1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,136 (Dr. Hangarter) 'Your health is no formality, Mr. Banks.' 2 00:00:05,157 --> 00:00:07,234 A man carrying as much weight as you are at your age 3 00:00:07,253 --> 00:00:09,189 has got to face the facts. 4 00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:11,327 Come on, I've kept myself in pretty good shape. 5 00:00:11,347 --> 00:00:13,253 Well, your blood pressure's up 6 00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,210 and you've a history of high cholesterol. 7 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:17,257 Come on, doc, I've got a heart like a bull. 8 00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:18,319 Well, don't take it for granted. 9 00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,186 Although the heart is the strongest muscle 10 00:00:20,206 --> 00:00:23,146 in the body, it also has the most responsibility. 11 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:26,293 There are a lot of things that can affect your heart. 12 00:00:26,314 --> 00:00:29,380 [heartbeats] 13 00:00:34,374 --> 00:00:37,461 [heartbeats intensifying] 14 00:00:45,534 --> 00:00:47,494 [theme song] 15 00:00:47,513 --> 00:00:49,544 ♪ Now this is a story all about ♪ 16 00:00:49,565 --> 00:00:51,728 ♪ How my life got flipped turned upside-down ♪ 17 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,620 ♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪ 18 00:00:54,642 --> 00:00:55,718 ♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪ 19 00:00:55,737 --> 00:00:57,819 ♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪ 20 00:01:05,951 --> 00:01:08,937 ♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪ 21 00:01:08,958 --> 00:01:11,882 ♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪ 22 00:01:11,901 --> 00:01:13,912 ♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxing all cool ♪ 23 00:01:13,932 --> 00:01:16,074 ♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪ 24 00:01:16,096 --> 00:01:18,979 ♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪ 25 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,051 ♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪ 26 00:01:21,070 --> 00:01:24,024 ♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪ 27 00:01:24,046 --> 00:01:26,137 ♪ You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪ 28 00:01:26,157 --> 00:01:28,187 ♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪ 29 00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:31,162 ♪ The license plate said Fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪ 30 00:01:31,184 --> 00:01:33,224 ♪ If anything I can say that this cab was rare ♪ 31 00:01:33,245 --> 00:01:37,306 ♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪ 32 00:01:37,325 --> 00:01:40,280 ♪ I pulled up to a house about 7:00 or 8:00 ♪ 33 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,377 ♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell you later ♪ 34 00:01:43,398 --> 00:01:45,449 ♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪ 35 00:01:45,468 --> 00:01:48,606 ♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪ 36 00:01:55,633 --> 00:01:56,713 Morning, all. 37 00:01:56,733 --> 00:01:59,512 - Morning, Master William. - Morning, Will. 38 00:01:59,531 --> 00:02:01,690 - Hey! - What's up, Aunt Viv? 39 00:02:01,710 --> 00:02:04,499 Hi. Is that insurance doctor still in with your uncle? 40 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,749 Oh, yeah, he sure is, Aunt Viv. Oh, you know what? 41 00:02:06,769 --> 00:02:08,548 I heard the doctor say he thinks 42 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:10,557 Uncle Phil might have Dunlap syndrome. 43 00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:12,657 Dunlap syndrome? What's that? 44 00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:15,535 Mean his belly done lapped over his belt. 45 00:02:15,555 --> 00:02:17,554 [laughing] 46 00:02:17,575 --> 00:02:18,615 Ah! 47 00:02:20,514 --> 00:02:23,713 Hold on a minute. I'll have you know my father is not fat. 48 00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:26,542 He's just big-boned. 49 00:02:26,561 --> 00:02:27,710 Larger than life. 50 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,630 Yeah, he's also larger than the Volvo. 51 00:02:31,669 --> 00:02:33,568 Will, it's not funny. 52 00:02:33,589 --> 00:02:35,588 Cholesterol is gathering in his arteries 53 00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:38,596 stopping the blood flow like rush-hour gridlock. 54 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,685 Hold it, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. 55 00:02:41,705 --> 00:02:44,564 Dad will probably outlive all of us. 56 00:02:44,585 --> 00:02:46,584 Only if he eats us first. 57 00:02:48,483 --> 00:02:50,512 And you wonder why daddy won't give you money 58 00:02:50,533 --> 00:02:52,692 for your little trip to Mexico. 59 00:02:52,712 --> 00:02:54,751 But if you ask me, I think it's a waste of time for him 60 00:02:55,471 --> 00:02:56,701 to even consider life insurance. 61 00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:59,559 Now, honey, your father's a very responsible man. 62 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,699 He wants to make sure that if anything happens to him 63 00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:03,548 that we'll all be taken care of. 64 00:03:03,567 --> 00:03:05,586 That's true, after all, daddy has gotten us 65 00:03:05,606 --> 00:03:07,666 used to living this fancy lifestyle. 66 00:03:07,686 --> 00:03:11,474 Oh, did I tell you? I went in on a racehorse. 67 00:03:12,564 --> 00:03:13,643 - Ah. Will. - Hey, what's up? 68 00:03:13,663 --> 00:03:15,533 - Good morning, sir. - Hey, Geoffrey. 69 00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:17,593 - What did the doctor say? - Oh, everything's fine. 70 00:03:17,613 --> 00:03:20,532 Well, he was a little worried about my weight. 71 00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:25,499 Do you realize you're eating about a million grams of fat? 72 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,680 Ah. Thank you, honey. 73 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:28,569 I'm serious, daddy. 74 00:03:28,588 --> 00:03:29,707 I'm not just gonna sit here and watch you 75 00:03:29,728 --> 00:03:31,548 eat yourself into an early grave. 76 00:03:31,568 --> 00:03:33,517 - Okay, then you're excused. - Fine! 77 00:03:33,536 --> 00:03:34,736 - Hey! - Ashley, what are you doing? 78 00:03:35,456 --> 00:03:37,655 Something you all should've done a long time ago. 79 00:03:37,674 --> 00:03:39,604 Hey! 80 00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,484 Well, s-she does have a point, Uncle Phil. 81 00:03:42,504 --> 00:03:45,463 I mean, hey, I'm getting tired of the fat jokes myself. 82 00:03:45,483 --> 00:03:46,742 What is wrong with you people? 83 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:49,600 I weigh the same thing I weighed in high school. 84 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:55,459 Yeah, if you add up all four years. 85 00:03:58,618 --> 00:04:00,537 I guess I'm not getting as tired of those fat jokes 86 00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:01,687 as I thought, huh? 87 00:04:03,585 --> 00:04:04,705 I'm worried about you, daddy. 88 00:04:04,726 --> 00:04:06,695 - I love you. - Uh.. 89 00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:09,614 Ashley, sweetheart, if you feel that way about it 90 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:11,692 I-I'll go on a little diet. 91 00:04:11,713 --> 00:04:13,532 - You promise? - I promise. 92 00:04:13,552 --> 00:04:14,732 - And you'll exercise, too? - Yeah, well, uh.. 93 00:04:15,451 --> 00:04:16,530 If you want a really good workout 94 00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:17,561 you can go with me tomorrow. 95 00:04:17,580 --> 00:04:18,579 Where are you going? 96 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,640 I'm shooting the rapids at 97 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,690 Dead Man's Falls. 98 00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:21,728 See, my therapist said that 99 00:04:22,448 --> 00:04:23,528 the only way for me to get over 100 00:04:23,549 --> 00:04:25,588 Trevor's death is to confront it. 101 00:04:25,608 --> 00:04:27,587 But Trevor died doing a bungee jump. 102 00:04:27,607 --> 00:04:30,496 I know. I'm working up to that. 103 00:04:30,515 --> 00:04:34,644 Well, I'm off to my skydiving class. 104 00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,543 Whoa, whoa, Hil. That's not your parachute. 105 00:04:37,562 --> 00:04:38,702 That's my book bag. 106 00:04:38,723 --> 00:04:41,592 Oops. That would've been embarrassing. 107 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:45,600 [instrumental music] 108 00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:50,459 Yo, Carlton, what's up, man? What you working on? 109 00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:51,648 Oh, it's an assignment from English class. 110 00:04:51,668 --> 00:04:54,527 I'm supposed to imagine myself 20 years from now. 111 00:04:54,547 --> 00:04:57,606 Ah, no wonder you're so depressed. 112 00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,584 The way I figure it, 20 years from now, my dad 113 00:04:59,605 --> 00:05:01,625 will just be taking his seat on the Supreme Court. 114 00:05:01,645 --> 00:05:03,594 But we'll still see each other, especially on weekends 115 00:05:03,613 --> 00:05:06,562 when he and mom come by to see me and little Carlton. 116 00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:11,450 You are little Carlton. 117 00:05:11,471 --> 00:05:12,701 And if this family is at all consistent 118 00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:14,690 my wife's wise-guy nephew will move in 119 00:05:14,710 --> 00:05:17,549 and make my life a living hell. 120 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,657 [chuckles] Your wife? 121 00:05:18,677 --> 00:05:21,456 Oh, this is science fiction. Oh. 122 00:05:24,445 --> 00:05:26,534 Oh, Uncle Phil. Hey, you been out on the courts, huh? 123 00:05:26,554 --> 00:05:28,454 Yeah, played a little tennis with Ashley. 124 00:05:28,475 --> 00:05:30,554 I can't remember when I've worked up such a sweat. 125 00:05:30,574 --> 00:05:33,573 Then you've certainly earned your lunch. 126 00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:35,422 Bon appetit. 127 00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,430 What the heck is this? 128 00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:39,631 Chicken, sir. 129 00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:41,630 Oh, you probably don't recognize it 130 00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:44,699 without a thick coating of batter and gravy. 131 00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:47,578 I can't do this. 132 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,476 I can't give up my favorite foods 133 00:05:49,497 --> 00:05:50,697 cold turkey with.. 134 00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:52,595 Oh, my God. 135 00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:54,515 Turkey. 136 00:05:55,614 --> 00:05:59,692 With pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes.. 137 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:05,531 ...butter-drenched dressing 138 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,449 tiny onions 139 00:06:07,469 --> 00:06:12,438 swimming in a sea of cream sauce. Oh. 140 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,548 Yo, Uncle Phil, snap out of it, man. 141 00:06:14,568 --> 00:06:16,687 You come on, now, those days are over. You promised Ashley. 142 00:06:17,406 --> 00:06:19,635 You're right, Will. You're right, I did. 143 00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,644 Geoffrey.. 144 00:06:21,664 --> 00:06:24,573 ...I could make this worth your while. 145 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:26,642 Well, sir, for a price 146 00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:29,651 I could show you something in a greasy snack. 147 00:06:29,671 --> 00:06:31,391 Hm? 148 00:06:32,491 --> 00:06:33,561 Oh. 149 00:06:35,599 --> 00:06:37,438 What's going on here? 150 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:38,498 [imitating siren wailing] 151 00:06:38,518 --> 00:06:41,407 Put your hands up! 152 00:06:41,428 --> 00:06:43,567 Step away from the chips! 153 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,515 Listen, dad, you might not care 154 00:06:47,535 --> 00:06:49,394 about how clogged your arteries are 155 00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:51,543 but I do, and I'm doing something about it. 156 00:06:51,564 --> 00:06:53,643 And doing a wonderful job, I might add. 157 00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,532 Shut up, Geoffrey. 158 00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:58,502 The kitchen is officially closed for high-fat inventory. 159 00:06:58,521 --> 00:06:59,620 Come on. 160 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:05,468 Will, could I speak to you in the, uh, family room, please? 161 00:07:05,489 --> 00:07:08,438 Oh, yeah, sure thing, Uncle Phil. 162 00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:10,476 - About what? - This. 163 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,377 This is crazy. 164 00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:15,534 [chuckles] Come on, what you talking about, Uncle Phil? 165 00:07:16,545 --> 00:07:18,444 Oh, this one's easy. 166 00:07:19,614 --> 00:07:23,442 Ashley hid the remote control, so I have to walk to the TV. 167 00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:26,450 Geoffrey's feeding me all kinds of healthy food. 168 00:07:26,471 --> 00:07:29,530 - Why does she hate me, Will? - Come on, Uncle Phil. 169 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:32,429 I say she's just following the doctor's orders. 170 00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:33,598 You gotta lose some weight, man. 171 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,488 Yeah, but, but this is getting out of hand. 172 00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:41,375 Ashley has spies at every fast-food restaurant for miles. 173 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:45,533 You know, I'd give anything for a cheeseburger, Will. 174 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,380 Anything. 175 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:52,466 Why, I might even finance your little trip to Mexico. 176 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,689 How you trying to play me, Uncle Phil? 177 00:07:56,411 --> 00:07:57,555 I'm saying Mexico is important to me 178 00:07:57,576 --> 00:07:59,554 but not if it's going to jeopardize your health. 179 00:07:59,573 --> 00:08:01,691 Oh, look, I know the doctor's telling the truth. 180 00:08:01,712 --> 00:08:03,680 It's just that I've got a lot going on right now. 181 00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:05,516 I'm under a lot of pressure. 182 00:08:05,537 --> 00:08:08,538 You-you let me get a running start at this diet. 183 00:08:09,591 --> 00:08:11,589 [treadmill beeping] 184 00:08:15,655 --> 00:08:16,770 See? 185 00:08:18,495 --> 00:08:20,724 Uh, how much running you talking about? 186 00:08:20,745 --> 00:08:24,549 Uh, well, uh, well-well, I'll make a New Year's resolution 187 00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:27,611 and by March, uh, February, uh 188 00:08:27,631 --> 00:08:30,592 uh, you won't even recognize your old Uncle Phil. 189 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,619 And that's this New Year's, right? 190 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,724 Well, yeah.. 191 00:08:33,743 --> 00:08:36,594 Uh, you have my solemn vow. 192 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,611 [instrumental music] 193 00:08:41,724 --> 00:08:42,818 Well, I'm off. 194 00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,725 What are you dressed for? 195 00:08:44,745 --> 00:08:48,791 I'm learning to drive a formula-one race car. 196 00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:51,894 Hilary, I've had enough of your death-defying stunts 197 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:53,801 and I want it stopped now! 198 00:08:53,821 --> 00:08:55,628 [whimpers] 199 00:08:57,785 --> 00:08:58,879 What he means, dear 200 00:08:58,899 --> 00:09:00,696 is we don't want to see you 201 00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:02,886 taking risks like this. 202 00:09:02,906 --> 00:09:03,919 My therapist was right. 203 00:09:03,939 --> 00:09:06,689 You just aren't nurturing enough. 204 00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:11,850 Mom, I don't think we can go to the movies tonight. 205 00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,846 Why not? 206 00:09:13,866 --> 00:09:15,814 No one's gonna be home, except for daddy 207 00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:17,852 'and I'm afraid he's gonna cheat on his diet.' 208 00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:20,823 What? You don't think you can trust me? 209 00:09:20,844 --> 00:09:23,775 Don't worry, honey, there's no unhealthy food in the house 210 00:09:23,794 --> 00:09:25,953 and I'll take all the car keys with me. 211 00:09:25,974 --> 00:09:27,831 - This is ridiculous. - 'Okay.' 212 00:09:27,851 --> 00:09:29,798 I'll put all the local pizza places on alert 213 00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:31,975 and tell them not to deliver. 214 00:09:31,997 --> 00:09:34,938 Doesn't my word mean anything to you? 215 00:09:34,957 --> 00:09:37,788 Of course it does, darling. 216 00:09:37,808 --> 00:09:39,866 Better call the Chinese restaurants, too. 217 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:44,855 [intense music] 218 00:09:59,902 --> 00:10:01,086 You got the stuff? 219 00:10:05,032 --> 00:10:06,176 Right here. 220 00:10:07,943 --> 00:10:09,097 You got the money? 221 00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:12,039 You take a check? 222 00:10:12,058 --> 00:10:14,006 Come on, Uncle Phil, I'm leaving for Mexico in a hour. 223 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:16,095 Look, um, I just don't have that kind of cash on me. 224 00:10:16,114 --> 00:10:18,212 Well, I hope there's a ATM nearby 'cause I've been buying 225 00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:19,999 your food all week and I ain't got no problem 226 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,064 eating your dinner. 227 00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:23,040 Alright. Alright. Alright. Here. 228 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,069 It's good to see you're not wasting time chewing. 229 00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,037 [groans] Oh, oh. 230 00:10:38,057 --> 00:10:39,252 See, that's what you get for eating all fast. 231 00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:41,321 Let me get you something for that. 232 00:10:42,043 --> 00:10:44,131 [groans] 233 00:10:44,152 --> 00:10:45,276 Ah, here's one, Uncle Phil. 234 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:48,167 Relieves cramps, bloating and irritability. 235 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,242 Oh, no, no. This is Geoffrey's. 236 00:10:52,263 --> 00:10:54,300 - Will? - Oh, here's one, Uncle Phil. 237 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,368 It says it relieves gas, and I got to be honest, brother 238 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,310 the past couple of days you've been, oh, no, no.. 239 00:11:01,146 --> 00:11:02,230 No. 240 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,324 'Oh, what you want?' 241 00:11:03,345 --> 00:11:05,272 I want an ambulance. 242 00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,259 I think I'm having a heart attack. 243 00:11:07,279 --> 00:11:08,353 'Oh!' 244 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,201 [groaning] 245 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,358 [siren wailing] 246 00:11:23,401 --> 00:11:25,439 That's a nice hat. 247 00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:37,374 Thanks a lot, man. 248 00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:38,538 Look, is my uncle gonna be alright? 249 00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:42,302 Don't worry, he's my fourth heart attack today 250 00:11:42,323 --> 00:11:45,424 and I already lost one of 'em. 251 00:11:45,444 --> 00:11:48,566 A two-dead day is rare. 252 00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:50,495 Hey, look, man, I don't care how rare it is. 253 00:11:50,515 --> 00:11:52,412 You better make sure you don't lose this one! 254 00:11:52,431 --> 00:11:54,318 Will, I can't breathe. 255 00:11:54,338 --> 00:11:55,543 Hey, my uncle can't breathe, man! 256 00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:59,328 Could be 'cause you're leaning on his air hose. 257 00:11:59,598 --> 00:12:01,345 [breathing heavily] 258 00:12:01,365 --> 00:12:02,379 I'm sorry. 259 00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:03,503 I'm gonna be alright, Will. 260 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,374 I'll be fine. You-you go with your friends to Mexico. 261 00:12:06,394 --> 00:12:09,396 - I'll be okay. - No, no, no. I'm with you, man. 262 00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:11,454 I'm staying with you till the end. 263 00:12:11,475 --> 00:12:14,677 That was a really poor choice of words. I'm sorry, Uncle Phil. 264 00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:16,593 Would you do me a favor, Will? 265 00:12:16,614 --> 00:12:18,622 Uncle Phil, we are not stopping for no burger! 266 00:12:18,642 --> 00:12:20,690 No! No, no. 267 00:12:22,507 --> 00:12:26,592 Would you tell Carlton to look after the family 268 00:12:26,611 --> 00:12:30,486 well, just in case this is my last ride? 269 00:12:30,506 --> 00:12:33,598 [chuckles] Your last ride? What you talking about, man? 270 00:12:33,618 --> 00:12:37,684 We're gonna go for plenty rides in ambulances, man. 271 00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:40,505 I mean, you gonna be alright, Uncle Phil. 272 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:44,611 Hey, man, he is gonna be alright, isn't he? 273 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,718 Well, if I say he is, and he croaks 274 00:12:46,739 --> 00:12:49,560 you gonna be upset, right? 275 00:12:55,672 --> 00:12:57,820 You're a real people person, aren't you? 276 00:12:58,805 --> 00:13:00,642 I guess. 277 00:13:00,662 --> 00:13:02,740 Hey, if he still wants to stop for a burger 278 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,605 I can get Troy to swing by the drive-thru. 279 00:13:06,624 --> 00:13:09,706 With the siren on, we don't have to wait in line. 280 00:13:12,809 --> 00:13:15,850 [instrumental music] 281 00:13:20,839 --> 00:13:22,937 Why are they taking so long with those tests? 282 00:13:23,659 --> 00:13:27,795 The emergency doctor said it's routine with heart attacks. 283 00:13:29,822 --> 00:13:30,866 Where's Carlton? 284 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,755 I left him a message on the phone machine. 285 00:13:32,775 --> 00:13:34,762 I was sure he'd be here by now. 286 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:35,877 This is all my fault. 287 00:13:35,897 --> 00:13:36,961 I pushed daddy way too hard 288 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:37,984 on the tennis court. 289 00:13:38,707 --> 00:13:40,002 No. Ashley, it was me. 290 00:13:40,724 --> 00:13:43,866 I scared him half to death with my stupid thrill-seeking. 291 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:47,028 I'm afraid, dear family, that I am the culprit. 292 00:13:47,751 --> 00:13:48,925 What do you mean, Geoffrey? 293 00:13:48,946 --> 00:13:50,934 Years of my rich sauces 294 00:13:50,954 --> 00:13:53,935 prime cuts of beef, sumptuous desserts 295 00:13:53,955 --> 00:13:56,013 have certainly gone to his heart. 296 00:13:56,032 --> 00:13:58,933 Yes, but if I wasn't there to excuse his behavior 297 00:13:58,954 --> 00:14:00,921 this never would've happened. 298 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,045 Good point. 299 00:14:03,832 --> 00:14:06,051 You can't blame yourself, mom. 300 00:14:06,071 --> 00:14:08,058 "Oh, go ahead, Philip, have dessert. 301 00:14:08,078 --> 00:14:10,076 "You've had a hard day. 302 00:14:10,096 --> 00:14:13,840 "Not to worry, we can let those pants out. 303 00:14:13,860 --> 00:14:17,916 I'm too tired. Go downstairs and have a snack." 304 00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:26,078 Um, I hate to interrupt this guilt-fest 305 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:30,093 but, um, I think that I have to take the rap for this one. 306 00:14:30,113 --> 00:14:33,115 Well, you have been a little wild these past four years. 307 00:14:33,135 --> 00:14:36,116 Not to mention your negative influence on Carlton. 308 00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:40,061 Let's not forget his constant barrage of fat jokes. 309 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,078 - Like this morning. - The elephant. 310 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,106 (Ashley) Stop it, everybody. 311 00:14:44,126 --> 00:14:46,967 You're making Will feel bad. 312 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,235 No, no, i-it's cool, Ash. They're right. 313 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:52,227 It is my fault, especially since 314 00:14:52,247 --> 00:14:55,098 I've been sneaking him food for the past week. 315 00:14:55,119 --> 00:14:56,143 - You what? - No.. 316 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,216 I mean, he said it was only 317 00:14:57,237 --> 00:14:59,014 gonna be until New Year's! 318 00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:00,097 - 'How could you?' - Oh.. 319 00:15:00,118 --> 00:15:01,302 It wasn't all bad food! 320 00:15:02,025 --> 00:15:04,183 I mean, t-the fried rice had bean sprouts in it. 321 00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:06,140 [clamoring] 322 00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:08,289 [instrumental music] 323 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:11,169 [heart monitor beeping] 324 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,268 Uncle Phil, I'm sorry, man. 325 00:15:27,287 --> 00:15:30,346 You wouldn't even be in here if I wasn't sneaking you food. 326 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:37,332 Look, I love you, man. I never meant to hurt you. 327 00:15:39,222 --> 00:15:40,331 I'm sorry. 328 00:15:45,339 --> 00:15:47,367 Uncle Phil, what are you doing there? 329 00:15:47,386 --> 00:15:50,225 I had a heart attack, Will. 330 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,262 Hey, how come you didn't tell me you weren't my uncle, man? 331 00:15:55,283 --> 00:15:57,372 Well, nobody ever comes to visit me. 332 00:15:58,092 --> 00:16:01,140 I crave the attention. 333 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,328 Will, see if he's gonna finish his IV.. 334 00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:08,096 Yeah, me bringin' you food 335 00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:09,304 is what got you in here in the first place. 336 00:16:09,325 --> 00:16:13,223 What? You think a week's worth of chili burgers put me in here? 337 00:16:13,242 --> 00:16:16,371 Forget about it. It's from years of not taking care of myself. 338 00:16:17,090 --> 00:16:18,220 Yeah, but I had to help you. 339 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,159 Oh, come on. I hustled you to get me that food. 340 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,239 Nobody blames you. 341 00:16:21,258 --> 00:16:22,357 A whole waiting room full of people 342 00:16:23,078 --> 00:16:24,117 with a different opinion. 343 00:16:24,136 --> 00:16:25,316 Oh, the family's here? 344 00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:28,154 Well, just about. Carlton's not here yet. 345 00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:31,164 - No? - Oh, we left a message for him. 346 00:16:31,184 --> 00:16:33,142 He-he, you know, he probably just didn't get it yet. 347 00:16:33,162 --> 00:16:35,201 Oh. Yeah. Yeah, sure. That's it. 348 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,199 - Is Carlton your son? - Yes. 349 00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:39,178 Yeah, I got a son. 350 00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:42,256 He don't come to visit me, either. 351 00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:44,096 I'll send the family in, Uncle Phil. 352 00:16:44,115 --> 00:16:45,125 Okay. 353 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:49,284 Excuse me. Are you the Banks family? 354 00:16:49,304 --> 00:16:52,242 - Yes, we are. - I'm Dr. Kevarkian. 355 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,061 [gasping] 356 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,227 Not Kevorkian, Kevarkian with an A. 357 00:17:01,307 --> 00:17:03,226 How's my father doing? 358 00:17:03,246 --> 00:17:05,055 He's going to be fine 359 00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:07,243 but he's gonna have to start taking care of himself. 360 00:17:07,264 --> 00:17:08,343 Is he still awake? 361 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,191 (Kevarkian) 'You can go see him.' 362 00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,131 Geoffrey, why don't you take the baby home? 363 00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:14,179 Very well, Ms. Hilary. 364 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,088 Is that Carlton? Mr. Banks has been asking for him. 365 00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:20,256 Um, Carlton's a little bigger, wears a bow tie. 366 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,194 Oh, doctor, before I leave 367 00:17:24,215 --> 00:17:29,052 could I ask you a couple of questions about ointments? 368 00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:33,130 [instrumental music] 369 00:17:33,149 --> 00:17:35,168 Oh, my God! Carlton, what are you doing? 370 00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:38,037 Cleaning the oven. What's your problem? 371 00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:41,034 Oh. Well, how come you're not at the hospital, man? 372 00:17:41,054 --> 00:17:42,114 Well, it says right here on the label 373 00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:44,183 to let foam sit for 45 minutes. 374 00:17:44,204 --> 00:17:46,153 My hands are tied. 375 00:17:49,221 --> 00:17:52,079 Carlton, what's the matter with you, man? 376 00:17:52,098 --> 00:17:53,188 Hey, your father just had a heart attack. 377 00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:54,198 You don't know that. 378 00:17:54,218 --> 00:17:55,278 It could be acute indigestion. 379 00:17:55,297 --> 00:17:58,085 Even doctors have made that mistake. 380 00:17:58,105 --> 00:18:00,164 Does that window look smudged to you? 381 00:18:03,092 --> 00:18:06,071 Carlton, you're going down to that hospital 382 00:18:06,091 --> 00:18:08,110 if I have to knock you out and call an ambulance. 383 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,189 You come near me, I'll spray. 384 00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:15,187 Man, you don't know how lucky you are. 385 00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:18,075 You can be with your father whenever you want. 386 00:18:18,094 --> 00:18:19,264 You can eat with him and argue with him. 387 00:18:19,284 --> 00:18:21,272 He's there for you. 388 00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:24,021 You know where my father is? 389 00:18:24,041 --> 00:18:25,100 No. 390 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,109 Neither do I. 391 00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:28,139 Look, I don't wanna see my father 392 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,078 with tubes up his nose, okay? 393 00:18:31,097 --> 00:18:32,177 Carlton, there's gonna come a time 394 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,017 when all he has is tubes up his nose. 395 00:18:34,036 --> 00:18:35,015 Not my father! 396 00:18:35,035 --> 00:18:37,054 Everybody's father, except mine 397 00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:39,173 'cause I don't know where the hell he is! 398 00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:44,030 You don't understand, Will. 399 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,008 Yes, I do. 400 00:18:47,028 --> 00:18:48,178 You're selfish. 401 00:18:48,199 --> 00:18:51,227 [instrumental music] 402 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:56,283 Your father's resting comfortably. 403 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,092 Why don't you take your family home? 404 00:18:58,112 --> 00:19:00,001 Oh, well, they finally fell asleep. 405 00:19:00,021 --> 00:19:01,171 I don't wanna wake them. 406 00:19:01,192 --> 00:19:02,261 You don't sleep? 407 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,179 I've got a lot on my mind, Dr. Kevorkian. 408 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,178 Kevarkian with an A. 409 00:19:08,987 --> 00:19:11,076 Call me Russell. I'm on break now. 410 00:19:11,095 --> 00:19:14,214 You wanna go downstairs and have an early breakfast? 411 00:19:14,235 --> 00:19:18,003 Well, thank you, Russell 412 00:19:18,022 --> 00:19:22,109 but I can't. I'm in mourning. 413 00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:23,260 No, your father's gonna be fine. 414 00:19:23,979 --> 00:19:25,139 Oh, no, see, myfiance 415 00:19:25,159 --> 00:19:27,058 had this unfortunate accident. 416 00:19:27,077 --> 00:19:29,155 That's why I was supposed to go bungee jumping earlier today. 417 00:19:29,176 --> 00:19:30,236 See, Dr. Martlin said.. 418 00:19:30,255 --> 00:19:32,044 - Do you know him? - No. 419 00:19:32,064 --> 00:19:33,053 Well, anyway, he's my therapist. 420 00:19:33,073 --> 00:19:34,123 And he thought that if I jumped 421 00:19:34,144 --> 00:19:35,243 from the same place that Trevor.. 422 00:19:35,262 --> 00:19:37,121 Well, he didn't exactly say that. 423 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:39,201 You know how sometimes your therapist says one thing 424 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,070 and they mean something else and you have to figure out 425 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:43,168 what this whole therapist talk thing is and y-- 426 00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:46,057 Oh, look at that. I'm being beeped. 427 00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:51,014 I didn't hear any beep. 428 00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:54,062 [instrumental music] 429 00:20:01,998 --> 00:20:03,087 Dad? 430 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,965 Are you okay? 431 00:20:08,984 --> 00:20:11,163 Me? Pfft. I'll be fine. 432 00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:14,182 I'll be out of this bed in no time. 433 00:20:14,202 --> 00:20:16,061 How about you? 434 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,199 Are you okay? 435 00:20:18,219 --> 00:20:20,967 Me? Sure. I mean.. 436 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:26,954 I should've come sooner, dad, but I was scared. 437 00:20:26,974 --> 00:20:29,033 You're like Superman to me. 438 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:30,192 Yeah. 439 00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:32,961 Cheesecake is my Kryptonite, huh? 440 00:20:37,099 --> 00:20:39,148 I'm sorry I let you down, son. 441 00:20:41,177 --> 00:20:43,956 You could never let me down, dad. 442 00:20:46,953 --> 00:20:48,112 I love you. 443 00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,079 Hey, Superman! 444 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,069 Ask junior to get me a bedpan. 445 00:20:57,088 --> 00:21:00,107 [instrumental music] 446 00:21:07,012 --> 00:21:08,931 Ah! Whoomp! There he is! 447 00:21:08,951 --> 00:21:11,110 [applauding] 448 00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:13,000 (Will) 'Oh, man. Hey, Uncle Phil.' 449 00:21:13,019 --> 00:21:14,198 I'll bet you never thought you'd get a standin' O 450 00:21:14,919 --> 00:21:15,978 in this house, huh? 451 00:21:15,997 --> 00:21:17,037 Well, there was a time I never 452 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,197 thought I'd see this house again. 453 00:21:18,917 --> 00:21:19,966 Oh, you was probably worried about 454 00:21:19,985 --> 00:21:22,064 just seein' this kitchen again, right? 455 00:21:22,085 --> 00:21:23,964 I'm sorry. That's a left-over fat joke. 456 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,922 - I'm trippin'. - 'Oh, go ahead.' 457 00:21:25,942 --> 00:21:28,091 Uh, yeah, well, you get 'em in while you can. 458 00:21:28,112 --> 00:21:32,059 Soon I'll be a lean, mean, judicial machine. 459 00:21:32,079 --> 00:21:34,908 I'll cover all bets on that one. 460 00:21:35,976 --> 00:21:37,086 Daddy, we're not gonna do anything 461 00:21:37,107 --> 00:21:39,186 to make you upset ever again. 462 00:21:40,944 --> 00:21:43,932 Oh, by the way, I dented the Mercedes. 463 00:21:45,092 --> 00:21:49,170 Sweetheart, I am so glad to have you home safe and well. 464 00:21:49,189 --> 00:21:52,957 And if you ever do anything to scare me like that again 465 00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,966 I'll kill you. 466 00:21:54,986 --> 00:21:56,175 Don't worry. I won't. 467 00:21:56,896 --> 00:21:59,075 I'm lucky to have such a wonderful family. 468 00:22:00,183 --> 00:22:02,912 Even my pain-in-the-butt nephew. 469 00:22:02,932 --> 00:22:05,120 Ha! I love you, too, Uncle Phil. 470 00:22:05,141 --> 00:22:07,090 Hey. Come on, let's go watch some TV. 471 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,009 - Okay. - There's still no furniture. 472 00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:11,068 Oh, that's alright. 473 00:22:11,088 --> 00:22:13,147 Oh, man, uh, we don't have no remote. 474 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:16,219 Sure, we do. Geoffrey! 475 00:22:16,241 --> 00:22:19,452 [instrumental music] 476 00:22:23,479 --> 00:22:25,843 Do you realize you're eating about a million grams of fat? 477 00:22:25,864 --> 00:22:27,750 Thank you, honey. 478 00:22:27,772 --> 00:22:30,103 Geoffrey, you skimmed me on the provolone, huh? 479 00:22:30,125 --> 00:22:32,149 I'm serious, daddy. 480 00:22:32,171 --> 00:22:34,121 I'm not gonna just sit here and watch you 481 00:22:34,142 --> 00:22:36,452 eat yourself into an early grave. 482 00:22:36,473 --> 00:22:39,611 So you're gonna throw a fork at me? 483 00:22:39,633 --> 00:22:41,774 I tried to keep going.