Ribeiro: Here's a taste of tonight's "AFV,"
and it tastes funny.
[ Glass shatters ]
Dawg it!
[ People screaming ]
[ Woman laughing ]
Don't you dare smack my pizza!
For this next setting...
Ahh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome to...
And now, here he is, the host of our show --
Alfonso Ribeiro!
Come on, let's go!
Thank you, all. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Hello, and welcome.
I love this show because anyone can win,
and I can relate, because before I hosted my other show,
"Dancing with the Stars," I was a contestant.
And after dancing hours a day for three grueling months,
I won the mirror-ball trophy.
And on this show, people send in a 10-second video
and win 20 grand. Wait a minute.
I'm starting to think I competed on the wrong show.
Fish-eye lens, meet snake-tongue freakout.
Aah!
Whoo!
♪♪
Let me cheese.
Ribeiro: You shouldn't have shown him
that nature special of mama birds feeding their babies.
Woman: Hey, on the tacos.
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: You mean something went wrong in your game of
"give a kid an axe to throw at a target near a window"?
Whaaat?
[ Glass shatters ]
Woman: Did he just break a window?
Oh, my!
I'm sorry.
[ Gasps ]
Ribeiro: Pounds aren't the only thing she'll be shedding.
[ Woman laughs ]
Man: Oh! [ Laughs ]
It's like a fairy tale.
Ribeiro: It's a marriage proposal.
But might I propose proposing on dry land?
Oh, my God!
Aah! [ Motor revving ]
He bought that for hunting.
But he found plenty of use for it in the off-season.
[ Roars ] [ Screams ]
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Woman: Are you getting your baby to go to sleep?
Ribeiro: Maybe don't give her
the "Mother of the Year" award just yet.
[ Thud ]
[ Woman laughs ]
[ Screaming ]
Help! [ Screams ]
Ribeiro: Her husband is so concerned,
he almost stops brushing his teeth.
Put it out!
Release the hounds.
It's time to go to the...
[ Dog barking ]
All that porch, and this is where they put his house?
[ Barking ]
What the hell, Booger?
Woman: Give that to me. Stop eating my money.
This dog took a $100 bill,
now he's got a $5 bill and he's ripping it to -- Coco!
Drop it now. I can't believe you.
Coco, I'm not playing with you.
Coco Puff Man, give me my money!
Ribeiro: After all the money you've spent on him,
what's 5 more bucks?
Woman: I can't believe this.
I cannot believe I'm chasing a dog around
with my money in his mouth.
Drop it.
Give me my money.
Ready? Ready?
Ribeiro: "First he put me in this stupid sweater,
then he drags me out in this cold,
then he tosses one of them disappearing balls."
[ Laughter ]
Some dogs wait for you to toss them the ball.
some dogs don't need your stinkin' help.
Woman: Good boy.
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: Sure, your dog went to obedience school,
but has he had media training?
Woman: Do it again. Let's see if he gets mad.
[ Growling ]
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: The prizes in my cereal are never this cute.
♪♪
[ Crunching ]
Ribeiro: He likes that table.
He just thinks it would look better in the other room.
♪♪
This clip shows that despite the odds,
you should never give up.
Sorry, I was -- I was thinking of another clip.
[ Laughter ]
Kids -- they're little people,
but they're a huge part of our show.
We love 'em so much, we crammed as many as we could
into this next minute, montage-style.
♪ Yeah, I'm on a roll, on a roll ♪
♪ It's like everywhere I go, I feel right at home ♪
♪ I wake up, go get it, oh, what a feeling ♪
♪ The coolest when I do it, and I always get chilly ♪
♪ And it feels good to be me right now ♪
♪ It feels good to be me, oh, yeah ♪
♪ It feels good to be me right now ♪
♪ It feels good to be me, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Jump out of bed with a mission in mind ♪
♪ I'm thinking take over the world one day at a time ♪
♪ I feel like you gotta get yours and I'ma get mine ♪
♪ I got 99 problems but I am 100% fine ♪
♪ My life is G-OO-D now ♪
♪ A calculator outside couldn't tap me out ♪
♪ I ball hard, if I miss, I get my rebound ♪
♪ I gotta bounce when that honey call ♪
♪ You know that I want it all ♪
♪ Can't nobody stop me 'cause I'm going places ♪
♪ Most of us shot for lack of more vacation ♪
♪ Things take time but I'm not gonna waste it ♪
♪ The sweet life, baby, I can taste it ♪
♪ Ah, yeah, I'm on a roll, on a roll ♪
♪ It's like everywhere I go, I feel right at home ♪
♪ I wake up, go get it, oh, what a feeling ♪
♪ The coolest when I do it, and I'm always really chilly ♪
♪ And it feels good to be me right now ♪
♪ It feels good to be me, oh, yeah ♪
♪ It feels good to be me right now ♪
♪ It feels good to be me, oh, yeah ♪
Oh!
♪ Yeah, I'm on a roll, on a roll, it's like... ♪
Do you have a funny video worth $20,000?
What are you waiting for? Upload it to AFV.com.
♪ And it feels good to be me right now ♪
♪ It feels good be me, oh, yeah ♪
♪ It feels good to be me ♪
Sometimes it seems like the world is against you,
like everyone and everything
is conspiring to prevent you from succeeding.
Well, Uncle Al's here to tell you...
yeah, it sure seems that way.
I've seen the evidence. You can't do anything right.
[ Laughter ]
A ladder. A pool.
Do I need to draw you a map?
[ Dogs barking ]
That settles it.
I'm putting in a hopscotch board for my delivery guy.
♪♪
Boys will be boys,
even when they're very young boys.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
Woman: Smokey says, "Oh, no.
I ain't going out there.
Nope.
Ribeiro: Smokey is more of
a "sit by the fireplace with a hot cup of cocoa" type of horse.
Woman: Try it again. Here I go.
Here I go. Here I -- Ohh! Can't do it.
Man: Have to say who's your best friend.
Uh...[whispering] Daddy.
I'm your best friend?
Yeah, but don't talk loud. No. Don't talk loud.
[ Softly] Don't talk loud? No.
Okay. Why?
'Cause -- no.
Because -- Because I don't want Mom to hear it.
You don't want Mom to hear it?
Yeah. But I'm your best friend.
No, no, no. Don't say it loud. No.
-[ Laughs ] Oh, my God. -Oh, my God.
[ Screams and laughter ]
Ribeiro: This is why I never order pizza from Iguanamo's.
[ Screams ]
♪♪
Uh, we live in a society
where everyone sees themselves as a star.
They think the rest of us exist just to take their picture
and spread it all over the internet
so the world can worship their image.
And if you think it's just human nature,
well, I got news for you.
It's not just humans.
[ Squawking ]
Come on, man, I'm on the phone!
[ Screeching ]
No! You can wait a minute.
I am trying to write an e-mail!
[ Continues screeching ]
Really? You look silly.
Yeah, you're silly.
What? [ Screeches ]
You're silly.
What?
You stop it. You're yelling. I'm right here.
Why you raising your voice?
I love you.
What? Aaaah!
For sure! Hello?
You're sorry? You better be sorry.
Sometimes you see something that makes you think,
"Why didn't anybody think of this sooner?"
Like making ketchup bottles with the lids on the bottom
so you store 'em upside down
and don't have to smack the bottle every time
you want a little ketchup.
Smart idea. Took forever.
Now, boneheaded ideas, however?
Those come around about twice every second.
That's a cattail.
But it looks too much like a corn dog not to give it a shot.
[ Laughter ]
Man: I told you it's nasty.
Oh! You saw that, too.
You saw that! Fun!
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: I've never seen someone so happy to be so clumsy.
Some dads just try to shed some pounds.
This one's about to shed a shed.
♪♪
The sword may be fake, but the damage is real.
[ Glass shatters ]
♪♪
Man: Those aren't going to hatch.
Come on.
Ribeiro: They say to never give up on your dreams.
Here's one dream she should give up on.
Man: Those aren't eggs.
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: I don't think the Lemonade Bucket Challenge
has quite the same hook as
the Ice Bucket Challenge.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I know it's weird, but in the age of streaming and DVRs,
I kinda miss commercials.
Fortunately, here at "AFV," we love commercials.
At least commercials of the fake variety.
So check out a word from our sponsor, who isn't really real,
but is really funny.
Has your dog put on a few pounds?
Does he suddenly find it difficult
to do the most basic things?
And if he does exercise, does he just phone it in,
making his workout all but worthless?
Well, if you need to find a way to get your canine some cardio,
call Dave's Discount Dog Walking.
At Dave's Discount Dog Walking, you can hire one of our friendly
and affordable dog walkers to walk your furry friend.
Our dog walkers come right to your house,
put a leash on your pooch, and head out for a walk.
It's just that easy.
What they lack in experience
they make up for in punctuality.
And what they lack in ability, they make up for in durability.
Prices start at a dollar an hour.
Why so cheap?
Well, let's say that we love dogs,
so it's the "leash" we can do.
Dave's Discount Dog Walking has the industry's
largest variety of dog walkers to choose from,
from kids to old people to athletic people
to people who can barely walk themselves.
We're also the home of
the Probably Won't Lose Your Dog Guarantee.
That means that we probably won't lose your dog
in case he pulls too hard and accidentally gets away.
But if he does, we guarantee we'll try and find a dog
that looks exactly like your dog to try to fool you.
So, call Dave's Discount Dog Walking today.
[ Dog barks ]
Remember, if you see someone attached to a hound
that's dragging 'em along the ground, just smile and say,
"Yep, that's Dave's for ya!"
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
There are so many reasons to have children.
Doing it so they say something cute enough to get on "AFV"
is not one of them.
But if you already have kids,
you might as well record everything they do
until they say something cute.
I mean, you already did the hard part,
and if your video wins $20,000, it might help pay for college.
Woman: What are you reading?
And what word were you looking up?
Why?
Because...
I just wanted to know if they have it in there.
Oh. Do you know what that is?
It's -- it's a suit you wear to court
if you've done something really bad.
Mm-hmm.
Man: What are you guys thankful for, for Thanksgiving?
I'm thankful for my sister.
Poached eggs? What else are you thankful for?
Woman: Guess what.
There is another baby in Mommy's belly --
a baby boy that's gonna be your brother.
[ Gasps and giggles ]
Oh, I love brothers!
-You do? -Yeah!
What -- What we name him?
Well, we're gonna name him Anthony Samuel.
How 'bout -- How 'bout we name him...
That's a little weird.
That's a name -- That's a name that I've never heard before.
Yeah, me neither.
[ Crying ]
Woman: Man, he's gonna become a good actor.
[ Continues crying ]
♪♪
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
Okay, thank you.
Man: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Um, a ninja engineer paleontologist
that also, um, studies science
and also teaches at school.
Woman: Okay, good.
And what do you want to be when you grow up?
A candy cane?
Woman: Isn't he cute?
He's really cute!
[ Laughter ]
It's really nice.
♪♪
Man: Hey, Ashlea, knock it off.
[ Ashlea cackles ]
Sorry about that. Delivery woman: You're fine.
[ Speaks indistinctly ] Thanks. You too.
Now, I'm not a gambling man.
The house always wins and the last time I checked,
I am not a house.
But sometimes a bet comes along
that even a sensible man such as myself can't refuse.
The odds are good that I'll like these odds.
It's time for...
You think "Always Keeps Her Cool Carol" isn't the worst nickname
this woman could possibly have? Huh!
I'll take that bet.
Aaaaaaah! Aaah!
[ Laughter ]
You think you can badger your husband for taking too long
in the bathroom and not expect him to seek revenge?
Huh! Care to wager?
Woman: Bill! Move!
Move! Bill!
Bill! Move my car!
You think you can pizza-smack the meal of a boy
who hates having his pizza smacked and escape unscathed?
Huh! I'll take that action.
[ Whines and screams ]
Don't you dare smack my pizza!
You think your vacation video was good enough
to land you a hosting gig on a wildlife show?
Come on, lay your money down.
[ Australian accent ] Oh, guys, look at this.
I can't believe it.
We're in Costa Rica, and it's a -- it's a Croc.
It's got huge teeth.
Oh, man, look at the size of it.
Massive.
Ribeiro: I'm up 'cause some crazy stuff went down.
This was...
I knew a lady who was so afraid of getting wrinkles,
she refused to smile.
Yeah. She thought smiling would give her wrinkles,
so she'd do her best to not move any part of her face.
If something funny happened, she would laugh like this.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Yeah, it was -- it was kinda freaky.
Freaky, okay?
So here are some videos that will make most of you laugh
and will make that lady go like this.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Pool has trick shots.
This guy decided bowling should, too.
♪♪
Somehow, I don't think this is the first time he's tried this.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
The person in the T-rex costume
is going to wish it had longer arms.
[ Screams ]
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
It's not a raccoon trap.
But he turned it into one.
♪♪
Can we play through...
your new SUV?
Man: Oh, no!
♪♪
I'm confused. If the egg is raw it means...
they're having an omelet?
All: Ohhhhhhh!
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
A teacher once told me, "Always enjoy your age."
It's good advice.
Don't wish to be older when you're young,
and don't wish to be younger when you're old.
Enjoy the things you can do at the age you are,
and you'll never stop loving life.
Hey, so fortunately, funny videos are fun
no matter how old you are,
so enjoy these, whatever your age.
[ Dance music plays ]
Dance like you've never danced before,
or at least like you've never danced
near a glass table before.
[ Glass shatters ]
♪♪
Okay, that was one of those "Funniest Home Video" things.
Man: How you making out?
Good. Thanks.
[ Laughs ]
You keep going, buddy. You're almost there.
Ribeiro: Okay, they got the squirrel in the crate.
Turns out, that was the easy part.
Child: Dad, he's in.
♪♪
[ Cage bangs ]
Man: Oh! [ Woman screams ]
Woman: So I came to my living room today...
Ribeiro: After spending thousands on a PR firm,
stink bugs have decided to rebrand themselves
as juggle bugs.
Woman: I have never seen such a thing.
Stink bugs have been so bad this year.
You're pretty talented, man.
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: Ugh! He distinctly ordered his soda with no ice.
♪♪
Woman: You gonna go parallel park?
Ribeiro: Really?
Most adults I know can't parallel park.
♪♪
[ Applause ]
♪♪
It's time for "Versus."
Join us as kitties that make large forest creatures run
take on bakers who should have considered wearing a bun.
[ Bell dings ] Tonight on "Versus"...
The girls strike first with a follicle frenzy.
if you need to --
Oh, my gosh. Oh! Oh! Geez.
You okay? Yeah. Ow. Ow.
Ribeiro: But scaring bears is easy as one, two, "tree."
[ Cat hisses ]
Woman: Oh, look, Sly's taking after...
Oh, my God.
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: Vlogging while baking
is the mistake that she's making.
Ow!
Ribeiro: And when the cat smacks the glass,
the bear runs away fast.
Her hair is in the batter. That's what's the matter.
Woman: Your hair's in there, Brea.
Oh, stop.
Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: When cat meets bear, bear runs way over there.
Run, bear, run!
She'll need a professional hair fixer
when her locks meet the mixer.
[ Screaming ]
And what's this?
The bears know they're losing, so they send in an imposter.
[ Hissing ] Could this possibly fool the judges?
And the winner is...
[ Bell dings ]
...girls with mixers stuck in their hair.
Join us next time when the chopped coifs take on...
...on "Versus."
Whenever you have a problem, it's comforting to know
that you're not the first person to go through
what you're going through,
unless you're these next people who've managed to find a problem
that almost no one in the history of the planet
has experienced.
Congratulations, I-I guess?
Man: You got a friend there, Mom.
I know. He won't leave, either.
Look. I spin him around and he thinks it's a carnival ride.
Shoo. Shoo. Go away. Go away.
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: Maybe this bird just wants to make sure she returns
her shopping cart to the designated area.
He's coming back. Oh!
Oh, my! Get away!
Get away! Go!
Oh, my goodness.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
Ribeiro: This mini bike almost gives him a mini skirt.
Woman: You got some shorts. [ Laughs ]
♪♪
[ Indistinct talking ]
Ribeiro: Not every kid has to deal with
a Bigfoot with a balloon bouquet.
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
Oh.
Is that a tooth?
Oh, my God.
I don't even like finding a stray chopped peanut
in my ice cream.
Is that your tooth? No.
Shut up.
This ain't my tooth.
Shut -- It has to be your tooth.
I promise it's not my tooth.
It sure is a rocky road traveling with this guy.
No.
[ Laughing ] Please tell me you're lyin'.
I'm not lyin'!
I don't think it's mine.
I can't eat this.
You just made me throw my ice cream cone out!
[ Laughter ]
Ride with a cow on your lap, they said.
It'll be fun, they said.
Oh! She's peeing on me!
Oh! [ Man speaks indistinctly ]
It's warm. Oh!
It's on my butt.
Oh, Jesse, hurry. Oh!
Woman: Look, they have it, Josie.
You don't always get what you want on Christmas,
which includes strangers showing up in your living room.
Man: The basement looks good.
Hello. How are you?
I can't be in the -- can't be. I'm sorry.
Oh, God! I have the wrong house. Sorry about that.
-That's all right. -Who's that?
-I don't know. -They're for next door.
They're always doing that.
Man: Well, glad I got that on camera, huh?
Opera -- it's not for everyone.
But if you sync opera music to people and animals
jumping up and down and falling,
then it's suddenly a whole lot better.
Just imagine if Mozart had funny videos
or Verdi or -- or -- um... uh, I don't know.
You know what? You name an opera guy,
'cause I don't -- I don't...
[ Rossini's "Largo al Factotum" plays ]
♪♪
Got a funny video? Upload it to AFV.com.
♪♪
Hey, Alfonso! Hey, Alfonso.
Together: We want to see some more goat videos.
Ha! Okay, Parker and Mason,
you wanna see some more goat videos?
Well, here's some that aren't baaaaaaaaad.
[ Indistinct talking ]
Woman: Yeah, that's his tail, huh?
[ Goat farts ]
Oh! [ Laughs ]
[ Bleating ]
[ Woman laughing ]
Ribeiro: That's goat-speak for "scram."
[ Spits and bleats ]
[ Woman laughs ]
[ Bleating ]
♪♪
[ Spits and bleats ]
Nice, too.
Ribeiro: This is how you ask for more food in goat.
There's your buddy.
Man: Look at the paw!
Did you see the paw? Come on!
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
♪♪
This goat is definitely the GOAT of sneaking up on people.
[ Both screaming ]
♪♪
Woman: It's trying to suck his fingers.
[ Laughs ]
That thing's so cute,
the little boy just wants to eat him up.
[ People screaming and laughing ]
And laughing at fainting goats is as easy as one...
[ Laughter ]
...two...
[ Laughter ]
...three!
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God! -That was so awesome!
Woman: That was awesome.
♪♪
Ribeiro: You know what the world needs now?
♪♪
Ow!
[ Laughing ] Owww!
Ribeiro: I hope you've enjoyed...
♪♪
It's scary how much you can learn about someone
by hopping on one of their devices
to see what they're into.
I wonder how many first dates turn into last dates
when a woman sees a guy's homepage is nothing
but get-rich-quick schemes? [ Chuckles ]
That's why you should watch our videos on all of your devices.
When someone sees you're into funny videos and cute puppies,
they'll know you're a keeper.
He got that club for Christmas
and he's not waiting till spring to use it.
[ Glass shatters ]
Dawg it!
To be fair, the truck usually parks on the street.
♪♪
They should use those storage bins to store
all their terrible ideas.
Aaah!
[ Laughs ]
Woman: Would you rather eat a caterpillar
or an ant?
Why?
What?!
I've ate an ant before.
How? When? Why?
I don't know!
Ribeiro: I don't know what VR game he's playing,
but I hope it pairs well with a nice pinot noir.
[ Bottles clattering ]
Ohhhhh!
Woman: Come here.
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: This might be the first time Pretzel wants a bath.
[ Laughter ]
Woman: Oh, my gosh!
Ribeiro: He has a technique to flip every burger
at the same time.
♪♪
Hard to believe there could be a mouse
in a space this immaculate.
[ Screams ]
[ Applause ]
America, as you know, once a show, someone says,
"Hey, Alfonso" and puts in their video request.
Well, my request, is...
that you keep giving us your requests.
That's why, "Hey, Alfonso" is tonight's "Assignment America."
Do you have a penchant for parrots?
Are you partial to playgrounds?
Well get yourself on video saying, "Hey, Alfonso,"
followed by what you'd like to see.
Need some examples? Take a peek.
Hey, Alfonso, show us some more...
Magic videos!
Hey, Alfonso!
I want to see more funny piano videos!
[ Discordant notes play ]
Hey, Alfonso!
I'd like to see more videos of...
people being oblivious.
It's just that easy, so get us your "Hey, Alfonsos."
Jess?
Wanna see falls in the snow? Let Alfonso know.
Are boneheads your bag? Well, you won't be a nag.
Just tell us what you want to see.
If you're creative and clever enough,
your "Hey, Alfonso" could even earn you 20 or 100 G's
for telling us what you wanna see.
Just upload the video to AFV.com.
For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
Now, get yourself on the show with a, "Hey, Alfonso!"
♪♪
We've seen funny videos. Some were notorious.
And now we'll find out who'll be victorious.
Let's meet our finalists.
First up, I like to play in snow whenever I'm able,
but when this colt sees some flurries,
he runs back to the stable.
It's "Horse Snow No-Go," sent in by Laura McGilvery
from Flushing, Michigan.
Woman: Smokey says, "Oh, no.
I ain't going out there."
Ribeiro: Smokey is more of
a "sit by the fireplace with a hot cup of cocoa" type of horse.
Woman: Try it again. Here I go.
Here I go. Here I -- Ohh! Can't do it.
Joining us are Laura and Keri.
Now, Keri, why was Smokey scared of the snow?
Uh, well, we didn't have snow yet here in northern Michigan
and it snowed overnight.
So then the next morning when he was going out,
I think the snow, like, magically appeared
and he had never seen it before.
And he ran up and down that aisle a couple times.
I thought that time that we were videoing
that he was actually going to go for it.
He didn't. [ Chuckles ]
Okay, well, is he okay with snow now?
Yes, he is.
The picture behind us is the same day.
He was out in the snow.
Oh, well, wonderful. You know what?
We're glad to hear that he lost his fear.
Right on. Okay, well, good luck.
Thank you. Thank you.
All right. All right.
Next up, he just wanted to send out an e-mail or two,
but you know who wasn't having it?
His pet cockatoo.
It's "Bird Wants a Word," sent in by Melissa Oskin
from New Market, Maryland.
You're silly.
What?
You stop it. You're yelling. I'm right here.
Why you raising your voice?
Joining us are, Melissa, Dwight, Hailey, and Tango.
Now, Dwight, I hear Tango's usually a good boy.
What do you think made him so angry in the video this time?
He was definitely a little jealous
that I was typing an e-mail for Hailey's teacher.
He didn't like that I wasn't giving him all the attention.
He just kinda felt your emotion, right?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, he definitely was attached to me emotionally,
typing that e-mail.
Okay, all right, well, you know what?
It's great that he's such an empathetic bird, okay?
Yeah.
All right, good luck.
Thank you. Thank you.
And finally, if you think that she's stumped,
you better be wary,
because she'll consult her trusty dictionary.
It's "Little Lawsuit Lady," sent in by Laura Simmons
from Smithtown, New York.
Woman: What are you reading?
And what word were you looking up?
Oh. Do you know what that is?
It's -- It's a suit you wear to court
if you've done something really bad.
Joining us are Laura, Dan, Lina, and Lucie.
So, Laura, do you think Lina is a future lawyer,
or does she just love dictionaries?
Oh, she's a future lawyer for sure.
[ Laughs ] Okay. Every day it's something new.
Very strong opinions.
Okay, I love that.
And Lina, do you know what lawsuit means now?
Something you wear to court...
Yeah?
...if you've done something bad.
Okay. All right. We'll accept it.
See, everyone? Reading pays off!
[ Laughs ] Good luck, y'all.
All right, we're gonna find out who takes home the cash
in just a minute, but first, let's take a look
at some of the clips that didn't make our top three
in tonight's "Honorable Mention."
♪♪
Ooh!
[ Slide-whistle plays ]
Whoa! Whoa!
Yee-haw!
[ Sword clanging ]
♪♪
Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes --
$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second,
and $4,000 for third.
Here we go.
Our third place, $4,000 winner is...
"Little Lawsuit Lady," sent in by Laura Simmons
from Smithtown, New York.
Thank you.
And the winner of the $20,000
and tonight's funniest home video is...
"Bird Wants a Word," sent in by Melissa Oskin
from New Market, Maryland.
We have Dwight, Melissa, Hailey, and Tango!
Yes! Congratulations!
Tango just feathered your nest with 20 grand.
Oh, gosh. Now, Tango is not the only animal in your house.
Fill us in on your pet situation.
[ Laughter ]
Go ahead. We have two dogs.
Uh, we have another bird, a Congo African Grey.
We have a cat, a Bengal cat.
We have a tarantula and also a bearded dragon.
All right, well, listen,
if you can get the rest of the pets in the house
to deliver comedy like Tango, you'll be set for life!
[ Laughter ]
All right, congratulations, guys.
You just won $20,000 and have a shot at a $100,000!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yes. Right on.
Well, that's it.
And I'm not gonna do that thing that bands do
where they pretend the show's over then go backstage
and make you clap for five minutes begging for an encore.
Nope, not happening here.
We'll see you next time, and don't forget,
if you upload a video and it airs on the show,
we'll send you an "AFV" T-shirt.
So goodnight, everybody, and remember --
send your video to me, you might win 20 G's.
Goodnight, y'all.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-- Captions by VITAC --
♪♪