1 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:26,840 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,560 This programme contains some strong language 3 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,120 APPLAUSE 4 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:37,720 CHEERING 5 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:38,280 CHEERING 6 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,320 Good evening, welcome to Have I Got News For You. 7 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,520 I'm Richard Ayoade. 8 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,600 In the news this week, following the explosion 9 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,840 of his Space X rocket ship, Elon Musk attempts to reassure 10 00:00:54,880 --> 00:01:00,040 shareholders with this new range of state-of-the-art tumble dryers. 11 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:00,120 shareholders with this new range of state-of-the-art tumble dryers. 12 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:09,600 LAUGHTER 13 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:09,800 LAUGHTER 14 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,920 PAUL:That would get your clothes dry, wouldn't it? 15 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,000 PAUL:That would get your clothes dry, wouldn't it? 16 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,560 In Downing Street, suspicions continue to grow that one government 17 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,360 insider may be taking secret bribes from pro-EU groups. 18 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:22,760 insider may be taking secret bribes from pro-EU groups. 19 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:38,880 And on a train from Scotland, Keir Starmer realises it's going to be 20 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,720 a wrong journey as he's stuck with a nutter saying how great 21 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:46,800 things were in the old days. 22 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:46,960 things were in the old days. 23 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,600 On Ian's team tonight is a political commentator who says 24 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,760 she is not a massive lefty, which for the BBC counts as balance. 25 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,720 Please welcome Marina Purkiss. 26 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,880 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 27 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,960 And on Paul's team tonight is a comedian who recently said 28 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:10,120 that he hates being forced to take part in standing ovations. 29 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,400 Trust me, if I get one at the end of the evening for what they've 30 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:15,320 Trust me, if I get one at the end of the evening for what they've 31 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,120 given me to read out, you won't be able to resist. 32 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,120 Please welcome Phil Wang. 33 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,200 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 34 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,600 We begin with the bigger new stories of the week. 35 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,480 Ian and Marina, have a look at this. 36 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,720 Ian:Oh, it's a nightclub. 37 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,400 Oh, there's Michael Gove's new friends. 38 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,120 Oh, no, it's a panic, isn't it? 39 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,120 It's the alarm. 40 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,200 It's the alarm. 41 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,280 So, Marina, it was a security alert. 42 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,360 It was, yes, 3pm on Sunday for some people, not for everyone though. 43 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,400 OK. 44 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,960 Some people got it on Monday at, like, 2:30am. 45 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,960 Why? 46 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,440 Because the government, it was their plan... 47 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,320 Are you suggesting they are not competent? 48 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,200 Apparently only 40% of people received the alarm 49 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,280 at the correct time. 50 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,040 Apparently there is a reason for it and the Express have said 51 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:04,360 it is Meghan Markle's fault. 52 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:04,720 it is Meghan Markle's fault. 53 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,200 Yeah, I think I believe that. 54 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,080 I was disappointed not to hear the alarm but then I don't 55 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,120 have a mobile phone. 56 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,200 OK. 57 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:17,120 And I'm wondering what this alarm is for. 58 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:17,320 And I'm wondering what this alarm is for. 59 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,320 It's got to be nuclear war, hasn't it? 60 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,440 So I won't know until I see this bright light on the horizon 61 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,880 and a sudden rise in temperature. 62 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,240 Yes, whereas otherwise you could have done something about it. 63 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,360 Drawn the curtains. 64 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,560 Gone underneath the table. 65 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,160 No, that doesn't work, the curtains is enough. 66 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:35,480 No, that doesn't work, the curtains is enough. 67 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,360 Yes, well, this is the controversial emergency alarm went off at three 68 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,120 o'clock last Sunday, not for everyone. 69 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:46,720 Three Mobile customers didn't get the alarm. 70 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,840 Not many, is it? 71 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:48,840 They didn't get it. 72 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,800 Who else was critical of the alarm system? 73 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,920 Well, I think Jacob Rees Mogg because I think he wanted it done 74 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,960 by semaphore from hills. 75 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:57,960 Yes. 76 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,800 But I think he said... 77 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,960 You will know this because I gather you've had a bit of a... 78 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,160 We didn't talk about this. 79 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,240 Oh, didn't you? 80 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,160 No, we just talked about his complete failure 81 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,360 as a person of government. 82 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,720 Did he bring the subject up or was that you? 83 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,120 Funnily enough, it was me, actually. 84 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,080 But apparently he said it was an example of a nanny state, 85 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,440 which is always funny because he's the only person who 86 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,480 actually has a nanny. 87 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,880 Well, it was other Conservatives as well who were critical, 88 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:25,680 including Greg Smith, MP for Buckingham, who said... 89 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,520 Do you want to see the official Downing Street video telling people 90 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,600 to expect the alarm? 91 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,680 Yes, please. 92 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,840 You're going to have to guess what happens next. 93 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:36,880 OK. 94 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,880 It's thrilling. 95 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,680 All right. 96 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,960 Are we led to believe those people are working on a Sunday? 97 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,880 So, what comes next? 98 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,480 Put us out of our misery. 99 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,440 Is that what he says? 100 00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,640 We're putting you out of your misery. 101 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,960 "If you can't hear the alarm, you are already dead." 102 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,040 Ta-ta. 103 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,160 Let's see what they actually went for. 104 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:15,040 It looks a bit like theatre from a distance. 105 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:15,240 It looks a bit like theatre from a distance. 106 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,400 You're getting theatre, "oh, lovely. 107 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,040 "I was looking for something to do." 108 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,200 Who was told to turn off their phone in advance of the test? 109 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,240 Surgeons ideally. 110 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,840 You wouldn't want them to be startled in the operating room. 111 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,480 That's true. 112 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,920 Oh, sorry, Mr Jones - well, Mrs Jones now, sorry about that. 113 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,600 People who were philanderers, who were cheating. 114 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,040 Was there government advice for that? 115 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:37,040 Well... 116 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,280 Specifically to former prime ministers? 117 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,080 Yes. 118 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:44,120 People who might want to keep a phone secret. 119 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:49,040 And fans at football grounds in case... 120 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:49,120 And fans at football grounds in case... 121 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,240 Who could have done with an alarm this week, 122 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,760 warning of imminent disaster? 123 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:56,840 Diane Abbott? 124 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,040 Yes, she sent a letter to the Observer in which she wrote 125 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,920 that racism and prejudice were different things and implied 126 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,400 there was a hierarchy of racism, which would be lovely 127 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,640 to thresh out tonight. 128 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:10,800 That's why they booked me. 129 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:15,360 Oh. 130 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,320 So we're here to discover who is the most racist person here? 131 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,520 Oh, are we doing it? 132 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,200 Yeah. 133 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,880 I think we're already sitting in our racist order, but you don't 134 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,160 know where it starts from. 135 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,760 She did suggest that certain types of racism should be considered 136 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,720 racism and others should be just merely prejudice. 137 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,560 And that included Irish people, travellers and Jews. 138 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,640 Yeah. 139 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,800 And this is a bit of a problem for the Labour Party putting 140 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:49,880 the word Jews in again. 141 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,120 And, yes, it was late at night and she was sending a formal 142 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,000 letter to the Observer, so, you know, hey, 143 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,520 we've all done it. 144 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,680 Like any first draft of any letter you write, 145 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,320 there is a hell of a lot of racism in there. 146 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,760 That's what second drafts are for. 147 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,520 Right. 148 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,240 Dear milkman, why is my milk white? 149 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,880 There are so many things that have to go wrong there. 150 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,320 One, you write a racist draft. 151 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,520 Two, you open an e-mail. 152 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,680 Three, you add an attachment. 153 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,880 I don't understand how this has been an error. 154 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,320 She did apologise for her letter. 155 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:25,720 The explanation was that she has sent... 156 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:26,520 The explanation was that she has sent... 157 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:32,080 And she had obviously had a couple of initial drafts. 158 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,400 She tried to say that the errors arose. 159 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,720 She didn't write them down, they just arose like mould. 160 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,440 She just left the window open and some anti-Semitism just kind 161 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,120 of settled on the letter. 162 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,320 There was a wonderful moment where Keir Starmer had 163 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:48,960 to pretend that this wasn't terrifically good news. 164 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880 So, it's very, very sad that he had to sack this ghastly 165 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,280 old friend of Jeremy's. 166 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,920 And out she goes, goodbye. 167 00:07:55,960 --> 00:08:00,760 Actually, Diane Abbott has had the whip removed by Keir Starmer. 168 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:01,240 Actually, Diane Abbott has had the whip removed by Keir Starmer. 169 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,280 Yes, she's not been sacked. 170 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,400 She has not been sacked, but Diane Abbott just 171 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,480 had the whip removed. 172 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,200 Yes, that's very different from being sacked. 173 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,160 I'm glad no-one said she had been sacked. 174 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,800 No, she hasn't been sacked, she just had the whip removed. 175 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:15,960 The whip removed, very different. 176 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,120 Is a very simple procedure. 177 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,240 I mean, it's quite an extraordinary thing to say that redheads have been 178 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,720 through the same thing that Jews. 179 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,080 Can you imagine gingers wandering the desert for 40 years? 180 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,400 They wouldn't last 40 seconds. 181 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:29,160 They wouldn't last 40 seconds. 182 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,160 The burning bush wasn't even a bush. 183 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,120 It was a redhead who forgot their sunscreen. 184 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,520 Does this answer your racist question? 185 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:42,200 Yeah, Phil, you've won. 186 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,800 It was going to be a great day for the Tory party. 187 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:50,720 Unfortunately, they had to suspend one of their MPs for suggesting 188 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:51,080 Unfortunately, they had to suspend one of their MPs for suggesting 189 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,080 that the Covid vaccine roll-out had been the worst thing 190 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,080 since the Holocaust. 191 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,200 Andrew Bridgen, not a great moment for either party. 192 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,400 Rishi Sunak, who did he elbow last week metaphorically? 193 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,440 Raab. 194 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,440 Yes. 195 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,080 It's Raab, Raab was found by a government inquiry to have 196 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,520 bullied and harassed certain civil servants. 197 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,360 The report said he was... 198 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,880 Like a detergent. 199 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:14,960 He was persistently aggressive. 200 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,640 Yeah. 201 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,800 He undermined, he humiliated. 202 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,160 Striking the table. 203 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,800 And also that he is... 204 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:26,480 And also that he is... 205 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,440 So, they're going through some tables there. 206 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,400 So, they're going through some tables there. 207 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,760 He's just chopping through wood. 208 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,880 According to the Telegraph, he also said someone's work 209 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,080 was utterly useless and woeful. 210 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,080 Is that bullying? 211 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,160 Is that bullying?! 212 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,800 God Almighty, give us a fair warning. 213 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:53,000 I was waiting for my alarm to go off to tell me that was going to happen. 214 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,840 Imagine being told you are bad at your job by Dominic Raab. 215 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,440 I mean, this is a guy who didn't know that Dover 216 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,960 was important for trade. 217 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,240 was important for trade. 218 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,880 Or thought misogyny was a thing that applied to both sexes. 219 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,760 There's nothing worse than a bullying thicko. 220 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,640 And he is the one who didn't come home from a holiday 221 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,320 during a previous emergency because he thought 222 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,840 the sea was close. 223 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:18,520 the sea was close. 224 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:22,080 That sounds like we're bullying him. 225 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,480 And finally, what's going on here? 226 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,440 This is the police protecting Rishi Sunak. 227 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:26,720 Police horses retire en masse. 228 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,080 Yeah. 229 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,240 I am right, aren't I? 230 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,920 Yes. 231 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:36,480 Yes. 232 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,240 Rishi Sunak is in the middle there and he requires 233 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,440 the entire police force to defend him from protesters. 234 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,600 But there's no protesters there. 235 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:48,560 Unless they're disguised as police. 236 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:52,920 It's actually Mrs Rishi bringing her purse back from the cashpoint. 237 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:53,680 It's actually Mrs Rishi bringing her purse back from the cashpoint. 238 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,680 This is the controversial emergency alarm that went off at three o'clock 239 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,240 last Sunday afternoon. 240 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,880 The timing of the alarm warning us of impending national disaster 241 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:04,920 has been criticised. 242 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:09,280 Some say it went off a minute too early. 243 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,360 Others claim it should have gone off even earlier, 244 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,720 last September when Liz Truss became Prime Minister. 245 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:18,400 APPLAUSE 246 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:18,960 APPLAUSE 247 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,880 Last week, Dominic Raab quit after two complaints 248 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:27,000 of bullying were upheld. 249 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,560 Many of the bullying allegations refer to his time at the... 250 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:34,520 Which is also the name he gives to his fists. 251 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,840 Paul and Phil, take a look at this. 252 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,520 Paul and Phil, take a look at this. 253 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,600 Yes, this is the French, in France, where you would expect 254 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,040 a lot of them to be. 255 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,480 This is a protest in the rise in pensionable age 256 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,680 from 62 to 64, I think. 257 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:59,840 And it's a place called Ganges I think in France 258 00:11:59,880 --> 00:11:59,960 And it's a place called Ganges I think in France 259 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,520 where they try to sort of stop people banging saucepans by saying 260 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:06,680 it was against the law because they called them 261 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,720 portable sound systems. 262 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:08,720 Yes. 263 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,680 "You're not allowed to have a portable sound 264 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,280 system in a public place." 265 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,320 Yes, they're being classified as portable sound devices. 266 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,520 They're being told to put a lid on it. 267 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,120 Over in France, they bash their pots and pans in protest. 268 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,240 Over here, we do it instead of paying our nurses properly. 269 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,600 There must've been some confusion with NHS workers in Paris. 270 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,240 "I appreciate that, I'm on holiday, actually. 271 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,240 You know what I mean." 272 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,960 Yes, this is the news that the French government 273 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:36,360 Yes, this is the news that the French government 274 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,520 are trying to ban the banging of pots and pans which were used 275 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:43,920 by protesters against government pension reform. 276 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,520 You are completely right, Paul. 277 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,560 After complaints of police officers confiscating saucepans, 278 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,440 the French interior minister was forced to clarify 279 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,200 the government's position. 280 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,720 The French love their retirement because in a way it's 281 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:59,360 the strike that never ends. 282 00:12:59,400 --> 00:12:59,960 the strike that never ends. 283 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:11,040 The old racismometer is really high. 284 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:11,360 The old racismometer is really high. 285 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,080 Hitting a saucepan with a wooden spoon has been 286 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:18,160 the French way to express 287 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,360 disapproval since the middle ages, along with the guillotine. 288 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,080 President Macron's pension changes have been pushed 289 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,440 through despite huge public opposition, but what did Macron say 290 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,480 in the Alsace region? 291 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,120 Was Macron annoyed that the French couldn't just be more British? 292 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,840 Shall we see what he actually said? 293 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,560 Here he is. 294 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:45,800 BANGING POTS AND PANS 295 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,160 It's just a bit of fun. 296 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,880 While the French are protesting about the retirement age going up 297 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,000 to 64, who has absolutely no intention of retiring? 298 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,000 Joe Biden. 299 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,240 That is right, Joe Biden. 300 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,480 Joe Biden, 80 years young. 301 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,520 Yes. 302 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,920 He has confirmed that this will be running for president. 303 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,080 It's always funny when he says that, isn't it? 304 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,240 Because he won't be walking. 305 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,640 And then he says he's going to stand and you think, not even that. 306 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,000 The slogan on the announcement video was Let's Finish This. 307 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,640 And I'm like... 308 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:13,280 And I'm like... 309 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,160 He's so old, Jill puts coins on his eyes every night just in case. 310 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:21,880 He's so old, Jill puts coins on his eyes every night just in case. 311 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,440 AUDIENCE: Oh! 312 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,520 Do you want to see his official launch promo? 313 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,640 Yes! 314 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,600 Freedom. 315 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:36,600 Personal freedom is fundamental to who we are as Americans. 316 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,360 There's nothing more important, nothing more sacred. 317 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,240 That's been the work of my first term. 318 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,480 To fight for our democracy. 319 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:47,600 This shouldn't be a red or blue issue. 320 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,960 That's not even slow motion, that's how... 321 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,080 That's not even slow motion, that's how... 322 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,000 That is speeded up! 323 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,640 Well, he'll be 86 at the end of a second term. 324 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,520 It does seem strange that the most powerful country in the world 325 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,080 can only find a very, very old man and a man 326 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,040 who is going to be in jail to run against each other. 327 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:10,040 Only 5% of Americans want to see Biden-Trump face-off. 328 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:10,280 Only 5% of Americans want to see Biden-Trump face-off. 329 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,280 Which well-known figures are keeping themselves in very good trim? 330 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,040 Who is looking hot, do you mean? 331 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,480 Yes, we are going to have a look. 332 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:22,560 Is that AI-generated? 333 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,560 Yes, it is. 334 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,080 Why have you got metal nipples? 335 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,720 Well, you ought to ask yourself, Paul, because it is you. 336 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,760 What?! 337 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,240 APPLAUSE. 338 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,440 Yeah. 339 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,960 You ought to get a metal detector round those sharpish. 340 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,040 It is an AI-created image of what people would look 341 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,720 like at the peak of physical fitness and that is you at your peak 342 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:48,280 of physical fitness as fashioned by AI. 343 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:53,560 I'm speaking to my lawyer about this. 344 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,840 Ian, do you want to get one, Ian? 345 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:02,000 APPLAUSE. 346 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,080 Blimey! 347 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,880 I... 348 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:13,800 That expression tells a story, but I'm not sure what it is. 349 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,040 That expression tells a story, but I'm not sure what it is. 350 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,720 They haven't done me because it would just be the same. 351 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,920 This refers to the demonstrations in France over pensions reform. 352 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:26,520 According to one historian... 353 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,160 According to one historian... 354 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:29,800 Mixed results. 355 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,400 It wasn't quite enough to keep the Nazis out of Paris. 356 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:36,040 AUDIENCE GROANS. 357 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,560 It's a topical show. 358 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:42,720 Got a mock-up of Hitler with no shirt on, have we? 359 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,880 In other news, Joe Biden has announced he will 360 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:45,920 stand again in 2024. 361 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,920 Launching his bid to be reelected as president, 362 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:53,080 Joe Biden announced a minimum tax rate for the very wealthy, saying... 363 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,240 Or any of the Village People, for that matter. 364 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:05,840 1980s pop group, my lord. 365 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:06,320 1980s pop group, my lord. 366 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,360 Oh, thank you very much. 367 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:14,280 Donald Trump this week told his supporters... 368 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:18,600 Donald, you are far too modest. 369 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,360 Donald, you are far too modest. 370 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,400 And so to round two, Strengthometer Of News. 371 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:27,080 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 372 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:27,640 Fingers on buzzers, teams. 373 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,440 Yes. 374 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:36,280 This is a rusty pole in Exmouth. 375 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,480 It was removed mysteriously, no-one knows where it went, 376 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:39,720 no-one knows who took it. 377 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,840 And locals are furious. 378 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,000 They are furious. 379 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,560 It stood on a Exmouth nature reserve since 1909 380 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:50,400 and according to ITV news, it has been... 381 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,720 Let's have another look at the pole. 382 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:55,560 Let's have another look at the pole. 383 00:17:55,640 --> 00:18:00,000 On Tripadvisor, there is a suggested visiting duration of... 384 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:00,720 On Tripadvisor, there is a suggested visiting duration of... 385 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,640 It is 119 years old. 386 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,720 It's actually just announced 387 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:12,320 it's running for President of the United States. 388 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,600 Who has been most vocal about its removal? 389 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:16,920 There is an appreciation society. 390 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:21,040 The Exmouth Rusty Pole Society has been up in arms. 391 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:25,520 Co-founder Robyn Trigger-Glover told reporters... 392 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,280 Co-founder Robyn Trigger-Glover told reporters... 393 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:34,000 Adding... 394 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:34,320 Adding... 395 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,640 Society member Mike Menhenitt is devastated as well. 396 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,920 Here he is... 397 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,120 I remember it from my childhood here from the 1950s, playing with it. 398 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,640 And it is such a shame. 399 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,120 Why has it gone? 400 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,000 It is a landmark. 401 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,720 Perhaps they were not aware of the importance of this pole 402 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,280 to the people of the town. 403 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,640 It has been here since 1909 with the Council deciding 404 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:02,000 that they ought to have some... 405 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,880 So we would like it reinstated, please. 406 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:10,120 Why has he pretended to be a vicar? 407 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,720 What have locals done as a tribute? 408 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,000 Have they laid flowers in its place? 409 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,160 Shall we take a look? 410 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,440 Yes. 411 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,080 Well, the group would love to see the pole reinstated, 412 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,680 but they have found a piece of concrete at least, which, 413 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,600 I believe was left behind, maybe as a base for a plaque 414 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:31,400 in memory of the rusty pole. 415 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:31,800 in memory of the rusty pole. 416 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,760 Does it say - rust in peace? 417 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:37,960 Does it say - rust in peace? 418 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,720 APPLAUSE. 419 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:46,280 Very good, very good. 420 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:46,920 Very good, very good. 421 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,640 This is a rusty sewer vent pole in Exmouth that 422 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,600 isn't there any more. 423 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:55,080 According to one newspaper, the pole... 424 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:59,000 Well, that is Devon for you. 425 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,920 Time now for the Odd One Out round. 426 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,400 Just one between you, this week. 427 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,440 Your four are... 428 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,480 Elon Musk. 429 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:05,480 Donald Trump. 430 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:06,520 Boris Johnson. 431 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,600 And car parks. 432 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,800 Oh, I don't know where to begin with this. 433 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,720 Maybe you think about what happened to Elon Musk recently. 434 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,200 So, his rocket exploded on launch. 435 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,240 It happens to all of us. 436 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,040 Is it a computing malfunction? 437 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,240 Well, you are in the right area. 438 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,480 They have all had problems with technology. 439 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,360 Apart from car parks which will have problems 440 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400 with technology in the future. 441 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,400 Why? 442 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,640 How do we know that? 443 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,920 Well... 444 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,760 Why don't we do something about that?! 445 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,400 Nothing to do with driverless cars or electric cars or something? 446 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,120 It is to do with electric cars. 447 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,160 They are heavier. 448 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,360 They are heavier, cars are heavier. 449 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,560 And what does that mean? 450 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,600 Oh! 451 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,640 It means that... 452 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,080 They are going to fall through the multistorey car park. 453 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,040 AUDIENCE GASPS. 454 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,120 Yes! 455 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,560 According to research, multistorey car parks... 456 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,280 There are actual murmurs in the audience. 457 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,200 According to research, multistorey car parks will struggle 458 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,560 with the increased number of electric cars on the road 459 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,240 because they are much heavier than their 460 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,280 fossil fuel-burning counterparts. 461 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:09,160 That is according to lead scientist... 462 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:09,560 That is according to lead scientist... 463 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:15,480 Mr Whapples confirmed that... 464 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:23,640 Stop touching cars, Chris. 465 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,480 Let's stick with parking. 466 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,520 Why... 467 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:31,440 Can we change the title of this programme to - Who Gives A Lock? 468 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:31,800 Can we change the title of this programme to - Who Gives A Lock? 469 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,680 APPLAUSE. 470 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,560 Every car park in the world is on the brink of collapse 471 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,800 and there you are in your bubble! 472 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,240 Yeah! 473 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,680 As Teslas fall from the sky! 474 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,880 Yeah! 475 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,520 Why might a car park in China not live up to 476 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,560 some driver's expectations? 477 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,600 Because it is dead! 478 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,480 I don't know, I don't care! 479 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,920 I'm pretending! 480 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,440 Yeah, I know. 481 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,000 But I've been here 33 years, how do you think I feel? 482 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,040 I don't know. 483 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,440 If I had empathy, I would give it a go. 484 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,880 Yeah! 485 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,120 An English teacher... 486 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,720 Yeah! 487 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:13,760 ..based in the Hanjiang... 488 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,760 Yeah! 489 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:15,840 ..Of Yangzhou... 490 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:16,880 You know that district? 491 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:17,920 Yeah, absolutely. 492 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,480 ..spotted this sign leading to a car park which offered... 493 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,160 ..spotted this sign leading to a car park which offered... 494 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,200 OK, and you claim you don't care! 495 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,400 Yeah! 496 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,520 Emergency porking, it is a sign that is directing you to Liz Truss, 497 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,160 who is doing a trade deal. 498 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,840 Now, what technology challenges does Boris Johnson face? 499 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,760 He shouldn't have any challenges, he spent all that money 500 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,200 on Jennifer Arcuri, didn't he? 501 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,560 Yeah, he took IT lessons. 502 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,520 He should be an expert by now. 503 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,440 During his Covid isolation - tough times for Boris - 504 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,600 the former Prime Minister kept accidentally disconnecting from Zoom 505 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:54,320 and had no idea how to rejoin. 506 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:54,840 and had no idea how to rejoin. 507 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,640 Therefore his aides set up... 508 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:01,760 So that... 509 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:01,880 So that... 510 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,920 Also his relationship strategy. 511 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:11,280 APPLAUSE. 512 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,440 What problems did Elon Musk have this week? 513 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,160 Well, Phil mentioned his rocket blowing up. 514 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,160 Yes. 515 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,560 Well, SpaceX did their very best to own the situation 516 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:23,000 with a spokesperson describing the explosion as... 517 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:23,800 with a spokesperson describing the explosion as... 518 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,480 How has Donald Trump shown he is not great with technology this week? 519 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,840 It is Truth Social, his own personal social media. 520 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,600 Yes. 521 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,000 His own social media channel, which is Truth Social that he set up 522 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,080 after being banned from Twitter has made the former president... 523 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:41,240 after being banned from Twitter has made the former president... 524 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,560 One of Donald Trump's most popular fundraising 525 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:50,200 vehicles is registered as... 526 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,880 "Inc" presumably standing for - incarcerated. 527 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:55,200 "Inc" presumably standing for - incarcerated. 528 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,200 Time now for the Omitting Words round, which this week features 529 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:02,320 as its guest publication, Natterchat, the newsletter for 530 00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:05,040 amphibian and reptile enthusiasts. 531 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:09,760 We start with... 532 00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:10,200 We start with... 533 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,280 Mars rover too far away to care what is happening 534 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:18,280 on earth after losing will to live. 535 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:18,480 on earth after losing will to live. 536 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,920 And I know how it feels! 537 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:26,360 Mars rover... 538 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,840 Oh, no, it is not lonely! 539 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,040 It is not lonely... 540 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,760 And it hasn't got a pet rock! 541 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,840 It is on Mars, 542 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,760 it's a rocky planet, get another one! 543 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,440 Mars rover does have a pet rock and it is lonely! 544 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,400 That is a headline. 545 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:40,800 What happened to the pet rock? 546 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,240 Did it die?! 547 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,280 Have a look. 548 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,400 This is this is the Mars rover and it has lost its unexpected 549 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:49,480 travelling companion... 550 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,560 LAUGHS. 551 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:51,520 A small rock... 552 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:52,560 This is it news! 553 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,640 Don't... 554 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,280 You are talking about pain here, Paul. 555 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,320 I am! 556 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,560 Pain 8 million miles away on a dead planet. 557 00:24:58,600 --> 00:24:59,680 I know how it feels. 558 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,840 Here is the rock. 559 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,880 AUDIENCE: Aww! 560 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,240 No, no! 561 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,240 Who made that noise? Who made that noise? 562 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,040 About a piece of rock on Mars? 563 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,200 Admit it, Paul, now that you have seen it, you are actually moved. 564 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,120 No, he isn't. 565 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,400 I didn't realise the relationship was that close. 566 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,560 Next... 567 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,280 Heavily biased towards Capricorns. 568 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:26,720 Heavily biased towards Capricorns. 569 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:32,640 Well, it says... 570 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:32,840 Well, it says... 571 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:34,880 It says? 572 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,120 Yes! 573 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:40,480 The goat said... 574 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,480 This is Billy the Psychic Goat. 575 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,240 Here is Billy in action. 576 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,040 Answering the question - 577 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,640 has there been much news round this week? 578 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:54,680 That's true. 579 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,200 Next... 580 00:25:59,240 --> 00:25:59,880 Next... 581 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:05,600 # You've got to get with my friends #. 582 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:06,440 # You've got to get with my friends #. 583 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,240 Then... 584 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:09,560 Oh, get a life. 585 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,000 You really are getting... 586 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,480 If you really want to capture... 587 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,400 And it doesn't sound like you really do. 588 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:20,600 No, I don't. 589 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,240 It is unclear whether you should be on the sponge or the toad 590 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,480 should be on the sponge. 591 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,360 I think you've got to be sitting on the sponge to get 592 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,840 the activity to be of interest. 593 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:33,880 Finally... 594 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,520 Yeah, finally! 595 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,080 Yeah, finally! 596 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,400 SNP accountant, Nicola Sturgeon and bags of cash... 597 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,040 AUDIENCE GROANS. 598 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,960 That is definitely true. 599 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,480 The answer is... 600 00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,400 Here's what the police found in the back of the car. 601 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,520 He is coked up to his eyeballs. 602 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,400 Yeah. 603 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,640 So the final scores are Ian and Marina have four, 604 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,880 Paul and Phil also have four. 605 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:12,880 Wahey! 606 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:17,400 APPLAUSE. 607 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,760 But before we go, there is just time for the Caption Competition. 608 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,040 Can you tell me the best way to Cockfosters? 609 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,840 Are you going to the arsenal? 610 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,600 APPLAUSE. 611 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,280 On which note, we say thank you to our panelists - 612 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,480 Ian Hislop and Marina Purkiss, Paul Merton and Phil Wang. 613 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,640 And I leave you with news that in Peterborough, 614 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,840 there is a slight overreaction to the local council 615 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,600 changing its blue lid recycling bin day from Tuesdays to Wednesdays. 616 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:48,000 changing its blue lid recycling bin day from Tuesdays to Wednesdays. 617 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,400 An awkward moment at a holiday resort as two guests are forced 618 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:59,280 to make small talk after recognising each other from work. 619 00:27:59,320 --> 00:27:59,640 to make small talk after recognising each other from work. 620 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,880 And at a maternity ward in Hartlepool, 621 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,040 an urgent investigation is launched 622 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,920 after a baby tried to climb back inside its mother. 623 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:10,240 after a baby tried to climb back inside its mother. 624 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,160 Good night. 625 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,480 APPLAUSE. 626 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:54,160 I would like to apologise here and now if there was anything 627 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,520 I said that I gave the impression I didn't care 628 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,000 about the Mars rover story.