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Tonight, on "America's
Funniest Home Videos,"

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00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,506
one of the season's
10 winning families

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will take home
the $100,000 prize.

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Who will be voted the winner?

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We'll reveal all on
"AFV's" $100,000 episode,

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starting right...

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now!

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Let the laughing begin!

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Woman:
You have all the--

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Man: Oh, my gosh!
You all right?

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[ Dog barks ]

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[ Laughter ]

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[ Man groans ]
[ Laughter ]

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Unh!

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[ Horse farts ]

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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Welcome to "America's
Funniest Home Videos"

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$100,000 show.

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And now, here he is,
your host...

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Alfonso Ribeiro!

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Let's do it!

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[ Cheers and applause ]

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Come on, y'all.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Yes, yes, yes!

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Hello, and welcome to our
$100,000 show!

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Tonight, one lucky winner
is going home

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with a check
for a hundred grand.

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They could get that in dollars,
clams, simoleons, cheddar,

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or any slang term for money that
people haven't used in decades

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but I still find
mildly amusing. Yeah.

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So we'll find out who wins
at the end of the night,

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but until we give out
all that money,

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let's enjoy something
that's all-out funny!

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This is karma for making
the dogs eat outside.

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Unh!

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What mom isn't excited
to show off her new baby?

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Woman:
Scarlet, show me your baby.

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Can I see your baby?

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Aww.
Cute.

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Can you give him a hug?

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Woman:
You got school-itis?

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Yeah.

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Why you got school-itis?

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It hurts every day?

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[ Laughter ]

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[ Dance music plays ]

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He's about to be crowned
the king of the "fun uncles."

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[ Woman laughs ]

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[ Glass shatters ]

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Broke the window!

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♪♪

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Woman: Broken window!

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♪♪

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Woman: Hi!

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How ya doin'?

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Ribeiro:
Someone wants this to stay
a one-animal household.

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[ Dog barking ]

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Woman: Gerti!
Get back over here!

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♪ The itsy bitsy spider
went up the water spout ♪

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Woo!

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♪ Down came the rain
and washed the spider out ♪

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♪ Out came the sun

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♪ ...and dried up
all the rain ♪

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♪ And the itsy bitsy...

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♪ ...spider

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♪ Went up the spout
ag-a-a-ain ♪

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♪ Yeah

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♪♪

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Are these key changes?

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No, ma'am.

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[ Laughter ]

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[ Celebratory music plays ]

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♪♪

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It's time to meet
our first batch

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of $100,000 finalists.

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Will tonight's winner be

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a woman who thinks her water
bottle has something to say,

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a husband, a wife,
and three dogs slipping away,

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or a kid and a kitty
in a powdered-sugar display?

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♪♪

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Ain't technology great?

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She can take a picture
with her phone

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and get a call
on her water bottle.

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Hello?

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Hello?

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Hello?!

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Oh.
[ Laughs ]

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Oh, son of a gun.

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[ Laughing ]

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I picked up --
[ Laughs ]

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I -- I -- I --

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Ay-yi-yi.

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[ Laughter ]

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No, no, no.
Let me get you guys out.

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Ribeiro:
Here come the dogs...

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Ooh-hoo!

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...and there go the dogs.

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Oh, I gotta
get boots.

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Open the garage,
please.

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Hey, hey.

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Buddy...

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[ Smooches ]

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Ribeiro:
Dad to the rescue...

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and Mom to the ground.

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[ Laughter ]

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Oh!

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Donna, are you okay?

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Yeah, I'm fine.

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No, wait! Piper!

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Get over here!
You're gonna fall.

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Piper, stay.

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♪♪

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Man:
Leah.

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♪♪

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Ohhhh, Leah.

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Leah.

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Wow.
Whatcha doing here?

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Hey.
[ Whistles ]

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Ribeiro:
If you think her parents
are less than amused,

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wait till you see the cat.

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Woman:
Look what she did, babe.

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Man: Leah.

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Woman:
Look at the Cheetos.

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Man: Leah.

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[ Both laugh ]

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[ Laughter ]

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Woman: How you like
that cat now?

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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They say that animals are just
as afraid of us

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as we are of them.

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This montage asked the question,

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"Why the heck aren't we
more scared of them?

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♪♪

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♪ Grin but they don't
mean it ♪

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♪ Sing but they don't
feel it ♪

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♪ Gone but they don't
see it ♪

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Ow!
It bit my shoulder!

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♪ Think but they don't
speak it ♪

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♪ There's a beast eating
every bit of beauty ♪

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♪ And they all feed it
[ Goose honks ]

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♪ Stop...a moment,
try to freeze it ♪

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♪ They find,
and they don't seek it ♪

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Aah!

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♪ At the bar,
but they can't meet it ♪

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♪ Try their best,
but they can't beat it ♪

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♪ Nice car, somebody keys it

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♪ There's a beast
eating every bit of beauty ♪

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♪ And, yes, they feed it
[ Woman screams ]

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♪ I'm not a finger pointer

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♪ I will not cry your name
Ow!

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♪ For, yeah,
brothers and sisters ♪

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♪ We are one 'n' the same
Oh!

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♪ When my sister suffers

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♪ And when my mother cries

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♪ All I want to do

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♪ Is look in someone's eyes
and say ♪

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♪ Somehow we'd better speak it

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♪ Scared someone will tweet it

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♪ It's on the wall,
but you won't read it ♪

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♪ It's gone before you see it

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♪ We all dread to repeat it

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♪ There's a beast
eating every bit of beauty ♪

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♪ And, yes, we all feed it

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Aah!

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Oh! Kelsey!
Kelsey!

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[ Laughter ]

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[ Cheers and applause ]

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Do you have a funny video
worth $20,000?

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What are you waiting for?

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Upload it to AFV.com.

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♪ Gone but they don't see it

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♪ They can call
but they can't heed it ♪

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♪ They think,
but they don't speak it ♪

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♪ There's a beast
eating every bit of beauty ♪

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♪ And they all feed it

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♪♪

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Someone told me that dogs have
dreams, and it blew my mind.

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Then they said,

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"That's why their legs move
while they're sleeping.

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They're dreaming of running."

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See, I thought they meant
"dreams"

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as in "hopes and dreams,"
like going on "Shark Tank"

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and pitching a "walk yourself"
dog-walking business

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and getting rich and buying
an island made of chew toys.

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[ Laughter ]

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But I guess dreaming of running
makes more sense.

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Release the hounds!

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It's time to go
to the Dog Park.

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[ Dog barking ]

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[ Man barking ]

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Buster can handle
shadow-puppet dogs

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but not shadow-puppet dogs who
sound vaguely like his owner.

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[ Both barking ]

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Woman: What'd you do
while we were gone?

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Hmm?

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What did you -- what did you do
while we were gone?

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No, don't try to make nice now.

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[ Toy squeaking ]

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Could you not see
out the window?

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Huh?

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You couldn't see out
the kitchen window?

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I see that.

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So you decided to get up
on the kitchen table

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and take matters
into your own hands?

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Huh?

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♪♪

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Ribeiro: If you make her wear
an itchy sweater,

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she's gotta find some way
to scratch her back.

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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[ Dog growls ]

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I don't think the big dog
is in a mood to play.

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[ Dog barks ]

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00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,189
[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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With two big active dogs
in the house,

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this guy needs to adopt
a more defensive posture.

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Ohh!

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[ Laughter ]

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♪♪

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[ Dogs barking ]

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I'm sorry, ma'am, but two

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Great Danes might be a little
too much dog for you.

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♪♪

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00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:08,114
[ Laughter ]

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00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:13,119
♪♪

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00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,722
[ Laughter ]

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00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:23,263
♪♪

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Tiny legs, big brain!

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♪♪

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He doesn't get the job
done quickly,

235
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but he does get it done.

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00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:39,779
[ Laughter ]

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00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:44,050
♪♪

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[ Laughter and applause ]

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And now you will be
the beneficiary...

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00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,896
of the fact that I bought
a rhyming dictionary!

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It's story time,

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and I have some doozies for you.

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It's "Dunce Upon a Time."

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00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:04,604
♪♪

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00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,541
The driveway was very icy
and, dare I say, real steep,

246
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which made it quite a chore for
them to stop their sliding Jeep.

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They always have
a grand old time,

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thanks to all the snowing.

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The husband stays to complete
the job.

250
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His wife just keeps on going.

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00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,221
[ Laughter ]

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00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:23,556
♪♪

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I don't remember his face
or even the poor guy's name,

254
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just how he always
ran through doors

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00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,197
still attached
to their frames.

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00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:34,067
[ Laughter ]

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Man:
Door destruction.

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Ribeiro: Eating cereal
and walking are two things

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he can usually handle,

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but the dog gate is a problem
when his footwear is a sandal.

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[ Bowl shatters ]

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♪♪

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Woman:
Oh, my God, Cal.

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Man:
Oh, yeah.

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Oh, that's yummy.

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No more.
No more.

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Ribeiro:
His mom tells him to stop it,

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but the little boy's
not flustered.

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00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,295
Hey, kid,
you know you're supposed

270
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,998
to dip a yellow bus in mustard.

271
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:08,368
[ Laughter ]

272
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,137
All right, Reagan,
your turn.

273
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:13,139
This has been
"Dunce Upon a Time."

274
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,008
The end.

275
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:20,413
♪♪

276
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,982
It's time to meet
our second batch

277
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:24,317
of $100,000 finalists.

278
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,953
Will tonight's winner be
a home invaded

279
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,188
by the neighborhood lizard,

280
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,323
a pregnant woman
who's a pranking wizard,

281
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,826
or a llama who spits with
the strength of a blizzard?

282
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:34,961
[ Laughter ]

283
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:39,666
♪♪

284
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:44,003
What's worse than an iguana
at your front door?

285
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,338
Go out the garage.

286
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,208
An iguana that goes
in
your front door.

287
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,176
No! Get inside!

288
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:51,210
[ Dog barking,
woman screaming ]

289
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,212
No!

290
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:56,115
[ Laughter ]

291
00:11:56,115 --> 00:12:00,853
[ Woman screaming ]

292
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,256
♪♪

293
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:06,226
No, I don't want it
in the house.

294
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:13,132
♪♪

295
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,934
[ Laughter ]

296
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,136
♪♪

297
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,173
You all right?

298
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,908
Oh, God.
Oh, my gosh.

299
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,009
Oh, my gosh.

300
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,310
Ribeiro:
I think she got pregnant

301
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,246
just so she could
play this prank.

302
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,880
Man: Are you okay?
Nope.

303
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,115
What's wrong?

304
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,284
-No. Her water broke.
-Her water broke.

305
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,552
Let's get her
to the hospital.

306
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,922
Okay, somebody has to call
my doctor.

307
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,190
Eric, call her doctor.

308
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,158
What doctor
are you using?

309
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,927
Get your phone, Eric.

310
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,895
I'm coming.

311
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,367
What's your doctor's number?
Breathe.

312
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,102
What's the doctor's
number?

313
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,237
April is
the first name.

314
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:54,107
-Just Google it.
-Just Google it.

315
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,475
I think we need to go
to the hospital, don't we?

316
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,077
Yeah, but we got
to call her first.

317
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,982
Okay, April what?

318
00:13:05,985 --> 00:13:08,755
[ Laughter ]

319
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,729
Woman:
What did you do?

320
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,332
I want to roll up the window,
but his head's in the way.

321
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,533
Man: No, don't
roll up the window.

322
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,934
He's spitting stuff
everywhere as he eats.

323
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,069
It's like,
falling out of his mouth.

324
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,070
Mm-hmm.

325
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,405
Oh, my gosh.
Look at this.

326
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:26,673
Ribeiro: Dad said,
"Don't roll up the window."

327
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,008
I think it's gonna take Nathan
a good 30 years

328
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:31,044
to forgive him for that.

329
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,879
Ewww...

330
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,882
[ Screams ]

331
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:36,916
[ Crying ]

332
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:44,157
♪♪

333
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,958
Ew...

334
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,960
[ Cheers and applause ]

335
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:55,668
♪♪

336
00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:00,373
♪♪

337
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:03,309
Fathers and sons
have a special way of bonding,

338
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,845
a way that usually ends
with Dad saying,

339
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:06,913
"Don't tell your mother!"

340
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,281
But the kid always tells Mom

341
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,350
because he knows she's going
to find out eventually,

342
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,453
so he might as well throw
Dad under the bus now.

343
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:16,789
Anyway, uh...
fathers and sons!

344
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:18,257
[ Laughter ]

345
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:21,027
Oh, it did not fall, boy!

346
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:24,330
You are fixing to lose again.

347
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:28,034
Ribeiro:
Bragging at Jenga always ends
with something falling.

348
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,135
Woman:
Here he goes again.

349
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,269
[ Chair cracking ]

350
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:31,370
Let's watch you fall.

351
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,741
Woman:
Oh, let's watch you fall.

352
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:35,975
♪♪

353
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:36,976
Did you get that on video?

354
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,244
-I did.
-Yes!

355
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,413
Wait. It crawled up
into the ceiling.

356
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,848
Wait, no.

357
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,350
Ribeiro:
It's great to have stuff
in common with your son,

358
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:46,953
like being terrified of bats.

359
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:52,925
[ Both screaming ]

360
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:54,160
Boy: I recorded that.

361
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,796
[ Man screams ]

362
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:57,964
I do.

363
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,801
I --
Don't say that.

364
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,002
Man: Huh?

365
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,337
I do want a perm.

366
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,538
You're not
getting a perm.

367
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,275
Don't say that word.
That's a bad word.

368
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,912
Come up, like,
around here some.
Yeah.

369
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,248
Mostly back here.

370
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,582
Ribeiro: Hmm.

371
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,284
I would have given the wife
the trimmer

372
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:22,255
and the kid the camera,
but that's just me.

373
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,124
It's getting a lot.

374
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:27,360
Woman: Did you --
You took the thing off!

375
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,229
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.

376
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,397
Oh, no.

377
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:33,032
I forgot.
I took it off to clean it.

378
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,400
There was so much hair on it.

379
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,135
Do I got a bald spot
on the back of my head now?

380
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:37,236
No.

381
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,940
It's just, like,
very thick.

382
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,775
It's what
I used to look like.

383
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:46,045
[ Laughter ]

384
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:47,213
What's this from?

385
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,214
Look at that little car.

386
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:52,118
That's a European car.

387
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,219
What kind of car is that?

388
00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,188
Peein' car.

389
00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:56,923
No, European.

390
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,391
No, I'm not a peein'.

391
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:01,327
No, it's
a European car.

392
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:04,096
This is a peein' car?

393
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,198
European.

394
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,133
No, I'm not a peein'!

395
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,167
[ Laughter ]

396
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,369
♪♪

397
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:14,240
Man: So how did that
get on the ground?

398
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,275
Ribeiro:
A box of doughnuts?

399
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:17,643
Man: Let's see if we can
follow the...

400
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,246
Ribeiro: Come on.
No kid can resist a doughnut.

401
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,280
Man:
...all the way to...

402
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,115
Ribeiro: ...or 12.

403
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,450
♪♪

404
00:16:24,450 --> 00:16:28,287
Man: Hey, buddy,
what you got there?

405
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:32,191
Did you find some
Krispy Kreme doughnuts?

406
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:33,993
Mmm.

407
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,328
Are those yummy?

408
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,329
♪♪

409
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,530
Okay.
So we've loaded

410
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:41,300
the first stage
of the pump with muck.

411
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:44,437
And now I'm going
to pressurize the stage,

412
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,273
and we should see the muck come
out of the valve at the end.

413
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,141
Ribeiro:
Having an engineer for a dad

414
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:52,144
creates a special
set of problems.

415
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,079
Oh!

416
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:54,347
[ Screaming ]

417
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,782
[ Child screaming, crying ]

418
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,150
Mama!

419
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:03,089
♪♪

420
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:05,591
Now, I'm not much of a gambler,

421
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:09,262
but I'm smart enough to realize
those billion-dollar casinos

422
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,496
didn't get built
because the house

423
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,165
suddenly got hot
at the blackjack table.

424
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,468
However, some bets are such
sure things that even

425
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:19,105
I can't resist
laying my money down.

426
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,440
The odds are good that
I'll like these odds!

427
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,411
It's time for
"I'll Take That Bet!"

428
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:27,346
You think
tomorrow morning's coffee

429
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:29,115
won't taste
like hairballs and tuna?

430
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,083
[ Scoffs ]
I'll take that bet!

431
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:33,819
♪♪

432
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,855
[ Laughter ]

433
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,261
[ Laughter ]

434
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,496
♪♪

435
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,298
So, you think you can drive
the Jacuzzi

436
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,167
over to Garth's annual
"Bring Your Own Hot Tub Party"

437
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,201
without spilling a drop?

438
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,203
[ Scoffs ]
Care to wager?

439
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:52,738
♪♪

440
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,580
[ Laughing ]

441
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:05,284
You believe wine o'clock is the
perfect time to try tandem yoga?

442
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,987
[ Scoffs ]
I'll take that action!

443
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,855
[ Laughs ]

444
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,857
What could go wrong?

445
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,926
[ Laughter ]

446
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,929
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?

447
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,030
♪♪

448
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,432
You think that guy
taking forever

449
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,068
in the drive-through
isn't a real pig?

450
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,103
Come on.
Lay your money down.

451
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,238
♪♪

452
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,274
Woman:
Hear the pig?

453
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,810
[ Pig oinking ]
There he is.

454
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,144
[ Pig grunting ]

455
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:34,614
[ Laughter ]

456
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,221
Ribeiro: I'm up 'cause some
crazy stuff went down!

457
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,757
This was
"I'll Take That Bet"

458
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,659
♪♪

459
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,301
Both: Hey, Alfonso!

460
00:18:55,301 --> 00:19:01,173
Let's see
some more golf videos.

461
00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:04,110
Okay, Clayton and Clyde,
you want golf videos?

462
00:19:04,110 --> 00:19:06,846
I don't know if
I've mentioned it to the crew,

463
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,114
but I love to golf.

464
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:10,116
Have I ever mentioned
that I love to golf?

465
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,650
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!

466
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:15,187
Okay. I suppose my golf stories
may have come up once or twice.

467
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,389
[ Laughter ]

468
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,890
♪♪

469
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:22,294
It's considered bad form to talk
while someone's about to drive.

470
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:25,297
But the etiquette books
don't say anything about this.

471
00:19:25,297 --> 00:19:27,099
[ Air horn blares ]

472
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:31,237
[ Laughter ]

473
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:32,972
Trying to putt out of the rough

474
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:36,108
can lead to
a pretty rough round.

475
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:37,209
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

476
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,844
No...
[ Laughing ]

477
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:39,945
♪♪

478
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:43,115
[ Motor revving ]

479
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,017
[ Tires screeching ]

480
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,318
Ironically, they got the cart

481
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:50,056
because David wanted
to go easy on his knees.

482
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,191
Hang on!

483
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,193
Watch your head
a little bit.

484
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,329
Ribeiro: It's a tiny club,
but it still packs a wallop.

485
00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:00,366
Man: Oh, man.
Make it, make that putt!

486
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,969
Ribeiro: Molly's the mutt
who knows how to putt.

487
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:05,271
Man: Boom!
Shake and bake bud!

488
00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,906
Sit.
Sit.

489
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,908
Sit.
Shake and bake.

490
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:15,281
♪♪

491
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:18,984
Ribeiro:
I hope that club gives
his ball enough loft.

492
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,786
♪♪

493
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:21,787
Ohh!

494
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:23,823
[ Laughs ]

495
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,091
Oww!

496
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,959
[ Laughter ]

497
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:32,565
Get ready
for an unforgettable vacation

498
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,533
in a magnificent
three-bedroom Grand Villa

499
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,535
at a Disney Vacation
Club Resort!

500
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,204
This season's
grand prize winner

501
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,638
and five guests
will stay at their choice

502
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:41,640
of either Disney's Riviera
Resort in Florida

503
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,477
or The Villas at Disneyland
Hotel in California,

504
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:47,012
or Aulani Disney
Vacation Club Villas,

505
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:48,380
Ko Olina, Hawaii.

506
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,349
Discover the magic
of Disney storytelling

507
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,284
at the new Villas
at Disneyland Hotel

508
00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:55,121
and visit both parks
at Disneyland Resort,

509
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:57,189
or at Disney's Riviera Resort,

510
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,724
step into the elegance
of Europe.

511
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,160
Stay in the heart
of Walt Disney World Resort

512
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,195
and visit all four
Theme Parks,

513
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:05,564
or escape to an enchanting
family paradise

514
00:21:05,564 --> 00:21:07,600
inspired by the rich
traditions of Hawai'i

515
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,102
at Aulani
Disney Vacation Club Villas,

516
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,238
and embrace the spirit
of aloha.

517
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:14,173
Each of these Disney
Vacation Club Resorts

518
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,808
offers legendary
Disney service

519
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,477
and a variety of experiences
for everyone in the family.

520
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,546
It's a dream vacation
filled with magic.

521
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:23,115
Send your video to "AFV"
for your chance to win

522
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,618
this wonderful vacation!

523
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,455
[ Applause ]

524
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,525
Remember having to remember
peoples' phone numbers?

525
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:34,960
Now you just click
their contact name

526
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,195
on your phone, and voilà!

527
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,364
My point is,
technology makes things easier,

528
00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:40,366
which makes
our brains lazier...

529
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:43,135
which leads to
some poor decisions...

530
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,271
which makes me wonder
why I'm making this sound

531
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:48,107
like a bad thing,
considering where I work!

532
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:49,975
Think, Al, think!

533
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,076
[ Laughter ]

534
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,278
[ Buzzing ]

535
00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:53,445
Woman: Waylon, why
are you wearing goggles

536
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:55,114
to brush your teeth?

537
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,882
Because...

538
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:02,021
You're supposed to wear
goggles while you're brushing?

539
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,889
Hm.
Why?

540
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:05,991
Because...

541
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,195
Ohh. Okay.

542
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:11,030
[ Indistinct conversations ]

543
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,531
[ Laughter ]

544
00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:13,566
Man: Closer!

545
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:15,067
You gotta run
all the way down.

546
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,235
Man: Go!

547
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:17,970
[ Laughter ]

548
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,104
-Whoo!
-Ready?

549
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:20,472
Brock, get ready.
Go! Lay down!

550
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:22,441
Ribeiro: Do the "world's record"
people keep track of

551
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:25,077
"most teenagers jumped
by a hyperactive dog

552
00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:26,946
chasing a laser pointer"?

553
00:22:26,946 --> 00:22:28,180
'Cause they should.

554
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,249
Man: Keep your heads down,
girls!

555
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,351
Woman: Are you putting
anybody else in?

556
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,086
Garret, go.
Woman: Lay down.

557
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,021
-Garret, get on.
-Garret, lay down.

558
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,389
-Garret!
-Garret, lay down.

559
00:22:37,389 --> 00:22:39,491
Ribeiro: She's the only dog
in the neighborhood

560
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:42,261
who can jump over every kid
in the neighborhood.

561
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:44,230
Come on! Garret!

562
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,999
Garret, let's go!
Keep going!

563
00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:49,835
[ Indistinct conversations ]

564
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,203
[ Laughter ]

565
00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,839
Man: Come down
to the right level.

566
00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:55,341
Woman:
Everybody ready?

567
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:57,276
Ribeiro: I don't think she's
quite tall enough for this.

568
00:22:57,276 --> 00:22:59,111
-Go!
-Aah!

569
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:02,147
-Ohh!
-Ohh! Ohh!

570
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:05,184
Woman: Hey, Ava.
Want some banana?

571
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:06,385
You want banana?

572
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,320
Ribeiro:
This is a banana split.

573
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,323
Ava sees a banana...
then splits.

574
00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:13,959
Woman: Ava, you don't
want any banana?

575
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:17,196
[ Laughing ]

576
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,198
I think all the cans
out there are froze--

577
00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:21,133
Oh, my gosh!
You alright?

578
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:23,802
Ribeiro:
He puts the "duh" in soda.

579
00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:25,738
[ Laughter ]

580
00:23:28,374 --> 00:23:31,010
Ribeiro:
See that snake in the bar?

581
00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,112
So does Phyllis.

582
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,114
Ohh!

583
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:36,148
I'm sorry.

584
00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,449
Woman:
Oh, it's on the move.

585
00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:40,052
It's on the move.
The -- The snake.

586
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,121
[ Laughter ]

587
00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:47,259
♪♪

588
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,460
Ribeiro:
It seems like they should get

589
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,963
way more than two points
for this.

590
00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:54,900
[ All cheering ]

591
00:23:55,934 --> 00:24:00,339
♪♪

592
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:03,008
It's time to meet
our third and final batch

593
00:24:03,008 --> 00:24:04,310
of $100,000 finalists.

594
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,678
Will tonight's winner be...

595
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,380
a sister who brings da noise
but not quite da funk...

596
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:11,150
a proposal photobombed
by a curious chipmunk...

597
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,419
a cat who likes tuna
even more than mom thunk...

598
00:24:13,419 --> 00:24:16,855
or a mom who wishes
the flour remained in the trunk?

599
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:21,593
♪♪

600
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:24,430
[ Classical music playing ]

601
00:24:24,430 --> 00:24:27,533
She wants to be
a Disney princess.

602
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:30,736
But her little sister
wants to be Donald Duck.

603
00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:33,839
[ Honking ]

604
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:35,674
[ Woman gasps ]

605
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,919
Hold that.

606
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:54,159
You are not kidding.
You're joking right now.

607
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:56,061
Babe, you are joking.

608
00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:57,196
Will you marry me?

609
00:24:57,196 --> 00:25:01,066
[ Gasps ] You're
kidding me right now!

610
00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:02,701
Are you serious?

611
00:25:02,701 --> 00:25:04,670
Yes.

612
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:05,838
Oh.

613
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,973
[ Laughter ]

614
00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:09,742
Oh, the chipmunk.

615
00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:12,044
Woman: Babe.

616
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,178
[ Cat growls ]

617
00:25:13,178 --> 00:25:14,913
Give it -- No!

618
00:25:14,913 --> 00:25:16,949
Come back here!

619
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,184
Give me that back!

620
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:20,919
Give it to me!

621
00:25:20,919 --> 00:25:23,956
Give -- No! Roycey!

622
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:25,157
Ribeiro:
I think this means

623
00:25:25,157 --> 00:25:28,227
you should be giving Royce
better cat food.

624
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,263
Woman: No! Royce!

625
00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:33,932
Give me my sandwich back!

626
00:25:33,932 --> 00:25:36,769
Baby? Royce!

627
00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:43,208
Give me my sandwich! No.

628
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:45,511
Babe, I brought half
my sandwich home, okay?

629
00:25:45,511 --> 00:25:47,546
Look what they just did.

630
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:52,718
Ribeiro: Well, it's official.

631
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,920
This is the last time
Mom picks up flour

632
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,955
with kids in the car.

633
00:26:00,626 --> 00:26:03,695
I was just
cleaning your car.

634
00:26:04,196 --> 00:26:07,833
Woman: Not just here.

635
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:14,039
Everywhere.

636
00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:16,742
[ Applause ]

637
00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:20,279
It's time for Versus.

638
00:26:20,279 --> 00:26:23,148
Join us as "Dudes who'd never
make it as a lumberjack"

639
00:26:23,148 --> 00:26:25,050
take on
"Overeating baby dogs

640
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:27,252
throwing their balance
out of whack."

641
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,888
[ Bell dings ]
Tonight on Versus...

642
00:26:34,493 --> 00:26:37,963
The cutters are up first with
some poor branch management.

643
00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:41,033
♪♪

644
00:26:41,033 --> 00:26:43,235
[ Man groans ]

645
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:46,939
Ribeiro: The puppies strike back
with a mini Pug unplugged.

646
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,142
Woman: Ohh!

647
00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:51,343
Ribeiro:
And wait a minute!

648
00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:54,746
This guy stinks,
but he still gets a raise.

649
00:26:54,746 --> 00:26:57,616
♪♪

650
00:26:57,616 --> 00:27:01,820
For this Boston Terrier,
eating couldn't get any hairier.

651
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:04,156
♪♪

652
00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:06,191
These dudes knock the tree
to the ground...

653
00:27:06,191 --> 00:27:08,093
but it still won't go down.

654
00:27:08,093 --> 00:27:10,729
[ Woman laughing ]

655
00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:14,199
Raise your butt in the air...

656
00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:16,134
and end up way over there!

657
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:18,136
[ Woman laughs ]

658
00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:19,972
This guy using a pulley...

659
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:21,807
ends up looking silly!

660
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:23,976
♪♪

661
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,911
Fly, tree dude, fly!

662
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:30,582
♪♪

663
00:27:30,582 --> 00:27:35,821
The puppies have one last chance
to make a mess of things.

664
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,022
Is it enough?

665
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:41,093
And the winner is...
[ Bell dings ]

666
00:27:41,093 --> 00:27:43,061
guys who stink at tree-cutting!

667
00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:51,203
♪♪

668
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:55,073
Join us next week when
the lumberjacks take on...

669
00:27:55,073 --> 00:27:57,209
Grandmas thrilled
with their new hairdo's.

670
00:27:57,209 --> 00:28:00,145
Woman: This is the hairdo
that Cece gave Mimi.

671
00:28:00,145 --> 00:28:02,514
Ribeiro: On Versus!

672
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:09,021
Now it's time for
a little bathroom humor.

673
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,489
I don't mean
inappropriate jokes.

674
00:28:10,489 --> 00:28:13,125
I mean things that literally
happened in the bathroom.

675
00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,393
It's totally clean.

676
00:28:14,393 --> 00:28:16,828
Like "just took a bath
in the bathroom" clean.

677
00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:17,996
[ Chuckles ]

678
00:28:17,996 --> 00:28:23,068
♪♪

679
00:28:23,068 --> 00:28:24,770
Ohh!

680
00:28:24,770 --> 00:28:26,204
♪♪

681
00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:28,040
[ Woman and man shriek ]

682
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,775
[ Laughter ]

683
00:28:29,775 --> 00:28:31,210
♪♪

684
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:32,978
[ Girls squeal ]

685
00:28:32,978 --> 00:28:38,083
♪♪

686
00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:43,255
♪♪

687
00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:45,023
[ Laughter ]

688
00:28:45,023 --> 00:28:47,092
♪♪

689
00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:48,226
[ Whoosh ]

690
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:53,999
♪♪

691
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:55,867
[ Screams ]

692
00:28:55,867 --> 00:29:02,808
♪♪

693
00:29:02,808 --> 00:29:03,976
[ Child screams ]

694
00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:09,881
♪♪

695
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:15,787
♪♪

696
00:29:15,787 --> 00:29:17,189
[ Screams ]

697
00:29:17,189 --> 00:29:23,395
♪♪

698
00:29:23,395 --> 00:29:27,032
Got a funny video?
Upload it to AFV.com.

699
00:29:37,075 --> 00:29:38,810
[ Applause ]

700
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:42,180
♪♪

701
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:45,217
I'm tired of people saying,
"Agree to disagree,"

702
00:29:45,217 --> 00:29:46,385
when they're just wrong.

703
00:29:46,385 --> 00:29:48,587
You could say,
"Agree to disagree,"

704
00:29:48,587 --> 00:29:49,688
if we disagree on

705
00:29:49,688 --> 00:29:52,190
"greatest band"
or "best pizza topping."

706
00:29:52,190 --> 00:29:54,226
But when you say,
"The square root of 100

707
00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:58,163
is 8 million and 60 hamburger,"
you're just plain wrong!

708
00:29:58,163 --> 00:30:00,899
Now here are some videos,
whether you agree or not.

709
00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:02,567
"Hamburger." Shoot!

710
00:30:03,235 --> 00:30:06,905
We're very upset
you threw out the cake.

711
00:30:06,905 --> 00:30:09,207
We're brerry upset!

712
00:30:09,207 --> 00:30:13,145
You threw it out.
Out --

713
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,113
Cake.

714
00:30:15,113 --> 00:30:16,448
Ribeiro:
Dad better pick up a cake,

715
00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:19,785
or this will go on
'til that kid's out of diapers.

716
00:30:19,785 --> 00:30:20,786
Woman: Rude.

717
00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:21,887
That's rude!

718
00:30:24,022 --> 00:30:25,424
That bad!

719
00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:27,125
Ribeiro:
Airport photo bomb!

720
00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:28,760
Cheese.

721
00:30:32,931 --> 00:30:33,965
I don't know.

722
00:30:37,402 --> 00:30:39,338
Ribeiro:
To catch a wave, you gotta get

723
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,973
a lot closer to the waves.

724
00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:43,975
[ Man groans ]

725
00:30:43,975 --> 00:30:45,377
♪♪

726
00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:47,179
An actor.
Really short.

727
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,081
No!
Yes.

728
00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:51,049
I don't know that one.

729
00:30:51,049 --> 00:30:52,350
Oh!
Another actor that...

730
00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:53,885
Dah.
Yes!

731
00:30:53,885 --> 00:30:55,520
Ribeiro: He can't even talk, and
he's better than me at trivia!

732
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,222
He says,
"Oh, this is --"
Dah!

733
00:30:57,222 --> 00:30:58,390
Yes!

734
00:30:58,390 --> 00:31:00,358
Alright.
Oh, it's a comedy --

735
00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:02,227
Yo!
Yes!

736
00:31:02,227 --> 00:31:04,496
Woman: Good job!
Good job!

737
00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:08,100
Woman: I thought I would try
one of those charcoal

738
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:11,536
tooth scrub things
for my health.

739
00:31:12,304 --> 00:31:14,106
[Laughing] I tried to --

740
00:31:14,106 --> 00:31:16,241
I tried to open it.

741
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,777
Look at my hands. I'm shaking.

742
00:31:18,777 --> 00:31:20,545
[ Laughs ]

743
00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:25,150
This is the dumbest thing
I have ever done. Officially.

744
00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:27,252
Alright. Are we ready for this?

745
00:31:27,252 --> 00:31:29,921
I can't even believe I'm gonna
show you this right now.

746
00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:33,792
[ Sighs ]

747
00:31:34,359 --> 00:31:37,362
[Laughing]
Look at my face.

748
00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:41,933
I look like --
I look like a busted wrestler.

749
00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:49,608
Ribeiro: You know
what the world needs now?

750
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,182
My roller skate...

751
00:31:57,182 --> 00:31:59,117
It like...

752
00:31:59,117 --> 00:32:01,753
The wheel like...

753
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,189
I'm good.

754
00:32:04,189 --> 00:32:05,991
Ribeiro:
I hope you've enjoyed...

755
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,600
I was in a pharmacy
the other day

756
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,436
and I noticed a lot of products
for problems that are,

757
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:20,405
shall we say,
slightly embarrassing,

758
00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:23,275
and yet the people on the boxes
always look like this.

759
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,110
[ Laughter ]
I mean, come on.

760
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,312
If anything, the picture
should look like this.

761
00:32:27,312 --> 00:32:29,247
"Stop taking my picture!"

762
00:32:29,247 --> 00:32:30,615
I mean, not that I'd know.

763
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,485
I mean, nothing embarrassing
ever happens to me. Heh.

764
00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:35,554
-You sure it's...
-I'm gonna fall on you!

765
00:32:35,554 --> 00:32:37,055
Go!

766
00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:40,125
Ribeiro: Her lack of confidence
matches her lack of ability.

767
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:41,927
Child: Let's go!

768
00:32:41,927 --> 00:32:43,128
[ Woman screams ]

769
00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:45,597
[ Laughter ]

770
00:32:49,034 --> 00:32:51,937
[ Door thuds ]

771
00:32:51,937 --> 00:32:53,705
[ Door thuds ]

772
00:32:58,877 --> 00:33:00,045
Aah!

773
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:02,013
Ribeiro:
Sometimes your purpose in life

774
00:33:02,013 --> 00:33:04,249
is just to serve
as a warning to others.

775
00:33:04,249 --> 00:33:08,186
Don't go down the stairs!
Don't go down the stairs!

776
00:33:08,186 --> 00:33:10,989
Don't go down
the stairs!

777
00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,324
Okay. What's wrong?

778
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:15,160
Man: Look at you.
It's icy?

779
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,028
Boy: Yes, sir.
Okay.

780
00:33:19,097 --> 00:33:22,267
Even if I would have
held on...

781
00:33:22,267 --> 00:33:24,002
Yeah, like that.

782
00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:26,938
Okay.

783
00:33:29,975 --> 00:33:38,483
♪♪

784
00:33:38,483 --> 00:33:41,820
Ribeiro: She's as graceful
as she is beautiful.

785
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:49,361
♪♪

786
00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:53,164
In his defense, he's used to
cleaning a much bigger bus.

787
00:33:53,164 --> 00:33:58,770
♪♪

788
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:03,341
♪♪

789
00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:05,210
She's probably not the only one

790
00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:08,079
who wishes tattoos
were that easy to remove.

791
00:34:08,079 --> 00:34:12,117
Can you help me, Mom?
You try it.

792
00:34:12,117 --> 00:34:14,953
It won't come off?
Ready?

793
00:34:14,953 --> 00:34:20,392
♪♪

794
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,160
[ Indistinct conversation ]

795
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:23,962
Ribeiro:
I think he's thrown off-balance

796
00:34:23,962 --> 00:34:25,897
by his super awesome pony-hawk.

797
00:34:27,032 --> 00:34:28,900
[ Man grunts ]

798
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:31,403
Took a tumble?
Yeah.

799
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:34,839
Horses. Such dignified
and majestic creatures.

800
00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:36,007
[ Fart ]

801
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,909
[ Laughter ]

802
00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:45,050
We're so close to finding out
who wins the 100 grand,

803
00:34:45,050 --> 00:34:46,584
I'm on pins and needles!

804
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:49,554
Of course, that could just mean
that my shoes are too tight.

805
00:34:49,554 --> 00:34:51,556
But, either way, I can't wait
to see what happens.

806
00:34:51,556 --> 00:34:54,859
We'll find out who wins
after the break. Don't go away.

807
00:34:54,859 --> 00:34:57,662
[ Applause ]

808
00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:03,134
Welcome back!

809
00:35:03,134 --> 00:35:05,170
I have that magical feeling
I only get

810
00:35:05,170 --> 00:35:07,305
when I'm close
to giving away $100,000.

811
00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:09,074
And it's a good thing
I work here --

812
00:35:09,074 --> 00:35:11,076
otherwise, whenever I got
that magical feeling,

813
00:35:11,076 --> 00:35:13,278
I'd have to give away
my own money, and, mnh.

814
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:17,148
So here's one last look
at tonight's finalists.

815
00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:19,117
Hello?

816
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:21,119
Hello?

817
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,221
Hello?!

818
00:35:23,221 --> 00:35:26,358
Oh. [ Laughs ]

819
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:29,160
I gotta get boots.
Open the garage, please.

820
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,029
Hey, hey.

821
00:35:31,029 --> 00:35:33,365
Oh, no, this is bad.

822
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:35,200
-Oh, my --
-Oh, my God.

823
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,869
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

824
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:39,237
Ohh!

825
00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:44,109
Man: Oh, wow.
Whatcha doing here?

826
00:35:44,109 --> 00:35:46,111
Hey. [ Whistles ]
Woman: What?

827
00:35:46,111 --> 00:35:48,146
Oh, my goodness.

828
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,648
[ Laughter ]

829
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:54,019
[ Dog barking,
woman screaming ]

830
00:35:54,019 --> 00:35:55,220
No! No!

831
00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:57,322
[ Woman screaming ]

832
00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,959
Woman: Stop it!
[ Screaming ]

833
00:36:03,061 --> 00:36:04,229
Man: Are you okay?
Nope.

834
00:36:04,229 --> 00:36:05,330
What's wrong?

835
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,265
Woman:
No. Her water broke.

836
00:36:07,265 --> 00:36:09,200
I think we need to go
to the hospital, don't we?

837
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,703
Yeah, but we got
to call her first.

838
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:16,174
Okay. April what?

839
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,576
April.
Last name is Fools.

840
00:36:19,778 --> 00:36:21,713
[ Laughter ]

841
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,816
[ Kids screaming ]

842
00:36:27,085 --> 00:36:28,787
Woman: Hey!

843
00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:33,258
[ Classical music playing ]

844
00:36:33,258 --> 00:36:34,826
[ Honking ]

845
00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:35,927
[ Woman gasps ]

846
00:36:40,065 --> 00:36:42,033
[ Woman laughs ]

847
00:36:43,301 --> 00:36:45,303
Babe, you are joking.
Will you marry me?

848
00:36:45,303 --> 00:36:49,040
[ Gasps ] You're
kidding me right now!

849
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,676
Are you serious?

850
00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,044
Yes.

851
00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:54,112
Oh.

852
00:36:54,112 --> 00:36:56,848
[ Laughter ]

853
00:36:56,848 --> 00:36:58,183
Oh, the chipmunk!

854
00:36:58,183 --> 00:36:59,250
Woman: Babe.

855
00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:00,919
[ Cat growls ]

856
00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:01,986
Give it -- No!

857
00:37:01,986 --> 00:37:04,122
Come back here!

858
00:37:04,122 --> 00:37:06,191
Give me that back!

859
00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:09,094
Give it to me! Give -- No!

860
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:21,940
I was just
cleaning your car.

861
00:37:23,341 --> 00:37:25,243
We've seen all ten finalists.

862
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:27,312
Who will win the $100,000?

863
00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:29,347
We recently went to
the Walt Disney World Resort

864
00:37:29,347 --> 00:37:32,150
in Florida where guests voted
to determine the winner,

865
00:37:32,150 --> 00:37:34,419
and now we'll reveal
the top three vote-getters.

866
00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,354
That's right --
the $100,000 winner

867
00:37:36,354 --> 00:37:39,424
is one of these three clips.

868
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:42,193
Here they are,
in no particular order.

869
00:37:42,193 --> 00:37:45,029
♪♪

870
00:37:45,029 --> 00:37:46,131
First up, it's...

871
00:37:46,131 --> 00:37:47,465
"Water Bottle Blunder"

872
00:37:47,465 --> 00:37:50,869
sent in by Laura Seifert
from Excelsior, Minnesota!

873
00:37:50,869 --> 00:37:52,103
[ Applause ]

874
00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:53,505
Next up, it's "Downward Dogs"

875
00:37:53,505 --> 00:37:57,208
sent in by Robert Durham
from Renton, Washington.

876
00:37:57,208 --> 00:37:59,110
[ Applause ]

877
00:37:59,110 --> 00:38:01,346
And finally,
it's "Petting Zoo Spew"

878
00:38:01,346 --> 00:38:05,016
sent in by Jen Short
from Sterling, Virginia.

879
00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:08,052
[ Applause ]

880
00:38:08,052 --> 00:38:09,554
That's our final three.

881
00:38:09,554 --> 00:38:12,524
Is it what you predicted or did
someone have to restrain you

882
00:38:12,524 --> 00:38:15,126
from throwing tortilla chips
at the screen

883
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:16,494
because your favorite
didn't make it?

884
00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:18,630
Well, we'll reveal the winner
in just a moment,

885
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:21,566
but first, let's recap
just a few of the many things

886
00:38:21,566 --> 00:38:26,371
we've learned during the first
half of the season, shall we?

887
00:38:26,371 --> 00:38:28,039
We've learned that nobody likes

888
00:38:28,039 --> 00:38:30,608
having their lunch
break cut short.

889
00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:34,846
Come on, man!

890
00:38:34,846 --> 00:38:42,153
♪♪

891
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:44,088
You have to --
You have to kiss me

892
00:38:44,088 --> 00:38:45,490
for the wedding photo
like that.

893
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:47,325
We've learned
that the only safe dips

894
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,294
are the ones
you dip your chips in.

895
00:38:49,294 --> 00:38:52,163
-Ohh!
-Aah! Ow!

896
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:55,133
-You're killing him!
-God!

897
00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:58,570
Ha ha!

898
00:38:58,570 --> 00:39:01,172
We've learned that a babysitter
can never relax,

899
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,741
especially when the kid
has a wicked fastball!

900
00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:09,047
What was that?

901
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:11,182
We've learned three
simple things --

902
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,751
Ramps. Don't. Work.

903
00:39:25,330 --> 00:39:28,066
Woman:
So I go upstairs to get dressed,
and there's all these boxes...

904
00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:29,901
We've learned that you
never turn your back

905
00:39:29,901 --> 00:39:32,203
on a toddler
with a hose.

906
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:35,139
Woman:
Ohh! Ohh! No! No!

907
00:39:35,139 --> 00:39:36,908
[ Laughing ]

908
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:39,811
-No! Stop! Stop!
-Stop!

909
00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:40,945
Turn it off!

910
00:39:42,347 --> 00:39:44,282
We've learned that
taking out the trash

911
00:39:44,282 --> 00:39:46,985
isn't always the boring chore
we think it is.

912
00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:48,720
[ Bear growls ]

913
00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:56,261
Funny stuff.

914
00:39:56,261 --> 00:39:58,263
I'll bet half of you
didn't realize

915
00:39:58,263 --> 00:40:00,331
how educational this show was.

916
00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:02,500
And I'll bet the other half
very briefly considered

917
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,602
changing the channel
when I said the word "learned."

918
00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:06,070
Ha ha!

919
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:09,140
But now it's finally time
to get down to the nitty-gritty

920
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:13,177
and crown tonight's
$100,000 winner.

921
00:40:13,177 --> 00:40:15,013
Will it be
"Water Bottle Blunder"...

922
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,948
[ Cheers and applause ]

923
00:40:16,948 --> 00:40:18,082
..."Downward Dogs"...

924
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:19,350
[ Cheers and applause ]

925
00:40:19,350 --> 00:40:22,220
...or will it be
"Petting Zoo Spew"?

926
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:23,955
[ Cheers and applause ]

927
00:40:23,955 --> 00:40:25,356
Tonight's funniest video

928
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:29,360
and the winner
of the $100,000 is...

929
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,130
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

930
00:40:32,130 --> 00:40:38,202
♪♪

931
00:40:38,202 --> 00:40:41,005
[ Drum roll ]

932
00:40:41,005 --> 00:40:42,340
..."Water Bottle Blunder"

933
00:40:42,340 --> 00:40:45,243
sent in by Laura Seifert
from Excelsior, Minnesota!

934
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:49,814
We have Rita, Ninfa, and Laura!

935
00:40:49,814 --> 00:40:51,382
Alright!

936
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:55,386
Come on down here!
Congratulations!

937
00:40:55,386 --> 00:40:58,289
I'm so happy that you didn't
decide to upload your clip

938
00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:01,359
to us through your
water bottle, right?

939
00:41:01,359 --> 00:41:04,295
But did you ever imagine
your video going this far

940
00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,130
when you sent it to us?
No. No.

941
00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:08,900
No, no. Oh, God.

942
00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:11,269
What a blessing.
Yes.

943
00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:16,040
And I thank you all
so very, very much.

944
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,408
Right on. Right on.
Now, Ninfa...

945
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:20,411
when I asked what you were gonna
do with the $20,000,

946
00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:22,513
you said that you were
gonna think about it.

947
00:41:22,513 --> 00:41:26,484
But now that you've won
$120,000, we need to know.

948
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:29,087
What are you gonna do
with all that money?

949
00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:33,157
Well, I'm gonna go see
my cousins in Sicily.

950
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:35,226
Ahh.
In Italy.

951
00:41:35,226 --> 00:41:37,261
Well, I am so happy.
And you know what?

952
00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:40,865
We'll see you back here
for our Grand Prize finale.

953
00:41:40,865 --> 00:41:42,233
Oh.

954
00:41:42,233 --> 00:41:45,069
Alright?
Oh, so good.

955
00:41:45,069 --> 00:41:47,004
[ Cheers and applause ]

956
00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:48,473
Well, that's our show.

957
00:41:48,473 --> 00:41:51,509
I think by now you realize
that the real prize

958
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:54,245
was the friends
we made along the way...

959
00:41:54,245 --> 00:41:56,414
except for the family
whose real prize

960
00:41:56,414 --> 00:41:58,383
was the 100 grand
they made along the way, yeah.

961
00:41:58,383 --> 00:42:00,351
We'll see you next time.
And don't forget --

962
00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:02,253
if you upload a video
and it airs on the show,

963
00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:04,155
we'll send you an AFV T-shirt.

964
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:05,456
So good night everybody
and remember --

965
00:42:05,456 --> 00:42:08,159
send your video to me,
you might win 20 G's.

966
00:42:08,159 --> 00:42:09,227
Good night, y'all!

967
00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:11,763
[ Cheers and applause ]

968
00:42:11,763 --> 00:42:18,169
♪♪

969
00:42:18,169 --> 00:42:21,739
-- Captions by VITAC --

970
00:42:21,739 --> 00:42:29,881
♪♪

971
00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:38,022
♪♪

972
00:42:38,022 --> 00:42:46,130
♪♪

973
00:42:46,130 --> 00:42:54,772
♪♪