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Ribeiro: Here's a taste
of tonight's "AFV."
2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:06,373
It's calorie-free,
but full of laughs.
3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,408
♪♪
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Aah!
5
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What are you doing?
6
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-[ Laughs ]
-Hey.
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Like that!
8
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[ Birds chirping ]
9
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,751
[ Clank! ]
10
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Surprise!
Aah!
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[ Whip cracking ]
12
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Oh!
[ Woman laughs ]
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Welcome to...
15
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,068
And now here he is,
the host of our show --
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Alfonso Ribeiro!
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Let's do it, y'all!
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Thank you, guys. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
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00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,416
Thank you. Thank you.
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Welcome to the show.
I hope everyone's doing great.
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00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:56,089
I know I am, because of all
the hard work and preparation
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00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:59,192
that we put into each show
is finally over.
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Now comes the easy part,
where I just stand here
25
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,933
and tell you about all the
funny videos coming down the
pike.
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Or -- Or is it "pipe"?
Like, is it "pike" or "pipe"?
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I -- Dang it.
[ Laughter ]
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I mean, if I can't do
something as simple as that,
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what hope do the people
in our clips have?
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Not much,
I'm happy to say.
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Not much.
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Just a relaxing day
on the porch.
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Oh, my gosh! Guys.
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I'm -- I'm out of here.
[ Laughs ]
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I'm out of here.
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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Girl:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Come on, dude.
Let's go.
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[ Chuckles ]
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Huh?
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Ow! Oh! Oh!
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[ Man speaks indistinctly ]
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Ribeiro:
Two things this lady hates.
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Whoa! Look at that thing!
Aah!
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Bugs
and watching where she's
going.
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Oh. Oh.
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Oh, oh.
[ Screaming ]
49
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[ Man speaks indistinctly ]
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Aah.
51
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You okay?
52
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[ Babbling ]
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Woman: Milo and Axel,
lay down and take a nap.
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[ Birds chirping ]
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♪♪
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Ribeiro: That was the fifth
umbrella he lost this month.
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Let me know
when you're ready.
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Man: Go.
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Ohh!
[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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Ribeiro: Cats.
They clean themselves,
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but they don't clean up
after themselves.
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[ Clatter ]
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Woman: Good morning.
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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[ Cheers and applause ]
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Sometimes you'll see a sign
at a construction site
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that says, "Pardon our dust."
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Well, let me tell you, the
dust has nothing to apologize
for.
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But the people actually
working on the site,
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yeah, they got
some explaining to do.
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[ Sighs ]
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This guy not only lowers
the bar --
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He lowers the ceiling.
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[ Sighs ]
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[ Woman screams, laughs ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Ooh-whee.
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He could just take it
off the hinges.
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But where's the fun in that?
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[ Woman laughs, gasps ]
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[ Glass shattering ]
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Woman: Oh. Oh, my gosh.
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[ Laughs ]
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Did you get that?
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[ Laughs ]
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♪♪
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You should really wait
for the deck to be finished
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before you start
lounging on it.
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♪♪
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Oh.
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Woman: I don't know wh--
How do I stop it?
98
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Does he not know
how gravity works?
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Okay.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Shoulda paid for
the professional installation.
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Oh!
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♪♪
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Ooh, ooh, ooh.
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Woman: [ Laughs ]
107
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-Ready?
-Yep.
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Yep. Go.
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Ribeiro: He's gonna run
through that drywall.
110
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He just forgot
what was on the other side.
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Go.
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Aah!
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[ Laughing ]
Oh, my God!
114
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[ Man laughs ]
115
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No. Are you okay?
116
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Yeah, I'm great.
117
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[ Laughs ]
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The wheel has kept people
moving for thousands of years.
119
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But as you can see, sometimes
people going from "A" to "B"
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deserve a grade
just below a "D."
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♪ Woke up feeling fresh,
so clean ♪
122
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♪ I'm-a show this world
who I be ♪
123
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Man: ♪ Who I be
124
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♪ Check's cleared,
I just got paid ♪
125
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♪ So no more riding on "E"
126
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♪ No
127
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♪ Turn the bass up,
drive with the windows down ♪
128
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,413
♪ And let the fresh air
hit my face ♪
129
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,914
♪ That's right
130
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♪ Count your blessings
when you're feeling like this
♪
131
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♪ Ain't nothin' gonna ruin
my day ♪
132
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,020
Aah!
♪ Thank goodness I'm good
133
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,956
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
134
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,724
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
135
00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,359
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
136
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,494
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
137
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,196
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
138
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,664
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
139
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,766
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
140
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,802
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
141
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,170
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
142
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,272
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
143
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,940
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
144
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,408
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
145
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,444
♪ Count your blessings
when you're feeling like this
♪
146
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,446
♪ So alive,
and we got another hit ♪
147
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,914
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ Yeah
148
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,949
♪ Count your blessings
when you're feeling like this
♪
149
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,985
♪ So alive,
and we got another hit ♪
150
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,753
♪ That's why I'm feeling
so good ♪
151
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,655
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
152
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,590
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
153
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,092
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
154
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,294
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
155
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,929
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
156
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,430
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
157
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,599
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
158
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,468
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
159
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,003
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
160
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,138
♪ Everything is
great, great, great ♪
161
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,973
♪ Everything
is great, great, great ♪
162
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,808
♪ Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
163
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[ Cheers and applause ]
164
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♪♪
165
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Do you have a funny video
worth $20,000?
166
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What are you waiting for?
167
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Upload it to AFV.com.
168
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♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
169
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♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
170
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♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
171
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[ Cheers and applause ]
172
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The odds of some things
are incredibly small,
173
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like winning the lottery
or going to a restaurant
174
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and having your food
arrive sooner
175
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than the people at the table
next to you,
176
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even though they arrived
15 minutes later
177
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and they have a party of 12
178
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and you're just there
with your family.
179
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[ Laughter ]
180
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[ Sighs ] I'm fine.
181
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[ Printer whirring ]
182
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♪♪
183
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It prints it, it faxes,
it scans.
184
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It even files.
185
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♪♪
186
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[ Woman laughs ]
187
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
188
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The only way Grandpa
can catch a ball
189
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is if he's completely
not paying attention.
190
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[ Laughter ]
191
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♪♪
192
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,218
Double the hoops,
double your chance of scoring.
193
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,920
♪♪
194
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[ Both laugh ]
195
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Ohh!
196
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♪♪
197
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Ribeiro: Check out the noobs
on these tubes.
198
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♪♪
199
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[ Laughter ]
200
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,171
I hope she majored
in statistics...
201
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[ Laughs ]
202
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,441
...'cause I want to know
what the odds of that are.
203
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[ Laughs ]
204
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♪♪
205
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Woman: [ Laughing ]
Magic.
206
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My baby's a witch.
207
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But they're not the best
for holding.
208
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They don't like to snuggle,
but you can still hold them,
209
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and they'll squa-- Oh!
210
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Woman: Did she just --
She just laid an egg.
211
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:52,665
[ Laughs ]
212
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,868
Also, she just laid an egg
in my lap.
213
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,369
And that's her egg color.
214
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Ribeiro: Impressive.
215
00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,305
Woman: Whoo!
216
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,041
She's batting and catching.
217
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:08,114
♪♪
218
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,918
If people who really love
good food are called
"foodies,"
219
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,553
wouldn't it make sense
for people
220
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:17,190
who really love good videos
to be called "video-ies"?
221
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,458
Hmm? Hmm?
222
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,594
Ponder that as you watch
these select artisan videos
223
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,397
carefully chosen
for gourmet video connoisseurs
224
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,733
such as yourselves. Hm-hm.
225
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,736
♪♪
226
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,138
Woman: Mm!
227
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,173
[ Laughs ]
228
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,075
Baby!
229
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,777
Okay,
we're going down.
230
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:41,614
♪♪
231
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:44,651
[ Screams ]
232
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,787
[ Screaming ]
233
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,559
Don't comfort her.
Mnh-mnh.
234
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:56,196
Just try to limit how much
she embarrasses you in public.
235
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:59,065
[ Screaming ]
236
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,467
[ Laughing ]
237
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:03,303
[ Screaming ]
238
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,637
♪♪
239
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:06,773
[ Screams ]
240
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,141
[ Kazoo playing ]
241
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,242
Woman: Oh.
242
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,177
If ripped jeans
are in fashion...
243
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,212
Oh.
244
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,481
...she's really fashionable.
245
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,816
[ Laughs ]
246
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,052
Milk mustaches
are for beginners.
247
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,654
The cool kids are into
Parmesan cheese 'staches.
248
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:24,324
Woman: [ Laughs ]
249
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,826
Beau. I love you.
250
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,828
-Aww.
-See them?
251
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,497
Ready? Oh, oh.
252
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:32,065
[ Man laughs ]
253
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:35,602
Ribeiro:
See if you can guess which
grandparent is Brian's
favorite.
254
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,370
-Aww.
-What are you doing?
255
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,505
-[ Laughs ]
-Hey.
256
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,973
Like that!
Like that.
257
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,908
Grandpa's the favorite.
258
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♪♪
259
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,116
Woman:
You're doing amazing.
260
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:51,985
Ribeiro:
He always wanted to be Batman.
261
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,987
Aah!
262
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,155
[ Laughs ]
263
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,426
He saw "Raiders of the Lost
Ark" 10 times.
264
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,328
I bet he'll be good at this.
265
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,329
[ Whip cracking ]
266
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,964
Oh!
[ Woman laughs ]
267
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,366
Son of a...
268
00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,337
Put your head back.
Woman: Keep it back.
269
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,206
Keep it back.
You got to concentrate
for a few minutes.
270
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,474
Concentrate.
271
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,876
[ Coin thuds ]
I did it.
272
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:18,344
Try it again.
Try it again.
273
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,346
Ribeiro: He just put a funnel
in your underpants.
274
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:23,349
Yeah, I'm sure you can
totally trust him.
275
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,350
Oh!
276
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,319
[ Laughter ]
277
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,490
Play "Home" -- Wait.
278
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,258
"Funniest Home Videos."
279
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,359
[ Remote clatters ]
280
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,795
Man:
Did it perfect, though.
281
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,164
[ Shrieking ]
282
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,800
[ Applause ]
283
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,471
Children: Hey, Alfonso!
284
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,543
Hey, Alfonso. I want to
see more food-sneaking videos.
285
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,682
[ Laughter ]
286
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:59,152
Okay, Sabine, you want to see
some food-sneaking videos?
287
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,688
Well, hope these satisfy
your appetite.
288
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,123
[ Laughter ]
289
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,960
Here's how you make sure
he won't want his food back.
290
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:07,994
[ Sneezes ]
291
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,729
Woman: Oh, no.
292
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,299
[ Gulls crying ]
293
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,803
This day at the beach
is no day at the beach.
294
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:17,804
[ Gasps ]
295
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,005
[ Gulls crying ]
296
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,744
This prairie dog has a nut.
297
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,146
This prairie dog
has a jealous streak.
298
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,481
[ Prairie dogs squeaking ]
299
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,319
Woman: Bear.
300
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,688
You come back here, Bear.
301
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,190
Drop it.
302
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,891
Woman: [ Laughing ]
303
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,961
This is what happens when
you leave your soup
unattended.
304
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,997
I guess I won't be eating
that
vegetable soup.
305
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,665
[ Laughs ]
306
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,735
♪♪
307
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:49,836
[ Babbles ]
308
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,604
Woman: What are you doing?
309
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,874
♪♪
310
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:58,044
[ Laughs ]
311
00:12:58,144 --> 00:13:00,847
♪♪
312
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,383
It's in your mouth.
I can see it.
313
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,986
♪♪
314
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,621
This is for seagulls
who are tired
315
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,089
of getting sand in their food.
316
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:14,327
♪♪
317
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:17,730
[ Indistinct conversations ]
318
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,666
[ Woman speaks indistinctly ]
319
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:26,639
♪♪
320
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:33,680
♪♪
321
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,049
I mean, come on.
He's got a burglar mask.
322
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,317
What were you expecting?
323
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:45,658
♪♪
324
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:49,295
♪♪
325
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,000
[ Cheers and applause ]
326
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,803
I hate when something bad
happens and they say,
327
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,072
"I was in the wrong place
at the wrong time."
328
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,540
I mean, they should just say
329
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,974
that they were
in the wrong place.
330
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,310
I mean, the "wrong time" part
is redundant.
331
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,946
However, it is possible
to be in the wrong place
332
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:08,481
at the perfect time.
Yeah.
333
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,217
I mean, how do you think we've
been on the air for 33 years?
334
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,919
Okay?
[ Cheers and applause ]
335
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,255
He found a frog,
but he lost his balance.
336
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,624
Man: You're all right.
You're all right.
337
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,059
You're all right.
You're all right.
338
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,627
You're all right.
You're all right.
339
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:22,895
Woman:
Don't you be frightened.
340
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:26,265
You're all right.
You're all right.
341
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,101
[ Dog growling ]
342
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:32,138
[ Growling continues ]
343
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:37,443
♪♪
344
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,313
[ Dog snarling ]
345
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:43,182
The only way he's letting
go of that cheddar
346
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,051
is if you give
him some cheese.
347
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,686
Woman: Want some cheese?
348
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:53,226
I'm going to drop this water
-- basketball and water bottle
349
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,828
and try to catch
the water bottle.
350
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,599
[ Woman laughs ]
351
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,234
Everybody in!
[ Women screaming ]
352
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,635
Eventually.
353
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,470
Man: Oh, my God.
[ Laughs ]
354
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:09,776
Woman: Oh, I see.
[ Laughs ]
355
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,378
Man: He's trying,
but he's in the traffic...
356
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,847
I thought the saying
was "when pigs fly,"
357
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,616
not "when pigs
ride dirt bikes."
358
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,351
Oh, my...
359
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,419
Oh!
360
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,621
Oh! Pig down! Pig down!
361
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,222
[ Laughs ]
362
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,925
♪♪
363
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:28,394
...my greatest...
364
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:29,629
Woman:
Why are you wearing that?
365
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,297
Because...
366
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:40,106
♪♪
367
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:42,909
Sometimes we look back
at things we used to do
368
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,811
and wonder,
"What were we thinking?"
369
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:47,447
However, the Ice Bucket
Challenge was one fad
370
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,982
that had a purpose --
to raise money for ALS,
371
00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:53,152
and the money raised actually
led to significant
breakthroughs
372
00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:54,787
in the fight
against the disease.
373
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,290
So here are some people
who raised money
374
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,892
and lowered their temperature.
375
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,694
Get ready to roll back
the calendar.
376
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,130
It's "Fads of Yesteryear."
377
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,165
The Ice Bucket Challenge
helped find a cure
378
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,334
and helped people
find out water is heavy.
379
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:11,604
♪♪
380
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:12,605
No, wait!
381
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,606
[ Laughs ]
382
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,607
I'm starting over.
383
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,842
Aah!
384
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,244
[ Laughs ]
385
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,514
It's the Ice Bucket Challenge,
386
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,616
not the
Ice Garbage Can Challenge.
387
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,650
Back a little bit.
388
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,085
Oh!
Oh!
389
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:34,961
♪♪
390
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,863
[ Laughter ]
391
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:41,801
♪♪
392
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:42,768
Aah! Aah!
393
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,337
[ Laughs ]
394
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:51,077
Girl: 1, 2, 3. Do it!
395
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,411
[ Audience "awws" ]
396
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,347
You want me to do it?
397
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,549
[ Crying ]
I changed my mind!
398
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,050
Just do it, Avery.
399
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,319
[ Crying ] Noooo!
400
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:01,621
Why not?
401
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,422
[ Crying ]
402
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,757
Why don't you
want to do it?
403
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,827
I changed my mind.
404
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:09,595
It won't hurt.
It's fun.
405
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:12,198
I don't want my hair
to get wet.
406
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,800
It won't get wet.
I'll do it tomorrow.
407
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,736
I'll redo it tomorrow.
408
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,337
♪♪
409
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,040
[ Crying ]
410
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,477
♪♪
411
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,078
Good luck, everybody.
412
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,080
Woman:
You have 24 hours.
413
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,415
[ Girls laugh ]
414
00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,817
Ohhhh!
415
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,219
Ohhhhhh!
416
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:37,189
Oh, wow. That's cold!
417
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:42,862
♪♪
418
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,564
Security cameras were designed
419
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,532
to catch people
committing crimes.
420
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,068
It turns out they're as useful
at catching people doing
421
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:50,870
really embarrassing things,
422
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,439
which is technically a crime
against coordination.
423
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:54,507
[ Chuckles ]
424
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,009
[ Birds chirping ]
425
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,078
She's putting together
a hammock.
426
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:02,114
I don't think this part
was in the instructions.
427
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:03,649
[ Clang! ]
428
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:08,054
♪♪
429
00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,122
This is a two-person job.
430
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:11,757
Just not these two people.
431
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:15,261
♪♪
432
00:18:15,361 --> 00:18:16,696
Man: Hit the ball.
433
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:20,800
We like it when tetherball
becomes a full-contact sport.
434
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,403
Ooh! [ Laughs ]
435
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,205
Did it hit you?
It touched me.
436
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,110
He gets to relax...
437
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,312
for three whole seconds.
438
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:38,250
♪♪
439
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,986
Boogie time.
Love you.
440
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,854
[ Both laugh ]
441
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,357
[ Thud ]
I see how it is.
442
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,925
That's clean.
443
00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,394
[ Laughter ]
444
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:54,000
♪♪
445
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,267
[ Farts ]
446
00:18:55,368 --> 00:19:02,775
♪♪
447
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,110
Ribeiro: Hold on.
448
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,712
[ Laughs ]
She's not done yet.
449
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:11,183
♪♪
450
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:12,885
[ Farts ]
451
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,820
[ Woman laughs ]
452
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:21,861
♪♪
453
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,430
Sometimes television
is thought-provoking.
454
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:26,699
It makes you question your
place in the universe
455
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,168
and ponder the meaning
of human existence.
456
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,837
Sometimes television
is a bunch of cute animals
457
00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:34,106
wearing people clothes
set to silly music.
458
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:37,076
Yeah.
Both have their place.
459
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,477
We salute...
460
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:47,353
♪♪
461
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:48,721
[ Laughter ]
462
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:57,997
♪♪
463
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:07,273
♪♪
464
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:16,549
♪♪
465
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,451
Woman: Play in the snow.
[ Laughs ]
466
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:27,293
♪♪
467
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:31,464
♪♪
468
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,135
[ Cheers and applause ]
469
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,536
Before smartphones,
470
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:39,138
if your kid
said something funny,
471
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,240
you'd have to try
and remember what they said
472
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:42,641
and then write it down.
473
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,878
Inevitably, arguments would
ensue over what exactly was
said
474
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,213
and when they said it.
475
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,949
Nowadays, sure, there are
still plenty of arguments,
476
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,684
but when it comes
to what little Petey's
477
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,219
first words actually were,
478
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,689
all you have to say is,
"Let's go to the tape."
479
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,526
Woman: Grandma came from
her mommy's belly.
480
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:04,797
[ Laughs ] She --
481
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:05,898
She's like this big.
482
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,333
Yes, Grandma grew up,
483
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,735
but she still started
as a baby like you did.
484
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,876
She was not
a fully big grown-up.
485
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:25,851
There is evidence
of when she was tiny.
486
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,120
She's got pictures of
when she was a baby.
487
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:32,992
Yes, she does.
No, she don't.
488
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,226
Woman #2: I-I was a baby,
489
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,629
and I've got pictures of me
when I was a baby.
490
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,699
[ Laughs ]
Seriously!
491
00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:44,203
Man: Sissy, are you
freakin' cute?
492
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,437
Are you --
493
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,539
Are you freakin' cute?
494
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,174
Woman:
Say, "I'm adorable."
495
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,844
Okay. [ Laughs ]
496
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:55,414
[ Babbling ]
497
00:22:09,428 --> 00:22:10,830
Woman: [ Laughs ]
[ Squeals ]
498
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,265
When'd you get so big,
sister girl?
499
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:17,002
Today? [ Laughs ]
500
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,104
May can I have a corn dog,
please?
501
00:22:19,205 --> 00:22:23,876
Woman: No.
"May I have a corn dog,
please?" May...
502
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:25,544
May can I have a corn dog,
please?
503
00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:26,946
Okay. No "can."
504
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,715
"May I have
a corn dog, please?"
505
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:33,219
Okay. May can I
have a corn dog, please?
506
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,988
Okay.
So take away the "can."
507
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,790
"May..."
May...
508
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,391
"...I..."
...I...
509
00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:40,392
"...have..."
...have...
510
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:41,927
a corn dog, please?
511
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,963
Okay, say it
all together now.
512
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,898
May...
513
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,299
I...
514
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:48,767
have a corn dog, please?
515
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,203
Okay, so what are you gonna
say when you go to the window?
516
00:22:51,303 --> 00:22:53,906
May can I have a corn dog,
please?
517
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:56,375
That's your eyes.
518
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:58,377
Eyes.
519
00:22:58,477 --> 00:22:59,378
Ears.
520
00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:00,379
Ears.
521
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:01,313
Mouth.
522
00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:02,615
Mouth.
523
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,383
Nose.
Nose.
524
00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:05,818
Hair.
525
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:08,254
Hair.
526
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:09,288
Boobies.
527
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,357
Boobies. [ Laughs ]
528
00:23:11,457 --> 00:23:12,625
[ Applause ]
529
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:20,432
Ribeiro: And now an "AFV"
Public Squirrel Announcement.
530
00:23:20,532 --> 00:23:21,901
If...
531
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:26,038
If you ever meet a squirrel
and if you ever made it mad,
532
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:29,008
it might get so mad,
and it might do this.
533
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,509
It hurted my mother.
534
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:32,378
And it was so rude.
535
00:23:32,478 --> 00:23:33,946
If you ever meet a squirrel,
536
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:35,881
and -- and it got angry,
537
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:39,385
make sure to make it happy,
not angry.
538
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:42,054
Like, my mother
tried to fight it,
539
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:44,423
but the squirrel win
540
00:23:44,523 --> 00:23:47,459
and made her
fall off the stairs.
541
00:23:47,559 --> 00:23:50,496
So make sure
this doesn't happen to you.
542
00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:52,564
Report.
543
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:56,235
Ribeiro: This has been an
"AFV" Public Squirrel
Announcement.
544
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:59,004
We hope you learned
a thing or two.
545
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,639
[ Cheers and applause ]
546
00:24:00,739 --> 00:24:02,875
Strong couples stick together.
547
00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:06,211
They also stick to mustard,
ketchup, and chocolate syrup
548
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,680
when their partner pushes
their face
549
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:10,783
onto a pillow covered in flour
after they lose a round
550
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:13,752
of the "Rock, Paper, Scissors
Challenge."
551
00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:14,753
Go.
552
00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:16,221
Woman: Reggie, come here.
553
00:24:16,322 --> 00:24:19,158
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
554
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:21,260
[ Laughter ]
555
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,563
-Okay, go -- go for it.
-Go! Go!
556
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:28,400
-Oh!
-Oh!
557
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,469
Child:
Daddy's all flour-y.
558
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:32,104
Oh! Aah!
559
00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:34,707
[ Laughter ]
Woman #2: Oh!
560
00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:38,744
Thanks.
Whoa.
561
00:24:38,844 --> 00:24:40,479
Ready?
Uh-huh.
562
00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:43,916
Oh!
Yes!
563
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:46,719
-Ohh!
-Ohh!
564
00:24:48,454 --> 00:24:49,355
[ Gags ]
565
00:24:49,455 --> 00:24:51,090
-Ohh!
-Oh!
566
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:52,191
Girl: Too much.
I'm gagging.
567
00:24:52,291 --> 00:24:54,226
[ Laughter ]
No.
568
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:55,461
Man: Come on.
569
00:24:56,528 --> 00:24:59,965
-Oh!
-Oh!
570
00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:01,800
Woman: Ohh!
571
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,103
Go.
No.
572
00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:05,304
Yes.
573
00:25:09,408 --> 00:25:11,243
[ Laughter, group cheering ]
574
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:15,848
♪♪
575
00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:17,082
-You guys ready?
-No!
576
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,418
[ Group cheering ]
577
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:22,488
♪♪
578
00:25:22,588 --> 00:25:25,991
It's time to put an end
to my self-analysis paralysis
579
00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:30,195
and try to ascertain
if all is right with my brain.
580
00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:33,732
Maybe good decisions
have gone out of style or...
581
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,803
Maybe I'm nuts...
582
00:25:37,903 --> 00:25:40,105
but when it comes
to bros celebrating,
583
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,808
I think the high five
is still the best option.
584
00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:44,977
♪♪
585
00:25:48,781 --> 00:25:50,949
Man: Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[ Shouts indistinctly ]
586
00:25:53,152 --> 00:25:55,654
Ohh! Oh!
587
00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:59,925
Call me crazy, but I think
the only thing the mail lady
588
00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:03,429
should deliver
to your front door is the
mail.
589
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:09,068
[ Laughter, audience "ohhs" ]
590
00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:15,441
[ Lid opens, closes ]
591
00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:21,547
[ Laughter ]
592
00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:25,150
[ Crash ]
593
00:26:28,687 --> 00:26:29,988
Color me bonkers,
594
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:34,093
but not everything is
a good umbrella substitute.
595
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:40,332
Man:
That's a funny-looking ghost.
596
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,801
[ Clears throat ]
597
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,506
[ Laughs ]
598
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:50,709
I might be alone on this,
599
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:53,779
but when I run around
wearing virtual reality
goggles,
600
00:26:53,879 --> 00:26:57,850
I don't do it near appliances
with glass doors.
601
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:58,851
Aaaah!
602
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:00,219
[ Thud ]
Ooh!
603
00:27:02,321 --> 00:27:04,022
Woman: What was that?
[ Laughs ]
604
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:05,824
What was that?
605
00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:08,827
Oh...my...God!
606
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,797
Ribeiro: This has been...
607
00:27:11,897 --> 00:27:14,366
[ Cheers and applause ]
608
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,536
Halloween is over, but we have
a few leftover scares,
609
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,972
which is just as cool
as having some leftover candy.
610
00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:24,343
Yeah. Actually, no, no.
Nothing is as cool as leftover
candy.
611
00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:25,744
My kids'll tell ya.
612
00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,880
[ Camille Saint-Saens'
"Danse Macabre" plays ]
613
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,381
[ Screams ]
614
00:27:30,215 --> 00:27:31,884
Aaaaahhh!
615
00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:33,051
Aah! Aah!
616
00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:35,354
Boo!
Aah!
617
00:27:35,454 --> 00:27:36,622
[ Laughs ]
618
00:27:36,722 --> 00:27:39,858
♪♪
619
00:27:39,958 --> 00:27:40,859
[ Dog barks ]
620
00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:42,394
♪♪
621
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,496
-Aah!
-Aah!
622
00:27:44,596 --> 00:27:46,131
♪♪
623
00:27:46,231 --> 00:27:48,100
Aah!
Aah! [ Shouts indistinctly ]
624
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,968
♪♪
625
00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:51,670
Aah!
626
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:53,338
♪♪
627
00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:55,073
[ Evil laughter ]
628
00:27:55,174 --> 00:27:56,775
♪♪
629
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,710
Boo! [ Laughs ]
Aah!
630
00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:02,281
Surprise!
Aah!
631
00:28:02,381 --> 00:28:04,283
♪♪
632
00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:05,784
[ Man snarls ]
Aaaahhh!
633
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:06,985
♪♪
634
00:28:07,085 --> 00:28:09,154
[ Woman growls ]
Aaahh!
635
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,324
[ Screams ]
636
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,326
[ Vacuum whirring ]
637
00:28:14,426 --> 00:28:16,762
Man: Aah!
Aaah!
638
00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,198
Aaah!
Aaaahh!
639
00:28:19,298 --> 00:28:20,365
Child: Mom!
640
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,769
-Whoa!
-Aaah!
641
00:28:25,604 --> 00:28:27,306
[ Screams ]
642
00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:30,842
♪♪
643
00:28:30,943 --> 00:28:32,144
Got a funny video?
644
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:34,746
Upload it to AFV.com.
645
00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:36,715
♪♪
646
00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:42,921
♪♪
647
00:28:43,021 --> 00:28:45,157
Did you ever watch "Jeopardy!"
and think,
648
00:28:45,257 --> 00:28:47,693
"Man, these eggheads are
making me feel dumb"?
649
00:28:47,793 --> 00:28:50,229
Well, the opposite of eggheads
are boneheads,
650
00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:54,199
and they're here just in time
to make you feel smart.
651
00:28:54,299 --> 00:28:56,902
Hey, this was my Christmas
present two years ago.
652
00:28:57,002 --> 00:28:59,037
Y'all want to see
the improvement in on me?
653
00:28:59,137 --> 00:29:00,706
Well, watch out, Memaw.
Here she go.
654
00:29:00,806 --> 00:29:01,773
[ Grunting ]
655
00:29:01,873 --> 00:29:04,476
Boy: Oh, yeah,
this is not good.
656
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,144
Rear naked choke!
657
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,748
Ribeiro: Wow. If this is her
after all that improvement,
658
00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:12,818
I can only imagine
how bad she used to be.
659
00:29:12,918 --> 00:29:14,086
Woman: Ooh!
[ Thud ]
660
00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:16,321
Oh, my God!
Oh!
661
00:29:17,356 --> 00:29:19,558
I'm gonna jump on my bed
because I'm bored.
662
00:29:19,658 --> 00:29:21,893
Ribeiro: You know, there are
worse fates than being bored.
663
00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:24,296
Young woman: Ooh.
[ Glass shatters ]
664
00:29:24,396 --> 00:29:25,697
Woman: What was that?!
665
00:29:25,797 --> 00:29:27,566
♪♪
666
00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,601
[ Grunting ]
667
00:29:32,237 --> 00:29:34,740
Ribeiro:
Part dolly, part catapult.
668
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,175
Ooh! Whoo-ooh!
669
00:29:38,844 --> 00:29:40,545
[ Indistinct conversations ]
670
00:29:43,048 --> 00:29:45,484
[ Whimpers ]
I'm scared.
671
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,252
Just
do it!
672
00:29:47,352 --> 00:29:50,255
I have no --
I have no upper body stre--
673
00:29:50,355 --> 00:29:51,623
Go!
674
00:29:51,723 --> 00:29:52,824
[ Screams ]
675
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:55,093
[ Boy laughs ]
676
00:29:56,361 --> 00:29:58,897
Woman: I'm not sure how this
is supposed to work.
677
00:30:01,266 --> 00:30:02,734
[ Laughs ]
678
00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:09,408
♪♪
679
00:30:09,508 --> 00:30:11,576
[ Laughs ]
680
00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:13,312
Ribeiro: I don't know who
designed that trailer
681
00:30:13,412 --> 00:30:16,682
so it blocks the car doors
when you get the car on it,
682
00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:18,150
but I'm glad they did.
683
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,352
Woman #2:
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
684
00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:22,287
Woman #1: [ Laughs ]
685
00:30:24,990 --> 00:30:26,591
[ Horn honks ]
686
00:30:26,692 --> 00:30:28,493
[ Laughing ]
687
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:34,700
♪♪
688
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,768
[ Laughing ]
689
00:30:36,868 --> 00:30:37,936
Oh, my gosh.
690
00:30:38,036 --> 00:30:39,938
Girl: That one doesn't have
a handle on that one.
691
00:30:40,038 --> 00:30:41,340
There's no handle.
692
00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:44,843
Ribeiro: Yep, that's manure.
693
00:30:44,943 --> 00:30:46,845
I got this.
694
00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:48,680
Ooh! Ugh!
695
00:30:48,780 --> 00:30:49,881
Ohh!
696
00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,484
♪♪
697
00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:56,221
Get ready to boop some snoots.
698
00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,790
We're going to the Dog Park.
699
00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:00,659
[ Dog barking ]
700
00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:04,029
Woman: I went outside to get
my spatula
701
00:31:04,129 --> 00:31:08,433
that I used to make burgers
the other day,
702
00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:09,868
and this is how I found it.
703
00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:13,238
And I can't seem to figure out
who might have done this.
704
00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:15,941
Olive, come here.
705
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,676
What's this?
706
00:31:20,579 --> 00:31:21,847
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
707
00:31:21,947 --> 00:31:24,716
Get your ball.
Go!
708
00:31:24,816 --> 00:31:26,451
Go get your ball.
709
00:31:27,252 --> 00:31:28,987
[ Laughs ]
710
00:31:29,087 --> 00:31:32,858
♪♪
711
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:35,293
Woman: Cocoa, Cocoa.
712
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:37,763
It's time for Noah to --
[ Cocoa barks ]
713
00:31:37,863 --> 00:31:39,331
It's time.
[ Cocoa whines ]
714
00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:40,799
No. He needs to --
[ Cocoa barks ]
715
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:42,667
Cocoa.
[ Cocoa whines ]
716
00:31:42,768 --> 00:31:45,570
He needs to go to school.
717
00:31:45,670 --> 00:31:46,738
Cocoa.
718
00:31:46,838 --> 00:31:48,440
[ Cocoa whimpers ]
719
00:31:51,810 --> 00:31:53,478
Honey, Noah has --
[ Cocoa whines ]
720
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:56,915
Noah has to go to school.
721
00:31:57,015 --> 00:31:58,517
It's time to get ready.
722
00:31:58,617 --> 00:32:00,018
[ Cocoa barks, growls ]
723
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,321
Woman: [ Laughs ]
724
00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:04,656
I'm videoing it.
725
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,825
Ribeiro: Of course he's having
trouble with that box.
726
00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,226
He's not a boxer.
727
00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:12,063
Woman: He's running into the
walls because he can't see.
728
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:14,833
Exactly.
He knocked my lamp down.
729
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:20,105
♪♪
730
00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:22,174
Ribeiro:
He's good at the doggy paddle,
731
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:24,176
but not the doggy paddleboard.
732
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:26,111
[ Woman laughs ]
733
00:32:26,211 --> 00:32:28,847
♪♪
734
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,749
[ Dog barks ]
735
00:32:30,849 --> 00:32:33,351
Dogs and cats
aren't always enemies.
736
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:35,220
Sometimes
they're the perfect team.
737
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:40,091
♪♪
738
00:32:40,192 --> 00:32:44,596
Man: Well, it looks like my
dog played "Uno" today.
739
00:32:44,696 --> 00:32:49,401
He played "Candy Land."
740
00:32:49,501 --> 00:32:51,403
Huh.
741
00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:52,938
I wonder where he is.
742
00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:54,873
Ooh. [ Laughs ]
743
00:32:56,107 --> 00:32:57,909
What do you think, Gizmo?
744
00:32:58,009 --> 00:33:00,979
Did you play
"Candy Land" today?
745
00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:02,380
Did you win?
746
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:03,615
No?
747
00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,551
♪♪
748
00:33:08,553 --> 00:33:10,422
Animals are a lot like people.
749
00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:13,191
They think, they feel,
and they enjoy a nice snack
750
00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:16,094
1 or 2 hours before dinner.
Nothing too heavy. Yep.
751
00:33:16,194 --> 00:33:19,331
But unlike us, they don't know
when they look silly on video.
752
00:33:19,431 --> 00:33:21,833
And if that video happens
to win 20 grand,
753
00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:24,769
they won't try to get their
paws on any of that sweet
cash.
754
00:33:24,870 --> 00:33:28,106
Advantage -- humans!
755
00:33:28,206 --> 00:33:32,010
♪♪
756
00:33:32,110 --> 00:33:33,979
Oh, don't chase me again.
757
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:35,046
Oh!
758
00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:37,249
Ribeiro:
Ooh, she's a brave one.
759
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,918
What is that chicken --
4 whole pounds?
760
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,553
[ Chicken clucking ]
761
00:33:41,653 --> 00:33:44,489
She just invented
a new chicken dance.
762
00:33:44,589 --> 00:33:45,924
Hmm.
She's gonna pick up
763
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,659
some chicken nuggets
at the drive-through
764
00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:50,161
to taste some sweet revenge.
765
00:33:51,296 --> 00:33:53,665
Man: George and Jack,
the great lizard hunters.
766
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:55,133
George,
how did you catch this one?
767
00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:57,002
With my bare hands.
Wow.
768
00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:58,670
I got to show Mom.
769
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:01,439
Aaah! It bites!
770
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:03,942
[ Pig snorting ]
771
00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,612
Ribeiro:
It's a pig in a pool,
772
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:10,348
but not for long.
773
00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:12,317
[ Man laughs ]
774
00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:15,987
♪♪
775
00:34:16,087 --> 00:34:20,258
[ Laughter ]
776
00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:24,863
Hmm. I bet they don't see a
lot of shadow puppets in
Antarctica.
777
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,267
Woman: Oh, my God.
778
00:34:29,367 --> 00:34:30,635
We need to leave.
779
00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:36,942
Is that a mama bear and her
cub eating your doughnuts?
780
00:34:37,042 --> 00:34:39,044
So, seriously,
what do we need to do?
781
00:34:39,144 --> 00:34:40,312
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
782
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:41,880
Well,
bears are cute and cuddly.
783
00:34:41,980 --> 00:34:43,448
I'm sure you'll be fine.
784
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:44,749
No, we can't...
785
00:34:44,849 --> 00:34:46,084
Just kiddin'.
786
00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:48,186
You're just gonna have
to move...
787
00:34:48,286 --> 00:34:50,055
and get more doughnuts.
788
00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:53,592
[ Pounding ]
789
00:34:53,692 --> 00:34:56,595
Not to be "that guy,"
but if I came home to this,
790
00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:58,630
I'd just leave
and never come back.
791
00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:00,665
[ Pounding continues ]
792
00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:10,008
♪♪
793
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,277
Does your dog
have a favorite word?
794
00:35:12,377 --> 00:35:14,045
Yes.
Does your pup perk up
795
00:35:14,145 --> 00:35:17,115
when he hears words like
"treat," "walk," or
"squirrel"?
796
00:35:17,215 --> 00:35:19,884
Well, there's a great new way
to get a funny reaction
797
00:35:19,985 --> 00:35:21,319
from your canine cutie.
798
00:35:21,419 --> 00:35:23,154
And it's tonight's
"Assignment America."
799
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:25,957
We call it "A Dog's
Favorite Words Challenge."
800
00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:29,594
Here's Sheena and Sunit
to show you how it's done.
801
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:31,529
Hi. I'm Sheena.
And I'm Sunit.
802
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:33,465
And this is Sapphie.
To do this challenge,
803
00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:35,967
say your dog's favorite words,
record their reaction,
804
00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:38,570
and upload it to AFV.com.
Like this.
805
00:35:42,173 --> 00:35:45,210
Yeah,
we can get peanut butter.
806
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,479
Are you sure you don't
want to go for a walk?
807
00:35:49,914 --> 00:35:52,050
Just grab your phone
and tell a fun story
808
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,285
that's likely to grab
your pooch's attention.
809
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:55,720
Yeah,
we can get peanut butter.
810
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,756
A video
of your funny Fido phone call
811
00:35:57,856 --> 00:35:59,858
could win you $20,000
or even $100,000.
812
00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:01,993
Just upload the video
to AFV.com.
813
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:04,295
For full contest rules,
log on to AFV.com.
814
00:36:04,396 --> 00:36:05,997
With "A Dog's Favorite Word
Challenge,"
815
00:36:06,097 --> 00:36:07,298
there's no one
on the other end,
816
00:36:07,399 --> 00:36:10,035
but that doesn't matter
to man's best friend.
817
00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,739
[ Cheers and applause ]
818
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:17,776
We've seen lots of videos,
but it's time to be frank.
819
00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:20,245
Some of them are about
to put money in the bank.
820
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:22,013
So let's meet our finalists.
821
00:36:22,113 --> 00:36:25,383
First up, she's excited as
heck and can't seem to hide
it,
822
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:27,886
but her boyfriend
just wants her to be quiet.
823
00:36:27,986 --> 00:36:29,888
It's "V. R. We
Having Fun Yet?"
824
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:33,725
sent in by Connor Roberts
from Mesa, Arizona.
825
00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:38,430
[ Screams ]
826
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:40,498
[ Screaming ]
827
00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:46,004
Don't comfort her.
Mnh-mnh.
828
00:36:46,104 --> 00:36:50,341
Just try to limit how much
she embarrasses you in public.
829
00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:54,212
Joining us are Connor, Mike,
Tamara, and Jade.
830
00:36:54,312 --> 00:36:56,848
Now, Tamara,
when Connor and Mike asked you
831
00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:59,784
if you wanted to try
the V. R. roller coaster,
832
00:36:59,884 --> 00:37:01,486
what did you say?
833
00:37:01,586 --> 00:37:04,723
Well, first off, you can kind
of tell I'm expressive
834
00:37:04,823 --> 00:37:06,357
and a little bit energetic.
No!
835
00:37:06,458 --> 00:37:08,226
But I said,
"I'm afraid of heights,
836
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,695
and I'm afraid
of roller coasters."
837
00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:12,464
But then we were in
a little arcade,
838
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,399
and this bench
was bolted to the floor.
839
00:37:14,499 --> 00:37:17,168
So what could be so bad,
right?
840
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:19,170
Well, I'll tell you,
it was pretty good for us.
841
00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:21,639
You know what I mean?
Good luck, guys.
842
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:23,575
-Thanks.
-Thank you.
843
00:37:23,675 --> 00:37:26,010
Next up, a little girl
is in a whirl
844
00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:29,180
'cause her mom was frightened
by an unhappy squirrel.
845
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,882
It's "Riled Up About Rodents,"
846
00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,952
sent in
by Josefina Ceja-Arteaga
847
00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:36,588
from Elmhurst, Illinois.
848
00:37:36,688 --> 00:37:38,089
If you ever meet a squirrel,
849
00:37:38,189 --> 00:37:39,691
and -- and it got angry,
850
00:37:39,791 --> 00:37:43,394
make sure to make it happy,
not angry.
851
00:37:43,495 --> 00:37:45,897
Like, my mother
tried to fight it,
852
00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:48,633
but the squirrel win
853
00:37:48,733 --> 00:37:51,169
and made her
fall off the stairs.
854
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:54,572
So make sure
this doesn't happen to you.
855
00:37:54,672 --> 00:37:55,907
Report.
856
00:37:56,007 --> 00:38:00,378
Joining us are Josefina,
Salvador, Renata, and Ivanna.
857
00:38:00,478 --> 00:38:02,380
Now, Josefina,
858
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,083
why did you get into a fight
with a squirrel?
859
00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,085
Uh, um...
860
00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,354
it's hard to explain.
Can I explain?
861
00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,556
Yes, you may.
862
00:38:11,656 --> 00:38:14,225
Um, so, you know,
863
00:38:14,325 --> 00:38:16,928
it -- it was
a pretty long time ago.
864
00:38:17,028 --> 00:38:20,865
And I thought fighting the
squirrel would be a bad idea.
865
00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:24,335
I-I tried it when I was a
baby, but it was --
866
00:38:24,435 --> 00:38:27,772
But I fell.
I fell on my butt.
867
00:38:27,872 --> 00:38:29,974
Okay. That -- That was
a wonderful explanation.
868
00:38:30,074 --> 00:38:33,711
Well, hopefully America
will listen to Renata's PSA,
869
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:36,481
and we'll put an end to these
kind of squirrel encounters.
870
00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:38,049
Okay?
871
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:41,586
-Right.
-All right. Good luck, guys.
872
00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:44,889
And finally, here's a guy
who feels like a dodo.
873
00:38:44,989 --> 00:38:48,126
When his car doors are
blocked, he crawls out the
window.
874
00:38:48,226 --> 00:38:51,696
It's "Trapped on the Trailer,"
sent in by Ginger Hildebrand
875
00:38:51,796 --> 00:38:54,065
from Maryville, Tennessee.
876
00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:56,034
I don't know who designed
that trailer
877
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:59,204
so it blocks the car doors
when you get the car on it,
878
00:38:59,304 --> 00:39:01,139
but I'm glad they did.
879
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,308
Woman:
[ Speaks indistinctly ]
880
00:39:03,408 --> 00:39:05,877
Woman #2: [ Laughs ]
881
00:39:07,545 --> 00:39:08,780
[ Horn honks ]
882
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,882
[ Laughing ]
883
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:14,786
Joining us are Ginger,
Mark, and Domanic.
884
00:39:14,886 --> 00:39:16,588
Now, Ginger,
when your husband
885
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,189
realized he was trapped
in the car,
886
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:22,393
how quickly did you realize
that this was an "AFV" moment?
887
00:39:22,493 --> 00:39:25,363
As soon as I saw him trying
to get out of the sunroof,
888
00:39:25,463 --> 00:39:28,266
I was like,
"I have got to get my phone."
889
00:39:28,366 --> 00:39:29,934
You know,
he's a pretty large man.
890
00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:32,437
And seeing somebody
climb out of a -- a car
891
00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:35,640
any which way
is a video moment.
892
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:36,908
It was a great video moment.
893
00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:38,343
I thought he was gonna try
to go out the sunroof.
894
00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:40,278
But, you know, we're glad
he tried the door window.
895
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:42,680
Wasn't gonna work.
Wasn't gonna work.
896
00:39:42,780 --> 00:39:45,250
Listen, not only
did you save money
897
00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:49,487
by towing the car yourself --
You might actually win 20
grand.
898
00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:50,688
-All right.
-Whoo-hoo!
899
00:39:50,788 --> 00:39:53,324
Yeah. All right.
Good luck, guys.
900
00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:54,425
All right.
We're gonna find out
901
00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,027
who takes home the cash
in just a minute.
902
00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:57,929
But first, let's take a look
at some of the clips
903
00:39:58,029 --> 00:39:59,430
that didn't make our top three
904
00:39:59,530 --> 00:40:01,966
in tonight's
"Honorable Mention."
905
00:40:02,066 --> 00:40:04,369
[ Dramatic music plays ]
906
00:40:04,469 --> 00:40:09,807
♪♪
907
00:40:09,908 --> 00:40:15,246
♪♪
908
00:40:15,346 --> 00:40:17,448
High-pitched voice:
Yee-haw!
909
00:40:17,548 --> 00:40:20,084
♪♪
910
00:40:20,184 --> 00:40:22,153
[ Screaming ]
911
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,657
♪♪
912
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:28,326
[ Whistle blows ]
Man: Strike!
913
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:35,099
♪♪
914
00:40:35,199 --> 00:40:37,936
[ Cheers and applause ]
915
00:40:38,036 --> 00:40:40,471
Okay. It's time to
hand out tonight's prizes --
916
00:40:40,571 --> 00:40:43,074
$20,000 for first,
$6,000 for second,
917
00:40:43,174 --> 00:40:44,375
and $4,000 for third.
918
00:40:44,475 --> 00:40:48,813
Here we go. Our third-place,
$4,000 winner is...
919
00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:50,415
"Riled Up About Rodents,"
920
00:40:50,515 --> 00:40:54,719
sent in by Josefina Ceja
-Arteaga from Elmhurst,
Illinois.
921
00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:56,754
[ Cheers and applause ]
922
00:40:56,854 --> 00:40:58,523
Thank you.
923
00:40:58,623 --> 00:41:00,992
And the winner of the $20,000
924
00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:04,662
and tonight's
funniest home video is...
925
00:41:04,762 --> 00:41:08,032
"Trapped on the Trailer,"
sent in by Ginger Hildebrand
926
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:09,267
from Maryville, Tennessee.
927
00:41:09,367 --> 00:41:12,003
We have Mark, Domanic,
and Ginger.
928
00:41:12,103 --> 00:41:14,172
Congratulations!
929
00:41:14,272 --> 00:41:15,340
[ Cheers and applause ]
930
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,576
Now, Mark, I have to ask you.
931
00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:21,479
When you tried to open the
door and realized,
932
00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:23,481
like, it wasn't
going anywhere,
933
00:41:23,581 --> 00:41:25,817
what thought popped
into your head?
934
00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,319
I-I wa-- I don't know.
935
00:41:28,419 --> 00:41:29,721
It was just kind of,
I was trying to get out.
936
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:31,022
The door wouldn't move.
937
00:41:31,122 --> 00:41:33,291
I tried the passenger door.
I went back and forth.
938
00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:34,592
And it just --
I couldn't get out.
939
00:41:34,692 --> 00:41:36,661
It was like, "Great.
I'm gonna have to ride
940
00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,363
all the way to Memphis
in this thing."
941
00:41:38,463 --> 00:41:39,897
So then,
the window's open.
942
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,600
"Ah, 'Dukes of Hazzard.'"
I'm gonna go for it.
943
00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:43,868
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
944
00:41:43,968 --> 00:41:46,971
[ Laughs ] Well, that was
great. You know what?
945
00:41:47,071 --> 00:41:50,908
A little bit of embarrassment
just paid off big-time.
946
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,343
Congratulations.
947
00:41:52,443 --> 00:41:56,681
You got $20,000
and a shot at $100,000.
948
00:41:56,781 --> 00:41:58,850
That is awesome.
Thank you.
949
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,486
Well, we've come
to the end of the road.
950
00:42:01,586 --> 00:42:05,390
It's at the intersection
of "the show" and "is over."
951
00:42:05,490 --> 00:42:06,824
We'll see you next time.
And don't forget --
952
00:42:06,924 --> 00:42:08,659
If you upload
a video and it airs on the
show,
953
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,428
we'll send you
an "AFV" T-shirt.
954
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:11,529
So good night, everybody.
955
00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:13,364
And, remember,
send your video to me,
956
00:42:13,464 --> 00:42:15,233
you might win 20 G's.
957
00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,435
[ Cheers and applause ]
958
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:18,469
♪♪
959
00:42:18,569 --> 00:42:21,472
-- Captions by VITAC --
960
00:42:21,572 --> 00:42:29,614
♪♪
961
00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:37,822
♪♪
962
00:42:37,922 --> 00:42:45,963
♪♪
963
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:54,505
♪♪