1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:01,802 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,104 - Ready, set, go nowhere. 3 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:05,706 "AFV" is on. 4 00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,408 ♪ 5 00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:10,644 [laughter] 6 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,450 - [grunts] - [laughs] 7 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,123 - Ready? - Yeah. 8 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:31,131 - Welcome to "America's Funniest Home Videos." 9 00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:34,234 And now here he is, the host of our show, 10 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:40,007 Alfonso Ribeiro. 11 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,174 - Let's do this, y'all. 12 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:45,045 [cheers and applause] 13 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,214 All right, hi. 14 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,615 Thank you. Thank you. 15 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,350 Yes. 16 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:51,585 Welcome to the show. 17 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:54,221 Tonight's episode is a real barn burner. 18 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,622 Well, that makes it sound like 19 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,124 we'll be burning barns, which we're not, 20 00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:59,993 so let's just say it's a real humdinger. 21 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,862 But actually-- actually, we won't be 22 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:02,963 dinging any hums either. 23 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,264 You know, how about this? 24 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,300 Tonight's show is all that and a bag of chips, 25 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,036 as long as you provide the chips, OK? 26 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,637 Because first prize is 20 grand now. 27 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:14,107 We can't be paying for snacks too, OK? 28 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:15,742 - Easy on the turn, though. 29 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,944 Hold! Hold! 30 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,980 [both screaming] 31 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:27,421 - Someone wishes this was a one-cat house. 32 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:31,458 [cat screeches] [laughter] 33 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,993 - Hello. 34 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,228 I need directions here. 35 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,597 Yes. 36 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,832 Caldeiras, is it this way? 37 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,200 This way? [bell dings] 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,003 Oh, that way? OK. Thank you very much. 39 00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,404 - What's the matter? 40 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,506 - I want more pancakes. 41 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,108 - Calvin, they're all gone. 42 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,443 - No! 43 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:52,346 Come on! 44 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,449 I just--quiet. 45 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,117 You stop it. 46 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,186 Stop. Stop. 47 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:01,254 I want more pancakes. 48 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,489 - They're all gone. 49 00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:03,957 - I want more pancakes. 50 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,158 - You ate them all. 51 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,426 - Oh! 52 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,896 Come on, guys. 53 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:12,866 - She was too cheap to spring for the two-ply. 54 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,869 - [laughing] 55 00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:19,806 - Last jump, everyone. 56 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,342 - All right. Rosie, let's jump. 57 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,145 Jump, jump, jump. - Rosie's going way out there. 58 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,546 - Hey! 59 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,019 - Yes. 60 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:35,822 Oh, my God. I busted mine, so-- 61 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,492 - What a fancy-looking cocktail. 62 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,927 Be a shame if something happened to it. 63 00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,362 - Ooh, Adrianne. 64 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:44,931 [laughs] - [screams] 65 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,037 - Wendy, were you in the bathroom earlier? 66 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,506 - Yeah, I doing my hair. 67 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:56,777 - Were you messing with my hair products in the bathroom? 68 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,111 - Uh-huh. 69 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,646 - OK. 70 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,752 Well, it looks like you did a real good job there. 71 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,789 [cheers and applause] 72 00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:12,159 - Get ready to boop some snoots. 73 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,227 We're going to the dog park. 74 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,296 [dogs barking] 75 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:20,333 - You're getting very sleepy. 76 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,903 Sleepy. 77 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,007 Want to go for a walk? 78 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,876 You're getting very sleepy. 79 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:33,780 You're getting very sleepy. 80 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,918 Feel your eyes getting heavier. 81 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,387 Heavier. 82 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,355 Heavier. 83 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,357 But then you go for a walk. 84 00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:49,596 ♪ 85 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,532 - He'll be taking that pizza to go. 86 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:12,319 Well, this was a poorly-waged counterattack. 87 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:26,032 There's no way he can get that through the doggy door. 88 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,642 Unless he calls his branch manager. 89 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,050 - Oh, he closed it. Oh, sort of! 90 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,786 [laughs] 91 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,822 [laughter, applause] 92 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,030 - What flavor is that biscuit, Jurassic pork? 93 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,940 - Oh, my God. 94 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,341 Which one of you guys did this? 95 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:09,442 - Who got in the flour? 96 00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,178 - Was it you? 97 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,213 Or was it you? [laughs] 98 00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,916 - Yogi, what did you do? 99 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,284 Come on. 100 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:20,620 - OK, so this is DD's chew toy. 101 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:24,024 So you can see, she doesn't chew anything else 102 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,792 but this arm right here, like, 103 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,428 as if wanting to take it off. 104 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:29,629 I don't understand why. 105 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:33,633 DD, can you please explain that to me? 106 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,468 Ooh. 107 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:38,505 [laughter, applause] 108 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,742 - It's time for ladies' night on "AFV." 109 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:44,511 OK, not really ladies' night, 110 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,813 but it is nothing but ladies, ladies, ladies 111 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:49,149 for the next minute or so. 112 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:52,652 - ♪ It's a lovely day today 113 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,856 ♪ So whatever you've got to do ♪ 114 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,793 ♪ You've got a lovely day to do it in ♪ 115 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,729 ♪ That's true 116 00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:06,299 ♪ And I hope whatever you've got to do ♪ 117 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:10,270 ♪ Is something that can be done by two ♪ 118 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:16,309 ♪ For I'd really like to stay ♪ 119 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,779 ♪ It's a lovely day today 120 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,047 - [screams] 121 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,149 - ♪ And whatever you've got to do ♪ 122 00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:30,023 ♪ I'd be so happy to be doing it with you ♪ 123 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:33,793 ♪ But if you've got something that must be done ♪ 124 00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:37,697 ♪ And it can only be done by one ♪ 125 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:43,570 ♪ There is nothing more to say ♪ 126 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,774 ♪ Except it's a lovely day for saying ♪ 127 00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:50,777 ♪ It's a lovely day 128 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:57,284 ♪ 129 00:06:57,284 --> 00:07:01,554 ♪ Except it's a lovely day for saying ♪ 130 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:04,124 ♪ It's a lovely day 131 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:08,395 ♪ Except it's a lovely day for saying ♪ 132 00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:13,700 ♪ It's a lovely day 133 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:18,204 [cheers and applause] 134 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,141 - Do you have a funny video worth $20,000? 135 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,375 What are you waiting for? 136 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,411 Upload it to AFV.com. 137 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:36,156 [upbeat music] 138 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,692 - They say, if you can't spot the sucker 139 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,894 in the first half hour at the poker table, 140 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:41,962 then you're the sucker. 141 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,097 Well, in this next bonehead package, 142 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,866 if you can't spot the bonehead within the first ten seconds, 143 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:50,670 then you just gonna have to look harder, OK? 144 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,339 Because I'm not gonna call you a bonehead, 145 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,474 unless you send a video that proves you are. 146 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,377 Then I'm more than happy to. [laughter] 147 00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,179 - All right, let's go, Richard. 148 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,317 - The ball is gonna go nice and straight. 149 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,585 - Oh! 150 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,020 - But he hooked the club. 151 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,788 - There goes the club. 152 00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:12,459 The club--the club went out. 153 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,894 - Dad knows a lot about T-ball, 154 00:08:14,894 --> 00:08:17,130 except where to stand. 155 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,732 - Oh! 156 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:19,733 - Ow. 157 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:20,734 - Sorry. 158 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,402 - Sorry. 159 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:29,442 ♪ 160 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,084 - Half a ramp? 161 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:41,221 That's not enough to get the car down. 162 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,290 However, it will be enough to get his buddy down. 163 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:58,705 - [laughs] - Oh, Bill, will you ever win? 164 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,306 - Oh, Bill! 165 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,143 - Ow. - What the hell? 166 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,645 [dance music playing] 167 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,982 - That backup dancer should back up. 168 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,651 [dog barking] 169 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:14,687 [laughter] 170 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,428 Being tall is good, 171 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,096 except when it's not. 172 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,099 [upbeat music] 173 00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,535 ♪ 174 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,037 - The sweaty guys. - The first round. 175 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,839 Oh, no. 176 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:36,009 [glass shattering] [laughter] 177 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:46,152 - He's taking out the trash when it's 10 degrees outside. 178 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,888 This makes way more sense than pants and a jacket. 179 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:52,058 - It's cold! 180 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,728 Ah, yeah. 181 00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:58,064 I tripped. 182 00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,199 [laughs] 183 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,501 I can't... 184 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:04,170 [groaning] - Seriously? 185 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,705 Are you OK? - Yeah. 186 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,706 - Just gonna stand here forever. 187 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,508 - They're trying to piggyback, 188 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:11,511 but it's not his back he needs to worry about. 189 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:14,280 - [grunts] - [laughing] 190 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,149 - What happened? 191 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,022 - She's hoping making videos like this 192 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:26,392 will help open some doors. 193 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,760 - Ah! 194 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,235 - It's time for Versus. 195 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,137 Join us as old folks on transports 196 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,206 with wheels that go spinny take on tiny little mammals 197 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,742 that are long, cute, and skinny. 198 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,077 [bell dings] 199 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,679 Tonight on Versus, Seniors on Scooters 200 00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:48,915 versus Meerkats Being Weird. 201 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,518 The seniors are up first, 202 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,887 and this one gets snubbed by the pub. 203 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,624 The meerkats are next, 204 00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,393 and they're ready to rock and roll. 205 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,230 I can't promise a runaway victory, 206 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:07,233 but I can promise a runaway scooter. 207 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,836 Run, scooter, run. 208 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:12,071 This meerkat refuses to be left alone, 209 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,940 so he pokes you in the phone. 210 00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,577 Grandpa rides a scooter like a champ, 211 00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,647 but he's got a little too much speed for that ramp. 212 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:24,317 This fluffy guy acts like a boss. 213 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,287 One wrong move, and he's down the crevasse. 214 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,157 Out in the hall is where geezers will fall. 215 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:38,865 Meerkats can be pushy when they show you their tushy. 216 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:44,871 Ooh, the seniors are going for the "Supermarket Sweep." 217 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,807 Is it enough? 218 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,342 And the winner is... 219 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,177 [bell dinging] 220 00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,313 Seniors On Scooters. 221 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:59,686 Join us next time when the Rolling Fogies take on... 222 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:04,557 Cowboys in Port-a-Potties, on Versus. 223 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,992 - Where's Papa? 224 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,161 - Oh, there he is. 225 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,800 - There's nothing funny about gas prices. 226 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,468 Oddly enough, that's exactly what makes 227 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,537 this practical joke played by a daughter 228 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,006 on her father so very funny. 229 00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:23,042 [line ringing] 230 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,349 - Something's wrong with my car. 231 00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,385 - I don't know, I just put gas in it, 232 00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:34,387 and it's, like, making weird noises, 233 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,555 and I don't know what's wrong with it. 234 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:38,558 I got the new Christmas edition gas. 235 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,460 It was, like, $7 a gallon. 236 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,301 Huh? 237 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,437 - I got gas-- why are you talking like that? 238 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,439 I got gas, and now my-- 239 00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,778 - It's the new Christmas edition gas, 240 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,713 the green nozzle. 241 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,951 - The green nozzle 242 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,819 that the gas stations have for Christmas. 243 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:11,724 - No, it's not. 244 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,927 - OK, well, I guess I put diesel in my car then, 245 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,162 and my car's messed up right now. 246 00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:17,530 How can I fix it? 247 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,201 - Are you serious? 248 00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,541 - OK, well, there's, like, smoke coming out of my exhaust. 249 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,280 - Well, where am I supposed to go? 250 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,718 - All right, I'm pulling over at the movies. 251 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,856 - I'm not joking. 252 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,761 - I didn't know it was diesel. I thought it was for-- 253 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,733 I didn't know it was diesel. 254 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:56,135 I thought it was the new Christmas gas. 255 00:13:57,403 --> 00:14:00,440 [laughter] 256 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,576 - It's green. 257 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,186 I'm getting off here. You done pissed me off. 258 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,356 [upbeat music] 259 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,959 ♪ 260 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,496 [upbeat music] 261 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,232 - Do you ever feel like you caused something to happen 262 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,000 by saying the exact opposite thing 263 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,402 is about to occur? 264 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,771 Now, I'm not saying there's such a thing as a jinx, 265 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:34,140 but the universe seems to be in payback mode 266 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,576 more often than you thinks. 267 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,810 Listen up. 268 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,079 It's time for Can I Quote You On That? 269 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:42,448 - Look, I know how to spin. 270 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:43,883 - No, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop. 271 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,585 - No, no, no, I like this. I like this. 272 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,819 This feels good. 273 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:47,887 - No, stop! 274 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,188 You're gonna fall! 275 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,256 - Get off. 276 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,358 Look. 277 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,096 - Hit it. 278 00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,266 [shattering] 279 00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,601 - Oh, my gosh. 280 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,072 Oh, no. 281 00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:09,108 [game ticking] 282 00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:15,114 [laughter] 283 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,282 - Oh, this--oh, never mind. 284 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,351 - Oh. [llama spits] 285 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,385 [both scream] 286 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,554 - He did. Baby, that was perfect. 287 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,767 I'm OK. 288 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,935 - Ooh. 289 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,936 Yeah. 290 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,137 - Go. 291 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,177 - Ow! [laughter] 292 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,116 - Pets, we love those little bundles of fur, 293 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,651 but sometimes, let's face it, 294 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,653 they can be real pains in the tush. 295 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,288 So join us for something we call 296 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,657 When Pets Become Pests. 297 00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:00,326 [quirky music] 298 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:03,029 - Thinking about it. 299 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,131 You're thinking about it, huh? 300 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,135 - What did you do to Daddy's pillow? 301 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:12,038 Huh? 302 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,806 Let's see. Let's go over here. 303 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,975 I'm going to turn the light on. 304 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,410 Hmm. 305 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,945 - She's happier than a pig 306 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,080 in a giant mess she just created. 307 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,816 - Was that you? 308 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,085 [pig snorting] 309 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,229 - Oh, really? 310 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:41,000 - He's a parrot and a stool pigeon. 311 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,135 [parrot squawks] 312 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,971 - Oh, and you told him to go away? 313 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,339 [squawks] 314 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,941 Oh, OK. 315 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,344 [squawks] 316 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,579 Oh, the other bird was being bad? 317 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,352 - Oh, I see. OK. 318 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,354 - Follow after me 319 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,459 - Those chickens belong in the coop. 320 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,161 And what rhymes with coop? 321 00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:12,031 - Oh, eww! 322 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,368 - Bruno knows he's not supposed to be on the couch. 323 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,804 Mom didn't say anything about not eating the couch. 324 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,306 - Bruno. 325 00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,708 Bruno! 326 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,044 Stop. 327 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,879 Stop it now. 328 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,517 Stop. 329 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,356 - Stop it. 330 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:38,958 Come on. 331 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,427 Oh, I gotta play. It's time to play. 332 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,062 Let me go seven. 333 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,830 - Cats are keen hunters. 334 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,732 - All right. - And sore losers. 335 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,268 - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6--ahh! 336 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,770 7. 337 00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:55,608 - Being a social media influencer 338 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,710 can be extremely lucrative. 339 00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,079 Just know that you're competing against hundreds of thousands 340 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,681 of other talented influencers, 341 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,616 so the odds are stacked against you. 342 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,252 But if you just, you know, want to get on TV, 343 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,888 you're not that great, yeah, I like your chances. 344 00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:10,723 I really do. 345 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:13,259 - I'm going to be-- what's up, guys? 346 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,961 I'm going to be making banana bread. 347 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,829 So first, you're going to need a smasher 348 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:20,266 and bananas and a bowl. 349 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:25,071 So let's get mashing. 350 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,907 A little hard because... 351 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:39,418 I think I was supposed to take the skin out. 352 00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:42,455 - My name is Jackson. [laughter] 353 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,894 - So... [goose honks] 354 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,896 As you can see... [goose honking] 355 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,034 I can't get a word in. [goose honking] 356 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,669 - It's hard to be an influencer 357 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:59,639 when your goose won't let you get a word in edgewise. 358 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,042 [goose honking] 359 00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,045 - This is--this is-- 360 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:09,015 this is my life, see? [goose honks] 361 00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,282 - Hello. 362 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,184 - Here's why you don't do your vlog 363 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,520 right after you've eaten a burrito. 364 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,556 [farting repeatedly] 365 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,369 [laughter and applause] 366 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,277 The weather in my head right now is partly genius 367 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:41,013 with a chance of brainstorms. 368 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,516 Time to drink in exactly what I'm thinking. 369 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,451 It's Here's A Thought. 370 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:48,487 [mysterious music] 371 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:49,755 Here's a thought. 372 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:52,425 When your wife is using her foot to open a door, 373 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,827 get off your butt and help. 374 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,774 Parenting advice-- if you're thinking 375 00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:12,912 of drinking a milkshake without sharing, don't. 376 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,948 [baby cooing] 377 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,719 - [chuckles] 378 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:29,128 - Life pro tip--learn to enjoy your burger without condiments 379 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,831 so the rest of us can have some. 380 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,867 [indistinct chatter] 381 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,840 - [laughs] Are you videoing her? 382 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,048 - Yeah. 383 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,751 Lesson I've learned-- if your crazy uncle Harvey 384 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:56,021 asks to borrow your Styrofoam glider, say no. 385 00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,227 - Yes! 386 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,230 Yes! Yes! 387 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:07,233 [upbeat music] 388 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,868 ♪ 389 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,674 - These days, there are so many shows on so many channels 390 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:18,778 and streaming services that "AFV" is one of the few 391 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,447 so-called watercooler shows we have left. 392 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,083 Of course, knowing "AFV" fans, there's a good chance 393 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,652 someone will accidentally knock over the watercooler 394 00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:29,355 and completely soak everyone in the kitchen. 395 00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,290 [laughter] 396 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,825 Why am I saying that like it's a bad thing? 397 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,894 What am I, new? 398 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:39,098 Whatever virtual world he's in doesn't have little kids. 399 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,802 - Oh! [laughter] 400 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,171 - It's him! I found him! 401 00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:47,940 - The great thing about being obsessed with the garbage man 402 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,543 is you can get excited every garbage day. 403 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,911 - Here he comes. Here he comes. 404 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:53,179 There he is! 405 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,880 Garbage man right there! 406 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,049 He's doing it today! 407 00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:05,191 The lid opened! 408 00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:06,826 Yay! 409 00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,894 He's doing it! 410 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,096 [dog barks] 411 00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,965 - The only way this egg is going to stare-- 412 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:17,736 stay on each other's head is by your thought to him, OK, 413 00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,171 and your thought to her. 414 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,439 Concentrate. Ready? 415 00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:21,540 - Stare at that egg, Kate, 416 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:22,708 and say, "Don't fall, don't fall." 417 00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:23,909 - Don't fall. Don't fall. Don't fall. 418 00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,144 - In your head. - No, you don't say it. 419 00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:27,546 Ready? Ready? 420 00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,348 This egg will not fall off your head. 421 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,816 Do you believe it? 422 00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:32,451 Do you believe it? - Yeah. 423 00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:35,054 - Good. [laughter] 424 00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:38,090 [dog bellowing] 425 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,362 - If only the string were a little bit longer 426 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,065 or he was a little better at geometry. 427 00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,267 [dog bellowing] 428 00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:50,336 - Are you ready to get out of the pool? 429 00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:51,837 - No. - Is it cold? 430 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:53,839 - No. Avery, is it cold? 431 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:54,907 - Uh-uh. 432 00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:56,842 - Is it warm? - Yeah. 433 00:22:56,842 --> 00:22:59,745 I just chatter my teeth. 434 00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:03,349 And my lips are blue 'cause I just-- 435 00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:05,117 - I touchdown! - Your lips-- 436 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,553 - Because I watch today. 437 00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,088 - Oh. So your lips are blue 438 00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:10,689 because you did something else today? 439 00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:13,225 - Yeah. - Auntie. My mermaid Gracie. 440 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:15,261 - [laughs] Is it cold? 441 00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:16,595 - Uh-uh. - No. 442 00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:18,330 - Then why are you guys shaking? 443 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,401 - Because you're excited. [laughs] 444 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,402 - Yeah. - Oh. 445 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,971 OK, Josie, are you excited? 446 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,940 [laughs] 447 00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:31,877 - No! No! No! No! No! 448 00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:33,579 - Oh, just give him the bucket. 449 00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,848 - No! - Drive! 450 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:38,550 [shrieks] 451 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,059 - Hey, Alfonso! 452 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:51,297 both: Hey, Alfonso, we want more videos 453 00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:54,166 of people falling down. 454 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:56,602 [mock screaming] 455 00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,371 - OK, Gia and Livi, you want more falling videos? 456 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,607 Sure. 457 00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,742 Yeah, I was--I was going to do a whole, like, thing 458 00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:05,144 where I did, like, a big pratfall 459 00:24:05,144 --> 00:24:06,478 and hit the floor and-- 460 00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:09,181 but then I thought, yeah, I'm in a really nice suit. 461 00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:13,786 And I'm 50--plus. 462 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,028 Honey, I've got dinner. 463 00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:30,069 - [gasps] 464 00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:31,637 [child giggling] 465 00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:33,973 - I did, like, a belly flop. 466 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,508 Ow. 467 00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,845 - I'm not saying stuff like this has an age limit, 468 00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:41,046 but I might as well. 469 00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,949 - There goes Papa. - Ooh. 470 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:45,851 - Oh, my God, Papa! 471 00:24:45,851 --> 00:24:47,353 [laughs] 472 00:24:47,353 --> 00:24:50,189 - I'm not sure what he's trying to do, 473 00:24:50,189 --> 00:24:52,958 but I'm pretty sure it wasn't this. 474 00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:55,828 [clanging] 475 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,697 Dad stands up, dog moves Dad's chair. 476 00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:05,571 - Ah! 477 00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:09,041 - Does this count as falling up or falling down? 478 00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:11,143 - [groaning] - You OK? 479 00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:13,479 - Yeah, I'm OK. Thank you. 480 00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:15,280 [quirky music] 481 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,150 - Let's play a little game called Klutz Roulette. 482 00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:20,052 Who do you think is going down? 483 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:21,353 - We're leaving. 484 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:30,062 - Close. 485 00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:32,831 - Oh, God, no! [grunting] 486 00:25:32,831 --> 00:25:34,833 - We have a winner! 487 00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,001 - [laughs] 488 00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,369 - Or a loser. 489 00:25:43,409 --> 00:25:46,545 The other day, my wife said, "That person is not 490 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,147 the brightest tool in the shed," 491 00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:50,249 instead of sharpest tool in the shed. 492 00:25:50,249 --> 00:25:52,051 You know what I said to her? 493 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:53,519 Nothing. OK? 494 00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:54,920 Because I've been married for a while 495 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,456 and I know when to keep my big mouth shut, OK? 496 00:25:57,456 --> 00:25:58,557 So here are some people. 497 00:25:58,557 --> 00:25:59,925 Some are bright, some are sharp, 498 00:25:59,925 --> 00:26:02,561 but none of them are in a shed. 499 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,564 [upbeat music] 500 00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,800 ♪ 501 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,836 She does not want you snacking between meals. 502 00:26:11,970 --> 00:26:13,772 - Oh, my gosh. 503 00:26:13,772 --> 00:26:15,908 - What was that? 504 00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,776 Why'd you do that? 505 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:21,346 - [laughs] Oh, my gosh. 506 00:26:21,346 --> 00:26:24,750 I was aiming for your legs. 507 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,285 Oh, my gosh. 508 00:26:27,186 --> 00:26:28,487 - He bought that thing. 509 00:26:28,487 --> 00:26:30,823 He can do whatever he wants with it. 510 00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:42,134 - Grayson, will you pour some tea before you go, please? 511 00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:43,135 - Nope. 512 00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:46,738 [laughter] 513 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:50,109 - Go. Go get it. 514 00:26:50,109 --> 00:26:52,478 [chuckles] 515 00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:57,282 This way, Beau. Over here. 516 00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:59,084 I know you can't see. Wrong way. 517 00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:01,153 Wrong way, Beau. [laughs] 518 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:03,188 Beau, this way. Over here. 519 00:27:03,188 --> 00:27:06,592 - It's a frisbee and a blindfold. 520 00:27:06,592 --> 00:27:09,094 [laughter] 521 00:27:09,094 --> 00:27:10,896 - He can't see. 522 00:27:14,032 --> 00:27:15,834 Beau, over here. 523 00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:17,703 Over here, Beau. 524 00:27:17,703 --> 00:27:19,171 - Hands up here. 525 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:22,741 And then when I-- [laughs] 526 00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:25,010 - Did you know men and women have 527 00:27:25,010 --> 00:27:27,546 a different center of gravity? 528 00:27:27,546 --> 00:27:29,348 [chuckles] She did. 529 00:27:29,348 --> 00:27:31,183 - Now both at the same time. - Same time? 530 00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:32,484 - Yeah. One... 531 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,987 [laughter] 532 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,788 [children shrieking] 533 00:27:36,788 --> 00:27:39,291 - [roars] 534 00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:48,200 - This is a party these kids will never forget, 535 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,636 even after 20 years of therapy. 536 00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:53,672 [shrieking continues] 537 00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:03,882 [child laughing] 538 00:28:06,818 --> 00:28:09,188 - The game ends when somebody falls. 539 00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:13,525 - [laughs] - We'll call it a tie. 540 00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:25,170 There's a great prank where you wake someone up, 541 00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:27,005 tell them they have a phone call, 542 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:29,508 and then hand them something they think is a phone. 543 00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:32,010 It's like the "AFV" version of call waiting 544 00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:33,478 because the victim keeps waiting 545 00:28:33,478 --> 00:28:35,113 for the object to turn into something 546 00:28:35,113 --> 00:28:36,782 they can actually take a call on. 547 00:28:36,782 --> 00:28:39,885 [laughs] It's my shoe. 548 00:28:39,885 --> 00:28:42,254 - It's your mom. Here's the phone. 549 00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:45,924 - Mom? 550 00:28:45,924 --> 00:28:47,526 What do you want? 551 00:28:47,526 --> 00:28:49,094 - Telephone. 552 00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:50,729 - Hello? 553 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:54,800 Hello? 554 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,201 - Hey, your dad's calling. 555 00:28:56,201 --> 00:28:57,736 Your dad's calling. Here. 556 00:28:59,104 --> 00:29:00,606 Say, hello. 557 00:29:00,606 --> 00:29:02,441 - Dad? 558 00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:07,779 - Dad--Dad, phone's for you. 559 00:29:07,779 --> 00:29:10,082 Phone. - Hello? Hello? 560 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:11,316 - Nana, say, hello. 561 00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:13,151 - Huh? - Hello. 562 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:14,419 - Hello. 563 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,789 - Hello. - Hello. 564 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:18,824 - Answer it. 565 00:29:18,824 --> 00:29:20,292 Logan's on the phone. 566 00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:23,161 Logan's on the phone. 567 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,130 - Hey. 568 00:29:25,130 --> 00:29:26,198 - Oh. 569 00:29:26,198 --> 00:29:28,900 [laughter] 570 00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,805 - No, that's not why. - Huh? 571 00:29:33,805 --> 00:29:35,474 - Look at your phone. 572 00:29:36,942 --> 00:29:39,278 [laughter] 573 00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:40,946 [applause] 574 00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:42,281 - Got a funny video? 575 00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:44,916 Upload it to AFV.com. 576 00:29:44,916 --> 00:29:47,286 [applause] 577 00:29:51,857 --> 00:29:54,326 [upbeat music] 578 00:29:54,326 --> 00:29:57,129 - Those amazing face filters on your phone 579 00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,766 can turn you into a potato, a taco, an old man, 580 00:30:00,766 --> 00:30:03,435 a piece of pizza, or a corn flake. 581 00:30:03,435 --> 00:30:06,004 The fact that I used food for the examples 582 00:30:06,004 --> 00:30:07,906 means I must be hungry. 583 00:30:07,906 --> 00:30:10,275 The fact that I listed old man as one of those foods 584 00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:11,810 means I'm dangerously hungry. 585 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,211 Yo, crafty! 586 00:30:13,211 --> 00:30:14,713 [laughter] 587 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:19,051 - Meh, I'm a president 588 00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,253 on the cash. 589 00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:22,387 - Do you know Benjamin Franklin's 590 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:24,122 not really a president? 591 00:30:24,122 --> 00:30:26,358 - What? [laughter] 592 00:30:26,358 --> 00:30:29,094 - [shrieking] 593 00:30:29,094 --> 00:30:32,130 - [laughing] 594 00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:38,036 - Arf, arf. 595 00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:40,706 Arf. Arf, arf, arf. 596 00:30:40,706 --> 00:30:42,341 Bar, bar, bar. 597 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:45,544 - So today, it's a good day. 598 00:30:45,544 --> 00:30:48,380 Other than my clothes not fitting right, 599 00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:52,984 I woke up with a whole dollar bill under my pillow 600 00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:55,520 because I'm missing my teeth. 601 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,923 That's so cool. 602 00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:59,791 I got money. 603 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:03,762 Hey, Michael, did you get any money for missing your hair? 604 00:31:03,762 --> 00:31:05,664 - My hair is gone? 605 00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:09,401 - Oh, my gosh, is that a toilet? 606 00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:12,137 - [laughs] 607 00:31:12,137 --> 00:31:15,040 - [laughing] Shelly. 608 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,341 Shelly, look. 609 00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:17,342 Shelly? 610 00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:20,379 [laughter] 611 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:24,850 Ooh! 612 00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:29,087 [exciting music] 613 00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:30,989 - You know what the world needs now? 614 00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:33,625 A kitten doing squats. 615 00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:36,628 [swing music] 616 00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:43,635 ♪ 617 00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:51,109 I hope you've enjoyed a kitten doing squats. 618 00:31:51,109 --> 00:31:54,146 [applause] 619 00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:56,882 Oh, look. 620 00:31:56,882 --> 00:31:59,184 I ran out of soap in the shower, 621 00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:01,586 so I borrowed my wife's body wash 622 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:03,922 and now I smell like cinnamon and vanilla. 623 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:05,190 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No big deal. 624 00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:06,491 But every time a crew member 625 00:32:06,491 --> 00:32:08,093 gets within 10 feet of me, they go-- 626 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:09,261 [sniffs] 627 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,463 "Are those cinnamon raisin cookies?" 628 00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:16,034 Nope, just me, good old cookie scented me. 629 00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:17,836 So watch this while I run a quick errand, 630 00:32:17,836 --> 00:32:19,704 because if I don't get this crew some cookies, 631 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,339 they gonna riot. 632 00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:23,341 - Uh-oh, I left the drawers open. 633 00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:26,178 [upbeat music] 634 00:32:26,178 --> 00:32:27,279 I left the drawers open. 635 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:28,947 - He's not wearing drawers, 636 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,849 but he sure knows how to close 'em. 637 00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:34,920 - Here. 638 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,789 Over here. I left these open. 639 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,057 Here. 640 00:32:40,091 --> 00:32:41,827 All right. 641 00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:47,566 [both retching] 642 00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:52,938 - If this is their impression of pregnancy, 643 00:32:52,938 --> 00:32:57,075 something tells me Mom is not having the easiest trimester. 644 00:32:57,075 --> 00:32:58,343 - What are you guys doing? 645 00:32:58,343 --> 00:32:59,911 - Throwing up because-- - Why? 646 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:01,746 - Because we have babies. 647 00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:03,181 - Oh, I'm so sorry. 648 00:33:03,181 --> 00:33:04,883 That's not fun. 649 00:33:04,883 --> 00:33:06,218 - For pretend though. 650 00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,652 - Oh. 651 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:09,020 - Blah! 652 00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:14,192 - He's got a mouse in the house, 653 00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:16,461 but at least he handles it well. 654 00:33:16,461 --> 00:33:19,498 - [shrieking] 655 00:33:23,902 --> 00:33:26,571 - All right, Bailey. - You've got this. 656 00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:29,140 - Great bowlers come in all shapes and sizes... 657 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:35,080 - All right. All right. Looking good. 658 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,115 - Eventually. 659 00:33:37,115 --> 00:33:39,584 - Oh. Oh. Oh. 660 00:33:39,584 --> 00:33:41,019 - Little more. 661 00:33:42,487 --> 00:33:44,122 - Oh, Bailey. 662 00:33:44,122 --> 00:33:45,624 - Keep going. 663 00:33:48,260 --> 00:33:49,895 - What? Ah! 664 00:33:49,895 --> 00:33:50,896 - Nice! 665 00:33:50,896 --> 00:33:54,499 - [laughs] You got a strike. 666 00:33:56,101 --> 00:33:57,936 - Sea-Doo you later. 667 00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:08,013 Some kids you have to drag to the store. 668 00:34:08,013 --> 00:34:10,582 This kid you have to drag at the store. 669 00:34:17,355 --> 00:34:19,691 - Ah! 670 00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:22,260 Ow. 671 00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:23,795 Darn it. 672 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,168 - Oh, wow. 673 00:34:30,168 --> 00:34:32,203 That's upsetting. 674 00:34:32,203 --> 00:34:34,306 There's only one thing you can do now. 675 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:38,476 Take it all out on an inanimate object. 676 00:34:41,146 --> 00:34:44,182 [fan motor whirring] 677 00:34:47,552 --> 00:34:49,254 Hours of setup... 678 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:51,256 - Oh, my perfection, Lacy. 679 00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:53,892 - Skill, engineering. 680 00:34:53,892 --> 00:34:57,762 They planned on everything, 681 00:34:57,762 --> 00:35:00,966 except how Whiskers would react. 682 00:35:00,966 --> 00:35:02,968 - No! - No! No! 683 00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:04,002 - No! - No! 684 00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:05,971 - No. Wait. Wait. No way! No way! 685 00:35:05,971 --> 00:35:07,105 - Yeah, boy! 686 00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:09,908 [all yelling] 687 00:35:14,112 --> 00:35:17,482 - Nearly every great magician has a lovely assistant. 688 00:35:17,482 --> 00:35:20,051 Well, when it comes to getting great magic videos, 689 00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:23,755 I have over 300 million lovely assistants right here 690 00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:26,257 in the good old U. S. of "Hey, how'd you do that?" 691 00:35:26,257 --> 00:35:28,460 That's why mind-blowing magic is 692 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:29,761 tonight's Assignment America. 693 00:35:29,761 --> 00:35:30,829 Need some examples? 694 00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:32,530 Well, abracadabra, here they are. 695 00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:35,000 - And we all gotta close our eyes. 696 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:39,204 Abra... 697 00:35:39,204 --> 00:35:42,040 cadabra. 698 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,341 [gasps] 699 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:48,146 [mysterious music] 700 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:51,950 ♪ 701 00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:53,818 - How did you do that? 702 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:55,487 - Here we go. 703 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,790 Ready? [sniffs] 704 00:35:58,790 --> 00:36:00,792 - Look, Maddie. - Maddie? 705 00:36:00,792 --> 00:36:03,962 Achoo! 706 00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,597 - [laughs] 707 00:36:05,597 --> 00:36:07,232 - You'll get it this time. 708 00:36:07,232 --> 00:36:08,767 - I hope so. - All right. 709 00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:10,168 - Ready? 710 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,037 - Yeah. 711 00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:13,605 [clattering] 712 00:36:13,605 --> 00:36:15,974 [laughter] 713 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:18,543 - Well, there's nothing up my sleeve, 714 00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:20,512 but I am wearing this sweet sports coat, 715 00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,313 so you'll just have to trust me on that. 716 00:36:22,313 --> 00:36:24,416 Jess, tell them more. 717 00:36:24,416 --> 00:36:26,017 - Whether it's an incredible trick 718 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,153 that fills them with wonder or a botched illusion 719 00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,888 that becomes a hilarious blunder, 720 00:36:29,888 --> 00:36:31,523 we want your magic videos. 721 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,592 Your wizardry might even make $20,000 or $100,000 722 00:36:34,592 --> 00:36:36,461 magically appear in your bank account. 723 00:36:36,461 --> 00:36:38,596 Just upload the video to AFV.com. 724 00:36:38,596 --> 00:36:40,965 For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com. 725 00:36:40,965 --> 00:36:43,334 Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, we'll have magic videos 726 00:36:43,334 --> 00:36:44,769 sent in by you. 727 00:36:46,638 --> 00:36:49,474 [upbeat music] 728 00:36:49,474 --> 00:36:51,910 - This show was so good it deserves a sequel, 729 00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:55,380 but first, let's praise some videos that have no equal. 730 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:57,282 So let's meet our finalists. 731 00:36:57,282 --> 00:36:58,783 First up, breakfast is over. 732 00:36:58,783 --> 00:37:01,653 It must have been yummy, because this little guy 733 00:37:01,653 --> 00:37:03,621 is demanding more food for his tummy. 734 00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:07,125 It's Aches for Pancakes sent in by Mallory Schmitz 735 00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,393 from Westfield, Indiana. 736 00:37:08,393 --> 00:37:09,761 [applause] 737 00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:11,663 - I want more pancakes. 738 00:37:11,663 --> 00:37:13,198 - Calvin, they're all gone. 739 00:37:13,198 --> 00:37:14,733 - No! 740 00:37:14,733 --> 00:37:16,701 Come on. 741 00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:18,770 I want more pancakes. 742 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,105 - They're all gone. 743 00:37:20,105 --> 00:37:21,372 - I want more pancakes. 744 00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:22,507 - You ate 'em all. 745 00:37:22,507 --> 00:37:23,775 - Oh! 746 00:37:23,775 --> 00:37:25,343 Come on. 747 00:37:26,277 --> 00:37:29,380 - Joining us are Mallory, Paul, Calvin, and Benjamin. 748 00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:32,150 Now, this video was shot a few years ago, 749 00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:34,085 and Calvin, you're a little older now. 750 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:35,253 Now here's the question. 751 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,555 How do you feel about pancakes now? 752 00:37:39,124 --> 00:37:44,329 - I think I feel like I really want more, like-- 753 00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:45,663 - You want more pancakes? 754 00:37:45,663 --> 00:37:48,032 Well, I love me some pancakes, so I feel you. 755 00:37:48,032 --> 00:37:50,101 Listen, I get grumpy when I don't have anything 756 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,804 to pour my maple syrup on, OK? 757 00:37:52,804 --> 00:37:54,906 - Thank you. both: Thank you. 758 00:37:54,906 --> 00:37:56,541 - Good luck. 759 00:37:56,541 --> 00:37:59,577 Next, when a cute little doggy has one leg too few, 760 00:37:59,577 --> 00:38:02,881 she remakes all her toys so they're three-legged too. 761 00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:05,917 It's Twin Tripods sent in by Rita Torres 762 00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,752 from Odessa, Texas. 763 00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:08,887 [applause] 764 00:38:08,887 --> 00:38:10,688 - OK, so this is DD's chew toy. 765 00:38:10,688 --> 00:38:11,956 - You don't have to stop. 766 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:15,160 - As you can see, she doesn't chew anything else 767 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:19,097 but this arm right here, like, as if wanting to take it off. 768 00:38:19,097 --> 00:38:20,632 I don't understand why. 769 00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:24,602 DD, can you please explain that to me? 770 00:38:24,602 --> 00:38:25,837 Ooh. 771 00:38:25,837 --> 00:38:27,172 [applause] 772 00:38:27,172 --> 00:38:30,441 - Joining us are Rita, Lewis, Anthony, and DD. 773 00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:32,811 Now, Rita, was this a one-time occurrence 774 00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:36,047 or does DD de-leg all of her toys? 775 00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:39,651 - She does all of her toys the same. 776 00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:40,852 - I love that. 777 00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:42,020 Like, she has such self-awareness. 778 00:38:42,020 --> 00:38:43,087 It's beautiful. - Yes. 779 00:38:43,087 --> 00:38:44,088 - That's adorable. 780 00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,857 Good luck, guys. 781 00:38:45,857 --> 00:38:47,425 - Thank you. - All right. 782 00:38:47,425 --> 00:38:49,460 And finally, car trouble's expensive, 783 00:38:49,460 --> 00:38:52,063 and that's just one reason to pull this practical joke 784 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:53,531 during Christmas season. 785 00:38:53,531 --> 00:38:55,366 It's Daddy-Daughter Diesel Prank, 786 00:38:55,366 --> 00:39:00,471 sent in by Madison Boswell from Ronceverte, West Virginia. 787 00:39:00,471 --> 00:39:02,207 - I got gas and now my-- 788 00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:07,912 - [laughs] It's the new Christmas edition gas, 789 00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:09,681 the green nozzle. 790 00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:15,553 - The green nozzle that the gas stations have for Christmas. 791 00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:22,193 - Joining us are Madison, Joey, Taylor, and Roxana. 792 00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:24,863 Now, Joey, when you found out this was a joke 793 00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:28,566 and Madison did not really put diesel into her car, 794 00:39:28,566 --> 00:39:30,969 how did you react? 795 00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:33,404 - I didn't speak with her for a few hours. 796 00:39:33,404 --> 00:39:35,440 - Well, you know, I get that too. 797 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:36,674 That is awesome. 798 00:39:36,674 --> 00:39:38,042 I love the fact that Joe didn't talk about it. 799 00:39:38,042 --> 00:39:40,278 And, Madison, listen-- just so you know-- 800 00:39:40,278 --> 00:39:42,947 if you're thinking about putting 4th of July gas 801 00:39:42,947 --> 00:39:44,983 in your car this summer, don't, OK? 802 00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:47,018 [laughter] 803 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:49,554 All right, guys. Good luck. Good luck. 804 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:51,389 All right, we're going to find out who takes home 805 00:39:51,389 --> 00:39:52,457 the cash in just a minute. 806 00:39:52,457 --> 00:39:53,825 But first, let's take a look at some 807 00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,660 of the clips that didn't make our top three 808 00:39:55,660 --> 00:39:57,896 in tonight's Honorable Mention. 809 00:39:57,896 --> 00:40:00,899 [epic music] 810 00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:04,469 ♪ 811 00:40:04,469 --> 00:40:07,138 [laughter] 812 00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:09,741 - [yelping] 813 00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:17,081 [explosion] 814 00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:20,151 - [yelping] 815 00:40:27,191 --> 00:40:28,927 - [yelping] 816 00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:32,163 [applause] 817 00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:33,464 [upbeat music] 818 00:40:33,464 --> 00:40:36,234 OK, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes-- 819 00:40:36,234 --> 00:40:38,603 $20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, 820 00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,138 and $4,000 for third. 821 00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:41,139 Here we go. 822 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:44,409 Our third place, $4,000 winner is 823 00:40:44,409 --> 00:40:45,643 Twin Tripod, 824 00:40:45,643 --> 00:40:48,179 sent in by Rita Torres from Odessa, Texas. 825 00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:51,282 [cheers and applause] 826 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,217 Thank you. 827 00:40:53,217 --> 00:40:55,353 And the winner of the $20,000, 828 00:40:55,353 --> 00:40:58,089 and tonight's Funniest Home Video is 829 00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,958 Daddy-Daughter Diesel Prank, 830 00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,860 sent in by Madison Boswell from Ronceverte, West Virginia. 831 00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:06,197 We've got Madison, Joey, Taylor, and Roxana. 832 00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:09,467 Wow, congratulations! 833 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,536 Now, the thing the audience didn't see 834 00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:15,907 is that we had to cut out a lot of Joey's profanity, OK? 835 00:41:15,907 --> 00:41:19,344 Now, Madison, what was going through your mind 836 00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:21,446 when your dad started cussing at you, 837 00:41:21,446 --> 00:41:23,848 thinking you had ruined the car? 838 00:41:23,848 --> 00:41:26,517 - Well, he cusses, but not normally that much. 839 00:41:26,517 --> 00:41:30,888 That's why I asked him why he was talking the way he was. 840 00:41:30,888 --> 00:41:32,290 - Dad, you don't talk like that all the time? 841 00:41:32,290 --> 00:41:33,424 You good with the mouth? 842 00:41:33,424 --> 00:41:35,793 You don't really curse that much, right? 843 00:41:35,793 --> 00:41:38,329 - That's right. [laughter] 844 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:40,331 - That's your story and you're sticking to it. 845 00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:43,267 - Amen. [laughter] 846 00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:46,871 - Well, you won $20,000, which is probably almost enough 847 00:41:46,871 --> 00:41:49,574 to fill a car with diesel these days. 848 00:41:49,574 --> 00:41:50,908 Yeah. 849 00:41:50,908 --> 00:41:52,110 Congratulations. 850 00:41:52,110 --> 00:41:55,947 You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000. 851 00:41:55,947 --> 00:41:59,183 [cheers and applause] 852 00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:00,785 [upbeat music] 853 00:42:00,785 --> 00:42:03,121 Well, that's our show. What'd you think? 854 00:42:03,121 --> 00:42:06,791 Suggestions are welcome but never read. 855 00:42:06,791 --> 00:42:08,192 We'll see you next time, and don't forget, 856 00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:09,927 if you upload a video and it airs on the show, 857 00:42:09,927 --> 00:42:11,429 we'll send you an "AFV" T-shirt. 858 00:42:11,429 --> 00:42:12,830 So good night, everybody, and remember, 859 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:15,533 send your video to me, you might win 20 G's. 860 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:18,503 [cheers and applause] 861 00:42:18,503 --> 00:42:25,543 ♪