1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,938 Ribeiro: Tonight on "AFV's" season premiere... 2 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:13,480 Man: Look out! Hey, hey, hey! 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,682 [ Screams ] 4 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,684 [ Meows ] 5 00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:24,491 A one, a two, a three, four, five! 6 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:28,028 ♪♪ 7 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,832 Welcome to "America's Funniest Home Videos. 8 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,367 And now here he is, 9 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,102 the host of our show, 10 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:40,107 Alfonso Ribeiro. 11 00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,475 Let's go. 12 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,011 ♪♪ 13 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,747 Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 14 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,516 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. 15 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:54,121 Hello, and welcome to our first show of season 35. 16 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:56,456 Yes. 17 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:59,026 Now, I trust all of you completed your 18 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,328 "how I spent my summer vacation" essays 19 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,096 and are ready to hand them in. -Yes. 20 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:05,232 No, no, no, no. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 21 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,101 But you can e-mail them to me. I'm kidding. 22 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,970 The only homework we'll ever give you 23 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:12,806 is to send in your videos like these people did. 24 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,079 Moms have a million things on their minds. 25 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,881 They can't remember every little detail 26 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,983 when they're driving their kids to school. 27 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:29,690 ♪♪ 28 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,759 Like the kid they're driving to school. 29 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,466 He keeps talking about that electric fence. 30 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,368 But someone's tired of the talk. 31 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:44,304 -...One. -No, no, no! 32 00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:46,473 [ Kids laughing ] 33 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:54,881 This is a job for scooter woman. 34 00:01:54,881 --> 00:02:02,055 ♪♪ 35 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:03,824 Woman: Who was the first president of the United States? 36 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:04,825 Man: George... 37 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,928 George Costanza. 38 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:11,732 Ribeiro: If that were true, we'd all have off for Festivus. 39 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:17,371 Even the golf ball wants him to quit. 40 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,878 Man: I got that. [ Laughter ] 41 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:29,383 I got that on video. 42 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,518 I got that. 43 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,589 Ribeiro: Don't bother pulling the SUV out 44 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,691 of the garage to fully extend that ladder 45 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,127 before you go up in the attic or nothing. 46 00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,562 That would have taken 20 whole seconds. 47 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:48,368 ♪♪ 48 00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:54,207 ♪♪ 49 00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:57,210 Okay. I feel so bad. 50 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,379 Look at what my poor mother did. 51 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:02,716 She just cooked this beautiful meal 52 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,518 that's like Tuscan chicken 53 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,586 and this amazing sauce with a new olive oil 54 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,555 that she ordered from online. 55 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:12,692 This pure Greek olive oil that she had ordered online. 56 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:17,898 This delicious meal that she spent forever on. 57 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:22,536 And only after she finished did we discover 58 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,772 that it's shower gel. 59 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:29,543 She just had to leave the room because she's so angry. 60 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,412 Ribeiro: Well, at least the pan will be easy to clean. 61 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:36,049 The chicken tastes like straight-up soap. 62 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,751 How do you feel right now? 63 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,052 Like I want to hit someone. 64 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,821 I want to physically hurt someone 65 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,889 and hit something really hard. 66 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:46,193 Mama! 67 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,628 Mama! 68 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:49,930 Mama! 69 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:50,964 Woman: What? 70 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,467 Hi. 71 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,468 Hi. 72 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,274 How's this for the stars aligning in just about 73 00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,843 the coolest way possible? 74 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,045 As "AFV" celebrates our 35th season, 75 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,947 the Disneyland Resort is getting ready 76 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,883 to celebrate its 70th anniversary starting next year, 77 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,652 so it's pretty much going to be one big party. 78 00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,688 At the end of the season, 79 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,257 "AFV's" grand prize winner will experience the ultimate vacation 80 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,193 for eight people with a magical five-night stay 81 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:22,362 at the Disneyland Resort in California, 82 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:26,266 complete with a one-day VIP tour, character dining, 83 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,435 and a World of Color dessert party. 84 00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,004 Now, we'll see which video victor gets to go on 85 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,973 this magical vacation later in the season. 86 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,841 But for now, let's all head to a place 87 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,110 where there's plenty of party going on right now. 88 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,081 That's right, I'm talking about the "Dog Park." 89 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,415 Release the hounds. 90 00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,417 It's time to go to the "Dog Park." 91 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:52,058 Woman: What do we do when there's gophers? 92 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,927 Goodness. What about a squirrel? 93 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,263 Gopher. 94 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,098 Have you ever seen a squirrel? 95 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,900 Ribeiro: Once this video airs, 96 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,536 squirrels won't go anywhere near this house. 97 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,010 Woman: I wake up, my dog was in his cage, 98 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,878 so I closed the door. 99 00:05:11,878 --> 00:05:13,146 You know, it was late. 100 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,449 I don't know, I didn't see. It was dark. 101 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:37,437 I can't -- I can't believe it. 102 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,306 Bad dog. 103 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,840 Bad dog. 104 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,245 Woman: Oaks, are you excited to eat some food? 105 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:48,215 Ribeiro: Pug puppies -- 10 out of 10 for cuteness. 106 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,817 Zero out of 10 for coordination. 107 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:55,856 ♪♪ 108 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,692 Woman: Oops. 109 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,761 -Go! [ Cheering ] 110 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:10,003 Ribeiro: They could win if they just had a helping hand... 111 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,838 or a helping paw. 112 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:17,544 ♪♪ 113 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:23,250 ♪♪ 114 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,886 Honey surprised herself that she could fit. 115 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,558 But I'm not sure that cat wanted a roommate. 116 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:40,000 ♪♪ 117 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,736 She hasn't forgotten the time you grilled those rib-eyes 118 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,638 and didn't give her one. 119 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,910 Woman: What happened? 120 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,212 [ Laughter and applause ] 121 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,816 We live in a world 122 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,385 where everybody wants to be an influencer. 123 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,287 I don't know about you, 124 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,188 but the only thing the influencers in this next montage 125 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:06,159 would influence me to do is to get off the Internet. 126 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,527 ♪ I'm feeling the love ♪ 127 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,529 ♪ I'm feeling the vibes ♪ 128 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:15,602 ♪ Yeah, it's a good day to be alive ♪ 129 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:22,208 ♪ 'Cause it's all good when we're all together ♪ 130 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:26,146 ♪ This is gonna be the best day ever ♪ 131 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,982 ♪ When we get together ♪ 132 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:32,419 ♪ It's like we change the weather ♪ 133 00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,521 ♪ Everything gets better ♪ 134 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,590 ♪ This is gonna be the best day ever ♪ 135 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:42,162 ♪♪ 136 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,596 [ Screams ] 137 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,966 ♪ I know you got swag, I know you got style ♪ 138 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:53,006 ♪ I'm gonna give you something that'll make you smile ♪ 139 00:07:57,277 --> 00:08:00,080 ♪ When we get together ♪ 140 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,583 ♪ It's like we change the weather ♪ 141 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,318 ♪ Everything gets better ♪ 142 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,455 ♪ This is gonna be the best day ever ♪ 143 00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,725 [ Dog barks ] 144 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,728 Aaah! 145 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:20,033 [ Chickens cluck ] 146 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,268 [ Cheers and applause ] 147 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:26,272 Hey, want to see your funny video on TV? 148 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:30,744 Just upload it to afv.com. 149 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,580 ♪ This is gonna be the best day ever ♪ 150 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:40,787 ♪♪ 151 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,490 Snow. It's wet, it's cold, 152 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,792 and it seems like it would be fun to play in 153 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:49,229 until you remember that it's so, so wet and oh so cold. 154 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,531 So here are some videos from people who don't live 155 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,199 in the parts of the country that avoid 156 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,369 that icy cold nuisance that falls from the sky. 157 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,005 Can you tell who's not a fan? 158 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,241 [ Laughter ] 159 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,678 Dear nature, I'd like a metaphor for the futility of modern life. 160 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,317 Thank you. 161 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,791 -I give up. I'm done. -That was so mean. 162 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,161 -I'm done. -Oh, my gosh. 163 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:25,532 Ribeiro: Sometimes snow has perfect comic timing. 164 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,104 [ Laughs ] 165 00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:33,373 Oh, I think we got that on the Ring. 166 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,679 We're going sledding. 167 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,247 Sleds optional. 168 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,955 That seems like an after you shovel the walk kind of job. 169 00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:54,761 ♪♪ 170 00:09:54,761 --> 00:10:00,533 ♪♪ 171 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,735 Man: Coming in hot. Get him, get him, get him. 172 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,904 You should never pick up hitchhikers. 173 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,040 Especially if they don't ask you to. 174 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,008 Hey, hey, hey! 175 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,213 Everybody all right? 176 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:20,153 Even with booties on, Enzo only wants to get half his paws cold. 177 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,493 Man: I guess snow is heavier than it looks, huh? 178 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,394 Dad, I'm sliding. 179 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,633 It takes a special kind of clumsy 180 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,736 to lose a snowball fight with yourself. 181 00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:45,111 ♪♪ 182 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,146 The kids had a great day. 183 00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,116 Even if Mitchell didn't get to see a thing. 184 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:58,024 ♪♪ 185 00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:00,627 Mitchell, look here. 186 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,061 I can't see, Mom. Mitchell. 187 00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:05,064 [ Laughter ] 188 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:13,540 Zen masters are so tuned into their surroundings 189 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,609 that they could sense a sparrow in a tree 100 feet away. 190 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,979 However, watching a Zen master sense sparrows in trees 191 00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:22,782 would be the biggest snooze-fest in television history. 192 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:25,385 So here are some people who are so oblivious 193 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,520 they couldn't sense a herd of water buffalo 194 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,123 buffaloing their way through their living room. 195 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,691 Enjoy. 196 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:39,599 ♪♪ 197 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,334 She may not have won the lottery, 198 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:44,771 but she won the lottery of becoming a grandma, 199 00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:46,739 which is much less lucrative. 200 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,174 -What'd you win? -What'd you get? 201 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,709 We're having a baby? 202 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,811 What does that mean? 203 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,279 Man: I don't know, what do you think it means? 204 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:57,116 Ah! [ No audio ] 205 00:11:58,751 --> 00:11:59,886 I want to see. 206 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,623 Woman: Where's the candy? Where is it? 207 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:06,526 The candy's here. Oh, it's right there? 208 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,028 He's right there and he goes in a bag. 209 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,563 Oh, he does? 210 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,732 But I can't find the bag. 211 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,868 You can't find the bag, huh? 212 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:18,137 Oh. 213 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,506 Ribeiro: When you forget to attach the hose to the vacuum, 214 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,809 the suction tends to suck. 215 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,514 Woman: And we have all the ducks. 216 00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:32,452 Everybody's here. We even have a herd of pigeons. 217 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,520 Everybody's here. 218 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,990 Yep. There they are. 219 00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,625 All the animals. 220 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,994 Oh, look. There goes a pigeon. 221 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:46,132 And here's my dog. Staring at nothing. 222 00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:49,102 Ribeiro: Maybe he's just not as into bird watching as you. 223 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,536 You ever think of that? 224 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:53,172 Man: Last one. 225 00:12:55,975 --> 00:13:00,046 Wonder where it is. Maybe it's at the window, huh? 226 00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,748 Is it at the window? 227 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:03,683 Ribeiro: I say if she goes this long without finding it, 228 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,318 It's your candy now, dad. 229 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,521 Man: Maybe it's at the window. 230 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:13,993 Window. Window. 231 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:16,095 Come on, honey. Please, please get this. 232 00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,330 Look over there. 233 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,732 Ribeiro: Is she hot? Is she cold? 234 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,769 Or is she just not that into Easter? 235 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:23,803 Candy! 236 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,804 Man: Oh, gosh. Never mind. 237 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,841 It's just over there. 238 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,576 Oh, my gosh. 239 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:36,015 Yay! 240 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,785 Ribeiro: Mom gives one child all of her attention 241 00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,787 and gives her other child something 242 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:44,123 to make her feel guilty about for the rest of her life. 243 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,491 Levi! 244 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:50,663 ♪♪ 245 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:57,437 ♪♪ 246 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,373 Sometimes y'all do something so insane it makes 247 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,641 me question my sanity. 248 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,777 How bonkers is that? 249 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,113 Maybe good decisions have gone out of style. 250 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:10,083 Or "Maybe I'm Nuts." 251 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,986 Maybe I'm nuts, but I thought rolling luggage was supposed 252 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:16,556 to make your life easier. 253 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,691 [ Car alarm beeping ] 254 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:26,032 ♪♪ 255 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:33,306 ♪♪ 256 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,074 I'm no gymnastics guru, 257 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:37,944 but I'm pretty sure you won't become the next Simone Biles 258 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,580 with a precariously perched plank. 259 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:45,752 ♪♪ 260 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:50,890 ♪♪ 261 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,492 Call me crazy, 262 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,460 but it'll take more than a hard hat 263 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:57,730 to keep questionable ideas from entering Dave's brain. 264 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,098 Man: Okay, water boy. 265 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,767 [ Growls ] 266 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,469 [ Laughs ] 267 00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:11,477 Label me a cynic, but I think "learn the art of paragliding 268 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:15,448 in one easy lesson" sounds too good to be true. 269 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:21,087 Man: There's Tom doing downwind landing. 270 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,889 And face plant. 271 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,727 Maybe I'm a lawn snob, 272 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:31,164 but I wouldn't want this guy watering my grass. 273 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:36,969 ♪♪ 274 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:42,809 ♪♪ 275 00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,444 This has been "Maybe I'm Nuts." 276 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,217 It's time to show some butts. 277 00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,286 The butts of practical jokes, that is, 278 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,720 not the tushy kind of butts. 279 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,256 We are a family show. Want to see some pranks? 280 00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,092 Oui, oui. But of course. 281 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,694 Look at your hands. 282 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,396 Make sure -- Make sure you're balancing. 283 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,031 Here, I'm going to make sure you've got it. 284 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:07,800 Dad told him it was a test of balance, 285 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,136 but it's really a test of gullibility. 286 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,738 You ready? Try to balance it. 287 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:13,806 Look at it. 288 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,708 Three, two... 289 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,044 [ Woman laughs ] 290 00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:26,052 ♪♪ 291 00:16:26,052 --> 00:16:29,922 She thinks she's cracking his neck, 292 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:32,458 but the only thing getting cracked is the uncooked pasta 293 00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,860 he has in his mouth. 294 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,828 [ Cracking ] Oh, aah! 295 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,297 Woman: Oh, my God. That was such a loud crack. 296 00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,366 Holy -- What did you just do? 297 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,201 Oh, my God! Alex, what did you just do? 298 00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:43,836 Oh, can you move your neck? 299 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,104 What did you just do? 300 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,373 [ Laughs ] 301 00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:48,508 Man: Sadie, sit. 302 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,010 Girl: Sit. Sadie, sit. 303 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,813 Sit. Sit. 304 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,516 [ Whoopee cushion farts ] 305 00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:00,453 Most dogs can do this without a whoopee cushion. 306 00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:05,758 They should have been a little suspicious when dad asked them 307 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,661 to pose in front of the tractor after it rained. 308 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,297 [ Screams ] 309 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:17,336 Hawaii is still strict and we need to do COVID tests 310 00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,772 to show to get on the plane. 311 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,208 Yeah. You've gotta be kidding me. 312 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:26,679 Yeah. So I got these two because they're very specific. 313 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,915 But we have to submit on, like -- 314 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,217 How can they do this? 315 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,819 So do your test. 316 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:35,588 I'm gonna do it right now because I don't want it -- 317 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,357 because it has to be, like, two weeks out. 318 00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,126 So... 319 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,928 I don't even know how to do it anymore. 320 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,599 I know we're all trying to forget about COVID, 321 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:51,470 but did he really forget how big a Q-Tip was? 322 00:17:51,470 --> 00:17:54,407 So I have to put this in both my nostrils? 323 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:02,348 ...that they sent something like this. 324 00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,818 I have other test kits. I know they're not like this. 325 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,588 Are you ready? Yeah. 326 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:13,359 This guy is testing positive for being easy to fool. 327 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,695 This thing doesn't even fit. 328 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,464 How far up? 329 00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:19,498 Kate. 330 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,904 He's gonna have to quarantine after this 331 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,839 just out of embarrassment. 332 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,374 [ Laughter and applause ] 333 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,148 We've been going strong for 35 years, 334 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,917 so this year we want to take the time 335 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,919 to thank all the things that brought us here. 336 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,288 If "AFV" categories had a championship, 337 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,723 the belt would surely go to 338 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,392 people getting hit below the belt. 339 00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:56,168 ♪♪ 340 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:57,970 -Oh! -Oh! 341 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:03,776 Ow! Hey! 342 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:10,349 ♪♪ 343 00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:16,922 ♪♪ 344 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,257 [ Screams ] 345 00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:23,629 ♪♪ 346 00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:28,934 ♪♪ 347 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,302 [ Goose honks ] [ Screams ] 348 00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:35,207 ♪♪ 349 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:36,242 -He's gonna bite you. -[ Screams ] 350 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:42,014 ♪♪ 351 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,152 Ow! 352 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,721 Oh, my God, there's a bee in my veil! 353 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:54,627 ♪♪ 354 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,228 Oh! Aah! 355 00:19:56,228 --> 00:20:04,070 ♪♪ 356 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:11,944 ♪♪ 357 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,168 Missing "AFV" during the week? 358 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,971 Check out our Facebook page for more videos like this one. 359 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:44,877 ♪♪ 360 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,912 Every once in a while, you meet someone 361 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,781 who didn't do well in school, 362 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,083 but their excuse is that they didn't test well. 363 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,119 And I think to myself, 364 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,088 "Maybe you didn't 'test well' because you didn't 'learn well' 365 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,657 because you 'aren't exactly a genius.'" 366 00:20:58,657 --> 00:21:01,527 That is, after all, what the test tests. 367 00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,229 Anyway, here are some boneheads 368 00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,664 who test well for being hilarious. 369 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:12,538 He's doing a promposal. 370 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,610 I hope he has better moves on the dance floor 371 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,645 than he does on the porch. 372 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,952 There are so many factors involved in a good golf swing. 373 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,522 Like proper bucket placement. 374 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:37,696 Woman: Hey, give me a second. Does it hurt? 375 00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:38,964 Let me see. 376 00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:42,868 Oh, my gosh, girl. 377 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,075 [ Laughter ] 378 00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:51,544 I call bull. 379 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:52,778 Woman: Did you get that? 380 00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:55,147 Woman #2: I got it. I got it. 381 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,284 Please send it to me. 382 00:21:58,284 --> 00:22:04,657 ♪♪ 383 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:09,929 Here, give me your coat. 384 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:14,800 When trying to break into your own house, 385 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,236 try not to break your own house. 386 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,641 [ Laughter ] 387 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:27,846 ♪♪ 388 00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,982 The box said hammock for one. 389 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,952 But Jonas don't listen to no stinking boxes. 390 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:38,924 ♪♪ 391 00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:40,726 There's the fountain of youth, 392 00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:43,362 and then there's the pool of instant karma. 393 00:22:47,666 --> 00:22:49,635 [ Applause ] 394 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:59,545 Both: Hey, Alfonso, we want to see more chicken videos. 395 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:06,685 Okay, Louise and Samuel and little Star and Wendy. 396 00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:08,454 You want to see more chicken videos? 397 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:12,424 Well, you're in cluck. I mean, you're in luck. 398 00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:15,828 Man: Y'all requested a look at my chicken and water feeder. 399 00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:18,097 It has these little cups that they eat out of. 400 00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:20,132 [ Chicken clucking ] Ouch, Denise. 401 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,234 Gosh. You got my finger. 402 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,770 That's not food. Come on, girl. 403 00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:26,572 Ribeiro: If you think Denise is annoying, 404 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:28,474 wait till you see Denephew. 405 00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,342 Man: ...from the bottom but it kind of sinks 406 00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,912 and, um, they're able to get fresh water. 407 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:36,081 Gosh, Denise. This chick is crazy. 408 00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:39,652 Ribeiro: Raising chickens is a total pain in the butt. 409 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,556 Woman: Oh, that was not good. 410 00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:46,558 Oh, baby. 411 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:52,798 [ Screaming ] 412 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:58,404 Ribeiro: I expect this reaction from city folk. 413 00:23:58,404 --> 00:24:01,040 But I don't think this is their first rodeo. 414 00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:06,946 Woman: How do you feel about KFC? 415 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:10,416 [ Clucks ] 416 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:12,084 What about Lee's Chicken? 417 00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:13,919 [ Cluck ] 418 00:24:13,919 --> 00:24:15,487 Ribeiro: At least she's honest. 419 00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:22,728 Yet another reason most people stick with dogs and cats. 420 00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:25,497 Ow! 421 00:24:25,497 --> 00:24:26,799 Get down! 422 00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:31,270 Chickens, get out. 423 00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,007 Okay, now, time... 424 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:39,745 Huh. 425 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:47,186 Help! 426 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:48,721 Ribeiro: He may have locked himself in the coop, 427 00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,889 but he has a plan to get out. 428 00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:04,069 It's a terrible plan, but hey, he's 6. 429 00:25:05,237 --> 00:25:07,573 Man: See if the chicken's ready. 430 00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:09,508 That's it, Hilly. 431 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:12,411 Just climb on in the grill. 432 00:25:12,411 --> 00:25:14,546 Just climb on in. 433 00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:16,615 I won't hurt you. 434 00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:19,752 Oh, you're my friend. 435 00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:23,055 Oh, what are those charcoal things in there? 436 00:25:23,055 --> 00:25:26,925 I don't know how those got in there, I promise. 437 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,094 No, it's not a lighter. It's just -- 438 00:25:29,094 --> 00:25:32,931 Just come here. Just -- Just -- Just for a minute. 439 00:25:32,931 --> 00:25:36,034 Ribeiro: There is no plucking way he's falling for this. 440 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:37,970 Man: Oh, well, worth a try. 441 00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,204 No chicken tonight. 442 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:45,611 ♪♪ 443 00:25:45,611 --> 00:25:47,246 Every once in a while, 444 00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:49,148 I point out that dogs are better than cats. 445 00:25:49,148 --> 00:25:52,584 And cat people get mad. You know who doesn't get mad? 446 00:25:52,584 --> 00:25:54,753 Cats. Because they don't care. 447 00:25:54,753 --> 00:25:56,455 They don't care about you. They don't care about me. 448 00:25:56,455 --> 00:25:57,589 They don't even care 449 00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,358 that they're the star of this montage. 450 00:25:59,358 --> 00:26:01,326 They only care about eating, sleeping, 451 00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:04,129 and pushing stuff off of tables. 452 00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:05,798 Respect. 453 00:26:05,798 --> 00:26:14,072 ♪♪ 454 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:22,381 ♪♪ 455 00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:30,722 ♪♪ 456 00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:39,064 ♪♪ 457 00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:47,339 ♪♪ 458 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:55,647 ♪♪ 459 00:26:55,647 --> 00:27:03,989 ♪♪ 460 00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:12,297 ♪♪ 461 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,533 Get ready to celebrate 462 00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:16,735 the 70th anniversary of the Disneyland Resort 463 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:19,104 happening next year in Anaheim, California. 464 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:21,840 This season, "AFV's" grand prize winner will experience 465 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,842 the ultimate vacation for eight 466 00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:25,844 with a magical five-night stay at the Disneyland Resort, 467 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,679 complete with a one-day VIP tour, 468 00:27:27,679 --> 00:27:30,349 character dining, and World of Color dessert party. 469 00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:33,252 Join us next year for a limited-time celebration 470 00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:35,320 where you'll experience timeless classics 471 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,857 and modern thrills during the 70th anniversary celebration. 472 00:27:38,857 --> 00:27:40,993 Drop on in to the newly reimagined 473 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,195 Tiana's Bayou Adventure 474 00:27:43,195 --> 00:27:44,963 and live out your very own Star Wars story 475 00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:47,699 at Star Wars Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland Park. 476 00:27:47,699 --> 00:27:50,202 Then suit up with superheroes at Avengers Campus 477 00:27:50,202 --> 00:27:52,304 in Disney California Adventure Park. 478 00:27:52,304 --> 00:27:55,040 Disneyland Resort will roll out the red carpet for your family 479 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,009 on your customizable VIP tour, 480 00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:58,944 with convenience that enables you to focus 481 00:27:58,944 --> 00:28:00,946 on creating unforgettable memories. 482 00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:02,147 We look forward to welcoming you 483 00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:03,382 to the happiest place on Earth. 484 00:28:03,382 --> 00:28:05,284 Send your video to "AFV" 485 00:28:05,284 --> 00:28:06,919 to enter for your chance to win this magical vacation. 486 00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:12,357 ♪♪ 487 00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:16,461 Raising a child is like a really hard lower-body workout. 488 00:28:16,461 --> 00:28:18,330 A kid can bring tears, aches, 489 00:28:18,330 --> 00:28:20,866 and the occasional pain in the gluteus maximus, 490 00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:23,001 but also like a good lower-body workout, 491 00:28:23,001 --> 00:28:24,803 you'll be glad you did it, 492 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,305 even if you curse yourself for having done it 493 00:28:26,305 --> 00:28:27,806 in the first place. 494 00:28:27,806 --> 00:28:33,111 ♪♪ 495 00:28:33,111 --> 00:28:37,282 Lack of light and lack of sleep make a great combo. 496 00:28:39,518 --> 00:28:40,786 [ Gasps ] 497 00:28:40,786 --> 00:28:42,854 [ Laughter ] 498 00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:49,595 ♪♪ 499 00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:55,667 [ Laughs ] We'll never do it again. 500 00:28:55,667 --> 00:28:57,069 Yeah, we'll never do it again. 501 00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,737 Yeah, that's right. Unless a hair dresser. 502 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:03,675 Yeah, 'cause we are very rude. 503 00:29:03,675 --> 00:29:05,944 Cutest apology ever. 504 00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:07,980 Man: Let's see the back of yours, Ruby. 505 00:29:07,980 --> 00:29:09,381 Who cut it for you? 506 00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:10,482 M-E! 507 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:11,917 Ribeiro: Worst haircuts ever, 508 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:14,519 but cutest apology ever. 509 00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:17,923 Man: Let's go see the bathroom and the scissors that you used. 510 00:29:21,026 --> 00:29:22,894 There's hair all over the bathroom here. 511 00:29:22,894 --> 00:29:25,163 And some hair in the garbage. 512 00:29:28,266 --> 00:29:29,868 Yeah. 513 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:31,303 Yeah! 514 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:32,771 Yeah! 515 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,339 Mnh-mnh. 516 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:38,644 Woman: You know what your shirt says? 517 00:29:38,644 --> 00:29:43,782 It says "Only child" and it's crossed out. 518 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,852 And then it says "Big brother." 519 00:29:46,852 --> 00:29:47,953 What?! 520 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:55,093 Ribeiro: Sorry, kid. T-shirts are legally binding. 521 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:58,997 I am trying to clean up my pantry. 522 00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:06,672 And somebody snatched a little something right off the counter. 523 00:30:06,672 --> 00:30:08,607 Gel food coloring. 524 00:30:08,607 --> 00:30:11,810 Hey, Eliana, look at me. 525 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,679 Ribeiro: I don't watch a lot of crime shows, 526 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:16,581 but I think it might have been the toddler. 527 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:19,651 Woman: Ellie, show me your hands. 528 00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:21,320 Yeah, everywhere. 529 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,656 And then not only did she do this... 530 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:28,560 Hi. Yeah. 531 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,396 Ribeiro: It's food coloring, so at least it's edible. 532 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,965 Woman: [ Laughs ] I'm gonna -- 533 00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:35,367 I'm gonna lose it. 534 00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:39,171 Man: Hey. Did you go pee-pee in the dog food? 535 00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:40,272 Mm-hmm. 536 00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:41,573 Ribeiro: The kid in the Batman shirt 537 00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:44,476 has a somewhat yucky origin story. 538 00:30:44,476 --> 00:30:47,079 Asher, tell me the truth. 539 00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:49,081 Did you go pee-pee in the dog food? 540 00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:51,783 [ Laughs ] 541 00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:58,757 ♪♪ 542 00:30:58,757 --> 00:31:01,326 You know what the world needs now? 543 00:31:01,326 --> 00:31:04,763 A duo of dueling duffels. 544 00:31:04,763 --> 00:31:07,199 [ Dogs barking ] 545 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:19,778 I hope you've enjoyed a duo of dueling duffels. 546 00:31:22,781 --> 00:31:25,884 Ah, the first show of the season is almost over, 547 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:29,388 and it seems like just 45 minutes ago I was saying hello 548 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:31,790 and now it's almost time to say goodbye. 549 00:31:31,790 --> 00:31:33,692 I mean, it kind of makes you realize just 550 00:31:33,692 --> 00:31:37,162 how fleeting life is and how we all 551 00:31:37,162 --> 00:31:40,432 need to embrace the now before it's too late. 552 00:31:40,432 --> 00:31:44,469 And -- And -- And wow, that took a dark turn. 553 00:31:44,469 --> 00:31:47,939 Anyway, embrace the now of these videos. 554 00:31:47,939 --> 00:31:50,909 Now, before it's too late. 555 00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:58,016 I got a big one! 556 00:31:58,016 --> 00:31:59,651 [ Screams ] 557 00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:02,821 You stepped on Jameson's hand, 558 00:32:02,821 --> 00:32:05,157 but he'll get his revenge. 559 00:32:07,726 --> 00:32:10,695 Can you guys stop it? 560 00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:13,865 I can tell you're taking a picture of me. 561 00:32:13,865 --> 00:32:15,367 My mouth is all wet. 562 00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:17,903 Woman: That don't matter. 563 00:32:17,903 --> 00:32:20,438 Nothing can fix -- Nothing can fix this? 564 00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:22,841 No. 565 00:32:22,841 --> 00:32:25,944 [ Indistinct shouting ] 566 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,579 What's worse? 567 00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:31,216 Cake batter in your hair or hair in your cake batter? 568 00:32:31,216 --> 00:32:33,985 [ Shouting ] 569 00:32:36,388 --> 00:32:38,723 Man: She shoved a whole cracker, 570 00:32:38,723 --> 00:32:41,226 the entire cracker in her mouth. 571 00:32:41,226 --> 00:32:42,294 Didn't you? 572 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:44,296 What goes well with crackers? 573 00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:45,430 Cheese. 574 00:32:45,430 --> 00:32:47,566 [ Laughter ] 575 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:54,472 That hammock doesn't take kindly 576 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,908 to dad criticizing his kid's arm. 577 00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:03,114 [ Groans ] 578 00:33:05,383 --> 00:33:09,020 And you thought ants were the most annoying thing at a picnic. 579 00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:12,490 Are you okay? 580 00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:14,292 So go ahead and you just look in the camera 581 00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:16,595 and you say as many cuss words as you can get out, 582 00:33:16,595 --> 00:33:19,965 but this is the only time you're ever allowed to say them. 583 00:33:19,965 --> 00:33:21,600 All right? 584 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,268 Look at the camera and say your cuss words. 585 00:33:23,268 --> 00:33:26,204 I'm going in here. I'll be right back. 586 00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:30,308 Okay. Cuss words. 587 00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:34,512 Cuss words. Cuss words. 588 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,249 Cuss words, cuss words. 589 00:33:37,249 --> 00:33:39,618 Cuss words, cuss words. 590 00:33:39,618 --> 00:33:43,121 That is so cuss-wording adorable. 591 00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:45,123 Cuss words. 592 00:33:45,123 --> 00:33:46,691 Are you done? 593 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:50,095 Um, I think so. 594 00:33:50,095 --> 00:33:53,865 Because regular ice cream headache isn't bad enough... 595 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:57,536 One, a one, a two, a three, four, five! 596 00:33:57,536 --> 00:34:00,372 -Whoa! You okay? -Oh, honey. You okay? 597 00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:07,112 ♪♪ 598 00:34:07,112 --> 00:34:08,980 This year, we're introducing something 599 00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:11,816 we'll be doing all season long called "Ask a Kid," 600 00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:14,185 where we present you parents with some fun 601 00:34:14,185 --> 00:34:16,721 and simple questions to ask your kid to see 602 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:19,724 if you can get some answers that are hilarious. 603 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,259 Our first "Ask a Kid" ask 604 00:34:21,259 --> 00:34:24,262 is to ask your kid what they want to be when they grow up. 605 00:34:24,262 --> 00:34:26,164 Here are some adorable responses. 606 00:34:26,164 --> 00:34:30,035 Woman: What happens if we have five and we take away five? 607 00:34:30,035 --> 00:34:31,803 Then we have zero. 608 00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:35,540 Very good. What are you going to be someday? 609 00:34:35,540 --> 00:34:37,108 A math... 610 00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:38,576 Math -- 611 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,045 A math potato. 612 00:34:40,045 --> 00:34:42,013 No, not math potato. 613 00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:44,449 A mathematician. 614 00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:47,752 Man: What do you want to be when you grow up? 615 00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:51,556 Um, a ninja engineer paleontologist 616 00:34:51,556 --> 00:34:58,163 that also, um, studies science and also teaches at school. 617 00:34:58,163 --> 00:35:00,098 And what do you want to be when you grow up? 618 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:02,734 A candy cane. A candy cane? 619 00:35:02,734 --> 00:35:05,070 You know your task. 620 00:35:05,070 --> 00:35:07,172 Now all you have to do is ask. 621 00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:09,741 Jess, tell them more. 622 00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:12,544 Just ask your kid what they want to be when they grow up. 623 00:35:12,544 --> 00:35:13,912 If their answer is funny, 624 00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:15,547 the first stop on their date with destiny 625 00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:18,383 might win them $20,000 or even $100,000. 626 00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:21,920 Just upload their funny response to afv.com. 627 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,689 For full contest rules, log on to afv.com. 628 00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:27,192 Ask your kids what they want to be when they're grown. 629 00:35:27,192 --> 00:35:29,461 Upload the video to us on your phone. 630 00:35:31,830 --> 00:35:34,132 ♪♪ 631 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:36,434 It's been a great night, so say me, 632 00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:38,903 but now we're going to hand out the dough-ray-me. 633 00:35:38,903 --> 00:35:40,472 Let's meet our finalists. 634 00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:43,174 First up, your niece learning to climb a step ladder 635 00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:45,810 is quite the big day, but it would have been better 636 00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,146 if the food coloring had been put away. 637 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,148 It's "Dye-Yi-Yi!" 638 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:55,053 sent in by Gwendolyn Rahr from the Hampton Roads, Virginia. 639 00:35:55,053 --> 00:35:57,656 Rahr: Show me your hands. Yeah, everywhere. 640 00:35:57,656 --> 00:36:01,593 And then not only did she do this... 641 00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:05,263 Hi. Yeah. 642 00:36:05,263 --> 00:36:08,066 Ribeiro: It's food coloring, so at least it's edible. 643 00:36:08,066 --> 00:36:10,869 Rahr: [ Laughs ] I'm gonna -- 644 00:36:10,869 --> 00:36:12,437 I'm gonna lose it. 645 00:36:12,437 --> 00:36:15,273 Joining us are Gwendolyn, Ellie, and Elora. 646 00:36:15,273 --> 00:36:18,276 Now, Gwendolyn, how did you end up discovering 647 00:36:18,276 --> 00:36:20,311 the mess that Ellie made? 648 00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:22,514 Well, I was sitting on the floor 649 00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:25,383 trying to sort through everything through the pantry, 650 00:36:25,383 --> 00:36:29,287 and I just felt a figure come behind me, 651 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:30,789 and I felt like somebody was staring at me 652 00:36:30,789 --> 00:36:32,657 in the back of the room, 653 00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:37,028 and I turned around and there she was, covered in black. 654 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:41,366 What did you think when you saw the food coloring everywhere? 655 00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:45,670 Um, so we've had incidents in the past with Eliana 656 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,439 getting into something, 657 00:36:47,439 --> 00:36:49,741 and then I saw the, uh, the food coloring, 658 00:36:49,741 --> 00:36:52,677 and that's when I just broke down hysterically laughing. 659 00:36:52,677 --> 00:36:54,879 Perfect. Well, I love it. And good luck. 660 00:36:54,879 --> 00:36:56,448 All right? Thank you. 661 00:36:56,448 --> 00:36:58,049 All right. 662 00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:01,086 Next up, a video where our censors could sleep, 663 00:37:01,086 --> 00:37:03,788 because even when she said bad words, 664 00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:05,323 they won't need to bleep. 665 00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:06,925 It's "Cute as Cuss," 666 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:11,162 sent in by Michelle Gibson from Union, Missouri. 667 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,064 So you go ahead and you just look in the camera 668 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:15,133 and you say as many cuss words as you can get out, 669 00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:18,803 but this is the only time you're ever allowed to say them. 670 00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:21,773 Cuss words. Cuss words. 671 00:37:21,773 --> 00:37:25,076 Cuss words, cuss words. 672 00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,245 Cuss words. 673 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,046 Are you done? 674 00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:31,916 Um, I think so. 675 00:37:31,916 --> 00:37:34,752 Joining us are Michelle, Katie, and Reagan. 676 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:38,156 Now, Katie, you set this up because you wanted to see 677 00:37:38,156 --> 00:37:41,192 if Reagan even knew what cuss words were. 678 00:37:41,192 --> 00:37:44,329 What prompted you to set up this experiment? 679 00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:47,832 I had seen something online of a -- of another -- 680 00:37:47,832 --> 00:37:49,701 uh, a challenge, pretty much. 681 00:37:49,701 --> 00:37:53,204 And some other kids were saying a slew of curse words, 682 00:37:53,204 --> 00:37:54,939 and I just, uh, I had heard her say one, 683 00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:56,674 and I wanted to see 684 00:37:56,674 --> 00:37:58,576 if she understood what a curse word was. 685 00:37:58,576 --> 00:38:02,313 And then she just said -- she just kept saying "Cuss word." 686 00:38:02,313 --> 00:38:05,116 So I was like, "Oh my goodness, look at how innocent." 687 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,385 Like she doesn't even realize what a cuss word is. 688 00:38:07,385 --> 00:38:09,254 Oh, I love it, I love it. 689 00:38:09,254 --> 00:38:14,559 Well, Reagan proved that she is as innocent as bleep. 690 00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:16,494 So good luck, y'all. All right. 691 00:38:16,494 --> 00:38:18,763 And finally, dad was a good sport. 692 00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:20,231 He never got hostile, 693 00:38:20,231 --> 00:38:22,467 even when they gave him a tester 694 00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,369 that was larger than his nostril. 695 00:38:24,369 --> 00:38:26,504 It's "Cotton Swab Too Big for the Job," 696 00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:30,842 sent in by Kaitlyn Dzienis from Long Beach, California. 697 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:34,746 So I have to put this in both my nostrils? 698 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:36,447 Dzienis: Yeah. 699 00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:43,121 ...that they sent something like this. 700 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:45,456 This thing doesn't even fit. 701 00:38:45,456 --> 00:38:47,158 How far up? 702 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:50,528 Joining us via technology is the star, Steve. 703 00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:54,966 But joining us in person is Kaitlyn, who lives locally. 704 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:57,268 Right on. Come on in, Kaitlyn. All right. 705 00:38:57,268 --> 00:38:59,537 Now, her dad, 706 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:02,006 Steve, couldn't be here because Kaitlyn told him 707 00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:04,209 that he had to take a test to fly out 708 00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:08,479 that required sticking the entire test tube up his nose. 709 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:10,048 And I'm joking, of course. 710 00:39:10,048 --> 00:39:12,083 But also, Kaitlyn, tell us, 711 00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,719 how did you get the idea to prank your dad? 712 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,189 Well, I'm always thinking of pranks, 713 00:39:18,189 --> 00:39:19,757 even months in advance. 714 00:39:19,757 --> 00:39:23,828 So I was shopping and I saw these huge cotton swabs, 715 00:39:23,828 --> 00:39:26,197 and it just went off in my brain. 716 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,899 "I'm going to do this months later 717 00:39:27,899 --> 00:39:30,101 when he flies out for our Hawaii trip." 718 00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,903 Oh, that's brilliant, that's brilliant. 719 00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:33,938 And, Steve, 720 00:39:33,938 --> 00:39:37,642 how long did it take you to realize you were being punked? 721 00:39:37,642 --> 00:39:41,179 Well, when I started putting a cotton tube up my nose 722 00:39:41,179 --> 00:39:43,181 and I know it didn't fit, 723 00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:47,685 so I knew right then, and especially with her laughing. 724 00:39:47,685 --> 00:39:50,855 Well, hey, listen, you spent a few bucks on giant swabs, 725 00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:52,790 and you might win 20 grand. 726 00:39:52,790 --> 00:39:55,226 Looks like it's a pretty good return on investment. 727 00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,461 Good luck. Thank you. 728 00:39:56,461 --> 00:39:57,996 All right, all right. 729 00:39:57,996 --> 00:39:59,030 All right, we're going to find out who takes home the cash 730 00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,798 in just a minute. 731 00:40:00,798 --> 00:40:02,834 But first let's take a look at some of the clips 732 00:40:02,834 --> 00:40:05,870 that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable mention. 733 00:40:05,870 --> 00:40:14,879 ♪♪ 734 00:40:14,879 --> 00:40:23,922 ♪♪ 735 00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:32,930 ♪♪ 736 00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:41,906 ♪♪ 737 00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:44,375 Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes. 738 00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:48,212 $20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third. 739 00:40:48,212 --> 00:40:53,251 Here we go. Our third place $4,000 winner is... 740 00:40:53,251 --> 00:40:55,887 "Dye-Yi-Yi!" sent in by Gwendolyn Rahr 741 00:40:55,887 --> 00:40:57,989 from the Hampton Roads, Virginia. 742 00:40:57,989 --> 00:41:00,992 Yay! 743 00:41:00,992 --> 00:41:04,796 Thank you. And the winner of the $20,000 744 00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:08,199 and tonight's funniest home video is... 745 00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:09,567 "Cute as Cuss," 746 00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:12,203 sent in by Michele Gibson from Union, Missouri. 747 00:41:12,203 --> 00:41:15,373 We have Reagan, Michelle, and Katie. 748 00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:18,976 Oh, well, congratulations, you won. 749 00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:22,947 Now, Michelle, what made you think to send the video 750 00:41:22,947 --> 00:41:24,949 of your granddaughter to us? 751 00:41:24,949 --> 00:41:26,250 Who win, Mommy? 752 00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:28,920 When Katie sent it to me, I was expecting... 753 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,555 Mommy. Mommy. 754 00:41:30,555 --> 00:41:34,325 ...to hear my granddaughter say a bad word. 755 00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:37,061 And when she didn't and she kept going "cuss words," 756 00:41:37,061 --> 00:41:39,964 I was just like -- Let me go. 757 00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:42,934 Died laughing. It was just absolutely adorable. 758 00:41:42,934 --> 00:41:46,537 Well, I think it was adorable. So congratulations. 759 00:41:46,537 --> 00:41:50,942 You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000. 760 00:41:50,942 --> 00:41:52,210 Congratulations. 761 00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:55,246 [ Cheers and applause ] 762 00:41:55,246 --> 00:41:57,048 Well, we've come to the end of the show, 763 00:41:57,048 --> 00:41:58,649 so it's time to say goodnight. 764 00:41:58,649 --> 00:42:00,618 Which they keep insisting I say 765 00:42:00,618 --> 00:42:03,388 instead of top of the morning for some weird reason. 766 00:42:03,388 --> 00:42:04,756 Well, we'll see you next time. 767 00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:06,524 And don't forget, 768 00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:07,959 if you upload a video and it airs on the show, 769 00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:09,727 we'll send you an "AFV" T-shirt. 770 00:42:09,727 --> 00:42:10,895 So good night, everybody. 771 00:42:10,895 --> 00:42:13,998 And remember, send your video to me, 772 00:42:13,998 --> 00:42:15,266 Good night, y'all. 773 00:42:15,266 --> 00:42:18,703 ♪♪ 774 00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:21,773 -- Captions by VITAC -- 775 00:42:21,773 --> 00:42:29,981 ♪♪ 776 00:42:29,981 --> 00:42:38,222 ♪♪ 777 00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:46,431 ♪♪ 778 00:42:46,431 --> 00:42:51,035 ♪♪