426
- That would nicely destroy the evidence.
- I don't want it destroyed, idiot!
1071
01:33:08,518 --> 01:33:10,345
I want Georgina to see it.
1072
01:34:13,083 --> 01:34:15,241
What did he say?
1073
01:34:15,335 --> 01:34:19,547
The French Revolution
was easier to swallow than Napoleon.
1074
01:34:19,631 --> 01:34:23,380
Napoleon was a prat. He wasted everything,
he threw everything away.
1075
01:34:23,468 --> 01:34:28,843
Napoleon liked seafood.
His favourite dish was oysters Florentine.
1076
01:34:28,932 --> 01:34:32,266
It's amazing, isn't it?
Churchill liked seafood.
1077
01:34:32,352 --> 01:34:36,267
All the great generals were keen on seafood.
1078
01:34:36,356 --> 01:34:39,393
What did Julius Caesar like, or Hitler?
1079
01:34:39,484 --> 01:34:42,853
Hitler liked clams.
And Mussolini liked squid.
1080
01:34:42,946 --> 01:34:45,781
- You're making it up.
- What do you know, Harris?
1081
01:34:45,866 --> 01:34:49,282
- What did the bookseller eat?
- You could tell from his vomit.
1082
01:34:49,369 --> 01:34:53,616
What do I care what he ate?
It all comes out as shit in the end.
1083
01:35:11,141 --> 01:35:13,181
(Sighs)
1084
01:35:13,936 --> 01:35:16,012
I'm so tired.
1085
01:35:19,024 --> 01:35:21,230
I'm going to sleep.
1086
01:35:36,124 --> 01:35:39,125
I've got a lot to tell you in the morning.
1087
01:35:40,295 --> 01:35:42,537
And I want you to listen.
1088
01:35:44,549 --> 01:35:48,132
Somebody should know.
And who can I tell but you?
1089
01:35:52,474 --> 01:35:54,930
And then...
1090
01:35:59,273 --> 01:36:01,598
when I wake up in the morning,
1091
01:36:05,904 --> 01:36:08,146
I want you to kiss me.
1092
01:36:12,578 --> 01:36:14,903
And then I want breakfast.
1093
01:36:16,039 --> 01:36:19,788
Erm, coffee and fresh rolls and butter
1094
01:36:22,337 --> 01:36:24,496
and marmalade.
1095
01:36:25,507 --> 01:36:28,710
And toast.
1096
01:36:29,886 --> 01:36:32,045
And...
1097
01:36:34,099 --> 01:36:36,257
Good night, Michael.
1098
01:36:41,607 --> 01:36:44,014
I'll see you in the morning.
1099
01:36:48,405 --> 01:36:50,528
I love you.
1100
01:36:52,242 --> 01:36:54,769
You shouldn't have done it.
It wasn't worth it.
1101
01:36:54,780 --> 01:36:55,621
You what?
1102
01:36:55,704 --> 01:37:00,081
Georgina wasn't worth it?
How bloody dare you say that?
1103
01:37:00,167 --> 01:37:04,912
Georgina's worth a thousand
snooty little Jewish book-keeping clerks
1104
01:37:05,005 --> 01:37:08,041
who masturbate over the French Revolution.
1105
01:37:08,133 --> 01:37:13,376
The book-keeper will get us into trouble
and he wasn't worth it. Calm down.
1106
01:37:13,472 --> 01:37:18,893
Little circumcised mediocrity
was screwing my wife! I will not calm down!
1107
01:37:18,977 --> 01:37:23,271
I've seen you, Harris, eyeing Georgina,
looking at another man's wife.
1108
01:37:23,357 --> 01:37:27,189
I've seen you watch her skirt fly up
when she got out of the car.
1109
01:37:27,277 --> 01:37:29,815
Yes, I've seen you sniffing her, Harris.
1110
01:37:29,905 --> 01:37:33,404
And to think I ever trusted you with her,
1111
01:37:34,201 --> 01:37:37,534
that I ever trusted you to drive her home
when I was drunk.
1112
01:37:37,621 --> 01:37:40,575
- You get out of this restaurant!
- Calm down.
1113
01:37:40,666 --> 01:37:44,284
Mitchel, get Richard.
I want this man banned. Get out!
1114
01:37:44,378 --> 01:37:47,960
- If you want to shout...
- I can shout in my own restaurant!
1115
01:37:48,048 --> 01:37:51,962
I own this restaurant. Get out! Fuck you!
1116
01:37:53,971 --> 01:37:57,920
Go, you mule! Richard, I'm closing you up.
1117
01:37:58,016 --> 01:38:01,884
- Really?
- You are finished, Richard.
1118
01:38:01,979 --> 01:38:07,400
Allowing decent people to dine
with wife snatchers. You're finished!
1119
01:38:07,484 --> 01:38:09,642
I think not, Mr Spica!
1120
01:38:09,736 --> 01:38:15,241
And if I did, where would you eat?
Who would have you?
1121
01:38:15,325 --> 01:38:20,533
Now, if you'd kindly leave, we can start
clearing up the mess you have made.
1122
01:38:20,622 --> 01:38:25,699
I'm warning you. Tomorrow your restaurant
will be just one big car park.
1123
01:38:25,794 --> 01:38:28,332
- Nothing more.
- I wonder how you will do that.
1124
01:38:28,422 --> 01:38:29,992
A bulldozer, Richard.
1125
01:38:30,003 --> 01:38:33,592
Your cuisine will be
20 feet under brick dust.
1126
01:38:33,677 --> 01:38:37,093
Get out of it, Harris.
You get out of it.
1127
01:38:37,180 --> 01:38:41,178
Go on. I can tell loyalty when I see it.
1128
01:39:06,126 --> 01:39:08,368
Well, Michael,
1129
01:39:10,589 --> 01:39:12,795
you didn't kiss me
1130
01:39:15,010 --> 01:39:17,049
so...
1131
01:39:19,681 --> 01:39:22,599
I suppose I have to make my own breakfast.
1132
01:39:25,812 --> 01:39:27,971
Don't get up yet.
1133
01:39:44,373 --> 01:39:46,496
Well, Michael,
1134
01:39:49,544 --> 01:39:51,621
that's that.
1135
01:39:53,006 --> 01:39:56,506
Short and very sweet.
1136
01:39:59,680 --> 01:40:04,057
Now you're not listening,
I suppose I could tell you about Albert.
1137
01:40:05,185 --> 01:40:10,180
I meant to tell you eventually
but I'd have to know you better because...
1138
01:40:10,274 --> 01:40:12,895
Well, because I'd be so ashamed.
1139
01:40:15,696 --> 01:40:20,239
But it's important that I tell you now
so that I can have done with it.
1140
01:40:26,540 --> 01:40:32,127
Albert beat me. Well, I know you know that.
You saw the bruises.
1141
01:40:33,422 --> 01:40:35,710
He was regular in his habits.
1142
01:40:41,221 --> 01:40:44,886
When we got back from the restaurant,
he'd make me get a hot, wet towel
1143
01:40:44,975 --> 01:40:47,264
and accompany him to the toilet.
1144
01:40:49,438 --> 01:40:51,680
And I'd have to wipe his...
1145
01:40:55,902 --> 01:40:59,069
After I finished, he... he made... Oh...
1146
01:41:03,577 --> 01:41:05,735
Help me, Michael.
1147
01:41:09,416 --> 01:41:14,374
On his side of the bed he had
a suitcase with all kinds of objects in it.
1148
01:41:14,463 --> 01:41:16,669
Er, a toothbrush,
1149
01:41:18,550 --> 01:41:20,709
a wooden spoon,
1150
01:41:24,222 --> 01:41:26,464
a plastic train,
1151
01:41:27,809 --> 01:41:29,849
a wine bottle.
1152
01:41:29,937 --> 01:41:32,143
And he'd use them.
1153
01:41:33,899 --> 01:41:38,608
If I didn't do it whilst he watched,
he'd insist on doing it himself.
1154
01:41:40,322 --> 01:41:43,406
At least when I did it,
it hurt less.
1155
01:41:45,911 --> 01:41:48,974
I don't think he was
very interested in sex -
1156
01:41:48,985 --> 01:41:50,915
not with me, not with women.
1157
01:41:55,170 --> 01:41:57,376
I left him four times.
1158
01:41:59,299 --> 01:42:01,541
I caught the night ferry.
1159
01:42:04,012 --> 01:42:08,092
He and Harris found me in Brussels,
they brought me back.
1160
01:42:09,476 --> 01:42:12,679
On the boat, Albert cried,
bought me presents.
1161
01:42:14,856 --> 01:42:19,602
But then after we landed,
when we got just outside the harbour,
1162
01:42:19,695 --> 01:42:22,482
before the motorway, he stopped the car
1163
01:42:22,572 --> 01:42:25,664
and he and Harris and
Spangler dragged me out
1164
01:42:25,675 --> 01:42:27,624
and stripped me and beat me.
1165
01:42:33,917 --> 01:42:35,957
Michael,
1166
01:42:38,297 --> 01:42:40,503
all this must finish.
1167
01:42:42,593 --> 01:42:45,677
Help me, Michael. Please.
1168
01:42:53,145 --> 01:42:55,268
He's dead.
1169
01:42:57,816 --> 01:43:03,023
They stuffed his mouth with paper
ripped from his favourite book.
1170
01:43:03,113 --> 01:43:06,114
- Could you cook him?
- Cook who, Georgina?
1171
01:43:07,618 --> 01:43:09,657
Michael.
1172
01:43:09,745 --> 01:43:12,532
No. Mon dieu, non.
1173
01:43:15,334 --> 01:43:20,375
You have a reputation
for a wide range of experimental dishes.
1174
01:43:22,799 --> 01:43:25,255
He might taste good.
1175
01:43:25,344 --> 01:43:27,585
I'm sure he would taste good.
1176
01:43:27,679 --> 01:43:30,135
What would taste best?
1177
01:43:30,223 --> 01:43:33,474
His heart? His liver?
1178
01:43:33,560 --> 01:43:36,312
The cheeks of his backside?
1179
01:43:36,396 --> 01:43:39,848
(Laughs) His prairie oysters?
1180
01:43:42,444 --> 01:43:44,602
Georgina,
1181
01:43:44,696 --> 01:43:46,772
sit down.
1182
01:43:48,075 --> 01:43:50,151
Sit down.
1183
01:43:52,913 --> 01:43:56,412
When you make out a menu,
how do you price each dish?
1184
01:43:59,253 --> 01:44:02,419
I charge a lot for anything black.
1185
01:44:02,506 --> 01:44:06,669
Grapes, olives, blackcurrants.
1186
01:44:09,805 --> 01:44:12,759
People like to remind themselves of death,
1187
01:44:13,642 --> 01:44:17,592
eating black food is like consuming death,
1188
01:44:18,730 --> 01:44:25,528
like saying, "Death, I'm eating you."
1189
01:44:25,612 --> 01:44:29,859
Black truffles are the most expensive.
And caviar.
1190
01:44:31,785 --> 01:44:34,241
Death and birth.
1191
01:44:35,539 --> 01:44:38,374
The end and the beginning.
1192
01:44:39,668 --> 01:44:44,875
Don't you think it's appropriate
that the most expensive items are black?
1193
01:44:48,719 --> 01:44:51,044
We also charge for vanity.
1194
01:44:52,139 --> 01:44:55,140
Diet foods have an additional surcharge
1195
01:44:56,560 --> 01:44:58,967
of 30%,
1196
01:44:59,855 --> 01:45:02,772
Aphrodisiacs, 50%.
1197
01:45:02,858 --> 01:45:08,018
And from what I saw,
your lover did not need an aphrodisiac.
1198
01:45:08,947 --> 01:45:12,815
What did you see? I want to know.
1199
01:45:13,994 --> 01:45:16,033
Nobody knew but you.
1200
01:45:16,997 --> 01:45:20,496
Everyone pitied me. Even you pitied me.
1201
01:45:20,584 --> 01:45:24,498
And how can I know that he loved me
if there were no witnesses?
1202
01:45:25,839 --> 01:45:31,046
If you loved him, that does not seem
to be a very necessary question.
1203
01:45:31,136 --> 01:45:34,256
Yes, it does! Tell me what you know!
1204
01:45:37,517 --> 01:45:40,518
What I saw was what you let me see.
1205
01:45:43,106 --> 01:45:45,146
Of course it was.
1206
01:45:46,068 --> 01:45:50,694
How could I know that it was real
unless someone else was watching?
1207
01:45:53,075 --> 01:45:55,281
Tell me what you saw.
1208
01:45:56,286 --> 01:45:58,611
Or are you ashamed to tell me?
1209
01:46:02,417 --> 01:46:04,659
No.
1210
01:46:04,753 --> 01:46:07,125
I saw him kissing you
1211
01:46:09,258 --> 01:46:11,380
on the mouth,
1212
01:46:13,553 --> 01:46:15,676
on the neck,
1213
01:46:16,515 --> 01:46:18,673
behind your ear.
1214
01:46:22,437 --> 01:46:24,845
I saw him undressing you.
1215
01:46:29,486 --> 01:46:31,775
I saw him kissing your breasts.
1216
01:46:35,701 --> 01:46:39,568
I saw him put his hand between your legs.
1217
01:46:41,999 --> 01:46:44,371
And what did you see me do?
1218
01:46:48,088 --> 01:46:50,246
I saw you kiss him on the mouth.
1219
01:46:54,511 --> 01:46:58,972
I saw you lying under him
on the floor of the pantry.
1220
01:47:02,477 --> 01:47:05,728
I saw him take you from behind.
1221
01:47:10,402 --> 01:47:14,234
I saw you take his penis in your mouth.
1222
01:47:17,492 --> 01:47:19,865
I saw you...
1223
01:47:36,970 --> 01:47:39,592
Do lovers always behave like that?
1224
01:47:44,561 --> 01:47:47,681
My parents behaved like that.
1225
01:47:47,773 --> 01:47:49,812
They did?
1226
01:47:49,900 --> 01:47:54,361
- You saw them?
- And lovers in the cinema behave like that.
1227
01:47:54,446 --> 01:47:56,569
No, that doesn't count.
1228
01:47:56,657 --> 01:48:01,615
And in my fantasies,
lovers always behave like that.
1229
01:48:01,703 --> 01:48:04,490
Were you jealous?
1230
01:48:04,581 --> 01:48:06,788
Did we make you jealous?
1231
01:48:08,085 --> 01:48:10,291
Did you want to join us?
1232
01:48:11,421 --> 01:48:15,004
- If you did, help me now.
- Georgina, no.
1233
01:48:15,092 --> 01:48:20,466
In memory of us making love in your kitchen
and in your fantasies, help me now.
1234
01:48:20,555 --> 01:48:23,225
No.
1235
01:48:23,308 --> 01:48:27,436
In memory of your parents making love,
help me now.
1236
01:48:27,521 --> 01:48:29,560
Georgina, no!
1237
01:48:30,524 --> 01:48:33,145
People I like learn my name too late.
1238
01:48:34,653 --> 01:48:36,895
Too late?
1239
01:48:38,115 --> 01:48:40,321
Cook Michael for me.
1240
01:48:40,409 --> 01:48:42,448
No.
1241
01:48:43,537 --> 01:48:46,206
This was his favourite restaurant.
1242
01:48:47,207 --> 01:48:49,330
It's also mine.
1243
01:48:50,335 --> 01:48:52,494
Cook Michael for me.
1244
01:48:54,006 --> 01:48:56,876
If I did,
1245
01:48:56,967 --> 01:48:59,968
who would ever eat here again?
1246
01:49:04,141 --> 01:49:06,513
How can I make you change your mind?
1247
01:49:10,063 --> 01:49:13,764
Do you want to make love with me?
You can do what he did.
1248
01:49:17,529 --> 01:49:19,818
How can I persuade you?
1249
01:49:20,616 --> 01:49:22,988
You can't. You may have loved him...
1250
01:49:23,076 --> 01:49:25,650
You know I did, you saw me.
1251
01:49:27,247 --> 01:49:30,284
But you don't have to eat him, Georgina.
1252
01:49:30,375 --> 01:49:35,121
Do you... do you have some idea
that by eating him
1253
01:49:35,213 --> 01:49:37,669
he can become part of you?
1254
01:49:37,758 --> 01:49:42,254
You can't believe that by eating him
you can always be together!
1255
01:49:43,221 --> 01:49:45,428
I'm not eating him.
1256
01:49:48,518 --> 01:49:51,519
- Albert is.
- Albert?
1257
01:49:56,318 --> 01:49:58,856
There's £11,000. It's Michael's.
1258
01:50:06,411 --> 01:50:08,653
Put your money away.
1259
01:50:15,462 --> 01:50:17,620
Where is he?
1260
01:50:29,351 --> 01:50:31,474
(Georgina moaning)
1261
01:50:54,001 --> 01:50:56,124
(Georgina crying)
1262
01:51:08,765 --> 01:51:10,805
(Hollow banging)
1263
01:51:59,399 --> 01:52:01,475
(Banging on glass)
1264
01:52:03,362 --> 01:52:05,520
What's going on here?
1265
01:52:05,614 --> 01:52:09,825
Why do I suddenly have to come in
to my own restaurant like a stranger?
1266
01:52:09,910 --> 01:52:12,068
Special invitations.
1267
01:52:13,121 --> 01:52:16,537
Which I might say
could've gone to a better printer.
1268
01:52:16,625 --> 01:52:19,330
I have to bang on the door like an outcast.
1269
01:52:21,129 --> 01:52:23,169
Well, well, well.
1270
01:52:23,257 --> 01:52:28,381
Georgina Duckles.
What brings you here, you bitch?
1271
01:52:29,263 --> 01:52:32,845
I'm very surprised
you show your face here, you slut.
1272
01:52:32,933 --> 01:52:36,800
Where you been? Albert has been frantic.
1273
01:52:36,895 --> 01:52:39,517
Shut up, Grace. Find me a drink.
1274
01:52:39,606 --> 01:52:43,853
- Happy anniversary, Albert.
- I'll bloody kill you for what you did!
1275
01:52:43,944 --> 01:52:47,562
- You should find that easy.
- Don't think I'm taking you back.
1276
01:52:47,656 --> 01:52:49,814
I'll make you pay, you slut.
1277
01:52:49,908 --> 01:52:53,526
Your bottom's going to be
very, very sore for weeks.
1278
01:52:54,621 --> 01:52:58,951
No more books for you, girl.
You're staying in under lock and key.
1279
01:52:59,042 --> 01:53:03,751
There's going to be no more books
or prick-sniffing for you, girl.
1280
01:53:05,215 --> 01:53:07,623
Happy anniversary, Albert.
1281
01:53:07,718 --> 01:53:11,550
What are you talking about?
It's not my birthday.
1282
01:53:11,638 --> 01:53:15,837
No, but it's an anniversary
that I shall always celebrate,
1283
01:53:15,848 --> 01:53:18,267
even if you won't.
And you won't.
1284
01:53:18,353 --> 01:53:23,099
- What? Where is everybody?
- They'll be here presently.
1285
01:53:23,191 --> 01:53:25,896
- Look, Georgina.
- What?
1286
01:53:25,986 --> 01:53:29,604
- It's all over now.
- What is?
1287
01:53:29,698 --> 01:53:33,067
- Grace, just go and look out of a window.
- Oh.
1288
01:53:33,160 --> 01:53:35,567
Mitchel, bugger off out of it.
1289
01:53:35,662 --> 01:53:38,747
Look, Georgina, when the others arrive...
1290
01:53:38,832 --> 01:53:41,916
Where are they?
The invitation says nine o'clock.
1291
01:53:42,002 --> 01:53:45,620
- Where are they gonna sit?
- They'll be here presently.
1292
01:53:45,714 --> 01:53:49,759
Look, Georgina, you didn't...
didn't really like him, did you?
1293
01:53:49,843 --> 01:53:55,050
I mean, how could you like
a bloody book-keeper, a nobody?
1294
01:53:56,099 --> 01:54:00,845
I tell you what. I'll try...
We'll forget it, eh?
1295
01:54:01,688 --> 01:54:04,358
Eh? Come home with me.
1296
01:54:04,441 --> 01:54:08,818
Tell you the truth, Georgie,
I've been a bit miserable.
1297
01:54:08,904 --> 01:54:13,032
- Since it is your anniversary...
- What bloody anniversary?
1298
01:54:13,116 --> 01:54:15,156
I've brought you a present.
1299
01:54:15,244 --> 01:54:18,944
I don't need presents.
It's me who gives you presents.
1300
01:54:19,039 --> 01:54:22,788
Besides, you've never had
the money to give me presents.
1301
01:54:22,876 --> 01:54:25,284
And Richard has cooked it for you.
1302
01:54:26,296 --> 01:54:29,048
- Under my instructions.
- Oh?
1303
01:54:29,132 --> 01:54:31,208
Knowing how you like to eat.
1304
01:54:32,261 --> 01:54:35,012
Knowing how you like to gorge yourself.
1305
01:54:36,181 --> 01:54:39,431
And we've brought a few
of your friends around.
1306
01:55:45,834 --> 01:55:48,621
(Albert)
What sort of party is this, Georgie?
1307
01:55:50,339 --> 01:55:53,873
- What's going on?
- Sit down, Albert.
1308
01:55:54,968 --> 01:55:57,175
Can't I sit down, Georgina?
1309
01:55:57,262 --> 01:55:59,718
No, this is Albert's special treat.
1310
01:56:01,850 --> 01:56:07,686
- Here, I'm not eating with that Roy there.
- Shut up, Albert.
1311
01:56:09,691 --> 01:56:12,099
You're here to enjoy yourself.
1312
01:56:23,121 --> 01:56:25,161
Georgie.
1313
01:56:41,598 --> 01:56:43,840
Jesus!
1314
01:56:43,934 --> 01:56:45,428
God.
1315
01:56:49,523 --> 01:56:53,141
(Georgina)
No, it's not God, Albert. It's Michael.
1316
01:56:54,861 --> 01:56:56,901
My lover.
1317
01:56:57,906 --> 01:57:00,991
You vowed you would kill him, and you did.
1318
01:57:02,995 --> 01:57:05,367
And you vowed you would eat him.
1319
01:57:07,082 --> 01:57:09,407
Now eat him.
1320
01:57:11,295 --> 01:57:13,453
What's the matter?
1321
01:57:13,547 --> 01:57:17,295
You have your knife and fork.
You do know how to use them.
1322
01:57:17,426 --> 01:57:21,803
Or have all those carefully-learnt
table manners gone to waste?
1323
01:57:32,899 --> 01:57:35,569
Mitchel can pour you a drink.
1324
01:57:38,697 --> 01:57:40,820
(Mitchel whimpers)
1325
01:57:42,993 --> 01:57:45,698
Your waiter has opted out.
1326
01:57:45,787 --> 01:57:48,741
Er, Grace will pour for you.
1327
01:57:48,832 --> 01:57:50,872
Oh.
1328
01:57:54,046 --> 01:57:56,334
- Non, monsieur!
- Yah!
1329
01:58:14,816 --> 01:58:17,354
Eat, Albert.
1330
01:58:18,695 --> 01:58:21,103
Roy, pour Albert a drink.
1331
01:58:57,985 --> 01:59:02,647
Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy.
1332
01:59:03,574 --> 01:59:05,981
And you know where it's been.
1333
01:59:09,538 --> 01:59:11,577
(Grunting)
1334
01:59:42,321 --> 01:59:44,527
(Georgina) Go on, Albert.
1335
01:59:45,490 --> 01:59:47,530
Eat.
1336
02:00:05,344 --> 02:00:07,467
Bon appétit.
1337
02:00:09,890 --> 02:00:12,013
It's French.
1338
02:00:39,169 --> 02:00:41,209
Cannibal.
1339
02:03:50,152 --> 02:03:51,694
English SDH