Ribeiro: It's "AFV" time.
So here's a sneak peek if it's funny videos you seek.
[ Woman laughing ]
Aaah!
♪♪
Woman: You got to take that off.
That's Mommy's underwear.
♪♪
Welcome to "America's Funniest Home Videos."
And now here he is, the host of our show -- Alfonso Ribeiro!
Let's do it.
Come on, come on. That's what I'm talking about.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hello and welcome to "America's Funniest Videos."
If you're tired of Hollywood churning out nothing
but sequels and prequels, you're in luck,
because here at "AFV," we don't play that.
Mainly because our show doesn't have characters
or any sort of plot,
but that's beside the point.
So forget about sequels and never mind prequels.
It's all about laughs and all things being equal.
The slide thinks that this is such a bad idea
that it tries to leave.
Oh! [ Woman laughing ]
♪♪
Woman: Love you. [ Laughter ]
Holy crap.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I'm done.
Ribeiro: He seems a bit young to be suffering for his art.
All done.
Ribeiro: Goats can climb mountains and yet tiny wooden steps
give them trouble.
♪♪
[ Woman laughing ]
Oops. [ Laughing ]
Ribeiro: Carrying the bride across the threshold is adorable.
It's even more adorable
if you keep the room key in your pocket.
Dress is slippy.
Do it. Okay.
I'm about to do a headstand.
Okay. Watch.
Ribeiro: It's good to stay hydrated when working out,
but not this hydrated.
♪♪
Imagine a place where the greatest snacks are found
on the kitchen floor and scooting your butt
across the carpet is a socially acceptable way
of getting around.
That's right.
I'm talking about the "Dog Park."
Release the hounds.
[ Dog barking ]
It's time to go to the "Dog Park."
Ribeiro: Now a moment with a dog jumping at a dog
jumping at a dog jumping at a dog.
This dog is the ultimate copycat.
This has been a moment with a dog jumping
at a dog jumping at a dog jumping at a dog.
"Training the Best Dog Ever."
I think she should return that book.
You know, if they didn't eat the receipt.
[ Dog barking ]
[ Bonk ]
The new glass door is taking some getting used to.
[ Laughter, dogs barking ]
While you might just see two dogs squabbling over a bone,
their sibling sees a fun new addition
to the living room obstacle course.
Man: ♪ Falling down, falling down, falling down ♪
♪ London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady ♪
Child: Macie, quit it.
Ribeiro: I love it.
She's combined her love of the car
with her love of fetching sticks.
[ Laughter ]
Child: She got it!
[ Woman laughing ]
Ribeiro: You know you're tired when you can't even slurp milk properly.
Man: What a mess.
[ Baby laughing ]
Ribeiro: Now that the new baby has arrived,
a certain someone has to pull out all the stops to try
and get attention.
[ Laughing continues ]
It's a standoff.
Or more accurately, a "snout-off."
She's got a good solid post right next to her,
yet she ties the leash to a flimsy plastic chair.
Let's see how this unfolds.
Stay right there.
♪♪
Ruby, stop.
Ruby! Come here!
Come here!
Why won't Ruby listen to her?
Come here. Stop!
Oh, that's better.
[ Applause ]
It's time for a montage.
And this one's set to a song called "You Are No Good for me."
It features couples where one partner heard
"for better or for worse" and thought, "Worse, please."
♪ One, two, buckle my shoe ♪
♪ Shoulda known better what's I got to do ♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
♪ Three, four, crawling on the floor ♪
♪ What you're doing's killing me ♪
♪ So why do I want more? ♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
Aah!
[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
♪ Seven, eight, I tried to play it straight ♪
♪ But you know how much I love it ♪
♪ When you shove it in my face ♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
♪ I'm tired, it's late, I'm drunk, this ain't a date ♪
♪ I know how much you love it ♪
♪ When I'm scrounging off your plate ♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
♪ You are no good for me ♪
Got a funny video? Upload it to AFV.com.
♪ You are no good for me ♪
Overthinking is a real problem.
Don't overthink. Unless you're a bonehead,
in which case you tend to underthink.
Then you should overthink because it will bring
your thinking up to a normal level of thinking.
I mean, you don't have to, but think about it.
Careful. Those front steps might be icy.
Wow.
Oh, Kyra. Come on.
I'm sure Devin will be a bit more careful
after seeing what happened to Kyra.
I'm not stepping --
Baby!
You wonder how many people need to slip
before the others at this house start getting the message.
I slipped and I bust--
Woman: Are you okay?
This is a public service announcement for those
who mow their own lawns and have wasp nests in their yard.
So I wanted to let you see what I looked like before.
So here we go.
Always remember to check your yard for wasp nests
that build their wasps in the ground.
They come out during the day, and when you're mowing the lawn,
they don't like it.
Ribeiro: That two-legged person should be careful walking
her four-legged animal near those 2x4s.
Ow!
Ohh! That one's on camera. Oh!
See? Can I see Mom?
[ Woman laughs ]
Ribeiro: Holding three chickens at one time?
That girl must be pooped.
Woman: I hope that big one doesn't poop on -- Oh, my!
[ Laughing ]
Ribeiro: That lady not only made a delicious potato salad,
she was functioning as a counterweight.
♪♪
He's got to take that glass door back to the store.
Well, check that one off the to-do list.
She's about to find out why
hanging drywall is a two-person job.
♪♪
Ohh!
Ribeiro: Someone really made a mess with the creamer.
I hope she finds out who it was.
♪♪
Right now we're going to show some videos
of dads doing the borrowed-hands challenge.
It's when one person does something using
another person's hands.
It's cute and normally I might say give them a hand,
but they already have two more than they can handle.
Hi, guys. So I'm here.
I'm just going to show you how to put some jelly on toast.
It's a great snack, you know, for the night
if you want a little something healthy.
Yeah. Hi. Hello. Thumbs up. Whoo-hoo!
Okay, now pour some milk on my cereal.
That's enough mi-- That's enough milk.
[ Laughing ] Go for some watermelon.
[ Laughing ]
There we go.
And I'm just gonna put it on the bread like that.
Perfect. Look at that.
Have some banana next.
[ Laughing ]
And we turn a little bit and we -- [ Laughs ]
Mm. Oh, my God. So good. Mm.
I kind of need something to wash it down though.
[ Laughs ]
Cottage cheese.
[ Laughing ]
Boy, I'm having trouble.
[ Laughing ]
Come on.
I didn't get enough sleep last night.
That's good. I think I'm pretty full now.
Maybe one more bite.
It's time for some close calls,
near-misses, and tragedies narrowly averted.
And don't be fooled.
While disaster may have been avoided,
the comedy hits a bull's-eye every time.
You know how some people are scared of sharks?
That's a good fear to have.
[ Screaming ]
When you turn 100, you can do whatever you want,
which includes recklessly waving around that giant pastry knife.
[ Cheering ]
Good morning, everyone. Bill Houghton here.
Today we are up north.
We've got an Alaskan moose behind us.
I'm not sure if they're friendly,
so if you hear of a Indiana resident getting stomped
by a moose, it could -- Uh-oh.
Um, she's curling her ears.
Oh!
No! Get back! Get back!
♪♪
Ribeiro: Some trees drop more than leaves.
He doesn't want to make any sudden movements
that could upset or irritate this tree any further.
Neither rain nor snow,
nor forgetting to put it in park
keeps a mail carrier from his appointed rounds.
[ Tires screech ]
Woman: Give him the new ball.
Ribeiro: Before his procedure,
he wouldn't have made it all the way over.
[ Woman gasps ]
[ Toy squeaks, girl giggling ]
Rule number one in learning to fly a drone
is never taking your eyes off the drone.
♪♪
The pizza place I order from now
lets you order raw dough in case you want to make your own pizza.
You can also buy their cheese and sauce and toppings,
which makes me wonder why not just buy one of their pizzas?
Anyway, here are some videos that go great with pizza
or just some raw dough if that's your thing.
I hope Bill's around in case she falls in.
♪♪
Bill!
Man: Coming!
Makes me so... [ Speaking indistinctly ]
Ribeiro: He's capturing his proposal on video.
And that little girl's capturing his phone.
My dad's phone. My dad's phone.
[ Woman laughs ]
Ribeiro: For some drivers, putting their car in park
and having it stay in park is no walk in the park.
♪♪
Woman: Little pig, little pig, let me in.
Girl: Not by the hair!
Woman: I'm gonna huff and I'm gonna puff.
[ Woman laughs ]
So, this is what I pull in my driveway to.
Look at him just munching away.
Ribeiro: He's both enjoying that snack
and silently judging you for throwing away
a perfectly good cookie.
Woman: Goofy squirrel. [ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: Using a bulldozer as a ladder? Bad idea.
Letting a toddler near the control lever?
Really bad idea.
♪♪
[ Indistinct singing ]
♪♪
This is a great dance number.
I just hope they finish strong.
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
Our show isn't usually described as thought-provoking,
but this next segment will provoke the thought
"What on Earth were those people thinking?"
Time to drink in exactly what I'm thinking.
It's "Here's a Thought."
Here's a thought. The nosier the neighbor,
the more likely they are to stick that big nose
where it doesn't belong.
News flash -- it's hard to make a rad skate park out
of a rad two-car garage.
A hotel tip -- Sometimes spending the extra 30 bucks
for the ocean view is worth it.
Woman: [ Laughing ] This is our hotel room.
We should just get creepy in the back.
[ Laughing ]
Word to the wise --
It might be time to see the dentist
if your breath is so bad that an animal known for stinking
wants you to keep your mouth shut.
[ Blowing raspberry ]
[ Woman laughs ]
[ Blowing raspberry ]
[ Woman laughs ]
Friendly reminder -- If your 3-year-old
starts using the expression
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch,"
you should probably be suspicious.
Woman: You have -- ew! -- ranch dressing.
Are you just drinking it?
[ Gasps ] Ew!
No, baby!
Ribeiro: This has been "Here's a Thought."
We're about to visit "The Winner's Circle," the place
where past "AFV" winners hang out.
Now, while the Winner's Circle isn't a real place
that you can find on a map,
the money these videos won is real cash
that you can find in a bank.
It's time to have a blast
with some big winners from "AFV's" past.
Woman: They've got two more bricks right here.
Come on. One on the floor. Shh.
Girl: Too short to reach.
Woman: Wait. Hold on.
I want to get a good picture of this egg.
Wait. Move that thing.
Ribeiro: Wow. Those bricks are balanced on eggs,
which are on top of that table.
That glass table.
This is gonna make a mess.
Woman: Go ahead, King. This is gonna make a mess.
Easy. Girl: Kitty!
Oh, no! Our table!
Man: Okay, what do you say?
I'll never touch Daddy's razor again.
Man: Now turn around.
Keep going.
Keep turning.
Turn all the way back around.
Say "I'm sorry." I'm sorry.
[ "Blue Danube Waltz" playing ]
♪♪
[ Laughter and applause ]
Ribeiro: Let's circle back next week for another "Winner's Circle."
♪♪
I recently bought one of those fancy Japanese toilets
that cleans itself and, you know, does everything for you.
It's amazing.
But then I accidentally dropped my tax returns into it.
And guess what. It found me thousands of dollars
in deductions that my accountant missed.
Great toilet.
In fact, it also chose these next videos
and wrote all the jokes.
Woman: What's that say, Wrennie?
It says "Grandmas go that way"?
It says? So I can't go this way?
[ Both laugh ]
Only grandmas who can walk can go this way.
Woman: Okay, grandmas go that way.
Ribeiro: Going to the airport is annoying enough
without bumping into the moving-walkway comedian.
No, seriously, guys, help me.
Ribeiro: This kitty can turn any door into a cat door.
Woman: This will be the first time I get to see
how she gets under that door.
O-M-G, you little stinker!
Ribeiro: He put his ladder in the middle of a pool slide.
Need I say more?
♪♪
Woman: What are you?
You're a werewolf?
-But I can turn into a bat. -You can turn into a bat?
Can you turn around for a second?
[ Laughs ] Ribeiro: Wait.
Did he say werewolf or underwear wolf?
[ Howling ]
Woman: [ Laughs ] Bennie, you got to take that off.
That's Mommy's underwear.
-Well, I was just using it. -You're just using it?
-Yeah. -What are you using it for?
I'm using it for werewolf.
♪♪
Ribeiro: I hereby christen thee the S.S. Bonehead.
Come help me.
If they can't handle the driveway,
they should probably stay off the lake.
♪♪
I'm thinking of a type of video.
Videos of magic and...presto! Here they are.
I bet you're wondering how I did that.
Was it magic, you ask?
No, I just read the script ahead of time.
Hey, Grandpa, I'm gonna show you some magic.
-Okay. -What color is this?
-Black. -No.
-It's red. -No.
Man: That's pretty good.
Three. Ribeiro: I think I read about this
in "How to Blow Your Kid's Mind" magazine.
[ Laughing ]
No way!
How's it work?
-Do it to me. -Pick a card. Any card.
Ribeiro: I've seen magicians wow their audience,
but I didn't know they could wow themselves.
Oh!
Your card rises from the deck.
That's right. That's it.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my gosh!
[ Laughter ]
No? There's nothing. Oh, I see something.
I definitely see something.
I see something.
Oh, my God! What is that?
[ People exclaiming ]
Ribeiro: I don't vitamin-see how he did that.
♪♪
Either that dog got a lot bigger or that ball got a lot smaller.
[ Woman laughs ]
Ladies and gentlemen...
Ribeiro: A good magician never reveals their secrets.
A not so good magician doesn't have any secrets.
Man: Okay, let's see how you do it.
[ Woman laughs ]
[ Laughter ] Woman: Bravo!
[ Applause ]
Woman: This is Jada with her magic whistle.
She can make it rain or make it rain harder.
[ Struggling to whistle ]
Ribeiro: Most magicians have assistants.
Her assistant is Mother Nature.
[ Rain pouring ]
Woman: She has her magic whistle.
She summoned the rain.
Do you hear the rain?
Here's the trick. Touch it. Make sure it's still there.
Man: It's real? Yep. That's real.
Man: Real doughnut. Okay, watch real close.
Ribeiro: Not to brag, but I've made a few doughnuts
disappear in my day.
Okay, 1...
2. 2.
3. 3.
Wow! [ Laughter ]
♪♪
This next montage is called "Virtual Insanity"
because it's all about virtual reality gone wrong.
And by the way, kudos to all the brainiacs
who thought it was a good idea to create an entirely new world
for people who are so klutzy they can't even handle this one.
♪♪
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
♪♪
Aaah!
♪♪
Aaah!
♪♪
Woman: Oh!
♪♪
Ah! Aah!
♪♪
Aaah!
[ Man laughs ]
♪♪
[ Screaming ]
Aaah!
♪♪
Man: Oh, my God.
♪♪
Upload your funny video to AFV.com.
Group: Hey, Alfonso!
All: Hey, Alfonso!
We want to see more snow videos!
[ All shouting ]
Okay, Jack, Eleanor, Kennedy, Wells, Taylor, and Madeline.
You want more snow videos?
Well, I'll provide the snow if you provide the hot cocoa.
♪♪
The gutters are not kidding him.
Are you kidding me?
There's got to be a better hill to go tubing on.
[ Woman laughing, screaming ]
Alright. You got it on? Let's go.
Ribeiro: Making a snow angel in his underwear.
What the devil was he thinking?
-Oh! -Yeah. You better keep --
I lost a Croc!
Oh!
[ Woman laughing ]
I went over the hill.
Ribeiro: This goes from man versus nature
to man versus man pretty quickly.
♪♪
I'll never complain about taking out the trash again.
♪♪
Mom goes from doing play-by-play to being part of the action.
Woman: Oh! [ Laughs ]
Oh!
♪♪
Get it.
[ Laughing ]
Ribeiro: I doubt the neighbors would complain you left the cans
out an extra day or two.
♪♪
It's time for "Versus."
Join us as "Dudes and dudettes getting spooked
out of their minds" take on
"unusual resting places for canine behinds."
[ Bell dings ]
Tonight on "Versus"...
The workers start off by making the warehouse a scare house.
[ Air horn blows ]
The dogs strike back with a Great Dane on the brain.
Insane.
And nothing ruins your shift
like a guy in a box on a forklift.
A dog on a dog's head sitting on a chair?
That's so much sitting, it's almost unfair.
Don't get sleepy or you'll see something creepy.
What's this?
We expected a dog on a head,
but got a squirrel on a dog's head instead.
What will the judges think?
Hey, you in aisle four, careful
you don't drop that stuff on the floor.
The dogs on heads have one last chance
to "sit" the record straight.
Is it enough?
[ Bell dings ]
And the winner is...
Warehouse scares.
Aah!
Join us next time when the working stiffs
getting scared stiff take on...
On "Versus."
We've reached the point where there's not much show left.
It's like when you're eating potato chips
and there's only a few chips left,
even though you can still eat two more entire bags.
So savor these last few videos
like they're your last few chips, alright?
But then brush your teeth 'cause potato chips tend to get
all stuck in between them bad boys, a'ight?
-Draw a little circle. -Mm-hmm.
[ Woman gasps, fake cries ]
Ribeiro: This guy mows his lawn every full moon.
♪♪
Woman: Hey, I said don't do it.
Ribeiro: This woman gets daily reminders
that dogs are descended from wolves.
[ Dog howls ] Woman: Beau.
[ Dog howls ] Beau.
[ Dog howling ]
[ Dogs howling ]
Ribeiro: Sometimes mansplaining isn't so bad.
Man: Is that giving you a hard time?
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Woman: Can I have a 20? Here.
Just -- Just -- Just one little 20.
[ Laughs ]
Ribeiro: I don't blame that cat. Woman: One bill.
Ribeiro: He's got nine lives.
He's got to make that money last.
Woman: I got it!
[ Laughing ]
♪♪
Ribeiro: This guy must be competing on "Extreme Foam Makeover."
Woman: Kristen, I'm not sure if you remember,
but you got this toy for the baby to play with.
And we just brought it out.
[ Laughing ]
And now he has a forehead hickey.
[ Laughing ]
[ Applause ]
Next week is our holiday episode,
and the only tradition we look forward to as much
as that one is the tradition of asking you for holiday videos.
That's right.
The holidays aren't just around the corner.
They're also tonight's "Assignment America."
We want to see your gift giving gone wrong
and your kids messing up a Christmas song.
Jess, tell them what they need to know
to help us build an amazing festive show.
The holidays come once a year,
but our love of holiday clips lasts all year long.
So send us your Christmas trees that couldn't fall faster
and your Hanukkah celebrations that end in disaster.
Your holiday hilarity could win you 20 or even 100 grand.
Just upload the video to AFV.com.
For full contest rules, log on to AFV.com.
Whether you're a human or an elf,
don't keep your holiday clips to yourself.
Well, the show's almost over, so finish your dinner
because we're handing out money and declaring a winner.
Let's meet our finalists.
First up, artistic integrity never goes out of fashion,
especially for this kid who draws with a passion.
It's "Coloring with Commitment"
sent in by Raemon Tollefson
from Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada.
I'm done.
Joining us are Raemon, Kay-ann, Torsten and Thea.
Now, Torsten, do you still draw with such intense concentration?
Yeah. I like to get stuff perfect,
so I just find it really stressful.
Really stressful? Okay.
Well, Raemon, you took this video about 8 or 9 years ago.
What made you finally send it in?
Yeah. You know what? We were just watching the show
in a hotel room one night,
and the kids were just laughing at everything,
and I just remembered this old video I had,
and I thought we should send this in
because it was pretty funny.
Alright. Right? You see, people?
Go through your videos.
You could be sitting on a winner.
Please send it in. Alright, good luck, y'all.
[ Applause ]
Alright. Next up, cleanliness is good,
if you know what I mean.
But is it possible for doors to be a little too clean?
It's "Once More into the Glass Door"
sent in by the Shuster Arington family
from Red Oak, Texas.
[ Applause ]
[ Dog barking ]
[ Bonk ]
The new glass door is taking some getting used to.
[ Laughter, dogs barking ]
Joining us are Stephanie, Jimmy, Cliff, Batman, and Ginger.
So, Stephanie, you guys are big dog lovers
and have fostered and adopted many dogs through the years.
Why do you think those four kept banging into the door that day?
Well, it's like when you put the stickers on windows
to keep birds from flying into them.
We usually have muddy paw prints and scratches on the door,
and when we replaced it, they weren't there anymore,
so they didn't even realize that the door was closed.
Alright, well, just out of habit.
Okay, well, listen, it's important to note
that no one was hurt.
Okay, but maybe their pride, right?
Maybe a little bit. Okay. Oh, yeah.
Yes. Yeah.
Good luck, y'all. Good luck.
Both: Thank you.
And finally, kids are honest. That's what they say.
But this kid was being a little too honest that day.
It's "Skinny Sketch Snafu" sent in by Samantha Richmond
from Van Lear, Kentucky.
[ Applause ]
[ Woman gasps, fake cries ]
Joining us are Samantha, Hope, and Wrenley.
Samantha, you asked your granddaughter
to draw you skinny.
Did her response surprise you?
Yeah. I mean, look at this.
[ Laughter ]
Okay, well, honesty isn't just the best policy.
If you win, it's the most lucrative too, right?
That's true. Yes. [ Laughter ]
Alright, well, good luck, y'all.
Thank you. Alright.
Alright. We're going to find out who takes home the cash
in just a minute.
But first let's take a look at some of the clips
that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable mention.
♪♪
Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes --
$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second and $4,000 for third.
Here we go. Our third-place, $4,000 winner is...
"Coloring with Commitment" sent in by Raemon Tollefson
from Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada.
Thank you.
And the winner of the $20,000
and tonight's funniest home video is...
"Skinny Sketch Snafu,"
sent in by Samantha Richmond from Van Lear, Kentucky.
We have Wrenley, Samantha, and Hope.
[ Applause ]
Well, Wrenley, look at that.
You just won a lot of money for your family
just by being honest in a video.
Now, if Grandma asks you to draw her again,
what are you going to say?
What would you say?
-What you going to say? -Anything!
Anything? Well, Hope, I hear you were the one
who urged your mom to send in the video.
Did you think it was going to end up a winner?
Um, no, we just done it as like a joke, kind of.
We was like, "Let's just send it in and see what happens."
And then here we are.
Pretty cool. Well, you just won 20 grand
and have a shot at 100 grand, right?
That's more than most artists make in a lifetime.
Yes. Congratulations, y'all. Well, that's our show.
If you want to see it again,
try to fly to an earlier time zone really fast
or stream it on Hulu.
Yeah, that works too. We'll see you next time.
And don't forget, if you upload a video
and it airs on the show, we'll send you an "AFV" T-shirt.
So good night, everybody.
And remember, send your video to me.
You might win 20 G's. Good night, y'all.
-- Captions by Verbit --
♪♪