1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,938 Ribeiro: Here's an "AFV" tease that is sure to please. 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:08,876 ♪♪ 3 00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:11,111 Man: Hey, you. [ Both squeal ] 4 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,615 [ Person laughs ] 5 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,817 [ Dog growling ] 6 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,388 Aah! 7 00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:23,457 Woman: Can you press the green one? 8 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,192 [ Note plays ] [ Laughs ] 9 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:30,564 Welcome to "America's Funniest Home Videos." 10 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,667 And now here he is, the host of our show -- 11 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:39,006 Alfonso Ribeiro! 12 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:41,141 Whoo! Let's do it, y'all. 13 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,477 [ Cheers and applause ] 14 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,280 Come on, now. Come on, now. There you go. 15 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,248 How are ya? How are ya? 16 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:51,451 Hello, and welcome to "America's Funniest Home Videos," 17 00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,354 where our motto is, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. 18 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,089 That means we're gonna do the thing 19 00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,691 where we show funny videos, 20 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,927 and we're gonna keep on doing it until it stops, 21 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:03,564 because we don't ever want it to stop working, okay, ever. 22 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,799 Daddy has bills to pay, okay? 23 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,003 Watch as they accidentally invent the sport 24 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,371 of boomer bowling. 25 00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:13,373 Heavy! 26 00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:16,310 Aah! Ow! Ow! 27 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:22,849 ♪♪ 28 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,952 [ Man laughs ] 29 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,390 Ribeiro: You know, you don't have to try 30 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:33,860 every Internet wellness trend that pops up on your feed. 31 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,596 [ Man laughing ] 32 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,933 Let's go! 33 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,772 Ribeiro: Don't be so distracted by his awesome 'stache 34 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:49,376 that you miss what's going on under the stairs. 35 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,278 [ Hisses ] [ Shouts ] 36 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,880 [ Laughter ] 37 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:59,386 Girl: Daddy. Dad. 38 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,889 Ribeiro: Here's a case for tinted glass. 39 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:05,258 [ Laughing ] 40 00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,630 [ Jackhammering ] Woman: Okay, so I am outside my dental office 41 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,965 for my appointment. 42 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,735 And I don't think this is what people want to hear 43 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:17,771 before they go into a dental appointment. 44 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:25,545 Ribeiro: At least he can use the "12 IQ points or less" lane. 45 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,614 [ Man laughing ] 46 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,453 Ribeiro: If I were a "dad joke" kind of guy, 47 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,922 I'd say she's gonna wig out. 48 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:39,426 Aah! [ Laughs ] 49 00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:41,395 Ribeiro: Aren't you glad I'm above that? 50 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:49,202 ♪♪ 51 00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:52,139 The pros get penalized for excess celebration. 52 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,875 Amateurs get penalized for excess bragging. 53 00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:05,619 ♪♪ 54 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,188 Some people tell me their favorite part of the show 55 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,090 is "Kids Say" 'cause they like seeing 56 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,992 adorable people saying cute things. 57 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,460 To which I say, wait, 58 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,062 when I come out here and say things, 59 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,830 is that not adorable enough for you? 60 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,099 Am I not cute enough for you? 61 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,568 [ Crying ] Okay, I am doing my best. 62 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,036 I mean... 63 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,409 Also... 64 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,751 Woman: No, she lives in New York, silly. 65 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:38,852 Oh. 66 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:56,703 ♪♪ 67 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,347 Woman: Hi. What's the number that you have to call 68 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,649 in case of an emergency? Both: 911! 69 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,451 Okay, and then if Mommy and Daddy 70 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,320 are not available, who do you call? 71 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,155 Um... 72 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:18,258 [ Laughter ] 73 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,335 Excuse me. Out of the way, please. 74 00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:30,570 Sorry. 75 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:34,141 Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. 76 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,809 Woman: Oh, that's our boy, 77 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,012 apologizing to all the flowers and saying excuse me. 78 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,249 [ Up-tempo music plays ] 79 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:45,185 Echo, cancel. [ Music stops ] 80 00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,486 Echo... 81 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,632 Echo: Sorry, I don't know that. 82 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,600 [ Gasps ] 83 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,936 Echo, continue. 84 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,005 [ Music resumes ] 85 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:10,610 Some people just want life to be wine, women, and song. 86 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,947 Well, this next montage has the women and song part covered. 87 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,016 The wine you'll have to take care of yourself. 88 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,185 I mean, I'm not a "somah-lee-ay," 89 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,787 a "somma-lee-air-lee-ay." 90 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,123 I'm not some wine guy. 91 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:26,693 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 92 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:30,163 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 93 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,633 ♪ You were there right from the start ♪ 94 00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:36,169 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 95 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,537 [ Glass shatters ] 96 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:40,874 ♪ I don't care about the time 97 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,444 ♪ I just want your hand in mine ♪ [ Screams ] 98 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:47,914 ♪ I don't care about the place 99 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:52,552 ♪ I just want to see your face 100 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,688 ♪ You're the perfect girl 101 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,525 ♪ You're the perfect girl [ Squeals, laughs ] 102 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,828 ♪ You're the perfect girl 103 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,498 ♪ You're the perfect girl 104 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:08,902 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 105 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:12,539 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 106 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,909 ♪ You were there right from the start ♪ 107 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:19,880 ♪ You will always be in my heart ♪ 108 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,383 ♪ I don't care about the time 109 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,018 ♪ I just want your hand in mine ♪ 110 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,720 [ Dog barks ] 111 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,323 ♪ I don't care about the place 112 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,894 ♪ I just want to see your face 113 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,230 ♪ You're the perfect girl 114 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,567 ♪ You're the perfect girl Aah! 115 00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:44,170 ♪ You're the perfect girl 116 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,707 ♪ You're the perfect girl 117 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,776 [ Cheers and applause ] 118 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:50,777 ♪ You're the perfect girl 119 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,212 Got a funny video? 120 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:55,348 Upload it to AFV.com. 121 00:06:55,348 --> 00:07:01,254 ♪♪ 122 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,492 [ Applause ] 123 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,696 It's good to be a do-it-yourselfer. 124 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,165 However, some tasks are beyond your ability, 125 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,968 so you should just swallow your pride and hire a guy. 126 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,370 Now, the good news is, at least you can tell people 127 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,673 that you called the guy all by yourself. 128 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:20,907 Hmm? Right? Right? 129 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,076 So here are some people who made the wrong call 130 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,344 by not making a phone call 131 00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,113 to someone who knew what they were doing. 132 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,983 And it's opposite. It's righty loosey, as well. 133 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,018 It's not lefty loosey. It's righty... 134 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,020 Forget "righty tighty, lefty loosey." 135 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,023 Just remember the number of a good plumber. 136 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:38,291 Your hot water does -- 137 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,492 [ Both scream ] 138 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,561 [ Both laughing ] 139 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:47,233 ♪♪ 140 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:52,872 ♪♪ 141 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,375 Have you ever heard of a stud finder? 142 00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:56,976 Neither has he. 143 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:05,385 ♪♪ 144 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:08,888 Making bats madder leads to a fall off the ladder. 145 00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:13,460 Woman: Ugh! Ugh! Oh! 146 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,928 Are you okay? 147 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,600 After 2,000 years, 148 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,770 no one's thought to put back wheels on a wheelbarrow. 149 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:30,377 ♪♪ 150 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:33,346 This isn't really the right job for a shovel. 151 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,950 But it will be soon. 152 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:45,392 ♪♪ 153 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,127 The summer games are over, 154 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:50,397 but he's still thinking about the hammer toss. 155 00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:52,298 Man: Oh! 156 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,100 Boy: I'm so sorry, Dad. 157 00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:57,837 Dad? 158 00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:01,741 Even if you're not a professional bird nest remover, 159 00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,676 you should at least have a ladder. 160 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:08,848 ♪♪ 161 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,550 The comically colored scarf 162 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,387 doesn't exactly strike fear in the wasp nest community. 163 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:19,259 ♪♪ 164 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,661 [ Woman laughing ] 165 00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,263 [ Applause ] 166 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,836 We've been on the air for 35 years, 167 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,504 and much of the thanks goes to things 168 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,540 that make you say, "Ooh!" or "Aah!" 169 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,475 But right now I want to salute the things 170 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,744 that make you say, "Aww!" 171 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:46,086 ♪♪ 172 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,754 [ Cat meows ] 173 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:52,959 ♪♪ 174 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:58,131 ♪♪ 175 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,366 [ Woman laughing ] 176 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:02,302 Woman: This is driving me crazy. 177 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,271 I'm getting so sleepy. [ Laughs ] 178 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:10,510 ♪♪ 179 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,946 [ Woman laughs ] 180 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,315 [ Sneezes ] 181 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,484 Woman: Bless you. Oh, no. 182 00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:25,258 ♪♪ 183 00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,759 [ Gasps ] 184 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:29,128 [ People cheering ] 185 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,366 [ Crying ] 186 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:40,707 ♪♪ 187 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:47,814 ♪♪ 188 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,349 Man: Mable, what do you want to do? 189 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,085 Do you want to go for a ride, or do you want to go for a walk? 190 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:57,357 ♪♪ 191 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:02,629 ♪♪ 192 00:11:02,629 --> 00:11:04,697 [ Giggling ] 193 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,035 Woman: Would you like a little brother or sister? 194 00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:12,805 How about a little brother or sister? 195 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,407 Uh... 196 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,842 [ Laughter ] 197 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,377 [ Applause ] 198 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,445 I'm getting tired of movie trailers 199 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,281 that give away the entire movie. 200 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,784 Like, don't tell me every twist. Leave a little mystery. 201 00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,586 That's why I'm not gonna tell you anything 202 00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,087 about these next videos. 203 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:31,224 Oh, shoot, I shouldn't have even told you they were videos. 204 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,227 Great. I've ruined everything. 205 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,865 Every once in a while, nature just hands you 206 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,769 the opportunity for a great practical joke. 207 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,237 Woman: Terry, watch out! 208 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,739 [ Laughing ] 209 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:51,344 ♪♪ 210 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:55,515 Sometimes almost isn't good enough. 211 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,749 Boy: Oh! 212 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:01,220 Man: Don't move. 213 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,289 [ Laughter ] 214 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,927 How in the world did you get this? 215 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,596 Ribeiro: Some people put mousse in their hair. 216 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:13,166 So, I was standing over there, and Paisley was chasing it. 217 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,734 And I stood in the middle, 218 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,004 and then it just crawled up my leg and went in my hair. 219 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,739 Others go with chipmunks. 220 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,274 And I didn't know what to do. 221 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,542 Don't move. 222 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,078 I got some gloves up here. I'll get it out. 223 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:29,682 ♪♪ 224 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,018 He better not bite my neck. 225 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:37,190 Oh. [ Laughs ] 226 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,392 There was a chipmunk in my hair. 227 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,196 [ Orchestra playing ] 228 00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,134 Looks like the kettle drum had more oomph than he thought. 229 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,973 Luckily, his fellow drummer helps with this bummer. 230 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,378 Woman: Can you press the green one? 231 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,780 [ Note plays ] [ Laughs ] 232 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,715 Ribeiro: Not knowing which one is the green one 233 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,317 is the least of his problems. 234 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,120 Woman: What was that? [ Laughs ] 235 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:12,959 ♪♪ 236 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,428 Ribeiro: A well-placed hoe can turn any gardener 237 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,263 into a cartoon character. 238 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:24,170 ♪♪ 239 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:27,507 [ Woman laughing ] 240 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,443 Ribeiro: You might want a helmet that doesn't outweigh you. 241 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:38,518 ♪♪ 242 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,053 Woman: Sneaky. 243 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:45,224 ♪♪ 244 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,302 Nothing. 245 00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:59,539 Ribeiro: Guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt. 246 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:08,414 ♪♪ 247 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,755 Question -- When I have a headache and take an aspirin, 248 00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:19,192 how does the aspirin know to go to my head, hmm, hmm? 249 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,894 And if I take an aspirin and stand on my head, 250 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,697 will it get confused and go to my feet? 251 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,668 And if my head and feet hurt, do I have to just lay there flat? 252 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,269 Uh! 253 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:33,172 Man, this is just giving me a headache, okay? 254 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,174 Man: Wow. 255 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,776 Ribeiro: Elephants can carry tons of weight. 256 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,411 Come on. Come on. Okay. 257 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,714 Ribeiro: Plastic chairs, considerably less. 258 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:45,218 Oh. [ Laughs ] 259 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,819 Woman: Athena. [ Dog barks ] 260 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,321 Ribeiro: "Get a water feature," they said. 261 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,156 No! No, no, no, no, no, no! 262 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,125 "It'll be nice," they said. 263 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:59,799 ♪♪ 264 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,001 See, Elianna? Oh, you see that bug? 265 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,537 Ooh, bug. Ooh! 266 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,406 The problem with ladybugs? 267 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,640 Oh, you're gonna touch it? 268 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,041 They look like M&M's. 269 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,510 [ Gasps ] No. No, no, no. 270 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,011 Did you eat him? Oh, God. 271 00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:14,847 [ Laughs ] 272 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,818 While she's working on her swing... 273 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,720 Dad should work on his reflexes. 274 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,588 [ Laughter ] 275 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,993 I think the day they invented the doorbell cam 276 00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,862 is the day ding-dong ditch died. 277 00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,466 [ Doorbell rings ] 278 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,973 Sometimes terror can be adorable. 279 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,176 Man: Hey, you. [ Both squeal ] 280 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:44,377 [ Laughter ] 281 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,279 Hi. 282 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,214 How about you slip on your driveway, 283 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:50,349 you know, just for splits and giggles? 284 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:55,254 ♪♪ 285 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,790 A good belly rub is nothing to sneeze at. 286 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,692 Baby, baby! [ Dog sneezes ] 287 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,428 [ Woman laughing ] 288 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,131 Man: Sienna, what do you think of 289 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:09,502 your first-ever solar eclipse so far? 290 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,839 What? 291 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,875 Cool? 292 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:19,846 ♪♪ 293 00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:22,615 We know what Maple thinks about it. 294 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,917 Ribeiro: Not all dogs are into astronomy. 295 00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:33,726 Everyone dreams of finding a message in a bottle, 296 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,595 like a map to hidden treasure. 297 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,598 In this next video, a nice woman finds a message in a bottle. 298 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,133 But it's not the kind of message she was hoping for, 299 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,870 and it definitely doesn't lead her to treasure, 300 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,772 at least not the kind she'd ever want to find. 301 00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:49,008 Okay, I found this out in the ocean 302 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,477 out past the pier this morning. 303 00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,446 It's a message in a bottle. 304 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,448 So we're gonna open it, and we're gonna -- 305 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,083 If I can. 306 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,256 Come on. 307 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:06,492 Woman: Who's got really long fingers? 308 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,027 Emma. Woman #2: Oh, I don't want -- 309 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:12,999 See the -- the shells and stuff that was in it. 310 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,901 I guess I don't need all that. 311 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,540 Oh, my gosh, imagine -- I can't get it out. 312 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,642 I stopped the video. 313 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,076 I stopped the video, but I saved it. 314 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,144 Okay. 315 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:26,679 And I'm starting over. 316 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,514 Alright. 317 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,284 Who's got long fingers -- fingers that can -- 318 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,652 Emma. Almost. 319 00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,287 Wait. 320 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,055 Alright, I got it. 321 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,824 [ Cheering ] We got it! 322 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,359 What does it say? Okay, let's see what it says. 323 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,562 Woman: Read it out. 324 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,666 "Local, in this bottle is the ashes of my dear h--" 325 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:47,867 Oh, God. 326 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,770 [ Laughter ] 327 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,005 Oh, my God! 328 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,711 She has dead people on her hands. 329 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,746 Help me scoop it up. 330 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,185 People keep talking about doing away with the penny 331 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:09,355 because, let's face it, pennies are practically useless. 332 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:12,091 In fact, the only thing worth less than one cent 333 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,926 is my two cents. 334 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,863 Hey, wait a minute. That math ain't mathing. 335 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:19,865 I'm gonna give you my two cents, 336 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:24,437 which is about as worthless as two actual cents. 337 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,738 My two cents? 338 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,239 When giving your dogs a treat, 339 00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:31,310 might I suggest a treat that looks a little less finger-like? 340 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,745 Woman: Easy, babe. 341 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,480 Good baby. 342 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,882 Easy, babe. Ooh! 343 00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:41,187 Life pro tip -- If dad says, "How about you all bend down 344 00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,789 while I launch a foam airplane over your heads," 345 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,391 just say no. 346 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:51,497 Woman: Oh! Sorry. I'm sorry. 347 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,534 Some unsolicited advice -- 348 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,737 If you can't tell park from reverse, 349 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:01,640 stick to an old-fashioned lawnmower you just push. 350 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,976 [ Tractor engine rumbling ] 351 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,490 Just my humble opinion, 352 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,658 but I think surprise parties work better 353 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,360 when you wait for the guests of honor 354 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,397 to park their car before surprising them. 355 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,098 [ Indistinct talking ] 356 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,800 Child: I did. I did. 357 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,502 I rided it all day. 358 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,903 Man: I'm taking video. 359 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,172 [ Garage door whirring ] 360 00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,244 [ People screaming, tires screech ] 361 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,815 Woman: Oh, my God. 362 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,318 Ribeiro: This has been "My Two Cents," 363 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,854 and you can take that to the bank. 364 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,756 [ Applause ] 365 00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:57,163 Fun fact -- Dogs evolved from wolves, 366 00:19:57,163 --> 00:20:00,099 and they're the first species where friendliness 367 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,934 was an adaptation for survival. 368 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,169 It's true. Yeah. 369 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:05,271 You don't see packs of wild hyenas going 370 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:06,772 [British accent] "After you, ol' chum!" 371 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,974 "No, no, no, no, no, no. After you. 372 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,543 There's plenty of zebra to go around." 373 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,112 "Oh, righty-o! If you insist. 374 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:15,881 Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nom!" 375 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,216 [ Normal voice ] Release the hounds. 376 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,685 It's time to go to the "Dog Park." 377 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,720 [ Toy squeaks, dog barks ] 378 00:20:24,356 --> 00:20:25,991 Woman: Look at this dog. 379 00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,494 Every good thief... Did you steal something in your dad's truck? 380 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:29,595 Oh! 381 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,063 ...has a lookout pug. 382 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,099 [ Laughing ] That you weren't supposed to? 383 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,237 Get over here. 384 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,473 Ribeiro: His harness can't contain him. 385 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,774 Woman: Oh, God. 386 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,110 He's 70 pounds now. I gotta pick him up. 387 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:45,411 Do you want me to grab him? 388 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,947 Ribeiro: And his owner can barely carry him. 389 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,415 Come on. 390 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,617 [ Woman laughs ] 391 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,452 Oh, my God. 392 00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,423 [ Indistinct talking ] 393 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:05,231 Woman: Just walked in the door with my groceries to this. 394 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:08,434 And the best part is... 395 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,003 the problem is contained. 396 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,273 Not entirely sure how he got in there, 397 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,742 but it kept him from getting into any more trouble. 398 00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:21,013 ♪♪ 399 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,082 You gonna listen? 400 00:21:23,082 --> 00:21:25,651 Get in the truck. 401 00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:28,621 Ribeiro: His owner didn't know he called shotgun. 402 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,422 Man: Wrong door, dingus. 403 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:32,558 Ribeiro: And who names their dog Dingus? 404 00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:37,963 ♪♪ 405 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,533 Woman: So you want a...today? 406 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:43,335 Ribeiro: His favorite thing to do is to look out the window. 407 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,671 [ Dog barking ] 408 00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:47,373 Way to ruin it for him. 409 00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:53,846 ♪♪ 410 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:56,148 Woman: Winston. 411 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,083 Winston, did you get into my bag? 412 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,352 Ribeiro: Some faces you can never stay mad at. 413 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:03,355 Woman: Did you get into my bag? Oh! 414 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,624 Ribeiro: Even when they have a stolen cookie in it. 415 00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:09,962 ♪♪ 416 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:17,836 ♪♪ 417 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,573 You don't need a passport to visit the animal kingdom. 418 00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:21,941 But if you did, these people 419 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:24,009 should have their passports revoked. 420 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:27,146 They're more indoor people is what I'm trying to say. 421 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,881 Man: Alright, you're good. Keep going. 422 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:31,951 Ribeiro: Better check your O-rings. 423 00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:35,588 Oh, my God. Oh! Oh, God! 424 00:22:35,588 --> 00:22:37,790 And your opossum rings. 425 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:41,260 ♪♪ 426 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,462 [ Dog barking ] 427 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:50,202 I'm not sure if that's the world's toughest little dog 428 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,304 or the world's luckiest little dog. 429 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,039 Come on! [ Screams ] 430 00:22:54,039 --> 00:23:00,479 ♪♪ 431 00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:02,715 [ Screaming ] 432 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:06,585 Ribeiro: Exhibit A that some squirrels are just born jerks. 433 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,555 Woman: He's going to kiss you. 434 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:11,056 Oh, yeah. It's wonderful. Alright. 435 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,325 You're good. We're not dating, now. 436 00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:16,428 [ Laughs ] Go get your fish. 437 00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,730 Oh, God. 438 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,999 Ribeiro: This guy gets the seal of approval. 439 00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:21,133 [ Sea lion grunts ] 440 00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:22,368 Oh, yeah. 441 00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:23,802 Oh! 442 00:23:23,802 --> 00:23:26,372 That's real nice. Alright. 443 00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:27,640 Ugh. 444 00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:34,280 Ribeiro: This bird feeder attracts everybody but birds. 445 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,619 People aren't the only ones 446 00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:43,555 who don't like raccoons getting into their stuff. 447 00:23:43,555 --> 00:23:45,791 [ Growling ] 448 00:23:48,494 --> 00:23:49,995 Woman: Is it still back there? 449 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:52,564 Yep. Right? 450 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:56,568 Don't break the TV, Brandon. 451 00:23:56,568 --> 00:24:00,072 Ribeiro: Exhibit B that some squirrels are just born jerks. 452 00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:02,174 [ Shouts ] 453 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,109 [ Woman screaming ] 454 00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:10,516 ♪♪ 455 00:24:10,516 --> 00:24:13,285 Get it outside! 456 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,254 Girl: Oh, they're so -- Woman: Oh, my God. 457 00:24:15,254 --> 00:24:17,389 Ribeiro: Raccoons may rummage through your trash, 458 00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:20,392 but they'll also help you create some dramatic mood lighting. 459 00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:21,760 Oh, my gosh. 460 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,028 Man: Oh, my God. Are you getting this? 461 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:24,263 I am. 462 00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:25,664 Oh, my God! 463 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,132 Ribeiro: Which is nice. 464 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,001 [ Laughter ] 465 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,239 [ Applause ] 466 00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:38,711 Do you ever show up early for a meeting, 467 00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:40,379 so you decide to drive around the block 468 00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:43,716 to try not to look like the loser who arrived way too early? 469 00:24:43,716 --> 00:24:47,019 But then you drive a little too far, get stuck in traffic, 470 00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:48,988 and end up having to run to your meeting? 471 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:53,058 So now you're late, out of breath, sweaty, and panicking? 472 00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:56,028 No? Yeah, yeah. Me neither, me neither. 473 00:24:56,028 --> 00:24:59,531 Yeah, I don't even know why you brought that up. 474 00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:02,768 Here are some videos that arrived just on time. 475 00:25:02,768 --> 00:25:03,902 Hi! 476 00:25:03,902 --> 00:25:07,373 Hi. Is my dad here? 477 00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:09,008 He's on the phone, but -- 478 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:12,077 [ Speaks indistinctly ] [ Gasps ] Your car. 479 00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:13,946 Ribeiro: You think people are the only ones 480 00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:16,982 who want to go play in the snow? 481 00:25:16,982 --> 00:25:18,617 You got it. It's gonna stop. 482 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:21,954 It's gonna stop. It's gonna stop. 483 00:25:21,954 --> 00:25:25,024 Woman: Did you learn a new trick? 484 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,159 Did you learn a new trick? 485 00:25:27,159 --> 00:25:29,328 Do you want to show everybody your new trick? 486 00:25:29,328 --> 00:25:31,797 [ Baby burps ] [ Woman laughs ] 487 00:25:34,933 --> 00:25:38,670 Ribeiro: Looks like the dog's not much of a book person. 488 00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:40,072 Ow. 489 00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:47,379 Maybe poolside isn't the best place for a new bike ride. 490 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:51,050 ♪♪ 491 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:52,384 Come on. 492 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,389 You're so radiant. 493 00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:00,058 You're so full of life and you're such a genuine person. 494 00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:02,761 I know you guys are gonna have so much great adventure. 495 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:05,497 Ribeiro: They were going for a surprise ending to the video 496 00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,767 but ended up surprising themselves. 497 00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:09,768 [ Bang ] 498 00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,303 [ Laughs ] 499 00:26:11,303 --> 00:26:14,540 Double the midlife crisis. Double the fun. 500 00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:16,341 Man: Oh. 501 00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:17,810 [ Laughter ] 502 00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:22,815 ♪♪ 503 00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:26,351 Ribeiro: I know babies see their dads as larger than life. 504 00:26:29,021 --> 00:26:33,025 But how large does he think Dad's mouth is? 505 00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,593 Ahh! 506 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:39,998 ♪♪ 507 00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:42,668 Some people spell "whew" with a W-H, 508 00:26:42,668 --> 00:26:45,237 and some spell "phew" with a P-H. 509 00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:46,638 Now, I don't care how you spell it, 510 00:26:46,638 --> 00:26:48,207 but you'll definitely be seeing it 511 00:26:48,207 --> 00:26:50,275 as you watch these close calls. 512 00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,743 Whew! 513 00:26:51,743 --> 00:26:56,281 ♪♪ 514 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:58,350 [ Roaring ] 515 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:05,157 That was close. Sister almost missed her. 516 00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:13,198 The new dad has some new-dad reflexes. 517 00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:19,872 Yet another reason to not stand under a tree 518 00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:21,807 during a lightning storm. 519 00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:27,880 ♪♪ 520 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,848 Hello, everyone! 521 00:27:29,848 --> 00:27:32,951 Today I just lost my first tooth. 522 00:27:34,753 --> 00:27:36,121 Man: Let's see the tooth. 523 00:27:36,121 --> 00:27:39,925 She presents the tooth. 524 00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:41,860 Ah! 525 00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,929 Ribeiro: Forget the tooth fairy. Hold on. 526 00:27:43,929 --> 00:27:46,031 They may get a visit from the plumber. 527 00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:48,367 Very still. 528 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:50,402 Wait a second. 529 00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:52,638 Girl: Yay! It's stuck on my hand. 530 00:27:52,638 --> 00:27:55,207 Wait, wait. It's stuck on my hand. 531 00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:57,409 [ Laughter ] 532 00:27:57,409 --> 00:27:59,211 How did it stick on my hand? 533 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:01,046 Woman: Drum roll. 534 00:28:01,046 --> 00:28:04,016 Ribeiro: Next birthday, individual cupcakes. 535 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,217 Woman: Whoo! 536 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,152 Crowd: Oh! 537 00:28:07,152 --> 00:28:09,555 [ Laughter ] 538 00:28:09,555 --> 00:28:11,757 Someone got that on camera. 539 00:28:11,757 --> 00:28:14,293 [ Laughter ] 540 00:28:14,293 --> 00:28:15,827 Ribeiro: Two, four, six, eight. 541 00:28:15,827 --> 00:28:17,529 Hold your toddlers. That'd be great. 542 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:18,664 [ Shrieks ] 543 00:28:18,664 --> 00:28:20,332 [ Laughter ] 544 00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:23,101 Dad, I'm gonna pull forward. 545 00:28:23,101 --> 00:28:24,269 What? 546 00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:26,905 Everleigh! Everleigh! 547 00:28:26,905 --> 00:28:28,574 [ Shrieks ] 548 00:28:28,574 --> 00:28:30,776 [ Tires screech ] 549 00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:34,146 Man: Good save, bro. 550 00:28:34,146 --> 00:28:38,250 Ribeiro: He picked the perfect day to dress like a superhero. 551 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:40,719 Man: Good thing Captain America was here. 552 00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:46,191 ♪♪ 553 00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:48,560 Hide-and-seek, it's a simple game. 554 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,629 One person hides, the other person seeks. 555 00:28:50,629 --> 00:28:53,599 And yet so many kids do it so very poorly. 556 00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:55,434 So if you seek entertainment, 557 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:57,869 don't hide from this montage of hopeless hiders 558 00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,571 and so-so seekers. 559 00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:04,409 Woman: So, me and Ty are looking for Silo. 560 00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,078 Wonder where he is. 561 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,380 Boy: I wonder where he is. 562 00:29:08,380 --> 00:29:12,317 Man: ...four, five, six... 563 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,620 Go get it. Go get it. 564 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:20,726 ♪♪ 565 00:29:20,726 --> 00:29:23,328 Woman: Any idea where he is? Yeah? 566 00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:26,431 Do you have an idea where he is? Where do you think he is? 567 00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:34,473 ♪♪ 568 00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:35,741 Aah! [ Screams ] 569 00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:36,908 [ Woman screams ] 570 00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:46,952 ♪♪ 571 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:53,458 ♪♪ 572 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,460 Man: Is she on the bed? 573 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,929 No. Is she under this blanket? 574 00:29:57,929 --> 00:30:01,466 No. She's not over here. 575 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,935 Man: Mommy, have you seen Chris anywhere? 576 00:30:03,935 --> 00:30:05,570 I just can't find him. 577 00:30:05,570 --> 00:30:07,639 He's got, like, this really good spot. 578 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:10,308 Ohh, I wish I knew where Chris was. 579 00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:15,047 Woman: Did you make a wish? 580 00:30:15,047 --> 00:30:16,148 Not yet. 581 00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,284 Man: Okay. 582 00:30:22,688 --> 00:30:24,056 [ Laughter ] 583 00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:27,359 Ask your kid what they would wish for 584 00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:30,328 and upload it to AFV.com. 585 00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:37,636 There are two types of people in the world, 586 00:30:37,636 --> 00:30:39,471 people who hang out on their porch 587 00:30:39,471 --> 00:30:42,007 and people who never want to interact with their neighbors. 588 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:43,208 You know what? Wait. 589 00:30:43,208 --> 00:30:44,643 You know, there are actually three types, 590 00:30:44,643 --> 00:30:46,778 because many people don't even have porches. 591 00:30:46,778 --> 00:30:49,815 So for the plethora of porch-less people on the planet, 592 00:30:49,815 --> 00:30:52,751 I dedicate these porch-based boneheads. 593 00:30:52,751 --> 00:30:58,090 ♪♪ 594 00:30:58,090 --> 00:31:00,225 A dude on a dilapidated deck 595 00:31:00,225 --> 00:31:02,961 makes for some awfully anxious alliteration. 596 00:31:10,502 --> 00:31:12,204 I'm starting to think "big hammock" 597 00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:15,273 is in cahoots with "big chiropractor." 598 00:31:15,273 --> 00:31:16,408 Aah! 599 00:31:16,408 --> 00:31:18,577 [ Dog growling ] 600 00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:22,080 All these years I thought dogs hated the mailman. 601 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,783 [ Dog growling ] 602 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:27,119 Turns out they just hate the mail. 603 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:31,890 Ow! 604 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,092 Ribeiro: Oh, no. 605 00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:35,160 Don't worry. 606 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,628 Your friend will be there to help. 607 00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:37,696 She just slipped on the stair. 608 00:31:37,696 --> 00:31:39,364 I'm okay, I'm okay. 609 00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:45,103 By making you look not so bad in comparison. 610 00:31:45,103 --> 00:31:47,939 [ Shouts ] 611 00:31:47,939 --> 00:31:51,109 Oh! 612 00:31:51,109 --> 00:31:52,911 Gotta go. Yeah, I gotta go. 613 00:31:52,911 --> 00:31:54,846 Alright. 614 00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:57,516 Pull her up. Pull her up that way. 615 00:31:57,516 --> 00:32:01,086 Mommy just fell, too. 616 00:32:01,086 --> 00:32:02,087 Mama. 617 00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:04,156 I can't talk right now. 618 00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:09,027 Ribeiro: Want to see a fruit platter splatter? 619 00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:17,235 ♪♪ 620 00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:25,444 ♪♪ 621 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:27,712 She's sneaking under the peephole 622 00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:29,748 to drop off a birthday card. 623 00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:36,521 Guess she hasn't heard about doorbell cameras yet. 624 00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:42,561 ♪♪ 625 00:32:42,561 --> 00:32:48,600 ♪♪ 626 00:32:51,870 --> 00:32:53,472 You know what the world needs now? 627 00:32:57,776 --> 00:33:00,111 [ Clippers buzzing ] 628 00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:11,790 I hope you've enjoyed... 629 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,828 [ Applause ] 630 00:33:21,032 --> 00:33:24,569 Hey, Alfonso, can I see some more birthday videos? 631 00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:26,805 Ha. Okay, Jason. 632 00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:30,141 If you think putting pictures of me in your video 633 00:33:30,141 --> 00:33:33,512 is gonna get me to show birthday videos... 634 00:33:33,512 --> 00:33:34,913 well, you're absolutely right. 635 00:33:34,913 --> 00:33:36,214 How could I say no to that face? 636 00:33:36,214 --> 00:33:37,516 I mean, come on, man. 637 00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:39,317 Group: Happy birthday! 638 00:33:39,317 --> 00:33:40,619 [ Cheering ] 639 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:43,288 Ribeiro: They told her to blow out the candles. 640 00:33:43,288 --> 00:33:45,190 They didn't say from which end. 641 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,558 [ Farts ] 642 00:33:46,558 --> 00:33:49,160 [ Laughter ] 643 00:33:52,297 --> 00:33:55,967 Group: ♪ Happy birthday to you 644 00:33:55,967 --> 00:33:58,169 Person: Whoo! 645 00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:01,006 Man: Come on! [ Laughs ] 646 00:34:01,006 --> 00:34:03,808 Those are trick candles, I think. 647 00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,176 Ribeiro: You don't get to her age 648 00:34:05,176 --> 00:34:07,012 without learning how to problem-solve. 649 00:34:07,012 --> 00:34:09,481 Woman: Help her, help her, Dan. 650 00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:12,050 [ Laughs ] 651 00:34:14,753 --> 00:34:16,154 Ribeiro: The piñata's full of candy. 652 00:34:16,154 --> 00:34:17,422 Don't hit me with -- No. 653 00:34:17,422 --> 00:34:19,491 His elbow, not so much. 654 00:34:19,491 --> 00:34:20,592 Woman: Watch, watch. 655 00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:21,826 [ Screams ] 656 00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:24,429 [ Laughter ] 657 00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:26,498 It's over here. 658 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:32,003 Woman: You found Mama's cake? 659 00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:34,105 How did it get on the floor? 660 00:34:34,105 --> 00:34:36,141 Because it's very shiny. 661 00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:37,509 It's very shiny. 662 00:34:37,509 --> 00:34:39,644 How did the shiny cake get on the floor? 663 00:34:39,644 --> 00:34:42,514 Ribeiro: Matthew -- master of distraction. 664 00:34:42,514 --> 00:34:44,149 Uh-oh. What's that? 665 00:34:46,284 --> 00:34:47,786 [ Laughs ] 666 00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:50,288 Nobody's knocking on the door. 667 00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:55,226 Both: ♪ Happy birthday to -- 668 00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,629 [ Laughs ] 669 00:35:01,066 --> 00:35:02,667 Together: ♪ ...birthday to you 670 00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:05,136 Ribeiro: Who invited the birthday police? 671 00:35:05,136 --> 00:35:06,638 Man: Whoo! Hold on, Ellison. 672 00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:11,443 Woman: How's it smell, Paige-y? 673 00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,845 Paige-y, you got to smell right up here. 674 00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:14,946 Smell it. 675 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:18,216 [ Laughs ] Auntie Molly got you. 676 00:35:18,216 --> 00:35:19,584 Ribeiro: Fool me once, shame on you. 677 00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:20,952 Smell it good enough. What's that? 678 00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,254 Fool me twice... What is that? 679 00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:24,356 ...cake on me. 680 00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:26,291 [ Laughter ] 681 00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:30,495 [ Applause ] 682 00:35:36,034 --> 00:35:38,136 Your birthday party is the only time 683 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:40,038 you can wear a cone-shaped hat 684 00:35:40,038 --> 00:35:42,774 and blow on a dessert that everyone's about to share 685 00:35:42,774 --> 00:35:44,275 without people thinking you're weird. 686 00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:47,145 And that's why birthdays are tonight's "Assignment America." 687 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,747 They may only come once a year, 688 00:35:48,747 --> 00:35:52,250 but we want you to send us your birthday videos all year-round. 689 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:54,919 Jess, tell 'em how it's done. 690 00:35:54,919 --> 00:35:58,123 Did your birthday celebration end in frustration? 691 00:35:58,123 --> 00:35:59,991 Did someone drop the cake by mistake? 692 00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,626 If your special day went astray, 693 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:03,294 send a video to us right away. 694 00:36:03,294 --> 00:36:05,497 It could win you 20 or even 100 grand. 695 00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,465 Just upload the video to AFV.com. 696 00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:09,968 For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com. 697 00:36:09,968 --> 00:36:11,803 Don't forget to send us your birthday clips, 698 00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:14,072 because we like presents, too. 699 00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:22,347 It's been a great show. 700 00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:23,615 Laughter's good for your health. 701 00:36:23,615 --> 00:36:25,150 And now three lucky families 702 00:36:25,150 --> 00:36:27,118 will do some good for their wealth. 703 00:36:27,118 --> 00:36:28,586 Let's meet our finalists. 704 00:36:28,586 --> 00:36:31,423 First up, gifts are great, the getting, the giving. 705 00:36:31,423 --> 00:36:34,559 But sometimes kids forget if the giver's still living. 706 00:36:34,559 --> 00:36:36,194 It's "Surprise, She's Still Alive," 707 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:40,231 sent in by Mike Palopoli from Deltona, Florida. 708 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:47,172 Also... 709 00:36:53,978 --> 00:36:55,613 Woman: No, she lives in New York, silly. 710 00:36:55,613 --> 00:36:56,648 Oh. 711 00:36:58,183 --> 00:37:01,686 Joining us are Mike, Ashlee, Ace, and Mason. 712 00:37:01,686 --> 00:37:04,022 Now, Mike and Ashlee, what do you think 713 00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:07,525 made Ace think Aunt Carol might be in heaven? 714 00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:10,061 Well, it's been a few years since she -- he -- 715 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,930 they've seen her, and we travel a lot, 716 00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:14,899 so I think he was just making sure she was still with us. 717 00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:16,101 Alright, alright, I like that. 718 00:37:16,101 --> 00:37:18,169 And, Ace, were you happy to hear that Aunt Carol 719 00:37:18,169 --> 00:37:21,072 was still living in Florida? 720 00:37:21,072 --> 00:37:23,241 Yes. 721 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:24,642 Well, good. I'm glad you're happy. 722 00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:27,746 We're all happy that Aunt Carol is with us, okay? 723 00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:28,980 Well, good luck. 724 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,415 Let's see if we can get the big money, alright? 725 00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,417 Yeah. Alright. 726 00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:35,854 Next up, finding a message in a bottle, that gives one hope. 727 00:37:35,854 --> 00:37:38,756 But here's one that will have you reaching for soap. 728 00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:40,291 It's "Life Was a Beach," 729 00:37:40,291 --> 00:37:44,496 sent in by Cindy Good from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. 730 00:37:44,496 --> 00:37:46,664 It's a message in a bottle. 731 00:37:46,664 --> 00:37:48,533 So we're gonna open it and we're gonna -- 732 00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:50,668 If I can. 733 00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:52,003 Woman: Emma. Woman #2: Oh, I don't want -- 734 00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:55,673 See the -- the shells and stuff that was in it. 735 00:37:57,008 --> 00:38:00,411 "In this bottle is the ashes of my dear h--" 736 00:38:00,411 --> 00:38:01,646 Oh, God. 737 00:38:01,646 --> 00:38:03,848 [ Laughter ] 738 00:38:03,848 --> 00:38:07,018 Joining us are Cindy and Sarah. 739 00:38:07,018 --> 00:38:09,854 Now, Cindy, you called the woman who wrote the letter. 740 00:38:09,854 --> 00:38:12,023 What was her reaction? 741 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:13,525 She wanted me to put the bot-- 742 00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:15,493 put the bottle back in the ocean. 743 00:38:15,493 --> 00:38:16,661 Alright, that makes sense. 744 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:18,096 And what do you think you'll do 745 00:38:18,096 --> 00:38:21,466 the next time you see a bottle on the beach? 746 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:25,003 I will pick it up and -- and see what's inside. 747 00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:27,372 But I'll know what it is next time. 748 00:38:27,372 --> 00:38:30,508 Are you gonna, like, dump it all in your hand? 749 00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:33,077 Yeah, but I'll make sure I have hand sanitizer. 750 00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:35,246 Alright, I like that idea. I like that idea. 751 00:38:35,246 --> 00:38:37,549 Good luck. Both: Thank you. 752 00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:38,883 Alright. 753 00:38:38,883 --> 00:38:40,952 And finally, doorbell cameras are great. 754 00:38:40,952 --> 00:38:42,520 They tell you who's there, 755 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,757 but when you don't want to be seen, it just seems so unfair. 756 00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,492 It's "Not-So-Sneaky Senior," 757 00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:50,862 sent in by Teresa Potter from Branson, Missouri. 758 00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:53,131 [ Applause ] 759 00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:55,266 She's sneaking under the peephole 760 00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:57,402 to drop off a birthday card. 761 00:38:57,402 --> 00:39:00,605 Guess she hasn't heard about doorbell cameras yet. 762 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:12,517 Joining us are Teresa and Jeanne. 763 00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:14,686 Now, Jeanne, why were you sneaking around 764 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,788 on Teresa's stoop? 765 00:39:16,788 --> 00:39:20,058 Well, I like to place birthday cards on the doors 766 00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:23,561 the night before somebody's birthday as a surprise. 767 00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:24,996 Oh, well, that's wonderful. 768 00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:27,298 And, Teresa, when you got the alert on your camera, 769 00:39:27,298 --> 00:39:29,834 what were you expecting to see? 770 00:39:29,834 --> 00:39:34,372 I didn't know what was out there, but it wa-- I just -- 771 00:39:34,372 --> 00:39:36,007 I was about to die laughing. 772 00:39:36,007 --> 00:39:37,508 And my husband was still asleep. 773 00:39:37,508 --> 00:39:41,512 And so I was trying not to laugh out loud. 774 00:39:41,512 --> 00:39:44,082 Well, all I can tell you is we're all laughing out loud 775 00:39:44,082 --> 00:39:45,350 'cause it was very funny. 776 00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:46,985 So good luck, y'all, alright? 777 00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:48,820 Thank you. Thank you. 778 00:39:48,820 --> 00:39:50,955 Alright, we're gonna find out who takes home the cash 779 00:39:50,955 --> 00:39:52,523 in just a minute, but first let's take a look 780 00:39:52,523 --> 00:39:54,993 at some of the clips that didn't make our top three 781 00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:57,195 in tonight's honorable mention. 782 00:39:59,998 --> 00:40:02,166 [ Bicycle bell rings, tires screech ] 783 00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:08,640 [ Engine revving ] 784 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,308 [ Boing! ] 785 00:40:10,308 --> 00:40:13,444 [ Patter! Whistle! ] 786 00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:16,414 [ Bang! ] 787 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:19,884 [ Creak! ] 788 00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:21,519 [ Creak, thwack! ] 789 00:40:21,519 --> 00:40:23,421 [ Screams ] 790 00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:30,428 [ Clattering ] 791 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,497 [ Applause ] 792 00:40:34,098 --> 00:40:36,401 Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes -- 793 00:40:36,401 --> 00:40:39,837 $20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third. 794 00:40:39,837 --> 00:40:40,938 Here we go. 795 00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:44,342 Our third-place $4,000 winner is... 796 00:40:44,342 --> 00:40:45,777 "Not-So-Sneaky Senior," 797 00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:48,980 sent in by Teresa Potter from Branson, Missouri. 798 00:40:48,980 --> 00:40:51,416 [ Cheers and applause ] 799 00:40:51,416 --> 00:40:52,950 Thank you. 800 00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,320 And the winner of the $20,000 801 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,856 and tonight's funniest home video is... 802 00:40:58,856 --> 00:41:00,591 "Surprise, She's Still Alive," 803 00:41:00,591 --> 00:41:04,329 sent in by Mike Palopoli from Deltona, Florida. 804 00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:07,765 We have Ace, Mason, Ashlee, and Mike. 805 00:41:07,765 --> 00:41:11,636 Wow! Congratulations! You won! 806 00:41:11,636 --> 00:41:15,540 Now, Dad, tell us, what was Ace's reaction 807 00:41:15,540 --> 00:41:19,410 when he heard the video was gonna be on "AFV"? 808 00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:21,612 I think we were all pretty surprised. 809 00:41:21,612 --> 00:41:25,249 But when we told Ace, he told us, "Oh, they hired me," 810 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,952 so he thought he got the job. 811 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:29,821 Well, you know, I guess technically 812 00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:31,322 we did hire you, right? 813 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:35,893 I mean, at the rate of $20,000 for 30 seconds of work. 814 00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:40,031 I'd say that's a pretty good starting salary, if you ask me. 815 00:41:40,031 --> 00:41:41,966 I'd say so. He's doing better than me. 816 00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:44,602 Yeah, boy. And me, okay? 817 00:41:44,602 --> 00:41:46,471 So congratulations. 818 00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:51,442 You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000. 819 00:41:51,442 --> 00:41:53,244 [ Cheers and applause ] 820 00:41:53,244 --> 00:41:55,580 Congratulations. 821 00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:58,249 Well, they say that nice guys finish last, 822 00:41:58,249 --> 00:42:01,085 but nice shows finish right on time. 823 00:42:01,085 --> 00:42:02,854 And that time is now. 824 00:42:02,854 --> 00:42:04,789 Good night. We'll see you next time. 825 00:42:04,789 --> 00:42:06,224 And don't forget, if you upload a video 826 00:42:06,224 --> 00:42:08,893 and it airs on the show, will send you an "AFV" T-shirt. 827 00:42:08,893 --> 00:42:10,061 So good night, everybody. 828 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:11,729 And remember, send your video to me, 829 00:42:11,729 --> 00:42:13,264 you might win 20 G's. 830 00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:14,499 Good night, y'all. 831 00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:16,534 [ Cheers and applause ] 832 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:19,604 -- Captions by VITAC -- 833 00:42:19,604 --> 00:42:29,614 ♪♪ 834 00:42:29,614 --> 00:42:39,657 ♪♪ 835 00:42:39,657 --> 00:42:54,417 ♪♪