1 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:09,810 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:25,970 This programme contains some strong language 3 00:00:26,770 --> 00:00:31,730 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 4 00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,690 Good evening and welcome to Have I Got News For You. 5 00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,890 I'm Professor Hannah Fry. In the news this week... 6 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:45,250 In Whitehall, with several ministers not expecting to be back 7 00:00:45,290 --> 00:00:47,650 after the next election, a rather nice Rembrandt suddenly 8 00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:49,530 disappears from the wall. 9 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:58,410 After more than an hour waiting for the Labour leader, 10 00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,930 the camouflage unit of the Royal Fusiliers are beginning 11 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,970 to wonder where Keir Starmer is. 12 00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:14,890 And late for a meeting in the Capitol Building, 13 00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:17,170 Joe Biden makes a quick dash across town from the White House. 14 00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:29,490 On Ian's team tonight is a comedian who works as an NHS anaesthetist. 15 00:01:29,530 --> 00:01:32,610 So if you are a former patient and you recognise him, he obviously 16 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:33,890 didn't do his job properly. 17 00:01:33,930 --> 00:01:36,410 Please welcome Ed Patrick. 18 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:41,410 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 19 00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:44,970 On Paul's team tonight is a comedian who in her spare time loves 20 00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:46,370 going diving and says, 21 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:49,490 "I'm so lucky to have seen some of the things I've seen underwater." 22 00:01:49,530 --> 00:01:51,890 Well, there's someone who hasn't swum in the Thames recently. 23 00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:54,450 Please welcome Zoe Lyons. 24 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:59,450 APPLAUSE. 25 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,530 We begin with the bigger news stories of the week. 26 00:02:03,570 --> 00:02:06,170 Ian and Ed, have a look at this. 27 00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:07,730 Some good looking PPE. 28 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:12,730 Rishi doing his bit for the environment. 29 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:16,970 Oh, and that's the capital gains tax rally. Yeah! 30 00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:19,850 This is Labour's plan to close tax avoidance loopholes to raise more 31 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:22,050 money to throw at the NHS. 32 00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:24,930 They had a problem, didn't they, because the Tories stole their idea, 33 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,770 which was to stop non-doms, which is an idea some 34 00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:30,850 of us have had for years! 35 00:02:30,890 --> 00:02:33,970 And the thing was, we were going to crack down on tax fraud, 36 00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:36,610 and this will raise the money and then we can start 37 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:37,650 reforming the NHS. 38 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:38,690 Paying you better! 39 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,370 Absolutely, yeah. This is why I'm here! 40 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,050 Are we for that? 41 00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:44,810 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 42 00:02:44,850 --> 00:02:47,890 About half the audience were convinced there. 43 00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,010 Let's hear from those people who are against it. 44 00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:52,890 The only reason he's on is so we can see a doctor. 45 00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:57,890 I do have quite a nasty rash I'd like you to have a look at, Ed. 46 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:04,850 Staying with the NHS, what has a medical centre in Kent 47 00:03:04,890 --> 00:03:06,530 been asking patients to do? 48 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:10,090 Oh, perform their own operations? Well, it won't be long, will it? 49 00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:11,850 Yeah. Honestly, you're not far off. 50 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,850 Really? Really? 51 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:16,130 Oh, perform operations on each other? 52 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,770 I think there should be a show, you know, Celebrity Surgery. 53 00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:23,770 Your chance to have your spleen removed by Joe Pasquale. 54 00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:27,970 No, a medical centre in Kent sent this message to patients. 55 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:30,010 We're going to go back to tax for a minute. 56 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:41,650 We're going to go back to tax for a minute. 57 00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:42,690 Yes, let's! 58 00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:46,090 Who else is in the firing line when it comes to tax, unpaid tax? 59 00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:47,970 Is it Angela Rayner? It is Angela Rayner. 60 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:50,850 I know, Ian, you were a bit dismissive of this last week, 61 00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:52,290 so if you could pay attention. 62 00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:53,970 No, there is an issue here. Mm-hm. 63 00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:56,850 In that Labour are announcing a tax clamp-down in the same week 64 00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:59,010 as Angela Rayner won't publish the details of her 65 00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,050 capital gains tax. 66 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,930 So, you can see there is a problem, and you're only allowed, 67 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:05,090 even if you're married, to have one principal residence. 68 00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:07,730 So people keep saying, why doesn't she just publish her tax 69 00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:10,930 advice and clear the matter up? 70 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,490 It was interesting, because I wonder how much 71 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:16,370 of it is a sort of genuine mistake, because we all make 72 00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:17,410 mistakes, you know. 73 00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:19,850 I accidentally certified my own death once, you know. 74 00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:22,970 I thought you were about to say, "I've killed a number of people..." 75 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,050 Myself, yes! 76 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,290 And what are the Tories demanding now? 77 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:31,570 That she publishes the legal advice. Close - they're saying... 78 00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:42,010 There's a sci-fi film you don't want to see, innit? 79 00:04:43,290 --> 00:04:45,170 Why do you think, though, the Conservative supporting 80 00:04:45,210 --> 00:04:47,330 press are so keen to take Angela Rayner down? 81 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,530 They're utterly terrified of her. 82 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:51,410 And they know that they're going to lose the next general election. 83 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:53,330 I mean, they're dropping like flies, aren't they? 84 00:04:53,370 --> 00:04:56,690 Every time you see a Tory MP at the moment, they've got a little 85 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,370 paper box in the hands like that. 86 00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:00,530 "I won't be coming back, won't be needing this." 87 00:05:00,570 --> 00:05:05,370 The ones I see are sending me pictures! 88 00:05:05,410 --> 00:05:07,530 Well, they'll have to depend on their OnlyFans pages 89 00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:09,890 after this, won't they? 90 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,810 Yes, she is one of the few people in the Labour Party 91 00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:13,810 with a personality. 92 00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:15,010 Or, perhaps... 93 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,370 as David Lammy puts it, she's... 94 00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:22,730 So, the other reason that the Conservatives 95 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:25,610 are going for Angela Rayner is that she does keep demanding that 96 00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:26,650 lots of people resign. 97 00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:29,530 Here is a list of the people whose resignation Angela Rayner has 98 00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:34,530 demanded over the last five or six years, have a look at this. 99 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:40,250 Yeah, but she's not been wrong on any of those, has she? 100 00:05:40,290 --> 00:05:44,650 That's like the worst list of Shag, Marry, Avoid. 101 00:05:44,690 --> 00:05:47,130 OK, so where has Keir Starmer been recently? 102 00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:50,770 Hmm... 103 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,970 He's been in Vogue! Did you not catch it? 104 00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,970 In Vogue magazine?! 105 00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:56,890 Vogue magazine, yes, there is a soft-focus profile 106 00:05:56,930 --> 00:06:01,890 {\an8}of Keir and his wife, and it revealed... 107 00:06:03,010 --> 00:06:04,650 Yeah? Not very much at all.Oh. 108 00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:09,650 Except there was one bit in it which was good, which was, 109 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:13,930 what did Keir's wife-to-be say after she'd first met him? 110 00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:14,970 "Who are you?" 111 00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:17,010 I mean, very close. 112 00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:17,290 I mean, very close. 113 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,210 It does seem, though, as though Keir Starmer 114 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:23,930 is getting a little bit more self-awareness. 115 00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:31,450 OK. Rishi Sunak also had an interview this week. 116 00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:32,650 Yes. How did that go? 117 00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:35,530 He gave one to LBC, where he couldn't remember the woman's name. 118 00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,690 She came from Rhondda and he called her Rhonda. 119 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:42,090 Shall we have a look at the clip? Yes, please. 120 00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:44,490 Prime Minister, thank you. Let's go to the next call. 121 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,890 Louise is in the Rhondda Valley, and you're through to 122 00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:49,050 the Prime Minister. Go ahead, Louise, morning to you. 123 00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:50,730 Good morning, Nick. Good morning, Prime Minister. 124 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:51,810 Hi, Rhonda...Oh, sorry... 125 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:56,810 Louise. Louise. Sorry, Louise, hi. 126 00:06:57,970 --> 00:07:01,490 "Or can I call you Ms Valley?" 127 00:07:01,530 --> 00:07:04,650 Unfortunately, that is not the only thing that has gone wrong 128 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,370 for the Prime Minister this week. 129 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:08,410 Shall we play a bonus game? 130 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:09,610 Yes, please. Yes, please, yeah. 131 00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:12,490 Bonus game, bonus game. Does it come with a bit that goes... 132 00:07:12,530 --> 00:07:15,730 # Bonus game, bonus game, bonus game, bonus game!# 133 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:19,890 It's your own time you're wasting, Paul. 134 00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:22,290 I think you'll find it's the BBC's. 135 00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:25,210 APPLAUSE. 136 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:26,970 Right, shall we play a bonus game? 137 00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:29,490 No. No, I don't want to. 138 00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:34,490 I wouldn't wish to waste anybody's time. 139 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:37,530 We're going to play a round of Rishi's Randomiser of Rubbish. 140 00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:39,570 Figures on buzzers, teams, here's the first one. 141 00:07:39,610 --> 00:07:43,450 JINGLE PLAYS. 142 00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:44,890 BUZZER. Oh, do you know this? 143 00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:47,290 He was seen wearing a pair of trainers, is that...? 144 00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:48,330 Oh! 145 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:50,490 That is one of them, but not this one. 146 00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,530 Oh, OK. 147 00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,690 That would be the picture of the trainer, probably. 148 00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:55,370 Oh, yeah! His trousers were too short. 149 00:07:55,410 --> 00:07:56,810 They were. Trousers were too short. 150 00:07:56,850 --> 00:07:59,290 People were saying his trousers are two inches too short, 151 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,570 and Rishi Sunak passionately defended his trouser length 152 00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:05,570 by telling the Sun... 153 00:08:07,650 --> 00:08:09,290 I mean, he's not a tall man. 154 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:11,530 He's probably just wearing long shorts. 155 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:14,170 In that same interview, we found out, where does Rishi Sunak 156 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:15,370 like to go for breakfast? 157 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:18,090 Oh, God... 158 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,170 Wetherspoon's. Oh, he doesn't! He said... 159 00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:26,050 Which is interesting, because the Wetherspoon's app 160 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,970 stayed on his phone, but not the WhatsApps. 161 00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:32,970 Strange. Yeah. 162 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,690 OK, fingers on buzzers, here's the next one. 163 00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:38,850 Something tells me you're going to get this one. 164 00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:40,050 Oh, go on, go on. 165 00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:41,090 JINGLE PLAYS. 166 00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:43,890 BUZZER. His trousers are too short. 167 00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:48,690 So, he's wearing a pair of these Adidas... 168 00:08:48,730 --> 00:08:49,930 Are they called Sham... 169 00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:51,490 Sambas? Sambas. 170 00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:52,610 Sambas, yeah. 171 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:56,970 They were voted Trainer of the Year, and now he's been seen wearing them, 172 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,690 sales will go off a cliff. Absolutely. 173 00:08:59,730 --> 00:09:01,730 Here's what GQ magazine said. 174 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,330 Next one. Fingers on buzzers, what about this one? 175 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:15,290 JINGLE PLAYS. 176 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:17,010 Oh. Oh. 177 00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:18,130 BUZZER. Oh, yes. 178 00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:21,010 Is this about the houses in Rwanda that were for the people 179 00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:24,370 who were going to be sent there, were going to live in these houses? 180 00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,090 These houses have now been sold off. 181 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,250 Indeed. Here is a picture... 182 00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,690 Would you like to see it? 183 00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:32,210 ..of the accommodation, and a sad gazumpee. 184 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:35,010 Also, the state airline, Rwandair as it's called, 185 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:37,410 told Rishi Sunak that they don't want to be associated 186 00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:40,010 with the Government's deportation scheme, because of the... 187 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,810 They should just give it to Ryanair, surely. 188 00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:47,010 They'd do it, wouldn't they? 189 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:49,650 But they'd then drop you off probably in Burundi or Congo 190 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:52,810 and you'd have to get a bus to go... 191 00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:57,810 I've been to Rwanda and I've watched a silverback gorilla mate. 192 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,410 You dirty devil! 193 00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:05,250 With Suella Braverman? 194 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:09,490 APPLAUSE. 195 00:10:09,530 --> 00:10:11,650 Now, we mustn't forget the Lib Dems, so...Who? 196 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:15,250 It's been a bit of an awkward week for Ed Davey because of Alan Bates' 197 00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:19,490 evidence at the Post Office enquiry. Yes. 198 00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:22,210 But what has been tickling him recently? 199 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:23,810 Mrs Ed Davey? 200 00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:27,090 Is it one of their ploys where they knock over something blue? 201 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:28,130 Oh! 202 00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:31,730 You're absolutely right, it's one of their hilarious visual metaphors. 203 00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:32,770 Oh! 204 00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:36,570 The time is running out for Rishi Sunak! 205 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:41,570 CHEERING. 206 00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:59,810 I think it should read, "Time's slowing down." 207 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,450 So, this is the news that Labour are preparing for power 208 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:04,610 by getting their financial scandals in early, BEFORE they 209 00:11:04,650 --> 00:11:05,650 become the Government. 210 00:11:05,690 --> 00:11:08,730 The accusations emerged in an authorised biography 211 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:10,690 of Rayner which was titled... 212 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,690 Annoying, because that means my biography now has to be 213 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:18,530 called Ginger Lady Boffin. 214 00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:23,530 Ginger Lady Boffin?! Yeah, Ginger Lady Boffin. 215 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:28,530 Look, I'm sticking by it and it'll be out soon. 216 00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,170 Exactly. 217 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:32,250 Rishi Sunak revealed this week that he was a big fan of... 218 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,130 Presumably, when the barman asks him, "Small vegetarian?" 219 00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:41,250 Rishi replies, "Yes, I am, can I have some breakfast?" 220 00:11:41,290 --> 00:11:43,370 The Westminster honeytrappers are still trying to ensnare 221 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:46,170 politicians by sending them pictures of men and women, and 222 00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:48,010 in one case a tractor. 223 00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:53,010 When Jacob Rees-Mogg was asked to comment on... 224 00:11:55,810 --> 00:12:00,770 ..he said, "Leave my kids out of it, I'll name them as I please." 225 00:12:05,530 --> 00:12:08,090 OK, Paul and Zoe, have a look at this. 226 00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,770 Ah, yes, this is the Scrabble news. 227 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:12,650 Scrabble has been around for a very long time as a game. 228 00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,050 And they're going to introduce a new version of it, 229 00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:16,250 which is a simpler version... 230 00:12:16,290 --> 00:12:18,170 There's a couple of people arguing over it. 231 00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:21,290 There is a simpler version of it coming along, but they don't want 232 00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:23,450 people to feel bad about it, but it's called 233 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:24,490 Scrabble for Thickos. 234 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,130 I think they were saying that young people are more compassionate, 235 00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:29,530 they're less competitive, so they want a version that people 236 00:12:29,570 --> 00:12:32,690 aren't trying to win. It's a bit like panel games. Yes. 237 00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:37,690 Well, it's been clear that you've not been trying to win for 35 years. 238 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:44,130 APPLAUSE. 239 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:48,290 It's my age, I'm very Gen Z. 240 00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:51,650 But there are specialists, aren't there, who know, 241 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:55,250 you know, two letter words - IY or something, you know, 242 00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:57,330 very obscure sort of words... 243 00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:59,970 But that's sort of the dull version of Scrabble, you know, 244 00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:01,410 people who look up two-letter words. 245 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:03,770 Oh, you mean Strip Scrabble? Now, there's a game. 246 00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:05,690 I think I've got another vowel coming on. 247 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:10,690 Sorry about that. 248 00:13:12,770 --> 00:13:15,090 Three gold cards you get, you also get some helper 249 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:17,010 cards and you've got to complete 20 challenges. 250 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:20,090 The challenges, though, by the way, include... 251 00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:30,690 And as ever, "Stop Grandad putting down a word that's a bit racist." 252 00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:33,970 What has Brett Smitheram got to say? 253 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:35,650 Do you know who he is? 254 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,690 No. No. 255 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,490 He's the UK's number one Scrabble player. 256 00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:40,570 He says that the simpler version is for people... 257 00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:48,410 Thing is, in this show, there is no place for losers, 258 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:51,530 or for any fun, so fingers on buzzers, we're going to have some 259 00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:52,570 quick Scrabble related questions. 260 00:13:52,610 --> 00:13:54,730 What do you mean, there's no place for losers? 261 00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:55,770 He's... Doesn't matter. 262 00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:56,810 OK, question one. 263 00:13:56,850 --> 00:13:59,930 What is the highest scoring word you can fit on a Scrabble board? 264 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,050 I know this one. It's ANAESTHETIST. 265 00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:03,530 Ooh! It is a medical thing. 266 00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:07,210 Is it WAITING LIST? 267 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,370 Yeah, that's the longest. By far the longest. 268 00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,290 It's OXYPHENBUTAZONE. Do you know what that is? 269 00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:15,610 No. Yeah. It's a very... 270 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:18,010 You know, we haven't got time to go into that. 271 00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:21,210 Yeah, of course, yeah. 272 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,370 Do you have a favourite drug to give patients? 273 00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:25,330 I do, yeah. I get do cool things. 274 00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:27,450 I give ketamine to kids. That's cool, isn't it? 275 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,850 LAUGHTER. 276 00:14:29,890 --> 00:14:32,610 Pretty much every day, I give ketamine or fentanyl to kids, 277 00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,290 and then I go to work. So... 278 00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:39,370 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 279 00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:41,370 OK, question two. 280 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:43,530 Yex is a word that is allowed in Scrabble. 281 00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,250 Yex. What does it mean? 282 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,970 Yex. Yex. 283 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:50,330 Is it when you're really eager to have sex and you just go "Yex"? 284 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:53,010 LAUGHTER. 285 00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:55,410 Does that crop up much in your line of work? 286 00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:59,010 LAUGHTER. 287 00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:00,210 It means to hiccup, everybody. 288 00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,370 What is the longest word playable using only vowels? 289 00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:03,810 Ooh... 290 00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:05,090 It is... 291 00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:08,050 It's a Gregorian cadence, apparently. 292 00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,490 Do you know that word, Ian? 293 00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:13,770 Yes, but you can't use it since 2016 cos it's got EU at the front. 294 00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:18,770 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 295 00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:21,410 This is the news that Scrabble has been 296 00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:24,290 made easier for a younger generation who find the game too intimidating 297 00:15:24,330 --> 00:15:25,970 and don't like competition. 298 00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:29,090 Here's a fun fact about Scrabble - it's the only realm of human 299 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,810 experience where Kwasi Kwarteng has any value. 300 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:34,890 LAUGHTER. 301 00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:37,770 APPLAUSE. 302 00:15:37,810 --> 00:15:39,210 And so to Round Two and, 303 00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,850 in tribute the late physics genius Peter Higgs, it's time for 304 00:15:41,890 --> 00:15:44,090 the Large Hadron Collider of News. 305 00:15:44,130 --> 00:15:46,250 Mm. Fingers on buzzers, teams. 306 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:47,370 Yeah. 307 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:50,170 BELL. Hang on, that's just a graphic. 308 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:53,010 LAUGHTER. 309 00:15:53,050 --> 00:15:54,690 Oh, I thought it was the eclipse. 310 00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,730 BELL. 311 00:15:55,770 --> 00:15:58,610 So this is before my time but I believe there's a TV 312 00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:01,450 show called That's Life! Mm-hm. 313 00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:04,530 From what I understand, there was a saying that this dog had. 314 00:16:04,570 --> 00:16:05,730 Mm-hm. Which was, "Sausages." 315 00:16:05,770 --> 00:16:06,770 Mm.Mm. 316 00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,690 They revealed this week that it wasn't actually 317 00:16:08,730 --> 00:16:10,850 the dog saying sausages, everyone believed the dog was, 318 00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:13,970 but it turned out actually the dog was growling and what was making 319 00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:17,690 the noise was the owner squeezing the throat during the growl. 320 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:20,810 For those of you who don't remember, would you like to remind yourself 321 00:16:20,850 --> 00:16:21,850 of this classic moment? 322 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:24,050 Tell us what you have on a Thursday. Yeah... 323 00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,810 DOG GROWLS. And what? 324 00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:27,970 DOG: Sausages. 325 00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,130 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 326 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:34,130 He could also say other words. 327 00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,410 Do you know what other words Prince could say? 328 00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:37,930 AS A DOG:"Black pudding." 329 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,930 LAUGHTER. 330 00:16:39,970 --> 00:16:44,930 AS A DOG:"Stop squeezing my throat. "Can you contact the RSPCA?" 331 00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:52,770 He could say, "Jar." He could say, "Anthony." 332 00:16:52,810 --> 00:16:55,490 And..."George..." PAUL LAUGHS. 333 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,650 ..who was the neighbour who fed him the sausages. 334 00:16:57,690 --> 00:17:00,490 This is the news that the famous talking dog on That's Life! 335 00:17:00,530 --> 00:17:03,370 wasn't actually saying, "Sausages." 336 00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:06,010 The dog was being made to make sounds by its owner 337 00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:08,170 squeezing its throat, but the TV crew were reassured 338 00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:11,890 that the dog was happy because his tail was wagging. 339 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:14,570 Although, it turned out that was only because Esther Rantzen 340 00:17:14,610 --> 00:17:18,530 was tickling his testicles. 341 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,690 LAUGHTER. 342 00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:23,930 That's life. 343 00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:28,930 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 344 00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:31,850 OK, fingers on buzzers, teams. 345 00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:33,690 BELL. 346 00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,970 It's the eclipse. Done it again. 347 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:39,010 BUZZER. 348 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:43,050 LAUGHTER. 349 00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,730 This is the eclipse, which was passing 350 00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:46,930 through North America, and it happens infrequently 351 00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:49,410 but people are always amazed and amused by it. 352 00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:52,290 Do you want to have a little look at what they saw? 353 00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,330 I'd rather not, no. 354 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:54,370 OK... 355 00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,530 Isn't that logo for Disprin? 356 00:17:57,570 --> 00:17:59,690 Scientists also used this as an opportunity to study 357 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:03,130 what effect the eclipse had on the behaviour of animals. 358 00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,050 It was amazing. They thought it was night. 359 00:18:05,090 --> 00:18:06,490 Not all of them, though. No. 360 00:18:06,530 --> 00:18:08,650 Cos according to The Guardian, there were zebras at 361 00:18:08,690 --> 00:18:10,170 Dallas Zoo who were... 362 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:15,250 LAUGHTER. 363 00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:18,570 They do see things in very black and white, though. 364 00:18:18,610 --> 00:18:21,250 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 365 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:22,690 Trump didn't wear the glasses. 366 00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:24,610 Yeah, you're right. 367 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:27,490 Last time there was an eclipse in the US, Trump was mocked 368 00:18:27,530 --> 00:18:28,930 for looking directly at the sun. 369 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:31,090 Do you know what we did this time, though? 370 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:32,530 He did it again. Er, no. 371 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,330 He released a video on Truth Social to celebrate the occasion. 372 00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,810 Oh, my God! There it is! 373 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,130 LAUGHTER. 374 00:18:40,170 --> 00:18:45,130 SHE SCREAMS. 375 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:50,210 LAUGHTER. 376 00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:56,930 GROANING. 377 00:18:57,130 --> 00:19:00,850 The idea that you put out a video saying darkness will descend... 378 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,370 LAUGHTER. 379 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,250 When the eclipse happened, the most Googled thing was, 380 00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:09,090 "Why do my eyes hurt?" 381 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:11,690 Which, I don't know, I'd like to think that we're more 382 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,570 advanced than moths but... 383 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,490 I feel like the next Googled question was, 384 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:17,410 "How do I get out this lamp shade?" 385 00:19:17,450 --> 00:19:19,770 LAUGHTER. 386 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,970 You know what, though? What? 387 00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,890 You were right, Paul, about the eclipse looking 388 00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:24,090 like the Disprin ad. Yes. 389 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,130 LAUGHTER. 390 00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:28,170 Yeah. No, nothing like it. 391 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,810 LAUGHTER. 392 00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:32,490 It's Panadol, isn't it, that looks like... 393 00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:33,530 That's the one. Panadol. 394 00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:35,770 Bring up Panadol. 395 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:37,170 LAUGHTER. 396 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,170 Panadol. Panadol, Panadol, Panadol! 397 00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:40,850 It is Panadol, yeah. 398 00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:42,290 Sorry, it's not Disprin, it's Panadol. 399 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,970 Let's have a look. 400 00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:47,610 LAUGHTER. 401 00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:49,290 All right, Paul. 402 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:50,450 All right. Good. 403 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,850 Here we go. That's nothing... 404 00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:57,290 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 405 00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,970 You've made me look a right thicko. 406 00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:03,810 Did anyone see how the eclipse was inadvertently covered on Mexican 407 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:06,330 rolling news this week? 408 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:09,010 There was a particular eclipse which wasn't the eclipse everyone 409 00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,450 thought it was going to be. 410 00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:13,090 Quite right. Do you want to have a look at it? 411 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,250 Are we allowed to have a look at it? 412 00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,170 I mean, I'm going to play the tape. 413 00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:21,810 THEY SPEAK SPANISH. 414 00:20:31,530 --> 00:20:32,530 LAUGHTER. 415 00:20:32,570 --> 00:20:35,970 I'm no astrologer, but that doesn't look right. 416 00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:37,010 No. 417 00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,050 LAUGHTER. 418 00:20:38,090 --> 00:20:41,690 Do we get to see the rings round his anus? 419 00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:46,290 If we wanted this sort of thing we could go to the House of Commons. 420 00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:47,850 LAUGHTER. 421 00:20:47,890 --> 00:20:51,170 Time now for the Odd One Out round. Just one between you this week. 422 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:55,090 900 sub-postmasters, Ronnie Winslow, Daniel Fairbrother, 423 00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:58,050 and journalists aboard Air Force One. 424 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,650 Well, the Post Office story is about miscarriage. 425 00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:01,690 Mm-hm. 426 00:21:01,730 --> 00:21:04,610 900 people denied justice and persecution for decades and not 427 00:21:04,650 --> 00:21:07,170 given any compensation and now they're finally saying, 428 00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:09,090 "Oh, those people? 429 00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:11,330 Yes, yes, we knew they were innocent, "we just... 430 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,250 We just prosecuted them anyway." 431 00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:15,490 And the odd one out is... 432 00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:19,130 That's an absolute national disgrace and I don't care much about... 433 00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:21,650 HE LAUGHS. Anyway... 434 00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:24,850 APPLAUSE. 435 00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:27,250 Are you going to pick an odd one out or...? 436 00:21:27,290 --> 00:21:30,010 Yes. The Winslow boy. 437 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:31,050 Yes. Mm-hm. 438 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,730 That was a miscarriage of justice. Mm-hm. 439 00:21:32,770 --> 00:21:33,930 Stealing a postal order. Exactly. 440 00:21:33,970 --> 00:21:34,970 Which he didn't do. 441 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,850 He didn't, but he was smoking so he should have been shot. 442 00:21:37,890 --> 00:21:39,090 Yeah. 443 00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:41,770 Any guesses for what the odd one out is? 444 00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:43,690 Yes, the aeroplane journalists cos they did it. 445 00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:46,170 They nicked stuff off the plane. 446 00:21:46,210 --> 00:21:47,290 You're absolutely right. 447 00:21:47,330 --> 00:21:50,130 They have all been wrongly accused of stealing apart from journalists 448 00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:53,250 on board Air Force One who have been asked to return stolen items. 449 00:21:53,290 --> 00:21:55,410 So, before the Post Office inquiry resumed this week, 450 00:21:55,450 --> 00:21:57,970 what was the new evidence, Ian? 451 00:21:58,010 --> 00:21:59,930 ITV had a tape... Mm-hm. 452 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:01,850 ..of people saying, "We had told Paula Vennells..." 453 00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:02,890 Mm-hm. 454 00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:05,610 "..that Horizon could remotely access and fiddle their accounts." 455 00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:07,770 There was that and then there was further evidence 456 00:22:07,810 --> 00:22:10,650 in the inquiry this week and it is sort of getting there. 457 00:22:10,690 --> 00:22:13,290 It literally is everything that anyone has ever said for two 458 00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,490 decades is absolutely true. Mm. 459 00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:17,850 I was pleased to see that the BBC did give Private Eye a mention 460 00:22:17,890 --> 00:22:20,490 because Private Eye did play a large part in writing about 461 00:22:20,530 --> 00:22:21,770 the story for 20-odd years. 462 00:22:21,810 --> 00:22:25,410 APPLAUSE. 463 00:22:25,450 --> 00:22:28,490 That's not enough reason to buy it but, you know... 464 00:22:28,530 --> 00:22:32,690 LAUGHTER. 465 00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:34,850 Do you know - one of the general managers 466 00:22:34,890 --> 00:22:36,530 apologised this week from the Post Office. 467 00:22:36,570 --> 00:22:41,530 He said, when they put the first pregnant postmistress into jail, 468 00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:45,450 she lost her case, he sent a message saying, "Brilliant result." 469 00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:50,450 He's now said, "With hindsight, that doesn't look entirely appropriate." 470 00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:54,010 Ew. 471 00:22:54,050 --> 00:22:56,170 Well, Channel 4 did catch up with Paula Vennells... 472 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,210 Did they? 473 00:22:57,250 --> 00:22:58,250 ..earlier this week. 474 00:22:58,290 --> 00:22:59,690 She came out of a church. 475 00:22:59,730 --> 00:23:01,370 Possibly praying for some kind of miracle. 476 00:23:01,410 --> 00:23:02,570 Let's have a little look. 477 00:23:02,610 --> 00:23:05,450 Can I ask you to make the statement you made, just so... 478 00:23:05,490 --> 00:23:06,890 In terms of the public inquiry? 479 00:23:06,930 --> 00:23:08,810 Have you got nothing to say about that? 480 00:23:08,850 --> 00:23:10,490 Paula, you're accused of lying to MPs. 481 00:23:10,530 --> 00:23:12,890 Did you lie to MPs? 482 00:23:12,930 --> 00:23:17,610 You're accused of being at the centre of a major cover-up 483 00:23:17,650 --> 00:23:21,410 in this whole issue - would you accept there's 484 00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:22,450 been a cover-up? 485 00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:25,010 There's a lot of evidence that there's been a cover-up. 486 00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:26,210 Have you anything to say? 487 00:23:26,250 --> 00:23:30,970 And that, as they say, was that. 488 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:34,090 Yeah, the truth will set you free. 489 00:23:34,130 --> 00:23:37,170 OK, so, Air Force One, do we know what exactly the 13 490 00:23:37,210 --> 00:23:38,650 journalists are accused of stealing? 491 00:23:38,690 --> 00:23:41,090 Yeah, cutlery, teacups... Mm-hm. 492 00:23:41,130 --> 00:23:45,610 {\an8}..towels, anything that's got the sort of presidential insignia on it. 493 00:23:45,650 --> 00:23:48,050 {\an8}Absolutely.A wing. 494 00:23:48,090 --> 00:23:49,090 LAUGHTER. 495 00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:52,530 Do they have sick bags on Air Force One? 496 00:23:52,570 --> 00:23:54,930 When Donald Trump's in charge. I bet there will, yeah. 497 00:23:54,970 --> 00:23:57,810 According to The Daily Telegraph, one of the items suspected of being 498 00:23:57,850 --> 00:23:59,490 taken off Air Force One was... 499 00:23:59,530 --> 00:24:01,890 Although, that later turned out to be the White House 500 00:24:01,930 --> 00:24:03,090 code name for Joe Biden. 501 00:24:03,130 --> 00:24:05,690 LAUGHTER. 502 00:24:05,730 --> 00:24:07,610 Daniel Fairbrother, he's the chap with the fridge, 503 00:24:07,650 --> 00:24:10,010 and he was stopped by police in Stevenage for carrying 504 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:11,210 a fridge on his back. 505 00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,850 Anyone know why he was carrying a fridge on his back? 506 00:24:13,890 --> 00:24:16,970 Did they think he'd nicked it? They did, they thought he nicked it. 507 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:18,010 Wow. Yeah. 508 00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:19,930 He was actually out running, training to break 509 00:24:19,970 --> 00:24:20,970 the record for the... 510 00:24:21,010 --> 00:24:23,170 LAUGHTER. 511 00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:28,010 I hope he gave the police the cold shoulder. 512 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,330 LAUGHTER AND GROANING. 513 00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:31,130 Yes. Thank you. 514 00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:33,450 There we are. 515 00:24:33,490 --> 00:24:34,530 APPLAUSE. 516 00:24:34,570 --> 00:24:36,930 Anyone know why thefts in Scotland would be going up? 517 00:24:36,970 --> 00:24:39,330 Oh, it's something to do with the people who are 518 00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:40,330 running it, isn't it? 519 00:24:40,370 --> 00:24:41,410 LAUGHTER. 520 00:24:41,450 --> 00:24:43,330 It is because police, they're too busy dealing 521 00:24:43,370 --> 00:24:45,730 with the crimes reported under the Scottish hate speech... 522 00:24:45,770 --> 00:24:47,930 Oh, yeah, 8,000 of them. Mm-hm. 523 00:24:47,970 --> 00:24:50,690 The First Minister of Scotland introduces a new bill about hate 524 00:24:50,730 --> 00:24:53,450 crimes and says everybody can complain and most people 525 00:24:53,490 --> 00:24:56,570 complained about him. 526 00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:58,970 And also they announced this law on April Fools Day. 527 00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:01,130 Which probably isn't... 528 00:25:01,170 --> 00:25:03,770 I mean, I try to avoid all those kind of days, 529 00:25:03,810 --> 00:25:05,210 especially in hospital, like April Fools... 530 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:07,610 The only one is Halloween - love working in hospital 531 00:25:07,650 --> 00:25:10,490 on Halloween cos lots of people dress up as doctors for Halloween 532 00:25:10,530 --> 00:25:12,170 so we feel really well staffed then. 533 00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:15,210 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 534 00:25:15,770 --> 00:25:18,610 OK, time now for the Missing Words Round, which this week features 535 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,770 as its guest publication Bushcraft - the magazine dedicated 536 00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:23,210 to bushcraft and outdoor skills. 537 00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:25,130 And we are going to start with... 538 00:25:30,170 --> 00:25:31,530 That links you to a policeman. 539 00:25:31,570 --> 00:25:35,330 LAUGHTER. 540 00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:36,370 No, it's... 541 00:25:40,370 --> 00:25:41,770 Would you like to see this? 542 00:25:41,810 --> 00:25:42,810 Yes, please. 543 00:25:42,850 --> 00:25:44,250 Bracelet made by fashion brand Balenciaga. 544 00:25:44,290 --> 00:25:45,290 What? 545 00:25:45,330 --> 00:25:46,970 Do we know how much that is? 546 00:25:47,010 --> 00:25:48,010 £3,000. 547 00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:49,050 No! Mm. 548 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:51,370 Ho-ho! That's a rip-off. 549 00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:55,130 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 550 00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:57,010 Next up... 551 00:25:57,050 --> 00:26:01,770 Ray Mears recently spotted mating with an antelope 552 00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:03,690 Ray Mears recently spotted mating with an antelope 553 00:26:03,730 --> 00:26:08,690 in the woods near Leicester. 554 00:26:09,130 --> 00:26:11,010 Ray Mears recently spotted mating with an antelope 555 00:26:11,050 --> 00:26:12,210 in the woods near Leicester. 556 00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:13,890 But it's a case of mistaken identity. 557 00:26:13,930 --> 00:26:16,690 It was a horse. 558 00:26:16,730 --> 00:26:19,570 This is a highlight of the bushcraft calendar, the Ray Mears experience 559 00:26:19,610 --> 00:26:20,610 weekend in Leicestershire. 560 00:26:20,650 --> 00:26:23,810 At his demonstration, Ray Mears showed how to obtain clean 561 00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:27,690 drinking water through a simple process of nationalising the water 562 00:26:27,730 --> 00:26:29,770 companies and taking them back... 563 00:26:29,810 --> 00:26:33,090 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 564 00:26:33,130 --> 00:26:35,210 And, finally... 565 00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:39,730 "I only come in for a haircut." 566 00:26:39,770 --> 00:26:43,570 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE. 567 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:48,210 Otherwise known as a short back and whoops! 568 00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,250 No... 569 00:26:49,290 --> 00:26:52,170 This is Justin Allen from New York who was undergoing the procedure 570 00:26:55,050 --> 00:26:57,890 This is Justin Allen from New York who was undergoing the procedure 571 00:26:57,930 --> 00:27:00,290 when a 4.8 magnitude earthquake hit the city last week. 572 00:27:00,330 --> 00:27:01,850 According to the Daily Mail... 573 00:27:08,090 --> 00:27:09,090 LAUGHTER. 574 00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:11,970 And so the final scores are - Ian and Ed have five. 575 00:27:12,010 --> 00:27:13,170 Paul and Zoe have nine! 576 00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:14,690 PAUL:Nine! 577 00:27:14,730 --> 00:27:18,330 APPLAUSE DROWNS CHAT. 578 00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:21,450 But just before we go, there is just time for the caption competition. 579 00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:22,890 Ian and Ed, you've got this. 580 00:27:22,930 --> 00:27:25,290 "So what setting did you put the CT scanner on?" 581 00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:30,290 LAUGHTER APPLAUSE. 582 00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:34,210 Paul and Zoe, you get this. 583 00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:36,690 Oh, yes, the woman is saying, "OK, then, but only 584 00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:39,090 because it's your birthday." 585 00:27:39,130 --> 00:27:43,010 LAUGHTER. 586 00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:45,410 On which note we say thank you to our panellists, 587 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:47,810 Ian Hislop and Ed Patrick, Paul Merton and Zoe Lyons. 588 00:27:47,850 --> 00:27:51,410 And I leave you with the news that on a state visit to the UK, 589 00:27:51,450 --> 00:27:53,810 Emmanuel Macron gets the honour of being shown one of 590 00:27:53,850 --> 00:27:57,050 Britain's cleanest rivers. 591 00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:59,130 LAUGHTER. 592 00:27:59,170 --> 00:28:02,010 In Somerset, there's evidence of another Tory MP caught in a honey 593 00:28:02,050 --> 00:28:04,410 trap as Jacob Rees-Moggs' aides are spotted helping him send 594 00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:07,730 an intimate sketch of himself. 595 00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:11,210 LAUGHTER. 596 00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:15,090 And in Birmingham, one woman, having dropped a piece of pork pie 597 00:28:15,130 --> 00:28:19,770 on the kitchen floor, is determined to get it back. 598 00:28:19,810 --> 00:28:22,650 LAUGHTER. 599 00:28:22,690 --> 00:28:23,690 Good night! Thank you. 600 00:28:23,730 --> 00:28:26,450 APPLAUSE.