[instrumental music]
Will.
Will, would you hurry up already?
(Will) 'Hey, look, man, if you think you can do it any faster'
'then you come in here.'
Oh, stop your squawking.
We only have 15 minutes to do this.
(Will) 'Hey, look, I just ain't trying to be out there'
'looking stupid, alright?'
[door opens]
Let's do this.
[theme song]
♪ Now this is a story ♪
♪ All about how my life got flipped turned upside down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
♪ In West Philadelphia born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said ♪
♪ You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I could say that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to the house about seven or eight ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabbie yo homes smell ya later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air ♪♪
And action!
Hi.
As the king of poultry
I know what good chicken should taste like and if you..
Hold up, Carlton. Wait a minute.
A chicken eating chicken?
That's just sick.
Hilary's gonna need her stage in five minutes.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, girl.
What's up? How you doing? Hey.
What part of the chicken you like? Huh?
Mm.
Excuse me. Break it up.
You, out.
Big Bird, back to work.
Hey, man, you know, I don't know why
I'm doing this dumb mess in the first place.
Because if you don't, I'll fire you from the Peacock.
You'll drop out of school, and the next thing you know
you'll be wrestling for scraps with a guy named Joe
in the dumpster behind the Sizzler.
But, hey, you have to live your own life.
Hi. As the ain't-got-no-damn choice king of poultry..
Cut!
[sighs] I am not experiencing happy chicken here.
[Will clucks]
Now I'm a happy chicken.
Wait a minute, where are you going?
We haven't finished shooting the ad yet, mister.
Look, Carlton. I've had it, man.
I'm 20 years old and I'm in a chicken suit.
You know, I'm just sick and tired
of doing these stupid jobs.
With all due respect, Will
you're not exactly overqualified.
Read my beak, I quit.
Wait a minute, you can't quit, Will.
Get back here. I'm your boss.
You better get back here. Will, you better..
- Come back to the set. - Look, I'm done, no.
- I said, I'm done. No! - I need you on the set now.
What's going on?
(in unison) It's him.
(in unison) He started it.
Hil, do you have any job openings?
I don't know. Ask Werner. He's the producer.
- Well, do you? - Uh, well, yeah.
As a matter of fact we've been looking for
an assistant talent coordinator.
It's a lot of hard work
but there's plenty of room for advancement.
Alright. Assistant talent coordinator.
Hey, I mean, I can assist.
I'm-I'm talented. Definitely coordinated.
[chuckles]
Hey, Carlton Banks here. I'm Hilary's brother.
You know, I've been considering
a vocational change for some time--
Whoa, whoa, wait. Hey, what are you doing here, Teeny?
Look, you already got a good job.
Eh, this is a better job, so step aside.
Anyway, as I was saying--
You know, guys, I make it a rule to
stay clear of all domestic disputes.
So, uh, Hilary?
Hilary, I never asked you for nothin'.
- Okay, you're hired. - Yes!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute. What about me? I'm your brother.
Okay, then you can have the job.
[chuckles]
This is easy. Ha-ha!
Hilary, you just said that I could--
Okay, then you can have the job.
- But you gave me the job. - I'm getting a headache.
Werner? Handle this, please?
I've worked in management for two years.
I can type 100 words a minute
I take shorthand, I speak French and Spanish.
I'm pre-law with a 4.0 average.
Hm. And you?
Well, you know, I mean, I don't like to brag..
- But? - Oh, that's it.
I just don't like to brag.
Pay no attention to him. He's a chicken.
But it was your idea for me to be in this stupid suit.
That's right, you've got it.
[chuckles] He's a follower not a leader.
No, sir. I'm your man, Werner.
Listen, why don't we go grab lunch
and you can bring me up to speed.
[chuckles]
You know, you remind me of myself.
I used to be an entry-level butt-kisser too.
[both laugh]
[music continues]
Jazz, I'm telling you, man.
I would've been perfect for that job.
That big Blow Pop head
swindled his way in and took what was mine.
Damn. That's even worse than getting beat up by a girl.
But anyway, this ought to cheer you up.
"Come get your freak on at Club Freak On."
Took me a long time to find something that rhymed with
"Freak On."
- Hey, hey. - Oh, well, well.
MC Steal-A-Job is in the house.
Do I detect a little hostility, Will?
Sour grapes perchance?
Face it, you couldn't handle the responsibility of a real job.
It's not who you are.
Leave the handling of the likes of Maurice Perry
to professionals.
- Maurice Perry, the comedian? - The one and only.
He's gonna be here any minute with Hilary and Werner
to talk about the possibilities of being on my show.
Wait. Your show?
It's only a matter of time.
Anyway, we're gonna need the house.
So if you two don't mind..
Even if you do mind, go away.
Master Carlton, your guest has arrived.
Hey, look here, Thumbelina--
Pay no attention to my unemployed friend here.
You know, you really ought to bring Maurice
past the club tonight.
I'm sure he wouldn't be interested.
Besides, I have the pleasure of escorting his sister
around town tonight.
Oh, two of y'all can fit on a Big Wheel?
You were funnier with your beak on.
That's it. Beak on.
"Come get your beak on at.."
Shut up.
Then this Chinese guy comes in and says
"Supplies. Supplies."
Oh, that is so funny.
[chuckles] I don't get it, but you are so funny.
Carlton Banks, pleased to meet you.
Ah, pleased to meet you.
I've always enjoyed your comedy.
I'm somewhat known for my bon mots myself.
Ah, excuse me, Bonbon?
Um, we're not finished talking yet.
Maurice, this is my cousin.
Although we never really did a background check.
[Hilary laughs]
Oh, please. Sit down. Sit down.
Will, this is a business meeting.
Why don't you go back into the kitchen
and play with your future cell mate?
So, Maurice, Hilary and I just wanna thank you
for giving us the opportunity to sit and chat a bit.
Now, we're syndicated in all primary markets now
and we're scheduled to expand..
Oh, speaking of schedules, Carlton.
Um, the clinic called.
You're still on for your implant tomorrow.
Uh, anyway, heh..
Our demographics at the moment are very similar..
Ooh, Carlton, what is that on your lip?
Will, there's nothing on my lip.
Oh, nothing but the rotting residue
of the lies you told to steal my job.
For God's sake, Will, accept it. The better man won.
Oh, yeah? Well, the bigger, badder man's about to
beat the better man into oblivion.
(Hilary) 'Hello?'
Sorry, Hilary, but this just has to be said.
I think I've had about as much lip
as I'm gonna take from you, mister.
You think you can do this job?
You really think you've got the stuff
to handle high-profile celebrities?
You think it's easy catering
to a low-rent Martin Lawrence wannabe?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
Pardon me. Pardon me.
I don't have to sit here and be insulted
by some black Potsie Weber.
I'm out of here, okay?
Werner, do something.
Oh, Will, this is all your fault.
Alright, alright. Hey, hey, hey.
Maurice, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Hey, listen, man, ah..
This really doesn't have anything to do with you.
You kind of drifted into a no-fly zone.
Look, Potsie don't know what he talking about, alright?
Look, you are all of that and the truth of the matter is
my cousin Hilary's show is really cool
the audience is growing every day
and furthermore you'd have a great time doing it.
- I don't know. - Hey, hey, look.
Come on, man. I'm telling you.
The honeys is buzzing around there
like a straight-up beehive, you know what I'm saying?
- You know? - Alright, I'll do the show.
Alright.
But keep the Smurf away from me.
That's doable.
- You're fired. - Aah!
Will, you're hired.
[screams]
[laughing] Did you hear that?
You're fired and I'm hired.
Did you hear the rumor that Carlton was fired
and Will was hired?
[screams]
(woman on TV) 'A court date has been set'
for the long awaited trial of Tanya Baine
the infamous showbiz madam.
It is rumored that Ms. Baine's pricey call girls
counted some of Hollywood's top leading men as clients.
The high-profile case has been assigned
to the prominent Judge Philip Banks
who was shown here this morning leaving the courthouse.
I'm not talking right now. It would jeopardize the case.
No, I'm sorry. Thank you very much.
- 'One more question.' - Sorry.
(male #1) 'Please, if you could answer one question.'
It's true what they say, TV really does add ten pounds.
Hmm. What would account for the other 250?
You know, you're not a man who enjoys employment
are you, Geoffrey?
I thought you looked wonderful, dear.
Thank you, darlin'. Come on, Nicky.
Let's go in the kitchen and get some..
Food?
[chuckles] Shut up.
- Hey. - Hey, hey, hey.
Well, I'm off to study.
Don't stay out too late, honey. It's a school night.
Ooh. I'm sorry, Ashley.
[Will grunts]
- Oh. - Whoa.
Hm, studying, huh? What is this, your geometry dress?
Um..
- Ellen wants to borrow it. - Oh.
Well, if it isn't the wise-cracking, job-taking
sister-stealing slug himself.
Whoo! Who's sucking on them sour grapes now, huh, Carlton?
I mean, hey, sure, you lost your new job
and you can't get your old one back.
But, hey, we've all got problems. Look at mine.
I've got to take out a famous comedian's
beautiful sister tonight and I'm out of Binaca.
But you don't hear me crying, do you?
Bo! Ah!
[doorbell rings]
Will, promise me you'll be on your best behavior tonight.
- Hey, aren't I always? - Will, I'm serious.
It's really important that Maurice appear on my show.
Everything has to go smoothly with his sister tonight.
Uh, really, all kidding aside, Hil
I know how much this means to you
and it means a lot to me too.
- I'm not gonna let you down. - Okay. Thank you.
May I present Ms. Jasmine Perry.
Now, which one of you handsome men is Big Willy?
(in unison) He is.
[music continues]
Mm. I'm ready to get my freak on.
Looks like you already got it on.
Listen, uh, you wouldn't wanna go someplace
you know, that was a little quieter, you know, maybe darker?
You're a little ahead of me, Big Willy. But I'm game.
- Let's do this. - Whoa, whoa! Aah!
- Wait. - Let's go.
You know what? Ah, on second thought
I think t-this place will be just fine.
♪ Freak out ♪
♪ Le freak c'est chic ♪
♪ Freak out ♪
♪ Have you heard about the new dance craze? ♪
♪ Listen to us ♪
♪ I'm sure you'll be amazed ♪
♪ Big fun to be had by everyone ♪
♪ It's up to you ♪
♪ It surely can be done ♪
♪ Young and old are doing it ♪
♪ I'm told ♪
♪ Just one try ♪
♪ And you too will be sold ♪
♪ It's called Le Freak ♪
♪ They're doing it night and day.. ♪
Aah! Hey, hey, hey.
[groaning]
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Are you okay?
Oh, no, it's-it's my stomach.
I-I probably should've waited about an hour before we danced.
You know what? You know what?
Um, I should take you back to your hotel.
[music continues]
Whoo!
Hey, girls, here I go.
[chuckles softly]
Alright.
Where's the troll?
Oh, I put her back under her bridge.
[both chuckle]
No, man, I dropped her off at the hotel.
Ready to kick off round two.
Whoo! Ding, ding!
What's up, baby? Why don't you hurry and write your number down
before I don't want it no more?
Come on, let's dance.
- Hey, what's up, Ash? - 'Whoo!'
- Ashley? - Oh, Will.
I can explain.
I can't explain.
Hey, weren't you supposed to be studying?
Oh, well, we did study
really fast, and then we came here.
You are learning entirely too much from me, young lady.
Oh, Will, it's just ginger ale.
Come on, let's get something to drink.
Oh. Oh. Just..
You're not gonna tell, are you?
- Behave yourself. - You too.
Hey.
[chuckles]
Hey, you wanna get a dance off?
Um, why don't you get Maurice something to drink?
Whoo! You like that, huh? Ah!
Oh!
Hey.
Hey, look who's here.
- Where's Jasmine? - Who?
- Jasmine. - Oh!
You said, "Jasmine"
I thought you said, "Jazz, man."
Will, you dumped her, didn't you?
Hey. Hey. Don't go conclusion jumping--
Will, you knew how important this was.
How could you do this to me?
- But what had happened was.. - You gave me your word.
You-you're right. Um.. I'll take care of this, Hil.
Excuse me.
[music continues]
Oh, man. Hey, G, did Jasmine call?
No, I'm afraid not, sir.
[sighs]
I don't believe this, man.
She's not at the hotel.
She's not at the restaurant.
I don't know what to do.
[sighs]
I-if she tells her brother that I dumped her
ain't no way he's gonna do Hilary's show.
[exhales]
I-I cannot believe that I blew this.
First time I have a chance to prove that I'm not a joke..
...and I am.
Perhaps you might enjoy a bowl of soup, sir.
Ms. Jasmine brought it by for you.
She was here?
Why didn't you say she was here?
You asked if she called, sir.
G, come on, man.
- Where is she? - I don't know.
I believe Master Carlton took her to Club Freak On.
Why would he do that?
Don't know, don't care.
Oh, I get it.
He's trying to steal his job back
and he's using Jasmine to do it.
Ooh!
[music continues]
Hey, Jazz, what's up?
Did you see that girl I was here with earlier?
Come on, man. I'm still trying to forget.
Stop playing, man. Where is she?
Gone.
Boy, you got it bad.
[indistinct]
[music continues]
[crickets chirping]
- 'Ashley.' - Yes, daddy?
How was studying?
Um, fine.
You know, the funniest thing happened.
- You're never gonna believe. - Uh-huh.
Will a week cover it?
Better make it two.
Two's good.
[Will sighs]
[chuckles]
Aah!
So did you do it?
Well, I hope you're happy now.
You know, you got what you wanted. I'm out. You're in.
- Is that about it? - Oh! No, sir.
I have only begun.
See, you know what kills me?
I was laughing while I was walking home 'cause it's funny.
You know, how we can live together
all these years almost like brothers
and you could still low-bridge me the way you did.
- Are you about done? - Oh, no, sir.
Furthermore, you little..
- Snake? Weasel? - Oh, yes.
- Nerd? - Oh, yes.
How about square-headed short stack?
This is not the way this is supposed to be going.
Well, you're mad at me for stealing your job, aren't you?
You daggone right. You shouldn't have done that.
You knew how much I wanted this job.
And you demonstrated that
by ditching your responsibility, Jasmine.
Who may not be a looker, but is quite an entertaining gal.
Look, fine. Be that as it may
it does not change what you did
and what you always do to me.
Man, you are just so selfish.
Dude, you got everything, but still on top of that
you gotta take everything that everybody else has.
Always about you. Carlton.
Carlton. Carlton. Carlton.
Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your problem is?
- No, I don't. - You're a slacker.
You say you want things
but you're never willing to work for it.
You never make the sacrifice.
You-you think you're just gonna charm your way through.
Just like your father.
Let me tell you something.
I am nothing like my father, alright?
And I didn't steal your job.
What are you talking about?
Jasmine came by to see how you were feeling
and I covered for you.
Her brother's gonna do the show.
Really?
Well, why'd you do that? I thought you wanted that job.
I did.
But honestly, I thought you're better for it.
Yeah?
And besides..
The Ivy League looks down on the entertainment industry.
[sighs]
You...had a great opportunity
to split my wig tonight, man.
You usually don't pass up opportunities like that.
I thought it was time for a change.
Damn, man, I'm saying. You know.
You gonna be making changes in our relationship
you gotta let me know. You know what I'm saying?
I could've been down at the club, you know.
There's some hundred percent USDA prime choice down there.
I could be tenderizing right now.
Tenderizing as we speak.
[exhales]
Hey, thanks a lot, man.
Look, I-I'm, I'm sorry about that, alright? You know, you..
Hey, you're gonna find something that's bigger and better.
I have no doubt.
- Hey, I owe you, man. - Ah! Believe me, we're even.
No, no, no. I owe you.
Trust me, we are definitely even.
[doorbell rings]
Oh! Listen, I'm, I'm tired.
Can you get that for me?
Oh, yeah, no problem, buddy.
Oh, you know what?
I gotta think of something real fly to do for Hil too.
Get me and her back even again.
[switch clicks]
Carlton was right.
It was only a three-and-a-half-hour virus.
I can't wait for you to take me to Santa Barbara
for the weekend.
I hear they have nude beaches.
[no audio]
Carlton!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪♪